Second Chances
by fanfics4you
Summary: They were married once-misunderstandings tore them apart. What happens when life gives you a second chance? Do you take it or just let it go? In which Oliver Queen is about to get married to Laurel Lance but is falling for his ex-wife Felicity Smoak. [Olicity] [AU] RxR Chapter 20 up now!
1. Prologue

**Hola, Arrow Fandom xD Sup? So, this happens to be my first Arrow fanfic-and I really hope you guys like it. Please feel free to share your opinions. Constructive Criticism is appreciated, flames however are not.**

**Thank you xD **

**Disclaimer : You know it.**

"_**Letting go doesn't mean giving up, but rather accepting things that cannot be."**_

**Prologue :**

The hallway was almost silent and Felicity bit her lip as she walked through it, her feet moving across the shiny floor producing small thuds. Her heart was thumping in her chest as she clutched the ring tightly between her index finger and thumb. She almost felt like she was about to hyperventilate as tears collected in her eyes.

She didn't know what convinced her to do this. For the past three years, it had been this ring she had clung to and it was because of it she hadn't let herself fall in love again. She guessed it was because of John Diggle's deep words that hit a nerve.

She stopped momentarily midway-the hallway leading to the eruption of so many memories in her mind. It was the hallway to his house-_their _house. She shook her head-now that was in the past, she wouldn't think of it, she _couldn't _think of it. She couldn't let herself feel vulnerable again, she mused to herself as she resumed walking.

It was weird how during her worst times it was their memories that gave her the strength but now, all they brought was immense pain. She was grateful for the life she was given with him but now, watching him go-it _hurt_ and the irrational part of her brain hoped she wouldn't have met him.

Each minute that passed, seemed like an hour while her pace seemed slow. She wanted to get away from this-to be away from _him _because then only she can forget about him and carve a new life for herself.

Years ago, the idea didn't appeal much to her but then, she didn't have a choice-she had to leave him and she hoped that separation might have made her hate him, might have eradicated those strong feelings for him. The pain he made her go through might have erased that flame of love for him inside of her.

But who was she kidding? She finally had admitted to herself.

She was in love with him.

She always has been in love with him and coming back, she wanted to chuckle to herself-it was a stupid decision on her part, just brought them back. The tears peeked through the corner of her eyes as they finally dropped in twin sets.

_I love you, Felicity. I'm in love with you._

_This is our apartment, our home._

She just wanted to get rid of them, of him. She wanted to let go because no matter what, he would never be hers. Because no matter even if she hated him-

She couldn't stop loving him.

Her panda flats moved against the floor as she stopped in front of the door. Removing her spectacles from her left hand, she rubbed her eyes, trying to remove the moisture. The ring for a moment fixated itself in her thumb as she blinked-hoping her eyes weren't red. Giving her cheeks one final rub, she took a deep breath.

She could do this.

She had to let go.

She _needed _to let go.

Wearing her specs-she knocked on the door. The words Oliver Queen were protruding in white, in contrast with the black door. She remembered when her name was etched their as well-and she wondered how long did it take Oliver to remove it?

Her thoughts had always gone tangentially and now, they were heading off in the wrong direction because at this point all she could think about was their memories-which was very wrong since all it was doing was causing her pain and she was indeed marking the end of it. She hoped this ring would be the end of it-returning it back meant that she was finally moving on with her life, alone-without him.

"Felicity?" His voice snapped her out of her thoughts and she couldn't help but wonder if he would call her with the same intensity when he finally marries _her._

"Oliver," She spoke, hoping her voice came out strong. A small grin took its place across her pale face-"I came here to-"

"_Ollie! Is that the pizza guy?" _

Felicity's heart thudded. Of course she would be here. They were engaged, did she expect anything less? Her eyes were beginning to burn and she took a deep breath, "I just came here to return this." She moved her right hand forward and his eyebrows hiked up. "Felicity-" Before he could continue further, she shoved the ring in his hand. "I just came here to return it. Give it to Laurel," She breathed-"She-she deserves it more."

Oliver's held tilted towards one side momentarily, his mouth parting open but Felicity cut him short-"Actually don't. I mean, why would Laurel want my wedding ring? She would want a new one-"She spoke, "But you can give it to her if you want, I mean-it is yours now. I just came her to return it." She knew she was about to enter he babble zone and this was the worst timing ever because any minute-she might burst and start crying. She just clutched her hands together and stared down on the ground.

"Felicity," His voice was soft and she finally looked up. Her cobalt eyes meeting his blues. "This was yours. I can't keep this-" He was about to move his hand but Felicity stopped him, "No. Like you said we're friends now, and I need to get rid of this-of our past." She finally said the truth, "In order to begin a new relationship-we need to get rid of the old one." She said with eventuality and Oliver felt his heart break as he stared at her.

Needing to get rid of it?

"Be happy Oliver," She spoke softly, her voice breaking, "Don't let her go." She turned around-not giving him a chance to speak, afraid that his words might hold the power to convince her.

It was done.

She had finally let go of the thing that had her clung to the past.

She had accepted reality.

Laurel was his future, she was his past.

Laurel was his future wife, she was his ex-wife.

**How was it, share your opinion?Please PM or review me about it. My first arrow fanfic, hope you guys like it! X**

**Reviews are always appreciated.**

**Thank you xD**


	2. Chapter One : The Circle of Life

**So, hey guys. How are you all doing? I hope everything is okay! Stay happy, every one of you is beautiful.**

**Wait, the last line came out of nowhere. Oh, well-I mean it :D**

**Thank you all so much! To say that I was thrilled would be an understatement. I honestly, expected a few reviews-very few though and my eyes literally just popped out when I saw twenty six reviews. Like really? Olicity is an awesome ship and I just love angsty fics. God, knows how many times I have googled a fic post 2x13 just to see Oliver chase after Felicity.**

**Wait, where was I?**

**Yup, thank you so much - Guest(1),LoveUrSpell88,lucy1997,SisterRose94,Lillovingreading,AvengerGil17,Gin2a,Guest(2),guest(3),guest(4),RinaTui,bdbouchra,Randi,Emilyhotchner-Olicity-bethyl,guest(5),hal, ApekshaStar,Ruxi23,zadeobssessed92611,inspirechangesa,she doesnt mind,ForeverLoveAlways,Killian07,wellwisher123,Tyg452.**

**And thanks to those to who faved and followed my story. Thank you, thank you *Throws Stephen Amell's shirtless pics.***

**A/N :**

**So many people don't read author's note. But please read this? Please?**

**So, I know I got such a good response and you guys expect a lot from me, hope I did justice to the characters.**

**Oliver and Felicity's characters are a tad bit difficult to portray-and I really hope I have done justice to them. However, if you feel something different-please review or PM me regarding it. **

**I am just a sixteen year old and if you do give me some pointers-it would help me. However, they should be polite. It's called constructive criticism for a reason. No flames.**

**A/N : (Again do read)**

**In this story, two stories will play. Olicity flashbacks and the current scenario, of course. In this chapter there is no flashback but soon, the story would unravel. Thank you if you stick around.**

**So, are you still here? Awesome! Let's start!**

**Disclaimer : I don't own anything but the plot.**

"**What is yours, will always come back to you." **

**Chapter One : The Circle of Life.**

The circle of life. Felicity often wondered, why it was called a circle at the end of the day. People had given her a couple of answers-well, mostly _Google_ but what came out was that what has started will end at some point or what has gone will at some point appear again in your life, sooner or later.

Or well, to it say it simply karma is a bitch. It catches up, always.

Not, that Felicity did anything bad. She didn't have anything to be afraid of-but the circle of life was catching up to her. Her past was catching up to her.

**xxx**

The sun was shining brightly, adding distinct colours to the sky. It was crisp sky blue with certain shades a vermillion peeking through it like a small child behind the curtains. The clock struck ten thirty am in the morning and the occupant of the house leaned against the peach couch and sniffed loudly.

The lights weren't switched on-the big glass window allowing the sun light to penetrate her house and lit it up. The atmosphere was upbeat in one sense, but it really wasn't. The news the occupant had just received had shattered her and the surroundings didn't help much.

She sobbed softly, a part of her hurt because of the news and another one shattered because no one cared enough to tell her. Her petite body shook as she leaned against her peach sofa. Rubbing a tissue against her red nose, she sniffed. Her knees were buckled as she hid her head, her spectacles discarded long ago, back in her bedroom. The lone tissue fell across the floor-accompanying the others as she reached for another. She didn't even make an effort to rub her cheeks, she knew-the tears would keep on falling no matter what.

A soft knock echoed as Felicity frowned, looking up. She blinked, the water in her eyes didn't pour down though. It was an early Sunday morning, usually no one graced her house at this time. Standing up, she wore her fuzzy slippers-walking across the small path that lead to her white door. Pulling the skin on her cheeks she tried to remove the trace of tears before taking a deep breath. She really wanted to be left alone at this point and she really hoped that the person on the other side wouldn't notice the cluster of tissues on her couch.

Opening the door, she was ready to open her mouth-when her eyes widened momentarily, "Ray?"

Ray Palmer grinned lightly before stepping aside a little bit. Behind him stood, Iris West and Barry Allen. "What-what are you guys doing here?" She spoke, her voice wavering-which didn't really go unnoticed by her friends.

"Do we really need a reason to be here?" It was Barry who spoke, his signature smile on his face that made him look like a child. Iris stepped forward, her hands opening as she embraced the blonde, "Sweetie, we saw the news." Her voice was soft like a mother comforting her child and for a split second, Felicity missed her mother too. Her hands rubbed across her back and she tried to stop but the tears just wouldn't stop.

She didn't realise that the three had stepped inside-the door shutting promptly.

She didn't know how long she cried.

At this point time didn't seem to be an important factor to her and her friends thought so too.

She cried-cried for the family she had lost and for the supposed family who didn't care enough .God, why can't she ever have a father? Unchecked tears poured down her cheeks as she sobbed her heart out. Iris' hand rubbed her back. Ray clutched her hand firmly, sitting on the maroon settee that he had pulled from the other end of the room. Barry chose to sit on the other side of Felicity, the recently engaged couple embracing Felicity.

What felt like hours later her sobs had turned into hiccups. Barry got up as he made a beeline towards the kitchen bringing a glass of water for his blonde friend. "Here," He spoke softly-as Felicity pulled away from Iris before taking the glass and shooting Barry a grateful smile.

"You okay now?" Ray asked softly and Felicity nodded. "Thank you." She told her best friends, appreciative of their support. Deadly silence ensued for a split second as she placed the empty glass on the couch, besides the lone tissue box. No one knew what to say, afraid something might lead to a break down all over again.

A sudden realisation dawned on Felicity as she looked at Ray, "How did you guys know, again?" She murmured, "The news. It's all over it." He answered, squeezing her hand when a small tear trickled down her cheek, "He died a week ago. No one informed me." She said, her voice breaking.

This was what hurt the most. People back in Starling were aware of how close she was to Robert Queen. Growing up her entire life, she was devoid of fatherly love and when she met _him -his _father, he became her father. He became someone she looked up to and she called him _dad. _Initially, she thought that the word might seem foreign to her lips-but as it turned out, it wasn't. Because he was her dad in every literal sense.

Even after she left Starling, he called her up-to check on her. Sometimes he called Ray too-just to ask, what was up-because apparently, Felicity had a habit of not disclosing her problems. He thought she didn't know, but she did. He supported her-

And now he was gone.

And as if the grief wasn't enough, it was the fact that no one had the decency to call. If it hadn't been for John-who Felicity was glad that had called just to comfort her-only to discover that she wasn't informed in the first place.

She knew they parted of at a sour note-but couldn't he have called once? Ask someone else to do so?

"They didn't call." She spoke again as she cried, "I got to know along with the world. hey could have informed me earlier."She leaned her head on Iris' shoulder, "No one cared."

The bell rung once again and this time it was Iris who got up. Opening the door-it was Courtney Palmer who stood on the other side, her hands in the air as she showed them the box of Dunkin Donuts, "I come bearing gifts," She said as she stepped inside.

Felicity smiled lightly as Barry spoke, "We will always care."

Some people always care.

**xxx**

"Oliver," The twenty nine year old looked up, his blue eyes looking at his friend, "Yes, Digg?" He spoke, pushing himself backwards as he stood. Reaching over, he switched off his computer before standing up.

"You didn't tell her." His words were crisp and to the point. This had always been his attitude and it was one of the qualities he appreciated about him.

"I didn't," Oliver didn't choose to elaborate further. He knew Digg was close to Felicity and he might have told her. Honestly, he had thought about calling her initially-but then his thumb would just hover above her contact name, her beautiful smile enlightening his phone screen. There was a traitorous part of him that wanted to talk to her, to tell her, to just want to hear her voice-while another just loathed her and he let the latter dominate. Even now it was a matter of heart and mind.

No, he won't call her just for him to get hurt further.

"She had the right to know, Oliver." He looked at him, his arms crossed across his chest and Oliver chose that moment to escape the room-moving past him, "I figured out somebody else would tell her."

Digg cursed under his breath, following him out of the room. Oliver stiffened momentarily but then relaxed, realising he wasn't bringing the topic of her again.

"You are wrong, Oliver. That girl loved him and she deserved to know. Don't you think after all that she has ever done for you, the least you could have done is call her?"

Needless to say, he was wrong.

Oliver bit back a growl. Talking about her had always been his Achilles heel. He turned around, his blue eyes looking up for a split second before he closed them-momentarily though. Even now the thought of her, brought out emotions that he had buried a long time ago. "It hurts too much." He said trying to shrug off the topic. They reached near the stairs and Diggle didn't talk further, which Oliver was grateful for.

"Good, you two are here." It was Moira Queen's voice that snapped their attention. Oliver furrowed his eyebrows, a small part of him happy when he saw her. For the past one week, she wasn't in the right state of mind, no one was as a matter of fact.

Robert Queen was a great man. Sure, Oliver would admit he had his fair share of flaws, but in the end-who doesn't? He was a great father. And his death had been a shock and shook the Queen family to the core. He never thought-his father would leave them so suddenly, he hadn't even watched Thea get married and his heart broke when he thought of his sister. She was the closest to him. If they would have known his demise was so close, Oliver would have made sure that he spent every moment with him. If only. His father had died of a heart attack. When it did occur, of course it was a matter of concern and they made a mental note to take care him in every way possible. Only they didn't get another chance when two days post his cardiac arrest, he died in his hospital bed.

Moira was devastated. Oliver was pretty sure she wouldn't have been standing right here, looking presentable if it hadn't been for Thea. A surge of pride washed over Oliver. At twenty one, even though she was the youngest-she still tried to be strong. She put her grief on one side to help her mother, and that was commendable.

"Jean is here, we need to discuss the will."

Oliver nodded as he started his trip down the stairs. Diggle followed suit.

**xxx**

"We need to clean this area," Felicity mumbled as she stood up. Her eyes wondered off to the discarded tissues, "So much of tissue papers. You know Walmart has a sale for these things? Along with others of course. And the price was so cheap-and now I've just used it too much and they would literally rip me off of money-I don-" Her mind was trying to channel her emotions this way, which-eh, wasn't really a surprise.

"Felicity," Courtney placed her hands on her shoulder and she breathed deeply, "We'll get you tissues. Now, take a deep breath." Felicity did as she was told and opened her eyes a second later, "Iris and I will clean this up. The boys will get the donuts and Twister." She spoke with a smile.

"I don't think-"

"You are stuck with us Smoak, stop complaining."

"Fine, what about me?"

"Go get a hot shower. We'll spend the entire day together. A game of twister, lunch and then a movie night. We'll watch toy story, catch up on Game of Thrones and then, the weird Sherlock and female show that you have been dying to show us." Iris spoke, and Felicity couldn't help but add.

"Elementary."

"What?"

"The show, it's called Elementary." Iris chuckled and nodded. A sudden thought entered Felicity's mind and a part of her knew that they were trying to cheer her up and she shouldn't bring it up but she did, never the less. "You know, the funeral is day after tomorrow."

"Then we'll go with you." Ray's answer was almost instantaneous and Felicity nodded, running a hand through her hair. A small smile played on her lips, "I should probably get on with the shower."

Courtney nodded, "Probably." She turned and looked at her husband, "You call Caitlyn and Cisco too."

Barry chose to interrupt at this point, "I did call them. Apparently they are stuck in traffic, on the other side of the town."

Iris' eyebrows hiked up, "What were they even doing there?" After seeing Barry shrug, all she did was roll her eyes.

"Get going now!" Courtney said as she pushed Felicity through the bathroom that was just behind her couch.

Felicity sighed as she stepped inside the white tiled room. Her gaze instantly turned towards the mirror as she let out an inaudible gasp as she saw herself. Her hair was messed up, her nose pitch red-which oddly reminded her off Rudolph the red nose rein deer-God, was her mind messed up? Shaking her head, she turned around-ready to take a shower.

She can get over this.

She will get over this.

**xxx**

"According to the will set up by Robert James Queen," Jean began as she sat on the plush sofa, Walter Steele-the eldest Queen's dear friend and CFO of QC, sat beside her-peeking through the papers every now and then.

"Thirty percent of the shares belong to QC goes to Thea Deardan Queen," Jean spoke, her tone informal-knowing she was talking to her friends. She spoke straight to the point. Thea seemed to nod at this as she sat on the opposite couch right beside her mother. Oliver sat on her other side. Laurel, Tommy and Diggle stood right behind them, ready for moral support. Laurel's hand rested on Oliver's shoulder-the diamond ring she wore on her ring finger sparkling bright. In normal situations, she would have tried to hide it, but Jean and Walter were friends. Ollie had recently proposed to her-two days back. It came of as a big surprise, after all they had been together for a year only but Laurel knew she loved him and clearly, he loved her back. He wasn't ready for her to reveal the news to the media-Robert's Queen death already creating a scenario, which was surprising since the news was released early that day.

"Thirty five percent of the shares that belong to the company, I hand over to my beloved son Oliver Jonas Queen." Jean read off and Oliver frowned. Wait, thirty five?-what about the other-"Jean," Moira spoke-"You might have read something wrong, Darling. That is just sixty five percent."

Jean smiled at Walter, as if asking him to take over. Walter chose to put this statement lightly. He had to think before he spoke, "Moira, have you heard of the company Oracle?" The female in question nodded.

"Well, the company's success rate has achieved another height due to the company's power being shifted to two CEOs instead of one. Recent results have shown that having two CEOs instead of one, can help a company accomplish more by delegating different roles to each head. Robert presented this idea to the board of directors and they agreed to it," He spoke-his British accent prominent. "It provides increased scope with broader capacity and since Oliver had been involved in the company for some time now, Robert thought his work load would become less and the company can achieve new heights even in his absence." He took a deep breath, firmly ending his speech.

"I'm not sure where you are heading with this conversation, Walter." Moira spoke, her eyebrows furrowed.

"I am saying that, Robert Queen has placed two CEOs to take his place after his demise. The first one being Oliver while the second person will stand by him and is also the owner of the left thirty five percent of the shares belonging to QC."

"And who is that?" It was Laurel who put up the question.

"Felicity Smoak."

* * *

**Reviews are always appreciated. Again, please take a look at the second Author's note for anything else. **

**In famous words of an awesome author, 'Tarafina'- Reviews are lifeblood. (I hope she doesn't mind me using this. Thank you so much for everything : D**

**Also, I have a dilemma.**

**Thea/Roy or Thea/Tommy? Please pm or review. They dominate our thoughts and make us write.**

**Team Olicity : D**

**Signing out, **

**Fanfics4you **


	3. Chapter Two : Decisions

**Holy Shit. Twenty eight reviews. When I first wrote the last chapter, I was afraid because well-I received such an awesome support for the last chapter and I just didn't want to disappoint you all. Thank you much though. You guys made my day :D**

**It is because of you guys we write and to have people out their boosting us just encourages her to do more. Thank you so much! **

**Now, some here are some answers :**

**BlueSkittlez( Lemme just say, I love the name) : The two chapter were meant to be different The first one is the prologue and an upcoming event. The story begin in Chapter 1 and will thus lead us to the event in the prologue. A prologue is just like an introduction. I just wanted to showcase that it is ultimately about the dynamics of Olicity's relationship plus Laurel. Thank you for the review! **

**Now, my friend SilverKnot did give me some pointers. And I appreciate it. I have worked extra hard on this chapter and I really hope you guys like it. Like I said, constructive criticism is appreciated, Flames are not.**

**Also, can anyone Beta chapters for me? I'll be grateful to you. PM me if interested! :D**

**Now, before we begin.**

**Thank you to all (In no particular order) : Lady Paine( Can I just say, I love goodbye Stranger?)chloelovestvdspnhod, sleepy ferbie, Chelsea, TeamFreewill28,kimminightwing, , sweety23,wazo29, ApekshaStar,Wellwisher123, SilverKnot, NYZ2010, nerdydoll, idjkitten, guest(1), Randi,Lililovingreading, roseberrygirl, RinaTui, Tired (haha :p), annepenadragon,guest(2),Tyg52,DouDoune94, lucy1997.**

**I am sorry if I'm missing someone.**

**Now, I see some people reviewed for the second time and I love you for it. *Throws STEMILY pics from Flarrow screening***

**Also, a big big thanks to anyone who faved or favourited the story. Or the author, meeeeee :D**

**I love all of you though :D *Throws virtual cookies at all* **

**The timeline is set this way. I think in the show, the age difference between Oliver and Felicity, is what? Three years? **

**I am not too sure though.**

**TIMELINE :**

**Oliver Queen met Felicity Smoak met each other in 2007. Oliver Queen was just twenty two while Felicity Smoak had recently graduated from MIT and was just twenty one. Laurel was twenty two. **

**They met each other seven years ago.**

**That being said, let's begin-shall we?**

**Disclaimer : I don't own anything. **

"_**You can never hate the person who you once loved more than anything."**_

**Chapter Two : Decisions**

"No, absolutely no!" The sounds of the blonde woman ricocheted across her small townhouse. Her friends cringed momentarily before gaining their momentum back. The blonde however, continued to pace across the small path that led to her door, before turning around and heading towards her television.

Why can't God just limit the drama for once?

She was feeling good. She was still in her pyjamas and they were already one movie down. A box of mint chip was already eaten and she had almost forgotten about the horrible day. The hot shower had indeed helped her and she had finally let a smile grace her face, a genuine one for the first time in what seemed like hours.

But then all hell broke loose.

One single phone call and that was all it took. If she knew that today her call list would actually suck, she would have cancelled her subscription. Anything would be better than this.

This was blasphemy.

It wasn't as if the Queen family didn't hate her enough. Felicity had come in terms with that fact in the past few hours. She knew that they weren't on the best terms but they still had that formality lingering as a thread between Oliver and Felicity. Her apparent perception broke when no one had the decency to call from that side and as painful as it had been, she had drunk the bitter potion and had accepted that, no one cared.

Not even for formality sake.

Which sucked to be honest. But in the past three years, Felicity had endured a lot of stuff. And she had now accepted it whole heartedly that no one in that family cared, well-except John Diggle-who Felicity looked up as a brother and of course,

Robert Queen.

And Grammy too.

Rest of the family?

Not so much.

When Felicity and Oliver parted ways, the media had turned frenzy. She still vividly remembered the time when she was being called a gold digger, a whore whose entire plan was to just trap a Queen and then just to get away with the property. She remembered when he out of all-

She didn't want to think about it.

That is why she chose to leave without even asking for a penny. Getting money wasn't her intention to begin with. She was a MIT graduate for God sake. She had the power to earn and fend for herself. But the accusations were just too much and now it seemed, that everything they ever spoke about-was coming to life.

Yay, another way to crush Felicity Smoak.

She knew at this point she should acknowledge that his father had placed something in her name but she couldn't. Because that belief had been overshadowed by the oncoming fear. Working with him of all people.

Oliver.

She stopped, sitting on her couch. Her eyes turned into slits as she massaged her temple. The index finger and middle fingers of her hands massaged her forehead as she tried to get rid of the oncoming headache.

"Felicity, you need to calm down-"Caitlyn hadn't even completed the sentence when Felicity bombarded at her, "Calm down!" Oh no, it was her loud voice. But honestly, did they expect anything less from her in this situation?

"I have just received a call from their lawyer stating that I have inherited thirty five percent of Queen Consolidated-" Felicity took a deep breath, damn that word was long, "shares and you are asking me to calm down?! He wanted me to be the CEO!"

Iris winced as she watched her best friend start a rant yet again. Her heart throbbed in her chest for the poor girl, who definitely had too much to endure that too in one single day. A small part of her was happy that Robert Queen was considerate enough and she even let it show on her face, until it all vanished after seeing her reaction.

Clearly, she wasn't happy. Now, Iris had never met Oliver Queen but she had heard stories about him. A part of her was still sad and maybe it was Queen's lucky stars that forbade their meeting or else Iris would have made sure that the guy never came near her best friend ever again. It had only been three years, since they had become friends, post her apocalyptic relationship but Iris knew enough about that damned family that made her hate them.

Well, except Robert Queen.

She remembered Felicity always spoke so highly of him, like he was her father and that is exactly what he did.

Acted like a father.

"No!" It was firm and Iris closed her eyes momentarily planning a scheme in her head just to convince her. "Call Donna, "She heard Courtney whisper to Caitlyn and her eyes caught Iris' who blinked, understanding what she was up to.

Felicity had endured a lot of stuff in these past three years and it was the time that the course of life changed.

Not that she hadn't shaped a great life for herself but that girl deserved better.

She deserved the best.

And her family and friends would make sure she gets it.

…

"How could he do that? Why did he do that?" Laurel whispered to herself, the reality of the situation hitting her. She was curled up on her couch, a blanket draped over her. It was late in the evening and she had lost track of how long had she been sulking in here.

The news they had received had hit the family hard. While some reacted harshly, calling the will false, Laurel reacted emotionally. She knew she wasn't close to the eldest Queen but this news seemed liked a crasher.

A constant reminder that she can never be Felicity.

She didn't want to be the CEO. No, this isn't what she wanted but it is the fact that in his death, he chose _her _to be with him.

It wasn't like she wasn't insecure enough. She wanted to scoff at it. There was a time that she and Felicity were friends….sort of. Albeit, they started off wrong. But can you honestly blame her? She came between her and her Ollie and destroyed the little world she had created for herself. She didn't know, how she got over him. Honestly, she never got over him but when she watched the two, it was like she was the outsider. Like she was the third wheel to a fully functioned car.

And so she stood in the shadows. She had suppressed her feelings for _Ollie _and had moved on,but then-then, life happened.

And it was the so called couple caught in the crosshairs.

At that point Laurel made sure that she would be there for her friend. And soon, Oliver reciprocated her feelings and Laurel realised that she was fooling herself all along. She never got over him_. _She even remembered cursing herself for ever believing that Oliver and she were nothing.

Laurel and Oliver were _everything. _There was a reason it didn't work out between Oliver and Felicity. Her eyes flickered towards the ring that rested on her finger. It was a symbol, a symbol of their love.

A love she wasn't going to let go of.

Laurel Lance had lost Oliver Queen to Felicity Smoak once.

She'll be damned it she let that happen again.

…

"Oliver, I think that is enough." Tommy spoke, taking away the glass of whiskey he had previously been gulping from. Oliver frowned as he stared at his best friend. His face lolled momentarily, a side effect of drinking too much alcohol as he realised what had happened. He leaned against the bar for support, "It's my club, Tommy. I want it." He spoke, reaching for it when Tommy raised it high up in the air.

Oliver pouted as he finally sighed, knowing the battle was futile. He leaned his head against the bar, his friend gulping away the golden liquid meanwhile. "She is going to be back in my life." He retorted and Tommy simply shook his head, "She'll be back for the funeral. All she has to do is place the shares in your name and sign the contract. And voila! She is out of our lives again."

"That's the thing," Oliver said with a side smile, "She is always here." He said pointing at his head, "She is always here." He said pointing at the left side of his chest, right above his heart, "And now she'll be here." He said pointing at his eyes which reminded Tommy of those weird stares he saw in the movie before Oliver pointed in front of him. "I can even see her babbling right now. Being her cute little self." He said, his voice turning slurry at the end before leaned his head on the bar table.

Needless to say, he was drunk.

Oliver hadn't admitted this ever that he never moved on from Felicity. Despite the heartbreak that woman caused him, he never moved on from her. His family knew this, so did Tommy-but when he started dating Laurel, their perceptions changed.

The thought that maybe he finally had started to let go of her.

Clearly, they were wrong.

Oliver closed his eyes, the alcohol taking a toll as he dozed off. "She won't be ruining your life this time buddy."

Tommy Merlyn swore as he watched his brother.

He won't let her.

…

"What part of no don't you get mom?!" Felicity shouted, "I will not work with him. I hate him!" She spoke and her friends blanched. They had seen Felicity angry but this? This surpassed everything.

"Felicity, think about it baby. This can shape your life. You are capable of so much-" Donna was cut short by her daughter. An audible sigh echoed from the cell that was perched on the table as she knew what was about to come ahead.

"I don't want it!" She spoke, her voice firm. "I am going to go there and name the company after him. I'll talk to the board of directors if necessary, I am not working with them! Besides, being a CEO of such a big company, that too with him?! Nope, never!"

"Felicity-"

"No, Courtney!" Felicity screamed at her. Her voice was hoarse, breaking off at one end, "You know what happened with them! You all know!" She screamed at her friends, "And you want me to work with him?! To run their company?! They'll chew me out alive! You already know how hard it is for me to go to dad's funeral for _one _day and you want me to stay there?!"

"Felicity, you should understand that we only want the best for you." Cisco spoke. It was weird, he was generally the funny one but here he was, trying to console her. "No, if you did, you would have asked me to stay away from that God damn place!"

She sat on the couch with a thump, cursing herself for feeling so vulnerable. Small tears collected in her eyes, fighting off the barriers that she had created. "I don't want to go there," Her voice was a whisper, "I don't want to see him."

"Hey," Ray crouched down right in front of her. "We want the best for you, okay? I am not saying you're wrong. You are the vice president of my company for God sake, it is amazing. But being a CEO Felicity, it is different. You are in the front line. And that requires experience." Felicity opened her mouth to protest, or well-tried to, "If you accept this offer it will lead to a benchmark in your career. Do you remember Oliver's last words to you?" And Felicity closed her eyes, feeling the hurt inside of her.

Of course she remembered his last words. His name itself was a pang to her heart and to top it all, those words. They were etched brutally across her heart. It made her not believe in love. Because love? Love is painful as hell.

At this point everyone but Ray looked confused. They were aware of Felicity's past but they were certain details Felicity had like to keep it to herself because reminiscing them only brought pain. Only Ray knew-who was her friend before the Oliver scenario. They went to MIT together and since, then had been best friends.

God knows what Felicity would have done without him.

"Prove him wrong then. Show him how far you have come without him. Robert considered you as his daughter. He left the company in your hands because he knew you were capable. Are you going to let his trust just crumble away?"

Felicity whimpered slightly. She silently contemplated the situation. With a small sigh, she got up. Ray following suit. Rubbing her damp cheeks she looked at the occupants in her house, "I need some time to think."

"You have all the time you want sweetheart. We'll be here." Her mother's soothing tone helped her calm down further as Felicity drifted towards her bedroom.

She needed some time alone.

…

**February 2008**

_Oliver Queen tore his lips off Laurel Lance who let out an audible groan at the loss of contact. The door slammed shut and Oliver's worst fears were confirmed at that point._

_Laurel's eyes widened as she stared at her boyfriend, "He is early." Oliver rolled his eyes, biting back a sarcastic comment._

"_No shit."_

_Yeah, he failed._

_Laurel shot him an amused smile before she realised the intensity of the situation. Soft thumping echoed around what was a quiet house and Laurel knew what was happening, "Dad is coming!" Oliver looked around, his head moving like a lost rooster before starting to head towards the wooden closet._

_Laurel pulled back the hoodie that hung off behind his neck, "Not here." She spoke and Oliver knew she was referring to the incident that occurred the last time when Quentin caught him. He gulped, remembering the threat that still lingered in front of him, "Outside the window!"_

"_What?" Oliver didn't have the time to process as Laurel shoved him towards the window, which was really small now that Oliver noticed it. It reached his mid-torso. He was brutally shoved and he was about to glare at her when the footsteps drew closer. He held on to the sidewalls and jumped, stepping on to the parapet._

_He didn't anticipate that it would be so high._

_Okay, maybe he did know it would be high. But his brain had literally stopped functioning for that split second. He looked down, the window closing with a jerk and he knew Lance was inside his daughter's room._

"_The things I do for you Laurel," He muttered to himself, leaning against the wall, beside the now closed window. "You better make up for this." He said, as he walked across the rather narrow parapet, trying to figure out how to get down. He moved his hand against the white wall for support, catching a glimpse down again. _

_His eye caught something._

_The shiny diamond bracelet that Laurel wore hung off his sleeve and he pulled it off, eyeing it warily. _

_Someone else was doing that too._

"_Thief!" The sound wasn't that loud, but considering he was on the parapet, it did seem to burst his ears. His eyes looked around, suddenly realising the word._

"_Thief!" And then he looked at her. _

_She stood on the window that was just beside Laurel, on the other side however. While Oliver chose to walk towards the right, the girl had her face peeking out from the left side. "Me?" It was a sudden realisation that he probably did look like a thief._

_He was outside a window, holding a bracelet. _

"_Oh no no," He spoke, trying to talk to the girl who he wasn't able to see very clearly. Partially due to the blonde hair curtain and due to the rather dark night. "Thief!" Oliver's eyebrows spiked up as he tucked the bracelet in his back pocket, "Thief!" She was referring to him._

_Uhuh, she was about to get him in trouble. _

_Without thinking he started walking towards her. If Lance had heard her, he was sure that he had a one way trip to prison, "No!" He spoke instinctively and the girl backed in, promptly trying to shut the window. _

_Oliver luckily reached in time, holding the panes of the window in place. He had to make her quiet and he was three stories above ground. At this point, this girl was his only hope. The girl jerked hardly and Oliver looked at her. _

_Her blonde hair cascaded down in curls and her face was makeup free. That was the first thing that Oliver noticed. Being a 'playboy' as Thea eloquently quoted him to be, he had been with his fair share of girls. And nothing went unnoticed by his eyes. It was a second later she screamed again and one side of the window snapped shut and Oliver blanched, reaching for the other side, "Stop!"_

_Her eyes widened and Oliver finally realised they were deep pools of blue, "Let go! There is a police officer right next door!" She shouted at the top of her voice, hoping somehow he would hear her. Oliver groaned before pushing his palm against her lips, successfully silencing her._

"_You girls shout too much." Her eyes widened as Oliver tried to control his laughter. Even in this situation, something about her made him feel comfort. She was...homely and it gave him a sense of joy. "I am going to let go, okay?" He spoke softly, moving his feet closer to the window, "I am not a thief. I want you to listen to me." He ended and the girl nodded vigorously._

"_Liar," He smirked at her and the girls' eyebrows furrowed, "Don't scream." And he could see the conflict that was clearly visible in her eyes. The girl nodded and Oliver finally let go of her._

_And then she screamed._

_Now, Oliver didn't see that coming. His feet moved and his body shook with surprise. The single thing lead to him being shaken a little and Oliver lost his balance. He was about to fall when she caught him._

_Her hand reached forward to steady him and suddenly Oliver was jerked inside. He fell on the top of her both colliding with the floor with a force and he could see the girls' face recoil in pain as her head hit the rather hard floor. _

_And then she looked up. Now, Oliver never believed in fairy tales but this wasn't something he had experienced before. Is this usually how people meet? "Are you okay?" He spoke softly and the girls' head tilted towards one side momentarily as if analysing him. Oliver shot her a cocky smirk as if well aware of the fact that she was checking him out. Her and his chest were touching and as he watched her eyes widen, he realised how beautiful they really were. _

_This girl was gorgeous._

_Unfortunately, he didn't have the time to contemplate the situation further._

_With a jerk she pushed him off her and it suddenly dawned on Oliver where he was. He didn't have the time to scrutinise his surroundings. The girl backed away towards the kitchen, hugging the shrug that covered her body. She scrambled towards the open kitchen and reached for a pan._

_Oliver tried to control his laughter as he got up, "Get out of here!" She spoke, her hands raised up in the air-the frying pan being waved as if it was a weapon, "I will not spare you!"_

_Oliver just stood at one end, laughing and the girl narrowed her eyes dangerously. "I swear to God I will scream and there is a detective who lives right next door." She spoke, "And it will hurt too." She said, trying to be menacing. _

"_You don't think I am a thief." Oliver declared simply and the girl frowned, "I saw you on the parapet with a friggin diamond bracelet in your hand."_

"_You don't think I am a thief." He spoke again, "There is a phone within your reach, you could have screamed more by now. But you didn't." He pointed out, "You don't think I am a thief."_

"_What?" She blubbered, biting her pale lip. "I know what I saw." She spoke, flinging the pan in his direction and Oliver moved, clearly not expecting that. "Are you crazy?!" He tried to shout as the girl did what exactly he was afraid of._

_She reached for the phone that was on the slab._

_And Oliver blinked before moving, "Don't! I am Oliver Queen!" He stated, wondering why he didn't say that before. He stood right in front of the girl who now had hid the phone right behind her back._

_The girl scoffed, "Yeah, I am Kate Middleton. Listen Mr. Thief? Is that okay with you..does it offend you? But then again, why should I care? There is a thief in my apartment and I might die. Actually you just might murder me for babbling. Please don't murder me for babbling."_

_Oliver grinned, an amused smile on his lips. He was about to retort back when a sudden thump echoed and he found his eyes closing. The girl bit her lip, her pupils wide as she held the frying pan that she had just hit him with. "I have two frying pans," That is the last thing he heard before his head lolled and he found himself falling on her._

…

Oliver Queen woke up from his sleep with a jerk. His hands moved across the bed, his pupils still a tad bit dilated yet his mind now functioning well.

He groaned, moving sideways burying his face in the plush silk pillow.

He was dreaming about her again.

**xxx**

Ray Palmer leaned against his balcony. He stared right ahead, gazing at the night sky. Well, almost night sky. The sky was blue-violet, showing various colours. On usual occasions he would be dining with his wife outside, trying to enjoy the calm weather. But today's day had just been so hectic.

"Do you think we are doing the right thing?" It was his wife who spoke. She came and stood right beside him. Her hair was in a tight bun, a few brown strands escaping and highlighting her heart shaped face. Her brown eyes met his as she spoke, "Ray, we're sending her back there."

"For her own good, Court. Both of us know she is destined for better things and she needs to get over this fear too. Robert giving away thirty five percent and making her the CEO isn't a joke. He trusted her. I want to respect him, I want to respect _her._" He paused, "It is for her own benefit, but if she wants to back off-I'll happily agree to that too."

"But-"

"She has to stop being afraid. She can't live this way. She needs closure. She hasn't even seen _him _once." He spoke and his wife sighed. She knew a part of him wanted the best for him professionally and personally.

"When did the lawyer say to call?"

"Tomorrow morning. Apparently, it needs to be forwarded to the board of directors so they are prepared. If Felicity needs more time, I'll put a request forward." Courtney sighed, leaning her head against his arm, "I know why you want it Ray, but-"

"That bastard won't be destroying her, Court. She isn't weak. We'll be there. I've almost lost her once, it won't be happening again."

…

Felicity sighed as she stared at the beautiful scenery right in front of her. The Central Park was indeed very beautiful, the flowers blooming of in different directions-soft dew drops resting on them. A gradient of colours appearing before her.

Seemed like she was the only dull thing in there. Usually, when people needed to think they preferred some place quiet but it was something about the sounds of a child's laughter that warmed her heart and made her feel better. This place provided her that.

"Hey," She didn't have the time to think further, her reverie being interrupted by Joe West. Felicity looked up and shot him a forced smile that she knew he would see past.

It was weird how when she had lost one family, she had gained another. Never had she thought in an unknown city she would receive so much of love and respect. I made her swell with delight but now, she couldn't even acknowledge that.

Old relationships had a way of reopening old wounds.

"I heard the news," He said softly, sitting beside her on the bench. A sudden gust of air hit them and Felicity pulled her blue coat closer to herself, moving her fingers to push her glasses against her nose, "Which one?" She said dryly and Joe shot her soft smile.

It wasn't pity. That was the first thing she noticed. No one among them had shown her pity, which was something she was grateful for. All did she see was comfort radiating of them. A small message that said they were here for her, which honestly warmed her heart.

Joe laughed lightly and Felicity found her lips curling up. "Why is everyone visiting me, today? What is this, Smoak meet?" She tried to be funny, trying to distract her mind. "We just want to be there for you." He said and her head leaned down.

She could feel the tears collecting in her eyes and God, did she hate it. She didn't want to be weak, she wasn't _weak. _"Of course you are not weak, Felicity. Now is the chance to show them."

Felicity blubbered, realising she had spoken rather than _just _thinking. "I don't know what to do," She admitted it to him.

Past can be painful and she knew at some point of time she had to face it. But was she ready to do so?

"I just-"The tears finally fell and Joe pulled her, "Come here." His voice was soft and soothing, "We just want the best for you Felicity."

"I just-I just don't know if I'll be able to face him. This is so weird because rather than running a billionaire's company, I am more afraid of running it with him." She spoke, "You know how to run a company, Felicity. You and Palmer have been running it for years and as for facing him, you said it yourself. You are strong. He-They are your past and you have let go of it." He said and Felicity nodded, "Running away from your difficulties, only make it bigger. And you would have to face it at some point." He said, "Don't you want to see _him_?"

"I don't have the strength." She said before pulling herself off him. She looked up, taking her glasses out and then rubbing her eyes with her palms. She wiped off the water from the glass with the hem of her coat.

"You were given this life because you were strong enough to live it." He declared and Felicity's mind wondered, "If you would have left something like this to Iris, would you have want her to do it?"

Joe's teeth flashed as he tipped his hat a little, "I would have made all the decisions thinking about my children, Felicity. I would have want her to do it, but ultimately it all comes down to her."

"Listen to others, Felicity. But do what your heart says." He gave off his final verdict before standing up. He leaned down, kissing her head and Felicity's eyes closed before she sighed, "You know where to find me." He smiled and Felicity looked up and nodded, "Thank you."

"Anytime." His response was short of much words but it summed up his emotion.

Felicity stood up, taking off her glasses. She placed her palms on her eyes and took a deep breath.

_Listen to others Felicity, but do what your heart says._

_You were given this life because you were strong enough to live it._

She had a decision to make.

**xxx**

**Word Count : 4651**

**Whoosh, that was long. Honestly, I didn't think it'll be this long. Like, this is 10 MS-Word pages. Anyways, I was happy writing it. So it wasn't that much of a problem.**

**So, Thea/Roy would be the couple in this story. They won by a pretty large margin. Haha :p**

**New thing,**

**Snowbarry or WestAllen? I know in this story it is westallen but when I watch the Flash, I'm like caught in between the two.**

**So, who do you ship?**

**MAIN THING :**

**This is coming off quite late, right? But did you like the chapter. Finally a glimpse of their past. **

**The dream was from Oliver's point of view, so I couldn't have written further. But do read the next chapter for more stuff**

**Thank you so so much for this amazing support :D**

**Signing out, **

**Fanfics4you**


	4. Chapter Three : Home Sweet Home

**Hey, how's everyone? So, I have a good news. My exams are over..wohoo! I have one on 30****th**** Dec but that I suppose is pretty far off at the moment.**

**Finally though. I am free :D**

**So, is anyone alive out there after 3x09. I mean holy mackerel! I know Oliver will come back but his death was just so tragic and his last freaking thought being felicity smoak-**

***Cries in a corner* "Come back." **

**And I am so sure that we will hear the line, "I didn't get to say it back." From Felicity and that just breaks my heart in two.**

**My poor baby :/**

**But the feels though! I mean-olicity endgame, bitches.**

**Is it over?**

**Yup.**

**Still here?**

**Yup.**

***Throws forehead kiss pics.***

**PS Who all saw the light hitting Oliver when he thought of Felicity? I swear these writers.**

**/**

**I wanted to thank each and everyone one of you for reviews and I would have wrote thank yous too! It's just that I am out of time. I have to go and study and it's like two am here and I am pretty sure I am not allowed to be on the laptop at this point of time.**

**I WOULD SAY THANK TO YOU ALL! LIKE EIGHTY TWO! SHIT GUYS, I LOVE YOU! THANK THANK THANK YOU! *SENDS FLYING KISSES* **

**LOVE YOU ALL!**

**/ ALSO, PLEASE IGNORE THE TYPOS AT THIS POINT. I HAVEN'T PROOF READ IT. LIKE I SAID IT'S LATE. HOPE YOU LIKE IT. WILL SEE TO IT SOON :D**

**ANYONE UP FOR BETAEING?**

**THANK YOU XX **

**ALL ABOARD?**

**HERE WE GO.**

**WORD COUNT : 5458 (14 WORD PAGES) [ IT'S GETTING BIGGER..EEP!]**

**Disclaimer : I don't own anything but the plot.**

_**Best way to not get your heart broken,**_

_**Is to pretend you don't have one – Charlie Sheen.**_

**Chapter Three : Home Sweet Home**

Felicity took a deep breath as she rested her head against the cold window. It had been two hectic days and the lack of sleep wasn't helping her much. She mentally thanked her beauty gods for the creation of concealer but unfortunately, they couldn't conceal the fatigue that flashed through her eyes.

Slight movement jolted her from her light sleep as she turned. Courtney flashed her a sheepish smile as she tried to get comfortable in the airplane seat. Felicity shook her head lightly, shrugging it off. "Sleep," Courtney mumbled to her friend who shot her a thankful smile before resuming her previous position.

Airplane.

A plane that led them straight to Starling City. Felicity still couldn't believe she was getting ahead with it. She wasn't just attending the funeral, she was willing to stay there. To actually go ahead and fulfil Robert Queen's last wish.

Frankly, Felicity had wanted to do what the eldest Queen had wanted her to do. But the lingering factor that laid in between her and his dreams were his family, _her _former family. She knew the right choice but she just had a hard time accepting, making it. Working as CEO was something she was willing to do for the only father figure in her life, but willing to work with him.

She didn't even want to see him.

There was a time Felicity had loved him deeply but now she loathed him. Loathe, it was a word that probably has a heavier meaning than the word hate itself. Felicity never considered herself to be the person who was capable of loathe but as the saying goes, the person who can love you the most is capable of hating you the most as well.

A small part of Felicity was still in denial. A pat she was refusing to acknowledge no matter what. Over the past three years she had created this wall, a wall she wasn't letting anyone get through. A part of her afraid that she might turn vulnerable again in front of him. They was no one to guide her now too. She wasn't stupid. Robert Queen loved the two of them together and this might as well be his last effort to get them together.

She was afraid that just might happen. Love was something in life that Felicity didn't expect but then when it hit her she was the happiest girl on this planet. Life was something she didn't expect either. She knew it wasn't working out between the two-but it was him who gave the ultimatum. She was willing to fight.

It was weird, how he was willing to fight for everything but her.

Yet, she was vulnerable when it came to him. Afraid she might get out of that small world she had created for herself, she had secured for herself. Her fingers curled around the seat as she thought about the upcoming event.

Felicity Smoak wasn't a weak woman. But Felicity Queen had always been a love sick fool and now she was buried somewhere deep inside. She was afraid that might just make an appearance once again.

And most of all, she was afraid of seeing _him. _They are certain things in life you can't get past and they are some things you just don't want to get past, afraid that letting go of it would be an insult to the memory, an insult to him.

Ah, life simply sucks.

"Stop thinking so much," Ray spoke and Felicity snapped her eyes open, one eyebrow rising up. "I am not thinking." She declared looking past Courtney who was sitting in between the two.

She was _musing._

"You have the frown." Ray declared and Felicity laughed lightly. Ray narrowed his eyes, creases appearing on his forehead. "Nope, I didn't." Felicity retorted, somehow grateful for the distraction.

"You did-"

"You two are acting like kids," Courtney spoke, her head leaning against on the head rest, her eyes snapped open revealing brown irises, "Your _husband_ is acting like a kid."

Courtney opened her mouth to talk when the comms went off prompting that they were just about to land in Starling City. She whacked her husband in one single second who looked at her as if she had just grown two heads, "I told you to go via train. We reached in an hour! I-all of us needed some sleep," She spoke rationally as Ray rolled his eyes, "We'll get enough sleep in the hotel room." He spoke, "You and me both know the first thing you do is go look for a Jacuzzi and when you do find one, you sleep in it!"

Felicity tried to control the laughter that was ready to escape her lips any second. The Palmer couple shared a knowing look, small victorious smiles gracing their faces. However, it was short lived when the wheels of the vehicle hit the runway and Felicity closed her eyes, her hands tightening on the seats.

Exactly thirty seven seconds later, she took a deep breath.

She was here.

…

Courtney took a right turn after telling Felicity that she needed to go to the Ladies room. She didn't expect her to come and that is exactly what happened. Felicity was nervous, it was totally obvious and at this point she wanted some time alone.

She saw her husband moving towards them, their luggage being carried by him. In usual situation, he might as well have the cart but right now he didn't need one. They had just brought a few days clothes. Rather than a day, they were ready to stay for a few, allowing Felicity to settle in for a little while. She knew it would be tough and they were willing to stay in here. She considered the option of a moving truck being loaded with Felicity's goods so that she can shift, but Felicity refused to idea-claiming it was too early. She just needed to settle first. To get accustomed that she needed to stay here for quite a while.

A while.

After long persuasion and contemplating her decisions, Felicity had come to a decision which Courtney agreed and respected deeply. She indeed had made the right choice. Felicity had agreed to stay in Starling City and to be the CEO of Queen Consolidated. She was proud of her. She had chosen to put her past behind and actually fulfil Robert's last wishes.

Felicity had made it clear that she would stay in Starling city only for a few months though. Courtney knew she wanted to escape this place as soon as possible and she was okay with it. Felicity had agreed to be the CEO, helping it reach success and finally a stable position before handing it over to Oliver.

She gets her experience and Robert's last wish would come true.

Courtney sighed as she stared at her husband and Felicity. She won't lie. Initially, she had felt threatened by Felicity. In the end, who wouldn't? But then she met her and she realised that there was no one who was happier that Felicity when it came to Ray's happiness. They were like best friends-in one sense, siblings. And she was grateful for meeting her. At this point, she was one of her best friends. Five years ago, she had met one of her best friends and her soulmate-and she couldn't be more grateful for it. She knew Felicity needed some time alone and Ray could get through her.

She should be envious in one sense but she wasn't. She knew about their relationship and she had seen Felicity with Oliver. She was just in the initial stages of her relationship with Ray then and had caught herself wishing for a relationship like that. She never officially met Oliver. He might not even know who she was but she had seen the couple from far off, had seen Felicity talking about him and they couldn't be more in love. If she had any doubt left about Felicity and Ray, it was all washed away.

And now she was here back in Starling City.

Apparently to fulfil Robert's last wishes.

She chuckled to herself, if they only knew what his wishes were. Maybe Ray can't see it, being the overprotective best friend, maybe others can't see it but Courtney knew. Fate is amazing, two people who are meant to be would always find their way back. She knew them, she had seen their love-and she disliked Oliver for what had gone through them but she still believed that it was one big misunderstanding. The guy worshipped the ground she walked on and then, suddenly it was all gone. A clap resonates because of two hands and it was misunderstandings on both their parts. She had seen Felicity being miserable and believed that Oliver was the same.

Belief.

It was what run the world. She really hoped she wasn't wrong about Oliver. She really hoped Robert's last wish came true.

She really hoped they would find their way back to each other.

…

Ray neared Felicity as he picked up the bag, hanging it off his shoulder. He let out a small grunt as he hung it and Felicity's eyebrow rose up, "Someone is getting old."

"FYI," Ray sounded amused, "I am just two years older than you." And Felicity laughed, "Keyword being older." Ray narrowed his eyes before smiling lightly, happy to see her happy.

Felicity's eyes dropped towards the watch she was wearing, the hands of it moving to show that it was six pm in the evening. The funeral was eleven am tomorrow which meant Felicity had enough time to catch a good sleep.

If she could sleep.

"So, ready for this?" Ray snapped her out of her reverie. He wasn't tapping his feet which was apparently his habit to show impatience and Felicity's mind ran a thousand miles, "She deliberately left you with me, didn't she?"

Ray grinned, "Took you long enough to find out. You are losing your charm, Fee." He said and Felicity just shook her head, leaning on her left leg. In normal situations, she would have loved to sit. But after sitting for one continuous hour, she was simply tired of sitting and honestly her ass was numb and sweaty.

Yuck.

"Say your piece Ray," She spoke simply, "Don't wait for me." She added.

Ray sighed. He bit his lip before opening his mouth, "You okay?" His voice was soft and Felicity hummed, "It's just a few months, Ray. I'll be fine." She reassured him and suddenly Ray felt like the roles had been switched. He expected her to be somewhat nervous right now, but she again proved that she was strong.

That was what Ray something had always acknowledged about. They are moments where Felicity Smoak could break down and cry like a baby, moments where she will feel vulnerable but in the end, she stood strong. She was a women who would do anything for the ones they love and has the strength to endure anything in this world.

"I am proud of you, you know?" He said casually, flinging his arm across her shoulder and Felicity grinned, "I know you are." She said and Ray was grateful the smile wasn't forced.

"Missed me?" Courtney spoke as she joined the duo. "Nope," Ray answered, laughing lightly as his wife whacked his arm. He pulled away from Felicity as he said, "Come on, I asked the hotel people to pick us up from Gate number five,"

The girls looked at each other before Courtney started walking off.

"Starling City," The blonde whispered as she moved behind her own trolley, unlike Ray she chose to put her stuff on a movable cart. Her hands clenched tightly around the steel rod, "Here we go."

…

"Where the hell is she?" Oliver whispered to himself as he stood outside the airport. Oliver frowned, maybe he was at the wrong place? He looked up again-his eyes flickering to the sign that said gate number five.

His hands clenched on the white board that said her name. He looked around, his eyes trying to catch every oncoming passenger.

"Oliver."

He froze as he heard her voice. His head moved towards the right trying to catch the source of the voice. He breathed a sigh of relief as he saw the female trot towards him, "Grammy."

The woman gave him a warm smile as she moved forward and hugged the guy. Oliver leaned downwards, hugging her tightly. She gave him a warm hug, rubbing his back and Oliver was suddenly transferred back to his childhood. He leaned in her embrace and suddenly, his eyes closed. He had cried for his father, he had and he had vowed he'd remain strong too.

But now, in her embrace he just wanted to bawl like a child who had lost his father. "Shh," His grandmother whispered and her voice was on the verge of breaking. Oliver was forgetting that she had lost her son too. And he regretted not informing her earlier. They wanted to talk to her in person-losing a child is painful. But before they could actually think about it, the news had been released.

But she understood.

His grandmother always understood. She was one of the best women Oliver knew of and she was heart-warming and in every sense, beautiful. She lived in a small farm house in Starling City only, secluded in one corner. She had been off to London when the demise happened, helping a friend with her granddaughter's marriage when the news reached her. Oliver had expected her to scream at Moira or at him for that matter for hiding the truth and she did. She screamed that she wasn't able to say her goodbyes, to visit her son one last time. It had been an awful three days where she refused to talk to any of them before she reached a conclusion, whispering that she understood their point of view. If she had been there-she would have done the same. His death was a surprise. It was a cardiac arrest that made people precautionary about his health, not leading to his demise. They didn't want her to worry but she made them realise it was wrong too, she is a mother after all. But she understood and she was ready to play the motherly role despite everything that she had endured herself. First she lost her husband and then her son but yet, here she was looking out for others.

She was a grandmother.

She pulled away and Oliver could see traces of tears in her brown eyes. Her hair was pure white and her skin was crinkled but yet it seemed to enhance her personality rather than making it fade away. "I'm here." She whispered softly and he nodded, "I'm glad." He said with a small smile.

He thought momentarily before speaking, "I'm sorry." He said and her eyes conflicted before she shook her head, "We'll talk at home, okay? Now take me to the castle!" She said and Oliver grinned. "The car is right there," He said as Diggle who was standing near the vehicle started walking towards them. Oliver shot him a smile and moved his palm, gesturing him to stop. "Go," He told his Grammy, "I'll be right there." He said, reaching for her luggage. He knew John was about to help him with the luggage and he didn't like that fact-he was never a worker, always a friend and he wasn't obligated to this. It was his job, yes-but Oliver hated making him do things that landed their friendship in an uncomfortable position. They were equals, nothing more-nothing less. Besides, he was the head of security-he didn't need to be with Oliver, he just wanted to be there and Oliver wouldn't demean it for him.

"Fee!" Oliver's head turned as his eyebrows hiked up. He narrowed his eyes, his heart thudding-was it-

"Oliver!" Oliver's head whipped as Diggle called him. He shot him his trademark look and Oliver sighed. He clutched the bag hanging of his shoulder and gripped the handle on the other bag, ready to drag it across the street when his eyes unknowingly flickered towards the source of the voice.

He could see a brunette pushing a woman inside the car. Small blonde tendrils of the said woman were visible and Oliver shook his head. She being here wasn't possible-someone would have told him.

He would have known.

"Coming!"

…

Felicity immediately pushed past Courtney, her head lolling out. Her eyes scrunched behind the spectacles as she looked towards her right, "Oliver?" She found herself mumbling and she would have had the time to contemplate, only she was shoved by Courtney who was telling her to get off her. She moved inside, mumbling a quiet apology before her eyes moved outside the window, "He can't be here."

"You okay?" Courtney asked her and she nodded, "Just tired, I guess." Courtney shot her a smile before reaching for her bag that hung off her shoulder, "Here." She said and Felicity looked down, her eyes catching the fortune cookie that she was offering, "I borrowed some from the airport."

"_Stole."_ Ray mumbled from the front seat and Courtney flung two in his direction which hit him directly in the face, "They were tempting and the shopkeeper gave them to me willingly!"

"Did you flirt with them?" And Felicity tried to contain her smirk when she heard the jealous tinge in his tone. Courtney shot her a look and it was clear she had won the battle, "I have a weakness for sweet things."

"You have a weakness for everything-seriously, Court-"

Felicity chose to ignore the banter as the car started moving-breaking to cookie in two she pulled out the strip of paper.

Shrugging off the biscuit crumbs that covered the strip, she narrowed her eyes to read the small black text.

"_You'll meet your soul mate soon. "_

Felicity blinked; talk about clichés. She won't admit that her thoughts flickered back to Oliver. No, his chapter was closed. He won't be creeping back in her life.

Not now.

Not ever.

**xxx**

Sleep was a bitch.

That was the conclusion that Felicity had reached at. Her eyes moved, looking at the ceiling that she was sure she knew very well. She remembered when she was a kid-her mother made her chant numbers from one to hundred and instead she chanted the names of all the hardwares she was aware. Yup, she was an A-class nerd, yet the formula did work. She found herself sleeping by the time she reached external peripheral devices. But yet, over here nothing worked.

He occupied her thoughts.

Which made Felicity hate him more. Why the hell was she so vulnerable to him? She made one last attempt at sleeping, knowing she needed energy to face everyone tomorrow but to no avail. Her sigh echoed across the large room and she looked at the large television that was before her.

She had made up her mind.

She would search through the recordings like she always does and hopefully come across a good film. Her eyes skidded towards the white menu card before she picked it up. She sighed and looked for her favourite ice cream.

Aha, mint chocolate chip!

Her blue coloured nails skidded across the white phone before she was hit with reality. The nail pain was worn off, showing off the clear nails and it seemed like Felicity had a stroke.

What was she doing?

A person she had considered like a father had died. It was like _him. _She was surprised how come she didn't compare the two in her head but now that she did, her heart broke in two. People in her life were meant to go away, weren't they?

He too had left her.

She curled herself in a small ball. No one would have guessed that a second ago, she was okay. This is what happens with all the girls, right?

Overthinking.

Her mind moved at a superfast speed and her heart hurt. How can she forget him that easily? Wasn't he memorable enough? He was the only father figure she ever had. He was the one who danced with her at the wedding when she felt sad for not having a father daughter dance. He called her to check on her. He could have supported his son-but he supported her.

He even encouraged her to talk to him.

This was one thing he was wrong at though. It could _never _work out between the two. Small tears leaked down her cheeks as she leaned her head against her knees, her cheeks wet and blotchy. She tried to as quiet as possible, hoping that Ray and Courtney hadn't heard her. They needed some time alone. She closed her eyes, trying to block everything.

Trying to block him.

Now that she thought about it, it would be the last time she will get to see her dad. Would he kick her off? Because Felicity sure as hell won't let Oliver do anything to her. She was here to fulfil her dad's last wish and she would make sure it happens-even if it meant going against him.

She hoped the Queen family won't cause her any problem. She moved her head, wiping her hands across her cheeks. Her eyes landed on the magazines that was resting on the other side table. She wondered how her gaze didn't land up there before.

He was on the cover.

So was Robert Queen.

The lines read, "The world says goodbye to a Legend."

That was all he was-a legend.

They say grief has various stages. The first one being denial and isolation. Something inside of you breaks every time you think of that one person who left you. It may be your husband or your father. You couldn't help but feel your heart throb in pain when you think about them. And then comes in-

Anger.

Felicity had accepted that Oliver had left her but now her dad was gone and she found herself in the same position she was in three years ago. Only crying for her father instead of the love of her life.

Love of her life.

She wanted to laugh.

In anger, she flung the magazine hard-it landing on the floor with thump. He was gone. Her father was gone.

And his asshole of a son is someone she would have to meet tomorrow.

She gritted her teeth, tears leaking off her cheeks, "I hate him." She murmured, "Why me?" She found herself questioning, her eyes back to the ceiling as if trying to talk to God.

Why me?

Isn't that the question everyone asks? Why did this happen to her but not anyone else? Why is it that she gets to face the wrath of the Queen family and she didn't even do anything-there are always questions roaming in everyone's head. She found herself in the same crossroads she was in three years ago.

But she was done.

She would be damn if she let anything break her again. In order to not to get your heart broken-it is better to reveal it. She wouldn't let him win.

She wouldn't let anyone break her. She was done being a mess. She had shaped a life for herself in three years. A life her father would have been proud of. Was proud of and she wouldn't lose it. She would fulfil her father's last wishes and stand firm.

She wouldn't let him win.

Not this time.

The blonde curled up in her bed further, small sobs turning into whimpers as she tried to control it. She was done being weak. Her hand wiped away the tears as she laid on her bed, closing her eyes.

Hoping for a good sleep.

Hoping for some strength.

The magazine laid on the carpeted floor. The sharp grey colour background contrasting with the white carpet that covered the floor. Robert Queen was etched across the cover, sitting on a chair like the king he is. Behind him stood Oliver Queen who much like his father was dressed in a black suit, his hand resting on his shoulder. The picture depicting money, power and their relationship.

The Queens.

The most influential family in Starling City.

**xxx**

_**Seven years ago.**_

_The Queens._

_The most influential family of Starling City._

_Oliver Queen, her ass._

_She wanted to scoff when he told her that. Seriously, couldn't people come up with good names? Like anyone would believe him. He was a thief. Honestly, Felicity would have let go of him if he had not jumped into her house. She was scared shitless when that happened._

_Her eyes eyed him._

_And attracted too. Now Felicity wanted to whack herself in the head. Was she seriously having a stroke of Stockholm's syndrome? What is this-some sort of fairy tale?_

_Her mind was moving tangentially again. She bit her lip, finally looking at the man who was lying on her kitchen floor._

_Holy shit, there was man lying on her kitchen floor._

_She moved her leg, hitting him in the bicep with it-albeit lightly. On getting no response, she breathed a sigh of relief. Now maybe she should try and talk to her neighbours. One of them happens to be a detective too._

_She would be creepy though, since she knew beforehand he was a detective._

_Plus, she was sure she was going to freak them out. Hey, hello. I am your new neighbour and I have a thief who is unconscious in my apartment. _

_Wait, wait-backtrack._

_He was unconscious only, right? What if he was dead? She eyed him carefully-trying to avoid the lining on his shirt that was exposed due to his front torso being in contact with the cold floor. His chest heaved lightly._

_Oh, so he was alive. _

_Felicity took a deep breath._

_She clutched her shrug, ready to go outside and consequently lead her social life to a drain. She bet Ray would laugh at her now. Well, scream at her first for not running away from a thief would definitely be first though._

_She tried to open her door but something on the doorstep caught her eye. Throughout the day she had been busy analysing her new apartment that she didn't realise that her newspaper was lying in a mess beside the door. It was her first day at Queen Consolidated to top it all, plus she will meet Robert Queen-talk about nerves._

_It gets to her, yeah._

_She moved trying to put the paper away when she read the headline._

"_The Queen and the Merlyn merger. The two industries at its rise."_

_Her eyes landed on the two family pictures, trying to capture the look of her new boss. She looked at the Queen family before she shoved the paper away, ready to ask her neighbours for help._

_When-_

_Her eyes widened, pulling the paper towards her again._

_Oliver Queen._

_He was Oliver Queen. The guy who happened to be in the headlines of Starling City was in her apartment, "Uhoh." She mumbled, her eyes full blown as if small planets popping out._

_There goes her career._

_Thank you for nothing, MIT._

**xxx**

_When he woke up, Felicity was nervous. Who wouldn't be? She moved the glass of water that she placed for him on the side table. _

_Yup, he was in her bed._

_She cringed when she thought of that._

"_What?"_

_Okay, maybe she had spoken it out too._

"_You're awake." She chose to avoid the topic, knowing she would land herself in a deeper hole and besides, his voice was hoarse as he clutched his head. He was hurt._

_A small part of Felicity was proud too. She can defend herself now that she thought about it._

_His hand took away the glass that she held. She placed her finger at the base as Oliver gulped down the liquid. On drinking half the liquid, he hit his head against the pillow. "Where am I?"_

_Great. She gulped. Did he lose his memory? Oh hell-_

"_You!" His voice was sharp._

_Well, he clearly hadn't lost his memory._

"_I'm sorry!" She spoke instantly, "I thought you were a thief but you are well..Oliver Queen." The last part came out a whisper._

"_I told you! You hit me with a frying pan!" He spoke. Felicity expected him to be harsh, but ironically he wasn't. Weren't rich people supposed to be rude? _

_Not that she was complaining._

"_I know, I am sorry!" She pleaded, trying not to disclose that because of him her career was in jeopardy._

_Or maybe he could use his power to chuck her out of the city._

"_I won't do anything like that," He said, his voice firm and Felicity looked at him, realising she had spoken her word out loud. He was now leaning against the bed, cringing again and again from the pain._

_Felicity wandered off to get a cold pack of peas. She bit her lip as she thought about him. Oliver Queen or not. He was a stranger and yet, she didn't have a problem with him inside her house._

_Well, to be fair-it was his fault._

_She offered him an ice pack before resuming her position beside him. "What were you doing outside?" She asked, her eyebrow risen up and Oliver shot her an annoyed look, "My girlfriend's father who happens to be the detective you were talking about had arrived home. She kicked me out through the window. It was her bracelet you saw."_

"_Oh."_

_So much vocabulary for a scholarship student though._

"_Oh? You hit my friggin head!"_

_Felicity suddenly regained her voice, "You were in a questionable state! Beside, why did you run towards me?"_

"_Because you were screaming so loudly and I was three storeys above, you were my only hope."_

_Felicity sighed, breaking the small silence, "Listen, I'm sorry, okay? I shouldn't have hit you with a frying pan."_

"_It's alright." Oliver clarified, "It was my fault. You know..with the bracelet and hand," He paused, "No one would have believed me. Besides, I should be thanking you for not calling the police. Wait-how did you know that I am Oliver Queen?"_

_Felicity brought the newspaper in front of her, "This." She told, showing him the picture, "I had almost gone to meet the detective. I swear my social life would have ended right there." She laughed before putting the newspaper down._

"_Really? I was pretty sure my life would have ended right there." Oliver retorted, "He hates my guts."_

"_Are you that bad?" Felicity's eyebrow rose and Oliver rolled his eyes, "My past track record hasn't been the best."_

"_Let me guess, drunk and cops?" She mused and Oliver looked at her questioningly, "How did you know?"_

"_I have gone down the same route my friend." She laughed and Oliver chuckled._

_You are not from here, are you?"_

"_Nope, Las Vegas." She said, "I just knew a few things about your family, nothing special. Like how you are a family of four and practically the king of Starling City which sound funny when you think about it because you are Queens who are Kings. Not that a king is superior to a Queen. I mean in your case there is no king so you don't have-"_

_He laughed._

_Oliver whole heartedly laughed and Felicity's eyebrow quirked before she giggled too. His teeth was on show and he chuckled deeply, completely amused yet stunned by this girl. His pain was forgotten as he talked to her. She was...genuine._

_A second later, awkward silence ensued, Oliver being lost in thoughts. Should she say something? Felicity had always hated silence though it was better than her babbling incoherent stuff._

"_Thanks," And Felicity looked surprised as Oliver continued, "You know for everything." He said and Felicity smiled softly, "I am glad you didn't call the police."_

"_So am I," She laughed, "Although I would have preferred this being cleared earlier. I wouldn't have to drag you here. You are really heavy," She laughed before she turned her head, "Is that really all muscle?"_

_Oliver laughed. This girl was refreshing. He should have been angry, well at least a tad bit-but he wasn't. In normal situations, girls would have tried to hog him by now and a small part of him knew he would have let them._

_But she didn't._

_Instead, she laughed with him. The only person he usually did that with was Thea or sometimes Laurel or Sara._

_Weird._

"_What is your name again?"_

_Her eyes twinkled as she smiled at him. Oliver tried hard not to grin back as her rosy cheeks puffed up while her lips curved, "Felicity Smoak."_

_Felicity Smoak._

_He sure as hell would remember this girl._

_xxx_

**SO THERE WE GO! YOU KNOW ABOUT THEIR FIRST MEET AND OLICITY REUNION SOON! LIKE IT? LOVE IT? HATE IT? REVIEW AND TELL!**

**WHAT ABOUT THE RAYLICITY TAKE?**

**AND OLICITY FIRST MEET?**

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**SO, I REALLY HOPE WE CAN REACH 100 REVIEWS NOW AND IF WE DO. I SWEAR I WOULD SEND A THANK YOU PM TO EVERYONE WHO HAS REVIEWED SINCE THE BEGINNING PLUS A SLIGHT PREVIEW OF THE OLICITY REUNION.**

**100 IS A BIG MARK AFTER ALL**

**I AM SORRY I WASN'T ABLE TO GIVE CREDITS TO EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU THIS TIME, I'LL PROMISE TO DO THAT IN THE NEXT CHAPTER **

**THANK YOU SO MUCH! :***

**I LOVE YOU ALL**

**SIGNING OUT,**

**FANFICS4YOU**


	5. Chapter Four : And it Begins

**So, how are you all? I hope you all are doing okay.**

**First update of 2015 :D**

**I am so sorry, I wanted to update but then my grandfather died :/**

**And to make matter worse, something is friggin wrong with my word software. It copies all the stuff by just typing shift. Imagine my surprise when all I want to enter is " but I get a six thousand word document, again.**

**So, back on track are we?**

**I did message people and I am thrilled by the response. Couldn't be more grateful.**

**I have a test on 29****th**** and then a six hour test on 1****st**** so no updates until then. Not that you guys expected anything due to my awesome update schedule.**

**Thank you for the support xx **

**I wasn't able to thank the guests but I love you! *throws videos of 2x23 kiss***

**DID ANY ONE SEE THE HAND GRAB?! AND THEN OLIVER'S HEAD IS A 90 AND FELICITY IS A 10..HITCH WOULD HAVE PROUD :')**

**All the people who have favourited(107-crossed hundred), followed(264-whoa)**

**-thank you so much!**

**Word Count : 6508**

**NEXT UPDATE : Feb 3 **

**Disclaimer : I don't own the characters just the plot. Oh and Courtney too!**

"_We act like we don't care._

_But on the inside, it hurts."_

**Chapter Four : And it begins.**

Oliver Queen stared at himself in the mirror.

In his short span of twenty nine years, he had seen a lot. Maybe not to others. Maybe to others he looked like a rich man who had everything at beck and call but that wasn't the case. He had seen problems within his own family-where he wasn't interested in anything related to the company. He was a complete frat boy, who wasn't sure what to do with life. He cheated, he lived the luxury life like he owned it and indeed he did.

Until _her._

It was weird how her not being her affected it too. He was pretty sure that she won't be coming down or else someone would have told him. A part of him was hopeful that she might come and he wanted to kick himself that despite everything that she had done to him-to _them¸ _he still wanted to see her. Which was not fair to Laurel. He made a mental note to take care of her and maybe a small smug part of himself wanted to show herthe life he had been leading. That he had moved on. And he had. He was sure what he was going through was just a conflict of emotions.

He loved Laurel.

He proposed to Laurel.

Okay, maybe the proposal had a bit of an off timing. But ever since they had started dating again-everyone had chewed his ear off that he had finally moved on so he bought a ring. Thinking that maybe that would be the ultimatum. Losing his father had brought back an old fear like he lost _him _and he didn't want to go through that pain again.

So he proposed.

And he could hear his father's voice in the back of his head that he made a mistake doing so.

He didn't know what to think of it.

His father had always loved her and he wanted to chuckle dryly, but then again-who didn't? But when she turned out to be backstabbing bitch-his father still supported her.

Which angered Oliver to no end.

To make matters worse-co-CEO? Really, dad? Was he that incapable? Hadn't he proved himself enough? Two CEOs will let this company rise. Oliver could have done it or maybe he could have asked Moira to join him.

But no.

Felicity Smoak.

He glared at his reflection, her name reeling in her mind. She made him feel guilty. That even after the death of his father-he was angry at him rather than crying his eyes out. Mind it, he had cried but at this point-all he saw was anger.

He always chose her.

He always encouraged her.

And to make matters worse,

She didn't even have the courtesy to reply. He was sure he would have heard from Jean by now.

"So much for being the perfect daughter," he scoffed to himself.

But as he stared at himself in the mirror he realised that even though he was angry at his father. He would do anything, anything to see him.

He was his father and sure they had their disputes but he loved him and he would do anything to see him.

Anything.

And he was gone.

He refused to acknowledge the part that said he would do anything to see her too.

**xxx**

Felicity took a deep breath as they neared the area. The funeral was taking place in the Queen Gardens and a sense of déjà vu hit her. Her eyes nearly glossed over before she shook her head. No, she had to stay strong.

A sudden halt made her realize that they had reached their destination. She swore her heart stopped as she stared at the mansion that once used to be her own. Popping the door open, she stepped out. A gust of wind hit her as her hair flew lightly. She took a deep breathe.

It was weird.

How did she dread going inside her house but how this castle was once her home. She probably was aware of every nook and corner of the said castle from the times she sneaked inside just to meet Oliver. This was her home once but post marriage, the newly wedded couple shifted to their own place before resuming their stay in the Queen Mansion yet again due to the circumstances.

She could feel her friends' gaze on her before she shrugged it off. She appreciated the concern but she didn't want to be a burden on them. Ray moved his hand that clasped the roses that they had bought. Felicity picked out one and held it close to herself as if it was shield.

"Hey," Ray nudged her and Felicity looked up, her blue eyes wide behind her glasses, "Conceal it, don't feel it." And Felicity mustered a giggled.

"You made him watch it?" She looked at Courtney and the brunette nodded before linking her arm with his, "Of course I did." She looked proud.

She could hear the sounds of people approaching that distracted her for a split second as she looked at the gigantic gate, "Now or never, yeah?" She spoke trying to sound funny but it was coming off as a dry chuckle. The trio started as Felicity muttered, "Conceal it. Don't feel it."

She couldn't believe that she was trusting Disney in this stuff.

Weren't they responsible for this mess?

Happy ending with a prince charming, yeah right.

**xxx**

Oliver stood near his father's coffin. Chairs were assembled right in front of it and the funeral was about to begin in a few minutes. Laurel stood beside him, her hand on his arm as she tried to showcase her support. For the first time he couldn't feel the ring piercing through his arm or maybe it was the second time and he liked it-

He'd wonder if that was a bad thing.

He looked at Tommy who had been a great support for the past week. They had been each other's rock. Over the past years-Robert was more of a father to him than Malcolm as he quoted eloquently and both were shaken by the loss.

Moira, Tommy and Thea stood on the other side while his grandmother sat in the front, roses clutched tightly in their hands as if preparing themselves for the worst.

A few seconds later, Oliver would think-maybe they were.

A nudge by his sister made him turn towards the gate, his eyes trying to locate what she was trying to show.

It approximately took him one second.

Felicity Smoak stood there beside John Diggle.

**xxx**

Felicity moved inside the gate, her heart thudding in her chest though she had been mentally preparing herself for anything.

"Well, if it isn't Felicity Smoak," The voice caught her off guard and she looked towards her right before blinking. "John?" Her voice reverberated and the man chuckled as he stared at her. Felicity moved forward and hugged him tightly.

It had been three years after all.

She remembered the last time she saw John-it was when she was at the airport, ready to bid her old life goodbye. He had been her rock post her relationship end with Oliver. One of the few people who supported her. John, Robert and Judith were the only ones. She couldn't help but grin lightly, despite the situation. It had been so long.

So long since they have seen each other in person. When Felicity bid her old life adieu she resolved to ignore everybody from that life which included him but after a year or so, they reconnected again and Felicity found herself kneading back the brother-sister relationship they had developed over the years. "Where is Lyla?" She asked and he all but pointed in her direction.

Felicity looked and gasped lightly, "Is that?" Her voice shook slightly as she stared at Lyla who was holding a three year old in her arms whose arms were flapping in various directions as she babbled to her mother.

Sara.

She remembered her. A small part of her throbbed in pain but she shrugged it off. Named after Lyla's grandmother, the child was once the apple of Felicity's eye. She didn't even get to watch her grow.

She remembered when she asked John for a picture and received one of a two year old who was eating a piece of cake-her birthday cake. She remembered thinking that she might as well be the cutest thing she had ever seen with her black curly hair and her full blown smile. She remembered her eyes filling with tears as she imagined _him _there too.

"She's grown so much," She stage whispered as John flashed her a small grin, "It pains me to know that she has grown that much."

She let out a breathy laugh. Looking this as his cue, Ray finally stepped in-"John Diggle." He said as he moved his hand forward for shaking. "Mr. Palmer." John said formally shaking his hand as he nodded his head. "Ray." The guy spoke, "It's been long."

"Indeed."

"Hi," Courtney stepped in, "I am Courtney." She introduced herself and John nodded as his right eyebrow rose in question, "Palmer." She clarified, "His wife."

"I remember reading about you." John told her, nodding, "It's a pleasure meeting you."

"Likewise." Courtney smiled. Only a few people knew about her. She and Ray had been dating for two years-secretly, she had been dating Ray before he made his own company. She was proud of him but she chose to hide behind the doors, trying to avoid paparazzi in every way. But then all hell broke loose when they got married. She was in tabloids and newspapers but then she got used to it and many things made her realise that not everyone knew her. Just the business people.

That was a relief.

And life in business world usually concerns the business people not them. Their family is just like a glimpse. So, she was the underdog since she wasn't involved in his business, choosing to spend her time in her office being a lawyer rather than getting involved in his business. She was known to Central City as an awesome criminal lawyer rather than his wife. And she was happy about it.

She had her own identity.

Her brown eyes flickered as she saw Felicity gazing at the casket that lay right in the centre. She knew her friend would burst into tears in mere seconds. Despite three years, sometimes some things just reopen old wounds and losing someone close so close to her, it is not easy.

The three watched Felicity as if she was a broken doll-afraid to ask anything. John was worried because despite the confrontation of the situation that everyone else had more than a few days to cope up with the tragedy, Felicity had two days.

Two miserable days.

Felicity gazed at the casket as her vision blurred. A second later her eyes shifted, staring at the people surrounded.

Staring at Oliver.

**xxx**

Oliver Queen was a potential businessman. He owned a club with his best friend, he chose to stand on his own feet. He also chose to help his father. To decide that he indeed wanted to carry on the business.

The first thing his father had taught him that in business word you expect the unexpected.

But certain things exist in life that you don't expect. And when you do-you are stunned for a moment, mind unable to analyze the situation-

That was what it was-

Seeing Felicity.

He noticed her in a split second. Her blonde hair struck him among the crowd. He always told her it was a distinct feature that made her stand up in the crowd-and now that he stared at her, he hoped he was wrong.

A split second later she turned to look at him. Their eyes met for the first time in three years and his heart thudded.

His father told him there is one split second where you don't realise what had happened but now that moment has passed as he realised what is actually happening.

She looked beautiful.

Even though he was mentally cursing himself for feeling this way but he did. She looked simply but beautiful. Her hair cascaded down her back as her blue eyes-God, he had missed them stared right at back at him. His fingers moved, a nervous habit he had as he stared at her.

She came.

She cared.

A second later he felt light pressure on his arm as he turned. Laurel looked at him, her expression stony as she realise Felicity's presence. He snapped out of the reverie as he stared at Felicity, who walking towards him.

He got caught up in the moment.

He needed to stay strong.

No, she wasn't messing with him again.

He couldn't let anything weaken him. He hated Felicity Smoak and he will make sure she knows it.

xxx

"What the hell is she doing her?" It was Thea's voice that reached her ears which made her clench the rose the had been been clutched in her hand since the very beginning. She had chosen to walk up and finally face her impending doom.

She took a deep breath as she neared the seating area. There were still a few people who were surrounding the area and she could feel everyone's gaze at her. As if it was burning holes in her body.

"Get off the property." Tommy told her clearly as he stepped forward and her eyebrows furrowed, "I don't think so."

She mentally gave herself a pat on her back for staying strong. Her father would want this and she would make sure she gets it. She never did anything wrong, so why should she be at the receiving end of their inhuman behavior?

Tommy began to protest but that is why Ray stepped in, "I don't think I would like to meddle into this, . You don't want to make a show out of this funeral, do you?" His voice was crisp and cold and Felicity shivered involuntarily. Yeah, he was really protective of her.

"Really? Since when did my father's funeral become your concern?" And Felicity closed her eyes for a split second as her fingers tightened on the stem of the flower.

Strong.

"Since the time you married my best friend. We both know that went well, didn't it?" She couldn't believe that Ray had actually said it-but she was okay with it now. She opened her eyes and found Oliver gazing at her.

She stared right back, her gaze firm.

"That is none of your business," And Ray cocked an eyebrow, opening his mouth to speak when Felicity cut him off, "I'm not going anywhere." She declared as she could Moira gazing sharply at her.

Why was the Queen Family supposed to be so big?

"This is my husband's funeral-"

"This is my ex-father in law's funeral." Felicity told her, "Which happened to be like my father. I am not leaving."

She could hear footsteps approaching the small crowd that had been formed around her and Ray. Courtney, since anyone didn't know her was in the back lines and Felicity hoped that it was her approaching her. But, it was-

Laurel.

God, kill her now.

She saw her make her way towards Oliver before reaching forward to clutch his hand tightly.

Oh.

_Oh._

Bitch.

Oliver gazed at her almost expecting a reaction out of her but she remained static, her poker face on.

He wanted to scoff at himself-of course she wouldn't give a damn.

He moved away, his hand being released from Laurel's tight grip as he patted Tommy's shoulder, "Let her attend the funeral and then kick her off the property." He said and he was sure Felicity heard him as she narrowed her eyes at him. He wanted to shrug off the topic of the will at the moment, knowing if she didn't sign it in the given period of time-then he would be the owner of the remaining thirty five percent.

Why would she have a share in his father's will?

Felicity sighed as she stepped aside, her hands still clenched along the flower though. Courtney's eyes were a bit on the wider side as her head pivoted towards the departing crew.

She raised her eyebrows that told Felicity that she was wondering what the hell had just happened?

She shrugged her shoulders, walking towards the seats that were laid for everyone. Her eyes squinted as she saw grandma Judith looking at her curiously before she muttered, "Felicity?"

"Grammy?" Her voice was a whisper and in an instant the old lady stood up, before moving her arms to hug her. "It's been so long." She whispered and it was Thea's voice that reached her ears, "Yeah, Grams hug her like nothing is wrong."

Ignoring her, she hugged her tightly, leaning down. She closed her eyes as Grammy rubbed her back. "It should have been me." She heard her-his grandma whisper and she pulled away, "It should have been me. I am the older one-"

"Don't talk like that." She all but declared, "I know it is hard.." Her voice trailed off, "But we'll get past it." She murmured, "We always do." She said and she could feel Oliver's gaze burning holes at the back of her head. "I'll see you afterwards." She declared, "Or I am pretty sure I would wind up dead and your head would be chewed off by your family." She said with a light hearted laugh but her eyes did shine, showcasing the small layer of water that had been formed covering her cornea.

"You know I'm with you, right?"

"Of course." She said, smiling lightly.

xxx

The funeral went like a blur. Felicity didn't really hear what the priest was saying which in one way did suck but her mind was filled with the memories of this placo, of _him, _of her only father figure in life, of all them.

He was one of the only people who stood beside her.

He understood her and Felicity was sure that even if she had known her father, he definitely had showered her with more love than him.

A small shoulder push snapped her out of thoughts as she realised that the funeral had ended. A set of twin tears rolled down her cheeks as she looked at Ray before nodding her head and getting up.

Following others in tow, she placed her rose on his coffin and closed her eyes taking a deep breath, "I'll miss you." She whispered, "I love you dad." Her voice was still a murmur and she looked up, finding the entire family staring at her.

She chose to ignore them.

People who she didn't care for, did their opinions really matter?

She moved away, turning her back against the coffin as she pulled off her glasses, rubbing the wet surface of the glass against the black fabric of her dress.

"Hey," Courtney murmured softly, "There is someone who wants to talk to you."

Felicity's gaze flickered towards her line of vision.

_Jean._

xxx

The Queen Mansion hadn't changed one bit.

Okay, maybe her photographs were off the wall now-but despite that it hadn't changed one bit.

She felt almost surreal being back here. She remember swearing to herself that she would never step into this house.

And now here they were.

"Hey," She heard Lyla speak as she looked at her. Her eyebrows rose as she found herself with a huge smile on her face as she grinned at the toddler who was staring at her, her eyes full of wonder. "Hello," She said softly, dragging of the word as the word held a tinge of baby talk.

The little girl in turn, moved her head-turning it towards her mother before hiding it in the crook of her neck.

"She's shy. " Lyla told her and Felicity jiggled her head, understanding. She ran a through her soft mop of black curls, "It takes time to warm up to someone." She spoke, "What have you been upto? Still with-"

"ARGUS? Yeah," She answered, "It must be hard though." Felicity told her and Lyla laughed, "Not at all. " She grinned, "I've trained Johnny in everything. Besides Sara is total daddy's girl, aren't you baby? "She cooed at her daughter who finally looked at her mother before turning towards Felicity and nodded her head.

Felicity laughed heartily, "Hey Sara," Her voice immediately softened as she looked at the small child, "Who are you?" The little's child voice was full of wonder and Felicity looked startled for a split second before she spoke, "I am Felicity." She introduced herself.

"Fecity."

"Felicity." Lyla encouraged her and Sara looked at her bewildered, "Fecity," She spoke and the two women laughed, "Fee." Felicity told her, "I am aunty Fee."

The girl looked at her mother who nodded at her, "I am Sawa." She said before turning her head as she saw a figure heading towards them, "Daddy!

"Come here princess," And Sara immediately opened her arms, moving forward-almost toppling off Lyla's arms as John grabbed her.

"Daddy's girl," Lyla muttered to Felicity and she grinned.

Despite the giddy feeling that was going through her as she saw John's family, she couldn't help but feel her heart throb in pain too.

Eveyone had someone.

It seemed like she was the only left alone.

xxx

"How can she even show up here?" Thea looked at her mother, "Even talking about some people is a waste of time, Thea." She said hugging her, "You don't have to think about all this," She said before her gaze flickered towards Oliver as she sighed.

She didn't know about Thea.

But Oliver was definitely thinking about her.

xxx

"That is Detective Lance," Ray spoke and Courtney's eyes followed, "The good detective who just turned captain." She told him, "That is Sara." She said pointing at the blonde before her gaze flickered towards the other girl standing beside them, "That is Laurel, who was Oliver's ex-girlfriend and now current girlfriend."

"Current girlfriend?"

And Courtney flashed him a look that said 'Are you kidding me?', "You didn't see the way she caught his hand, did you? Guys are so clueless."

Ray scrunched his eyebrow, "He got back with her?!" He exclaimed as the realisation dawned on him, "What the-"

"Fuck." Courtney mumbled and Ray looked at her incredulously, "I thought you didn't swear."

"Are you seriously asking me that?" Courtney looked at him, "I don't even know what she sees in Oliver. They are toxic together." She looked at the girl before flickering her gaze towards Tommy, "And didn't the best friend had feelings for her?"

"Wait, what?" Ray found him floundered again, "How do you know all of this stuff?! You don't even know them!"

"Well, I did see them from afar on their wedding."

Ray scoffed, "That was two years ago."

"First, how did you get into MIT again?" She retorted, "Secondly, a girl simply knows. I saw them again a few times and Felicity confirmed too-this Merlyn guy definitely had hots for Laurel-_Gorgeous _Laurel." She ended her talk with a sigh.

"You are hanging out too much with Fee," Ray rolled his eyes.

"Speaking of which, when did Jean say all of us had to get together?"

"Two." He answered before looking at his watch-"We have an hour."

"I feel bad." She said after a minute of silence, "Felicity is there probably bawling her eyes out and I can't even shed a single tear or comfort her. How screwed up is that?"

"Come here," Ray mumbled and she moved frward, hugging him. It seemed weird but yet comforting. She could feel staring at her as she pulled away, "People are staring," She spoke softly, "You didn't know him Court. You didn't cry because you didn't know him."

"I know but he seemed like a great man."

"Yeah, he was."

xxx

One hour later, Felicity stood beside Courtney and Ray as Jean analyzed the papers. Her glasses were on and Walter sat beside her. He had flashed Felicity a friendly smile and her mind reeled back before she realised who he was.

She would have probably tied sitting but in this awkward atmosphere, she knew sitting would make it worse.

It really was awkward.

Courtney's eyes kept flickering as she looked at everyone. Oliver sat on the couch, his jaw clenched, Moira sitting beside him-her gaze sharp fixed at Felicity. Oh, if looks could kill.

Then there was baby Queen.

Too much of anger bubbled inside a small body, Courtney couldn't help but think. She knew that if it wasn't for the boy who was holding her hand in the funeral-she would have punched Felicity.

And then Courtney would have punched her.

Needless to say, it wasn't going to be a pretty scenario.

"You know the terms and conditions then?" Jean said and Courtney snapped-she wasn't really listening to her.

Not that it counts.

But being a lawyer, it shouldn't happen.

Oh well.

"Yes," Felicity mumbled. She had stated that her inheriting the thirty five percent was Robert's decision and she would have get into her CEO shoes by day after tomorrow. A board of director's meeting would take place just so they can know-Oliver and Felicity and that was it.

"So your decision?"

"I'll sign it,"

Now that resulted in many reactions.

Oliver's eyebrow quirked as he spoke, "No you won't. This is my company," He said firmly and Felicity looked at him, "Then you should have spoken first. Why do you think I was asking for the terms and conditions?"

In a split second she took the pen from Jean's hand as she sat and leaned on the table signing it.

"Stop right there!" Tommy told her and Felicity looked at him, "This is his property, not _yours. _You don't have any right in it," And Felicity simply flipped the papers, signing on the other paper. "I think you got it wrong, Tommy." She said, "It is mine. Thirty five percent."

"How can you allow her to do that?" Thea spoke and Tommy started to make his way towards Felicity when Ray interuppted

"I wouldn't do that if I were you buddy."

And this was when Oliver snapped, "Stay the fuck away from him!" He told him as he stood up, "Jean you said that-"

"There was only way out of this ," She said, "If she didn't sign it."

"Of course she would sign it. She was always after the money." Laurel joned in on the conversation and John rolled his eyes.

She really didn't get it, did she?

"Says the girl who gets back with him at every opportunity she gets." Courtney stepped forward and finally glanced at Laurel.

John bit his lip to control his laughter.

"Stop right there!" Moira Queen spoke, her voice strong as she stood up. Her gaze was fixed on Felicity as she narrowed her eyes, "You won't get away from this."

"And all of you, stop fighting like children." She told the room and Walter smiled lightly as he watched her, "You could have fooled my husband, but not me." She looked at her ex-daughter-in-law, "We will get our company."

"It was and is yours Moira." Felicity spoke, "I am just doing what he wanted me to." Her voice was soft.

And Moira didn't falter.

With a sigh she got up as she gestured Ray and Courtney to move out. They turned around and Felicity looked at Tommy and Thea who stood side by side, "Thank you for the warm welcome." She flashed them a smile.

She started to walk away and almost neared the door when-

"What the fuck do you think you were doing back there, Felicity?!" She flinched visibly as Oliver screamed at her, holding her arm tightly.

She whipped her arm away as she looked at him in the eye, "What he wanted me to do!"

"Damn it," He said rubbing his hand across his face, "This is my company. Not yours."

"It is your _father's_ company, not yours."

"Withdraw."

"Excuse me?" She looked at him as if he had grown two heads, "I'm not withdrawing anything."

"I want this Felicity, this is my company." He said, his voice soft this time.

"You said it yourself Oliver. Why would I care?" She said, her poker face on. "You mean nothing to me." She spoke before turning around and leaving as Oliver stood right there.

_You mean nothing to me._

His last words to her.

xxx

Felicity sat on her bed, a stuff toy clutched in her hands. She moved her knees as she leaned her head against them, the scooby doo toy still in her hands.

_**Seven Years Ago **_

_For the first time, Felicity was going to meet Robert Queen._

_The Robert Queen._

_He had her recruited right after she got out of MIT. She did know that big companies graced MIT for placement but the head teacher didn't tell her up until the graduation day that she was a recruitment too._

_Apparently they had been a feud for her amongst Queen Consolidated, Wayne Industries and Kord Industries._

_It made Felicity puff her chest out._

_And she wanted to, literally. _

_But the she figured out she would look like a slut while doing so she backtracked._

_She entered the elevator as she took a deep breath. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. Fixing her glasses she looked at her dress, wondering if it was professional. She wore a simple knee length dress that was red in colour but a small portion at the end was yellow-almost offwhite. Her hair was down, cascading down her shoulders as she blinked, holding on to her file tightly. ___**[ Remember the dress when Oliver says to Felicity, "we need to work on your excuses."?]**

_The door opened as she turned right before walking up to the desk that stood right before they glass cabin._

_Robert Queen, CEO, Queen Consolidated that is what the board in front of the door said._

_The lady flashed her a look that made her believe she was tired. She showed her, her new badge and the assisstant checked the eldest Queen's appointment before nodding. She told her that would enter his cabin within five to six minutes and she could wait inside._

_She almost wanted to say no. How can she stay in a lonesome cabin? Wasn't that some sort of disrespect?_

_Nevertheless, she went inside because the lady at the desk was giving her creeps._

_Like checking her out._

_Or maybe she was just judging her character_

_That was worse._

_She walked inside the cabin that was practically bigger than her appartment._

_Her heels made a sound against the marble floor. It did however alert someone as she saw the black chair swinging and a head popping up._

_Felicity squealed in surprise as her hands moved, papers flowing all around. She mentally groaned._

"_Felicity?"_

_Felicity at first didn't hear him. She bent down down to pick her papers up and suddenly, she was sure someone was standing behind her._

_Dammit, she forgot. Someone else was here to._

_She got up, her back still to the person, "Please don't be a th-"_

"_Thief?" His voice echoed, "What is it with you and thieves?" And Felicity whipped her head. "You!" She gave Oliver a pointed look, "What are you doing here?"_

"_This is my father's cabin." Oliver pointed out, "And your interview was today? IT department, right?"_

"_Yeah." Felicity said fixing her glasses before she bent down to resume her task. Oliver crouched too, picking up the pages._

"_I never took you for the sexy librararian type."_

"_Excuse me?"_

"_You know, the whole red lipstick and the glasses-do you reall-"_

"_I would stop right there, Queen." Felicity warned as she took the stack of papers Oliver offered her before clubbing them with hers. She patted the bundle against the marble floor, making sure it was even before placing it back in her file. _

"_What? It's sexy-"_

"_I'm an employee here." Felicity told him, biting her lip to hide her amusement, "So?"Oliver cocked his eyebrow and Felicity rolled her eyes, "Which means talking to me like that-it's bad. What were you doing here anyway?"_

_And then she looked at him._

_Like look-look._

_He was wearing a dark blue sweater that hugged his body, oh so greatly and his jeans hung lose._

_Was it legal for boys to go out this way?_

"_I needed to charge my phone. Dad and I have the same one, so I needed it."_

"_It's eight am. Your image doesn't pass you off as a morning guy."_

"_Did you google me?" Oliver grinned at her and on seeing her blush, he retorted, "You did, didn't you?"_

"_And you didn't sleep last night, did you?"_

_Damn, despite that the guy looked real good._

_Maybe it was the whole after sex glow._

_Oliver let out a breathy laugh before nodding,"Thank you." _

"_I said that out loud," Felicity realised as she closed her eyes, hiding her face behind the black file. "I'm sorry." She told him a minute later, "I didn't meant judge you-not that I did. It's just that something-"_

"_It's alright." Oliver grinned at her, "You babbled a lot last night."_

_And she blushed. She had said a few things-not that much before they parted ways. _

_Oliver opened his mouth to say something when his dad finally entered the cabin. "Oliver?" He looked up and greeted his dad, "Hey."_

"_What are you doing here?" He looked at him, "I came here to get the charger. Sneaked past your assisstant." His father sighed looking at him._

"_And you are?" He looked at Felicity almost judging her-she could feel it. She turned crimson, "I'm not with him." That was the first thing she said._

"_I mean what I meant was I'm with him-but not with him with him. Like girlfriend type. I'm not what you're thinking. He is not my type." She babbled and Oliver looked offended, "Could have fooled me." He mumbled. And Felicity flushed._

"_I'm Felicity Smoak sir." She looked at the man in front of her. The Robert Queen. Like he was a living legend and a great entrepreneur._

"_The MIT grad," He finally cracked a smile and Felicity took a deep breath, "Yes sir."_

"_You are one of the best employees that I have ever recruited. Fighting off the other industries was tough," He laughed, "But I hope it would be worth it."_

"_Of course Sir."_

_Oliver took that as his cue to leave. Before leaving he leaned down, whispering softly in her ear, "You are not my type either."_

_And Felicity rolled her eyes before letting out a breathy laugh, her cheeks red._

"_So," Robert looked at her, "Take a seat." He smiled and her and Felicity smiled._

_She looked past glass wall of the cabin where Oliver was talking to the assisstant._

_Probably flirting._

_Later, she gets to know that Oliver was asking where the IT department was._

_She tried not to think much about it._

xxx

Grief is a powerful emotion.

People say you shouldn't really think much when you are sad.

But the thing is-you don't think about anything but the cause of it.

Felicity wasn't a genius when it came to emotions. A screwed up marriage was itself an exhibit. But she did know-

The stages it goes through. Your mind tries to channel your emotions in different ways-

It's painful.

It's awful.

_Isolation_

Judith leaned against the rocking chair they had placed inside her room. She wasn't really fond of it but at this point all she wanted was to be alone.

She was older than her son. She had seen the world but yet it was he was who had to go first.

It wasn't easy losing a child.

It just wasn't.

_Anger._

"Ollie, you alright?" Laurel asked as she leaned on their bed, trying to hug him. She just wanted to be there for him.

His gaze was fixed and his jaw clenched, Laurel knew he was thinking about something. She moved her hand but Oliver shrugged her off, "Not now Laurel." He moved away, getting out of the bed.

He really needed a drink.

Fifteen minutes later, he leaned against the balcony of his large house, his mind running as he nursed his drink. He growled when he realised he would have to convince Laurel later on.

He was lying to himself.

He wasn't angry because of that.

His hand curled around the glass tightly. His grip getting stronger second by second as the glass finally cracked. He hissed as the whiskey hit his wound, his hand now coated with blood and alcohol.

_You mean nothing to me._

Why did his father do this to him?!

_Bargaining_

"Do you think we could have saved him if he had taken care of his health since the very beginning? I mean, I think it was me. I always gave him reasons to worry about-"

"It wasn't you, Thea." Roy looked at her, "I know how you are feeling now. And trust me, it wasn't you." He spoke firmly, "You all did all you could."

"I just-" She trailed off, her eyes turning glossy as Roy pulled her towards him. "It wasn't your fault." He kissed her mop of curls as the tears went down her cheeks.

"It wasn't."

_Depression_

Family.

It was a word Felicity believed that never was in her cards. It was always her mother and her.

_Us two against the world._

But then many people came in her life and she was introduced to the term _Family. _

Until it was all ruined.

'_Why the hell did this happen to me?'_ She mused to herself as she hugged the stuff toy, the tears won't stop.

They just won't.

_Acceptance_

"That is how my day went," Moira told the grave in front of her. "I swear I always will hate you for giving away that thirty five percent." She murmured to herself before letting out a breathy laugh.

"You won't convince me this time, would you?" She said, her voice full of melancholy.

She got up, running her hands across her cheeks. "I miss you." She whispered in thin air before she took a deep breath.

"Goodbye."

xxx

**Did it meet your expectations? I need to focus on all character like before Olicity and this was the way.**

**Olicity are protagonist no doubt.**

**But other people..yeah, a tad bit of them too.**

**Thank you so much! **

**I love you all.**

**Signing out,**

**Fanfics4you x**


	6. Chapter Five : Queen Consolidated

**Hey guys, how are you all?**

**New chapter. Wohooo! Hope you guys are excited for this one! **

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**Let us start, shall we?**

**Word Count : 5001**

**Next Update : 11****th**** Feb**

**Disclaimer : I don't own anything you recognise.**

"_**If you lock two people who hate each other in a room.**_

_**Either they kill each other**_

_**Or fall in love."**_

**Chapter Five : Queen Consolidated**

Sunlight penetrated inside the large room via the large glass window as the brunette pulled off the curtains, allowing the heat and light to flood in.

"Wake up," Courtney spoke as she eyed her friend who was laying still on the bed. Her hair ruffled, her face forming an uncomfortable expression that Courtney was pretty sure due to the sudden light before it softened as she pulled the quilt close to her and sighed.

Courtney wanted to let her sleep-knowing that it had been days since she actually got a good one but alas, the circumstances weren't in their favour.

"Felicity," Her voice was soft like mother calling out to her child, "It's eight am-you need to wake up." It had been two days since the funeral and now was officially the time for her to greet work at Queen Consolidated _along with _Oliver. "Two more minutes Mom," Felicity promised as she turned her head away from her, her hair flinging off in different directions as she did the same.

Courtney bit back a laugh and was about to reply when a mop of black hair caught her vision as she saw her husband peek in, "She still asleep?" He asked her quietly as he stepped inside the room and she nodded her head, "Yup. I can see why you two are friends." She laughed and Ray looked at her, a smile on his lips almost as if reminiscing, "We were never morning people. Back at MIT, we slept at four or so, high on coffee,"

"What did you up until four?"

"Talk. We had tons of projects to do. Well _she _had. I was her senior by two years." Ray stated and she nodded, "I used to stay up until four too sometimes."

"And what did you do?"

"Do you really have to guess?" Courtney looked at her husband who shook his head, "Let me guess. Twitter, Facebook-"

"I studied too, alright?" She defended herself before looking at Ray who flashed her a knowing look. She sighed, "Okay, not all the time. And I believe the word that you are looking for is _Tumblr _my friend. It's like an amazing-"

"I know," He sighed, "Felicity loved it too."

"I know that. How the hell do think we bonded so fast?"

"You two talk so much!" Felicity sat up in an instant and Courtney blinked, her eyes wide. She didn't anticipate Felicity waking up-"You scared me!" She said, her hand on her chest as she breathed heavily.

"Her bed hair has always been scary." Ray retorted and Felicity shot him a sharp look but unfortunately it wasn't very threatening due to the blonde locks that covered her face. Her hair was really a mess, golden colour spikes going off in different directions. "Says the guy with creepy eyes."

"I don't have creepy eyes! Court, tell her!"

Courtney laughed as she looked at the two before turning towards Felicity. "Breakfast is coming. Pancakes, bacon and toast." She paused, "I've laid out the outfits that I think are the best for today inside the closet but rest is up to you." She continued.

Felicity looked at her and smiled, "Thanks."

"No worries," She grinned at Felicity before she began walking, around the bed-ready to get out of the room. "And you should be in the shower Ray." She gazed at her husband, "You stink." Those were her last words before she escaped the room and the two occupants in the room looked at each other as the male huffed, mumbling along how mean his wife was.

"You are lucky you have her." Felicity told her best friend, trying to put her point and Ray sighed before nodding, "Don't I know it." He mumbled and Felicity moved her hands in her hair, trying to locate her hairband, "Too bad she can't say the same."

"Hey!"

She got out of bed with a smile full of amusement as she muttered, "She didn't really reply you back at the creepy eyes thing, did she?"

Ray's eyes widened.

"Courtney!"

**xxxxx**

"Ow!" Ray itched as he fanned his hand in front of his mouth and the girls tried to control their giggles, "Hot! Hot!" He chanted before reaching for the glass of water that was placed there by the waiter who had served them breakfast.

"Of course it as going to be hot you idiot!" Courtney reprimanded him and Ray just shrugged her off, his tongue almost hanging out before he pouted his lips, trying to suck in some air.

Felicity laughed as she watched him before her gaze flickered towards the elegant clock that laid on the other end of the room.

_9.35 am_

She frowned-her mind running as she realised that she needed to be at the company within the next thirty five minutes. The meeting was scheduled to begin at ten thirty am and she knew she needed some time to prep herself so she wanted to reach the company by ten fifteen.

Fifteen minutes should be enough.

Her fingers curled around the coffee mug she held, various scenarios flashing across her eyes-they would probably make her life hell there.

Maybe fifteen minutes wasn't enough.

"Everything is going to be okay." Ray told her and Felicity blinked before shaking her head as a yes, trying to reassure him.

She can do it.

Over the past two days, she had time to reminisce and accept her father-in-law's demise-thanks to her friends. She was now ready to move his legacy forward. It was something he trusted her with and she'll be damned if she didn't comply to his last wishes and do want he wanted her to do.

"I know," She told him, "It's just, it has been a while since I visited Queen Consolidated." She said before taking a sip from the mug-leaving a fuchsia lip print on its rim.

"Well, being a CEO isn't that difficult." Ray assured her, "So don't get nervous. And you worked there before-so stop sweating."

"I worked there in the IT department."

"You were the _head_ of the IT department."

"And you were the vice president of Palmer Technologies." Courtney joined in the conversation, "Don't worry. Everything is going to fine and with that presentation you made? It is going to be kickass." She laughed, her hand reaching for the toast that was laid on a plate.

Felicity took a deep breath.

And then took another deep breath.

"I'll be okay." She didn't know who she was consoling, was it her or her friends? Moreover, she didn't know-what she afraid of was?

Being the CEO?

Or

Being the CEO with _Oliver?_

Her phone rang, snapping her out her of reverie as she moved her hand across the table. A small smile graced her face as she pressed the green button on the screen before she spoke, "Hey John,"

"_Ready for your first day?" _Ray and Courtney turned their attention towards the breakfast as Felicity conversed with the former soldier.

"Yes." She said instantly, "I'm nervous but I'll get through it." She admitted.

"_Great."_ _He paused before continuing, "I'm waiting downstairs in the car." He stated._

"Wait, what?"

"_You are the new CEO of the biggest company in the city. What do you think Felicity? I'm here to pick you up." He retorted._

"How come Olive-"

"_Oliver has no say over me. Besides, since when do I listen to him? "_And Felicity was probably showing off her entire set of teeth and she listened to him.

"I'll be down in a minute." She said before she heard the word 'Bye' on the other end. She promptly ended the call as she stood up-pushing the table back with her hands to gain momentum, "Ray, I don't need the car." She declared and Ray rolled his eyes, "Already heard you." He told her and Felicity moved away from the table, making a beeline towards her room.

She entered her area before her eyes wandered around the room behind her glasses. Her gaze fixated itself on the laptop that was on the bedside table as she reached for it. She looked for the laptop bag and found it a second later on the dresser before she placed her laptop and charger inside it and zipped it up.

She blinked as she stared at herself in the mirror, her hand still clutching on to the black bag strap that held her precious laptop. She had always been a freak when it came to gadgets-which wasn't a surprise since she was an IT specialist. She honestly felt a little hollow without her tablet now that she was finally distracting herself.

Initially, a part of her felt guilty that she was moving on too soon. But then her mother talked her out of it, making her realise that this was _life. _You can't help it but live it. People who have to go will go but it is you that lives behind and have to live your life further. She also wanted to talk about _him _but she refused to listen. One thing at a time was enough to deal with. She was going to fulfil his last wish and he will forever remain in her heart.

She looked at herself in the mirror. Her hair was in a ponytail-her usual hairstyle. She was wearing a grey dress that had a black neckline along with two orange patches in the middle. Coupled along with orange and black earrings plus heels-she was satisfied with her look.

She turned promptly before taking a breath or two and then she started walking out.

She had a meeting to reach.

**xxxxx**

Courtney waved her hand in the air as a goodbye while Felicity left the suite. She turned her attention towards her husband who just finished his coffee, a piece of bacon hanging off his mouth. She shook her head and Ray looked at her, his one eyebrow cocked-almost camouflaging itself amongst his black mop off hair, "What?"

"Nothing," She laughed before pushing herself away from the table as she stood up. "You have a meeting with that Chinese businessman." She reminded it and Ray frowned, "Xieng Chu!" He said realised a second later. "Oh god," He mumbled, "Two hours of listening him speak." He groaned, his expression making Courtney giggle.

She leaned forward, pecking his lips lightly before speaking, "Laptop and headphones are in the bedroom." She told him before she turned around-_almost _turned around when Ray caught her hand.

Her brown eyes met his as he spoke, "Do you really think I have creepy eyes?"

She giggled before escaping his hold and heading towards the bedroom.

"Courtney! "

She grinned to herself while making a beeline towards the bedroom, she realised that maybe everything was going back to normal.

Normal.

Yeah, she missed normalcy.

**xxx**

Oliver entered the elevator, his blue eyes flickering towards the buttons that were on the left side before pressing the floor number. He tapped his foot against the lift floor impatiently as the doors began to close.

He heard a distant 'No!' and he took this as his cue to press the open lift button.

A second later, he wished he hadn't.

Her blonde hair was the first thing he noticed, followed by her dress and then her looks. She looked gorgeous like always and he hated the part of himself that acknowledged that. She was panting lightly and he was sure that she had made a run towards the lift. "Thanks," She mumbled before looking at him and promptly froze at the site.

He flashed Felicity that clearly said 'Fuck off' now that she tried to analyse him. Yeah, same emotions this way buddy. As if there wasn't enough of anger against him, he really pissed her off with his last conversation.

Her last words continued to ricochet in his mind and he bit his lip, his jaw locking tightly.

Awkward silence ensued as the lift started to move up, soft jazz music playing in the air and Felicity tried to look anywhere but him.

The door opened a minute later as they reached the floor and she breathed a sigh of relief, stepping out. He followed suit and she made sure she was ahead of him-more like she made sure that they weren't side by side as they started to walk towards the conference room. Her eyes flickered around repeatedly as she realised that Queen Consolidated hadn't changed over the years.

She entered the room, a minute later only to find two people already seated there and she blinked-clearly not expecting their presence. Oliver bumped into her as she had stopped short on seeing the people. Clearly, she wasn't the only early one. She nodded her head towards the occupants in acknowledgement.

She moved into the room and analysed her surroundings before walking towards her seat.

She realised that another set of feet had stopped beside her and nearly contained her groan as realisation dawned that Oliver was sitting right beside her.

"Fill me in," He told her and Felicity looked at him, "I will." She knew she had to do that-this was a _joint _effort for him.

What the hell was dad thinking while pairing him and her?

"You haven't done anything." She realised a second later and she flashed him a smug look, "What happened to 'it's my company Felicity'?" She chose to keep her voice low. They didn't want to give away the impression that the two CEOs didn't get along.

"Well, unlike you I have proven myself over the years. "

"Yeah," She mumbled sardonically, "I'm sure you have." She said before adding, "And unlike me? I was the head of the IT department. "

"Because of me." Oliver said and he knew it was a low blow as her eyes narrowed. Both of them knew that whatever Felicity had achieved in her life was due to _her _hard work, he never had a say in that.

_Lies._

"Felicity Smoak and Oliver Queen," The lady in question whipped her head and looked at the person who was sitting right opposite her. The nameplate right in front of her said 'Margaret White' and Felicity grinned at her. Beneath her name was written 'Finance' which was so very small that she was aware that she was without her glasses-she wouldn't have able to read to that to save her life.

"Hello," She greeted her back and Margaret smiled. Felicity mused that the lady was probably in her early fifties as she flashed her a smile. Her hair that was fixed in a proper bun along with her professional attire probably would have fooled Felicity into believing that she was a tough nut to crack but her warm smile told her something else.

"I must say I was glad when Robert put forth the names of you two as the potential CEOs. I wish we could have met in better circumstances," She told them and Felicity nodded, "Thank you and so do we." She mumbled softly.

"It is really great seeing you two get along despite..everything." She could see that the woman hesitated with last word, "Yeah." It was Oliver who answered and she looked at him, "Let bygones be bygones, right?"

She wanted to laugh at the irony.

"Are you still working with Ray Palmer?" And this grabbed Oliver's attention as he stared at Felicity while she answered, "Not at the moment," She laughed it off, "He'll probably have to find some other VP." Margaret laughed too before she turned her head and Felicity followed suit, trying to catch her line of sight.

_Moira Queen._

Great, she was here.

"What is Moira doing here?" And Oliver turned his head for literally a nano second before he bit his lip, "I don't know." He sounded exhausted and Felicity almost wanted to comfort him.

_Almost._

But then that emotion vanished.

"You work with Palmer?" Oliver looked at her sharply and she looked at him for split second before she zipped open her laptop bag. Oliver caught her hand and she finally looked at him, "What Oliver?"

She was seriously tired at the moment. She could see past the glass wall of the conference room that Moira was talking to the two people who were inside along with some people who had just reached the room-clearly a part of the board of directors.

She was probably bitching about her.

How her husband made a mistake and stuff.

She bit back a groan.

"How long have you been working with Palmer?" He asked indignantly and Felicity pulled her hand away, "First of all, don't touch me." She said and for a second she thought she saw Oliver wince.

Nope, not possible.

"Second of all, one and a half year." She told him before adding, "I really don't think that is your concern though."

She opened the laptop, her finger moving across the mouse as she opened the presentation, "Now can we focus on the task at hand?" She didn't give a chance to talk as she started telling him what it was all about.

She failed to notice his clouded expression.

**xxx**

Moira clearly had done a good job. Felicity knew that most of the people that were present in the conference room were eyeing her warily despite the track record that she had set up in the past.

She hated Moira. She was one diabolical woman.

Luckily for them, Oliver and her coordinated really well and she didn't put forth the rather mean comment that she had in mind about Oliver and Moira because it was clear-Oliver wasn't a part of it.

She was happy that her hard work was being appreciated. She was happy Robert's decision was being appreciated. It took her almost a night to complete the entire presentation. Ray had almost chewed her ear off that day, trying to give her pointers for the presentation.

She saw Oliver's jaw click.

Did she say the last part out loud?

People were getting out of the conference room, shaking hands with both the CEOs as they did so. Not, _potential _CEOs but the current CEOs.

Felicity looked at Moira, who seemed deep in thought. Oliver walked towards her mother who flashed him a remorseful look.

Did they hate her that much?

It took her a second to realize that all the people had left. She looked around once again-just to double check. Her gaze met John's who stood at the end, his arms crossed as he looked at her. He smiled at her and Felicity smiled back-glad that they was someone around here that she knew.

He was proud of her.

He was proud of both of them.

Her phone rang as she recognized the face that was flashing across her screen, "Hey Ray." She spoke, placing the phone against her ear.

And then, she ranted off.

**xxx**

"Hey Ray,"

Oliver chose to ignore her as he focused on his mother. His fists had curled up involuntarily but he refused to acknowledge her as finally opened his palm and placed one on her mother's shoulder, "What did you say to them? "

"I told them what kind of a woman she is Oliver, "Moira's was crisp and it was clear that she wasn't regretting it.

Not one bit.

Oliver bit his lip, he was caught in a conflict. Never once did he doubt Felicity's ability to lead a company but it had always been the fact that they'll be working along and this was _his_ father's company not hers. He deserved it-not her.

As much as she could run it, she didn't deserve anything from them.

"I wish that somehow I could have prevented all of this."

"Don't blame yourself for this," Oliver told her, "There was only two ways out of this-her not signing at all or her signing after the time duration passes, "He declared.

Moira looked at him. "We could not have told her about it and then the board of director-"

"Mom, "Oliver paused, "Not telling her wasn't fair to Dad and it is under the clauses too-she had to be told. It's her decision."

"And now she is back to wreak havoc again."

Oliver turned his gaze towards Felicity, her back in his view. He wished somehow he could prevent this. He knew Felicity would lead the company well, but what about the other factors? The catastrophe happening inside of him? The emotional turmoil that was happening inside of him?

He _hated _her.

They were bad together.

It was a mess.

"Yeah, she is."

**xxxxx**

Felicity looked at Gerry again. Apparently both Oliver and she would get their personal assistants and Gerry happened to be hers. Meanwhile, Oliver got a hot blonde as his assistant.

She'd wonder if that was planned.

"Your cabin is this way," Gerry told the duo and they followed suit. Felicity remembered the last time she came here quite vividly. She didn't need to be directed. Robert Queen's cabin was probably the biggest room in the entire building. Glass walls, large shelves-it was simply perfect.

Her gaze flickered towards the desk that laid in front that was for the assistants. Two large computers kept on the desk and she frowned.

Why two?

Wasn't this supposed to be her cabin?

Or perhaps Oliver's?

A feeling of dread settled in the pit of her stomach as she looked at the glass door. Two dark mahogany boards were fixed on it, white text protruding out of them-the words written in cursive.

_Oliver Queen_

_-CEO, Queen Consolidated_

_Felicity Smoak_

_-CEO, Queen Consolidated_

"We are sharing a cabin," Felicity whispered and Oliver didn't look so happy either. She turned her gaze towards Gerry and let's go with hot blonde, okay? "Why are we sharing a cabin?"

The hot blonde started to answer and Felicity almost had to squint her eyes to read her name on her ID card, Evelyn. "This is the cabin where the CEO sits, Ms. Smoak. Since we have two CEOs, you two would be sitting here and have to share it."

"No," Felicity to Oliver's surprise was pretty verbal. She was always opinionated but if times arise, she co-operated too.

"I'll talk to Walter," Oliver told Felicity and she nodded. "But there is a slim chance we'll get one on the same floor." Oliver declared and Felicity let out a dry chuckle, "That would be better." She said and Oliver knew he should agree with the sentiment.

And he did.

But some things pinch you really hard.

"Yeah, way better."

**xxx**

The two sat inside the cabin. It was like they were beside each other, but they weren't.

No one wanted to talk to the other.

Or maybe they did, but were too afraid.

Felicity stood up, pushing the chair backwards as she made her way towards the shelf that contained files and books.

The silence is the room was deafening.

Her fingers moved across the collection of books that laid in the second row when a knock snapped her attention.

"Two black coffees," Gerry said as he made his way inside, two cups of coffee clenched in his hands. Felicity frowned-she didn't order coffee, did she?

Oliver did.

Oliver thanked him as he kept the two mugs on the table when Felicity chose to speak, "I don't drink black coffee." She told him politely, "But thank you Gerry." The assistant flashed her a smile that said 'No harm done.' Before he made his way back outside, this time holding one mug of coffee instead of two.

Oliver had a weird expression on his face and Felicity supposed it was due to the fact that he ordered her the wrong beverage.

But he didn't know her, did he?

A lot had changed over the years.

Suddenly, the iPhone ringtone resonated in the large cabin and Felicity saw Oliver's lips curl up before he answered, "Hey Laurel."

As she stood beside the shelf, her eyes fixed themselves on the books-refusing to acknowledge his presence.

Indeed.

A lot had changed over the years.

**xxx**

_**Seven Years Ago**_

_Felicity's lifestyle had changed._

_And it was a drastic change._

_She woke up at six-slept late at night. Was on her laptop almost 24x7 and black coffee practically ran in her veins._

_The real world was painful_

_And exhausting._

_She remembered her small little self wishing she could grow up and be carefree._

_But children are stupid._

_Adults are never carefree._

_She learned that lesson when she escaped school._

_Then MIT happened._

_Which was tougher._

_But compared to real life?_

_Nothing._

_She chewed on her red pen as she read the file that her supervisor had dropped on her desk an hour ago._

"_Felicity?"_

_She whipped her head, her feet moving involuntarily as she pushed the floor, gaining momentum-her chair swinging to turn and face the occupant._

_Swinging chair._

_Probably the most favourite part of her job._

"_Oliver?" She mumbled, pulling the pen out of her mouth, "What are you doing here?"_

_He grinned at her, "I came here to pick you up."_

_She frowned. "For what?"_

"_I'm taking you out on lunch," He spoke, "Laurel is out with Sara and Tommy went on a trip with his dad."_

_Felicity furrowed her eyebrows, not recognizing the names but she focused on some other part of the sentence, "Me? Lunch with you?" She squeaked in surprise and Oliver nodded, "Yes, you." He stared at her._

"_Oliver-"_

"_It's your break, Felicity." Oliver told her, "I am bored and you are free. Isn't that our moral duty as a friend to help me?"_

_Felicity's eyebrows rose, "We're friends?"_

"_Yes, friends." Oliver looked at her, "Besides, you hit me with a frying pan, you owe me lunch." Oliver laughed and Felicity giggled along, "You are never going to let that one go, are you?"_

"_Never." Oliver told her, "Now, come on." He said and Felicity shook her head, "As much as I'd love to Oliver, I can't."_

"_It's your lunch break!" Oliver moved his hands in exaggeration. He moved inside her cubicle and promptly pushed her chair, "Come on! You are new to Starling, I'll show you the best diner in the city." And Felicity moved her head against the head support of the seat, her neck arching as she looked at him, "Only half an hour."_

"_Half an hour it is." Oliver agreed and Felicity sighed before getting up._

_Later, Felicity thinks that getting a job at Queen Consolidated hadn't only changed her lifestyle._

_It had changed her life._

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	7. Chapter Six : Life as we know it

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**Word Count : 5123**

**Next Update : 18****th**** Feb**

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"_**Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional."**_

**Chapter Six : Life as we know it.**

Felicity grinned to herself as she opened the door to the diner. She could hear the light tingle that ricocheted across the small diner that was full of people.

Big Belly Burger.

Ah, she loved it so much.

She remembered when she first shifted to Starling City and Oliver introduced her to this awesome burger place and she couldn't help but agree with all the people-this place was the definition of amazing.

She wished Central City had one too.

Walking towards the counter, her eyes wondered trying to locate a familiar face. John did say she was still working here but as a manager. Over the years, her hard work had paid off and she had been promoted.

Felicity couldn't be happier.

She looked past the employees that were wearing their uniforms before someone stopped right in front of her, on the other side of the counter. "Can I help you?"

The blonde guy looked at her, flashing her a charming smile as she acknowledged it by returning the gesture. "Can I help you with something?" He repeated again.

"Uh, actually-" She was cut short by another voice, "When Lyla told me you were back in town I almost didn't believe her."

She pivoted her heard towards the source of the voice and her lips curled up, "Carly!" She said and the said woman walked through the small space beside the counter that led her to the dining area.

The two woman smiled at each other before sharing a hug. Felicity grinned at Carly, "Manager, huh?" And Carly shot her a look, "Well, it was either that or resignation. I had been working my ass off for five years," She laughed and Felicity nodded.

"Too bad you weren't there when that happened." She looked at her and Felicity sighed, "I missed you too."

"Yeah," Carly nodded, "I am still angry with you for not keeping in contact with me though." She stated and Felicity felt a twinge of guilt before she spoke, "I only talked to John and dad, Carly. We didn't even talk about anyone else here. It took me almost a year to talk to them. Even Lyla, are talks weren't frequent. I guess I just wanted a-"

"You wanted a life away from this." Carly understood, "I get it. When Andy died, I had pushed everyone away too." She empathized, "But now I realize I was wrong." She added, "Pushing away someone is never the answer."

And Felicity couldn't help but agree.

_Didn't she know it?_

"Anyways," Carly initiated the change in the topic, "Why don't you grab a seat and order us something. I'll be back in five minutes," Felicity jiggled her head as a yes and Carly started to walk away.

A second later, Felicity heard her voice once again. This time it was soft, almost gentle, "I'm sorry about Robert."

And Felicity smiled ruefully, "So am I."

….

It had been more than fifteen minutes.

Not that Felicity blamed Carly or anything. She had always been really hardworking. Over the years, Oliver and she had gotten accustomed to visiting Big Belly Burger every now and then and she always used to be the one to serve them.

Plus she was Diggle's sister-in-law.

Slash ex-girlfriend.

Yeah, complicated history but never the less the Diggle family had moved past that. Lyla and Carly were good friends as a matter of fact.

She pressed the side button of her phone and it flashed telling her the time. It was quarter of eleven and she bit her lip as she waited for Carly. It was their third day as the CEO duo and Felicity realized that they had their first meeting of the day scheduled at one.

She had ample of time.

She stood up, having been bored enough. She walked towards the board that was placed on the wall. The board was familiar. It had a tons of pictures pinned on it. Pictures full of people enjoying their time at Big Belly Burger. It was what Felicity used to call the 'Memory Board'

Her eyes flickered as she caught a picture of herself and Oliver on the board. She almost gasped in surprise as she realized that the picture was still there.

The two were leaning against each other, smiling brightly at the camera. It didn't help that the two were also drenched in coke and she remembered laughing her ass off later on. Followed by skipping the other half of her job that day.

She turned away.

….

**Seven Years Ago**

_Felicity moved her fingers faster as she realized her lunch break had started. Her fingers moved vigorously against the keyboard as her eyes flickered towards the clock, realizing it was two ten and she cursed under her breath in the best way she could._

_Fifty seconds later her phone started ringing. She almost laughed to herself at the timing as she finally closed the window and then promptly turned off her computer._

_She fumbled for a second before finally picking up her phone, "I'm coming! I'm coming!" She ranted as she cleaned her desk a little bit before placing her bag on her chair. She pulled out her clutch wallet from her bag before picking her coat._

_She promptly exited out of her cubicle and tried to ignore the smug grins that her female friends flashed her as she left the IT department._

_"You're late." He stated simply and Felicity could practically picture him pouting, "I'm almost there, Oliver." She told him as the lift reached the ground floor and she ran in her black heels as fast as she could._

_Her hand still clutched the phone against her ear, "I'm waiting." He answered her back and Felicity rolled her eyes, "Stop whining like a kid. I can hear you pouting through the phone." She laughed as she tried to put on her purple coat over her red triangle cut out dress. She moved her phone to the other ear as she moved her hand in the sleeve of the coat, her clutch placed in the arm pit of the other arm._

_"I don't pout."_

_Felicity grinned, "You do."_

_Before he could reply back, they saw each other. Oliver promptly hung up before waving his hand in the air, his lips curling up to form a goofy smile._

_She smiled to herself before walking towards him. "Hey,"_

_"Hey back," Oliver answered, "You're late."_

_"I have a job." She countered back, "Besides, I am super hungry." She sounded like a child, "Come on, I'll pay."_

_Oliver rolled his eyes as he followed her inside Big Belly Burger._

…_._

_They sat inside the diner, opposite each other, waiting for the waiter to approach them. "Tired?" Oliver asked her and Felicity sighed as she leaned her head against the table, a puff of air escaping her lips, "I'm okay."_

_Okay, maybe she was a little tired. She blamed not having coffee in the morning. Stupid machine._

_She ignored it._

_But Oliver could see it._

_He was a great friend._

_Sometimes she wanted to pinch herself. It had been almost a month since she had met Oliver Queen and three weeks since they had been having lunch together. At first it was only for a couple of days, since Tommy wasn't there with him and Laurel was at CNRI usually._

_She almost felt like a Stepney. But she couldn't say no to him._

_Before she realized it became a habit. Meeting and having lunch. Felicity had a half an hour break and they utilized it to the full extent._

_That is when the realization hit in._

_They were friends._

_He talked about how his dad was after him to take over the company and how Laurel wanted him to stand up on his feet and do the same._

_He told her about how much it annoyed the hell out of him and made him believe that he wasn't good enough._

_She talked about her job and her life in Vegas and at MIT._

_He liked that she didn't judge him._

_She liked that he listened to her._

_It had only been three weeks but it felt like months._

_They met almost every day._

_They chatted on phone every day._

_Sometimes he was busy with Laurel._

_She didn't mind. She remembered the woman that had graced her doorstep a while ago, she wasn't just Laurel. No, she was gorgeous Laurel. A young lawyer, who was really pretty and Felicity could see why Oliver was with her._

_She had flashed her a smile telling her she was happy that Oliver had found himself a friend._

_The smile felt forced._

_The situation was awkward._

_Felicity chose not to tell Oliver._

_"Hey," Oliver whispered and Felicity looked up. "If you are really that tired we could do this another time." He suggested and Felicity shook her head, "I'm alright." She flashed him a smile and Oliver smiled back, "I ordered for us." He told her and Felicity realized that she had been so lost with her thoughts that she didn't even hear him._

_"Okay." She spoke and a second later she whipped her head towards the side to see two large-like mega large jugs of coke coming towards them._

_"Oliver..?" Her voice trailed off, her tone questioning as she stared at the two jugs that had just now been placed on her table._

_She saw Oliver flash a thumbs up to Oliver and her eyebrows rose. "What's going on?" She said, "I'm really hungry." She whined and before she knew it, two burgers were placed on her table._

_Oliver moved the jug towards her. "You know what can cure fatigue?" He asked rhetorically and Felicity smiled, "Go on."_

_"Caffeine." He continued and Felicity stopped him, "You do realize I live on coffee, right?"_

_Oliver rose his index finger in the air before speaking, "And a good friend."_

_Felicity grinned._

_Oliver pushed one jug in her direction and she looked at him, eyes wide. "Let's have a drink."_

_Felicity laughed, "You do realize I'm paying for this, right?" She took off her coat, trying to get more comfortable. Besides, she knew she would spill the liquid so might as well take it off._

_Oliver simply laughed, "Last one to finish pays." He spoke, "We start at three."_

_"Competition." Felicity mock glared at him, "It's on, Queen."_

_Oliver counted till three before the two begin gulping down the liquid._

_Felicity could feel some part of the liquid falling down and trailing down her dress. She would have grimaced._

_But she was having fun._

_Oliver was the same and Felicity moved the jug away, having reached her saturation point as gulped the beverage inside her mouth._

_Oliver kept on drinking._

_Felicity's eyes widened._

_She whacked his jug which caused it to move and eventually causing most of the coke to fall on Oliver._

_On his jeans._

_Felicity's mouth parted open as she laughed and Oliver mock glared at her before he flung the coke at her._

_Felicity was shocked._

_She could the sticky liquid on her face, in her hair. She could feel the strands of her hair sticking on her forehead but she didn't care._

_She started laughing hysterically before flinging her coke in his direction._

_When the manager approached them, she was afraid._

_They were going to get kicked out._

_But when he asked for a picture, they couldn't deny._

_They laughed harder._

_It was a good day._

_It was a great day._

_They laughed, enjoyed and ate. Lots and lots of food._

_She didn't go back to Queen Consolidated._

_He didn't go back to Laurel._

…

Oliver walked out of the mansion, Diggle in tow.

His leather shoes hit the pavement as the produced slight thuds, before turning around and looking at John, "Did you know she worked with Palmer?"

Diggle was caught off guard as Oliver frowned at him. This has been the question that had been plaguing his mind since the time Felicity informed him. He knew that she was close to Diggle, "Did you?"

Diggle let out a breathy laugh as if he expected this, "I did, Oliver."

"How come you didn't tell me?"

"Really Oliver?" Diggle asked rhetorically, "Something tells me that you don't like it when Felicity is brought up." He paused "It was on the news too. How come you didn't see it?"

Oliver shrugged. But Diggle knew the answer. His family had always been trying to push Felicity away. After they divorced, he had become depressed and his family had taken the initiative of cutting him off from Felicity.

He snorted.

"You knew she was coming to the funeral too, didn't you?"

Diggle nodded, "When Jean called, I picked up the phone. She was coming,"

And suddenly Oliver's voice rose, "And didn't tell us?!"

"I didn't." His answer was crisp, "You and I both know Oliver what your family would have done if they knew she was arriving."

"That wasn't your call to make!"

"Not telling her about your father's death wasn't your call to make either!"

"Will you just let that go?!" Oliver seethed.

John breathed deeply. "That has been my mistake since the beginning Oliver. Letting it go. I should stopped you the minute you walked out on her!"

Oliver rolled his eyes, "She deserved it, Digg! And you know it!" He snarled before he moved his left hand forward, "Give me the keys. I'm driving today."

"With that hand?" John laughed dryly, "You can fool anyone Oliver, but not me." He spoke and Oliver rolled his eyes. The other day when he crushed the glass, it had left two gashes on his hand. He chose not to tell Laurel or others as a matter of fact. It would have raised questions from the media and his family and they would have fretted over him. No, he wasn't going to tell them.

Besides, he was okay.

It didn't hurt much.

"Give me the keys." Oliver's jaw ticked as he almost growled. John rolled his eyes before shoving the keys in his hand. "Don't cry like a baby when it hurts."

Diggle saw Oliver gritting his teeth as he muttered something before leaving.

"When will he ever learn?"

…

Felicity hated her life.

She had been sulking in front of the diner for the past twenty minutes.

Twenty minutes

Why can't you get a cab when you need one?

She kicked herself mentally for telling Ray that she'll manage on her own today. She almost contemplated calling John.

Stupid cab service.

A few minutes later, a black Bentley stopped in front of her and Felicity felt her blue polka dot dress flow as it happened. She frowned, expecting some hotshot personality to pop out of the car but instead the window rolled down and she found Oliver smirking at her.

"Need a ride?" He looked at her. His left hand lay on the steering wheel as he looked at her.

Felicity scowled, "From you? Never."

Oliver narrowed his eyes, "Who says I was offering?" His right eyebrow rise, "I am pretty sure I would end up crashing the vehicle if you sit beside me." He chuckled.

"Oh really? I'm sure with your horrendous driving, the possibility is in the near future." Felicity stomped as she started to walk away, "Idiot."

Oliver tried to control his grin as he changed the gear. He hissed for a split second as his injured hand touched the gear box before shaking his head.

His eyes flickered towards the rear view mirror where he could see Felicity's reflection. He stopped the car at the curb, his blue eyes looking at the mirror as he watched Felicity waiting for a cab.

Felicity waved her arm in the air for the umpteenth time that day.

She was tired and frustrated.

Plus Oliver.

But it seemed that God had answered her prayers and a second later a cab did stop. She almost squealed before opening the door to the cab and moving inside.

Oliver watched the yellow cab go past his car and he sighed to himself as he started his car.

He was just looking out for her.

As a colleague, he reminded himself.

Nothing else.

_Nothing else._

…

Oliver sighed as he leaned against his plush chair. Felicity entered the cabin as she looked at him, "Did you talk to Walter?" Her hands were clutching a file. It was almost three, the meeting had just finished.

They had just talked regarding the Applied Sciences along with the head of the said department and a few other people. They were naming it after Robert Queen and had planned to execute a cogeneration project. That way they can help the company and the city.

Oliver nodded, his eyes still closed-his head against the chair, "He said he wanted us together so that we can co-ordinate well, " He could hear Felicity scoff at that, "I told him that it is not possible with the two of us,"

Felicity nodded, understanding, "What did you say?" She said as she placed the red file on the table and picked out a pen from the pen stand. She flipped the pages, her hands moving as she signed them.

"I told them it wasn't possible. So, he said that you'll have a cabin too. On this floor only. He's going to shift one of the employees on a different floor." Felicity frowned, "Isn't this place big enough to accommodate all of us? This is a big building."

She didn't want anyone to face a problem.

Oliver opened his eyes, "Stop thinking about the employee. Walter said he was planning that way before we approached them. He's an accountant, so it makes sense if he is near the CFO. And the person whose cabin he'll be occupying is now going to handle the Moscow branch."

"And we do have extra cabins, it's just that they on a different floor. This is the fifteenth floor-they are a few vacant cabins that are there on the eighteenth. Till the seventeenth floor-all cabins are filled. Loads of people work here, Felicity."

Felicity let out a deep breath as she moved the file towards the left where Oliver was sitting, "Sign it." She mumbled to him and Oliver looked at her, "What are these for?"

"Papers to name the Applied Sciences after dad," She answered and her gaze flickered towards the Robert Queen picture they had placed on the shelf two days ago. It was her decision.

It was his company after all.

Oliver nodded as he straightened himself up. Felicity walked out of the cabin before stopping in front of the desk of the assistants. She bent down and pulled out a mug from underneath the desk. The two assistants had been with them throughout the meeting and Oliver and she had decided to finally give them a break, they deserved one.

She bit her lip as if thinking before opening the door to the cabin and leaning in. She could see Oliver reading the papers and she could see how much had he grown over the years. She remembered when he took the decision to lead his father's company. It had taken years for him to agree to this and Felicity had been proud of him.

Verdant or Queen Consolidated.

She had always been proud of him.

Always.

"Do you need coffee?" Oliver looked up and his eyes narrowed, almost in a playful gesture, "Your stony expression makes me feel that you are going to add poison to it."

"I just might."

Oliver bent his head a little as if acknowledging her response, "In that case, no."

Felicity rolled her eyes as she exited.

At least she tried.

…

Felicity held the coffee mug as she reached the cabin. She frowned in an instant as she saw past the glass door.

Oliver was leaning on the desk, waving his hand in the air frantically. She could see him blow air on his. His pen lay on the table and Felicity was sure something was wrong with his right hand. He most probably had cut it.

In the morning too, he was driving with his left hand. Felicity didn't think of it much at that point because Oliver usually did drive with his left hand on the wheel. His right hand was usually in hers.

She tried not to think about it.

She sighed as she placed the hot beverage on the desk that belonged to Gerry and Evelyn. Bending down completely, she fiddled with the drawers. She pulled out the box that had a big plus sign on it, the words First Aid etched on the top.

She got up, one hand clutching the mug while the other held the first aid box. She pushed the door with the help of her shoulders, her both hands holding objects.

He looked up in an instant before frowning as he saw her holding the medical kit. She placed it right in front of it, "Here," She started, "Clean the wound before. There must be betadine in there. Take a cotton swab and apply it."

"I know how to do it," Oliver rolled his eyes, "I don't need it."

"You can't even sign the damn papers, "Felicity retorted, "Just shut up and do it."

Oliver scowled at her opening his mouth before closing it. He knew she was right. He could at least apply some cream right? It would ease the pain though.

But the woman needed to stop being authoritative, "I'm doing it. But you need to stop ordering around. I'm not your husband anymore."

Felicity flashed a forced smile, "I know."

_I'm not your husband anymore._

Yeah, she knew.

…

Oliver cursed again as he tried again to open the bottle of the antiseptic liquid. He hit his left hand in frustration at his failed attempt to open the bottle again.

He couldn't even open it.

He blamed the bottle.

It was new and the bottle cap was so tight. He couldn't open it with his left hand. He could hear Felicity let out a puff of air, clearly in frustration as she swung her chair in his direction. She opened the bottle in two seconds, although it did take some effort on her part.

She had her poker face on as she moved her hand, "Give me your hand." And Oliver looked at her as if she had grown two heads. "Oliver, the sooner you the sign the papers. The sooner we are done with work. Give me your hand,"

Oliver sighed as he gave him her hand.

Felicity opened his palm, her eyes widening at the site of two deep cuts, "Oliver! These cuts are so deep, you need a dressing!"

"I don't-"

"Just shut up for once," She told him and her head moved as she picked out the cotton followed by a cream from the box.

"How did you get hurt?"

Oliver looked away, "Felicity-"

"How did you get hurt?" And Oliver finally looked into her blue eyes. He could see-what was that, concern for… him? He blinked again and finally answered. His voice was soft this time, "I crushed a glass."

"In anger. Over me," Felicity added, "You were drinking weren't you?" She quirked her eyebrows, "How many times have I told you that hitting things, crushing things is never the answer," She continued, "One of these days you are going break your hand."

She looked at him and squeezed his hand lightly very softly. Her finger ran over his cut and Oliver shivered lightly.

God, he felt like a girl.

It had been a while since they had been this close. Their chairs touched each other's, his hand lying in hers.

He almost felt overwhelmed with emotion. It seemed like he had lost track of what was happening. Or maybe a small part of him did have a clue but he let the former dominate.

"Did you take the glass out?" She asked again and Oliver nodded, "I did."

"Good," She answered as she pulled the cotton out before lightly dabbing it with antiseptic liquid. She rubbed the cotton softly over the cut and Oliver flinched in pain, "Sorry, sorry." She whispered softly as she leaned down and blew some air over the cut.

Oliver kept staring at her.

…

_Oliver kept staring at her._

_Felicity wasn't aware of this fact as her attention was focused somewhere else. She dipped the cloth in hot water because placing it on his forehead, right above his cut._

_She lightly blew air over it, just so it didn't hurt him. "You shouldn't have done that," She whispered softly as she abandoned the cloth and then reached for the cream that was in her first aid box. Oliver sat on the toilet seat, his eyes at her._

_"He was touching you," He declared simply and Felicity flashed him a soft smile, "Thank you." She spoke, "But you should have gone with Laurel. I could have handled him."_

_Laurel._

_Of course she would talk about her._

_It was supposed to be a club night. Oliver wanted Felicity to meet Tommy and Laurel. But then Felicity told him she had already met Laurel, they were neighbours after all. Still though, he planned this evening._

_And it started brilliantly. Felicity looked gorgeous in the short gold dress and hair was left loose, curls moving past her shoulders. He had too blink twice. Felicity had always been gorgeous. But tonight,_

_She looked hot._

_Not that she wasn't before but today, it was wow._

_He had told Tommy about her and he was excited too._

_The night was going well._

_Until Laurel told him that she wanted to go back home. Oliver wanted to say no because he wanted to spend time with Felicity and Tommy and he did, he did say no._

_Laurel scowled at him and left._

_God knows he was glad that he did. Or else someone would have hurt Felicity. Tommy was drunk so he hadn't been that much of a help. The guy was trying to touch Felicity and Oliver punched him hard._

_He deserved it._

_"There," Felicity said as she pulled away. She pressed her fingers against his forehead again and made sure that the white bandage tape, "All done." She grinned at him._

_Oliver was still staring at her._

_"Oliver," Felicity started, "Are you alright? I think the head wound did something," She laughed lightly and Oliver finally snapped out of his thoughts and smiled at her._

_"Why is it that every time I come to your house, I end up hurt?" He asked playfully and Felicity placed her finger on her chin as if thinking, "Maybe it is God's way of telling you to stop ruining my life and leave me alone." She said, her tone light and Oliver laughed._

_The two got out of the bathroom only to find Tommy lying on the couch, dozing off. He was still wearing his shoes, his hair messy as ever as he snored softly._

_"Sorry about tonight, "Oliver apologized and Felicity looked at him, "What?"_

_"Tonight. It was supposed to be a good night. And then Laurel left and then the guy and now Tommy-I'm sorry."_

_"Laurel is a grown woman," Felicity spoke, "It was her choice to leave. Besides I wanted to hit you for that, you should have gone after her."_

_Oliver looked at her, surprised._

_"Leaving you?" Oliver bit his lip, why didn't ever consider herself important enough?_

_"Tommy was there with me," She shrugged, "Which reminds me-you should go meet Laurel." Oliver almost protested, "Lance is away, I know. Sara won't mind you there," She spoke, "And Laurel would be really pissed off if she realizes that you stayed here not there."_

_"I-"_

_"Go," She said softly, "If she kicks you out. I'm here." She laughed and Oliver looked at her, contemplating._

_"Tommy-"_

_"Stays here." She ended before walking towards the door, Oliver in tow. She pushed him lightly, "Go." _

_Oliver sighed as he opened the door. The two stood face to face right in front of the open door. "Thank you." He said and Felicity frowned, "For what? I should be the one thanking you."_

_"For being you," He answered, his voice a whisper and Felicity looked up. She could feel herself turn crimson, "Thank you." She started, "For saving me."_

_Oliver was indeed very grateful. She had been supporting him and she encouraged him to make the right choices. He didn't know why he was feeling this way. But time and now she had put Laurel before her, and sometimes it hurt him. Why did she think so low of herself? He could be himself with her and she was a great person, helping him now and then. She listened, she didn't judge him, she guided him-_

_He was glad they are friends._

_"Anytime."_

_He walked out of the door and Felicity leaned against the door, still in her gold dress. Oliver turned around and looked at her, "By the way, you looked gorgeous tonight."_

_"Only tonight?" She questioned him and he looked like he was caught off guard before he gained his momentum, "Always. You know, you have that glint in your eyes."_

_Felicity's eyebrows furrowed._

_"A person eyes can speak volumes. You can even wear a paper bag Felicity and still look beautiful because it is your inner beauty that attracts attention." Felicity let out a breathy laugh as she blushed, "You are beautiful."_

_"How many girls have fallen for that?"_

_"Well, considering that I haven't said these words to anyone before, none."_

_Felicity tilted her head, "Not even Laurel?"_

_"Not even Laurel." He spoke and Felicity was caught off guard by the way he was staring at her, "You should go." She said a second later, "Good night Oliver."_

_"Good night Felicity."_

…

Felicity wrapped his hand with a bandage. She finally tied the knot and then looked up.

Their faces were inches apart. She could feel his hot breath on her face and she wouldn't admit but a part of her missed this.

A second later she pulled away, "Uh, it's done." She said and she saw Oliver's jaw tick as he realized what had happened. He flashed her a forced smile, "Thank you."

Felicity nodded as she took a deep breath.

No, stay strong.

Strong.

She placed the things back in the box and closed it before getting up and walking away, the kit in her hand.

"It's weird isn't it? The one who caused me pain is the one who is helping me through it."

Pain.

He meant something else entirely.

Felicity did not turn around .She took a deep breath and she felt tears cloud her vision as she spoke, her voice cracking, "You are lucky, Oliver. This pain- these wounds would heal over time. But they are some wounds in life that no one can heal, no one. Not even you."

She walked out.

**So, did you like it? Hate it? Love it? Please review and tell me :D **

**Love you all **

**Fanfics4you x**


	8. Chapter Seven : Ghosts of Memories

**Hey! How are you guys?**

**Guess what?**

**I'm officially SEVENTEEN :D**

**Yep! Finally! One more year until I am an official adult.**

**This chapter's word count is 8807 which BTW is the highest yet.**

**And also, READ CHAPTER TEN. WHICH WOULD EFFECTIVELY BE CHAPTER 11 OF THIS STORY IF YOU INCLUDE THE PROLOGUE. INCLUDES A BIG BIG REVEAL ABOUT THEIR BREAKUP.**

**I JUST TOLD YOU A SECRET. **

**BUT I WON'T REVEAL THE ENTIRE SECRET (I KNOW, SUPER MEAN :p) **

**BUT A LARGE PART OF IT. **

**Did I make up for delaying?**

**Okay, now coming to the main topic :**

**HOLY SHIT WE JUST CROSSED 200 REVIEWS! CAN I GET A WHOOP?! IS THE ARROW FANDOM AMAZING OR WHAT?**

**I THOUGHT NO ONE WOULD READ THIS STORY AND NOW? HOLY SHIT *SCREAMS LOUDLY* ( was I the only one who thought of grudge?)**

**AND AND THE FOLLOWS AND FAVOURITES ..YOU GUYS MAKE MY DAY **

**THANK YOU IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER :**

**HayleyMikaelson (You ship Haylijah? :P ), .9 ,Guest (1), P3enny4urth0ught5, simran, Arrow fan (Indians :D), Guest (2), Sweety23, Julieann. ,Angelicin, Luv2live,Chaimae,Blah345 Guest(3), wellwisher123, anynousmous4nowx, Guest(4),guest(5),guest(6),guest(7),ashley2060, lucy1997, guest(8), Micaela, Wish n wink (Love love the name :P ) 5283,kwimz,TotallyPri,QueenV1991,**

**RESPONSES :**

**Wazo29 : Awww :') I'm glad you were able to experience these emotions. It makes me happy as a writer. And after this slow burn we have lot of olicity ahead, so keep your hopes up.**

**ForeverLoveAlways : Wait and watch, hugs would be coming soon. And it's the slow burn that leads to an epic love story :D**

**OneTreeFan : No, thank you :D**

**Val09 : How much do I love reading your reviews? I know I know I love torturing you people and the emotions you portray man. TYPICAL FAN GIRL, JUST LIKE ME :D Love is a mental game, it's confusing and I love exploring it and torturing you guys :P I LOVE YOU SO SO MUCH. YOU'RE SO ADORABLE AND YOU ARE LIKE MY SOUL SISTER. THE EMOTIONS. LET ME SAY I WOULD TORTURE YOU GUYS MORE BUT WITH OLICITY FLUFF AND STUFF COMING UP, YOU'LL BE HAPPY.**

**# Not Betaed,so ignore the glitches. Will be dealt with later. Will be done later by my Beta Kamaza ( :D) It was kinda late so I wanted to update. **

**Disclaimer : I don't own anything that seems familiar.**

"**A brother is a friend God gave you.**

**A friend is a brother your heart chose for you."**

**Chapter Seven : Ghosts of Memories**

"And that is how it is done." Felicity smiled at the supervisor of the IT department as she fixed a major glitch that was plaguing the computers in there. It was quite a big issue. Turns out, one of the employee was rather naughty, trying to sneak up on different kinds of porn websites which resulted in a virus being caught up by the computer hardware.

And then it spread.

It was chaotic and until a day ago, Felicity wasn't even aware which made her feel a tad bit guilty since she was the CEO. The guilt was accompanied by anger at the employees since they should have informed them beforehand. Instead, the employees chose to spend one day trying to fix the problem. She appreciated the effort but they should have been told.

She looked at the group of employees that had gathered behind her table before pushing her feet against the ground and standing up. "Next time something like this comes up, I-We should be informed first. This time we were lucky that I was able to recover all the data," She nodded towards the group, trying to sound professional.

The group consisted of all kinds of people. Young, old, men and women-and Felicity did feel a sense of Déjà vu, remembering the time when she worked here.

"Thank you," The supervisor, Mr Mason said-Felicity had made sure to know the names of most of the employees in here in the past one week, trying to make everyone comfortable, "You are really amazing with computers." It had been almost four years since she had left her job here at QC and needless to say, most of the staff had changed.

"You're welcome," Felicity grinned slightly at the compliment before she looked at the employees again, "Next time be careful. If something like this happens you should contact or I," She frowned, "Actually don't contact him. He isn't really much of a technical expert. The only thing he knows how to operate well is his phone but when it comes to computers-he literally doesn't know anything." She paused, biting her lip for a split second, "But you can contact him too. He's the CEO too." She muttered at last, taking a deep breath as amused smiles were shot towards her from different directions.

She smiled back, trying to kill the awkwardness before exiting the area. She took a deep breath as she entered the lift and pressed the button of the floor where the managing department was there-she might as well get to know about the factories that were installed in various parts of the city.

She leaned against the bright yellow wall as she waited for the floor to come.

Being a CEO is tiresome.

Like really tiresome.

….

"So, you fixed the problem?" Oliver asked her the minute she entered the cabin. She nodded her head before speaking up, "I also went in to check most of the departments which BTW, was your job too."

"You were the one who was eager to be the CEO, right?" Oliver asked her, "Now pay the price."

"I am working with you. Trust me, I already am paying." Felicity told him as she reached her seat and swung it before sitting on it.

"Did you read about Isabel Rochev?" She said as she reached for the red file that was kept on her table. The front page showcased all the details about Stellmoor International, the company they currently wanted to deal with followed by the pictures of their current vice president, Isabel Rochev, "She looks scary in every picture." Felicity murmured as she flipped the pages.

And Oliver looked at her, his eyebrows hiking up, "It's almost like she knows she is going to meet you."

Felicity scowled at him as she snapped the file close before she threw it on the table. She sighed the next minute before closing her eyes and placing her head on the head rest.

She was done with him.

Two minutes later, she heard Oliver sigh before he spoke up, "You checked the cabin?" Felicity nodded, her eyes still closed, "Five more days." She mumbled. It had been four days since they had approached Walter and probably three days since they had started renovating the new cabin for Felicity.

She had said no.

Walter disagreed saying that the cabin should look like it belonged to the CEO. Not so coincidently, her cabin was adjacent to Oliver's. Felicity wondered how intimidating it must have been for the employee that had just shifted, to sit in a cabin right beside the CEO.

It was a pretty great cabin. It too had a leathery seats just like this one, which Felicity believed was awesome and they were super comfortable. Even the couches-or were they seats? Felicity would never understand.

But it didn't have the awesome view that Oliver's cabin had and it was smaller, because, duh-not the CEO cabin.

She almost felt envious.

The only thing separating the two cabins was a solid wall. A mahogany coloured wall. The most significant difference between the two cabins was that since Felicity was occupying a normal cabin, she didn't have the booth that is usually occupied by the assistants. Gerry would still sit in front of Oliver's cabin which wasn't much of a problem since the cabins were adjacent.

Felicity would take whatever she gets.

She just didn't want to share a cabin with Oliver. The duo were civil to each other sometimes while the other times they insulted each other. Or well, they talked about their past, condescendingly.

It was painful.

And it was weird.

They were better off apart.

Oliver's phone rang and he picked it up. Sighing, he held the phone in his right hand and Felicity noticed that someone had redressed his wound and her lips curled up ever so slowly. "Hey Speedy," He greeted his sister who was on the other side of the phone.

"_Ollie, there is an architect here who says you called her."_

A shadow crossed Oliver's face as he realized he had forgotten about it, "I did. You remember we were planning to add another VIP lounge in the club?" He spoke, "I called her to talk about it."

"_Well, you come too, then." Thea told him, "We'll talk about it. Tommy is busy flirting with her." She continued, "So you might as well come handy since we are already down a member."_

Oliver looked at his wrist watch as he realized that the time was ten minutes to two, "It is lunch break, so I'll be there."

"_Why can't you skip today? Felicity could do it." Thea said, "The woman could do something productive for once."_

Oliver saw Felicity's grip tighten on the paperweight she was holding and it made him realize that she could actually hear them. Her expression had faltered slightly and Oliver moved in his seat involuntarily.

Felicity stiffened.

"I can't Thea, "Felicity shook her head at him and Oliver frowned before pulling away from the phone, "Go." She told him and moved his eyebrows up in the gesture as if asking 'what?'

"I am already off in few minutes. I already took a round across the building and no meetings are scheduled today. You can go." She said before promptly before standing up.

Oliver mumbled something to Thea that was incoherent to Felicity. She shrugged it off and moved her hand across the table to fetch her bag, "Where are you going?" Her eyes narrowed ever so slightly behind her glasses as she looked at Oliver, "House shopping."

"Again?" And Felicity was caught off guard, "Wait, how do you know I have been at it for days?" She questioned him but Oliver didn't back down as he stared at her, "You can't choose a house in a day, Felicity." He answered and Felicity shot him a sceptic look before looking away. "Besides, with the list of demands that you carry while buying a house. It will take time."

"I don't have a list of demands."

"Actually," Oliver finally stood up, his lips turned up ever so slightly. His right eyebrow moving up and Felicity internally groaned as she saw that. It was his fun smile. Great, he was trying to push her buttons. "You're right. They are kind of silly."

"No, they are not."

"Checking that the house is haunted or not is silly." Oliver told her as he walked past her and she followed, her black heels hitting the ground and making soft thuds as they exited the office, "It is not silly." Felicity could feel herself turn red with embarrassment, "It is. Especially when ghosts don't actually exist."

Felicity looked at his back as she walked before murmuring in a quiet voice, "Especially when ghosts don't actually exist." She tried to imitate him, "What are you then?"

She wasn't much of speaker was she?

"What?" Oliver turned in an instant and Felicity who was walking behind him collided with him, "Ow." She murmured as her head collided with his firm chest. Her hand rubbed her forehead, "Stupid muscly che-"She stopped short when she felt his fingers move over her hand and Felicity immediately opened her eyes. "Did I hurt you?"

Oliver's hand touched Felicity's for a split second but he pulled his hand back the minute she looked at him, her eyes wide. Blue met blue and suddenly, a simple situation turned into much more. He took a step back and Felicity took this as her cue as she walked past him.

Oliver shook his head before letting out a frustrated huff, his teeth gnashing together. He sighed, trying to calm himself down.

Dammit!

"Sir?" Oliver opened his eyes before gritting his teeth, "What?" It was harsh and a second later, he did realise what had happened as he looked at Gerry, "What?" It was softer this time, almost tired.

"Are you leaving too?" He asked him and Oliver nodded before replying, "Yes." The assistant took this as his cue and left. Oliver fiddled with his coat pocket for a second before his bandaged hand found the phone.

He was almost about to call Diggle when he saw some workers approaching the cabin that was being made.

Okay, it wasn't the workers-it was what they _held._

"She still has that picture," He almost murmured to himself as he saw the photo frame with the picture he once cherished.

A second later as the picture went out of sight, he snapped out of his thoughts. His eyes were almost glossy as he held the phone before pressing the speed dial number for John.

_Stop thinking about it_, he mentally told himself before he tried to focus on the situation at hand.

Verdant.

Yeah, yeah.

He needed to be there.

…

**Six and a Half Years Ago**

_He needed to be there._

_That was honestly the first thing that popped up in his head the minute he exited the house._

_He drove faster as he reached for his phone. He even shouted at John! Goddammit, what was wrong with him?_

_Sometimes being rich sucked. _

_He changed the car's gear before gritting his teeth and swung the steering wheel. He reached his destination within ten minutes unlike his regular half an hour-that is how fast he was. He headed for the stairs straight away, ignoring the lift that he knew would take some time in approaching the ground floor, he ran past the people who were waiting for the same._

_His feet moved faster than ever as he panted lightly before reaching her floor._

_He ran across the hallway before pressing the doorbell to her house. The door had the name plate 'Felicity Smoak' on it and a faint memory hit him of him and Tommy trying to fix it on the door._

_That was a good day._

_He rang the bell repeatedly and he could hear her fiddling on the other side of the door before she opened the door. She was putting her glasses on as she opened the door, her voice close to her loud one as she spoke, "Who is it?"_

_He knew he woke her up._

_A part of him felt guilty. It was almost one after all._

_But at the moment he needed her. _

"_Oliv-"She was cut short as Oliver flung himself at her and hugged her tightly. Caught off guard, Felicity simply blinked for a few seconds. She finally gained her senses as she felt Oliver's hands on her back and she swore she stopped breathing for a split second._

_She closed her eyes as she felt him hug her tighter and then she hugged him back._

_It was their first hug._

_Honestly, it felt perfect. Now, Felicity has always been a vivid thinker and she won't admit to Oliver but she has always wondered how he hugged._

_Not that he hugged a lot. The only person Felicity ever saw him hugging was his sister._

_He just seemed huggable. His body was amazing-not that Felicity had seen him shirtless, she has wanted to but alas, she couldn't._

_She sounded like a creepy stalker._

_Oliver let out a puff of air and his arms tightened. It was almost intimate now that Felicity thought about it. But she didn't care. She moved her head on his shoulder, relishing the feeling. "Are you okay?" She tried to ask him, her voice soft and Oliver mumbled, "Just don't let go." Felicity agreed, not knowing what to say._

_Few moments later, Oliver moved away. And Felicity could feel the gust of cold wind hit her and she missed the warm feeling the hug gave her._

_And then the awkwardness kicked in. They were friends-so, what was that? Oliver fumbled for words, how was he supposed to say it? "Uh, I don-"Felicity knew it was going to be awkward and she sure as hell didn't want him to be uncomfortable around her. _

_Not when he needed a friend._

"_What's wrong?" She chose to say instead and when she didn't get a reply, she looked up. Oliver was staring at her. His gaze was sincere and she almost felt goosebumps on her skin before her natural instinct kicked in, she felt self-conscious. It took a few moments to realise she was still in her PJs. Her hair haphazard, her face make up free. _

_She had probably scared him._

_She could feel herself turning red as she spoke, "I should go change."_

_She turned around._

_Well, almost. Oliver immediately reached for a hand and Felicity pivoted her head in his direction as he whispered, "Don't go."_

_Felicity frowned. Ignoring the feeling of butterflies doing somersaults inside her stomach, she tried to focus on the situation at hand._

_She moved forward and pushed the door with her right hand, her left still clutched in Oliver's._

"_What's wrong?" She whispered softly and Oliver looked into her eyes. "What happened?"_

"_I just-" Oliver felt frustrated with life. He bit his lip, his brows coming together as he blinked rapidly, "I just feel so angry," He paused, "And confused." But thankfully he had calmed down._

_He knew she would calm him down. That she would listen and talk to him instead rather than thrashing his opinion. She would help him. _

_She grounded him._

_She was a great friend._

_Felicity smiled reassuringly as she encouraged him to speak. She won't force him but she was here to listen to him. The two sat on the couch and Felicity finally squeezed his hand that was clutched in hers, "Dad wants me to join the company. But I don't want to. He wants me to stand up on my feet and I know I am not a good son and I party and I am reckless-but I can't help it." He said it in one go and Felicity simply looked at him._

_Oliver continued._

"_Laurel thinks the same way and it is frustrating!" He told her and Felicity could see that his anger had resurfaced._

_The situation was really bad, wasn't it?_

"_What do you want?" She finally whispered in a soft voice and Oliver looked up, his eyes meeting hers as he answered honestly, "I don't know." Felicity let out a breathy laugh as she retorted, "That's normal." She told him, "People in this world, they do their masters, honours- they study but yet they don't know what to do in life. That is completely normal, it's life."_

"_But does that mean they don't want to do anything in life? No." She fidgeted on the couch for a split second, trying to get comfortable, "See, it isn't always about carrying the legacy. You can have different choices, a different life. You don't want to be a part of his company than don't be. Do something you love."_

"_It's better to be good at something else than being a bad businessman." She ended her side of story and Oliver frowned, "I don't how many times I have to tell him no," He sighed._

"_Then don't tell it, show it. You said it yourself Oliver, you think you are reckless. If you think that about yourself, what do think they think about you?" She looked at him, "Self confidence." She patted his chest, "Believe in yourself and that is when your parents will start believing in you. Ask yourself, where do you see yourself in the next ten years? What is it that you don't want?"_

"_If you can't see it then how can you expect them to see it? You know Oliver, you have a great lifestyle but it is not something that you could carry on forever. Now the question is, how soon would you realise that? You don't have to be a businessman for that, Oliver. Do something you love. Believe in yourself and then, your parents will start believing in you."_

_Oliver finally whispered the question that has been plaguing his mind since the beginning, "I still don't know what I want. How do you I know that?"_

_Felicity grinned, "Well, you know that being a businessman is something you don't want. That's progress, right?" She paused, "We'll start from the beginning. What is it you like and you don't like it and we'll decide further. You'll decide further. The thing that would be the easiest to envision in the future is the answer. The thing you love the most. Something that clubs passion and work." She bit her lip, an amused smile crossing her lips as she finally spoke, "I should probably get money for this, Queen." She told him playfully, "I am an awesome counsellor."_

_Oliver laughed, "Thank you." And Felicity nudged his shoulder with her left one, "You're welcome." She grinned, "Someone once told me I was great listener." Oliver smiled lightly as he realized it was he who said it._

_She squeezed his hand before releasing it and Oliver felt his palm come in contact with the cold air as his fingers twitched, missing the warmth. "Now, come on, I'll make you some hot cocoa." She told him as she finally got off the couch, "With marshmallows." She added in the end as she headed towards the open kitchen._

"_You have movies?" Oliver suddenly had a mood change and Felicity blinked, "What?" She asked him and Oliver laid against the couch as he spoke, "Movies? Let's have a movie night? If you have a problem I'm okay. I just wanted to distract myself and spend some time-"_

"_I have movies." Felicity stopped him. It was weird, this time it was he who was babbling. "Almost of kind of genres. Romantic, comedy, drama but no horror, yeah definitely no horror. Because when I do have horror movies, I want to see them but then I get scared in the night and think my house is haunted which I am definitely sure should not be the case since I did double check with the dealer while purchasing it."_

"_You checked if the house is haunted or not?" Oliver laughed all of a sudden and Felicity almost felt proud of herself for making him do that before she gained her momentum back, "Of course. Haven't you seen AmityVille Horror? Half of the bad stuff that happens in movies is because of the damn house."_

_Oliver couldn't control his laughter and Felicity threw a spoon at him, "Now come help me with this and then we'll select a movie." As Oliver grunted and pushed himself off the comfortable furniture, "Pan and then a spoon, what's next a knife?"_

"_You will never let go of it!" Felicity moved her arms in the air in exaggeration and Oliver shook his head, "Never."_

_He would never let go of it_

_He never wanted to let go of her._

…

"Come again?" Tommy frowned as he stared at the blonde woman leaned against the table, a pencil clutched in her hand and the blue print of Verdant lying on the table, in front of her. She started scribbling on the paper as she spoke, "I am saying that you want it bigger than the current one or you want this lounge to be the same in size?"

"Same," He answered and Thea nodded from her seat right beside him, "Otherwise it would be VVIP lounge," This caused Thea to roll her eyes, "What do you think, Roy?"

The guy in red nodded at his girlfriend, "Same,"

"So," Tommy's voice ricocheted and Thea rolled her eyes, "Kate," The woman looked up and Tommy found himself leaning further against the table, trying to be closer to the blonde, "Since you have been working so diligently, I should offer you a drink or two, right?"

Kate flashed him a smile before she finally said it, "No."

Thea couldn't control the laughter that bubbled out of her lips and Tommy almost felt happy knowing he made her laugh. It wasn't common these days due to obvious reasons.

Sound ricocheted across the small lounge where they were gathered and the four occupants pivoted their heads towards the source only to find Oliver and John approaching towards them. "Hey Ollie," Thea greeted him, "John." The two nodded, passing small smiles along her way before joining them.

"So, Kate Manson, right?" Oliver asked her as he sat next to Tommy who shot him a grin, "Yes Sir." She told him, "As I was telling Mr. Merlyn-"

"Hey," John whispered to Roy who looked at him, "How is she holding up?" He asked him, his eyes shifting towards Thea.

Roy smiled, "Good." He told him, "She visits his grave daily. But she is okay. She is coping up just fine." John nodded.

Good, at least one girl he was supposed to care of was okay.

Now the only one he needed to worry about was Felicity.

….

"I like it," Felicity told Courtney as the two finally came down the stairs. It was a great house. Townhouse to be pretty specific. The floor was wooden and it almost resembled Felicity's house back in Central City.

It was small but it consisted of everything Felicity want. It had an open kitchen and two bedrooms-one for her and one for the guests. The walls were furnished and it was in a great condition.

Almost ready to move in.

Felicity wanted it that way.

"You sure?" Ray asked her one last time and Felicity nodded, "Yup. I like it." She said before Courtney joined in the conversation, "Plus it doesn't have a spooky ghost story."

Ray looked at her, his eyebrows raised, "What if it does have one, but the dealer didn't tell you?"

Felicity's eyes almost widened as she whacked Ray in the chest, "Way to ruin it, Ray." Courtney laughed before her eyes flickered towards the man standing at the threshold of the house. "There he is," She told the two and then noticed Felicity's thoughtful face, "He is just pulling your leg! You have seen Ray-dealt with him, what's a ghost compared to him?"

"I know that." She mumbled but her mind was running really fast.

Ah, ghosts really suck.

Her attention snapped and laughter bubbled out of her thought as Ray protested, "Hey!"

"We should go and talk to him." Felicity suggested a second later, a small smile still on her lips. Courtney nodded, "Yup and then we'll go shopping."

Felicity turned her head towards the brunette instantly, "Shopping?"

"Of course. Once we fix this deal we are going out to celebrate." Courtney cheered and Ray looked at her, "How am I celebrating?"

"By paying the bills, silly."

"Why do you think we keep you around?" Felicity turned towards her best friend.

Ray rolled his eyes as he started walking, "Come on, we got a deal to fix."

….

**Six and a Half Years Ago**

"_So, what's the deal you guys have fixed?"_

_Oliver looked at Felicity whose both eyebrows were risen up as she asked him the question, "Dad agreed to fund the club." He told her and Felicity moved her head, trying to give him the message to continue further, "He liked the entire presentation and he is willing to give it a chance. Although he does have Walter keeping an eye on me so that I don't mess up."_

_Felicity grinned at that, "That's a start, right? How did Tommy's dad take it?" Oliver made a face at that but nevertheless answered, "He too was happy for Tommy. Which is weird because I don't really remember the last time I saw him smiling. He said he'll invest in the club if he likes the progress."_

"_You guys talked-"_

"_We talked to the constructor, interior designer and the architect. We've also searched on some other clubs-so we know what we are up against. Like you said, we are looking into every nook and corner. From competition to club development to blue print designing to everything. "He shot her a grateful smile," Thank you for everything. The presentation, the nagging, getting us in touch with outside competition. Everything, thank you."_

"_Since when did you become so formal?" Felicity retorted and Oliver passed her a small genuine smile at that. He really was grateful to her-for the handling the club, handling everything, handling _him.

"_When are you meeting the interior designer and the architect? Actually shouldn't you meet the architect first? I mean, we should finalize and get it made before we actually think about designing it further not that it is wrong to actually the start in the opposite way. Actually," Felicity paused as if thinking, "Starting the opposite way doesn't make any sense-"_

"_Fe-li-ci-ty." Oliver tried to grab her attention as he enunciated her name. Felicity looked at him instantly and almost blushed at the way he said her name._

_He didn't even give her a nickname, yet it sounded precious. She liked that feeling._

_Yeah, she did._

"_I am meeting the architect first. We have already planned a few areas and how it would look-but we need professional opinion. We just want to talk to designer too since the work can start as soon as the construction begins. With the constructor-we need to just settle some money deals since they are already shaping the basement to be something remotely functional." _

"_You sound like a true businessman."_

_Oliver smirked at that, "It's in my blood." _

_A second later he spoke, "We have the meetings tomorrow, so you would be there…right?" Felicity was caught off guard by his tone. He was hesitant as if afraid she would say no. "Of course." She answered him in an instant and Oliver let out a sigh of relief he didn't even realise he was holding._

"_Good because I need my best friend there." _

_Felicity leaned against the study table in Oliver's room as she smirked at him, "I know you do. But it seems like Tommy and you are doing pretty well on your own."_

"_Well, we had help." Oliver told her before he paused, "Which we would always need." He moved his head forward ever so slightly, his blue eyes glinting as he stared at Felicity. Her lips curled up at that._

"_Now, come on, we need to go shopping."_

"_Shopping?"_

"_Yeah," Oliver answered, "We need to see some stuff. Wall patterns, crockery, wine glasses-loads. We need some ideas before we talk to the interior designer, don't you think?"_

"_And I am tagging along?" Felicity pointed towards herself and Oliver nodded at that, "So, the two of us would go together? Not that by together, I mean together-together. I mean, how can we?" She laughed lightly, "You are with Laurel. Gorgeous Laurel-not me, so we can't be together but we will still be together like friends-"_

"_I'm here!" Oliver looked past Felicity who almost breathed a sigh of relief at the escape from the embarrassment. Tommy walked towards the duo and Felicity knew he had his mischievous smile as he spoke, "Am I interrupting something?"_

_Felicity shook her head almost instantly, "No." _

_Tommy grinned wider at this, well-if that was even possible, "Just asking."_

_Oliver's phone rang and Felicity laughed at the 'Barbie Doll' ringtone that resonated in the room. Tommy too dissolved into peals of laughter and Oliver growled under his breath, "Thea."_

_Felicity couldn't control her giggles and leaned against Tommy's chest that was too rumbling with laughter._

_Oliver flashed the two of them an annoyed look before walking towards the corner and picking his cell up._

_Seconds later, Oliver hung up and turned towards them before speaking, "Laurel's joining us too."_

_Tommy could swear he saw Felicity's face fall. He nudged her and she looked at him, her eyes widening as if trying to say 'What?'_

_Tommy shrugged but didn't answer which to be honest was rude. _

_Who the hell just nudges people?_

_Felicity chose to ignore the current scenario. _

_She also chose to ignore the pang she felt in her chest at the mention of Laurel._

…_._

_So, Felicity was alone outside the mall._

_Come to think of it. It had been what, four hours? She honestly expected herself to spend the entire day with 'dumb and dumber' as she eloquently quoted the Queen and Merlyn duo. _

_It was almost eight at night and Felicity didn't really mind leaving. Although she could have enjoyed more inside the mall with everyone but being here doesn't hurt either._

_She can watch all her television shows on time._

_At least that was what she tried to tell herself. She sighed before picking her phone out from the back pocket of her jeans. She went through the contacts, her lips pouting involuntarily as she stared at Oliver's name._

_Should she call and tell him that she was leaving?_

_But then Laurel would be there._

_And she was sure Tommy would have told Oliver that she had to leave._

_She shook her head before placing the phone back in her pocket. _

_A second later, it happened. Someone pulled her arm and she immediately went into alert mode before calming down as she realised it was Oliver._

"_Where were you?" He asked her and Felicity wasn't able to control her groan. He had the 'monkey' face on. AKA the tight smile that made Felicity realize he was pissed off. _

_Still, she pulled her arm away since the grip had thankfully slackened, not that it was tight before, "I have to leave. I have work tomorrow."_

"_Really?" Oliver retorted, "Felicity, you said it yourself. You were happy to come. So stop lying. Why are you bailing on me?"_

_Okay, so he caught that._

_What was she supposed to say? That Oliver your girlfriend hinted for almost an hour that I should leave before she came off straight to my face and said that I should leave since Oliver doesn't need her at the moment._

_Yeah, that would go well._

"_I am not bailing on you," Felicity started, "Tomorrow is Monday, Oliver. You know how much I hate those-so I need to go home and sleep on time and probably have a pint of mint chip because I really hate Mondays."_

_What the hell did she blabber about?_

"_No," Oliver suddenly grabbed her hand and Felicity wanted to pull away but she couldn't. It was not hurting but it was tight. "You are coming with me inside."_

"_Oliver!" Felicity shouted all of a sudden as Oliver practically yanked her, "I can't!"_

"_Can't or don't want to?" Oliver looked at her sharply._

_Felicity chose to ignore that question, "You have Laurel and Tommy there! They'll help you out. I should leave."_

"_I want _your _opinion," Oliver told her firmly before he pulled her. And suddenly Felicity was looking at Oliver closely._

_Like really closely._

_Their faces were close to each and he was staring at her instantly. _

_It gave Felicity the butterfly feeling._

_The only thing that happened to be separating them was her glasses._

_Honestly, why can't love stories be ever about a girl who wears glasses? _

"_You are coming with me." He declared as he let go of her hand and suddenly in a snap the moment broke. Felicity immediately cast her eyes towards the ground, feeling her cheeks turn red. Her body always worked against her. Maybe it cheeks or mouth or-_

_Oh._

_She shouldn't think about this, should she?_

_It was a second later that her mind registered what he had said. "No, I am not coming with you." She answered him and she saw Oliver's jaw tick, "Felicity you are coming with me!"_

_He was shouting._

"_No! Oliver, you don't need my opinion!" Felicity told her, she was on the verge of her loud voice too. "You have Laurel in there. And Tommy too. You have known them for your entire life. They know you better. Go there!"_

_Oliver growled, "Laurel again?" _

_Why can't she get it in her head that she was important too?!_

_Felicity rolled her eyes, "Why not Oliver? She is your girlfriend." She poked her index finger in his chest, "Which I'm not." She said, "So you can't order me around. If I said I'm leaving means I'm leaving."_

"_Really?" Oliver's gaze darkened, "Well, that's a good thing. Because you suck at being a friend, let alone a girlfriend."_

_Ouch._

_Felicity's face faltered for a split second before she regained her momentum, "I'm sorry, okay? I know I told you I would help you. But I just want to go home." Her hands moved involuntarily as if listing her points, "You don't need me there." She said, her hand moving in the direction of the mall as she realised how she stupid she looked before hesitatingly pulling it back. _

"_I need you!"_

_Felicity closed her eyes at the sound of his voice. He sounded sincere but she couldn't go inside, could she? She couldn't jeopardize his relationship._

_Besides, why does he talk like that? It makes her heart flutter._

_Uh._

"_I can't." She said simply and Oliver looked at her before he scowled, "Fine. Go. Thank you so much for everything. You know what? I don't need to consult you anymore. You're free."_

"_Oliver," Felicity said instinctively. She didn't expect him to be this way, "Don-"_

"_Just go," He said, "Don't call me. I can handle stuff without you. You're right, Laurel's my girlfriend. Tommy's my best friend. "He paused before speaking, "You're just an employee in my company. Why would I need you?"_

"_Oli-"_

_He left._

_He freaking walked away from her. _

_She bit her lip, trying to control the scream that was about to escape her lips. He walked away and his words hurt. Tears clogged her vision and she raised her hands in the air and clenched her fists as the tears finally escaped._

_Oliver Queen was an asshole._

"_Douchebag," Felicity murmured to herself as she wiped the tears. _

_Maybe this was it. A small fight ending their friendship. She knew she was at fault too but what is it that she could have done?_

_Oliver should have understood. Period._

_She turned around and was ready to leave when a limo stopped in front of her. The window rolled down and she could figure out that the man behind the wheel was Oliver's driver._

"_Ms. Smoak, Oliver told me to drop you at your house," He said and Felicity rolled her eyes, "Well, then tell that douchebag that I would take a cab. I don't want any favours from him." Anger was radiating off her._

_The guy smirked, "That is exactly what he told me you would say . He told me it was late and if you disagree then to pick you up and throw you inside the car. His words not mine."_

_Felicity growled under her breath._

_She growled._

_Damn you Oliver. _

_First he pisses her off and then he helps her? What was she supposed to do with this guy?_

_Well, it wasn't her headache anymore._

_He made it clear._

_But, she didn't have any option apart from leaving in his car, did she?_

_Plus, she was so tired._

_She almost yanked the door open and got inside the vehicle. She could see the driver smirking behind the wheel and she couldn't help herself as she spoke, "Would you tell him that I put up a great fight? And that I called him a douchebag?"_

"_I would Ms. Smoak." He laughed as he turned the wheel._

"_Thank you, Mr.."_

"_John. John Diggle."_

"_Mr. Diggle." Felicity said as she nodded. She looked outside the open window before turning her gaze back towards the front seat, "Would you mind stopping at a convenience store? I need to buy some ice cream." She sounded like a little kid._

"_Not at all." He told her, his face showing off a grin that said he understood and Felicity nodded._

_Ice cream._

_Yeah, she needed mint chocolate chip tonight._

_You're just an employee in my company._

…

"I thought she was just an employee in your company." Thea looked at Tommy who sat on the couch in the VIP lounge, a drink in his hand, "She was. Until she wasn't cause dad fired her because she mixed her professional and personal life."

"And one more innocent girl loses her job," Thea ended the story and this made Oliver chuckle from his seat on the couch, his head lying against the head rest.

"She definitely wasn't innocent."

"Really?" Thea made a face at that before she turned her gaze towards Oliver, "How is everything going with the company?" Oliver straightened up at this before answering, "Good. She is getting a new cabin soon."

"Ollie, I seriously think you should consider taking my part of shares too-"

"Don't even think about it."

"How can you sit beside her knowing all the things she has done in the past? Last time you were around her, you hurt her hand. It's like she is a bad omen." She ranted off.

John snorted.

Oliver gazed at the bandage he had on his hand as he recalled their conversation that day,

_These wounds would heal over time. But they are some wounds in life that no one can heal, no one. Not even you._

He let out a breathy sigh at that, "She isn't that bad, you know."

Now, this grabbed a lot of attention.

Tommy whipped his head in his direction and Thea was staring at him as if he had grown two heads. John smiled lightly and Roy probably just looked confused, "Did you seriously say that?"

"This hand," Oliver started as he waved it ever so slightly in the air, "She didn't do it. In fact, she was probably the first one to notice it and then it patch it up. I am not saying I don't hate her. I'm saying...she is tolerable." He ended and Thea blinked before getting up, "You're really making no sense, Ollie." She was frustrated with him.

She exited the room and Oliver just closed his eyes as he leaned back against the couch. He should have known before starting to talk about her.

"You don't really mean it, do you?" Tommy asked him and Oliver didn't open his eyes as he answered him sincerely, "I do."

…

Felicity sipped her coffee as she looked at Ray, "So my stuff is coming?" and Ray nodded at this, "Yup. Tomorrow morning and then two more days and voila, new house."

Felicity grinned at this before placing the coffee mug on the table and moved her hands forward. She held both their hands before squeezing them, "Thank you." She started, "You know for everything."

Ray grinned at that, "Really? You're going to thank us now. Starling City taught you manners, huh?"

Courtney laughed at that, "Exactly. What are friends for?" She asked her a rhetorical question and before Felicity could counter back her phone rang.

She mouthed a sorry as she reached for her phone. A frown shadowed her face for a split second as she stared at the name flashing on the screen. She got up almost instantly which made the couple frown as she just shrugged them off saying, "Work."

She walked outside the café muttering under her breath.

Since when did he call her?

…

"You came on time," Tommy chimed in the minute she entered the small coffee house. She ignored his comment as she sat right opposite him, "Why did you call me here?"

Tommy looked at her, "I just wanted to talk about Oliver," He said and it was Felicity's turn to frown, "Is he okay? I mean when he left the office he was-"

"He is okay." Tommy assured her as his mind ran a thousand miles an hour. A part of him was acknowledging how much she cared of him while the other one made him realise that he couldn't be fooled once more.

Not again.

"Stay away from him."

"Excuse me?" Felicity was caught off guard at that and Tommy took this as his cue to speak, "I don't want to create a scene, Felicity. I didn't want you as a part of his company. I don't want you as a part of his life," He paused, "You and him. He is vulnerable around you, "He told her and Felicity didn't say anything.

He continued.

"He is attracted to you like a moth to a flame. Both of you are. You can't resist the other. I know him and I don't want that to happen. God knows how bad it went the first time. So, I just wanted to talk to you and say, don't mess his life up again. Just don't."

"I messed up his life?" Felicity uttered before she stood up, "Can't anyone just see or acknowledge that maybe it could have been the other way round? I can't believe you were my friend once Tommy," She told him, "And you believe that him and I could get back together?" She laughed humourlessly, "Never."

"I am just doing my job." She told him, "I don't need to be taught how to do it. Certainly not from you." She ended the conversation before rushing past the waiter that was coming towards their table.

Tommy hit his fist against the table as she rushed out.

….

Felicity walked towards the diner where she had left Courtney and Ray. Her pace seemed slow and it seemed like she had been walking since forever.

_He is vulnerable around you._

_You can't resist the other._

_Like a moth to a flame._

She didn't realise that she had reached her destination before she saw Courtney's face pop up amongst the crowd in the diner.

Walking up to them, she sat on the table as Courtney asked her, "How did it go?"

Honestly, Felicity wanted to say the truth but all that came out was, "It went well."

Ray nodded before his face coiled up to form a frown, "You're lying." He was her best friend. Years of experience and he could tell in an instant when she was lying or not. Felicity looked up as he asked her, "Who was it?"

….

**Six and a Half Years Ago**

"_Who is it?" Felicity yelled as she started running towards the door, cursing under her breath when the person on the opposite end won't stop ringing the bell._

_She opened the door and was greeted by Oliver's best friend. She was a tad bit surprised. It had been two days since the fight between Oliver and her and Felicity had been sulking. Tommy had been a good friend of hers, but she thought since her contact with Oliver broke-then her friendship with Tommy ended too._

"_What are you doing here?" She asked Tommy as he entered her house. She certainly hadn't been expecting him, "And if you are here to talk about him, then forget it."_

"_What the hell happened between the two of you?" Tommy asked her as he made himself comfortable on the couch and Felicity sat right beside him, "Your friend is an A grade asshole," _

_Tommy's eyebrows rose at that._

"_Okay, it might be my fault too but he was really mean and I know our friendship has ended so there is no point talking about it." She chose to change the topic and Tommy rolled his eyes at that, "Both of you are the same. You want to talk about it but you don't want to talk about it. Both of you are insane."_

"_He talked about me?"_

"_Is that the only part of the sentence you got?" Tommy asked her before speaking again, "Listen, I know you have feelings for him. Don't even try to deny,"_

_Felicity's mouth was left parted open like a fish at that. So, she couldn't really defend herself could she?_

"_And the reason why you left that day is because of Laurel."_

"_Yeah, it was Laurel, "She told him, "She practically had to ask me to leave, Tommy. I couldn't jeopardize his relationship with her."_

"_Yet you don't like the idea of them together." He told her and Felicity frowned at that, "Are you talking for yourself or for me, Tommy?" She asked him softly and he was caught off guard at that. He sighed before speaking, "Is it that obvious?"_

_Felicity let out a small laugh, "Yes it is."_

"_Do you think Oliver knows-"_

"_There is a reason why I call him the dumber one, Tommy." She told him, "I don't think he knows."_

_Tommy shrugged, "I always knew he was the dumber one." Felicity suddenly laughed at this as she pushed his shoulder with her own. A small smile formed on Tommy's face, "It's been four years of seeing them together and I have tried to move on. But something just pulls me back," He let out a sigh full of melancholy._

_Felicity leaned her head against his shoulder, "Well, maybe it is because you always thought of moving on because they were together. Not because you wanted to." She told him, her voice soft. "Or despite everything you are hopeful. When Oliver cheats you think she would leave him but she doesn't. You hope too much," She said as if talking about herself too._

"_He hasn't cheated in the past six months."_

"_It scares you, doesn't it? You want to move but you want to hold on too. When you try to move one you feel afraid that something might just happen and she rushes back into your arms and then it would be too late." She said, her voice trailing off as if voicing her emotions, "But the truth is, no matter what happens-the waiting only kills you day by day. And you are better off with someone else rather than her."_

_Tommy nodded, her words leaving a deep impact on him. "I guess you're right."_

_She was, wasn't she?_

_It had been four years. They were eighteen when Oliver first asked Laurel out. It was great in the beginning but then Tommy found himself being attracted to his best friend's girlfriend and he almost cursed the Gods for this stupid cliché but he couldn't help it. She was amazing and a part of him wished that she would see him in that limelight too._

_But then he felt guilty because that would mean betraying his best friend. But ever since Felicity that guilt has vanished._

_Unfortunately, Oliver couldn't see it and two of the most important people in his life were in a stable relationship._

_It did hurt him._

_And he knew it hurt Felicity too._

_He felt her nodding against his shoulder, "When am I ever wrong?" She added and Tommy chuckled, "Never Ms. Smoak." He told her before resuming the initial topic, "What about you?"_

_Felicity lifted her head, her brows coming together, "What about me?"_

"_Felicity." He said, his tone telling her to not to avoid it. She chose to listen to him once, her both hands entangling together. "I don't know. Laurel is an amazing girl. I mean she is gorgeous and nice and has a big heart and she is a complete package. How many times did I use 'and'?" She turned towards Tommy who shot her a look and Felicity got up and headed towards the kitchen._

"_Wine?" She looked at Tommy who nodded before he jerked his head forward ever so slightly, telling her to speak, "She is a great girl. How come one can't fall for that?"_

"_You are amazing too, Felicity."_

_Felicity ignored him, "Guys like Oliver, Tommy. They don't fall for girls like me. And I'm okay. It's just that there is nothing stopping us from falling for them and it hurts."_

_And it was the truth. As much as Felicity has read clichés and stuff-these things-a jock falling for a nerd, two different people ending up together, it is all fake._

_Maybe that is why people like it._

"_You know what?" Tommy suddenly got up from her couch and marched towards her before picking up the wine glass that she had just finished pouring wine into, "You are an amazing woman. You are intelligent and beautiful. So, don't go all that guys won't fall for me. You never know who is falling for that smile of yours." _

"_Where did you read that line?" Felicity laughed and Tommy mock glared at her as he sipped the liquid, "We should go out and have fun. Find ourselves a guy and a girl and move on with our lives." _

"_I mean, what is wrong with us? We are amazing, okay? We deserve something better than pining over someone." Tommy ended and Felicity looked thoughtful before laughing out loud, "What's wrong?"_

_Felicity shrugged as she tried to control her giggles as she went past the kitchen island, the wine glass still in her hand, "I just clubbed their names together. Like Bennifer types, they become Loliver which is funny because it contains LOL, "She looked at him, "You get it? Laughing out loud? It's almost like the universe is laughing at them which is a really mean thing to say because they are our friends but too bad-"_

_Tommy started laughing loudly and Felicity paused, "I always thought they would be Lauriver together."_

"_You're better than this than me," She frowned, "Merlyn, do you ship people?" Tommy shrugged, an amused smile on his lips as he sat beside her on the couch. Felicity took a sip of her favourite drink before placing the glass on the table right in front of them._

"_I've been at this for the past four years, Smoak." He told her and Felicity saddened almost instantly before she started, "Tomorrow we're going to go out and find someone. Especially you. We need to move on okay, Merlyn? Think about your happiness for once." She ended her side of conversation and Tommy agreed to this._

"_You do realize that you would have to patch up with him, don't you?"_

"_Eventually." Felicity chose the word wisely and Tommy couldn't help but roll his eyes at that. "I just want the best for you, Felicity."_

"_You remind me of Ray." She told him and Tommy eyebrows furrowed, "Ray?" And Felicity nodded, "He is my best friend. We met back at MIT." She paused, taking a breath before continuing, "You are like a brother I never want to have."_

_Tommy chuckled at this, "I don't want a sister like you too. Seriously? How many guys would I have to beat on a frigging daily basis?" And Felicity shoved him hard. _

"_Is there anything we can do?" Tommy asked and Felicity's eyes flickered around, "I have games, books and movies." She listed off and before she could help herself, she spoke, "I also have the movie 'My Best Friend's Girl' if that is what you want to see."_

_Tommy pushed her and she gasped, not expecting it, "You are a bitch, you know that?'_

_Felicity only laughed harder. _

…_._

"Who was it?" Courtney asked her again and Felicity snapped out of her thoughts before she answered, "Nothing. Just an old friend."

_Old indeed._

**So, so, like it, love it, hate it?**

**PM OR REVIEW AND TELL ME :D How was the flommy part? Hope you like it :D So, updates ahead cause twenty days off buddy!**

**Enjoy **

**Take care **

**Next update : 5****TH**** March **

**Thank you x**

**I love you all **

**Fanfics4you x **


	9. Chapter Eight : Then and Now

**Hola guys, how are you all? Here is the update :D So, I kinda worked hard on it and I know it still doesn't make up for the past screwed up chapters.**

**How do you tolerate me? **

**Anyways, do you guys realize how close we are to 250? The response that I am receiving, I can't be more grateful for it**

**Thank you so so much x**

***Throws pics of the Stemily video***

**I love all you people who are hopoyfully waiting for melodiful Olicity moments in this story.**

**Sinceriously.**

**Okay, I just had to use the three words, okay? Because they are simply awesome.**

**Okay.**

**Thank you in no particular order : Anonymous4nowx, Wellwisher123, Lys Dis, Emeli Thorne, Guest (1), Sandra, Micaela, Guest (2), SH ( :*), Gialy, Guest(3),Chaimae, She doesn't mind, CealSR, Fondle-Me-Elmo, Best-of-Nerds-and-Spies, Guest (4), Annabelle, EmilyHotchner-olicity-bethyl, Va09, Guest(5),guest(6),Lucy1997,Aanon, Guest(6), Kimminightwing, Wazo29, guest(7), OneTreeFan, HayleyMikaelson, NJ, Sin Bella **

**A special thanks too : OneTreeFan, Wazo29, Lucy1997, Va09, Wellwisher123, Anonymous4nowx**

**You guys have reviewed almost every chapter and I couldn't be more grateful. I love you all :* **

**Responses :**

**NJ : First of all, wohooo! New reviewer :D Thank you for the lovely review! I'm so touched and I'm glad you like my story. Thanks a ton x**

**HayleyMikaelson : Tommy has his had shoved up so far up his colon :P oliver too..but wait and watch :p Thanks for the review x**

**Sin Bella : Thanks :')**

**OneTreeFan : I love that theory! Let's wait and watch :D Thank you x**

**EmilyHotchner-olicity-Bethyl : ikr? Trust me, Felicity will get better. She is a strong willed woman and just wait and watch :D ty :')**

**Kimminightwing: Thank you! I love the flashbacks too :D **

**Wazo29 : Flommy friendship is something that makes my heart hurt because I know that can never happen :/ I'm glad you are liking this. Thank you x**

**SH- Thank you :D I love youuuuu!**

…

**I was thinking that maybe thanking through PM is better though I'm lazy at hell..so idk. Anyways, hope you enjoy the chapter.**

**Okay, one last thing.**

**TIMELINE : Currently, it's Feb 2015 in Starling. I actually thought of putting July cause in Feb I would have to show Winter.**

**But according to show, the City has pleasant weather all the time. So, yeah it's Feb.**

**Feb 2015.**

**And Six years ago is the end of 2008. Are we clear? **

**Okay, okay.**

**I swear if this was wattpad there would have been tons of comments like TFIOS! Haha :p**

**Without further Ado,**

**Thanks for waiting.**

**Word Count : 7015**

**Beta : Kamaza ( Thank you so much :* This honestly would suck without you :P )**

"**True love never fades away.**

**No matter what."**

**Chapter Eight : Then and Now**

"This is my room," Felicity started as she stared at the iPad while standing in front of her bed. Donna Smoak had a wide smile on her face as she gazed at her daughter who was video conferencing her from Starling City.

Felicity walked out of her bedroom before heading towards the guest bedroom where Courtney and Ray were staying, "This is the guest bedroom." She said, moving the device across the room.

Courtney suddenly popped up behind Felicity and Donna could swear, her heart stopped beating for a split second.

These kids would be the end of her one day.

"Hey Donna," She grinned at the screen and the elder Smoak smiled back, "Hi Courtney." She greeted her too, "Where's your husband?" And Courtney pointed towards the bathroom, "He in in the shower." She told her and Donna nodded, "Felicity, the rest of the house..?"

Felicity blinked, "Of course." She started walking, this time heading towards the stairs that would be lead her to the living room.

"Please tell me you have a bar too?"

"Mom!"

…

"Felicity, did you talk to the dealer?" Felicity looked at Ray as she dropped the spoon she was clutching on the table. "I did." She told him and Ray frowned, "And you paid."

"Ray, this house if for me." She declared as she picked up the spoon again before dipping it in the milk and cereal bowl. "But I thought the money thing ended when I let you pay half the bill at the hotel." Felicity groaned at that, "That was cause I did stay with you guys and I was supposed to pay half of it."

Ray rolled his eyes, "When will you stop being so-"

"Stubborn, independent?" Courtney offered him words before she pushed the sandwich plate in his direction and he looked at her before completing the sentence, "Stubborn. I mean, why do I even try?" He ended while Felicity laughed. Ray frowned, the next second as he stared at the breakfast that was laid on the table, "Sandwiches, cereal, fruits? What happened to bacon and eggs?"

Courtney clicked her fingers in front of his face which snapped his attention, "This is our first day in this house Ray. This is all we have. Do you seriously expect bacon and eggs?" She said before pointing towards the kitchen, "Just look at that kitchen."

The kitchen wasn't really ready at the moment. Although it did look pretty, thanks to the workers and the three occupants working their ass off for three days straight-it looked awesome. To be very frank, the house looked awesome.

It had two bedrooms. The first one belonging to Felicity which she had decorated in a short amount of time, it was bright and beautiful while the other one was the guest bedroom-that was plain and simple much to the chagrin of Courtney. The living room happened to have a dining table at one end, while on the other end there was couch-right in front of was a large LED television.

It was great.

But some necessities were still missing. Like the gas supply, groceries and wifi.

Felicity definitely needed wifi.

She'd wondered if it was weird that for her it came before food.

Ray rolled his eyes as he reached for the sandwich while grumbling under his breath, "I get it."

Felicity's phone started buzzing as she let go of her spoon for the second time that day, her right hand reaching for the phone while her left cleaned the residual milk on her mouth, "I need to leave." She said while skidding her finger across the screen to dismiss the alarm. She got up and the couple looked at her, their eyebrows raised.

They looked alike.

Freaky.

"Meeting in an hour," She answered their unspoken question before putting up hers as she made her way towards the couch where her bag was kept along with her coat. "When do you guys plan on leaving?" And Courtney chose to speak, "We still have to book the tickets." She told her and Felicity jiggled her head, trying to acknowledge her response, "That's good. I'm leaving. I'll call you later," She ranted before promptly closing the door.

"This girl is working so much these days." Ray murmured and Courtney agreed.

"Yeah. But at least she is settling back," She added with a small smile before getting up.

Ray bit his lip for a split second before asking her something, "Are you sure we're doing the right thing?" He paused momentarily, "Shouldn't we stay here with her? I mean in two days-"

Courtney chose to cut him off, her voice soft, "I know, Ray. But just trust me on this one, okay? She needs to do this alone."

Ray sighed.

Alone.

Would she able to do it?

…

Felicity fiddled with her purse as she took out her car key.

Yes, finally.

Her car was here.

She grinned to herself as she walked towards her Mini Cooper. The car was small and cheap but it was the emotional attachment to it that made it special. The vehicle was what? Seven years older-she furrowed her eyebrows as she thought about it.

Honestly? She didn't remember. But she had never been able to let go of it. She had another car back at home which was a gift from her friends – An SUV to be precise when she finally overcame her fear. It was amazing but still she preferred her small car over it.

Nothing can beat memories, right? Even if many of them were with Oliver.

Most of the time, she tried not to think about them.

Most of the time, yeah.

…

"Mr. Queen," Oliver was greeted by an unfamiliar voice the minute he entered the conference room and his eyebrows furrowed as he tried to locate the source of it.

_Isabel Rochev._

God, she looked scarier in person.

"It seems like people were right about you." She told him coldly and Oliver was pretty sure that this was what her actual voice sounded like.

"I'm sorry." He mumbled, his eyes flickering towards the blonde who was sitting on the chair, a smirk on her face. She waved the red pen she was holding in the air lightly, her eyebrows hiking up and she gave him a grin.

Oliver groaned internally, "Clearly, being a CEO didn't change you Mr. Queen." She ranted and Oliver snapped out of his thoughts, "I'm sorry?" It came off as a question as his head moved forward slightly, both of his eyebrows rise

"Forget it." Isabel sneered and Oliver saw Felicity flinch at that.

Not that he was noticing.

Oliver chose to ignore the brunette as he made his way towards the vacant chair beside Felicity. He made sure to nod his head towards the other people who were present in the room while doing so.

He sat on the chair, his blue eyes turning towards Felicity who was fiddling with her pen. She stared at him as she pressed her lips together, trying to control her laughter. "Something funny?" Oliver questioned her sardonically and Felicity immediately shook her head, "Nothing."

The duo noticed Isabel staring at Oliver rather harshly and if only looks could kill. "Stop." Oliver mumbled and Felicity looked in his direction, "What?"

"That smile," Oliver spoke, his teeth gnashed together as he tried to show everybody he wasn't really speaking, "This was the first and the last time this has happened," He told her, "No one talks to Oliver Queen like that. " He started, "and stop smiling," He looked at her and Felicity stared back before she focused her attention on the file opened in front of her.

"You really need to stop referring yourself in third person." She mumbled.

"It still freaks you out?" He laughed lightly, "I'll continue doing it."

"Asshole." Felicity mumbled under her breath.

Someone clicked their fingers and the two CEOs turned to look at Isabel who shot them an annoyed look.

Felicity was pretty sure that was her usual look.

"If the romance is over, can we focus?" This caused Felicity and Oliver to look at each other before Felicity pulled the file rather harshly and swung her chair, her back facing Oliver.

Romance.

Yeah, right.

…

"What? No!" Oliver's voice was full of astonishment and Felicity did wonder for a split second what was it that the person on the other end had said but she chose to ignore it.

She sipped her cappuccino before picking her phone up and messaging Courtney, reminding her of the people who were going to visit her house later during the day. It made her feel guilty that it was they who were doing all the work and she made a mental note to visit Big Belly Burger on the way to fetch them some delicious burgers.

"Hey," She blinked before turning towards Oliver whose hand was in the air. He was clutching his iPhone and before Felicity could ask anything further, Oliver cleared her doubt, "It's for you."

Her eyebrows rose up and she pointed her index finger at herself, "Me?" She double checked. Oliver grunted before nodding and Felicity placed her phone on the table before taking his phone out of his hand.

"Hello?" She was hesitant. Up until now, her track record with the Queen Family wasn't the best, so you couldn't really blame the woman for bracing for the worst, right?

_"Felicity?"_ And Felicity let out a sigh of relief she didn't know she was holding. Apparently, Oliver had been chatting with Judith. "Grammy," She greeted her, a smile crossing her face, "How are you?"

_"I'm great dear."_ She heard from the other end and it felt good to be talked to politely for once. She had wanted to talk to Grammy before but alas, when were circumstances ever in her favour?

"What about you?"

She could see Oliver roll his eyes before he stood up and walked out of the office, without even looking at her once.

Talk about awkward.

"_I'm fine."_ She spoke softly, "_Listen, the reason why I wanted to talk you_." And Felicity pressed the mobile closer to her ear-if that was even possible, "_Day after tomorrow. We have a small party."_

Felicity's eyebrows furrowed, "Party?"

"_Yeah, we have it every year. It's more like a small function. Not many people come-and media is not allowed too. More like a charity ball so we can celebrate and donate money-You know, because day after tomorrow it's-"_

Felicity's heart thudded as the realisation dawned on her. She pulled the phone away instantly, pressing the side button as the screen lit up and she saw the date.

8th February.

"Two days to go,"-she mumbled incoherently, her lips moving. She can't believe she forgot.

"Felicity?" She blinked repeatedly before nodding her head. She closed her eyes, realizing that Judith couldn't see her. She ran her left hand through her-or well tried to, since her hair was in a ponytail. She pressed the hand on her head and closed her eyes while murmuring_, "_Yeah, yeah I am here_."_

_"Will you come too?"_

Felicity was caught in an emotional conundrum as she stuttered to answer, "I-I don't know." Thankfully for her, Judith understood, _"It's alright sweetheart. I'll put your name on the guest list either way. But I'll really appreciate it if you come, okay?"_ Felicity sighed and nodded, "Yeah, yeah." She murmured, "Thank you."

"_You alright?"_ Judith asked her.

Felicity stage whispered, "I'm okay." She told her, not really in the mood of talking at the moment. Ten seconds later, she hung up having exchanged her goodbyes with Grammy who also had asked her to call her later. Felicity placed the phone on the table-the screen illuminating to show her the wallpaper.

_Oliver, Tommy and Laurel._

She let out a hoarse chuckle as she saw the happy picture before she pushed the phone away. She held on to the table lightly while she recalled the conversation that took place minutes ago.

She forgot. How could she frigging forget?! She could feel tears welling up in her eyes at her stupidity. She stood up in an instant and started walking out of the cabin.

Evelyn turned her attention towards the blonde who had just gotten out of the office, her eyes analysing her and she could tell something was wrong. Call it girly instinct. Or maybe it was the fact that her eyes were red and her pace was fast.

"Are you okay, ma'am?" She asked her and Felicity answered almost instantly,

"Yeah," She spoke, "I just need some air." With that she walked out.

…

Oliver found his way back to the cabin fifteen minutes later. Honestly, he didn't want to hear his Grammy invite Felicity to the party. He knew she should be invited-after all it was a special day for both of them, but _should_ was the key word.

Doesn't mean they have too.

He didn't want her in his house and he believed if he did invite her-it would be his first step towards weakening. After all, he had been always vulnerable around her.

He didn't want to be weak.

He frowned the minute he saw the vacant cabin. His head pivoted towards the two assistants who were sitting on their chairs, "Where did Ms. Smoak go?"

"I don't know," Evelyn stated and Oliver's brows came together, "She said she needed some air." The lines on his forehead disappeared as he understood.

She needed some air.

….

Felicity sat on the bench on the roof of the building. She wrapped her arms around herself and mentally cursed herself for not bringing her coat.

She looked down, her mind running a thousand miles an hour.

Day after tomorrow was a great day. One of the best days in Felicity's life but yet she forgot about it. Was this how important it was?

The guilt was clawing her from inside. How can she forget something so special? A set of twin tears rolled down her cheeks and she didn't bother wiping them as she knew soon, more would follow.

She forgot about it. Something that was supposed to be kept so precious and she didn't remember it. She briefly wondered if Grammy hadn't called-maybe she would have carried on with her life normally, without even realizing that she had missed a special day.

No, she couldn't forget about it.

That was just wrong.

So wrong.

She sniffed as her eyes flickered around. It had been more than four years since she had visited the rooftop of Queen Consolidated. It was her secret hideout. Only a few selective people knew about it. A place where she knew no one would disturb her.

A place where she came when she wanted to feel alone. A place she came to when she needed to think. Not many people visited the rooftop. Probably only the janitor. The roof mainly consisted of a couple of storerooms.

It was really high and that was probably the reason why she never neared the railing. Okay, maybe she did once or twice-it wasn't that great of an experience. The best part of the place was that it was really isolated which made Felicity love it.

Isolation, yeah.

All Felicity needed was to be alone.

…

Oliver held the pen tightly, his eyes skidding across the text that was written in the file. He snapped it shut the next second.

Isabel would probably kill him for that.

He didn't care.

He lacked focus.

His attention was getting deviated and he hated the feeling.

He dropped his pen as a sigh escaped his lips. He leaned completely against his chair as he contemplated the situation.

He raised his finger in the air before dropping it down-he shouldn't? Should he? He sighed at the last minute, knowing he wouldn't stop thinking about it otherwise-"Gerry,"

The assistant turned his attention towards the CEO in an instant before getting off his chair and moving into his office "Yes sir?"

"I need you to do something for me."

…

Felicity sighed as she brought her hands near her face before pressing her palms on her eyes as she took a deep breath. Her glasses had been discarded long ago because she felt the constant need to wipe her eyes.

Her palms felt wet and she wiped them against her eyes, trying to get rid of the wetness. Small thuds echoed across the small space and Felicity pivoted her head towards the source of it.

It was blurry.

She could tell it was a man though.

She pressed her eyes together as the residual tears escaped and her vision cleared, still not at its best though-"Gerry?" She murmured before wiping her cheeks and reaching for her glasses. The assistant smiled sheepishly and she could see a couple of things clutched in his hands-what was that? Pen boxes, pen stands-tissue boxes and Felicity was pretty sure they were other things in there that she couldn't make out, "What the hell?" She muttered as she stood up and Gerry gulped.

"I was just-" Gerry tried to wave his arms unsuccessfully, "Trying to help the janitor." A shadow crossed Felicity's face as she bit her lip, swallowing the doubts she had in mind.

She nodded and before she could realize what was happening, Gerry had walked past her and placed all the stuff near the bench that happened to be the closest to the storage room. She blinked and then, turned away.

Okay, no one was supposed to find her here.

"You look like," Gerry came towards Felicity, holding a tissue box and Felicity frowned, "Like you could use this." Felicity let out a breathy laugh as she took it,

"Thank you." She said she sat down, the box right beside her.

Okay, what else was she supposed to say?

"Since when do you help the janitor?" She frowned and Gerry muttered, "Since now." And Felicity's eyebrow furrowed, "What?"

"Since forever!" Gerry laughed before he had a lightbulb moment, his eyes widening momentarily.

He turned his eyes turned towards the exit, "Ah, I forgot to bring the key to the store room." He said as he moved his hands in his pocket and shot Felicity a nervous smile. "The key?" Felicity's eyebrows rose and Gerry nodded hastily, "I should leave." He pointed towards the door, his voice trailing off and Felicity gave him a slight nod at that.

Gerry breathed a sigh of relief as he started walking out. Felicity called out his name and he groaned internally, his eyes closing tightly, "Yes?" He turned around the next instant.

"Don't-" Felicity hesitated, "Don't tell anyone about this." Her voice trailed off before she added, "Especially Oliver."

Gerry gave her a thumbs up before he made an about turn, "He already knows." He murmured to himself as he started heading towards the lift.

…

When Gerry came downstairs, he made sure to nod towards Oliver who breathed a sigh of relief at the site of it.

Evelyn scrunched her nose as she looked at Gerry, "Why did you have to take all the supplies to the roof? What's the janitor for?" She questioned him and Gerry shook his head as he took his seat. "Perks of being the assistant." He laughed lightly.

Evelyn shook her head, a small laugh escaping her lips, "It just that, it makes no sense."

Gerry smiled knowingly, "It makes perfect sense actually."

….

**Six and a half years ago**

_"You know for someone who is afraid of heights," Oliver started and Felicity whipped her head in his direction, "It makes no sense," He paused, "You know, you coming to the terrace to clear your head which clearly is really high." He explained._

_Felicity's eyes widened for a second before she gained her momentum back and glared at him. She turned herself away from him as much as possible and Oliver smiled wryly, his hands tucked in his jean pocket._

_Felicity shifted lightly in her seat when she felt Oliver sit right beside her. He looked at her warily before speaking, "I guess I deserve the silent treatment."_

_Felicity pivoted her head in his direction as she narrowed her eyes, "You think?" And Oliver's right eyebrow rose, "This would sound a lot more threatening if your cheeks weren't wet." Felicity let out a sound-that sounded like a cross between a whine and a whimper before she rubbed her cheeks, trying to get rid of the traces, "What are you doing here, Oliver?"_

_"Well," Oliver began as he trailed off the word, "I figured out that I was being an asshole that day so I came here to apologize but as it turns out your friends told me you were upset and you needed some air," He paused, "So I looked for you and found you."_

_"You came to apologize?" She murmured and Oliver nodded his head, his lips curled inwards._

_Felicity scoffed at that she turned away and Oliver groaned. "Felicity-"_

_"You should go."_

_Oliver stayed adamant as he refused to leave, "I'm not going anywhere."_

_She had been with him whenever he needed and now it was his turn. He'll be damned if he left her alone._

_Felicity was simply tired. Frankly, she didn't even have the strength to fight. After a fifteen minute crying session clubbed with a hectic day-_

_She was exhausted._

_And he wasn't going to leave without answers, so she might as well talk to him, "What do you want Oliver?"_

_His voice was soft as he spoke, "I just want to know what is wrong with you." And Felicity could feel tears collecting in her eyes. "I-" She started and Oliver looked at her expectantly, "The supervisor told me to make a presentation for a project and when I saw the material-I made a few changes because I thought it would make it better." She stopped as she took a deep breath, "But I-I was wrong and he shouted at me in front of the entire staff." She burst into tears at the end of it and Oliver's mouth parted open, "You are crying because you got scolded?"_

_Felicity tried to muster a glare, "I've never been scolded in my entire life and he shouts at me in front of everyone!" She waved her arms in exaggeration while Oliver looked shocked, "Never been scolded in your entire life?" And Felicity whacked him in the arm, "Is that the only part you got?!" She sobbed and Oliver rubbed his arm as he realized she had started to cry._

"_Don't cry," Oliver moved his hands in the air as he curled them, hesitant to do anything. He was never good with crying women. The only crying girl he had ever comforted was Thea-and that was when he bribed her with ice cream. "Don't cry," And Felicity looked down, sobs wracking her small body._

_He didn't know how to make her stop but he didn't like seeing her cry._

_"Don't," Oliver muttered as he titled her chin in his direction. Her eyes were shiny and they looked brighter-if that was even possible, Oliver mused to himself-"Don't," He enunciated the word as his thumb wiped away the tear tracks on her cheeks, "Cry." He ended it at a soft note and Felicity looked at him as she blinked her eyes repeatedly._

_A moment of silence passed between them as Oliver ran his thumb along her cheek, a small smile on his lips. Felicity sighed softly as she leaned her head against his hand._

_It was a second later that realization dawned on her as their last conversation ran through her head and she snapped out of it before promptly moving away from him. "You should go."_

_"Oh come on," Oliver whined, waving his hands in the air the minute she moved away, "Are you seriously still thinking about our fight?" He waited for an answer but when he didn't get one, he spoke sarcastically, "Fine. Cry alone. Besides, who cries over getting scolded?" And Felicity narrowed her eyes at him, "If you can't help me then get out!"_

_Oliver chuckled at that, "I think you ae forgetting, my father's company." He started, "I can stay here as long as I want." He ended stubbornly, his tone still playful._

_Felicity looked at him as tears filled her eyes again and she cursed herself for being so sensitive, "And I am just an employee in your company?"_

_Oliver sighed, his face softening in a nanosecond, "Felicity." And Felicity turned her face away from him. "I'm sorry, alright? That was a dick move and I shouldn't have said it." On getting no response, he clenched his fists and he stared right ahead, "How about this? You want to cry, cry all you want. Just don't behave-"He looked at her, her blonde hair shining as the sun hit them-"Can we just forget about it for five minutes?"_

_He saw her stiffen and he knew she was listening._

_"For five minutes. Can we forget about our fight?" He asked politely and Felicity didn't look at him. He took a deep breath, "You want to cry-" He had figured it out._

_If Felicity wasn't going to stop crying, he wasn't going to force her to do it either. Sometimes the best way is to let it all out and he could see that this had clearly affected her. So, he was going to comfort her while she cried._

_It's the least he could do._

_"Cry all you want." He hesitated for a split second, "You-you can," His tone was tentative and he didn't even know why. "You can use my shoulder," He pointed at himself, his finger hovering in the air before he dropped his hand. His rubbed his fingers together, a nervous habit he had since he was kid._

_Why was he so nervous? He had seen her do that with Tommy before, hadn't he? Besides, he was Oliver Queen._

_Since when was he nervous around a girl?_

_But then again, he had seen a lot of firsts since he had met Felicity._

_He stared ahead, his eyes capturing the view that was before his eyes-it was indeed very beautiful._

_He waited for an answer._

_And waited._

_He didn't get any response._

_He mouth parted open, ready to speak when he felt a hand on his arm. He bit back a smile as Felicity placed her head on his shoulder, her hand curling tightly around his bicep, "Five minutes." She whispered softly and Oliver could feel droplets of tears falling on his T-shirt._

_Oliver turned his head, his lips hovering close to her golden hair, "Are you going to tell me now?" Felicity whimpered, "About what?"_

_"What did he say to you?"_

_Felicity tightened her hold on his arm and Oliver neared closer, "He said the truth. It was my fault." She started, "It's just that I've never been treated this way before." She sniffed and Oliver realized she wasn't crying anymore, "Back at MIT, I was one of the best students they had," She buried her head in the crook of his neck._

_Oliver loved how it felt._

_"My mum worked really hard for all of this and it all goes down the drain. When he shouted-I was just frustrated. I was really tired. I was awake for almost the entire night and then he screams at me in front of everyone. Everyone!" She exclaimed, "How bad is that for my professional career?" She stage whispered and Oliver placed his hand over hers._

_Felicity blinked rapidly at the contact._

_He squeezed her hand, "You are awesome at computers, Felicity. These things don't define you. We're humans, we make mistakes." He comforted her, "God knows the amount of mistakes that I have made in my life." He chuckled at that and he could even see a ghost of a smile on Felicity's face._

_"So, cheer up, okay?" He told her, "Small mistakes don't overshadow your career." He stated before adding, "Besides, you screwing up gives me hope."_

_Felicity pulled away instantly, although her hand still lingered on his bicep, "My screwing up gives you hope?"_

_Oliver grinned goofily, "If people from MIT can screw up, then I can sure as hell screw up." Felicity laughed at that before she noticed where her hand was. She pulled it away almost instantly and a spasm crossed Oliver's face._

_"Your T-shirt is wet." She pointed out as she stared at the wet blotches on his black tee. Oliver smirked in return, "Do you want me to take it off?" He asked suggestively and was rewarded by her laughter._

_Felicity giggled at that before she took a deep breath and removed her glasses, ready to wipe them when Oliver snatched it out of her hands. "Oliver!" She said, her tone full of astonishment. She saw Oliver wipe her glasses with his T-shirt and she rolled her eyes, a breathy laugh escaping her lips as she rubbed her hands across her cheeks._

_Her eyes flickered towards Oliver, wanting to fetch her spectacles when she gasped before dissolving into a fit of giggles as she saw she saw Oliver's eyes blinking behind her glasses._

_He was wearing them._

_He looked really cute._

_He scrunched his nose as he looked around, everything seemed blurry to him, "How can you see from them?" And Felicity smirked as she pulled it out using both her hands, "They are designed for my eyes, not yours."_

_A second later, she wore them before she blinked rapidly. She looked at Oliver who grinned at her, "Thank you." She told him before she got up and Oliver's expression looked hopeful as he asked her, "Does that mean I'm forgiven?"_

_Felicity didn't talk for few seconds as she started to walk away, "Felicity!" She turned around and grinned at him. Walking backwards, she showed him her entire palm, "Five minutes."_

_"What?" Oliver turned to look at his watch as he realized it had been more than five minutes, "Oh, come on!" Felicity shot him one last look before she walked out and Oliver moved his entire weight forward, his back arching as his hands joined together. He grinned to himself._

_At least he made her smile._

…

"I tried making her smile," Ray pointed out and Courtney rolled her eyes at that, "Really?" Courtney asked him, "And how did you manage to comfort a girl who just got her heart broken by a guy?"

"I-" Ray rubbed a hand against his neck, "I sort of danced and cracked jokes." This made Courtney giggle in surprise as Ray blushed. She pulled his right cheek before grinning, "You're so adorable." She gushed, "I knew there was a reason I fell for you."

Ray laughed a little at that, "She is like a sister, you know."

"I know," Courtney smiled knowingly.

"Who is like a sister?" Felicity decided to enter the conversation as she moved inside the house, her hand clutching onto the bags of food she got from Big Belly Burger.

"You," Ray answered her in an instant and Felicity grinned as she headed towards the kitchen, placing the bags on the countertop.

"Did you guys book the tickets?" She asked as she walked out of there and made a beeline towards the couch.

"Tomorrow," Courtney stated as she shifted slightly, allowing Felicity to sit beside her, "Five pm."

Silence surrounded them for the next minute as Felicity fiddled with her hands, trying to find the right words, "I forgot." She whispered, her eyes still focused on her entangled fingers.

Ray's eyebrows furrowed as he shared a look with Courtney, "Forgot what?"

"Day after-" Felicity looked up, her hands separating, "Tomorrow." She ended and Ray's eye widened, his eyebrows rising, "You forgot?" His tone was nonchalant and Felicity gasped, "Yes! How come you are not making a big deal out of this?"

"Because," Courtney started, "You would have remembered it by then and plus, every year you are sulking before it." And Felicity narrowed her eyes, "I do not sulk!"

Courtney narrowed her eyes, "You do which sucks, because tenth February is an awesome day." And Felicity rubbed her fingers as she spoke, "It is but-" She stopped, her eyes turning glossy.

"I know," Courtney whispered softly, "We understand." Ray neared his chair against the blonde as Courtney continued, "Which I why this time we want you to understand something," Felicity lifted her head, "You're going to do it." Courtney said and hearing this both Ray and Felicity's eyes widened as the realization dawned on them,

"What?"

"I can't-" Felicity stuttered and Courtney's gaze softened, "Listen to me once, okay? It's been three years Felicity. And you have moved on." She paused momentarily as if checking if Felicity was paying attention or not.

She was.

"You have built a life for yourself. So, maybe it's time-to let go of the past completely. To finally get this closure." She looked at Ray who nodded, "When Ray said that the reason why he wants you here in Starling City is to get closure, I hesitated. But you know what? As I thought about it, I realized-he was right." She looked at her husband who passed a small smile her way. "You need closure." She patted her shoulder, "Accepting reality is the first step towards it. You need to accept what has happened."

Felicity sniffed and before she could muster a reply, Courtney started speaking again, "It's up to you. We just want the best for you. Be the heroine of your own life, rather than being the victim." She told her a saying she once read during her school days and a ghost of a smile came of Felicity's face, "I'll think about it?" Her answer came off as a question and Courtney smiled warmly, "Yeah." She paused, "And whatever decision you make, we're okay with it. Alright?"

Felicity nodded and Courtney pushed herself off the couch, "So, what did you bring?" She looked at the bags and her eyes brightened, "Did you get food from Big Belly Burger?" She asked, her voice full of delight and Felicity shot a small smile her way and nodded.

Courtney made her way inside the kitchen. She entered the area before looking around for the utensils. She could make out that Ray was talking to Felicity through the side windows of her eyes, she smiled involuntarily.

Maybe his talk would affect her too.

Courtney initially was hesitant in letting her come to Starling, who wouldn't be? It was clear that the Queen Family hated her but then Ray talked about closure and she realized he was right. She wanted to voice her opinion about Oliver too. Despite the fact the couple had broken up three years, she still believed that there was still hope for them.

His family had been protective of him and which is why they were mean. But with Oliver it was different. He was blinded-that is what Courtney believed. She tried to talk about it but Ray continued to cut her off and when she did have the chance, she realized that Ray really did hate him. So she kept quiet.

Despite everything, she hoped she was right. It was clear that Felicity still cared for Oliver, heck she even loved him and she hoped he did too.

Maybe this was the push the two of them needed.

She just hoped for the best.

…

**Six Years Ago**

_"Here's to hoping for the best!" Tommy shouted as the four people clinked their glasses together, wide smiles on their face._

_It was the opening of Verdant. The party was in full swing, an awesome response on the first day itself and Oliver couldn't help but grin at that._

_Tommy leaned in closer as he whispered to Oliver, "Thanks you know," He told him and Oliver's brows furrowed, "For everything." He elaborated and Oliver realized what he was talking about, "Are you kidding me?" He laughed as he placed the glass on the nearby table before the two shared a hug, "You did most of the work."_

_Laurel smiled widely as he watched the two. Felicity meanwhile had walked away from the group to check up on the caterer._

_She felt a little out of place._

_"Actually," Tommy's voice trailed off the minute he separated from his best friend, "There is someone else who did all the work." Laurel's face faltered slightly as she realized the minute Tommy said that, Oliver's eyes flickered towards the blonde woman who had been his centre of attention for weeks now._

_"And she is still working." Tommy said, his voice laced with appreciation for Felicity who was talking to the caterer. Oliver patted his shoulder lightly before he started making a beeline towards Felicity._

_"Oli-"Oliver didn't really hear Laurel as he walked towards Felicity. The brunette bit her lip, her face recoiling in pain. Seeing this, Tommy decided to jump in, "So, what do you think of the new club?"_

_Laurel gave him a small smile._

…

_Oliver walked towards Felicity, a wide smile on his face. He really wanted to thank her for everything-all of this, he still couldn't believe that Tommy and he owned a club._

_A freaking club._

_He was stopped short by a brunette appearing in front of him and he blinked, "McKenna?" The cop grinned widely, "Long time no see, Oliver."_

_He nodded his head as the two shared a hug. "I didn't know that Tommy invited you." He stated and McKenna pretended to be offended, "Yeah, he did. You forgot about me, Queen. I should arrest you for that." She laughed and Oliver shook his head, "Actually, it's been-"_

_"I get it." She understood and Oliver breathed a sigh of relief, "But I must say, you guys have done an amazing job." Oliver grinned at the compliment, "Thank you." He looked at her empty hands and frowned, "Why aren't you having anything?" McKenna looked at him, surprised. "Excuse me?" He waved a hand in the air and a waiter started to walk in their direction._

_"You certainly have changed." She laughed, though her tone was full of appreciation, "And now I know why your girlfriend and you get along. It seems like you two share the same thoughts," She picked up a glass from the tray and the waiter took this as his cue and left._

_Oliver frowned, "Laurel?" Lines appeared on his forehead and McKenna's eyes widened momentarily, "You're dating Laurel?" Her tone was laced with surprise and Oliver blinked, "What about the blonde right there?" She asked, she jerked her thumb backwards and Oliver tilted his head to look past her head._

_Felicity._

_He instantly shook his head, "She is not my girlfriend." He clarified, "Just-just a friend." He ended, although his mind was running a thousand miles an hour._

_She was just a friend, wasn't she?_

_A very special friend._

_"Could have fooled me," She giggled and Oliver blanched, "Yeah. I-I should go." He said, his voice sounding distant and McKenna nodded, "I was nice meeting you. Keep in touch,"_

_Oliver smiled, "Yeah. You too." This was the end of their conversation as McKenna got lost in the crowd. Oliver stood right there as he replayed McKenna's words._

_Girlfriend?_

_A push snapped him out of his thoughts. Someone bumped into him and his mind finally focused. "Tommy?" He said after a moment as he realized that the person was his best friend._

_Tommy flashed him a lopsided grin, "Hey Ollie." Oliver blinked repeatedly, "Are you drunk? Tommy, I left you for only fifteen minutes!" He exclaimed as he noticed his dilated pupils and staggering form._

_Tommy laughed loudly and Oliver eyebrows furrowed as he finally asked her, "Tommy, does everyone think that Felicity is my girlfriend?"_

_Tommy Merlyn was an honest drunk._

_Oliver could trust him._

_"Duh," Tommy laughed loudly, "You two are so adorable!" He exclaimed and Oliver looked surprised, certainly not expecting this, "Why?" He asked the next second and Tommy stiffened._

_"Why?" He muttered, "He asks why." He laughed loudly and he pushed his hand against Oliver's forehead, "You're really dumb."_

_Oliver didn't reply and Tommy continued, "You are so confident when it comes to girls. But you turn into a stutteri-stutte-stuttering idiot when it comes to her." He ranted off, "She believes in you, she doesn't judge you and she can tolerate you." He tilted his head as if thinking, "And she is the first one you turned to for comfort. Not even me." He pointed towards himself, "And I am your best friend." He declared as he narrowed his eyes at him._

_"You can't see her cry and you sent her chocolates daily when you guys were fighting. You were so jealous when she went on a date with that Brad guy." He waved his arms, "You say she is beautiful. You call a girl sexy, pretty-but beautiful?" He asked rhetorically._

_"Dude, you are so whipped and you don't even know it!" He giggled at the end and Oliver bit his lip. Tommy pushed his forehead with his hand, "Dumber!" He chuckled, "She is never wrong." He frowned a second later, "Know it all." He mumbled before his eyes focused on something behind Oliver, "Charlotte!"_

_He patted Oliver's shoulder before he smirked, "Don't wait for me tonight!" He winked at him before shouting again, "Charlotte!"_

_Oliver let Tommy go, lines appeared on his forehead as his mind recalled his best friend's words._

_Jealousy._

_You can't see her cry._

_She believes in you._

_She did make him feel something. Emotions that he had never felt before._

_And now, it was crisp and clear._

_He breathed a laugh as his forehead cleared. His lips curling up as he grinned widely, the realization dawning on him._

_He couldn't stop smiling._

_He snapped out of his reverie when he felt an arm on his shoulder. His head turned right as he realized, Felicity was leaning against him, her elbow resting on his shoulder._

_"Where's Tommy?"_

_Oliver sighed lightly as he answered her, "Drunk and lost." Felicity giggled at that, "Of course he would be. The girls here look so gorgeous. It seems like Merlyn and you are doomed."_

_Oliver looked at her. She was looking at him, her eyes blinking behind her glasses. She was wearing a black dress-which in Oliver's opinion was sexy as hell. He remembered his mouth dropping open at the site of her._

_But that wasn't the only thing that got to him._

_"You're right, I am doomed." He countered and Felicity turned her attention towards him._

_"The girls here look gorgeous as hell but I can't stop thinking about how cute you look in those glasses."_

_Felicity blinked._

**So, like it? Love it-you know the drill, don't you? **

**Review or PM me your thoughts? Also, if you have any ideas-do tell me :D**

**What exactly between Oliver and Felicity? Or better yet, what is going to happen in two days?**

**Thanks for reading **

**Do review! They motivate us to write more.**

**Next Update : March 14 **

**P.S how many of you read my authors note?**

**Signing out, **

**Fanfics4you x**


	10. Chapter Nine : Saying Goodbye

**Hola! **

**I know, I know.**

**Bitch.**

**She didn't update.**

**But I had no time! **

**Also, please note this if by any chance I don't update on the said date, I will upload in the next ten days, okay?**

**Promise.**

**My Twelfth Grade started. **

**And it's a bitch. They have been grilling us so hard plus I study five hours in school and the worse part? It's only four days in.**

**Ah, studies.**

**BUT I HAVE SO MUCH TO RANT ABOUT!**

**PaleyFest- Jajajaja, how adorable is Emily? And David with the whole Oliver finding his island and "Put a ring on it." And and fellow Canadians hahaha.**

**Flash Panel – Idk how many times have I watched that kid repeat the introduction of Flash. **

**Can I just say that Aisha Tyler rocks? Amazing. The paleyfest would have been so boring without her.**

**IS ROY GOING TO DIE? I'M GOING TO SUE THE ARROW WRITERS. I THOUGHT THAT SARA WAS THE PERSON TO BE KILLED THIS SEASON. I'M STILL NOT OVER TOMMY!**

**NO, JUST NO. NO LANCE, NO ROY. **

**KILL FELICITY.**

**THEN SHOW US OLIVER.**

**THEN BRING HER BACK.**

**BRING. HER. BACK.**

**I LOVE HER.**

**3X17 TODAY BITCHES :D "LOVE IS A BULLET" FOCUS ON OLICITY AND SHE CATCHES THE BOUQUET.. *CRIES IN A CORNER***

**MY SHIP SAILS.**

**OLICITY HAPPINESS IN 3X16. AH, AH. PALMER GO TO HELL. IT'S OLICITY!**

"**As long as you're in my life, I'm happy."**

**DID SHE JUST SAY I LOVE YOU TO OLIVER IN A TWISTED WAY.**

***NODS HEAD VIGOUROUSLY* YES SHE DID.**

**AND**

**SHE BROUGHT HIS LIGHT AGAIN.**

**FELICITY MEGHAN SMOAK, BITCHES.**

**Thea and Merlyn. **

**I like Merlyn. Although if they have to kill a character in 3x20 it might as well be him. But what is it with daddy issues in Arrow?**

**Laurel, Lance doesn't talk to her.**

**Felicity, father left WHO IS REALLY HOPE IS THE BIG BAD IN SEASON 4. OLICITY MOMENTS PLUS BRTAVA OLIVER.**

**GOD PLEASE.**

**Thea, father drugged her to kill a family friend.**

**Go daddies!**

**CAPTAIN AMELL! 3X20 DAMN SO EXCITED. I WANT AN I LOVE YOU FROM FELICITY AND MAYBE EVEN SOME *COUGH* *COUGH***

**AHHHH SO MUCH IN THE FANDOM. EXCITED AND MAMA SMOAK. DON'T KILL LANCE.**

**SMOAKLANCE**

**AND AND FOUNDRY DESTROYED. NO NO NO ..OLCIITY FERN? *TEARS ROLL DOWN* SALMON LADDER *GASPS***

**THEY ARE SO MANY THINGS THAT POINT OUT THAT ROY IS DYING. MY HEART JUST BREAKS **

"**DON'T ABANDON ME."**

"**NEVER."**

**MY EYES ARE SWEATING**

**DEADSHOT IS BACK. I LOVE HIM. OUR MATCHMAKER. **

**I SHIP CUPIDSHOT.**

"**MY HERO."**

**I JUST FOUND ANOTHER SHIP**

**SIGH**

**AS IF OLICITY, BELLARKE, DARVEY..AND MANY MORE AREN'T ENOUGH.**

**I STILL MISS KLAROLINE.**

**AND SO ANGSTY.**

**HUH**

**ALSO, REMEMBER WHEN I ASKED YOU GUYS ABOUT SNOWBARRY AND WESTALLEN.**

**I JUST HAD A REALIZATION.**

**EVERYONE ON FLASH IS SHIPPABLE WITH EVERYONE.**

**I SHIP SNOWBARRY MORE THOUGH.**

**OKAY, OKAY.**

**STILL WITH ME?**

**GOOD. **

***THROWS PICTURES OF FELICITY COMFORTING AND DOING THE SEXY WALK WITH OLIVER***

***Throws video clips of Stephen saying Emily is Emily and we love Emily.***

**RANT OVER –**

**So, sup people? Hahahaha..I hope you like today's chapter. It is NOT betaed, totally my fault. But the amazing KAMAZA would beta later on.**

**I just wanted to update ASAP.**

**People who would comment "The grammer sukss." Then would you please also tell me what sucks? ( so that I can correct it and enjoy your awesome spelling skills, too?)**

**Thank you in no particular order :**

**xXxnightstarxXx, ashley2060, wazo29, Queen Peacock, babyshan221, CealSR, Guest(1),YOuNMcK33, .9,N, championofjustice27, va09,dearg amadon, guest(2), The not normal one ( love the name), Lhewitt, Lys Dis, RinaTui, OneTreeFan, MeganHaze, SH, lucy1997, wellwisher123, anonymous4nowx, Hecate-Sun, Mali-chorkey, Theresa, Ashleigh, alero.**

***Throws pictures of Oliver shirtless in the future episodes***

**Finally!**

**And is he not dying.**

**Just on the verge of becoming the most handsome devil ever. (3x21)**

**No pressure.**

**Responses : **

**Wellwisher123- I love you too :* **

**Waz029 – I love you so much! I mean, your reviews are amazing and they give me the boost to actually write more :D**

**Thank you so much :***

**Queen Peacock – Aww, thank you so much **** This is such a great compliment x ( I bet you don't even remember what you wrote..hahah)**

**ChampionofJustice27 – Thanks a ton babe xx**

**Dearg Amadan- I love the name btw. Also, thank you and so sorry. I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

**The not normal one – idk, wait and watch. I really suck at this :P**

**Va09 – I love you, you know that right?**

**Also, I have decided to PM everyone. I mean the responses, it's the least I could do. I would conquer my laziness.**

**Yeah, I would.**

**How many of you forgot what you reviewed? Hahahahaha :P**

**PS I LOVE THE THEORY. MANY OF YOU ARE RIGHT…YEAH, WE HAVE AN INTELLIGENT FANDOM. EVEN MARC GUGGENHEIM KNOW THIS *POSES PROUDLY***

**IF YOU WANT READ THE ENTIRE STORY AGAIN, I'VE LEFT HINTS THROUGH OUT. MAYBE YOU GUYS CAN ACTUALLY PUT TWO AND TWO TOGETHER.**

**YOU GET FOUR.**

**LAME …HAHAHA**

**SO, LET'S START, SHALL WE?**

**Disclaimer : I don't own anything that seems familiar.**

**Word Count : 8520**

"**Does it hurt?"**

"**Not as much as somethings." – Oliver Queen, 2x02, Arrow.**

**Chapter Nine : Settling Things.**

They are some things in life you realize later on.

Well, the typical meaning of later on being in the next few hours.

It's mostly your ego that refuses to accept it.

Just like Ray Palmer did.

Well, minus the ego part.

He did agree with his wife about going back to Central city and finally providing Felicity with the opportunity to get closure. He appreciated it and thought it was the right choice to make.

But then the night came in.

And so did weird thoughts. Thoughts that scared the crap out of him. It is often said that girls have the nature of overthinking, but guess what?

So did men.

He kept on thinking about worst case scenarios. He honestly wouldn't have minded leaving if the situation was stable but with tomorrow being an important day for her, he was hesitant. It was an important day for all of them. He still remembered it and as much as it hurt him, he knew he had to keep her above him.

And he was.

Which is why he was scared. Scared of leaving her alone and as much of a great day it was, he knew that emotionally it would affect her and especially with the suggestion that Courtney had expressed the day before, it was going to be a big one.

And he wanted to be there for her.

…

"We're not going." Ray declared the minute he entered the room. Felicity had left seconds ago and Ray finally had the opportunity to tell Courtney that they weren't leaving.

Telling.

Not asking.

Courtney blinked, her hands stopping mid-air, her fingers tightening on the cloth she was holding, "What?" She asked as she threw Ray's shirt in the suitcase clumsily.

"We're not leaving." Ray repeated, his tone firm and Courtney's eyebrows hiked up, "And may I ask what made you change your mind overnight?"

Ray's eye flickered towards the ground momentarily before he looked up, "She needs us."

Realization dawned on Courtney as her face softened, "I know, Ray. But you've got to trust me on this-"

"Your trust can go to hell!" He told her, his voice raised and Courtney flinched before regaining her momentum, "Don't raise your voice at me." She stated firmly while crossing her arms across her chest. Ray rolled his eyes, "Court, why don't you understand-"

"Why don't you understand?" She moved her arms in the air to create emphasis, "She needs to do this alone, Ray. This was our fight but now it is just hers! She needs to face it on her own!" Ray glared at her as he patted his right foot against the floor, "Don't think that I don't know what you're doing."

Courtney blanched, "I'm sorry?"

"You want them to get back together." He stated and Courtney bit her lip before replying, "I just want her to confront the truth. If she faces one truth, she'll be emotionally be ready to face the other one. We need to stop babying her Ray. She has to face this alone, Ray." She tried to put her point forward and Ray rubbed a hand across his face, "Courtney, you don't get it-" He pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Then help me get it." She told him and she walked towards him, "What's wrong?"

"I saw the way she was before, Court. You all still don't know the entire story-it's complicated. I can't risk it." He shook his head frantically, "I can't risk her falling into the same pattern again."

Realization dawned on the brunette, "You're afraid she'll try to commit suicide again, aren't you?"

Ray took a deep breath, "Yes." He answered her after a moment of silence, "I'm afraid she'll coil into herself again."

"She won't," Courtney countered, "She was vulnerable then, Ray. She regrets that decision, she is a strong woman. She won't falter, we'll make sure of it." She paused, "But we can't always baby her, can we? It's been three years, if not now then when?" She asked him and Ray sighed, "I-I don't know." He mumbled before pressing the heels of his palms on his eyes, "I don't know."

"She'll make it through, Ray. She will. We are there for her either way. She is strong, has always been." Ray nodded his head twice, "She has always been strong, Court. But what happened years ago had shook her-" he blinked rapidly as a realization dawned on him. A second later, he turned around promptly leaving the room.

"Where are you going?"

"Making sure she doesn't falter." He repeated her words before he made a beeline towards the door.

It's about time he pays someone a visit.

….

Courtney bit her lip as she walked out of the room, her hand lingering on the banister. She saw her husband's retreating figure climbing down the stairs and she sighed as she realized what he was up to.

In a way he was doing the right thing, but on the other hand the consequences of his actions could be bad. If there was anything that she learned at the funeral was that Oliver Queen hated Ray Palmer.

Just like he hated him.

Her lips formed an 'o' shape as she let out a deep breath, her hand tightening on the railing. She let it go a second later, turning around.

She needed to meet someone too.

…

Courtney bit back a retort as she clambered out of the cab after shoving some money into the driver's hand.

Felicity wasn't lying when she said that Starling City's cab services sucked. Ah, why did Ray have to send the driver back to Central City?

Yeah, because they were supposed to go back.

And now she might not be sure about that too.

Ahh!

The only good thing out of this situation was that she had finally reached her destination, an hour late though but she was happy.

She blinked, her hands pushing the glass door as she entered Big Belly Burger. Her eyes shifted towards the counter before she stalked towards it. There were huge lines in front of the counter and she briefly wondered how popular this place was when in the noon itself there were so many people present there.

She chose to stand beside it and question a waiter who was at the opposite end and clearly wasn't busy. "I am looking for Ms. Carly Diggle." She hoped she got the name right and almost bit back a grin as the waiter nodded.

He pointed behind her and Courtney turned her head. Mumbling a thank you in his direction, she walked towards the lady the guy had pointed at. She reached her, stopping when she realized that she was talking to the couple sitting on the table.

She waited.

And waited.

Two seconds later, the lady turned around and Courtney almost sighed in relief, "Carly Diggle?" She found herself asking and a frown adorned the woman's face for a split second before she gave a slight nod.

Courtney stumbled for the right words, "You don't know me." She said, the pace of her words rather fast, "My name is Courtney Palmer. Felicity's friend," Carly smiled at that.

"I was looking for Mr. John Diggle."

…

Oliver Queen stood near the glass wall in his cabin or well, soon to be his cabin. Felicity's office was almost ready and soon, the two CEOs won't be sharing a cabin anymore.

He sighed for the umpteenth time that day as he stared outside.

It is often said that an empty mind is a devil's workshop.

Well, the thoughts that were appearing in his ideal mind weren't devious but it certainly weren't helping him either. He didn't even know why he came at the office today. They had cancelled all the appointments for the next two days much to the chagrin of Isabel Rochev but Oliver could care less.

During these days Oliver chose to be left alone. Despite the heart-warming memories of this day, he couldn't help but grieve silently.

It was his way to deal with the problem.

Seclusion.

Even if it brought memories. Most of them were happy ones and he found himself caught in an emotional battle whether to laugh about them or cry because they are now in the past.

It was weird.

The onslaught of emotions that he felt during these days.

He snapped out of his thoughts as a voice reached his ears, "Sir? There is someone here to meet you."

"I thought I cancelled all the appointments," Oliver frowned as he turned towards Evelyn who shot him a sheepish smile, "Actually-"

"I don't think I need an appointment, Queen." Ray finally joined in the conversation and one gesture from Oliver was enough for Evelyn to a make a move. She closed the glass door on her way out.

Ray crossed his arms as he stared at Oliver, "I think it's about time we have a chat."

Oliver's jaw locked as he glared at him.

…

**Six Years Ago**

_Oliver glared at his two friends who were grinning at him._

_Yeah, well. Rather than helping him, they chose to grin._

_What were they? Girls?_

_It is often said that it takes a second to realize that you are falling for someone._

_Falling is long part but the realization kick most of the time just takes seconds._

_It's like a switch going off._

_Where you start seeing a person in a different light._

_Sometimes, you realize it on your own. Sometimes, your friends need to make you realize it._

_That's exactly what happened with Oliver._

_He had found himself thinking about Felicity beforehand. Of course, he did. But now that he realized his feelings for her, he can't stop thinking about her that way._

_He had always thought of her that way. But he had realized it now._

_Ah, since when was _love_ so complicated?_

_Tommy walked out of the room where Oliver sat, entering the kitchen. John was standing near the kitchen island, a can of beer in his hand, "He is a goner." Tommy laughed and John nodded, "About time." He answered him._

"_Do you think he realizes he is in love with her?"_

"_No," John shot him a smirk, "We all know that his head is shoved up his ass. It's going to take time. He realized that he likes her more than a friend, not love."_

"_Do I need to get drunk for that too?" Tommy asked him, his tone full of amusement and John took a sip from his beer, "Love is something he will realize on his own, Tommy. Even now, you made him _see_ it. He has been feeling this for a long time." He paused, "You know him. He has always been obtuse. Eventually, he'll come around." His eyebrow rose, "And if not, we're there."_

"_And how long will that take?"_

_John patted his shoulder, "I don't know, Tommy." He started walking out of the kitchen, "How long did it take you to realize that you loved Laurel?"_

_Tommy curled his lips inward, his lips forming a thin line as he watched his friend's retreating figure._

_John Diggle._

_Always the wisest._

…

Courtney had heard a lot about John Diggle.

He was probably the one person Felicity was in contact while she was in Central City.

Well, apart from Robert and Judith occasionally.

He had to be special.

She was going to talk to him about her.

She would be damn if she let anything happen to her friend.

…

"Just the person I wanted to see," Oliver's voice was laced with sarcasm. He walked towards the desk before standing right in front of it, "Here to pick up your girlfriend?" His eyebrows hiked up, trying to sound as innocent as impossible.

Ray gritted his teeth, "Really, Oliver? Is that the best you can come up with?" He rolled his eyes, "I don't want to sugar coat anything. Stay the hell from Felicity."

"Excuse me?"

"Stay the fuck away from Felicity. I am leaving Starling but that doesn't mean you can do whatever you want with her. So, I'm here to tell you in simple words, stay away from her." Oliver blinked momentarily before he responded, "Leaving so soon? Why? Didn't Starling treat you well? Or better yet, " He paused to give a dramatic effect, "Didn't Felicity treat you well?"

A look full of sheer protection crossed Ray's face.

Oliver's fist clenched. He made a beeline towards him, "I should have done this a long time ago."

He punched him.

He felt angry. God knows for how long he had wanted to hit this guy. His name made his blood boil.

He punched him and Ray retaliated. Oliver moved his head sideways as he blocked a punch but then another one came his way and a second later, he felt the familiar metallic taste of blood in his mouth. He moved his leg up, hitting Ray in the stomach before punching in his stomach. Ray groaned before he moved his arm up, hitting Oliver in his jaw.

It was a pretty gruesome fight.

It could have been worse.

Had it not been the two assistants who had rushed to call Felicity. They tried calling John too who happened to be the head of the security department but he wasn't available. Resorting to just Felicity they just hoped she would calm the two down.

Felicity rushed in, her voice rising, "What the hell is going on in here?" She hastily made her way inside the office, "Should we call the security-"

Felicity gave Evelyn a sharp look, "No security."

"Ray!" She shouted a second later, stepping between the two as she clutched his bicep, "Let him go!" Ray glared at her but didn't stop.

"God dammit you two! Stop!" She said as she used all her strength to moved Oliver's hand that was holding Ray's collar, "Oliver!"

It happened it a split second.

Oliver's grip slackened before he moved his arm away. Felicity didn't have the time to analyse the situation because a second later, she felt a gust of wind hit her-a growl echoing in the office as Oliver moved his hand to punch her.

She closed her eyes tightly, lines marring her forehead waiting for the impact but it never came.

She popped one eye open only to see Oliver's fist hovering in the air. She could see trails of blood on the bandage. She was pretty sure that he had injured himself.

Oliver's expression softened for a nanosecond, his shoulders sagging before he glared at her harshly. Felicity flinched lightly as Oliver unclenched his fist, his fingers moving in thin air as if wanting to hold something, "You…you should go." He muttered before giving Ray a sharp look, "Get the fuck out of here."

Ray was furious, "How da-"Felicity squeezed his bicep rather harshly and he turned his gaze towards her. Felicity looked at him, her eyes wide. She shook her head slowly whilst bringing her hand towards his face, she turned it a little towards the left, trying to analyse the bruise on his right cheek. She bit her lip as she saw that.

He had a busted lip, a pretty gruesome cut on his right cheek and near his right eye. It seemed like Oliver had taken out all the frustration at him meanwhile, Ray had done the same. Oliver had ended up with a busted lip, blood dripped down from the corner of his mouth, his cheek was turning black and blue and Felicity was pretty sure that his fist was broken.

She let out a puff of air. She knew that the two of them were angry and anything that she would say now would fuel their anger.

So, she chose to remain quiet.

Ray narrowed his eyes at her and Felicity pulled his arm, trying to get him out of the office, "Let's go."

Oliver let out a sigh as he stared at their retreating figures, "You hear her, Palmer? Get out," Oliver sneered, his eyes fixated on the paperweight in front of him. He was standing against the shorter side of the table, his hands pressed at its corners as he leaned his entire weight on it. "Or is there something else you need?" He turned his head towards the two.

"God knows you've always had a habit of taking all my leftovers."

Felicity stopped dead in her tracks. She had honestly tried to get out of here without saying a word to him. He was already very angry and so was Ray, she wasn't about to instigate him and then cause another fight.

But this was enough.

She felt Ray stiffen and she knew he was about to retaliate too. The two exchanged a look before Felicity whipped her head, turning it towards Oliver, "Say that again."

Something in her had just snapped.

Leftover?

Oliver blinked rapidly before he smirked and Felicity was pretty sure that she didn't know the person who was standing in front of her. "Say that again." Felicity gritted her teeth as she crossed her arms, "Just because I am quiet, doesn't mean I can't speak, alright?" Ray bit back a smile as she shouted in her loud voice, "Don't take my silence for my weakness."

"I am not your fucking leftover," Felicity swore and Oliver's mouth parted open for a split second, shock evident on his face. He regretted his words in an instant but chose to ignore that feeling.

He wasn't _supposed to _regret them.

"Yes, it's true that you did leave me but that makes you a coward for not fighting for us," She enunciated the word 'coward', "And that certainly doesn't make me your leftover. I am not your leftover." She glared at him, blue eyes wide behind her glasses, "Don't forget that I tried to fight for us while you let go. That doesn't make me a leftover, instead it makes me strong and it makes _you _weak."

Felicity watched while Oliver didn't utter a word. He had loads to say but something had happened.

He was speechless.

Felicity shot him a look before turning around and walking out of the office.

Ray grinned merely before he followed her, a proud smile on his face.

A blank look situated itself on Oliver's face. His hands lay limp by his side. He twitched his fingers, an old habit of his and hissed in pain when he moved his right hand fingers.

They hurt.

But not as much as some things.

…

"Stupid, stupid, stupid." Felicity muttered to herself as she paced in her newly made office. It was in its final stages, she would finally be shifting day after tomorrow-tomorrow being preoccupied due to obvious reasons.

"What did you?" She muttered finally looking towards Ray, her pace fast before she made a one eighty degree turn, "What did you do?!" She asked her best friend who was holding an ice pack over his right eye, "I just wanted to warn him." He shrugged.

"Warn him?!" Felicity narrowed her eyes, "What is this? Some sort of high school drama? Come on Ray! You know that I can take care of myself."

"I know," Ray's voice trailed off and Felicity raised her eyebrows at that, "Okay, I had my doubts." He admitted, "But seeing you stand up for yourself today, I'm confident. You can take care of yourself."

Felicity let out a huff before she sat on her chair, behind the desk, her lips curled up ever so slightly, "I really did, didn't I?" She grinned before she clapped her hands, "I mean, I've been wanting to do this for soooo long!" She pressed her hands on the table, "He called me a leftover, Ray. His leftover. I mean, who the hell does he think he is?" She muttered, "You remember, when I told you about how my dad left and that-"

"That's what people called you." Ray nodded, "I know." He quietened.

"He knew it too." Felicity murmured, "He still said it." Her voice had become soft.

"But you totally burned him, "Ray tried to cheer up while waving his free hand in the air and Felicity let out a small laugh, "I did. But what you did out there was stupid."

"He started the fight."

"He could have sued you!"

"My wife is a lawyer!" He countered back and Felicity sighed, "Who is going to kill you by the way, but-"

"No buts." Ray stood up, "You did an awesome job. You should have seen his face." He frowned, "And you need to fix this up." He said gesturing to the cut on his cheek that had been cleaned but still needed a band aid. He walked inside the washroom and Felicity nodded her head slightly, Ray's words ricocheting in her head.

"You should have seen his face," She murmured lightly, his face flashing in front of her eyes. She shook her head, trying not to think about it.

Nope, never.

Pushing the chair backwards, she stood up, her eyes looking outside the glass door where she found Oliver staring at her.

She stopped in her actions. She saw his hand curling up before he turned his face away from her and walked away.

She let out a hoarse chuckle at that before pressing the edge of her hand to the corner of her left eye, trying to stop the tear that had been close to escaping.

…

**Six Years Ago**

_Oliver Queen wanted to escape the restaurant._

_Like really._

_Because it was pissing him off the way Felicity was ranting about Ray._

_Her best friend._

_Or maybe more than a friend._

_The thought just killed him on the inside. It was like that Brad guy all over him, he remembered following her to the restaurant that day because he wanted to check if the guy was good enough for her or not._

_He wasn't._

_No one will ever be._

_Not even him._

_She was Felicity._

_Felicity was busy babbling, her hands moving in the air and he instantly noticed the red nail polish on her nails. He laughed a little at that. Felicity frowned, her nose scrunching, "What are you laughing about?"_

_Oliver instantly started shaking his head, "Nothing." Felicity brought her arm on the table and leaned her head on the palm of her right hand, "You're lying." She stated simply and Oliver moved his head back before he tilted his head sideways, his eyebrows hiking up in gesture that said 'Really?', "Am I?"_

_Felicity nodded, "You weren't listening to me!" She said as she shoved him lightly with her left hand and Oliver defended himself, "I was." Felicity pouted her lips involuntarily, "What was I talking about?"_

_Oliver was taken back before he let out his signature sighy laugh, "Something about Ray and computers?" He moved his hands trying to emphasize and Felicity laughed, "Have you ever listened to me? Like ever? Or is this the same every time?"_

"_I do listen to you!"_

"_What am I allergic to?"_

"_Peanuts."_

"_At MIT, what did I major in?"_

"_In computer sciences and cyber security."_

_Felicity grinned widely at that as she patted his head, "Good boy." She ruffled his hair and Oliver laughed, "So, Ray, huh?"_

"_Yup," She said popping the 'p', "He is my best friend. We met at MIT and I have told you all of this beforehand, "She stated, "Your focus is really lacking." She told him while tapping the table with her hands. A second later, a waitress approached them holding a tray with two cups of black coffee and plat of chocolate brownie. _

_She smiled as she placed them on the table and the two of them mumbled a thank you to her. Felicity held the spoon, she took out a piece of the brownie, a smile crossing her face when she saw chocolate liquid oozing out of it. _

"_Wait," Oliver told her before he took a big bite of her brownie and Felicity frowned, "No peanuts." He said as he munched it down and Felicity looked at him, "We ordered a plain brownie, Oliver."_

"_They could give us peanut butter brownies for all we know. You know that it is me who would have to take care of you if something happens, right?" _

_Felicity huffed but she did smile. She sipped her coffee before taking a bite of her brownie, savouring the taste. Oliver scooped out a piece too and Felicity scowled at him while Oliver simply grinned at her, licking the extra chocolate liquid from the spoon._

_Felicity was about to retort something but a familiar voice grabbed her attention, "Missed me, Fee?" She beamed as she greeted Ray._

_But failed to notice Oliver's scowl._

…

_So, Ray Palmer wasn't that bad of guy._

_He was a great guy actually._

_And Felicity and he got on really well._

_Which bugged him to no extent._

_Especially when they started reminiscing their time at MIT._

_Plus Palmer was nice. Ah, he could not even hate him._

_The three of them sat in her Mini Cooper and Oliver wondered how Ray fit in the back in the first place. He knew he won't be able to but then again, he didn't know. He always sat beside her, because he always complained that he might not fit in the back and made Tommy sit there. She would scowl at him and tell him that it was because his body was large and muscly and then he would laugh but would still grab the shotgun and force Tommy to sit in the back. _

_He wished Tommy was here but he had ditched the two of them last minute. Oliver had a nagging feeling as to why he did that._

"_So?" Felicity started as she stared in the rear view mirror, trying to catch a glimpse of Ray's eyes, "You coming tomorrow, right?" Oliver frowned, "What?" He turned towards Ray before looking towards Felicity who was rotating the steering wheel, "Tomorrow?"_

"_Yeah, he is staying with me," She declared, "He was stupid enough to book himself a hotel but tomorrow, he'll come and live with me." She turned her head and her blue orbs met cobalt blue ones, "What?"_

"_What?" Felicity repeated him, though her voice was filled with confusion. "You'll stay with her?" He pointed towards Ray who nodded, "She'll eat up my head if I won't. I would have before but then I thought she already had so much of work and if she-"_

"_Oh please." Felicity shot him a glare and Ray rolled his eyes, "You know you're staying with me. So, don't even try to fight okay?"_

"_I won't," Ray raised his hands in surrender, "God knows you might as well crash the car and kill me."_

"_I might." She laughed._

"_What about your work?" Oliver asked him, he really wasn't liking the banter between the two, "Didn't you work in a company too?" The idea of Ray living with Felicity didn't appeal to him, "Kord Enterprises." Ray nodded, "But I'm off for a week and Felicity could help me with my project too." _

"_Project?"_

"_He wants to make his own company," Felicity commented, "Palmer technologies," Ray grinned at that and nodded his head, "I've been working at it for a year. Felicity is helping me with it."_

_Oliver nodded his head and he let out a sound that sounded close to 'uhuh' His jaw was tight, his lips in a firm line. _

_They dropped Ray at his hotel and Felicity made him promise of actually checking out of there in the morning so that he could move in with her. Oliver had glared at him before saying good bye and then had turned towards Felicity, "You're staying with him?"_

_Felicity's eyebrows rose as she spoke slowly as if talking to a little kid, "Yeah."_

"_I don't like it." He bit out._

_Felicity looked at him bewildered before focusing her gaze back on the road, "I mean isn't your job going to be affected? If you spend time with him?" He really didn't want the two under the same roof, "I mean, my dad wants to meet you so I guess something important must be there."_

"_Your dad wants to meet me?'_

"_Yeah," Oliver mumbled, "About that. He said he wanted to meet you like at my house, he wanted to talk to you. "Felicity frowned, "But I didn't do anything wrong! I mean I did scream at him once when I thought he was about to fire me but I think we made peace later on. Especially when he thanked me at the night Verdant opened. Oh god, what if Cindy from the department bitched to him about me?" The realization dawned all of her sudden, "She is a despicable woman. I mean, she is so jealous of me and I don't even know why and I'm pretty sure she has fake hair, "She squinted her eyes, "And fake everything. She has this whiny voice and I bet your father believed-"_

"_Felicity," Oliver pressed his left hand against her shoulder, "Take a deep breathe." Felicity complied. "My dad loves you." Felicity frowned at that, "You think?" Oliver nodded and Felicity tightened her hands on the steering wheel. "You have nothing to be afraid of." _

_Felicity sighed at that, "I trust you." She nodded, "When did he say he wants to meet me?"_

"_Eh," Oliver eyebrows furrowed, "I don't know. Next week maybe? I don't really remember." He scratched his head, "I'll tell you later." _

_Felicity let out a light laugh at that, "Okay." She managed to get out before they reached Oliver's home. Oliver looked at his house gate before turning towards Felicity, "How long are you and Ray going to stay together?"_

_Felicity laughed, "Why are you so hung up on this?" She questioned him before shaking her head as if afraid of the answer, "Never mind, don't answer that. You heard Ray, one week."_

"_I just-I don't trust him yet." Oliver mumbled to her trying to hide the fact that he was jealous._

"_He's my best friend, Oliver." Felicity declared as if Oliver had said the stupidest thing in the entire world, "Like my brother. I trust him."_

_Oliver suddenly had seen the light, "Like a what?" He asked, trying hard not to grin._

_Felicity frowned, "Brother." She narrowed her eyes, "What is wrong with you?" She moved her hands in the air. _

"_Nothing." Oliver grinned as he got out of the car. _

_It was as if he had seen the sun._

_Mumbling a goodnight and flashing her the biggest smile he could muster he started walking towards her mansion._

"_Idiot," Felicity mumbled, a shaking her head lightly before twisting the car key that was fixed inside the ignition switch. She was about to reverse the car when Oliver appeared outside her window. He grinned goofily at her and Felicity pressed the switch which rolled the window down, "What?"_

"_Ray is like a brother to you, right?" He clarified and Felicity groaned, "Again-"_

"_What am I like?"_

_And Felicity was taken back. Her ruby red lips parted open in surprise and Oliver leaned his head against the door, "What am I like?" His voice was a whisper and Felicity felt he was too close to her. Not that she minded. She could smell his spicy after shave and his faint breath that smelled like coffee. She gulped, her eyes widening, "You're-" She stuttered._

"_I'm-" Oliver encouraged her, liking the way she was reacting to him. If only he could lean his head further, "You're..Oliver." She definitely couldn't say he was her brother nor could she utter out that she was falling for him._

_Frankly, she didn't know what to say._

_So, she said Oliver._

_Because Oliver was Oliver._

_Wow, Felicity._

_You just voiced a null statement._

_Clever._

"_Oliver." She said at the end and Oliver grinned at the response. She was pretty sure that it was his playboy smirk and she tilted her head, pulling away lightly. "My best friend." She answered him and Oliver was about to say something but his phone rang._

_Moving away, he pulled out his phone and blinked as he muttered, "Laurel." He picked it up and turned around, wanting to talk to her._

_Felicity's face fell down at the mention of his girlfriend and she rolled the window up before reversing the car._

_Oliver hung up, turning around to face Felicity only to realise she had left._

_He cursed. So, he had managed to fight with Laurel, which is all they have been doing for the past few days and now, Felicity had left._

_John was right._

_He needed to do something about Laurel._

"You can't keep messing with their feelings, Oliver. Choose and let the other go. It's not fair to either of them."

_It wasn't fair to either of them._

…

Life wasn't fair to anyone.

Felicity knew this fact.

But she did have the strength to face it. It had taken quite a long time to gain this strength and she was grateful to her friends.

Friends who were just about to leave her.

And she was going to miss them so much. They were her rock. And now, they have to leave. Sooner or later, this moment had to come and now that it had finally arrived, she felt sadness clawing inside of her.

Courtney grinned as she clicked her fingers in front of her face, "I take it that your expression means you will miss me," And Felicity tilted her head slightly, "Of course I will." She mumbled before hugging her tightly. The brunette laughed lightly.

Ray crossed his legs as he leaned against the chair, "What about me?"

"You too, jerk." Felicity rolled her eyes and Ray grinned, "She will miss me more. Right, Felicity?" He asked her just to coax a reaction out of his wife who glared at him. Felicity shook her head, "I love Courtney more."

"So do I," He grinned cheekily as his wife whacked him on the arm while sitting down, "Ow!" He murmured, "Courtney, stop acting so childish."

"Childish?" She murmured, "You had a fist fight with Oliver!"

"I thought you said that I needed to help my friend."

"Yes," She nodded, "By helping her. You stood up for her, I like it. You did the right thing when you went to talk to Oliver, "But physical fight, Ray? Nope." She stated, crossing her arms, "I would have stopped you if I would have known." She huffed and Ray rolled his eyes, "It wasn't that bad."

"Wasn't that bad?" Courtney blinked, "Look at your face. You know what will happen when we go back to Central City?" She mumbled, "I tell you what." She bit out, "My mum is going to kill me!"

Felicity laughed at that. It was a clear knowledge that Courtney's mother loved Ray more than her own child.

"Geez, Court, so much of concern for me?" Ray retorted sardonically and Felicity giggled, "You're just jealous that your mum loves me more." Ray let out a huff and Courtney narrowed her eyes at him, "I'm not-"

The flight announcement ricocheted across the Starling City airport and Felicity realized that it was time for the two to board their flight. Suddenly, everyone's expressions changed as they realized that it was time to bid good bye.

Courtney got up from her seat, hugging Felicity with all her might, "Take care of yourself, okay? And if you need anything, we're a call away." Felicity beamed at that, "Stay strong." She told her before she turned around to pick up her handbag.

Ray took in her position and Felicity felt herself being hugged tightly. "We're here, okay? If you ever feel low, we're there. Call anyone," He grinned at her, "Show Oliver what you're made of." Felicity laughed at that. Ray pressed a kiss against her forehead before the couple turned around and walked away.

Felicity waved when they turned around to smile her way one last time. She sighed when she finally lost sight of them. A feeling set up in the pit of her stomach but just then a figure popped out in front of her, "Hey Felicity."

She blinked, taken aback before she grinned.

..

Courtney sat in her chair and then turned towards her husband, "Stop worrying."

"I'm not," Ray laughed and Courtney blinked, "What?" He wasn't tensed.

''Let's just I've had an eventful day."

Courtney flashed him an impish smile, "Well, then let's just say I've had an eventful day too."

Ray looked at her curiously.

…

Oliver frowned as he entered his house. _Their _house. It had been a while since he had been here. He usually came here to calm himself down.

He walked straight towards the wine cabinet and pulled out a bottle of whiskey. Pouring himself a drink in no time, he gulped the entire liquid in one go.

What did she think of herself? She had the guts to show up in his office with Palmer.

Palmer.

She really was trying to test his patience. He was the coward? Yeah, right. He wanted to scoff at that. He didn't know why he didn't reply her then.

It was her voice.

Felicity has always been a woman who didn't hesitate to put her opinions forward and every now and then he would found himself on the receiving end of her loud voice, but today it was loud and if he wasn't wrong close to cracking.

"_My dad, when he left..they called me things. They called us his leftovers and it hurt. He made a mistake and it was us paying the price."_

He gritted his teeth as he recalled that moment.

But wasn't she a bitch too?

He'd try not to think about the fact that she still had a hold on him. He needed another drink. He was about to go for another glass when the doorbell rang.

He groaned to himself and used his left hand to keep his glass down. He walked towards the door, opening the door with his left, his right hand bandaged by the doctor he had visited before coming here. His hand apparently needed physiotherapy. He had cracked his fingers.

"What?" His tone was snippy as he opened the door and Tommy Merlyn grinned from the other side. Thea Queen stood beside him, a small smile gracing her face too. Oliver frowned, "What are you guys doing here?"

He tried to ignore the way Thea gasped as she entered the room, pressing her finger on Oliver's cheek, "What happened?"

Tommy narrowed his eyes as if perfectly aware what had happened, "We thought you might need a friend."

…

Felicity smiled at John, "What are you doing here?" It took a moment for her to put two and two together and she beamed when she did, "They did this, didn't they?" Sometimes she felt she was really lucky.

"Yeah, Courtney talked to me." He told her and she grinned, "Thank you for being there." She told him, "But I don't think you need to bother about me-" She turned her head, trying to point towards the booth that Courtney and Ray had passed minutes ago, "It's alright-"

"Felicity, do you really know me or not?" His eyebrow had risen as he shot her a knowing look.

"I know, I know." She said, she didn't mean to offend him, "It is just that I've been a headache for all of you and I think it's time I take care of myself."

"I'm not babying you Felicity," John laughed, "And I'm certainly think you can take care of yourself. I just wanted to hang out with my friend, you know?" He tilted his head sideways and slowly Felicity's lips curled up, "Okay. Hanging out it is."

The two walked out of airport while John told her about how good it was to talk to her in person because his fingers ached while texting her and joked about how he was turning old. Felicity laughed at that before her eyes brightened lightly at the sight of a red Honda FCX, "That is your car, isn't it?" She vividly remembered John sending a picture to her when he bought his car a year or so back. John nodded his head, reaching for his keys as he pressed the automatic button and Felicity saw the indicator lights of the car lighten up momentarily.

They got into the car and Felicity's gaze kept changing directions as she tried to analyse the vehicle, "This is an amazing car." She commented before she pulled the seat belt. "And the colour is awesome." Her voice was laced with admiration.

John laughed, "Yeah," The car revved as he started it, "I got inspiration from Roy's hoodie."

Felicity frowned when she heard the unfamiliar name, "Roy?"

"Thea's boyfriend." Felicity's lips formed an 'o' shape as she nodded, "How is she these days?"

John's hand remained on the steering wheel, his eyes flickering towards the rear-view mirror every now and then, "She is coping up just fine." He paused for effect, "How are you dealing with all of this?"

"Dealing with what?"

John shot Felicity a knowing look, "You know what I'm talking about. Tomorrow and 's death and then-"

"I am okay," Felicity cut him off, shaking her head up and down, "At least I will be." She added as an afterthought, "I thought about it and I think I can cope up and face it. I am not really sad. Is that …bad, John?" She asked him, looking for reassurance.

"Not at all." John answered, "It's a great day, Felicity. You shouldn't remember it this way." Felicity nodded, her eyes blinking behind her black framed glasses, "But if something happens, you know I'm here, right? I know you haven't told me everything and if you ever need to, I'm here."

Felicity grinned softly, "You're awesome, John."

John just smirked as he drove.

…

**Six Years Ago**

_Felicity often wondered what was it with her and cars._

_They stopped in front of her._

_And they were always black. _

_It was creepy._

_And dangerous._

_But then again, what was she thinking when she decided to walk alone in the streets of Glades to buy mint chip and some red wine._

_Ah, but they were just so tempting._

_Plus, she had a pepper spray in her pocket and also a retractable pen in her left hand, which she would use to stab someone momentarily if they approached her._

_It was Oliver's idea._

_It was a great one._

_She sighed to herself as she walked down the street, flinging the brown polybag every now and then when a black car stopped in front of her. Now, Felicity did freak out, a squeal escaping her lips and she curled her toes, almost ready to run._

_Despite all the techniques._

_Running is always the best option._

_The window rolled down and she almost breathed a sigh of relief at the sight of a familiar face._

_John Diggle._

_She had talked to him and had thanked him before. He had lied to Oliver about how she cursed him into oblivion after their verbal spat. She really had loved the look on his face when he uttered that he knew how much she had fought and cursed. _

_John had helped her._

_And they had met each other a few more times and Oliver always had talked about how awesome he was._

_He was a friend._

_Or maybe not._

_But Felicity needed a friend._

_And he was nice._

_And wise._

_So, she was happy._

"_Ms. Smoak?" Felicity blinked rapidly, "Yes?"_

"_It's twelve thirty. What are you doing here?"_

_Felicity didn't say a word as she raised her hand, showing the polybag to John who raised his eyebrow, "I stress eat." She defended herself, "I really needed mint chip and red wine. I mean, it's Saturday and tomorrow's Sunday which means waking up late and I have so much to worry about. Oliver is an asshole, "She huffed before her eyes widened, "But he is your boss and friend too. I didn't mean to offend him. He's my friend too." She muttered at the end and John let out a laugh and Felicity shook her head, "I shouldn't be talking to you about it, right? I am boring you, you should go." _

_She started walking away and John honked the horn. Felicity turned around, "Get inside. I'm dropping you at your house."_

_Felicity contemplated before tucking her pen inside the pocket of her Mickey Mouse pyjamas. She opened the door before getting inside the car. She chose to sit on the seat beside the driver's, "You should sit in the back."_

"_No," Felicity answered, "Sitting behind makes me feel like I own the car which I don't." She said pointedly, "And you're my friend. Sort of. I can sit here." She told him._

_John glared at her, not harshly though, "You shouldn't be out here. It's dangerous."_

"_I know," Felicity mumbled, "But today I wanted ice cre-"_

"_No."_

"_But I was prepared."_

_John's eyebrow rose, "Prepared." Felicity nodded before taking out the pepper spray and the retractable pen out of her pocket, "Prepared."_

_She thought John would falter._

_He didn't._

"_No." He said firmly, "Or I can tell Oliver about this too." Felicity eyes widened before she nodded her head vigorously, "No."_

_Silence ensued momentarily before John turned towards her, a small smile on his face, "So, Oliver is asshole, huh?"_

_Felicity nodded her vigorously, "Asshole." She paused before repeating, "Asshole."_

_John laughed when she repeated the word, "Why?"_

"_Well, he is acting weird." Felicity crossed her arms after placing the polybag on the back seat of the car, "Like he flirts with me. I think it's flirting. And he has a girlfriend back at home? Why flirt when he has a girlfriend. Uh, that is against the rule book." She raised her hands in exaggeration, "He is weird now. Good weird though but good weird with a girlfriend and then I can't enjoy his weirdness," She scrunched her nose, "Asshole."_

_John laughed as he changed the car gear, "Asshole."_

_John complained about Oliver too._

_He dropped her at home._

_Felicity mused maybe she was stupid to think that John wasn't her friend._

_To doubt that._

_John Diggle was definitely her friend._

…

**Delicity :')**

**John Diggle is bae :D**

**SO, DID YOU LIKE IT? *Crosses fingers***

**Now, I have a tough schedule but I'll update this week, okay? Max to max by Tuesday. Not promising anything though x**

**Also, I have another fic 'Back to you'. I will try and update that to. So, yeah. I hope you like it.**

**So, the question is – what do you think is the 10****th**** Feb's story?**

**Marriage anniversary**

**Something baby related**

**Divorce date**

**Loliver related (pukes)**

**So, that's it. **

**Hope you like it :D**

**Enjoy xD**

**Ciao Xd**

**Signing out, **

**Fanfics4you :')**


	11. Chapter Ten : Gone Too Soon

**Hey, how are you all?**

**I'm tired.**

**It's five am here.**

**And I won't be thanking you all because I'm feeling really sleepy and that is highly ungrateful but I would PM you guys soon.**

**I could have waited to post this.**

**But I'm super excited.**

**Also, this chapter contains flashbacks of their marriage. So, we will have a flashback chapter every now and then with the flashbacks of the marriage only.**

**Kinda like an Arrow – mostly flashback episode.**

**Thank you all so much for the reviews :***

**I know you all want to kill me for the wait.**

**But I'm already dead.**

**I watched 3x19 and if THIS is 3x19 what about 3x20. Too tired to sing Love me Like you do..haha **

**Thanks a ton x**

**Will definitely PM you ALL.**

**Excited for the response. **

**Word Count : 6718**

**Definitely not betaed. Too excited to post. Haven't even given it a reading. Sorry if it sucks. It's five am here.**

**I'll post the edited version within a few days.**

**Without further ado, Chapter Ten.**

"**The worst day of loving someone. Is when you lose them." – Thea Queen, Arrow.**

**Chapter Ten : Gone Too Soon**

Tenth February 2015.

It was a precious day for Felicity Smoak and Oliver Queen.

Usually, the day begins with a happy Felicity who despite everything tries to keep the past and tries to muster a smile in every way possible.

She tries to be happy as she remembers him.

But then as the day passes the reality of the situation hits and she finds herself curled up in all ball crying her eyes out.

Most of the people cry at night.

Proven Fact.

The feelings are mixed. It hits you initially that how precious the day actually is and you just want to appreciate it but then it hits you that all of these things are over and all that is left behind are memories.

She remembers the fact that he is gone.

…

Oliver Queen didn't know what to think of today.

As a sad or a happy one?

The day usually begins with his family fussing over him, afraid that he might break anytime soon. Followed by a crying Thea and then, a grieving Tommy.

Oliver doesn't want to remember him that way.

He wants to cherish him and so he smiles. Despite, the emotional breakdown he is so close to having, he smiles.

Because he deserves it.

His family knows that.

They try to celebrate this day with great pomp and show. They want to honour his memory.

He cries at night.

His family doesn't know that.

…

Felicity squinted her eyes behind her thick spectacles as she tightened her hold on the piping bag causing white icing to ooze out of before moving her hand and making the letters on the cake.

She smiled to herself as she pulled her hand, her eyes moistening lightly at the sight of a birthday cake. She kept the bag down and shook her head, trying to smile.

She bit her lip as she tried her best to grin at the sight of the chocolate cake that she had just made.

Conner Queen.

That is what the birthday cake said.

Felicity Smoak always made a cake on her son's birthday. She knew it wasn't much but it was a habit that she would continue in the future too. She made his first birthday cake and she'll happily make cakes for his upcoming birthdays too.

It made her feel that he wasn't actually gone.

That his first birthday cake turned out to be his only birthday cake.

Her phone buzzed as she snapped out of her reverie, a glassy layer covering her eyes. She really needed to stop crying. Trying to shrug away the thoughts, she picked up her phone reading a message from Iris that asked her to send her a picture of the cake which made her chuckle lightly. She snapped a picture, sending it to her quickly before walking out the kitchen.

Her feet padded against the linoleum floor as she entered her room. Her eyes flickered towards the Scooby doo stuff toy that was laid on her bed before she picked it up and hugged it tightly against her chest.

The next moment, she opened her closet and crouched down before sitting Indian style and fumbled with the stuff in there for a second before pulling out a box. The box had the words, "Conner" written over in bold letters and Felicity removed the tape with a little effort before opening it.

The box was full of toys and pictures. Felicity had a few pictures with him in her house and in her office too but they were some things that were still inside the box. She usually opened the box when she felt nostalgic and just wanted to be left alone.

She preferred the past over the present.

They were filled with her baby's memory.

She plucked out a couple of toys. His toy cars, she remembered him squealing happily when Oliver moved it in the air, his toy guitar that he tapped on repeatedly not knowing what to do before bursting into giggles at the sounds that the strings produced. His teether that he kept chewing on for more than two weeks, her heart breaking every time he let out a shattered cry when the dull pain hit him.

She fidgeted with the stuff inside the box before coming across a picture frame. A frown adorned her face as she turned it over and blinked when she saw it.

It was a picture of the three of them. Conner was squashed between Oliver and her as the two kissed his cheek from either side, his tiny hands pressed together.

She let out a breathy laugh as she stared at the picture wondering how it escaped her vision when she had shifted back to Starling.

She hugged the picture tightly to her chest.

….

**May 2011 **

**Post Marriage **

_Felicity hugged her baby tightly to her chest. She kissed his cheek and Conner made a face at that causing Felicity to chuckle before he moved his tiny hands in the air wanting to grab something. "Who is the most handsome looking boy here?" Conner looked at his mother as she spoke to him, his head turning lightly at the mere sound of it. Felicity nudged his nose with hers and Conner flashed her a small toothless smile before bringing his hands to his nose which was scrunched up and Felicity smiled at that. He looked really handsome in his black tuxedo and she was glad he wasn't fidgeting with his bow._

_She placed her son on her lap before swaying left and right and Conner burst into giggles, his blue eyes twinkling with delight as his mother held on to him, "You're enjoying this, huh? You enjoy swings." Felicity's tone was soft and three month old blinked rapidly as he stared at her._

"_Sorry, sorry!" Felicity heard a distinct voice before rolling her eyes. She picked Conner up, the latter's hand reaching for her blonde hair which cascaded down her shoulders, "Daddy's here." She told him, "He is late. Again." She retorted and Conner stared at her as if understood everything before pulling her hair._

"_No," Felicity shook her head before she removed his hand and Conner's eyes began to shine while his lip wobbled and Felicity kicked herself mentally, "Conner." She sighed as she picked the kid up and lifted him in the air and she could see a ghost of a smile on his face. She brought him down again before lifting him up again, "My baby likes this, doesn't he?" She laughed at the sound of his laughter._

"_And you tell me to not to do that with him." Oliver made his presence known and Felicity pivoted her head in his direction, "Well, unlike you I actually hold him in the air. I don't throw him." She stated and Oliver rolled his eyes as he made his way towards his wife and son. _

_Felicity eyed him unabashed as she stared at her husband who was wearing a tuxedo and she definitely could make out the suspenders he was wearing underneath his jacket, "You look hot." She told him and Oliver laughed as he sat on the chair beside Felicity, "And you look beautiful." He told her before dropping a kiss on her forehead. She looked drop dead gorgeous in red._

"_And you're late."_

_Oliver looked at her as if she had grown two heads, "I'm always late." Meanwhile, Conner squealed as he felt his father's hands on his stomach, his hands moving in air and Oliver moved his fore finger which Conner grasped in his hand. _

"_That is not a good explanation," Felicity pointed out before she shifted Conner on her other thigh, the three month old now between Oliver and Felicity, "It's picture day followed by the boring ceremony that you rich people have to acknowledge you are rich," Felicity scrunched her nose at that._

_Oliver blinked, "You do realise you are a part of this family, aren't you?"_

_Felicity sighed, "Unfortunately." _

"_Unfortunately?" Oliver's right eyebrow rose, "You weren't saying that in bed this morning!"_

"_Oliver!" Felicity shrieked as she tried to cover Conner's ears but wasn't able to since she had to hold the baby too, "Not in front of the baby!"_

_Oliver laughed, "Really Felicity?" He paused, "It's not like he would get anything." He lowered his head and narrowed his eyes at him playfully, "Right champ?" Conner blinked rapidly before moving his head towards Felicity and she laughed, "He knows I'm right."_

"_He just likes bright colours more." Oliver pointed out and Felicity just merely shot him a smug smile, "You know he does."_

_Felicity looked at him, "I didn't say anything." She told him before her gaze flickered around. Moira and Robert stood near the photographer who was going to take their snapshots. It happened every year. It was mainly for magazine purposes despite the fact it was a personal photo shoot. Later on, there was an annual party that happened where all rich people of Starling City got together. Felicity had always thought about the party but had never imagined being a part of it._

_It was super boring._

_Oliver had told her that._

_She didn't believe him._

_The pictures were the best part though. It was one thing that Felicity had admired the most. They kept all the photographs in the family room – which to Felicity's surprise was a room just for photographs._

_Rich people, right?_

_Despite that it was precious. Not only the full family picture but every picture. Felicity still had a picture of Oliver and her from last year and this year too, it was Conner's first family picture, of course she would keep it. _

"_I'll go help them," Felicity told Oliver and Oliver grabbed her hand, "My kiss?"_

"_Excuse me?" Felicity laughed and Oliver grinned mischievously, "Or are you going to say not in front of the baby?" Felicity narrowed her eyes at him, "You really want a kiss?"_

_Oliver nodded, "I've been working really hard for the past few days, you know? And I am wearing my sexy suspenders," He winked, "Don't I deserve a kiss?" Felicity grinned before nodding, "You do."_

_Oliver grinned as he leaned in and Felicity squealed before picking Conner up. The baby made a small sound at that and Felicity placed him between the two. Oliver's lips landed on his cheek. Felicity leaned in to kissing his cheek and the baby squealed loudly pressing his hands together, his eyes closed tightly. A flash light caught their attention and Felicity chuckled as she realized that Moira had snapped a picture of them. Her head was tilted, a huge smile on her face and Felicity in that moment felt proud of the family she had._

"_Felicity!" Oliver groaned and Felicity shook her head before handing over Conner to him. "Oh come on!"_

"_Not in front of the baby," Felicity winked before turning around and walking away. _

_Oliver huffed as he hugged his son tightly. "Conner, you would give me a kiss, won't you?" He looked at him and Conner turned his head towards his father. He responded to his voice, "Right?" He brought him closer to himself and Conner's lips landed on his cheek, leaving a small patch of drool on his cheek but Oliver didn't mind, "Yeah, champ loves me more, doesn't he? Mommy is mean." Conner blinked repeatedly before grinning brightly and kicking his feet in the air._

_Oliver laughed, "Definitely my son." _

…

Yeah, it was her son's birthday.

Felicity smiled wryly as she hugged the photo frame tightly against her chest while whispering, "Happy Birthday baby."

…

As soon as Oliver entered the living room he saw a huge banner that said Happy Birthday Conner. It was great but sadly a reminder that he wasn't around anymore.

Neither was his dad.

He tried not to think about those. Not today. He would at least try. He was supposed to remember his son in a happy way. Cherish his memories not cry over them.

He started walking up the stairs before heading towards the room that he did every time on February Tenth.

Conner's nursery.

He entered the room which hadn't changed one bit. He visited this room every month. Wanting to cherish every memory of his son.

He was afraid that if he didn't it was almost as if he was forgetting him.

His blue eyes moved around, he gazed at the rocking chair placed in the corner where Felicity or he sat with Conner.

He loved the view and always smiled at the sight of it.

The colours of the wall was bright yellow- a neutral colour since the two of them had decided not to know about the baby's gender. The two had worked together for a two days straight, painting the walls yellow and after his birth had gotten cartoons all over his wall.

Especially Scooby doo.

God, he loved that dog.

He grinned before staring at his son's crib which had taken hours to build. Tommy, John and he were so tired and he was pretty sure he had broken his back while making it.

But it was worth it.

Right opposite to his crib on the wall was his name written with stickers. His nursery was bright and colourful.

Just the way he liked it.

Just the way his mother liked it.

He made a beeline towards his crib where he picked up a toy that had once been his favourite. Well, except from the Scooby doo stuff toy. Felicity took that. Conner had a nursery in this house because he was brought up here but occasionally three of them visited their previous home too. Oliver and Felicity had bought a small apartment for themselves but after the pregnancy news came they shifted back to the mansion. They sometimes went back there, temporarily though. Hence, the apartment had a room for Conner too.

It was great.

They could enjoy their privacy and have time for family as well.

He picked up the rubber duck and pressed it tightly and it made a squeaky noise.

He laughed as a faint memory hit him.

…

**October 2011**

**Post Marriage**

_Oliver and Felicity were lying on the floor of the nursery, Felicity's head laid against his stomach. _

_They were exhausted._

_Meanwhile, Conner Queen still had energy piled up inside of him. He was playing with his toys. He picked one up before throwing it followed by crawling towards it to do the same._

"_Where does he get that much of energy from?" Oliver huffed and Felicity laughed. The two of them had been playing with Conner since morning. It was Sunday and that usually meant a day with Conner. The entire family spends the day with him. But at the moment it was just the two of them, the other family members were busy in some work or the other. _

"_He's a baby Oliver." Felicity stated, "All he knows is how to play."_

_Oliver simply nodded as he ran his hand through her blonde hair. Felicity's gaze was fixed on Conner who was now chewing on his rubber toy, "Conner." Felicity's tone was firm and the blonde kid turned his face towards her, "No." She said firmly and Conner's bottom lip wobbled before he started crying. The two parents were alert in a second before getting up. Oliver held his arms out for him before picking him up. Conner kept on crying, his toy now lying on the ground. Felicity picked it up immediately, "See?" She flashed it in front of his face and Oliver bounced him up and down, "You started crying? At such a small thing? Queens are strong, Champ." He told him and his sobs turned into whimpers._

"_Mommy made you cry, right?" He asked him and Conner opened his mouth, making a sound that sounded like 'Blah' Felicity pressed the toy tightly, it produced a squeaky noise and Conner sniffed. _

"_See?'' Oliver talked to his son, "Everything is okay." He looked at Felicity, "Don't give him this toy." Felicity nodded before picking up his Scooby doo stuff toy that lay on the ground, "Conner loves this, doesn't he?" She asked him and Conner's eyes brightened before he took it from Felicity. Conner hugged the stuff toy tightly as he laid his head on his father's shoulder, Oliver moving every now and then and as Felicity stared at the two of them, a thought hit her._

_It's the simple moments really._

_Simple moments that make you happy. She was a little kid when her father had left her. Maybe he was a great father too when he was there but the irony is that she doesn't remember him. Unfortunately, Conner won't remember this too. _

_But he had a great father. And in the future too, he would be around and her child won't go through the same things she went through._

_He'll lead an amazing life._

"_You crying?" Oliver looked concerned and Felicity shook her head, "Nothing."_

"_Happy tears?" Oliver mumbled and Felicity nodded, "Happy tears." Oliver smiled brightly at that before pulling her towards him. He wrapped his left arm around her before dropping a kiss on his forehead while holding his son in his right arm._

_In that moment, Oliver Queen was content._

…

Oliver's eyes blurred as he recalled the memory. Life can be weird sometimes. You never know what might happen the next moment.

He was content then.

Life had changed so much.

…

Thea Queen took a deep breath as she stood up. A small smile was etched on her face although it didn't reach her eyes. Her peripheral vision caught the glimpse of another grave and she felt a pang against her chest.

She hadn't even fathomed the scenario she was facing today.

In this very garden they had the best of memories. She had the best of memories and suddenly, god took him away.

Maybe he was an angel and God loved him too much.

But so did Thea.

And she missed him.

Every single day.

…

**December 2011 **

**Post Marriage**

"_Con!" Thea tried and called out to her nephew. The littlest Queen was in her mother's arms before Felicity noticed that Thea had her arms wide open for Conner. She set Conner down, "Conner. Look Aunty Thea." The little boy blinked before looking at his aunt. A smile came on the face of the baby before he began walking towards him._

_He had recently started walking and God, did he stop. He wanted to walk everywhere. Felicity and Oliver had to lock the doors of their room- which was where he was staying these days because of his habit of running away -so that Conner didn't escape. He could tumble down the stairs and injure himself._

_Thea squealed and Conner giggled loudly as he collided with Thea. The latter picked him and blew raspberries on his stomach causing him to dissolve into peals of laughter. "He is in a good mood." She pointed out and Tommy finally joined in the conversation. He was sitting on the white chairs that the Queens had in their garden along with Laurel and Sara. "Of course he would be. It was I who woke him up this morning."_

"_He was awake before that." Laurel pointed out, "You just want to barge into everything."_

"_No! Absolutely not-"_

_Felicity fixed her baseball cap while sitting on the grass. They were in the Queens garden. It was a Sunday and the weather seemed pleasant. It was a good thing that Starling City had a moderate climate throughout the year. Oliver was sitting beside her, his back against a tree. They had been playing baseball and God, were they tired._

_But Felicity loved it._

_The small things that they did when they were free._

_Raisa walked past her straight towards Robert who was sitting on a hammock before placing the pancakes in front of him. His eyes brightened at the sight of it before Moira hit his hand. "What?" He asked._

"_No pancakes dad." Felicity laughed and Robert glared at her, "What? Today is a Sunday. I'm off my diet."_

"_Which is why you had a great breakfast." Felicity pointed out referring to rather wholesome meal he had a few hours ago, "And you have just exercised. I don't think you want it to go waste."_

"_I was having fun." Robert stated and Moira looked at Raisa, "We don't need it Raisa. And don't listen to what Robert says." She said and Robert looked appalled, "I own the damn house. I order pancakes. I will get pancakes."_

"_Your cholesterol level-" Moira was cut off._

"_Raisa?" Oliver finally spoke, "Ignore them. Get the pancakes here."_

"_No way-"_

"_Yes." Moira smiled, "Just take them away from him."_

_Robert huffed._

_Oliver straightened up the minute the plate was placed in front of him. Felicity looked at her husband before turning her eyes away. She was pissed off at him. He had come home late the night before and didn't even have the decency to inform her. "Oh, come on." Oliver snapped her out of her reverie as he shoved the plate in her direction, "Have a bite."_

_Felicity ignored him._

"_I apologized, didn't I? I'm sorry, okay?" Felicity huffed, "I won't happen again." He mumbled, "Now you want to eat this or I would finish all of it." He said eyeing the delicious plate of food._

_Felicity sighed before picking up the spoon that was kept on the table. "We'll share." Oliver smiled at her and Felicity narrowed her eyes, "I don't like sharing with you. You eat too fast and I'm stuck being hungry."_

"_Take the romance out of it, why don't you?"_

_Felicity shoved him lightly, "I'm still pissed at you."_

"_And I'm trying to convince you," Oliver retaliated and Felicity rolled her eyes, "And I hope it is working because I'm being super romantic." He grinned like a cheshire cat. Felicity ignored him as she began eating._

_She was smiling though._

_Thea Queen laid on the grass, her brown hair in perfect coordination with the green hue of the grass. She raised her nephew up in the air who was made an 'Ah' sound and Thea responded the same way acting as if she understood his baby gibberish. She looked around. Her dad was busy with his mom. Oliver was with Felicity and Tommy was talking to Laurel. Sara was busy on her phone and Thea was pretty sure she was texting someone, her boyfriend perhaps. _

_She sighed to herself, "Everyone has someone." She mumbled before looking up and meeting Conner's eyes, "But I have Conner!" She said and brought the child down suddenly causing a gust of air to hit Conner who kicked his legs happily and squeal. Thea brought her nephew closer to herself before pecking his lips and Conner smiled at her before saying the only word he knew, "Dada." Thea grinned before she placed the child on her stomach, "Yeah dada is busy is mama."_

_Conner made a soft sound and she was pretty sure he was about to fall asleep in a few moments. He was a little baby and he wasn't even one yet but she loved him dearly. Being the youngest in the family, she had always been the centre of attention and had been loved by everyone. _

_Now, it was her chance. Finally there was someone who was younger than her and it was her turn to play the aunt._

_To take care of someone. To love someone._

_She smiled to herself as she pressed a kiss to Conner's head._

_And she would make sure she does that._

…

Tears dripped down Thea's cheeks as she recalled the memory.

In this very garden they had the best of memories.

And now two graves laid there, her heart breaking as the reality of the situation dawned on her.

Life is weird.

And it's unfair.

_Completely unfair._

…

Felicity straightened up when she heard the doorbell ring. Using the back of her hand to wipe the tear tracks on her face she walked down the stairs and opened the door. She probably should have the checked the eye hole but she wasn't in the mood today, "John?" She uttered, surprised while the person in question grinned at her.

"I thought you might need someone today," John added as he entered inside, "And I brought some company."

Felicity couldn't help but smile widely when she saw Sara. The toddler was holding on to her father's hand, a shy smile on her lips. Her eyes wondered around, trying to analyse the new environment before they brightened as she stared at the cake Felicity had baked hours ago, "Cake." She mumbled, licking her lips involuntarily.

Felicity smiled as she shut the door, "Cake." She repeated.

Well, today was going to be a really eventful day.

…

Oliver smiled as he greeted the guests. He smile was genuine. This might be the only event that he enjoyed because the people that were invited were real and genuinely cared for the family and weren't there just for business purposes.

A lot of them also questioned him about him being the new CEO and also the fact that Felicity was missing despite the fact that she happened to be Conner's mother.

He ignored it.

A little while later, while he was in the party, a security guard approached him. Laurel frowned while watching him interact with Oliver but he flashed her a smile that said 'nothing was wrong' before heading out the door.

Yeah, nothing was wrong.

…

Felicity blinked repeatedly as she entered the Queen Mansion. It wasn't much of a problem since her name was already on the guest list. Although, she did receive weird looks considering her attire. It wasn't the party type. Just a plain simple red dress with a coat she had put on last minute. She didn't care what they thought.

Clearly, she had finally decided to take up Grammy's offer.

Well, in a way.

She wasn't entering the party.

Nope, she was going to visit his grave. Courtney had encouraged her. Hell, everyone had and they were right. Sooner or later, she had to let go and it wasn't fair to her son's memory either.

She clutched on to the two sets of white lilies in her hand. Moving tangentially, she headed towards the Queen Gardens rather than making a beeline towards the entrance towards the mansion.

A security guard was standing right in front of the gate towards it and Felicity frowned when he stopped her, "You don't know me." She breathed and almost wanted to curse Oliver was employing new staff members, "I need to go in there."

"I'm sorry Miss." The security guard said firmly, "That is not allowed."

Felicity glared at him angrily. She was already close to breaking down. He wasn't helping her, "Go talk to Oliver Queen. Tell him Felicity Smoak is here." Felicity shoved past him and he could hear him yelling at her and did wonder for a split second why hadn't he followed her.

She ignored the stray thoughts.

…

Judith had tried calling Felicity since the beginning of the event. She also had managed to ignore the dark looks that Moira and Thea had shot her way.

She didn't care.

She hoped Felicity would come. She knew that the latter still wasn't in terms with Conner's death and all she wanted was to her kid's life. She wasn't able to save Robert or Conner.

The least she could is save Oliver and Felicity.

She walked out only to see that one of the guards who were standing at the gate of the mansion making a beeline towards her. She frowned as he walked past her and towards the Queens Garden. She heard a little bit of yelling and to her surprise caught a glimpse of Felicity.

A smile formed on her lips and she was sure her son was rejoicing in heaven right now. She saw Felicity shoving past the guard and the two guard were about to follow her when Judith interrupted. "Let her go."

The two of them looked at her weirdly.

"Go tell Oliver that Felicity is here."

She smiled.

She knew only he was the one that could get through her.

Just like old time.

….

**March 2012**

**Post Marriage.**

_Felicity refused to come out of bed. _

_Her baby was dead._

_Gone._

_It had been two weeks since his death and all Felicity could do is bawl her eyes out. She cried, screamed and kicked wishing it was her God had chosen to take away instead of the soul her precious one year old. _

_She had ignored Oliver too._

_She knew it was wrong._

_But she couldn't help it. He didn't get it, did he? He wasn't there when it happened._

_But he was his father._

_So, he had every right to cry too. To break down but Felicity didn't give him a chance._

_She would call herself a bitch._

_And she was._

_But she just couldn't help it._

"_Hey," She heard a voice and her head snapped towards the door. Her bloodshot eyes met Oliver's and she turned away, "Go away."_

"_I'm not." Oliver told her sternly before he entered to room. She was pretty sure his eyes were puffy too but she didn't have the courage to see him._

_She didn't deserve anything._

_She was a bitch._

"_Felicity," Oliver mumbled softly as he sat down on the bed. He turned her head towards him and Felicity gulped, "Look at me." She didn't moved her eyes from the comforter so Oliver moved her chin upwards, "There we go." He said before showing him the tray he was holding, "I made pasta."_

_Felicity bit her lip, "You?"_

"_Yup. Me." Oliver smiled though it didn't reach his eyes, "I figured out since it has almost been two weeks of don't talk to me. I think it's about time we get some food in our system, shouldn't we?"_

"_Oliver-"_

"_Hey," Oliver reprimanded, "Not now. You know because of you, I haven't eaten today? You made me fast. Don't you pity me? I'm hungry and so are you." He said shoving a fork in her hands and Felicity hesitated, "Oliver-"_

"_I promise I would eat slow, okay?" He mumbled and Felicity knew he was trying to control his tears, "Let's just eat."_

_God, she was such a bitch._

_She picked up the fork and Oliver got comfortable on the bed before the two of them took a bite. Felicity closed her eyes as she started giggling, swallowing the food with a lot of difficulty. "You made this?" Oliver groaned as he tried to smile, "It's really bad, isn't it?" The pasta was bland and undercooked._

_Felicity nodded her head and she could feel tears drip down her cheek as she tried to smile, "Super bad."_

_Oliver pushed to plate away, the forks dropping on the bed. Felicity started sobbing loudly as her husband pulled her closer. Oliver hugged her tightly, pressing his head against hers as two tears leaked down his cheeks too. "I'm sorry."_

"_Shh." Oliver shushed her, "You have nothing to be sorry for." But she kept on mumbling._

_It was the first time that she had broken down in front of anyone._

_He was glad he was there for her._

_They were glad they were there for each other. _

…

Felicity's heart thudded in her chest as she began to walk towards the grave.

Why is it that she wanted to run away now?

She had talked to everyone about this too. This was the main reason why she didn't want to come to Starling. She was afraid of see _him._

She was afraid of seeing Conner.

Her baby who she thinks she will let go if she visits his grave. Who she thinks she would forget if she tried to let him go.

Who she almost _forgot _about two days ago.

That was unfair to him.

Suddenly, she felt like she couldn't breathe. Her feet started moving backward as she found herself moving further and further away from the two sets of grave.

Her son and her father.

Her husband had left her.

What was she fucking doing here?"

She moved backwards, her back suddenly colliding with someone's chest and she turned around only to find Oliver staring at her. The tears that had pooled in her eyes were about to fall and she didn't want Oliver to see that. She lowered her gaze, her voice thick, "I'm leaving. You don't have to kick me out."

She began to walk away when his hand caught her wrist. She whipped her head towards him but his back was to her, "What?"

"You came to see him." It wasn't a question but a statement.

"Yes." Felicity just wanted to leave, she didn't want to deal with him, "And I don't want to now." She tried to move her wrist but Oliver pulled it tightly causing her to jerk towards him as he turned, "You called me a coward, Felicity. What are you now?"

Felicity blinked, "Wha-"

"You don't even have the guts to see your son Felicity. It's almost three years and yet, you couldn't come and see him _once. _You called me a coward." He told her, "What does that make you?!" His voice rose as he spoke the last sentence.

Felicity couldn't believe this, "Fine. Oliver. You are right. You are not a coward. Now is your ego satisfied!" She shouted, "I was wrong before."

"That is not what I meant." Oliver spoke, "You came to visit him and you will visit him."

Felicity blanched, "No way. I can't." She shook her head vigorously, "I can't."

"Felicity!" His hold tightened but not enough to hurt her. He was practically dragging her towards his grave, "Oliver!"

He let go of her hand the minute the two of them were standing in front of their child's grave.

_In the memory of our precious angel,_

_Conner Queen._

_10__th__ February 2011 – 16__th__ March 2012_

_An angel opened up the book of life_

_To record our angel's birth_

_She closed to book after a little while_

_whispering, "Too beautiful for earth."_

_Forever in our hearts_

And Felicity crumbled. She sobbed her heart out as she stared at the grave. Tears streaked down her cheeks as she finally turned towards Oliver, "Why are you doing this me?"

He smiled sadly, "Because he doesn't deserve it, Felicity." He whispered softly, "Because he doesn't deserve it."

Felicity pressed immediately fell to her knees. The lilies falling out of her hands and Oliver's heart broke as he stared at her. He sat down right next to her whispering, "Say it."

"No." She said, her voice loud and Oliver growled, "Don't test my patience, Felicity!"

"Oliv-"

"Dammit! You need to move on!"

Felicity whimpered as she stared at him. A pang hit her chest, "Conner is dead."

Conner Queen was dead.

Her little angel was dead.

Gone.

Never coming back.

"Conner is dead." Oliver sighed as he closed his eyes. A tear leaked out of his right eye before he opened them.

She had done it.

She needed this.

She hadn't seen him once.

He had tried before.

He had failed.

But not this time.

Felicity's hand dug into the mud, her nails filling up with dirt but she didn't care. Oliver's hand hovered over hers for a split second as if wanting to hold it but he moved away, shaking his head. He had no right but suddenly, it was Felicity who was falling against him, her back pressed towards his chest, "He is gone." She mumbled and Oliver felt his heart break right in two.

He hesitated before he wrapped his arm around her, pulling her closer. He waited for two more seconds, expecting a push from her but when she didn't, he hugged her with her both his arms. Tears leaked down his cheeks too and he closed his eyes. Felicity pressed her face against his chest. Hatred be damned. She needed him and as much as he much as he tried to deny he needed her too.

Grief.

_An intense sorrow, especially caused by someone's death. _

When you are grieving all you want is comfort. All you want is to forget about that tragedy.

All you want is love.

Even if it is coming from a person you claim to hate.

…

Courtney sat on the table as she skidded her pen across the case study she was ready. Iris sat on the opposite end, a glass of hot coffee in front of her. Courtney had asked for her help to cover up the cases she had missed while she was in Starling City since Iris was a prosecutor.

"Where is Ray?" Iris mumbled as she realized it was already nine and Ray was usually home by eight, "He won't be back until eleven." Courtney stated, "He is probably hanging out with Wells." She grinned lightly.

"Why?"

"You know why, "Courtney sighed, "He misses Conner too, Iris. Hell, I miss the kid and I knew him for a week or so. He was an amazing kid. "She spoke softly.

"It's hard," Iris mused as she stared at Courtney who nodded, "It is."

"Why did you leave her alone then?" Iris had wanted to ask this question since forever.

Courtney pushed the file away, knowing they weren't going back to work any time sooner, "I don't know Iris. I just wanted her to stand on her own feet and finally accept things."

"You want Oliver and her to get back together, don't you? You know he is the only person she could rely on."

"Nope," Courtney answered, "He is the only person who will understand and she will _choose _to rely on if we aren't there. He is the only one who can help her," She mumbled, "Because it is not just about Conner, Iris. It's about a lot of things."

"They can't even stand each other. They are a divorced couple, Court."

"That's the thing, "Courtney grinned.

"A divorce is between a wife and a husband. It's never between two parents."

"_Never."_

..

**Muahahaha ..many of you expected that plot twist didn't you? Amazing fandom we got there buddy. But I hope it isn't all that cliché because they are things which are still yet to be told.**

**How did you like it? **

**Please Review :D**

**P.S Their marriage has been broken up for ALMOST three years. Give or take. I just wanted it to be natural because who the hell focuses on semantics, right? We just see the damn year not the month.**

**Haha**

**P.P.S if you actually read the story I've been dropping hints every now and then.**

**Conner has always been **_him _**while Oliver has been **him. _**Read chapter two.**_

**Felicity loves that Scooby doo toy.**

**And during Robert's funeral, Felicity imagines Conner beside Sara.**

**It's there.**

**I would thank you all personally. Well, because I'm tired right now and also. Three hundred reviews!**

**Whoopp! **

**Okay, maybe I'm not that sleepy though right now.**

**But definitely lazy.**

**Will PM you guys on Monday or Tuesday. Have an exam on Sunday. Wish me luck x**

**Thank you **

**Love you,**

**Fanfics4you**


	12. Chapter Eleven : Needs and Encounters

**Hey guys, how are all of you?** **I hope all of you are doing well :D**

**First of all, I am completely blown away by the response I received for the last chapter. I never expected anyone to cry and oh my god, the response was phenomenal.**

**Also, many people said that they saw it coming.**

**Of course they did.**

**The arrow fandom is full of geniuses :D**

**AND WE ARE SO CLOSE TO 350! ONLY ONE MORE REVIEW :D AND WE CROSSED 200 FAVURITES AND ALMOST 500 FOLLOWERS, CAN YOU HEAR ME SCREAMING?**

**I LOVE YOU ALL. **

***THROWS VIDEO OF MAVI SAYING NEMO***

**(super adorable baby)**

***Spoilers ahead***

**Speaking of geniuses, did you see the theory of Olicity getting married and riding off into the sunset is piling up?**

**Can you hear me screaming?! Because it really is going to be freaking awesome.**

**And Wednesday is approaching baby!**

**3X20 **

**Finally the moment we all are waiting for plus we get a morning after scene.**

**How cool is that?**

**Super Duper excited**

**I'm bummed about Colton leaving the show though.**

**Will miss him, so much **

**..**

**Okay, so now back to the chapter. I've tons to rant about but I don't have the time :P So, there we go.**

**I have to say thank you to all of you.**

**I mentally made a note of PMing all of you but I'm lazy as hell.**

**I will though, soon. Definitely before I update the next chapter.**

**Thank you ( In no particular order ) (Includes chapter nine too :D) : Simran, guest(1),guest (2), Lady Syndra, .9, guest(3),SH, sehaj, Guest(4), waterbender19,babyshan1, wellwisher123,CealSR, Guest(5),Prydain, Molnia, dearg amadan, alero, Anonymous4nowx, worldwarIII, Lyly-Olicity,Gaialy, lucy1997,sophie,Reader244, StChristina,Guest(6),Salazarjasam,Mah Vrgs, Kamaza, Guest(7), guest(8), Va09,Tuliyana, onetreefan, Mali chorky, Queen Peacock, guest(8),bellapaige88,guest(9),HayleyMikaelson,zvc56,Chaimae,Wazo29,ApekshaStar, SassyReaderGirl,Millz, NerdyDoll, Ashleigh, Theresa, Hecate-san.**

**Responses : **

**Dearg Amadan : I've received an awesome PM from this girl. And don't remember grinning this much when a person is telling me how the broke down (haha :P) I'm glad you liked the last chapter :')**

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**..**

**Okay, now chapter is not BETAED. I'm always super excited for the response so I post first hand.**

**But the amazing Kamaza will beta it soon and it will be up.**

**She is so cooperative. I love her :D**

**I saw my fic links on twitter. And I jumped, I squealed and I love you all.**

**So much :')**

**You made this happen.**

**Thank you!**

**Word count : 7542**

**Disclaimer : I don't own anything that seems familiar.**

"**My only encounter with drugs was with a pot brownie my freshman year. By mistake! Which could have been fun, except I'm allergic to nuts." – Felicity Smoak, 2x07, Arrow.**

**Chapter Eleven : Needs and Encounters **

**( I really suck at naming :p)**

Felicity Smoak sipped her coffee as she leaned against her couch, her eyes fixated on the television screen where Dora the Explorer was playing. Her lips curled up as her eyes flickered towards the three-almost four year old who was holding on to a book, a colouring book placed on it, her right hand moving every now and then as she scribbled the crayons that Felicity had gotten her over a cartoon figure of Pikachu.

"Aunty Fee?" Sara's brown eyes met her and Felicity smiled warmly, "Do you like it?" She showed her the cartoon which she had coloured yellow. Various strokes of the said colour were also coming out of the picture. Felicity looked at it before saying, "I love it."

"Then, will I get cookies for lunch?"

"Sara," Felicity started, "Your mom said-"

"Only one Aunty Fee." She dropped the book on her couch, joining her hands together. Her brown eyes had widened and she could see them shine. Was this the thing John was talking about?

Because it worked.

"Only one." Felicity told her and Sara grinned, showing her two missing front teeth, "But no telling mom, okay? It's our secret." She pressed her finger against her lips.

Sara followed. "Shh." She whispered, "Sara keep secret."

Felicity laughed before ruffling her hair and Sara slapped her away before giggling and then getting back to her crayons, her eyes flickering towards the TV every now and then.

Felicity smiled. Her hold tightened on her cup as she thought about her own child. Sara and he were almost of the same age, him being a few months older. She had always thought about how they would grow up and be best friends and Lyla had suggested they might be even get married. Digg had been so angry while Oliver had just laughed and shrugged it off.

Now that she thought about, talking about Connor was easier now.

She realized that maybe visiting him and confronting that fear isn't exactly wrong. She was afraid that seeing him would make her forget him because she was actually resorting to moving on.

Initially, she pushed everyone away because she thought she didn't deserve anything. She didn't get to live her life if her child didn't. And there was a fear too. She felt if she did move on she would forget him.

She was wrong.

She didn't go back to QC. In normal situations, she would have engrossed herself in work but Oliver would be there. She just needed some time for herself. Maybe make a new software or something.

She had move on.

And it wasn't wrong.

It took a long time to realize that.

She visited Conner's grave daily. It had been on two days since then but she did visit him and Robert. She had a lot to talk about and make up for. She realized she cried less yesterday than the day before that. She was making progress.

A small part of her wanted to thank Oliver. She was sure she would have left the Queen Gardens the other day without even seeing him once. But she hadn't seen him since Conner's birthday. Well, she had made sure of that. She went to the Mansion only when he wasn't there. She was grateful Grammy was. She guessed she was the one who stopped the evil glares she used to receive from Thea and Moira.

She didn't want to see Oliver. She believed the situation would be awkward. The hug that they shared was brief. The moment leaving as soon as it came. It felt good but-

It didn't wipe away the past.

It didn't.

"Aunty Fee?" Sara called out for her and she turned her head towards the little girl. She placed the mug on the table, "Yes?"

It had been two days since John has been dropping Sara at her house. It was better than a babysitter to be honest. She was at home and she could definitely take care of Sara. Usually, the couple dropped Sara off at the Queen Mansion or hire a babysitter for her.

But she was at home and Sara and she got along well. She apparently loved her cakes and Felicity loved kids. It was weird how she didn't like kids before but post Connor, she found them to be the most adorable people on this plant.

She liked spending time with her and didn't mind babysitting. Lyla had to go to A.R.G.U.S while John had his own shifts. She liked spending time with Sara.

"This colour matches your eyes!" She declared before showing her the blue crayon and Felicity laughed, "It matches Uncle Ollie's eyes too!" The child stated gleefully and Felicity playfully narrowed her eyes at the crayon, "It does, doesn't it?" Her voice was full of astonishment, "I like this colour." Sara mumbled.

Felicity laughed before getting up, "I like this colour too."

She made a beeline towards the dining table where her phone kept. Picking it up, she slid her finger on the screen, realizing that it was one pm in the afternoon. Hearing Sara mumble his name triggered a thought. Her thumb hovered over the contact icon for a split second before she shook her head.

He will manage everything on his own.

He has been doing that for the past few years, hasn't he?

…

"Has Miss. Smoak come today?" Oliver asked the minute he entered his office. Gerry shook his head and Oliver heaved a sigh before walking past them and heading towards the desk.

Three days.

She hadn't come back to QC. And Oliver did understand her turmoil but it didn't help that all of the work load of QC was on his shoulders. It had been a few stressful days.

A chorus of heels echoed across the small space as Evelyn followed Oliver inside who sat on his chair. He leaned forward, his fingers moving on the keyboard, "What's today's status?"

Evelyn furrowed her eyebrows, "Sir, you have meeting with Isabel Rochev. Applied Sciences Division has a new idea and they want to discuss it. Also, a meeting with the shareholders of this company. The stock exchange ratings are in."

Oliver frowned, "The share market ratings? I thought that was Felicity's job-" He stopped momentarily.

But she wasn't around, was she?

He closed his eyes for a second and he raised his hand in the next. Opening his eyes, he parted his mouth ready to say something when he was interrupted.

Seeing John entered the cabin, Oliver raised his fore finger pausing mid conversation with Evelyn. "Please tell me you got me a cup of coffee and something to eat." Oliver groaned and Digg laughed, "Already stressed?" He asked him while Evelyn bit back a groan.

That was her job, wasn't it?

Luckily for her, Oliver waved his hand in the air making her leave. Evelyn promptly exited the office followed by walking out of the assistant booth. She needed to get him coffee.

"Yeah," Oliver sighed, "I have so much to do." He said while John sat opposite him, "I have a meeting with Isabel Rochev. God that is woman is despicable. And then we have the shareholders to talk to and that was Felicity's-" He paused and John smiled knowingly.

"It was Felicity's job." He completed and he had rendered Oliver speechless for a second. A look of realization did cross his face before he shrugged it off, "I'll manage." He bit out, "Is there anything you need? Coffee, tea?" He tried to change the topic.

John laughed as he got up, "I don't need anything Oliver." He made a dramatic pause, "But you definitely need Felicity." He said turning around.

Oliver didn't like it. He pushed his hands against the table before getting up. He knew staying here, he won't be able to focus and even more so after Diggle's great insight (note the sarcasm).

"I am going to Verdant today." He declared as he walked past Diggle.

Gerry blinked rapidly, "Sir, we are already behind schedule-"

Oliver shot him a look which shut him up for good before walking out. He ignored Evelyn's presence who had just joined the three people, a mug of black coffee in her hand. Evelyn frowned as Oliver walked past her, "Co..ffee?" She murmured, confusion stark across her face.

John smiled before taking the mug from her hands, "I'll take that." He sipped the coffee, his legs moving as he made a dash towards the lift.

He chuckled to himself.

When will Oliver ever really learn?

…

Laurel smiled to herself as she entered her house. She had told her dad and her sister to not come home tonight. She wanted to do something special.

It was Valentine's Day tomorrow.

Every year, she plans this day. Oliver usually doesn't but she gets it. It was four days post Connor's birthday so she gets it. But despite that, he celebrates it with her and the two of them have a good time.

This year too.

It would be amazing.

She would make sure of it.

…

**December 2008**

_Laurel was sure Oliver was going to break up with her._

_Well, to be very honest the relationship wasn't really working out._

_But there was hope._

_She wanted it to work._

_She wanted to give it a try._

_But maybe fate wanted something else._

"_We need to break up Laurel." The female in question closed her eyes, small tears leaking down her cheeks as the reality of the situation hit her_

_Doesn't mean it has to hurt less._

"_I-" She paused, she knew the reason too, didn't she? "It's because of Felicity, isn't it?"_

_Oliver was taken aback before he nodded his head, "Yes." And Laurel didn't know whether to laugh or cry. _

"_Did you kiss her, Oliver?! Did you sleep with her?" A sense of betrayal was still there. Five years and they go down the drain for a woman he knew for a year?_

_Oliver looked appalled, "I didn't. I won't do that to you." He uttered, "I didn't. She doesn't even know I like her." He was speaking the truth. She could see that._

_There it was._

_Oliver Queen was a playboy once who just knew how to screw people's feelings._

_And now, he cared for them. _

_He had changed._

_Something that she wanted to do._

_Something that Felicity Smoak had done._

_Without even realizing it._

_Is this what love is?_

_In hindsight, she should have seen this coming._

_It was pretty obvious, wasn't it? _

"_You know," She took a deep breath, "I always thought it was going to be the two of us. I always looked past your mistakes, hoping for you to be the better man. To be a successful man," She raised her hands in the air, "And then, you cheat on me. I forgave you. You tried screwing my sister, I forgave you because I hoped we'll be strong together. We faced it together and..what happened to us, Oliver?"_

_Oliver pressed his fingers to his head before answering her, "That's the thing Laurel. We expect so much from each other," He walked towards her, "We are not in love with each other. We love the idea of the other. You love the guy you expect me to be. And I, I have never been faithful to you. I take you for granted. You don't deserve me."_

"_You're right, I don't." She sniped out, surprising Oliver, "Get out of here Oliver." _

_She didn't deserve a man who was in love with someone else. She didn't. Cheating is one thing-she expected him to learn, to realize that he was in love with her._

_But clearly, that didn't happen._

_Oliver wanted to say something but he sighed and shook his head. He began to walk out and stopped midway, he didn't turn around though. He moved his head sideways, "I'm sorry, Laurel."_

_And just like that he was out of her life._

_Laurel almost growled in frustration. She had tried so much to fix this relationship. And now, this happens._

_She had always been jealous of Felicity. She knew the kind of spark Oliver and Felicity shared. _

_And now, she had lost him to her._

_Life is funny sometimes._

_It takes it a split second for it to crumble._

_And now, Oliver was out there chasing the girl of his dreams._

_And she was stuck here alone._

…

Tommy was stuck at Verdant. It was five in the evening and he had sent Thea back home because he wanted her to relax. The girl had been sweating since the very beginning because they were many people to tend to tonight.

It was a day before Valentine's Day and the club would be in full swing tonight. A couple of bouncers were appointed for tonight and all the workers were busy decorating the space, making it a bit romantic.

To top it all, there was hen party to be organized in the VIP lounge. So, he had to take care of that. And there was a new one under construction, which he had to check on repeatedly.

It was a long day.

Well, the only thing he could hope for is leaving tonight with a girl on his arm. Sometimes, he wished he would find a girl who could change him. He wanted to settle down. His best friend had settled down _once _and is on the way of settling down again and here he was, a Casanova.

It took him time but he got over Laurel. It was tough but he did. He realized now that Oliver and she were together, it didn't hurt him much. Although, it did fill his heart with envy but it definitely wasn't jealousy. When Oliver had started dating Felicity, Tommy had tried his chances with Laurel but when she rejected him, he moved on.

But look at him now, he still was alone wasn't he?

…

Oliver entered Verdant late at nine pm. He would have come sooner. He left QC at twelve but he chose to go back to his apartment (their old one) because he needed some time alone, just to think.

_And you need Felicity._

In all honestly, he did. He was the CEO of a multinational company and so was she. Initially, he expected doing all of this on his own, but now that she was a part of it, he did rely on her.

He won't lie.

He did need her.

She was his partner.

He knew the reason why she wasn't coming. He too felt awkward after the hug. It did feel good though. Just to be there and cry. Cry for the life they had lost and for the lives that had been ruined.

Oliver never really cried in front of anyone. But that day he did. Felicity and he needed each other in a twisted way.

At that point, a traitorous part of him did feel good. It felt good to just hold her and be with her. To be with someone who understood your pain completely.

He shrugged these thoughts as he entered Verdant, his eyes looking for Tommy. A faint sound reached his ear and he furrowed his eyebrows, trying to concentrate and locate the source of it which was quite difficult considering the DJ in the club that was in full swing. He was pretty sure it was the new VIP lounge in construction and he felt a bit guilty for not visiting Verdant sooner. He walked out, reaching the alley where he found Tommy.

Sharp noises reached his ear and he felt the urge to press his palms against his ears. He looked at Tommy, moving his eyebrows upwards in a gesture that said 'What?'

"Oliver!" Tommy yelled the minute he saw him while Oliver gazed at the men who were drilling the wall, the noise ricocheting across the entire space. Wooden logs were placed in a criss cross manner, workers standing up on them.

The work was in full swing.

Oliver at first didn't really hear Tommy calling him but when he shoved his shoulder, he turned, "What?"

He could hear Tommy say something and he frowned, before nodding his head pretending that he understood everything. He even managed to smile.

But he didn't understand anything. He heard fragments of sentences, the word party and wine were the only words that he actually got.

And then Tommy shoved a bottle of red wine in his left hand. His right hand was still bandaged and undergoing physiotherapy.

A Cabernet Sauvignon to be specific.

Wow.

Like really.

Wow.

Felicity used to love that drink.

His eyes widened as he gazed at the bottle before grinning at Tommy. He muttered something else and Oliver continued nodding his head before pointing towards the exit. Tommy understood what he meant and nodded his head.

Oliver wanted to say something else too but figured that he won't be able to hear him anyway so he just shrugged it off. He walked inside the club once again, his eyes flickering towards the VIP lounges and he was sure that a hen party was going on in one. The other one seemed occupied by a couple of guys. The club was filled with red and white balloons and it went with the blue-purplish light of the club.

His hold on the bottled tightened as he decided to walk out of the club. Tommy had everything handled. Making sure to pay a visit to the kitchen staff, he told them to serve something to the workers too.

And then he exited the club.

…

**December 2008**

_Felicity wanted to exit the house._

_Which was pretty bad considering the fact that she had just arrived._

_Robert Queen had invited her to dinner._

_And she was freaking out._

_Oliver stood right beside her, reassuring her. But easy for him to say, right? He was his son._

"_Felicity," Oliver declared and Felicity rolled her eyes. She sighed, wiping off the imaginary dust off of her red dress. Oliver laughed lightly before offering her his hand and Felicity grinned lopsidedly before putting her hand in his, "Nothing will happen, okay? Trust me." _

_Felicity closed her eyes for a second before opening them and nodding her head. _

_The two entered the house, Felicity's eyes flickering around the way it did every time she entered this mansion._

_It was freaking huge._

_And beautiful._

_Oh, so beautiful._

_She didn't notice someone running towards her. A second later, the girl had flung herself at her, "Felicity!" The female in question looked downwards, a huge grin on her face, "Hey Thea." _

"_You look beautiful," The fifteen year old gushed as she stared at the blonde and Felicity smiled, "So do you." She said looking at her black dress. Thea pulled away before lowering Felicity down, whispering in her ear, "I need to talk to you."_

"_Is this about Liam?" She murmured softly, referring to the boy she had a crush on and Oliver frowned. Thea blushed before nodding her head._

"_Hey there Blondie," Felicity lifted her head to look towards Tommy who was holding a glass of wine in hand, "You're here too?"_

"_Why? You don't like it?" He cocked an eyebrow at her, "Are you saying you don't like me?"_

"_And here I thought you were smart." Felicity let go of Oliver's hand as she started making her way towards Tommy._

_Oliver narrowed his eyes._

_Thea tapped her foot as she watched Felicity's retreating figure. Looking at her brother, who was gritting his teeth, she smirked, "So Felicity is here."_

_Oliver looked at his younger sister, "Thank you Captain Obvious."_

_Thea grinned, "My pleasure Lieutenant Sarcasm." She laughed while Oliver rolled her eyes, "So, are you going to tell her you lurrrvve her?"_

"_Shut up."_

"_Felicity!"_

_Oliver wrapped his arm around Thea's neck, pulling her towards him, his arm tightened kinda like pulling her in a headlock, "Don't you talk too much?"_

"_I don't-" Thea squealed loudly as Oliver dragged her._

…_._

_Felicity was in the library. _

_And just like every other part of the house, it was frigging huge. She had explored the entire house. In all honesty, she had wanted to do that since the very beginning but she felt awkward. How could she ask Oliver that she wanted to see his house?_

_She did once though._

_Damn verbal diarrhoea._

_Oliver had laughed it off._

_She sighed to herself, her hand moving to touch the spines of various books, their names etched on it before picking out the book she loved the most._

_Wuthering Heights._

_She had always been a fan of age old classics, her hand always stopped on books like Pride and Prejudice and Emma or fantasies like Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings._

_Oliver knew that._

_He just wasn't interested._

_The only book that he ever read was The Odyssey anyway. Which BTW was an amazing book in her opinion._

_She was about to open the book when a knock at the door caught her attention. She frowned for a second knowing it wasn't Oliver. The guy never knocks._

_Never._

_Even back at IT department he doesn't. His excuse his that it wasn't the ladies department but the IT department._

_Not good enough._

_Nevertheless, Oliver was Oliver._

_She turned and gasped, the black book dropping to the ground as she stared at Robert Queen. She laughed nervously and mentally kicked herself for dropping the book, "Sorry." She mumbled before crouching down and picking it up._

_Robert laughed, "I never really thought myself of the scary type."_

"_No," Felicity spoke, "You're not. I mean of course not. It's just that-" She waved her hands in the air, the book clenched in one, "Your personality is really intimidating." She paused, "And it's not like we talk much. I mean you did say thank you to me and we talked once before that. I like it but you still have the power to…" Her eyes widened, "Fire me." She ended before taking a deep breath, "Three...Two...One."_

_Robert looked at her, amused, "I can see why you're different."_

_Felicity frowned, "What?"_

"_Thank you." Robert chose to say instead and Felicity blinked, "It's been three months since Verdant opened. You did say me thank you." She stated and Robert let out a breathy laugh._

_Okay, so she guessed this is how it became Oliver's habit._

"_Thank you for making my son grow up. He has changed." _

_Felicity bit her lip._

_What was she supposed to say?_

_She thought about it for a second before speaking, "It was all him, Mr. Queen. I didn't do anything. He did everything. He wanted to do everything for you. For himself and he did. He just was confused. He didn't want to work at Queen Consolidated but wanted to do something else. I just helped it see it. Rest was all him. His hard work, his compassion. Tommy's too," She added her friend's name, "They have been working really hard."_

_Robert beamed, "Well, then I guess it's a good thing that you'll always be around."_

"_Yeah," Felicity spoke, "As a friend of course. For both Oliver and Tommy." She uttered the last part hurriedly._

_Robert laughed this time, "Kids these days." He murmured causing Felicity to frown._

_Did she amuse him?_

_She made a fool out of herself, didn't she?_

"_No, you didn't." Robert answered and Felicity's eyes widened, she uttered the last part out loud?_

_She groaned._

_Fortunately for her, Robert ignored it, "Come on, my wife wants to meet you too. She seems to love you."_

"_Really?" Felicity frowned, "She doesn't seem the loving type."_

_Robert laughed._

_Felicity groaned._

…

Felicity bit back a groan as she walked her townhouse. She had just visited Connor's and her dad's graves and had also managed to fetch some Chinese food on the way.

And she was tired.

Her phone buzzed and she slid her finger on the screen, reading it.

It was a message from Gerry.

_Check your mailbox. QC related._

She frowned before walking towards the mailbox. It was a good thing that the message came right now or else she would have been too lazy to actually walk out of her house.

She opened the box only to find a black file inside. The words 'Queen Consolidated Salary Structure' were written on it.

Moving inside her house, she dropped the take away boxes on the kitchen slab. She walked upstairs, reaching her room where she walked straight to her bathroom and changed. Ten minutes later, she came out, wearing the most comfortable pair of pyjamas she owned. She picked up a pen from the pen stand that was lying on her study table before getting comfortable on the bed.

And then, she began to read.

And read.

And read.

Almost forty five minutes later, when she had finished reading the entire file did she sign. Biting the tip of her pen, she frowned seeing that Oliver hadn't signed the papers.

She reached for her phone, dialling Gerry's number. She bit her lip as she heard it ring and a second later, someone picked up.

"_Yes, ma'am?"_

"It's Felicity, Gerry." She didn't why she tried. Gerry never listened.

"I was reading the documents that you had sent. First of all, how did know where I live?" She didn't tell anyone as such. Well, Digg knew.

"_I asked ." _

Felicity nodded before shaking her head realizing that Gerry can't see her. She figured that much. "Oliver hasn't signed the papers."

"_What?" Gerry's voice was full of surprise, "Evelyn didn't make him sign it? Shit!" He swore._

And Felicity blinked, "Calm down. It's the salary papers. When I would come to QC tomorrow, I would give it to him. I wanted to talk about-"

"_Ma'am today is Friday. Tomorrow, the bank would be open only till twelve. The papers won't reach the bank in time and the people would receive the salary by Tuesday. We are already running late due to Mr. Queen's death. The salary needs to enter the bank accounts of the office staff by the first of every month."_

"How come no one told me about this?" Felicity cursed herself too. She knew that salaries reach the employee by first. But she had so much on her mind-how come the employees didn't protest or something?

"_You both have a lot on your plate lately." Gerry told her, "We just figured-"_

"Leave the figuring to us," She said, making sure her voice didn't come out as rude. Is this why dad handed over the company to them?

"Why don't you come and pick up the documents and take it to the Queen Mansion."

"_Ma'am, I am a bit busy." He told her._

Felicity frowned, "Busy-?"

"_Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. I want to spend the twelve am-"_

"Oh. _Oh." _Felicity mumbled, "That's fine." She pressed a hand against her head, "I'll-I'll do it." She dropped the pen on the bed, "I'll do it."

"_You will?"_

"We can't delay this any longer." Felicity mumbled, "Thank you Gerry."

"_It's my job..Felicity."_

Felicity hung up before leaning back, a groan escaping her lips. She laid on the bed, her legs crossed Indian style.

She moved her arm, grabbing a pillow and then pressed it on her face.

She groaned.

So much for a movie night.

…

**31****st**** December 2008**

_Well, this night was eventful._

_Like really eventful._

_And Felicity was sure that she would remember it forever._

_Because here was Oliver Queen actually fessing up that he liked her._

_Well, it was unexpected for him and her, both. _

_It started with him talking about Laurel and telling her that their break up was something that was inevitable and this year he would chase the girl that he liked very much._

_Felicity was jealous._

_But then again, Oliver wasn't really hers, was she? That is when the curiosity kicked in._

_Who was this girl?_

_But Oliver shrugged the topic off._

_She babbled about she would go home and call Ray. And would probably set her priorities straight this year, her mind made up that she would actually try to move on from Oliver. And this year she would date and try to settle into a good relationship. _

_Oliver's anger flared up and Felicity was flustered. He had been acting really weird lately and Felicity claimed it to be protectiveness and just friendly flirting._

_She thought about the alternative too._

_More so after Laurel and him broke up._

_But not wanting to be led on, she shrugged it off._

_Oliver couldn't be talking about her, could he?_

_Eh, not possible._

_Clearly, she was wrong._

_Because while she was talking about how she would finally give her sex life a push, Oliver shouted saying he liked her. That she was the one he wanted to be with this year._

_All Felicity could do was blink._

_The clock buzzed and squeals ricocheted across Verdant telling Felicity that 2009 had begun. In normal situations, she would have been murmuring the countdown but now she was speechless._

_Oliver Queen rendered Felicity Smoak speechless._

_He admitted he liked her._

_Like, like her._

_More than a friend like her._

_She blinked and Oliver bit his lip, which made him look sexy but Felicity really needed her focus at this point, "What?"_

"_I like you." Oliver started, "More than a friend." He paused, "And since I've embarrassed myself already. I might as well talk further." He blinked._

"_I like the way you babble. The way you talk to yourself thinking that no one is around. The way you talk to your computers." He sighed, a small smile on his face and Felicity swore her heart started beating faster, "The way you always know how to make me feel better. To not expect anything but still believing in me." _

_Felicity almost cracked a grin._

"_So, yeah. I like _you. _And I know you won't believe me and I know, it is my fault. I should have realized this sooner-"_

"_Hey."_

_One word and Oliver stopped. It was soft and Felicity wanted to say tons of things. She wanted to tell him how long she had wanted to hear this and how much had she waited for this very moment-_

"_Oliver, I like you too." She mumbled and Oliver flashed her the biggest grin she had even seen, "I've liked you for a long time. Still do." Oliver blinked, how did she feel when he talked about Laurel in front of her face? He knew she had crush on him but she liked him-_

_It must be painful. And she must be doing it for Laurel and him._

_It hurt._

"_But-"_

_Oliver's face crumbled. _

"_You just broke up with Laurel, Oliver. It's not that easy." She paused, "Before that you were with Sara. It's just that I need-"_

"_You're afraid I'll cheat on you too."_

"_No!" Felicity started, "I know you better than that Oliver. You won't do that to any girl." She mumbled, "You have never _not _been in a relationship. Maybe you're channelling your emotions somewhere else." She stated, "I need stability."_

"_I need time, okay? You need time. You can't just jump from one relationship to another."_

_There was a pregnant pause._

"_Maybe you're just trying to get over, Laurel-"_

"_This is real, Felicity." Oliver walked towards her, "It's real."_

_Felicity smiled softly, "We need stability. So, maybe we should take this slow, okay? Give me some time..to process things?"_

_Felicity liked him, she did._

_Hell, she thought she loved him._

_But did he feel the same way?_

_She just needed time to process things._

_As much as it made her heart swell up with hope. _

_She needed time. _

"_I understand."_

_Oliver understood._

_Doesn't mean it has to hurt less._

_He broke up with his five year old girlfriend a week ago and here he was in front of Felicity. _

_She had to have doubts. _

_This must be too much for her._

_She wanted stability._

_His heart swelled up with the possibility of a stable relationship._

_She thought they could last._

_If she needed time, then she'll get it._

_She waited for him._

_He could wait for her._

_He would wait for her._

_And maybe, it wasn't that bad. _

_Because later that night, when he followed Felicity who was standing outside in the alleyway that led to Verdant, she was gazing at the stars. She didn't even turn to face him, just staring up at them._

_She mumbled about how her father once told her that Sirius was the new-year star and how it shined the brightest on New Year's. _

_Oliver just smiled as he heard her speak. She rarely talked about her father. He moved his hand, hesitatingly before stopping it mid-air. But last minute, he shrugged the thought off before reaching for her hand._

_Felicity looked at him the minute she felt his fingers on her knuckles. And Oliver almost kicked himself mentally for even trying that._

_But then, Felicity opened her palm and interlocked her fingers with his. Her hand felt soft and warm and Oliver didn't want to let go of it._

_She turned and looked towards the stars once again, not saying a word._

_But Oliver had the brightest smile on his face as he held her hand._

_There was hope._

_Maybe waiting wasn't that bad._

…

Felicity didn't like to wait.

But this is what she had to do. She wanted to go back to her home and just go and lie in front of her television and eat the Chinese food which she hadn't even opened.

She was afraid that she would give into the temptation and would stay in her house rather than coming over here and seeing Oliver. It took her a good ten minutes to convince herself into leaving and changing into a t-shirt and jeans along with a pair of sneakers.

It was comfortable.

She got up and headed towards the window, her eyes fixing on the graves that laid there. The flowers she had left their earlier that night were still there.

Maybe she should go and visit them again.

Felicity was thankful that Moira was in her room and Thea wasn't around.

But grammy wasn't around either.

And she also thankful about the fact that Oliver was here.

It was eleven pm and tomorrow was Valentine's day, she expected him to be with Laurel.

The thought suddenly made her frown. A pang hit her chest at the thought of it and she frowned.

Since when did she care?

Thankfully for her, Raisa interrupted her spree of thoughts. She was holding a tray, a glass of red wine kept over it.

Felicity's eyes brightened.

…

Oliver was looking for his belt when he heard a knock at his door. He walked towards the door and peeked his head out. Raisa looked at him, "Felicity is here."

Oliver blinked, surprise etched on his face, "She is here?" He asked "Yes," Raisa answered, "I'll be down in two." He answered, "Get her something to drink, meanwhile."

"You don't need to tell me that, Oliver." Raisa said softly, "I'll get her some wine."

"Red?"

Raisa frowned, "I think we're out of the red one."

Oliver bit his lip, "She likes red." He uttered.

What was he supposed to do, now?"

Five seconds later, he had a light bulb moment.

He turned his head and caught the sight of the bottle Tommy had handed over to him. Letting go of the doorknob, he headed towards the table where the bottle was kept. He smiled before picking it, "Cabernet Sauvignon," He mumbled right before he handed over the bottle to Raisa , "Give her this. She used to love it."

Raisa flashed him a knowing smile before leaving, the bottle in her hand.

Oliver turned around and moved his head across the room, continuing with his search. Ten seconds later, he found it. He put it on before reaching for the brown leather jacket that was lying on his bed. He was about to put it on when his phone started ringing.

He grinned to himself when he saw on the name, "Hey Tommy," He said as he placed the phone against his ear.

"_You reached Laurel's?"_

"Not yet." He mumbled, "What about you? Still at Verdant?"

"_Yup." Tommy answered from the other end, "It's pretty stressful here."_

Oliver felt guilty hearing this, "How about I'll drop by at the club by twelve thirty. I'm sure Laurel will understand." He offered and he could hear Tommy let out a sigh of relief from the other end, _"That works for me. It's pretty hectic here. Especially with the hen party. God knows what would have happened if hadn't stopped them from drinking that spiked drink, I handed over to you. Did you throw it?"_

Oliver frowned, "Spiked?"

"_Yup." Tommy said, popping the 'p', "They were about to make the bride drink the red wine. Luckily, I saw one of the girls messing with the drink. When I asked her she said that the bride was her best friend and she just wanted her to loosen up for tonight. Yeah, right." Tommy scoffed, "I'm telling you. She would have totally acted like a drunkard who had just downed a few bottles,"_

Oliver paled, "Is that what you were telling me in the alley way?"

"_Yeah." Tommy answered, seemingly unaware about the situation._

"Tommy..I..I got to go." He stuttered before placing his phone in his pocket and then running out of his room. Discarding the jacket on the floor, he ran. "Felicity!"

…

Felicity was grinning to herself. She didn't even know why. Maybe it was because the drink tasted heavenly.

It was so yummy.

She thought about asking Raisa for one more glass. "Rai-"

"Felicity!"

"Oliver," She smiled brightly, her eyes squinting behind her glasses.

Since when did everything seem so blurry?

She got up, her feet wobbling lightly before standing up her. The man in question appeared in front of her and Felicity showed her pearly whites, "Oliver." She repeated before shoving the wine glass in his face, "Get me more." Her voice was slurry as she ordered him.

"What-"

"It's super tasty." Felicity mumbled, licking her lips. "I want more." She shoved the glass against his chest, "Gimme more!"

"Fuck." She heard him mumble and she almost gasped at the word, "You don't swear, Oliver! You would get punished!" She looked around, "What if someone heard you?"

Oliver's expression looked like he was constipated. Did he not eat well?

"I'm not-!" Oliver stopped mid-sentence, frustrated. He placed a hand on her cheek, his eyes meeting hers as he realized that her pupils were dilated. "Shit." He mumbled and Felicity closed her eyes.

"Felicity," He spoke softly while Felicity leaned her head against his palm, her eyes closed, "Are you listening to me?" Felicity hummed, her eyes still closed, "Soft."

"You want more wine, don't you?" Felicity's eyes opened at that, a surprised gasp escaping her lips as she nodded her head vigorously, her lips pressed together, which oddly reminded Oliver of a child. "Then I will get you some." He told her, "But right now, I need you to sit down, "He pushed her shoulders causing her to sit down on the couch. "Be a good girl and I'll get you two glasses."

"Two glasses?" Felicity's tone was full of awe. "I want two glasses." She clapped her hands together.

"For that you need to sit down," Oliver bit back a smile seeing her expression. He pressed a finger against his lips and Felicity followed, "Keep quiet."

"Keep quiet." Felicity blinked and repeated the gesture.

Oliver eyes caught hold of the file that was on the table before he picked it up. Reading the title of the file, he held on it as he walked past her and headed towards the kitchen, telling Raisa to dump the bottle before walking past Felicity once again, who was sitting on the couch, a finger on her lips and headed up the stairs to fetch his jacket.

God, this was a big trouble.

Luckily, Felicity was behaving obediently.

He didn't notice Felicity's eyes narrowing at the portrait of the Queen Family in the living room.

He definitely didn't notice her glaring at Moira in the picture.

…

When Oliver came back, Felicity was gone.

Oliver swore to himself.

"Felicity?" He asked, his head moving around hoping to locate the blonde.

He heard someone giggle.

"Felicity?" His ears perked up but he didn't find anyone.

"Oliver!" Felicity said her name and Oliver turned his head, only to see her standing at the top of the stairs.

How the hell did she reach there?

"Fe-"

"I am going to meet Moira, Oliver." She declared with a huff and Oliver's eyes widened. Her grammy and Thea were out. The only person inside the mansion was his mom, "I'm going to tell her that she is a bitch."

"Felicity-" Oliver started as he started running up the stair but Felicity only giggled as she started running towards her room. "Moira Derdenene Queen!"

She didn't even get her name right.

"Fuck." Oliver swore to himself as he ran after her.

Tonight is going to be one long night, isn't it?

…

**Did you like it? I was excited about the end..and I hope I portrayed it well. **

**Please review or PM me your thoughts.**

**Even the non-existing readers. You guys need to review to show me that you exist (haha :P )**

**My jokes are really lame.**

**I'll see you after 3x20.**

***Pushes the first aid kit in your direction***

"**To survival!"**

**Thank you so much for the responses x **

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** Srishti369**

**And ..thanks a ton xx **

**Next Update : 27 April 2015**

**Next Chapter : The drunk chronicles of Felicity Que-Smoak **

**Thank you.**

**Signing out, **

**Srishti ( It's a hindi word for world. :D )**

**P.S How many of you watch Empire? :p**

**Don't you just love Cookie? **


	13. Chapter Twelve : The Drunk Adventures

**Okay, I so wanted to update earlier and I had started the chapter with the same duration in mind for every chapter but this chapter turned out to be humongous.**

**Word Limit : 12650 **

**Yup, twelve thousand words. I've been at this chapter for the past week now. I'm sorry but I have continuous exams in school. I have one on Tuesday then Wednesday then Thursday and so on. And then I have a big three sixty marker test on the next Monday. So, sorry but I can't make up much time. It's my last year of high school and they are killing us.**

**Also, I would have ranted out but it's seven am here and I don't have the energy.**

**Not betaed but soon will be. Kamaza also has betaed the others chapters but I'm too lazy too post.**

**Thank you to everyone for making us reach 383 reviews! And over 500 followers and so many favourites.**

**I would thank you all but I'm sleepy and my parents are about to wake up.**

**Next chapter or maybe a PM.**

**I know I always say I would PM.**

**But one day I would.**

**One day.**

**Haha.**

**Thank you for everything *Throws pictures of Oliver and Felicity in Nanda Parbat***

**NOT BETAED. **

**Disclaimer ; I don't own anything but the plot and Courtney.**

"**They say 'It will get better.'**

**They lie.**

**It doesn't get better.**

**You just get used to it."**

**Chapter Twelve : The drunk adventures of Felicity Que-Smoak**

Felicity remembered the first time she had pot brownie.

Well, she didn't remember but her friends and Cooper had given her a vivid explanation of what she had done.

She screamed at a teacher (she remembered cringing when she had heard that) and had danced on a table.

And then she went into anaphylactic shock.

Right there on the table.

In front of everyone.

Which later on made Felicity sad. Because she did have a dream of getting drunk and someone just recording her antics.

Her allergy took the fun out of it.

But she did realize that being drunk heightened her emotions.

But, since then, she never really got drunk.

And so she never really went into her vampire mode (she seriously needed to stop watching television shows.)

She'd wondered if that was a good thing or a bad one.

Because being drunk has its consequences.

But it sure is fun as hell.

Besides, she got drugged.

Not drunk.

Drugged.

Eh, that sounds worse.

…

"Moira!" Felicity screamed again. Her drunken self was grateful she was wearing white sneakers as her feet moved rapidly.

Meanwhile, a string of curses were coming out of Oliver's mouth as he climbed up the stairs, two steps at a time. "Dammit!"

Felicity reached the door and narrowed her eyes at them.

Moira Queen was one diabolical woman.

She needed to be taught a lesson.

She moved back and raised her jean clad leg in the air. She had seen this in movies. She would kick the door open and Moira would be shocked before she would beg for forgiveness, crawling on her knees.

She grinned wickedly. But before she could do so, two strong arms held her waist and lifted her in the air. Felicity's eyes turned into small planets and before she could open her mouth to scream, a hand was removed from her waist and placed on her mouth.

Still she screamed.

It was muffled.

Oliver groaned when he heard the sound of shuffling from the other end of the door. He held on to Felicity before moving his head. He spotted a door that he was sure was some sort of storeroom. They had tons of these small rooms across the house. Felicity's head was against his chest when he spoke, "Don't scream, okay?" He told her and Felicity's eyes brightened as she nodded her head vigorously.

"Felicity." He was serious.

Her eyes lowered and Oliver sighed before he removed his hand from her mouth, "Don't." He said again and before Felicity could blink he had opened the door and had pushed Felicity in, "Oliver!"

"Stay inside and keep quiet. Or I won't be getting you those drinks." Oliver told her as he turned the light on and Felicity whimpered, "But-"

"Please." Oliver looked at her and Felicity groaned, "But I want to-"

"Rude!" Felicity told him before kicking the door. She cursed the next second as pain resonated in her right foot. She hopped on it, "Frack."

…

Oliver looked at his mother, his eyes wide, "Hey mom." Moira smiled at him, "Did you call me?"

"_I did!"_

Moira frowned, "Wh-"

Oliver coughed violently, "I did." He patted his chest before leaning down. He was standing way to close to the door to the storeroom. "I called you mom."

"Why?" Moira's eyebrows furrowed.

"_Because I wanted to tell you that you are a-"_

Oliver coughed even more violently. He leaned against the door and slammed his hand on it two times, rather harshly.

"Are you okay?" Oliver was acting weird.

"Of course." Oliver answered, his back now against the door of the storeroom, "I was-"

Oliver frowned, his mind reeling.

"I was thinking about spending some time together with you and since dad is not around, I-" Oliver paused, "Yeah? I mean, it's been way too long." He had been far too caught up in all of this. He knew his dad wasn't around and come to think of it, he really had been a reckless son of not thinking about his mom, "I don't have the time now. You know…Laurel," He added, "But tomorrow. A date?"

Moira grinned, her smile genuine, "Of course, sweetheart."

"Are you heading to Laurel's?"

"Yeah." He answered, "I'll see you later?" He asked her and Moira nodded, "Good night."

"Night."

The minute the door shut, Oliver opened the door to the storeroom.

His eyes flickered around. The yellow bulb illuminated the small room. A ladder was lying in one corner. They were wooden shelves towards his left where stacks of toilet paper and cloth that he was pretty sure was used for dusting were kept.

"Felicity?" He narrowed his eyebrows, trying to locate the blonde. A sound that was close to scowl resonated through the small space and Oliver blinked, "Felicity?"

A second later, he spotted her. Her blonde hair which weren't in their usual ponytail were hiding her face which was pressed against knees that were brought up to her chest. She was hiding her face, the loose sleeves of her grey t-shirt hung loosely and he was sure that Felicity had deliberately pulled them forward.

She looked good.

It took a second for Oliver to realize that it was his t-shirt.

Before he could think about it further, she had lifted her head and was looking at Oliver. Then she turned her face away.

"Felicity?" Oliver's eyebrows furrowed, "Go away." She mumbled.

"What?"

"Go away." Felicity declared, her pale coloured lips pouting involuntarily, "What?" Oliver questioned, "Why?"

"You pushed me in a closet." Felicity turned her head sharply towards him, "You are a meanie," She crossed her arms, "I don't like meanies."

"Fe-li-ci-ty." Oliver groaned, his hands moving in air, "I-I just wanted to-"He racked his brain, "Mom has had a tough time. She is-"

"A bitch!" Felicity moved her arms in the air, her knees still buckled up. "You don't know her Oliver," She suddenly whispered, her eyes wide and innocent as if afraid that someone might hear them, "She looks at me like she will eat me." She moved her hands in the air like claws, "Grrr." She tried to imitate her.

"She doesn't-"Oliver tried protesting but Felicity shrugged him off, "She is."

"My mother is not a bitch, Felicity." Oliver said this as if trying to end the conversation.

But Felicity Smoak was Felicity Smoak.

"You're right." Felicity placed a finger on her chin and Oliver heaved a sigh of relief. "She is a ghost!"

"What?" Oliver blubbered out and Felicity blinked, her head moving up and down, "Yes! She is everywhere Oliver!" She said as she joined her hands, "She has an evil stare." She narrowed her eyes.

"What? No-"

"No!" Felicity stopped him, "You don't know her, Oliver! When I'm anywhere, she stares at me." She narrowed her eyes. She pointed her index and middle finger at her eyes before pointing them towards Oliver's blue ones, "Watching me. Always watching me."

Oliver' mouth parted open for a split second and Felicity continued to ramble, "She is." Felicity's voice trailed off, "Everywhere!" She said, her voice rising, her hands opening to show her palms to Oliver as she tried to exaggerate, "Everywhere." She mumbled, "We need to find her body."

Oliver sat down on his knees, "Is that all you think in your free time?"

Felicity ignored him before she reached for her phone.

"What are you doing?"

"Calling Dean and Sam, stupid." Felicity shook her head at his idiocy, "They will salt and burn her body." She scrunched her eyebrows, "Where did Moira perform voodoo magic when she was alive?"

Oliver laughed all of a sudden before he bit his lip to control it. He snatched away her phone. "I'll take that." He told her before pocketing her phone. The last thing he needed was her drunk dialling someone.

"But Dean and Sam and Castiel-" Felicity blubbered out, reaching for her phone but Oliver had already placed it in his pocket.

"I'll talk to them," He stated before shaking his head. Years later and she still was obsessed with television shows and books.

There was a time he found it adorable.

Now? He just wasn't sure.

"Will you let me watch her burn?"

Oliver frowned, "Ye..ah?" He wasn't sure how to answer that.

Felicity hummed happily and Oliver sighed. "Come on." He stood up, offering her his hand.

Felicity curled further into the small space if that was even possible, "No, I want to sit here."

"What?" Oliver closed his eyes, frustrated, "Felicity."

"No," She declared adamantly, "I will sit here." She pointed her index finger towards the floor, "He..here." She looked at him, "Here only."

"Felicity." Oliver warned.

"I will sit here!" She crossed her arms and pouted. "Here only. It's comfy."

Oliver in the next second had placed his arm underneath her knees and had lifted her up. Felicity squealed as she latched onto Oliver, her wide eyes gazing into his. "You might want to repeat that?"

Felicity huffed as Oliver carried her.

Oliver's hold tightened on her. He remembered when he used to carry her and now that he thought of it, she hadn't gained weight at all. She hadn't changed. Her hair still smelled like strawberries and as if on cue, Felicity jiggled her head causing wisps of her blonde hair to hit his face. He closed his eyes involuntarily before opening them, only to find Felicity staring at him, "What?"

"Nothing." Felicity smiled before she buried her face in his chest and Oliver felt his heart swell up. She was adorable and it had been so long since-he shook his head, "What are you doing?"

"Cuddling with my husband." She grinned at him, "I love it when you carry me." She stated and Oliver was caught off guard. He wanted to say something but he didn't.

Why didn't he say anything?

They reached the gate of the mansion and Oliver dropped Felicity down, although she did protest. "I'll go get the car." He said softly, his hands landing on her shoulders, "And you stay put." Felicity blinked her eyes, "I mean it Felicity. " His tone was firm. "Don't go anywhere."

Felicity nodded.

Oliver ran towards his car. In normal situations, he wouldn't have ran but Felicity was alone and he had a nagging feeling that this won't end well.

When Oliver neared the gate, ready to move his car out when he bit back a groan realizing Felicity had left.

_Again._

"Now what?" It's been _only _half an hour since Felicity had been drunk and-

_Only freaking half an hour._

"Felicity!" He yelled, the minute he got out his black Mercedes. This attracted the attention of the two guards who were standing in front of the gate.

"Where is Miss. Smoak?"

The guards looked at each other for a second before pointing outside. Oliver's eyebrows scrunched up as he walked out of the gate. He tried to look for Felicity amongst the people who were walking on the street only to find Felicity hugging a guy who had a huge white beard and bifocals, "Dumbledore!" She was yelling, hugging the guy happily whose expression Oliver couldn't see. "You're alive!"

Oliver didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

He walked towards his car and got in. His right hand was still bandaged but it had gotten better, thanks to his physiotherapist.

He stopped his car right in front of Felicity and the man before getting out. He bit his lip, trying to control his laughter as Felicity grinned at him, "Oliver! Look, Dumbledore!" She pulled the man's cheek, "He is alive!" The old man looked at him and Oliver straightened up, "Felicity." He said softly, pulling her towards him and the blonde frowned.

"Let's leave, okay? Dumbledore needs to be somewhere else." He declared and Felicity frowned, "Where?" She looked at the man, "Would you take me to Hogwarts?"

The man looked surprized for a second before a small smile came on his face. "I'm so sorry, Sir. " Oliver apologized, "She is just a little..." His voice trailed off. He certainly didn't want to utter the word 'drugged' or 'drunk' for that matter because he knew that Felicity won't believe it-

"Drunk. " The man finished and Felicity narrowed her eyes at him while Oliver groaned.

"If I was drunk, I would know it Mister." She glared at him, "Just because you are a wizard doesn't mean you know everything. " She let out a 'humph' before walking around the car and sitting on the seat beside the driver.

"I'm so sorry." Oliver apologized again but the man laughed, "Don't be." He waved his hand in the air, "I get that every time." He smiled, "Good night. "

"You too." Oliver watched the man leave and frowned, his head tilting ever so slightly. Meanwhile, Felicity rolled down the window, "Did he leave?" She frowned, "I wanted a Hogwarts letter. " Her gaze moved towards her lap.

"You're too old. "

"I could be a professor."

"Hogwarts isn't that good of a school." Oliver declared as he got inside the car.

"How would you know?" Felicity punched his arm, "Bloody muggles." She mumbled and Oliver rolled his eyes as he started the car.

It was silence for the next ten seconds before Oliver turned towards her, "Now where do you live?"

Felicity frowned, "In a house, silly. "

"_Where_ do you live, Felicity?"

"On the street, silly." She answered before grinning at him.

"Felicity-"

His phone started ringing and he raised a finger in the air. Realizing that it was Laurel, he stopped the car at one side of the road before picking it up, "Hey Laurel, "

Felicity's eyes fixated themselves on a sign in front of the club that said 'Valentine's day.' She moved her head forward to read better. The name of the club was Sapphire and it had red lights.

Felicity liked red lights.

So, she got out of the car.

"Felicity!" Oliver yelled, placing a hand on the mouth of his phone as he watched the blonde's retreating figure. "Laurel, I can't. Not today. I'll make up to you tomorrow," He said hurriedly before hanging up and getting out of the car. He didn't realize that he had left his phone in the car while doing so.

"Felicity!"

..

Felicity Smoak was pissed off.

The guard was eyeing her sceptically and wasn't allowing her to go inside. He thought she wasn't dressed club like. She even showed him her small purse that was in the back of her jean pocket and then her driver's license-but no.

Asshole.

Luckily, she had a knight in shining armour.

"Oliver!" She grinned the minute she him heading towards her. Oliver came and stood right beside her before taking a deep breath, "What did I tell you? No running-"

"They aren't letting me in!"

The guard that to some extent resembled Mark Henry cocked an eyebrow towards Oliver, "You are with Oliver Queen?" He asked, his voice heavy.

Felicity nodded her head vigorously before she hooked her arm with Oliver's. She smiled as she leaned her head on his shoulder, "He's my husband."

Oliver turned his head slightly. He was caught off guard as the guard looked at him, expecting a reply. He could have denied it, he should have denied it-

But he didn't.

"I'm…I'm her husband." He stuttered, looking at her and Felicity hummed in content when the guard allowed the two of them inside.

It took Oliver ten seconds to realize what had just happened.

And then another five to realize that they were in Max Fuller's club.

Oh crap.

"Hey Queen,"

And there he was, the devil himself.

Could this night get worse?

"Hey! Aren't you the guy whose fiancé Oliver screwed long before we met?"

He jinxed it, didn't he?

"Oliver." Max greeted the two with a smile and Oliver flashed him a forced one, "What brings you here? Is our party better than the one at Verdant's?"

"No," Oliver smiled, "We just came here to see what not to do the next time we celebrate Valentine's Day at Verdant."

Meanwhile, Felicity had unhooked her arm from Oliver's, her hand latching onto his hand instead as her eyes flickered around. They were loads of people out here. The song 'Kiss me' by Ed Sheeran was echoing through the club. They were couples slow dancing. The ambience was perfect. Red balloons and soft music. The environment was surreal.

"Oliver!" Felicity pulled his hand, "Let's dance!" She pulled his arm and Oliver let her because he seriously needed to get away from Fuller.

The minute Fuller was out of sight, Oliver heaved a sigh of relief before looking at Felicity who was looking at him. He let out a breathy laugh, "I don't dance, Felicity. You know that."

Felicity frowned, "But today is Valentine's Day and you always dance with me!" She pouted but Oliver simply shook his head before he pulled her hand, "No and we're leaving."

"No!" Felicity protested before she released her hand from his, "I'll go dance on my own." She huffed before walking away and Oliver pinched the bridge of his nose, frustrated.

"Felicity!" He said her name the umpteenth time that night.

It was weird.

How much he had loved her name to how he didn't like anyone uttering her name for quite a long time. How he despised that name and now a month in since she has been in Starling and all he is doing is blubbering out her name.

With so much ease.

Felicity always knew how to get to him, didn't she?

…

Felicity huffed again before stomping her foot rather harshly and making her way towards the bar top. The song had changed to John Legend's 'All of me' and Felicity really wanted to dance.

Her wish was answered in the form of Max Fuller approaching her. He smiled at her and Felicity grinned back, "Wanna dance?"

Felicity jiggled her head as a yes before placing her hand in his.

She really wanted to dance.

Max shot her a coy smile. He was about to lead her to the dance floor when a hand was pressed tightly against his shoulder.

Oliver gritted his teeth as he eyed the two set of hands, "I think I can manage that." He told him and Max glared at him, "The lady will get what she wants, Oliver. And right now, she wants to dance."

"I said, I can manage that." Oliver repeated, "She is my _wife, _Max. So, I suggest you let go of her hand." His hold on Max's shoulder tightened. The word wife came out involuntarily and it took a second for Oliver to realize.

"Weren't you two divorced?" He paused, "I don't see a wedding right eit-" Before he could finish both of the occupants retaliated.

Oliver's lips formed a thin line and Felicity suddenly pulled her hand away from Max, "I don't like you." She declared, moving herself closer to Oliver.

Oliver cocked an eyebrow at Max, "I believe the lady spoke." Max glared at Oliver before turning around and walking away.

"What is wrong with you?!" Oliver turned towards Felicity and she narrowed her eyes at him, "What did I do?"

"Dancing with Max, Felicity?"

"You refused to dance with me." Felicity poked her index finger in his chest, "You. You!" She kept poking his chest.

Oliver looked away, not knowing what to do. His eyes caught the sight of a couple of tequila shots lying on the bar, a half cut lemon lying beside it. He moved his hand, picking up the lemon, "Here. Eat this." He shoved the lemon in her face. Lemon would help. He didn't have lemonade here and he could ask, but he was really lacking patience.

Lemon it was.

"Eat this?" Felicity eyed the yellow fruit. She licked it before squeezing her eyes as the taste hit her buds, "It's too sour!"

"It's a lemon, what do you think?!"

Felicity glared at Oliver before throwing away the lime. "Did you joke?" She blinked her eyes, "Ha ha ha." She clapped her hands sardonically, "Idiot." She mumbled as she threw the lemon away.

"Felicity!"

Unfortunately for her, it landed in a girl's drink causing it to spill on her not so cheap white dress.

And then the girl screamed.

Oliver groaned.

Felicity giggled.

Oliver honestly thought that it might be the end of it but the girl walked towards them and shoved Felicity real hard, "You bitch."

As if on cue, the music stopped.

Like, really?

"What?" Oliver let out before stepping in between, "It was a mistake, let's calm down, okay?"

"What calm down?!" Felicity yelled, anger radiating off her, "You bloody slut!" She yelled, seeing her outfit which barely covered her. It was a dress with a sweetheart neckline that exposed her stomach and barely covered her chest or her ass, "Don't call me a bitch, _bitch_!" She narrowed her eyes at her.

"Cake faced monster." She said under her breath.

"Felicity, sweetheart, calm down." Oliver said, his back still facing Felicity, "I'm sorry, Miss. This wasn't supposed to happen," He raised his hands in surrender, "I apologize." He flashed her his 'playboy' grin, hoping she'll melt. "I'll buy you a drink too." He moved his fingers in the air and the bartender nodded his head.

She eyed him warily for a second before smiling slowly.

"It's..okay." She did calm down, "Just control the leach." She pointed towards Felicity, a pissed off look on her face before walking away.

"Thank you." Oliver uttered.

At least something was going right.

"I'm not a leach you fuck-" Oliver turned around and immediately placed a hand on Felicity's mouth. She kept on babbling, her voice muffled and he could see her eyes widen every now and then.

He knew she was cursing.

When she became quiet, he removed her hand. "You shouldn't really curse, you know?"

"She deserved it." Felicity hummed before crossing her arms. "I bet she washes her clothes in a blender."

Oliver bit his lip.

"I see you have made quite a big scene, here." Max made his presence known again and Oliver bit his lip, "Max, not now. Felicity let's go-"

"I don't want to go." She stomped her right foot on the ground and Max grinned like a cheshire cat, "You can leave Oliver. I'm here." He smiled before wrapping an arm around Felicity's waist and squeezing it.

Oliver narrowed his eyes. He gritted his teeth before grabbing Felicity's arm and pulling her towards himself, "She is _my _wife, Max. I can take care of her. Mind your own fucking business." He said harshly before looking towards Felicity. This time the use of the word 'wife' was intentional and he didn't regret it.

"We're leaving." He declared and pulled her arm.

Now he knew why Max hadn't kicked them out in the first place. He wanted to mess with him by using Felicity.

Why didn't he think of this before?

"Bye Max!" Felicity yelled happily as Oliver dragged her out of the club. The minute he let go of her hand, she glared at him. The two were standing on the threshold of the club, right in the middle of the street. It was probably two am at night and the silence was deafening.

"You are such a party pooper, "Felicity murmured, "We should have stayed inside. But no, you have to mess things up." She uttered, "Ahhh! Look at me I'm all broody!" She puffed out her chest, "I wanted to enjoy. You know what? I'm going in!"

"Felicity!" Oliver suddenly yelled at the top of his voice.

He seriously was pissed off now.

The image of Max wrapping his arm around her was burning in the back of his mind.

"I don't want to deal with all of this, right now, okay? We're leaving means we're leaving. No one fucking asked you, okay? I'm telling you."

Felicity blinked.

And then she shoved him real hard.

It was like a sudden switch. His shouting made her recall the past and she shoved him yet again, "Don't shout at me!" She told him and it was a wonder why the guard standing in front of the club hadn't approached them yet.

"What-"

Oliver didn't anticipate what was coming next. A sound echoed across the space and he blinked, his head turned towards right, his cheek red.

_She had slapped him._

"You know that I don't like you shouting!" She continued to yell, "I don't like this side of yours." She crossed her arms.

Oliver's gaze darkened as he stared her. "Did you just fucking slap me?"

Felicity nodded her head happily, "I wanted to teach you a lesson." She clapped her hands, "You left me. You screwed the slut while I watched. You walked out! You! You!" She poked his chest, "And then you shout at me!" She narrowed her eyes at him, "So, I slapped you." She rubbed her hands together. "I've always wanted to do that for so long." She mentally smiled, "You deserved it." She scowled.

Oliver saw red. She was the only person who knew how to press his buttons and she had. It was the thought again. The thought of Ray and her made his anger reach its peak.

Oliver growled all of a sudden and before Felicity could retaliate, he had taken hold of her hands and had slammed it against the wall of the club. Felicity whimpered in pain as her head collided with the wall, "I slept with that bitch because you fucked Ray." He bit out, "You chose him over us." He glared and Felicity stared at him, not turning her eyes away once. "No, I-"

Oliver's hold tightened, "You know what?" He started, "Go inside and fuck Max too! That's all you know how to do, don't you, Felicity?"

Felicity felt tears in her eyes as she pushed Oliver away, "Stay away from me!" She pushed his chest violently, "I never was with Ray. You are a bastard, Oliver!" She yelled in her loud voice.

"I never was with Ray," She whispered before hugging herself before glaring at Oliver, "You screwed that slut!" She glared at him and Oliver huffed before turning his face away. "You ruined our relationship." She mumbled

"I hate you." Felicity said with disgust and Oliver suddenly turned to look towards her, his expression softening for a second.

"Then what is stopping me here?" He regained his momentum and shot Felicity a sharp glare. She narrowed her eyes at him before mumbling, "Get lost then."

Oliver raised his hand in the air as if trying to say something before turning around and walking away.

Felicity felt tears dripping down her cheeks as she hugged herself tighter. She tried to lean against the wall but hissed in pain when her head collided with it.

She sat down, her back against the wall and cried.

She fucking hated Oliver Queen.

…

Oliver started his car and gritted his teeth. He recalled the conversation and his hand on the power steering tightened.

_I never was with Ray._

They say, drunk words are sober thoughts?

What if- Oliver shook his head, she was drugged and it was too late.

_I hate you, Oliver Queen_

He felt a pang in his chest_._

He stopped the car before slamming his hand against the steering wheel.

She was drugged, what about him?

He should have had control on himself.

He recalled her face that had been coiled in pain when he slammed her head against the wall.

He has _never _hurt her.

But tonight, he was just so angry-

She deserved it.

But still, how could he _hurt _her?

He growled, "Fuck." He mumbled before getting out of the car.

He hurt her.

He needed to fix this.

He was the one who got her into this mess.

He was the one who will get her out of it.

…

"Hey," Oliver mumbled as he approached her, his hands tucked in his jean pockets and Felicity looked up, glaring at him through her tear filled eyes, "Go away."

"I'm..I'm sorry, okay?" He closed his eyes, "You just-" He opened them, "You made me angry and I'm sorry."

Felicity rose to her feet, "You hurt me!" She shouted at him before turning her head away, "I hate you." She wiped her tears with her hands, "Get lost."

Oliver sighed, he knew she wouldn't listen to him. "Come here." He said softly and Felicity shook her head, "No. You are a meanie."

Oliver let out a breathy laugh before he stepped in front of her, "Where does it hurt?" They were standing mere inches away from each other.

"You care?" She scoffed.

Oliver decided to ignore her comment and pressed his hand against the right side of her head, "Here?" He asked her before pressing his hand at the back of her head, "Here?" He mumbled again and Felicity flinched but didn't say a word.

Oliver sighed as he pressed the area tightly and rubbed his hand against it, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have reacted that way. You just-" He told her again and Felicity looked up, "Sorry doesn't make everything better, asshole."

"You're drugged and still you have the sass," Oliver noted and Felicity sniffed, "It's not sass. I am stating facts." She tilted her head sideways as the light hit her on face and Oliver could see she was still crying, "I'm not drugged." She paused, "If I was drugged, I would know it. I went to MIT."

"I know that," Oliver smirked before rubbing his hands over her wrists and Felicity flinched, "Sorry." He mumbled before rubbing slow circles on her wrists with his thumb. Felicity looked at him and blinked before turning her attention back to her wrist. "It's okay now, "She mumbled.

"Don't ever hurt me again, okay?"

She looked innocent and suddenly Oliver felt his mind reeling back.

Hurt.

He wanted to laugh a little.

If only the situation had been different.

If only.

But still, he answered it with utmost sincerely.

He tilted his head sideways, his eyes closing for a split second, "Never."

"Good. I'm okay now."

"Then why are you still crying?" He asked her and Felicity closed her eyes allowing the water to escape, "I don't know." She told him, "My eyes like to sweat." She huffed.

"Really?" Oliver smiled, "Is that why you stink?" He pulled her glasses out, Felicity eyes following him. Oliver wiped the moisture on her spectacles with the help of his jeans. He blew a little on each frame before putting it back on Felicity, "There." He made a face when he noticed Felicity's serious expression, "You still stink though." He hoped it would cheer her up.

Felicity raised her arms in the air before sniffing them, "I don't stink." She told him a second later, "Do you think I stink?" She frowned, "I bought this new roll on so I shouldn't sweat. Do you think the people of Dove screwed with me?"

Oliver let out a breathy laugh before he cupped her face with his bandaged hand. Felicity tilted her head sideways, a small smile on her face as Oliver used his thumb to wipe away the moisture. The gesture was soft and slow and Oliver found himself gazing into her eyes. Felicity blinked and Oliver suddenly snapped out of it before he took a step away.

Felicity frowned.

"Uh, we should go." He muttered and Felicity nodded before wrapping her arms around herself. Oliver saw her doing this and sighed before taking off his jacket and holding it out for Felicity, "Here." He said and Felicity took it. He was wearing a black t-shirt underneath.

"Such a gentleman." Felicity grinned before moving her hand to touch his face, "Good boy." She smiled as she moved his face sideways with her hand, "For a person with D in tenth grade algebra, you seem educated." She grinned and pushed his sideways one more time. Oliver's mouth parted open. Felicity took the jacket and moved her right arm through it followed by the left. A huff escaped her lips before she pouted because the jacket was too big for her.

Oliver smiled, sometimes he forgot how tiny she really was. It was still the same thing. Somethings never really change. He sighed before holding Felicity's hand and folding the sleeve that was way too long for Felicity's arm. Both the arms. He fixed the collar and then moved her hair sideways. Felicity smiled, "Now, should we go?"

"Oliver Queen," Felicity started, "You are not a meanie anymore."

Oliver huffed, "Can we just acknowledge the fact that it was you who slapped me first?"

Felicity simply shook her head, "You deserved it."

Whoever said that marriage is a relationship where one person is always right and the other is the husband was a bloody genius.

Really.

A genius.

…

**February 2009**

_For a genius Felicity should have figured out what Oliver was up to. But she hadn't been able to because Oliver Queen had completely blown her away._

_She twitched her fingers, a parody of Oliver's habit that she had caught without even realizing. She was really nervous because it was their first date. She still remembered Oliver pumping his fists in the air when she finally had said yes after a month and giggled._

_She sat on the chair and twitched every now and then. Oliver was late and it wasn't really a surprise but she really hoped he would come soon or else she would overdose on benzos. She already had taken three of them and was contemplating whether she should go for the fourth one or not. _

_Luckily for her, Oliver decided to make his presence known within the next few moments. She whipped her head to see him and he looked-_

_Wow._

_She had seen him in suits before but right now, he looked really hot in his three piece blue suit._

_It was pretty formal._

_But Felicity liked it._

_Oliver smiled at her while walking and Felicity got up the second he came to stand in front of the table. The two looked at each other before exchanging a nervous look and hugged the other. It was nice and certainly lacked the awkwardness that Felicity had felt the first time round. They parted away, their hands that they had interlocked during the hug lingered while doing so._

"_What?" Felicity questioned seeing his expression._

"_Sorry, I'm just-" Oliver mumbled as he sat down._

_Oliver Queen was nervous and Oliver Queen was never nervous._

_The power that this girl held over him._

"_Nervous?" Felicity supplied, "Line forms behind me." She laughed and Oliver smiled lightly before looking at the waiter, "Scotch."_

"_Water for me," Felicity spoke and Oliver stopped the waiter before looking at Felicity, his eyebrows hiking up, "Are you sure? Because it might sorta help with-"_

"_Alcohol is not going to mix well with the three benzos I took." Felicity laughed and Oliver let the waiter go._

"_Am I being crazy?" Oliver asked Felicity, "I mean what do we have to be nervous about?"_

_Felicity leaned forward, "Well, we've already exhausted what normally people talk about on their first date," She said, "And second date. And third date. And every date." She ranted, "I've even seen you shirtless." She told him to prove a point recalling the time when she was waiting for him at his house and he had just gotten out of shower and-she leaned back and curled her lip inwards, her cheeks red before moving forward, "Multiple times." She uttered, eyeing the napkin like it was the most fascinating thing she had ever seen before stopping, reaching for the glass of water that the waiter had just placed on the table._

"_So?" Oliver asked, interlocking the fingers of his hands together, "Now, that we've established that you love seeing me shirtless, what else should we talk about?"_

_Felicity tilted her head sideways. Was there anything about Oliver Queen that she didn't know? "I don't..know?"_

_Okay, what if they had a really sucky first date?_

_And then, they decide they were better off friends?_

_It would break their friendship._

_The thought itself made her want to cry. _

"_Hey," Oliver whispered and she felt him holding her hand, "Nothing will go wrong, okay?" And Felicity frowned, she said that thought out loud, didn't she?_

_Uhh._

_But for the first time she was grateful. She knew she didn't have the courage to verbalise it on her own._

_Felicity smiled, "Yeah."_

"_Okay, now let's talk about when you first found out you liked me." He flashed her a cocky grin, "Was it when I saved you? Or was it when we hugged?" His eyes widened, "It was when I stayed at your house for a day wasn't it? You realized you found me sexy-"He grinned cockily and Felicity shoved him._

"_You're impossible!"_

_Oliver laughed, "Only for you."_

_Felicity rolled her eyes._

…

"_Here." Oliver turned his head right, "This is the best ice cream place in town." He pivoted his head towards Felicity, "You eat ice cream here once and I swear, you'll come back here again and again." He grinned._

"_ ." Felicity smiled before frowning as she the people, "We're dressed formally. It's going to be awkward." _

_Oliver cocked an eyebrow, "Since when do you care what people think?" He nudged her, "Come on." He bit out and Felicity let out a breathy laugh before getting out of the car._

_The name of the shop was 'Frozen' which was highlighted in blue and white giving the illusion that it was ice. Felicity realized that they were an awful lot of people here but then she figured out that it was ten pm, so of course people would come here for dessert. Oliver held out his hand for her and she took it and the two of them headed inside._

"_Hey Mrs.P," Oliver greeted the elderly woman who was behind the counter. The lady smiled, her brown eyes lighting up. Her hair was in a bun and the warm expression on her face reminded Felicity of Raisa, "Oliver!" She said happily before walking through the small space beside the counter. She walked past the rest of the customers and made her way towards him._

"_Oliver!" She said as she hugged him and Felicity smiled, her hand still in Oliver's. "Is this Felicity?" She looked at the blonde and Felicity was surprised, her eyes shifted to Oliver for a second before Mrs. P hugged her, "I've heard a lot about you, dear." And Oliver blushed._

"_Hopefully good stuff." She let out and laughed._

_The elderly lady winked, "Definitely good stuff."_

…

"_How come you've never taken me to this place before?" Felicity asked Oliver. The two of them were standing in a park that was right behind the ice cream parlour. The park had a bridge, underneath which water from a river-Felicity didn't know the name of- flowed. The two were leaning against the railing of the bridge._

_Oliver finished his ice cream before wiping his hands with a tissue, "I wanted to take you out here on a date, not just randomly. Besides, you don't expect me to tell you all about my secret hideouts, do you?"_

"_So you do have secret hideouts," Felicity started, "I had secret hideouts too. But then mom discovered it-" She pouted involuntarily, "And it all got ruined." _

_Oliver turned around, his back against the railing, "I have a lot of secret hideouts." His eyebrow rose, "Really?" Felicity gave him a lopsided grin, "Will I get to see them?"_

"_Absolutely not."_

_Felicity punched Oliver with her left hand. Before she could take her hand away, Oliver pulled it towards himself, "So," He started, his eyes widening as he looked at Felicity._

"_So?" Felicity tilted her sideways, perfectly aware of what he was thinking, "So, what?" She shrugged her shoulders._

"_For a genius you really are dumb, you know?"_

"_Hey!" Felicity protested, trying to pull her hand away, "You're being mean."_

"_It's true." Oliver answered before pulling her towards himself. He leaned a little bit closer, way too close, "After the first date-" Felicity placed her right hand in front of her mouth, "I have a third date rule." She told him._

"_What?" Oliver frowned, "Really?" _

"_Well," Felicity started, "Not really. But I've definitely not kissed guys on the first date itself. Well, I didn't have that many of first dates though, which, "She frowned, "Sounds bad." She shivered, "But the point is, I definitely don't kiss-"_

_She was stopped by a pair of lips on the top of hers._

_Soft lips. _

_Really soft._

_Oh._

_Oh._

_It took her five seconds to retaliate as Oliver's hand cupped her cheek ever so slowly, his other hand travelling to her back, which was bare thanks to the her backless dress. She shivered as she kissed him back, her eyes closing while her hands held on to the lapels of his jacket which she pulled tighter. His lips were soft and gentle. The two of them wanted to savour this moment. It was unlike other kiss Felicity had ever had. It wasn't hot, it was sweet and passionate._

_And filled with love._

_She had imagined kissing him a hell lot of times and her imagination didn't do him justice. _

_No freaking away._

_Felicity smiled as Oliver pulled away for a second before kissing her one last time. Their foreheads leaned against each other momentarily before she tilted her face upwards, "I like this. The next time I'm on a first date with someone, I'll definitely kiss him."_

_Oliver wrapped his arms around her waist, "The next first date, huh?" He asked her and Felicity nodded, her eyes closed, "Probably with a billionaire." She answered, a mischievous smile on her face as she linked her arms behind his neck, "Who would kiss me all the time and buy me stuff-"_

_Oliver leaned down kissing her lips gently, "Like this?"_

_Felicity made a face, "I don't know." She uttered, "Show me again?" She tilted her head and Oliver laughed._

_And then he kissed her again._

…

"Again?" Oliver groaned, "Felicity, one last time-where do you live?" He asked her, "Please be serious."

"In a house, "Felicity answered nonchalantly before picking up his phone that was lying on the dashboard, "Down the street." Oliver's ears perked up, "On the street!" She ended with a clap of her hands and Oliver groaned.

Although he was grateful about one fact, she wasn't in a sore mood

And now that he thought about it, he wasn't in one either.

Funny, how half an hour ago they were fighting and here they were.

Funny indeed.

Oliver's eyes shifted towards the phone in her hand that happened to be his.

"Phone," He muttered, "Of course!" He slammed his hand against his forehead

How could he be so stupid?

He snatched his phone out of Felicity's hands and Felicity protested, "Hey!"

Oliver sighed before stopping the car near the street yet again. He pressed the speed dial for Digg's number and then pressed the phone against his ear, muttering under his breath.

He really needed him to pick up his phone.

But it rang.

It rang and nothing happened.

He pinched the bridge of his nose before Felicity poked his arm. He turned his head sideways and she offered him her phone that she found in his jacket, "You look stressed." She pointed out and Oliver bit back a smile. His eyes furrowed as he stared at her phone.

Maybe he could call Palmer.

But he definitely didn't want to call Palmer.

Still, he had no option did he?

He took her phone and Felicity took his face. Her eyes brightened as she stared at his wallpaper, his passcode was an easy thing to crack-"Oliver, let's take a selfie!" She said excitedly as she stared at the selfie of Tommy, Laurel and him. "Then you can make it your wallpaper." She told him, "I don't like Laurel on your wallpaper." She told him sincerely and Oliver frowned before shaking his head, "No-"

"You said no on the dance floor too!" She punched his arm, "You always ruin my day!" She mumbled before crossing her arms and turning her face away, "I want a selfie."

Oliver sighed and took a deep breath, "Will that make you happy?"

Felicity turned towards him and nodded her head, "Yes. Yes!"

"Fine." Oliver gave in, "Let's take a selfie."

Felicity smiled before opening the app 'Retrica' on his phone, "Two photos." She told him before flicking on the light inside the car and Oliver turned sideways before speaking, "Two photos."

Felicity leaned her head against Oliver's chest and he was caught off guard, turning his head right only to stare at her. "Photo two!" Felicity cheered as she smiled brightly at the camera and Oliver shook his head before finally focusing on the lens and smiling.

"Wohoo!" Felicity cheered as she eyed the set of the two pictures and then saved it followed by setting it as the wallpaper of his phone. "All done." She smiled.

"Now, can I call?" He asked her and Felicity nodded. She looked at Oliver's phone and chose to play Circle meanwhile.

Oliver huffed before sliding his finger across her screen. "Passcode?" He mumbled and Felicity answered without looking up, "1002."

1002.

10TH Feb.

Oliver shrugged the stray thoughts before entering the digits and frowned when he saw the wallpaper. It was a picture of baby Sara and her, the two of them cuddling together. And despite the fact the fact that it confused him of how they knew of each other, he smiled.

She was grinning at the child her arms wrapped around the little girl who was grinning widely, showing her two missing front teeth.

Is this how she would have been if Conner was alive?

If only.

...

So, Oliver tried calling Diggle and then Palmer. Hell, he even called Gerry wondering if he knew where Felicity lived.

But no one picked up, no one.

To make matters worse, Felicity's phone died.

Oliver had to hastily add the numbers in his phone before it switched off. He had tried calling again a few number of times. He called Ray and at his home to, much to his chagrin but no one picked up.

He also discovered that he had missed calls from Tommy, Laurel and Thea.

He wanted to call them back but didn't.

He simply messaged them that he was safe and will meet them in the morning.

He had much bigger things to worry about.

Now, where was he supposed to take Felicity?

"Cause I give you all of me. And you give me all of you, "Felicity sang with the radio, opening her arms, "I give you all of me. And you give me all of you!" She ended the song, "Oh oh!"

Oliver laughed. The only thing remotely entertaining in the past hour was Felicity. She sang well, Oliver knew that but it was her gestures and her expressions. For the past half an hour she had been singing all the songs that had been playing on the radio and Oliver wasn't surprised. Even during the time when they were together, Felicity had a habit of listening to songs.

He had watched her sing 'Dance till the world ends', followed by 'A-team' and then by 'Never say Never' and then best one yet, 'Eye of the Tiger'.

It was fun.

She changed the station the minute the RJ began to speak and Felicity eye's lightened up as she heard the song, "The vacancy that sat in my heart." She started to sing, "Is a space that now you hold. Show me how to fight for it now," She nudged Oliver, "And I'll tell you baby, it was easy." She moved her head, "Comin' back here to you once I figured it out. You were right here all along!" She looked at Oliver whose gaze was focused on the road. He was biting his lip, trying not to smile.

"Sing!" She commanded and Oliver frowned.

"It's like you are my mirror!" She started, "My mirror staring back at me." She formed a spade with her hand and place it in front of her face, "I couldn't get any bigger."

"With anyone else beside of me." Oliver laughed and Felicity smiled, "And now it's clear as this promise."

"'Cause it's like you're my mirror." The two sang, "My mirror staring back at me, staring back at me."

It was good.

Oliver was having fun.

He was smiling.

So was she.

But it didn't hide away the real situation.

He really needed to take Felicity somewhere.

…

Felicity eyes widened the minute the entered the gate and she looked at Oliver, "Are we home?" Her tone was laced with excitement and Oliver hesitated for a second, before nodding, "Yeah." He mumbled.

He had no other option.

So, he took her to their old house.

He parked the car in the parking lot before getting out. Felicity blinked her eyes repeatedly as she got out, a huge smile on her lips. She pulled the jacket closer to herself as she started to walk behind Oliver.

They were home.

…

Felicity entered the house and she pivoted her head in all directions. She squealed as she saw that the house hadn't changed one bit, "This is our house Oliver!" She told him excitedly while he dropped the keys in the bowl on the table beside the door.

Felicity's feet moved on the hardwood floor as she smiled. The house had brick walls at some ends when went well with the soft shade of cream on the other part of the walls. Two brown couches faced each other forming a 'u', cushions lying on them haphazardly, a table lying between them that had two small pots placed on it. Right in front of the table was a LCD set, right in the middle of two wooden shelves full of books.

It was home.

Oliver smiled wryly before putting his hands in his jean pocket. There was time a when they were pictures of Felicity, Conner and him around the house. Now, it was just Conner and him.

Felicity whipped her head only to find herself gazing at the kitchen and right on cue, her stomach growled, "I'm hungry." She declared and Oliver frowned, "What?"

"I'm hungry." She shrugged, "I want food." She started walking towards the kitchen, "Loads and loads of food."

Oliver pinched the bridge of his nose, just when he thought the situation was getting better.

…

"Just stop alright?" Oliver looked at Felicity who had a huge knife in her hand. She was still wearing his jacket, Oliver didn't know where the apron was, her tongue sticking out as she focused on cutting the piece of chicken, "Why do you want me to stop?" She narrowed her eyes at Oliver, the knife pointed dangerously close to his neck. Oliver took a step back, his eyes widening, "Because you are tired."

He couldn't say that she was drunk-drugged.

He kept forgetting that fact.

"So you would cook?" Felicity crossed her arms, the knife held in one hand, "But you don't know how to cook."

"I know how to cook."

"No, you don't, "Felicity started before she made a face, "Bleh." She muttered with disgust, her tongue coming out, "You make bad food."

"I-" Oliver leaned over before snatching the knife, "don't." He muttered.

"You do." Felicity nodded her head and Oliver walked past her to fetch some water for the rice, "I have gotten better, okay?" Oliver defended himself, "And look who is talking it's because of me you learned how to cook in the first place."

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

Oliver turned around, holding the utensil with water in it. He grinned at Felicity, "Now, I'll teach you how to cook."

Just then his hip collided with the slab causing the water to spill on him.

Felicity laughed loudly.

…

**March 2009**

_Felicity smiled to herself as she stood beside Thea, her hands interlocked. She was eagerly waiting for Oliver to come. They were at Verdant and Oliver and Tommy had been super busy with everything. _

_So, Felicity decided to cook for him, for them. _

_Oliver recently had told her that he loved Italian, red sauce pasta to be pretty specific, so Felicity decided to cook something for him. They had been dating for a month and she felt like both Tommy and he had been working really hard and they deserved a break._

_Although it was tough. She had googled all kinds of recipes and had made tons of mistakes. From boiling the pasta wrong to actually adding too much of chilly, she had made every sort of mistake._

_But in the end she made it the right away._

_She hoped she did._

_Laurel made her way past them and Felicity looked at her, not knowing what to say. _

_It had been very awkward._

_But Laurel did flash her a ghost of a smile as she walked by. Sara who was behind her grinned at Felicity before making her way towards her, "What are you guys waiting for?"_

"_Oliver and Tommy," She muttered back to Sara. Now to be honest, she didn't know Sara that well. Come to think of it, she didn't even know Laurel that well. But Sara and she were acquaintances. They were neighbours who smiled at one another, she was Oliver's friend. Now, she wasn't as close to her as she was with Tommy and Thea but she didn't mind her company._

_Sara was nice girl, yeah. _

"_Why?" Sara asked placing her hands on her hips, "She cooked for them. Well, Oliver to be pretty specific." Thea supplied, her gaze wandering towards the liquor that laid on the bar top. Felicity placed her left hand on her cheek and turned her gaze away, "Hey!"_

"_You're too young!"_

"_It's not like I'm drinking!"_

_Felicity was about to reply when Oliver made his presence known._

"_Hey," He walked towards Felicity before leaning down for a kiss, "Hey." Her eyes closed as he leaned in, a bright smile on her lips._

_She could never get tired of Oliver kissing her._

_Never._

"_Uh," Thea poked Oliver's arm, "Little sister right here?" She raised her hands and Oliver flicked her forehead, "You too Speedy." Before Sara could protest, he said hi to her too._

"_Where's Tommy?"_

"_Still in the back talking to the bartenders," Oliver told Felicity, "Laurel went to meet him."_

_Oliver's gaze flickered towards the chair right in front of the bar. It was a box and his eyes squinted before he reached for it, picking it up. _

_Opening the box, his eyes widened,_ _"Is this pasta?" He picked up the fork, "I wanted to have Italian today. Who brought this?" Before anyone could answer him, he put the fork on his mouth. He cringed at first before taking another bite of the food, almost as if testing it._

_Felicity exchanged a look with Thea while biting her lip._

_And then Oliver placed his arm on the bar top and pulled out a tissue._

_And then, he threw up in it._

_Felicity gaped._

"_Who the hell brought this?" He asked, his face coiling to show disgust, "Yuck. This is so bad." He murmured before reaching for another tissue and wiping his mouth with it. He looked at Thea, his left hand clutching the box, "Did you bring this from the place down town? You know I don't-" Thea was shaking her violently, her eyes big._

"_What?"_

_Just then Felicity stomped her right foot before turning around and walking away._

"_What?" Oliver looked at Thea and Sara. The latter shook her head, "You're an idiot, Ollie. She cooked it."_

"_What?" _

"_She cooked it for you and you basically told her it was crap. Way to go big brother," Thea crossed her arms._

"_Shit." Oliver muttered, "I'm in big trouble, aren't I?" Sara nodded, "Big one."_

…

_Felicity huffed to herself as she crossed her arms across her chest. Tears threatened to make their presence known but Felicity refused to cry._

_Who did he think he was?_

_She had worked for days over it. Well, you could say she was stupid enough to not taste it but still, she had tasted the previous attempts and they turned out okay, so she expected this one to be good too. Especially because it smelled really good._

_She'd wondered what went wrong._

_Maybe Oliver lacked taste buds._

_She huffed._

"_So," She heard Oliver say and she turned around, narrowing her eyes, "Go away." _

_Oliver smiled sheepishly, still holding the lunch box, "So, you cooked, huh?"_

_Felicity scowled, "Yes I did. And you are an ungrateful fool." She stated, "How can you be so mean? I worked hours on it!" She raised her hands in the air, "For days, Oliver! And you say it sucks which it did, okay! You could have been a bit more polite?"_

_Oliver laughed, "Polite? Felicity eating that was potential suicide." Felicity gasped, taking a step forward, her hands flaying in the air, "Oliver! You're so mean-"_

_Oliver took this as an opportunity and stabbed the pasta on the fork before putting it in her mouth. Felicity's eyes widened as she tasted it before turning around and throwing it out of her mouth, "See?" Oliver retorted._

"_Yuck!" Felicity wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, "That's gross. This is even worse than my mom's food." She could still could feel the taste of it lingering in her mouth. The salt was too much, the oregano was almost as if it wasn't there and she was pretty sure that the pasta was undercooked. _

"_And you wanted me to eat it," Oliver declared and Felicity pouted, "I worked really hard, you know?"_

"_And I love it," Oliver placed his free hand on his cheek before pressing his thumb near her eye, wiping away the moisture, "I love the effort, thank you for it." He paused and Felicity looked at him. She knew him well enough to know that he was biting back a retort, "Just the next time stick to computers rather than the kitchen."_

_Felicity gasped before shoving him lightly. She tried to be angry at him and Oliver laughed, "What? It's true!" He exclaimed and Felicity wanted to say something back but instead she just laughed, "You're an asshole." _

"_Your asshole."_

"_Really?" Felicity raised her eyebrows. On the outside she may laugh at this but on the inside her heart melted into a pile of goo. _

_Oliver shot her a smile, "Yup. But the next time, you want me alive, just lay off the cooking why don't you?" Felicity laughed while whacking his arm. Oliver made a face before picking up the fork, the pasta stuck on it, "Here."_

"_What?" Felicity asked, bewildered, "I am not eating it."_

"_I ate two bites," Oliver shoved the fork, "You would eat two too." He huffed, "You screamed at me."_

"_You were being a mean!"_

"_You almost got me killed." Oliver pointed out and Felicity's bottom lip jutted out, "No." _

_Oliver raised an eyebrow and Felicity cringed before opening her mouth. Oliver smiled and made her eat the pasta. Felicity made a face before munching on it, "I really shouldn't cook."_

"_You think?" Oliver asked rhetorically, "I'm pretty sure even if I throw them on the street, even the dogs won't eat it."_

_Felicity stomped her right foot, "Enough." She declared with a huff, "Why don't you go and dump it on the street then, just to see?" She glared at him before walking away, "First, I cook for him and then he insults me." She muttered as she walked away from him._

_Oliver groaned. He was just joking, "Felicity!" He called out, "I'm sorry!" He continued and Felicity turned around to glare at him one last time._

_Oliver laughed. Felicity was feisty and he loved that about her. But a small part of his brain supplied that he would also need to convince her. He made a mental note of getting her gift today._

_He sighed as he brought the box close before sniffing it. The pasta did smell delicious though. Whatever he might utter, he did appreciate the fact that Felicity cooked for him. She cared that much and he might just be messing with her, but he really loved the effort._

_Just not the food so much._

_Yeah, definitely not the food._

…

Felicity eyed the food before she licked her lips. Taking a bite of the chicken and rice that _Oliver _had cooked, she almost moaned while tasting it. She looked at him, "This is super yummy." She commented and Oliver grinned, "I told you that I've gotten better." Wiping his hands with a towel, he made his way towards Felicity before sitting right in front of her on the couch.

Oliver placed one leg on the couch in 'L' shape, his other leg touching the ground, "You like it?"

"Yeah," Felicity hummed happily. She looked at Oliver before moving her arm that was holding the spoon filled with rice towards him, "Here." She mumbled.

Oliver blinked, "What?"

Felicity talked to him in a way that strangely reminded him of a child, "You must be hungry too. You didn't eat anything too." Oliver stared at her for a second and then slowly he smiled, "I'm not hungry. You eat."

"No." Felicity was adamant, "If you won't eat, I won't eat." Oliver sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose. To be very honest, he was hungry but Felicity as his priority at the moment. He didn't really think about it that much while cooking because he wanted Felicity in bed as soon as possible. He'll probably look for something after she goes off to sleep, "Felicity-"

"No!" Felicity shoved the spoon in his direction and Oliver sighed before taking a bite, "There. Happy?" He asked her and Felicity closed her eyes before nodding her head, "Happy." She paused, "Now go get one more spoon." She told him, "We'll eat together."

Wait, what?

"Felicity-"

"Go and get your spoon now." Felicity declared, "We'll eat together. If you won't eat-" Oliver raised his hands in surrender before getting up and going to the kitchen. He picked out a spoon and shot her a sarcastic grin, "There. Happy?"

"Very." Felicity clapped her hands, "It'll be like old times. You and I eating from the same plate."

Oliver frowned before he smiled sadly, "Yeah. Like .."His voice turned soft, "Like old times."

He sat right in front of her and Felicity looked at him, "Just don't eat that fast or I'll-"

"Starve, I know." He mumbled before moving his spoon on the plate. Scooping some rice in the spoon, he ate it. Now that he thought about it, he really was hungry, "Good boy." Felicity patted his head and Oliver rolled his eyes.

"It would be better if you had that red wine. You never gave those two glasses you promised!"

"No, I didn't."

"You did! You broke a promise. A promise breaker is a shoemaker, you know?"

"I didn't promise anything."

"You are a liar."

"I'm not."

"Liar and shoemaker."

"Felicity."

…

Oliver rubbed his eyes as the fatigue kicked in. It was already four thirty am and he just wanted to doze off. He turned his head towards Felicity who still wasn't tired and was babbling off stuff.

Oliver bit back a groan before getting off the couch. "Get up," He told Felicity and the female in question blinked before getting up. Her feet were bare, she had long ago discarded off her sneakers and she had also taken off his jacket, "Let's get you to bed."

Felicity gasped, "No!" She crossed her arms, "I don't want to sleep. I want to stay right here." She pointed towards the couch, "We'll sit right here and talk."

"Felicity." Oliver closed his eyes, "_Please."_

Felicity frowned, her mouth turning upside down before she sighed, her shoulders sagging, "Then you'll promise you'll stay with me?"

"Felicity, I can't-"

"Please?" She repeated the same word that Oliver spoke, but unlike him it lack exasperation and was filled with expectation.

Expectation.

He never realized how they had stopped looking at each other with expectation.

A pang hit his heart and the realization that the two of them were too far gone.

But still, he murmured, "Yes," He made a mental note to escape the bedroom whenever she falls asleep, "Now, can we go?"

Felicity nodded, "Yes."

…

Felicity tried to catch a peek of the closet Oliver had entered from behind his shoulder but he was so tall that they weren't able too.

"You're too tall, move away." Oliver didn't reply her for the next two seconds before turning around, "I thought I told you to stay in the living room."

"I was curious." Felicity told him simply.

"Curiosity killed the cat, you know?"

"A cat has nine lives, you know?" Felicity countered, "I wanna see!" Oliver raised his hand, his mouth partng open almost as if to say something but then he just let out a breath before stepping away.

Felicity blinked as she tried to take in her surroundings. The walls of the room closet were filled with photographs. It was photographs of _them, _Oliver, Conner and she .A couple of them were placed on the shelves too and slowly Felicity's lips curled up. The top shelf had the photographs, some with frame, and some without. The shelf below it were full of gifts that they had placed in their house. It consisted of a beautiful snow globe, a music box, a set of cufflinks that she had gotten them on his birthday and so many things. The shelves below it were filled with clothes. Conner's and hers.

Felicity's head tilted sideways as she turned around. Walking forward, she didn't really think before she kept her hand on his cheek, "You still have them." She murmured and Oliver's face softened, "I-"

Felicity smiled ruefully, "You still have them." She repeated, "You still care." She whispered, "What happened to us, Oliver?" She rubbed her thumb across his cheek and Oliver closed his eyes as if savouring the moment.

"I don't know," Oliver laughed dryly and a second later, he placed his hand on Felicity's removing it ever so slightly, their hands still joined before letting it go, "I don't know." He wanted to say things, he wanted to clear things but he knew it wasn't the right time and she wasn't in the right mind.

He didn't think she would care.

But then, why did his heart tell him something different? When she left, his heart and mind agreed and he hated her. His heart was broken and he hated her. But now, his mind said that she wasn't good but his heart told him something else.

When did that happen?

Why was that happening?

A small part of his brain told him that he was still in love with her but he shrugged it off. He wasn't. He couldn't be.

"We were a good family. Not perfect, "Felicity laughed and Oliver bit his lip, "But we were great. You, me and Conner-" She stopped.

"Conner." She repeated and this time, tears filled her eyes. She tolted her head and Oliver felt his heart breaking as he saw her expression, "Conner." She mumbled his name and Oliver moved his hands, trying to hold her but she took a step back. She closed her eyes causing a tear to escape from her left away, "He is gone." She mumbled, "We can't be a family anymore. My baby is dead." She almost gasped, "Our baby is dead." In a second, she ran past him and Oliver turned around only to see her retreating figure, "Felicity!"

Hastily, he grabbed the first pyjama he spotted. This was the main reason why he came here. He just wanted to get her some clothes but it seemed like the situation had turned out to be different.

Quite different.

…

Oliver's first stop was their bedroom. _Old _bedroom, he corrected himself and frowned when he didn't find her there.

He sighed to himself as a location where she could be did come in his mind and he almost cursed himself for not looking there before. He walked towards the said room, making sure that he doesn't make any sound that would make Felicity know of his presence.

He moved the door ever so slightly, hoping that it won't creek as he peeked in.

She sat on the floor, her knees pulled up to her chest as she gazed straight away. It was similar to her position back in the closet of the Queen Mansion but there the situation was different and here it was completely opposite.

Oliver looked at her one more time before taking a deep breath. His own heart was breaking on the inside. She looked so _lost. _It made him reminisce their old times. She used to sit in his nursery then too and now also, things haven't changed.

Oliver finally gathered the courage to talk to her. He pressed his hand against his face before making his away inside, "Hey." Felicity stiffened at the sound of his voice before she lifted her head and looked at him. She scooted closer to the wall if possible. "Hey."

He leaned his back against the wall, crouching down right beside her. "Somethings never change, huh?" He murmured to her, his hands dropping the pyjama that he had gotten on the floor.

Felicity sniffed before speaking "This was his nursery." She stage whispered, "Do you remember whenever we used to come here, he used to crib a lot, because-"

"Because the walls didn't have cartoons." He grinned ever so slowly, "Yeah." Conner was really observant. But Oliver guessed all babies were. The walls of this nursery were beige. A crib was right in the other corner, a small toy hanging above it for Conner to play with. Oliver remembered the time this room used to be full of toys, "And when we went back home, he used to cry when Thea held because he used to," Oliver laughed a little as Felicity spoke, his eyes moistening, "Forget who she was. How can a baby forget someone so easily?"

"Well, it is possible." Felicity sniffed, "Mom told me I used to cry when she used to get back from work because I didn't remember who she was."

"So, he was just like his mother then," Oliver nudged her shoulder with his own and the word 'was' wasn't lost to him. "He used to wake us up," Felicity murmured, "Remember?" She looked at him and Oliver nodded. If Felicity was happy recalling his memories then they would do so.

"Thea or Tommy or anyone used to enter our room and place him on the bed and he would tap our cheeks with his tiny hands," Felicity's voice trailed off and her fingers twitched, her thumb rubbing slow circles on the first two fingers of her hand. "And he would make these noises-"

Oliver sighed before turning his face away from Felicity, his eyes filling with tears, "Yeah." Felicity noticed this and spoke, ever so softly, "I'm sorry."

Oliver pivoted his head towards her, "For what?"

"For not letting you grieve." Felicity whispered, her gaze flickering towards her lap, "You lost him too, Oliver. And I was selfish enough to only think about myself and I know I've apologized before but it doesn't make it-" She was cut short as Oliver lifted her face, their eyes meeting, "There is no need for this, okay. I wanted to be there for you."

"But I wasn't there for you." Felicity whispered, "You were there." Oliver answered, "Always there." Felicity let out a soft whimper before placing her head on his shoulder, her hand curling around his bicep and Oliver stiffened, "Why do you think God took Conner away?"

Oliver gazed at the wooden floor, the uneasiness going away, his shoulders relaxed as he answered her in a soft voice, "Sometimes, God needs angels. He loves them too much to give them away and so," He moved his head towards her, his lips close to her blonde hair, "He takes them back."

"So, our Conner was an angel?"

"Yes."

"But he was supposed to be _our _angel."

Felicity's hand tightened on his bicep and Oliver suddenly felt wetness on his cheek. He immediately wiped it with his left hand before sniffing lightly, "He is. Who says he isn't?"

"I tried seeing him, you know." Felicity started, "But then I couldn't. No one would let me," She closed her eyes.

"See him?" Oliver's heart filled with dread, "What do you mean see him?" Did she try to do something? A sudden pang full of fear hit him, his breath seizing for a split second as he found himself reaching for the hand that was curled around his bicep, "What do you mean you tried seeing him?" Did she try to commit suicide?

"I just missed him," Felicity murmured, "I missed you." She said before Oliver could say anything further, "I love you." She ended with a soft sigh and Oliver closed his eyes, leaning his head against the wall.

_I miss you._

_I love you._

_I tried seeing him, you know._

They say drunk words are sober thoughts but somehow, his heart couldn't grip the reality and accept it. It was still rattling with the fear of losing her and then trying to accept her last sentences.

It couldn't be true.

His heart wasn't ready to accept it.

Still within the silence in the room, a soft response of his did come out, ever so slowly, "I missed you too."

But Felicity was already asleep, her breath even as she dozed away. A soft smile was on her face and Oliver reckoned that she was having a good dream.

Because reality was painful.

It was harsh and bitter.

Unlike dreams.

Which are happy and positive.

_And unreal._

…

Oliver covered Felicity with a blanket. He had carried her all the way from the nursery before placing her in their bedroom. She was still wearing her jeans and Oliver knew she would crib in the morning but he had no other alternative.

Leaning down, he took off her glasses ever so slowly before placing them on the side table. He allowed himself to gaze at her face for a second. The look on her face was soft and solemn as if she was away from the harsh realities of the world. Although, the tear tracks on her face told him another story. He sighed before brushing his hand on her cheek ever so slowly. Wiping away the stray moisture, he leaned down, his lips dangerously close to her forehead as he recalled her previous words.

Could it be true?

But then Felicity moved and Oliver snapped away. He moved back in an instant before turning around. Flicking off the light on the way, he turned around one last time casting her a long look.

_I tried seeing him, you know._

_I miss you._

_I love you._

He walked out of the room. He was read to head towards the guest bedroom when his eyes caught the sight of the closet door that he must have forgotten to close in haste. Oliver's foot padded against the ground as he walked towards it. He was almost about to close the door but then he changed his mind and instead stepped inside it.

He made his way towards the shelves before reaching for the photographs, a particular one. He remembered a time when this photograph used to be his favourite. It was a picture of Felicity and Conner that he had snapped minutes after his birth. It was the first time they had handed him over to them and Felicity was all smiles.

_Was._

Then, he had everything.

Now, he had nothing.

He didn't have Conner.

He didn't have Felicity.

Now, all he had was memories.

Just memories.

Painful memories.

**That is it. **

**I know it might have some errors. But like I said it is not betaed so sorry.**

**Pleasse review or PM me your thoughts. **

**Thank you all so much for the support :* You guys make us write.**

**Thank you.**

**Luvya x**

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**Next Update : 15****th**** May **

**Sorry, I have exams.**

**Signing off, **

**Srishti x**


	14. Chapter Thirteen : Fools of Nature

**Hey guys. So, many people are expecting this chapter.**

**I probably should thank everyone of you because we have reached 432 reviews!**

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**Ignore the mistakes. Haven't even proofread it even once. I need to sleep. I have to wake up in potentially four hours.**

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**Word Count : 9567**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything that seems familiar.**

"**Being in denial never resolved any problem**

**For anyone,**

**Anywhere." – Muhammad Haider**

**Chapter Thirteen : Fools of Nature**

A soft hum ricocheted across the large bedroom as Felicity turned, her face landing on the plush pillow. Closing her eyes tightly, she opened her mouth, trying to get rid of her blonde hair that had landed in her mouth. She almost opened her right eye but then the light in the room felt too much and she closed it.

She lifted her face, her eyes still closed tightly and suddenly her head hurt. A sharp pain hit her head and she slammed it against the pillow, "Oh god."

Mumbling to herself, she turned around, her back towards the bed, her legs all over it. Groaning to herself, she pressed her right hand on her head, massaging it as she finally opened her eyes, "Frack." She mumbled while massaging her head before her vision cleared and she blinked repeatedly, trying to analyse where she was.

A gasp escaped her lips as she lifted herself up with the help of her elbows. She moved her head around and although her head was being hammered on the inside, nothing beat this. She pivoted her head towards the right, looking for her glasses.

Wearing them, she blinked before she looked at the room.

"What the-"

Nothing had changed really.

There was a plasma TV right in front of the bed. The ensuite bathroom right beside it. Towards the right, they were two closets that were once filled with their clothes. The aura of the room once felt homely. That was one of the reasons why she had chosen light shades of colour brown for this house. It was home and it needed to be felt like one.

It was their home.

But now it wasn't.

It was a house.

Just a house.

Felicity closed her eyes tightly as her head landed on the white mattress with a thump.

What in the world was she doing here?

…

"Oliver." Felicity uttered the minute she entered the living room, finding the guy in question standing in the kitchen. In normal situations, she would have shouted. God, she would have used her loud voice and God, did she want to but her head felt like it was being hammered by a carpenter and the loud voice didn't help much.

"Felicity." That was the way Oliver greeted her, a small smile on his lips and Felicity almost felt like déjà vu. It was like old times. She waking up to find him cooking-trying to cook, only this time it was different.

Way different.

"What the fuck am I doing here?" Felicity didn't swear...much. At least not the word 'fuck'. She did have a few words reserved though. Like frack or asshole. Oliver usually happened to be at the receiving end of it just like now. She must be really angry.

Oliver blinked before rolling his eyes. He expected this sort of reaction, "You got drunk last night." He told her before turning around and pulling out a mug for her from the cupboard.

"I got what?"

Oliver turned to face her again. His eyes looked clouded and Felicity was sure that something was running through his brain. She crossed her arms, her head tilted towards right, "I got what?" She bit out again when she got no reaction from him.

Oliver sighed. Of course, she didn't remember. How could she? She was totally whacked out of her mind, he was stupid enough to think that she would actually remember.

_He's my husband._

_I never was with Ray._

_I tried seeing him, you know?_

_I love you._

_I missed you._

"Drunk." Oliver started, "Drugged." He corrected, "The drink that you had at my house." He paused, his voice trailing off. He didn't know how to tell her, "It was spiked." Felicity's eyes widened behind her glasses, "Spiked?" Her voice rose and she cringed for a second, "You spiked my drink! How low can you stoop?"

Oliver eyebrows rose, "I didn't spike it!" He defended himself and Felicity scoffed, "Yeah right. Like I am supposed to believe that." She rolled her eyes, a gesture which hurt a lot and she mentally made a note to not do it in the future, "As if the leftover thing wasn't enough. Now, you want to flaunt it, right? That you have moved on and I'm still stuck in the past." She was angry but she did mean the last statement.

Because the truth was, she was.

She was still stuck in the past. Despite the moving on, despite the sessions, despite getting a dose of reality a part of her was still stuck in here. She was making progress, doesn't mean she had gotten over it. It still hurt and she didn't know whether she would ever get over it or not and he had. Of course, they had loved their son. Of course, they felt melancholy and grief over it but Oliver somehow had _gotten used to _the pain while Felicity was still going through the initial stages. He had a girlfriend, a support system from his family and Felicity did too but it didn't make up for a lost son and a lost husband. He left her, he was _okay _(it hurt to think how casual it was for him) but she wasn't really over it. And the realization was painful.

It hurt more than she thought it would.

"Do you seriously think that low of me?" Oliver gritted out through his clenched teeth, "Don't you know me at all?"

"That's the thing Oliver," Felicity turned her face away, "I never knew you at all."

And she didn't. Because the Oliver she fell in love with was different. She had never anticipated in her entire life that he would be leaving her and giving up on their relationship. She would admit it, that she wasn't perfect and she had made mistakes too but didn't everyone? He let go. He didn't stand by her. He walked out on her. She remembered believing that she didn't deserve him or Conner and it was her fault. She had gotten over that. But sometimes she believed that she hadn't accepted that it wasn't her fault but had gotten used to the guilt. Maybe she had. Maybe she hadn't. But she didn't deserve Oliver leaving her.

She didn't.

Oliver flinched visibly as the statement escaped her lips. His eyebrows furrowed as he searched for words to say. How could Felicity think of him this way? That wasn't the only question that was going through his mind though.

_Why did he care about her opinion?_

"I didn't do it." Oliver told her and Felicity turned to face him. Oliver's face softened, "It was a mistake. That bottle belonged to a customer at the club who had it spiked. I didn't know it. I didn't do it. _Trust me."_

His blue eyes were shining with sincerity and Felicity bit her lip. "I do." And she did. She might have been angry and might have uttered a couple of words (she did mean the last line though…sort of) but despite everything she trusted him.

Knowing their history, she didn't know_ why. _He was always there for her when they were together and she never doubted that. But then things happened and her perceptions changed.

_Or maybe they hadn't._

Maybe she was still in denial.

But he was speaking the truth.

He was.

"How come we landed up here?" She mumbled, her voice turning soft and Oliver bit his lip before shoving the mug that was filled with black coffee, "I don-"

"You have headache right now." Oliver cut her off. Maybe a small part of him was grateful for that or she would have screaming at him by now. But still..she did manage to hurt him, didn't she? "Drink this and then also, if the headache doesn't go away in half an hour, you know where the aspirin is."

Felicity looked at him before taking the mug, "How did we end up here?" Oliver then shoved a plate in her direction that had two butter toasts on it.

"You weren't revealing where your house is."

"Really?" Felicity's eyebrows rose up, "Yup." Oliver declared before sighing, "Every time the response was that I live in a house, on a street." Oliver grinned lightly.

"You shouldn't have."

"I know." He paused, "But I had no other option."

"You should-"Oliver could see her expression, her gaze lingering at the floor and he spoke before he could think. He needed to distract her, "You did a say a lot of things last night though."

This grabbed her attention and Oliver smiled a little. Felicity frowned as if trying to recall last night but it was all blank. "Like what?"

_You said you loved me._

_That you missed me._

_That you almost tried committing suicide. _

_That you never were with Ray._

Last night, Oliver thought a lot. He didn't fall asleep right after Felicity fell asleep. Instead, his mind ran a thousand miles playing the past events in his mind. He honestly could have called Laurel, Tommy or anyone but he chose not to.

Did she try to commit suicide?

His heart had rattled with fear at the thought of it. He had lost his son, his dad-had Felicity really reached that stage?

He had made a mental note to look into it further and had tried not to think about it. The thought itself gave him chills.

Despite everything, he wasn't ready to lose her.

He had in one sense, but still he wasn't.

He wasn't.

He was sure he would lose himself then.

He also found himself thinking about her I love you. He won't admit it to himself but he would have said it back had he not given it a thought.

He did think about her I love you.

He had missed her despite everything.

Last night's admission did make him realize that.

The old her.

Their memories.

But did he love her?

His heart had started saying something different after a long while.

But he refused to accept it.

She couldn't love him.

Otherwise she wouldn't have cheated.

Which brought him to the 'I never was with Ray' part.

That was wrong.

Nope.

Never.

"You hugged a guy thinking it was Dumbledore." Oliver told her and Felicity's mouth parted open, "No way!"

"Uhuh." Oliver nodded, "You kept saying you're alive and you also, wanted to call Sam and Dean..?" He fumbled with the words and Felicity blinked, "I need to stop watching TV."

Oliver chuckled as she walked towards the couch, "So, this is like your place?" She sat on the couch, a sense of longing in her tone, "Like you come here often? With Laurel?" She didn't know why she uttered the last part, "And the others?"

"Laurel has never been here." Oliver declared, "The others have but they don't stay." Felicity looked at him with a questioning gaze and knew she wanted to know why but he didn't answer.

Felicity didn't say anything either.

"I slept in jeans." Felicity groaned as she sat on the couch, Indian style, "Now my insides are all sweaty."

Oliver crossed his arms as he leaned against the slab, his right brow risen as he grinned recalling her statement. He was about to open his mouth but Felicity looked up the last second.

"Don't. Just don't."

Oliver let out a breathy laugh.

….

Felicity gripped the edge of the door as she peaked in the nursery that once belonged to her son. Her eyes had moistened but she wasn't bawling which was a good sign considering her recent track record with crying.

"He shouldn't have brought me here." Felicity mumbled to herself as she entered the room. To be very honest, she wanted to see the nursery and maybe even think about Conner. The pain was there because honestly, she believed it would never fade away. She did feel like crying but she didn't. It wasn't Conner's memories that were hurting her at this point, it was theirs.

Oliver's.

Which is why, she didn't really want to stay in this house.

She might be at peace (almost) with Conner but she wasn't at peace with Oliver.

"I knew that you would come here," Oliver murmured and Felicity turned around. She looked at him for a second before her gaze flickered back to the room. Since the time, she had come back to Starling, everything that was related to her late son reminded her of him. And each time, she found herself getting hit with this realization that he was gone and she comes one step closer to embracing reality.

Back in Central City, she usually ignored the feeling. The emptiness. She usually embraced it when his birthday or any other important day would be approaching but in Starling, each day she found herself face to face with it. And she was conquering it.

But what about Oliver and she?

"You know, Felicity," Oliver started and she turned her head towards him, "You told me you were stuck in the past. The truth is, we all are." He murmured softly, "We still haven't let go of it."

But how could they have? The question lingered on their lips. For moving on you need support, they needed each other but life had something else in store for them.

She would have asked, but she was hurt and she was a tad bit angry too.

"The next time you bring me here without my permission, I would feed all of your wealth to the dolphins." Felicity stated firmly before walking past him and Oliver sighed while moving his sideways. His peripheral vision caught her retreating figure and he felt a pang in his chest on seeing her cold behaviour.

He sighed to himself before making an about turn and following her.

….

Felicity leaned against the elevator wall and Oliver looked at her, millions of question in his head but he shook his head before fixating his gaze at the door waiting for it to open any moment.

It was weird. Almost a month back, when the two of them had their first encounter in the elevator itself at QC, Oliver remembered glaring at her and even she rolled her eyes at him. But now, they weren't even seeing each other, but something had vanished.

Of course, they didn't like the other person. They still _hated _each other but something had changed.

Oliver wasn't sure what though.

The elevator dinged and the second it opened, Oliver's eyes widened and Felicity cringed as the flashes of the camera hit her. It didn't help the fact that her headache had just gotten away and now, the flashes were hitting her eyes. She brought a hand in front of her face before closing her eyes as the throbbing in her head returned and Oliver in a second had pressed the button to close the lift.

"Media?" Oliver muttered, "Who the hell informed them?" Felicity closed her eyes as she leaned her head against the wall, "Press, really?" She said under her breath, "They are like dogs."

The two reached back to their floor and Oliver stepped out of the lift. Felicity raised her eyebrows and Oliver moved his head forward, "It's the house or the media."

Felicity huffed before narrowing her eyes at him. She forced a sarcastic grin, "Fine."

…

**April 2009**

"_You remember how I told you that I was fine with the reporters following us across the town?" Felicity looked up at Oliver who hummed in reply._

"_I think I was lying." She bit her lip, her gaze flickering towards the tree that she was pretty sure was a hiding spot for one of the paps, "I always think that they are people following us."_

"_Because they are." Oliver said nonchalantly and Felicity gaped at him before shoving his arm, "How can you be this calm?"_

_Oliver rubbed his arm, "Why do you always hit me?" Felicity glared at him and Oliver sighed, "Fine. I keep forgetting that you are new to this. I-I've grown up with these things happening to me so I'm used to it. I don't like it, but I can't help it."_

"_You should at least try," Felicity crossed her arms across her chest as the two of them stopped. They were in park. It was a beautiful night with the moonlight falling on all the trees. Felicity could see the dew drops on the leaves that were on the verge of falling. It was about to rain and that is what made Felicity drag Oliver here. She loved the smell of wet mud and the rain was something that she always had found beautiful. So, here she was with Oliver. _

_But some sneaky people were ruining their fun. _

"_Your life isn't a reality television show, Oliver." She stated firmly and Oliver bit his lip before nodding, "You're right. I'll talk to dad about it."_

_He had always loved the limelight, the spotlight. But now, he preferred the cosy and sweet moments he had with Felicity and he wanted it to be private unlike the way his past self would have wanted._

_Things really had changed._

"_Good." Felicity smiled before hooking her arm with Oliver's, "Or maybe I should talk to them. Your dad loves me anyway."_

"_You're so cocky."_

"_What? It's the truth." Felicity grinned, "Hell his mother likes me. You're just jealous because they love me more."_

"_I'm not."_

"_You are." Oliver's face was hovering near her, a smile full of amusement on his lips and Felicity grinned back. He leaned forward trying to steal a kiss when the camera flashed causing Felicity and Oliver to pull away with a groan. _

_Oliver turned towards the man who had his camera clenched in his hand. He began to strive forward but the man started backing away before gaining speed and running away. He seemed scared._

_Felicity pulled his hand back and Oliver's gaze was still fixed in the direction in which the guy had ran away, "Hey." Felicity tilted his face towards herself, "Don't fight them on your own."_

"_Why?" Oliver frowned, "I should teach them a lesson-"_

"_You'll talk to your dad." Felicity told him and Oliver huffed. The latter pulled his arm and his eyebrows rose, "What are you doing?"_

_Her gaze flickered around to the people in the park before fixating itself on Oliver. She pulled his arm and he followed her reluctantly, the two of them going towards the area under a tree that was in one corner. It was pretty dark and remote and in normal situations, Felicity would have felt a bit scared._

_But she wasn't._

_She pulled Oliver towards himself and his eyes widened, "What are you doing?"_

"_Spending some private time with my boyfriend." Felicity shrugged as she wrapped her arms around his neck and bringing her lips dangerously close to his. Oliver felt warm breath on his lips and he almost groaned as Felicity pulled away, "What?"_

"_Nothing." Felicity just wiggled her eyebrows suggestively and Oliver groaned before he pulled her arms that were around him and slammed her against the tree, not too harshly though._

_His mouth covered hers and Felicity almost moaned, her hands travelling underneath his t-shirt, his muscles clenching as she did so. Her other hand pressed his shoulder tightly as she bit his lip before she soothed the pain with her tongue and Oliver groaned, his mouth travelling towards the neck and Felicity tilted it sideways, her hands clenching. His one hand rested against the tree which he slowly shifted towards the back of her head while the other was on her waist and gradually, his hold loosened causing Felicity to frown. "What?" She asked, her lips slightly swollen._

"_Don't start something you wouldn't finish." _

_Felicity blinked before realizing where her hand was and she blushed before pulling away. "Sorry. I didn't do it on purpose. I mean, I want it but not here. Park is definitely not the place for it. It's wet and soft but still not good. I mean wet and soft it is good-not like that! Definitely not like that," Felicity uttered, "I just imagined this in my bedroom or yours-just in a," Felicity bit her lip, "Bedroom."_

_Felicity felt like maybe she shouldn't talk. _

_Maybe Oliver wasn't ready and she was just making him nervous-_

_Oliver kissed her again._

_Okay, so maybe he was ready._

_Not for that!_

_Not in the park._

_In a house._

_Definitely in a house._

…

The two entered the house and Oliver immediately reached for the phone that was attached to his wall and called the guard telling him to make sure no one comes up and to get everyone out. Then he went to pick up his mobile that was being charged at the other end. He had just wanted to drop Felicity off and according to her, her house was only a few miles away so he had decided that he would come back in here and probably rest. He also had switched off his phone after sending a message to Thea and Laurel that he was safe and at his old house. He knew they were minimal chances of Thea visiting due to it being Valentine's Day and all and Laurel had never visited this place before. She knew where it was and how much it meant to him. He had never asked her to come here and she never questioned him either.

Today was Valentine's Day and he vividly remembered the promises he had made to his mother and Laurel but he needed some time alone. To rest and to think about last night. He would probably call John later on because he needed his insight. But right now, he needed a break. His phone had been switched off and he knew it was pretty careless but he needed a break and a good sleep.

At night the landline of his house did ring once but he was too lazy to get up and he was pretty sure that it was either Thea or Laurel.

The sound of the television snapped him out of his reverie and Felicity was sitting on the couch, his tablet in her hand. "That's my tablet." He didn't see her fetching it from his room.

Felicity glared at him but didn't reply back. Oliver sighed before going to his bedroom and getting her an aspirin. Returning to the living room the next second, he placed one of the table along with a glass of water. Felicity eyed it warily before taking it and Oliver didn't say anything while going back to the kitchen to keep the glass in the sink.

His ears perked up at the sound of news reporter.

"_Well, it seems like history is repeating itself. Oliver Queen was spotted with his ex-wife Felicity Smoak. Maybe the two of them were spending some quality time together on Valentine's Day. It's been almost three years since the Starling City 'It' couple has broken up and it seems like they are finding their way back to each other. _"

The lady on the screen smiled brightly, a picture of Oliver and Felicity popping up on the screen. It was a picture that dated a few years back. Felicity was grinning in it, her hand in Oliver's who was looking at her, his eyes full of love. It was a pretty subtle moment and the timing was pretty impeccable.

A second later, another photo popped up on the screen. This was yesterday's, Felicity's hand was in Oliver's. And this picture she was the one who was looking up at him kinda similar to the way he was in the previous picture.

"_However, there is still one heart that is broken at the knowledge of our favourite couple uniting." _A picture of Laurel popped up on the screen and Oliver groaned, "_Laurel Lance had reportedly been dating Oliver Queen since January 2014." _She paused for dramatic effect and that was all it took for Felicity to switch off the television.

She turned her head towards her ex-husband, "Oliver!" She glared at him, "This is all your fault!"

"My fault! You got drugged!" Oliver pointed out, "After you gave me that drink in the first place."

"It wasn't my intention. And I'm sorry I wasn't able to keep an eye out at the reporters because I was busy looking out for you."

"Yeah but-frack, this is such a mess." Felicity started, "People believe we are together again! Do you even realize how bad could this be, Oliver? Like together, together which we are not. They have misunderstood the entire thing. I mean you and I can't even stand each other. What if they ask us to give an interview?" She frowned, "We won't be able to. And what if they ask your family? Oh my god! You're family, Oliver! They will slaughter me. Well, figuratively of course." She tilted her head, "Or maybe not. I do co-own the company after all-"

"Felicity," Oliver stopped her short, "Calm down." She took a deep breath, "I'm handling this." Oliver raised one finger in the air and placed his mobile against his ear. His voicemail was full of messages and a list of missed calls were displayed on his screen. He was pretty sure that his entire family knew.

Felicity stood up. She hugged the tablet to her chest before walking towards the balcony and stood near the door. She could see reporters standing outside and her lips turned upside down, "They are like animals."

"I talked to Reece," Oliver told her and Felicity shot him a questioning gaze, "He is from the PR department. They are sending people here." He told her, "I don't know how they spotted us last night."

Silence ensued for a split second before, "Oliver?"

"Yeah?"

"Did..did something happen last night?" Felicity bit her lip as she looked at him and Oliver shook his head, "No. Nothing happened last night."

_Well, except you may have uttered something here and there._

"Good." Felicity nodded her head. She slid her finger across the tablet, "You still don't put a passcode on them?" She frowned and Oliver shook his head, "You know I don't use them, Felicity." Oliver's gaze was on his phone as he talked to her. She shrugged before getting comfortable on the couch.

"What are you doing?"

"Trying to look into a few news agencies."

Oliver huffed a chuckle before vacating the living room.

_Hacking is such an angry word, Oliver._

…

"Yes John, "Oliver nodded his head while talking to him, "She is safe. And no, she didn't do anything stupid." He continued, "Now would you please see that the crowd goes away? And yes, do meet me after that. We need to talk." Oliver hung up his cell before dialling another number.

"Hey Laurel," He started as he leaned against the window in his room, "Yeah, I'm so sorry." He pressed the bridge of his nose with his left hand, "I know, it was reckless." He muttered out the last part.

"_What about the news, Ollie? Were you really with her?"_

"Yeah, about that." Oliver didn't know where to begin from, "It's long story. I'll explain it to you when I reach home, okay?"

He heard her sigh on the other end, _"I just-"There_ was a brief pause, _"I don't know why, I feel insecure when she is around. I know I should talk to you about this in person but I just-I just don't want to lose you. I love you, Oliver."_

Oliver bit his lip as he contemplated a reply, "I know how this looks, okay? But trust me, nothing is the way what the media makes it out to be." He paused when he heard her speaking, "Thank you." He said a second later, "I love you Laurel."

He turned around, wanting to tell Felicity that the situation had been handled only to find her standing on the threshold of the bed. "I just-" Felicity stuttered under his gaze. Her hands moved showing him her phone, "I needed a charger." She bit out, her voice suddenly small and a second later, realization dawned on Oliver. "Sorry."

"Feli-"

Felicity turned around and walked away.

Oliver's finger twitched as he pressed his lips together. His hand rose as if he wanted to say something but Felicity had already fled. This was all that he had wanted since the beginning. To show her that without her he was happy. That her screwing with Ray had paved a happy path for him and he wasn't a lovesick fool anymore.

Now he had.

Why wasn't he feeling satisfied?

…

Felicity moved her finger across the tablet, trying to distract herself. She knew that Oliver was with Laurel so it shouldn't hurt that much. Well, it shouldn't hurt to be very frank but Felicity figured out that the only reason she was hurting because he was a link to Conner and she was sad about that breaking.

But the pain was intense. Being a genius, it didn't take her heart and mind to put two and two together but she still was in denial. She didn't have feelings for Oliver.

She didn't.

The doorbell rung and Felicity looked towards the bedroom, almost expecting Oliver to walk in any moment but when he didn't, she made her way towards the door and opened it.

"Oliver, you're neighbour shouted at me-"Thea tilted her head as she stared at Felicity. Tommy and Roy (at least that was the name that Felicity remembered) were standing behind it. "You're not Oliver." Thea uttered and Felicity didn't say a word as she moved a little to the side allowing them to enter inside.

"What in the world are you doing here?" Tommy's voice was harsh and Felicity got comfortable on the couch. She knew that this would be their reaction and at this point she might as well get comfortable to listen to the things they have to say about her.

"Yeah, about that." Felicity grinned sardonically, "Ask your best friend." She gritted out the next moment.

"Why can't you just leave my brother alone?" Thea narrowed her eyes at her, "Haven't you done enough? Slee-"

"Whose there?" Oliver interrupted them and the four occupants of the room pivoted their heads in his direction, "Oh thank god." Felicity heard Thea muttered before she reached forward and hugged Oliver. She pulled away and then shoved his chest, "Where were you? I was worried."

"I messaged!"

"Still!" She exclaimed before whipping her head towards Felicity, "And what is _she _doing here?"

"Geez, Thea. So much of love," Felicity mumbled under her breath.

"It's a long story," Oliver shrugged it off, "I'll explain it you guys later today." He looked around, "Reece and John?"

"Downstairs." Tommy informed him, "John is getting rid of the crowd. He has a whole team down there and Reece told us to fetch you. You both are having a press conference."

"Press conference?"

"Yup." Thea supplied to her brother, "To get rid of the rumours. Mom, Laurel and Sara will meet us there."

"Isn't this at a short notice?"

"That's the only solution." Tommy told Felicity and she frowned, "But I'm not dressed for it."

Thea shot her an exasperated look, "I don't think people are going to notice your dressing style, Smoak."

Felicity's eyebrows furrowed as she heard the last word, "Actually, statistics tells us that ninety pe-"

Tommy sighed, "We'll get your clothes on our way."

"Now come on!" Thea moved behind Oliver and then shoved his shoulders, "We need to get going." She looked at Felicity the next moment, "You too." She paused, "Or do you want to delay this further? Want a place back into my brother's life?"

Felicity tilted her head sideways, "I'll skip."

Thea rolled her eyes, "Now come on!" Tommy was about to open his mouth to say something but he shrugged it off the last minute. Felicity watched Oliver, Thea and Tommy leave before she realized a person was standing right next to her, "So, you wanna say anything too Roy?"

Roy gulped, "Nope." He stuffed his hands in his jean pockets, "I don't know you so I can't judge you."

"That's a great opinion you have there."

"Well, I've been judged my entire life so I know how it feels like." Felicity was about to say something but before she could utter the words, Thea came in through the open door. She looked at the two of them before pulling Roy's arm, "Come on, let's go Roy." She looked at her boyfriend and Felicity rolled her eyes.

"Or she would start ranting about how she lost her son and husband."

Felicity blinked.

And blinked.

A pang hit her chest and her eyes begin to burn. Thea's face got clouded with regret for a split second on seeing her reaction. Her mouth was slightly parted, her eyes glossy and Thea for a moment felt like the biggest bitch on this planet. The look of disappointment on Roy's face didn't help much either. A second later, the look vanished and she glared at Felicity coldly before turning around and walking away, Roy in tow. She did stop midway though when she saw her brother who shook his head (at her) before walking past the two of them.

Felicity bit her lip.

_Or she would start ranting about how she lost her son and husband._

Just when she thought she was accepting reality.

Lines appeared on her forehead, her lower lip wobbling. She was dangerously close to crying. But then she saw Oliver standing in the doorway, a frown on his forehead and was that regret? She didn't know what to think.

She mustered up the courage she had as she started speaking, "I was just…" She pointed towards her bare feet. She had taken off her shoes a little while after they entered the house again. "Looking for my shoes." She mumbled, her voice small as she bent down, moving her hands just to distract herself and him, so that she won't cry in front of him.

The tears did flow then and she wiped it with her hand.

"Felici-"

"Yeah, I can't find them." Felicity looked around only to find her sneakers lying haphazardly a few metres away. "There they are." She picked them up before moving up.

Her face was red, her cheeks were wet and Oliver felt his heart break at the sight of it, "Felicity, Thea-"

"Has grown up." Felicity completed the sentence, trying to muster a smile but failing miserably. At this point, she should have replied back harshly but she felt weak and she wanted to just cry. Somethings hurt you really bad. "Yeah, you would be proud of her."

Oliver flinched. Was he any better than Thea? He called her a leftover and Thea said this thing to her.

Was this the way she reacted when he called her so?

He told himself she deserved it.

But did she really?

He made himself believe that she did.

But this? What Thea said was absolutely ridiculous. Bringing up Conner was way out of line. "We should go." Felicity mumbled, looking at her reflection on the hardwood floor as she ruffled her hair lightly. Her nose was red and her voice was wavering, "Felicity, can you-"

"We should go." Felicity rubbed her hands on her jeans as she started to move past him.

Oliver needed to talk to her so he said what came to his mind in a second, "What about the charger?"

"I'm sorry?"

"You needed to charge your phone, right? Did you find it?"

"Actually," Felicity sniffed, "I didn't." She told him, "You can keep your phone here-"

"No thank you, Oliver." Felicity started, "It's not like I have people in Starling who are worried about me, right? It'll be fine." She tried to give him a smile before walking out.

And suddenly, Oliver felt a lot worse than before.

…

**May 2009**

_Oliver felt like a douchebag. It was his fault anyway. He shouldn't have left her alone. He knew how fundraisers usually were, well the people present there usually were yet he left her alone there._

_He opened the door to her apartment and placed the key back in his pocket. It was something that Felicity had given him a little while after they had become friends. But recently, she gave him a keychain too for it, with a heart on it and Oliver knew what it meant and it made him love her more._

_She could be so adorable some times._

_Okay, all the time._

_He entered her bedroom only to find her sitting on the bed in one corner. Doctor Who was playing on the television and he knew that this was her comfort show. He forgot how many times she had gushed about Rose and Doctor Who. And then there was her epic babbling that who she liked better between Matt Smith and David Tennant._

_Oliver personally like Matt Smith though. Yes, Felicity had made him watch the entire series and he would admit that he enjoyed every bit of it. Sometimes, when he found the episode boring he would just sit there and watch Felicity repeat the lines, her voice trying to match up the voice of the actors and laugh._

_But now, tears were dripping down her cheeks and Oliver bit his lip, his expression getting clouded._

_He didn't like seeing her cry._

_She made him happy. She was the part of his life that he looked forward too. She made everyone happy. She didn't deserve pain. She did not._

"_Felicity?" _

_The girl in question turned her head towards him and Oliver tilted his head sideways as he sighed watching her cry. Felicity wiped her tears almost instantly, "Oliver." She tried to grin, "I was just watching the Doomsday part," She waved her hand in the air, "You know how it gets to me, right?" She looked really vulnerable right now. Her smile was fake, her lower lip wobbling. _

"_Felicity." Oliver sighed before taking off his shoes and coming to sit right beside her, "I heard."_

"_What?" Felicity tried to shrug it off, "That I made a fool of myself out there? Don't worry. I'm pretty sure people would forget about it by tomorrow." She grinned, or tried to, her hands fisting on the hem of her batman t-shirt, "It's fine."_

"_You can talk to me, you know that right?" Oliver pressed his hand on her shoulder and a tear dripped down Felicity's cheek, "They just-they just started talking about how I was dating Oliver Queen and then the conversation suddenly shifted towards the fact that I didn't have a dad." She whispered, "They called me his leftover, Oliver and how despite of everything, I had managed a position in a big company only because I slept with the CEO's son."_

"_You know," Felicity wiped her tears with the back of her hand and Oliver leaned closer to her, "People called us that. His leftovers. It's like he made the mistake and we paying for it-I don't understand. Why are people so mean, Oliver?" She whimpered, "Why?" She uttered before she fell into his arms and Oliver hugged her tightly, his hands running through her blonde locks._

_Felicity whimpered, pressing her cheek on his shoulder. Oliver whispered soothing words and this calmed her down a little. She pulled away a minute later and Oliver cupped her cheek, "Sometimes," Oliver started, his thumb wiping off the tear tracks on her cheeks, "The world is not as innocent and pure as you are, Felicity. It's not." He told her softly and Felicity leaned her head against his palm, "People say. They talk bullshit but you don't let them faze you. You have reached here because you have that strength. Don't let some high class bitch ruin your life._ _"_

_He smiled, "These tears are really precious. Don't waste them for anyone, okay?" Felicity sniffed but nodded against his hand before Oliver pressed a kiss against her forehead causing Felicity's eyes to close._

_There was a pregnant pause before, "Dad kicked them out."_

"_What?"_

"_He kicked those ladies out of the fundraiser and I might have started shouting at them, telling them that I am dating you and it's because I love you."_

"_You what?"_

"_Yeah," Oliver grinned lopsidedly, "I might have confessed that in front of everyone? Also, I think the papers would definitely publish them." He uttered, "But you don't like publicity and I still don't know your response. This is bad-"_

_Felicity flung herself at her, hugging him tightly. She couldn't stop grinning as she pressed her cheek against his shoulder. She could feel tears collect in her eyes and some of them might have escape but this was different._

_She was happy._

"_What? You're crying again? I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. You know you don't need to cry. God, please don't cry."_

_Felicity pulled away the next second and hit his shoulder with her right hand, "You dork! I love you too!" She said and Oliver's eyes brightened, "You do?"_

"_Yes!" She smiled happily before hugging him away and this time she felt Oliver wrap his arms tightly around her, "Uh, Felicity."_

_Felicity's head was still on his shoulder, "Yes?"_

"_This is the part where we kiss."_

"_Later." Felicity didn't want to let go of him now, "Loads of kissing and sexy times." She mumbled again, snuggling up to him, "Especially since you're wearing your sexy suspenders."_

"_I thought you didn't notice."_

"_Oh, I noticed. I notice everything."_

_She felt Oliver chuckle and then press a kiss on her hair._

_She might not have a father._

_But she had her world right here._

…

Felicity sat on the stairs that were behind the hall where the press conference was taking place. She was glad that she chose to wear jeans when she stopped by at her house earlier today.

The minute they stepped out of the car, Oliver and Felicity parted ways. Oliver was with his family and she was sitting here all alone.

She wanted to cry.

She did.

Frankly, her mood did brighten up in the car when John had opened up the front door for her asking her to grab the shot gun. Felicity agreed and John told her how she once told him she was his friend, so she would sit on the shotgun and hence, it would always be reserved for her.

But now, she was out here all alone and she couldn't help but recall Thea's words.

_Or she would start ranting about how she lost her son and husband_.

She voiced what was real though, didn't she?

She did lose her son.

And her husband.

Honestly, what was she even doing here in Starling?

Oh yeah, to fulfil her father's last wish.

Who she lost as well.

Felicity sniffed and leaned her head down. She was sure her face was red and one tear leaked out from the corner of her eye. She was about to wipe it when a white handkerchief was shoved in front of her face and she frowned before turning towards the person who was offering it.

The person's blue eyes were filled with curiosity and Felicity could smell his cologne on the handkerchief that probably he had gotten out of his suit jacket that he looked really good in. He moved the hand further, his black hair moving accordingly and when Felicity didn't accept it, he shoved it back in his jacket before standing up, "I am guessing that's a no then."

Felicity frowned for a second before calling out, "Yes." She didn't even know why she said yes. Maybe she just needed a companion at this point. The guy laughed a little, before giving the handkerchief to her and she sniffed lightly, "Thank you."

"So?"

"So?" Felicity echoed.

"I see a girl crying on a staircase, _alone. _So, I was wondering how you got here?"

"Just because you offered me a handkerchief doesn't mean I'll talk to you about my life. This is not Forrest Gump."

"Funny, I always believed that life is box full of chocolates. Maybe you got stuck with the nutty one, huh?"

"I'm allergic to peanuts." Felicity wiped the tear tracks and the guy frowned, "Really? That's a shame. That means you've never had peanut butter sandwiches."

Felicity nodded, "I did once. Then I went into anaphylactic shock and discovered I was allergic to them," She smiled softly and the guy laughed. Felicity sniffed a second later and the guy frowned, "You want to talk?"

"No." Felicity bit out, "Why would I talk to you about my life? Why are so keen on knowing about it anyway? Like my life wasn't already a mess. My husband left me and now people think we're together, isn't that twisted?" Felicity frowned, "It's like God is planning things against me. Next thing we know, that Oliver and I are engaged. Oh my god! I said it. What if I jinxed it? Do you think I jinxed it? Because statistics tells us that jinx do come true like thirty seven percent of the time and what if I fall into them? My luck has already ditched me. Let's face it, even my bad luck is bad."

The guy laughed loudly and Felicity furrowed her eyebrows, "What is so funny, Mister?" Her head tilted sideways, the end of her pony tail landing on her shoulder.

"Nothing," He raised his arms in surrender, "You're just..."

"Just what?" Felicity frowned, "Screwed. Alone." She counted on her fingers and then her lips curled upside down, "I'm alone." She murmured as she looked at the guy for a plausible explanation. His gaze lowered and then his expression changed, "How about we change that?"

"Change what?"

"Here." He said before taking out a card and giving it to her. Felicity didn't see it but she was sure it was a visiting card, "I'm alone too. Recently shifted here. So, I could use some help."

"Are you asking me out on a date? Because let me tell you-"She raised a finger and then pointed it towards herself, "I don't date. My track record isn't good at all. The last guy I dated is now my ex-husband, the guy before that my said ex-husband scared him off and the guy way before that ditched me because I refused to hack into the government when he asked me to." She sighed, "I don't date."

"It's a not a date." He raised his hands in surrender, "I just want my handkerchief back." He looked at the cloth that Felicity had been clenching in her hands, "Oh. _Oh." _Felicity mumbled, "Of course."

She squinted her eyes at the card and gasped, "You're a reporter." Her gaze turned vehement, "Is that why you were asking for my life story?" She shoved him and the guy frowned, "I know. I'm sorry. My boss sent me here to grab some information about the case."

"If you tell your boss about anything I will ruin your career," She narrowed her eyes at him. She threw the card at him and then the handkerchief, "You guys just know how to play with emotions, don't you?"

He got up a second later, his hands reaching for the card and the cloth lying on the ground. Felicity was still glaring at him, "I am telling you, I would ruin your career if anything I said would get published in the papers. My life is already a mess, I don't need people like you in my life."

"I know," He sighed, "My intention was never to get the story, Ms. Smoak." He paused, "You actually looked like you needed someone. I never would have taken advantage of you. I've been in that position and it doesn't feel good,"

Felicity's gaze softened but she didn't say anything, "I just wanted to help. I won't tell my boss anything, not that you've actually told me loads but no." Felicity looked at the ground and she felt him keeping the card right beside her, "I don't blame you for not trusting me." He bit his lip, "Just in case, you change your mind Ms. Smoak. You really look like you need a friend,"

He walked away and Felicity frowned, crossing her arms. "What does he know about friendship anyway? He just came here for business." Still Felicity found herself reaching for the card.

_Ed Raymond._

_Senior News Reporter _

_BBC News_

She contemplated whether she should throw the card away or not but she went with the latter, figuring that if she would have to ruin his career, she would need some information.

"Felicity."

She turned herself, her elbow resting on the step that was above as she looked at Oliver. His face resembled what hers for hours ago. "I just came here to call you," He bit out, "But it seems like you are busy."

Felicity got up in an instant, the card being shoved in her back pocket, "No. I'm coming." She stated and didn't say another word while walking past him.

Oliver's gaze lingered on the guy who apparently was a reporter and now standing with his crew. He shook his head the next second and turned around and walked towards the hall.

He had other things to worry about.

…

The flashes was something that Felicity will never get used to, to be honest. People were sitting on their seats, mics clenched in their hands. Felicity had attended numerous of press conferences with Ray and with her dad too but she wasn't in the front line.

"So are the two of back together?"

And the questions weren't this painful.

"No." Felicity leaned forward, her mouth hovering near the mic, "We're not getting back together." She looked at Oliver who was looking ahead at the crowd, "Ever." Oliver looked at her as she uttered the word. Felicity moved back, her hands on her lap.

"So, is still dating Laurel Lance?" This time it was Oliver's turn and he smiled, "Yes." Felicity could swear she saw Laurel grin widely at the fact and she frowned.

"What were the two of you doing together last night?"

"Uh," Felicity stuttered for reply, "He was just helping me," She raised her eyebrows towards Oliver who took this as his cue and started speaking, "We're still friends. Besides, I don't think we owe anyone an explanation. We just wanted to clarify that we aren't together."

Well, that was to the point.

Clearly, Oliver was better than this than her.

…

Oliver sighed as he sipped his coffee. "Thank you for the coffee," He told Diggle who nodded, "I needed it." And he did. He hadn't showered and had simply changed his clothes. He had gone through days where he hadn't showered (Felicity used to make a face when she discovered that but he knew that even she had days when she didn't shower) but he felt uneasy rather than dirty. The past two days had been hectic and he needed to have a warm shower to relax, just relax.

He had a pretty rough day. From the words that Felicity to now. Laurel had suggested that they should reveal they were engaged ( okay, maybe Oliver had forgotten about it) but he said no. Moira had chewed his ear off and wanted to talk to Felicity but Oliver and Diggle had to handle her. Felicity had enough for a day.

It was a rough day.

"No problem." Diggle stated before he asked the question that had been plaguing him for quite a long time, "What happened last night? And why was Felicity's mood off earlier?" He looked at the woman in question who was standing at one corner talking to Gerry who had appeared moments ago.

"Thea," Oliver started, "She said her something." Digg crossed his arms, "And you let her." He glared at him, "You are a coward, Oliver. Why can't you ever take a stand for her?" John shook his head in disappointment. He started to make his way towards Felicity, away from Oliver when the latter stopped him, "I tried talking okay? But she just won't listen. She was-" He paused, closing his eyes, "She-I should have said something, you're right."

Who the hell was he denying?

The comment about Conner was uncalled for. It was.

And he kept envisioning her expression.

Sure, the way she was reacting was because of the comment about Conner right? She left him for Ray, so she shouldn't be sad about leaving him.

She wouldn't be.

"But there is something else we need to talk about." He told Digg, "Last night, when she was drunk...Felicity said a few things," His voice trailed off and Diggle's eyebrows rose in question, "She said-" He pressed the bridge of his noise, "She said that she tried to commit suicide."

Digg gaped, "Suicide?"

He looked at Felicity, suddenly hit by the thought that what if she really had succeeded?

"I need to-I need to know." Oliver mumbled, "I need to know. I need to talk to her, I-"

"You weren't there for her, Oliver." Diggle was suddenly angry. He was this close to losing her, "You left her! And she could have-"

"I could have lost her too, okay?" Oliver frowned, "I could have lost her too." His voice trailed off as the scenario hit his mind. He closed his eyes, "You're not the only one." He raised his finger, "I need –I need to get some answers. I need to talk to her. Please just help me with this, okay?" He was almost desperate.

"I'll look into it." Diggle crossed his arms, "I'll-I'll look into it." He furrowed his eyebrows the next minute, "That's not the only thing she said though, right?" Oliver's expression gave it all away.

"You don't need to worry yourself about that," Oliver started, his fingers tightening around the coffee cup, "It was nothing serious." He flashed him a forced smile.

John Diggle was a smart guy.

"She said something else, didn't she?" He smiled a little, the tension easing off. "But you refuse to believe it."

"No."

"I'm not asking what it is." Diggle refused to believe it, "But there is still something that you refuse to believe. Ever since she left, you've been fooling yourself. How long will that go for, Oliver?"

Oliver pressed his lips together, "I'm not fooling myself, Digg. She didn't mean it."

"Really?" Diggle raised his eyebrows in question, "It's your choice whether to believe it or not. All I am saying is, if you believe the fact that she-"He paused, "tried to commit suicide then why can't you believe the others? If that is true so are the other things."

Oliver looked at Felicity who must have felt his gaze on her, turned to look at him too.

_I never was with Ray._

_I missed you._

_I love you._

Felicity turned her head slightly towards the left in question, waiting for something from Oliver before shaking her head and turned her attention back to Gerry. Oliver snapped out of his gaze.

_I love you._

"For how long will you continue to fool yourself, Oliver?"

_I love you._

Oliver's eyebrow furrowed.

_I love you._

"You don't understand. She said she-"His phone rang and he raised his finger in the air, pausing mid-conversation. He frowned when he saw the digits on his screen. Clearly, he didn't know who it was calling.

"Hello?"

"_Hello?" _There was a female on the other line and Oliver pressed the mobile closer to his ear, "Who is this?"

"_I should be asking that question, don't you think?" The lady laughed at the other end, "They were bajilion calls from this number on our landline."_

Oliver was flustered, "I'm sorry, I don't remember. I called a lot of people last night."

"_This is the Palmer Residence."_ And realization dawned on him. He remembered calling Ray's home last night and he also remembered thinking why it was saved as Ray's home in Felicity's phone. Shouldn't they be living together by now? He didn't save his home number though. He had kept going back to the last dialled list.

But who was this other lady at the end?

"I'm sorry, who is this?"

"_Wait, who is this?"_

"I'm Ray's friend. It's been a long time since we've talked so-"

"_Oh, I'm his wife. Courtney Palmer." _She paused, "_Now, if you could only tell me your name, I'll tell Ray about it."_

Oliver took a really deep breath, "His wife, of course." He pretended to agree with Courtney. He wanted to reach at the root of it.

Ray had a wife?

"So, I guess congratulations is in order?"

"_You're two years too late buddy."_

Oliver hung up.

Two years?

Ray had been married for the past two years? Then what about Felicity and him?

Ray Palmer had a wife.

Wife.

He was married.

Courtney Palmer.

The name did ring a bell though.

He just couldn't pin point where but it did ring a bell.

God, where had he heard that name before?!

Ray was _married._

He had a _wife._

So, Felicity and him were not together? Was she the lady who was with Felicity and Ray at his dad's funeral? Because Oliver simply thought she was Felicity's friend or something.

Oliver's hand tightened around his phone. He needed answers. Ray had been married for the past two years.

Two.

How could he if-

His gaze flickered towards Felicity who was talking to John.

_I never was with Ray._

"_All I am saying is, if you believe the fact that she tried to commit suicide then why can't you believe the others? If that is true so are the other things."_

"_For how long will you continue to fool yourself, Oliver?"_

_For how long?_

…

**Done.**

**Hoped you like it x **

**Thank you so so much for the awesome response, I'm grateful to every one of you ..I love you all x**

**But I will try.**

**Now I am not giving a date but I would definitely try before 1****st**** June.**

**P.S I am planning for this to be a THIRTY CHAPTER story. A lot of people have asked about this and I keep forgetting.**

**P.P.S how many of you read the flashbacks?**

**Talk to me more on twitter **

** srishti369 **

**Thank you x**

**I love you all **

**Srishti x**


	15. Chapter Fourteen : Coast City

**Oh my god.**

**Do you see the digits up there?**

**518.**

**I'm so thrilled and I'm so grateful to everyone of you.**

**We reached 500 guys…go get yourself a cookie, you deserve one!**

**I LOVE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU. WITHOUT THIS SUPPORT, THIS FANFIC WOULD BE NO WHERE**

**THANK YOU.**

**I swear I'm so close to crying.**

**I seriously love you all.**

**Okay, I saw a review from a person called 'ConstantlyWaitin' and the time thing has been a problem. Here's the response :**

**I know it is a problem. I usually do give a date and it happens at times that I might update a little while later but I do update within the next ten days. I might have mentioned this before if I'm not able to update, please know that I would will update within the next ten days.**

**First of all, last chapter I admitted myself that I don't stick to dates so I said I would TRY to update by first of June. Try is the keyword. And frankly, I would have, had there been no exam. I study in an institution where they keep random classes. Yes, RANDOM. Sometimes, it is at ten in the morning and sometime at three in the evening. I got to know after the update that I have an exam. I live in INDIA. Here 95% means NOTHING. Yup, NOTHING. It's my last year of high school and I have to focus on my studies. On top of it, I have parents to tell me to do well, my mother who deals with depression and a younger brother to take care off. I'm not complaining. I'm not saying I won't update but I'm saying please try and understand. I have responsibilities here too. I try to write everyday but it will take time. I know what it is like waiting for a fanfic and the author doesn't update, but please try and stand in my shoes for once. I am running almost the entire day and then I have to sit down and write. I'm not complaining. I LOVE writing, I write because I love it, not because someone is forcing me too. Yes, I do make commitments and yes, I fail to fulfil them sometimes but what I tell you guys, it's not excuses, it's the truth. No one is perfect enough to fulfil all of their commitments, I'm not either. I do update later, but please understand my plight too. **

**The reason why I used to give timelines is because I wanted to find out the time in between the tight schedule I had. But it isn't working out. I'm sorry for that. So sorry for that. Which is why, I'm stopping now.**

**So, let's make this a two way street, alright? I'll try and update faster. No update date but a timeline that I can stick too. But if I don't, please understand. This is a new thing, let's try it together.**

**We'll make this work :D**

***Friend snatches the laptop* ( Her name is tavishipriyam and she wanted to write something too.)**

**I read a review the other day by Constantlywaiting. And sorry if you don't get timely updates but please be considerate enough and think what the author might be going through. You have absolutely no idea about her life, so you don't have remotely any idea of how difficult it is for her to update some days. I know her and can tell you she is definitely doesn't neglect her fanfics and people who wait for them. It is all she talks about for twenty four hours. And please don't hate her for this. She did not type this. I am a friend and I care about her. A polite 'please update' would have worked fine as well. We all make commitments and no one is perfect enough to fulfil all of them. Thank you.**

**Tavishi**

…

**So, who all are excited for the update?**

**NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE A FLASHBACK CHAPTER, SO DO WATCH OUT. **

**REVELATIONS BUDDY!**

**AND I STILL HAVE TO THANK EVERYONE OF YOU. FROM FAVOURITES TO FOLLOWS TO REVIEWS.**

**I LOVE YOU ALL.**

**432 TO 518…HOLY SHIT (gapes like a fool)**

**Thank you in no particular order :**

**Tavishipriyam, charlotte90,scarl, guest(1),guest(2),guest(3), Carte Bancair, ConstantlyWaitin, Guest(4), LittleRed20, Anonymous4nowx,wellwisher123, schnuz, Quincy, .9 ( SIN BELLA 9 – FF ALWAYS WIPES YOUR NAME AWAY -.-), ThePrinceAlwaysGetsThegirl,Sylviecake231, EpicNuby, sveta18, zvc56, Guest(5),guest(6), worldwarIII, Kathryn P, MelinderBball, Guest(7), Jenni, nyah, onetreefan, crayoline, ZN22, 4321, VintageWine, Anonimous, Bdbouchra, Kimminightwing, guest(8), guest(9), KylieCullenSummers, RachysAddictionToWords, guest(10),Terry1979, Wao29, Jasmin Valdez, amandahold, harshi, guest(11),guest(12), 5283, Gaialy, CealSR, Belairdes, guest(13), Queen Peacock, ashley2060, Kamaza, va09, andreia9melguinha, NJ, Guest(14), lisa, guest(15), guest(16), lucy1997, sunny2006, Tuliyana, Mali Chorky, Ladygreysnow, anonanana, pia, sophieby, guest(17),guest(18),dreamingofolicitrealized.**

**Replies :**

**TavishiPriyam – You're awesome x**

**Guest – Thank you for your review. On an average it takes me about twelve to thirteen hours but before that I have to sit and plan the entire chapter with the flashbacks so that it comes in flow and makes sense with the past things I have written..so maybe like fifteen. **

**Rest depends on length of the chapter.**

**Tuliyana – John Diggle is the best and yeah, Thea was a bitch. Glad you liked it x**

**Mali Chorky – Thirty yeah, it is a rough idea though. Angst is the key babe. Angst is the key :p**

**Lisa – Oh, Oliver is going to pay. He has a lot in store for him.**

**Lucy1997 – Thank you sweetheart!**

**NJ- Oh my god, I loved your insight. It was awesome and to the point. Yes, we'll make Oliver grovel and beg. You can't past these things easily. And guess what? I really like it when you guys cry :p ..so it's like sadism is in my blood ..I'm going to enjoy messing with Oliver..haha ;p Thanks x**

**Wazo29 – You're back! Thank you so much darling ! xx **

**Gaialy- I know right?**

**Va09- I love your reaction to freaking everything! Thank you for reviewing and yes, things are going to change now.**

**Queen Peacock- Oliver has dug himself in a hole. He surely will have to redeem himself. Thank you :')**

**Amandahold- Thank you so much! I've wanted this story to be realistic and I'm so glad you are liking it x Thank you :')**

**VintageWine - *borrows wine* Ed is definitely here to stay ( and so is the wine )**

**Kimminightwing- AWWW :') HAPPY TIMES WILL COME TO. Thanks for reviewing x**

**KylieCullenSummer- You don't read flashbacks? That's a bummer *pouts* but it's okay. To each their own. I'm glad you're liking this story though! :')**

**Terry1979- I get it :p But when I plan a chapter, I usually plan an ending too. So even if the flashbacks were less, you would have read the same present stuff as you do now. Thank you so much for the review though! Xx Enjoy :D (English isn't my first language too..don't sweat )**

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**Guest( Spanish) – You reviewed in Spanish and it was amazing. I needed google translator though. Yes, Felicity will mourn without the help of men like Ray, Oliver. She is growing. You would definitely see a head strong Felicity further. Now, she is dealing with this on her own. It's going to take time, but it will happen. **

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**Special thanks to :**

**Va09, Wellwisher123, Anonymous4nowx, Queen Peacock, OneTreeFan, Lucy1997, Kamaza, wazo29, .9 ( SIN BELLA 9 ), kimminightwing, NJ. **

**For almost reviewing every chapter x Thank you for your constant support.**

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**LET'S START SHALL WE?**

**THANK YOU GUYS ! **

**NOT BETAED.**

**( KAMAZA WILL DO IT IN THE FUTURE. SHE ROCKS :p)**

**Word Count : 7543**

**Disclaimer : I don't own Arrow.**

"**Where is there is love, **

**There is no resentment, **

**Instead, there is hope." – Unknown**

**Chapter Fourteen : Coast City**

Oliver Queen was confused.

Ray Palmer had a _wife._

So, did that mean Felicity and him were never together?

Questions like these kept popping up in his head. He frowned to himself as his fingers curled around the railing of the balcony. He whipped his head when he heard someone approaching him. Laurel smiled when she saw him but Oliver didn't reciprocate it. He just turned around and chose to stare ahead instead.

"Hey," Laurel placed her hand on his shoulder, her ring shining under the moonlight and Oliver smiled a little. "You've been spending an awful lot of time being mopey these days, don't you think?"

Oliver shook his head, "I'm not mopey." He paused, "Besides, I think it's the just stress getting to me." He told her, "Stress." He mumbled under his breath, his hand reaching for Laurel's.

"How's the hand?"

"Good." He mumbled. He had taken off the bandage he wore on his hand hours ago. His hand was in a good shape thanks to his physiotherapist.

He knew what was coming ahead. They had talked about how he ended up with Felicity and Laurel understood-or tried to but she did express her annoyance about the fact that it was Felicity before deciding that they would go on a date the next week but they still needed to talk about some other things.

Oliver just wasn't in the mood though.

"Ollie," Laurel started and Oliver looked at her, "What I told you on the phone earlier today, I-I love you, okay? But these days it's just-"

_I love you._

Oliver pinched the bridge of his nose before he placed his hands on her shoulders, "I know we have to talk about that." He told her softly, "But not today, okay? I'm just stressed." He bit out, "Tomorrow, first thing in the morning."

_I love you._

He bit his lip and Laurel smiled a little, "Okay."

Oliver smiled lopsidedly before leaning down and pecking her lips. He walked past her and out of the room, wanting to clear his head.

Yeah, he really needed to clear his head.

…

Felicity really needed to clear her head. Thea's words kept ricocheting in her head and her lips turned upside down as she put the spoon back into the mint chip tub that she had been feeding on for the past one hour.

Doctor Who was playing on her television and she dug in for another scoop, she would get rid of this.

Thea was a bitch.

Honestly, Felicity should have told her something right there and then but then she was emotionally hurt and she uttered out incoherent words just to have some time alone and not to face the Queen siblings.

Damn them.

Well, at least she wasn't crying now. That was the only good right now-scratch that, _that _and mint chip were the only good things now.

Although she did have bloodshot eyes.

And a rather menacing glare.

Just then her phone rang. She frowned before pressing the pause button on her remote. She groaned when she saw Walter's name flashing on the screen.

Not today.

Tomorrow was a _Sunday._

Sunday.

She was supposed to be free. Come on, she didn't even visit her dad and Conner today.

Ahhh.

She sighed before swiping her finger across the screen, "Hello?"

She really hated God right now.

…

Oliver walked down the hallway wanting to head back to his room when a certain song ricocheted across the small space and he found himself turning.

_Jailhouse Rock._

Whipping his head towards the door that was slightly open, he pushed it further only to find his grandmother sitting on her bed, her head jiggling lightly as she mumbled the song along.

Oliver missed having her around. She had been living with them since his father's demise and he was glad about it. He really did miss her.

Oliver huffed a laugh before knocking and Judith snapped her attention towards him, "Oliver!" She grinned when she saw him, her face wrinkling but she still was one of the most beautiful women in Oliver's life, "Come here." She patted her bed before turning off the gramophone.

Oliver didn't waste any time as he sat beside her and to her surprise, he placed his head on her lap, his cheek landing on it and Judith frowned a little before her lips curled up, realization dawning on her, "What's wrong?"

Oliver simply closed his eyes, "Nothing."

"Oliver." She ran her fingers through his hair, "What's wrong?"

Oliver turned his head, his gaze fixating itself on the ceiling, "It's nothing, Grammy." He mumbled and Judith pushed her hand against the side of his head, "You'll keep secrets from me now?" Oliver had always been close to her. Heck, Felicity was too. But at this point, Oliver certainly would prefer talking to her mother about this matter rather than his grandmother.

Why?

Because she hated Felicity.

Call him a douche, but some part of reality did dawn on him. And the more it did, the more painful it was.

But he can't be right, can he?

But he couldn't be- he remembered, they were together-

But he has a wife.

Two years.

Maybe they broke up.

But then what was he doing at the funeral?

Were they still friends?

What if-_what if he was wrong all along?_

The realization was painful and he knew that if he told his grandmother that, the only response he would get will be in Felicity's favour. It might be wrong, it might be right. (Although he found himself leaning dangerously close towards the latter) And the closer he leaned, the harder was accepting the truth because then, it would all be pointless.

Everything would be _meaningless._

"Have you ever done something," Oliver started murmuring, his eyebrows furrowing, "and then you realize…there is a chance that you are _wrong,_" He paused, "But the thing you did," He blinked, "Was a big thing. Like a big one and now you can just undo it. You can't come back from it. It's that big but you want to come back from it-"

Judith ran her fingers through his hair and Oliver stopped mid conversation, his eyes turning towards her, "Sometimes, life is unpredictable. You make some decisions instinctively and they can be wrong. But Oliver, where there is love, there is no resentment. Instead, there is hope."

Oliver's eyes clouded and he frowned, "Wait, love-"

"Oliver," Judith cut him off, "There's hope." She said knowingly.

Oliver blinked for a second before his lips parted, the words he wanted to say dying in his throat. He let out a deep breath before getting up, "But-"

"There's hope, Oliver." Judith crossed her arms and leaned against the pillow lying behind her, "You still have hope-"

"Yeah," Oliver breathed, "But what if-"

A pillow hit him, "Ow. Grams!"

"Why do you have to be so obtuse all the time? Just listen to the old lady. For god sake, I'm your father's mother, give me some credit."

"Fine." Oliver raised his hands in surrender after dropping the pillow on her bed, "You are so impatient though." He grinned a little and Judith glared at him and that was Oliver's cue as he exited the room but not before mumbling her a thank you and receiving another glare in return which made him chuckle.

"You try waiting for almost three years, son." Judith crossed her arms, "And they call me impatient." She mumbled under her breath.

But at least Oliver was coming to his senses.

It was long overdue.

…

**July 2009 **

_Felicity had her head on Grammy's lap as she combed through her blonde hair. Growing up, she didn't have a father and her mother was in Las Vegas so she really didn't remember the last time she had felt home. But ever since she had known Oliver, she didn't realize how his family had become hers. She remembered how she had cried to Oliver about this, how happy she was to have found him and his family._

_She really loved them._

_She sighed before closing her eyes and she could here Grammy chuckle before she felt someone pulling her arm and she popped one eye only to see her pouting boyfriend, "It's my turn!"_

"_Go away." Felicity mumbled, moving her leg forward which hit Oliver, "Grams do you see her? I can't believe you like her." He mumbled and Felicity finally opened her eyes and glared at him, "She is here all the time. When I will go, then you lay here." Felicity closed her eyes again, "This is really good."_

"_You're supposed to spend time with me not with Grams."_

"_Yeah," Felicity started, "Like if I get up you would spend time with me. Liar."_

"_I'm not-"_

"_That's it," Judith cut them off, "You two are acting like kids." She reprimanded playfully and Oliver rolled his eyes, "Talk to her-"_

_The door of the room slammed grabbing their attention and they pivoted their heads only to find Thea holding onto her blanket, a sad look on her face and Felicity got up in a second. Thea took her place and Judith smiled a little, "What happened to my baby girl?"_

_Oliver pulled Felicity towards her and she frowned, her bottom lip jutting out, "Oliver-"_

"_No," He started, "She is most definitely on her period." He told her nonchalantly and Felicity gaped at him,"Yeah?"_

"_Yeah," Oliver nodded, "And since she has come to Grams and not to mom." He tilted his head as he stared at his sister, "It's bad."_

"_Then we should help her, Oliver. Because period pain is bad. Like it feels like your insides are on fire. It's like a message saying boom! You're not pregnant, here now pay the price-"_

"_We should go." Oliver mumbled, holding Felicity's hand and she furrowed her eyebrows, "But Thea needs us-"_

"_No, this one is bad." Oliver reasoned, "What she needs is just Grams. She knows what to do. Raisa would be coming upstairs with her special soup. We should go."_

"_Where?"_

"_I don't know," Oliver admitted, "But let's get out of here. Speedy will be cranky right now. You probably don't want to face her wrath."_

"_Yeah but she needs us-"_

"_I'll check on her tonight okay?" He told her softly, "Trust me, at this point she only needs Grams."_

"_Oh..kay." Felicity scrunched her nose adorably, "I'll get my clutch." She mumbled and then turned towards Thea and Grams, "You'll be alright, Thea?"_

_Thea groaned and buried her head in her grandmother's lap, "Yeah, you both just take your love story somewhere else." _

_Felicity's eyes widened a little and Oliver moved his hand beside his head, mumbling the word 'crazy'. She laughed a little and Oliver grinned. _

_Crazy or not. _

_She definitely loved them._

…

"Ray, tell me about Ted Kord again?" Felicity mumbled, a pen fixed between her fingers as she kept on writing what he was telling her.

Walter had called her a few hours ago, in the middle of her Doctor Who marathon ruining her already _ruined _day. And as the clock struck ten, Felicity was doing _work _rather than relaxing. She thought that Oliver and she had done their fair share of work earlier that day when they fixed up the salary structure with Walter who told them that it was him who told Gerry to get the papers signed.

And now here she was working again.

_On a Saturday._

Apparently, Ted Kord had been facing some problems with his company. Well, that wasn't a surprise, Felicity and Oliver did keep tab on the share market ratings and Kord Enterprises weren't faring well. Whereas Queen Consolidated were. They were the second most successful company, just behind Wayne Industries which Felicity had planned on taking over very soon. It was a surprise really that how most of the people chose to focus on the fact that they were chances that Oliver and she were getting back together rather than the success rate of the company. (Well, the business section of the media did. Not that frequently though.)

Walter had told her how he has offered an acquisition between Queen Consolidated and Kord Enterprises and it did grab Felicity's interest but not before she asked him why wasn't he talking to Oliver and why in the world was he calling her on Saturday night.

Oliver didn't pick up his phone and she made a mental note to talk to him about it. And then Walter told her that how Ted Kord was about to head to London for another meeting regarding his company and Felicity scoffed.

So much of tantrums for a CEO of a company that needs help, don't you think?

But now that Felicity thought about it could really benefit Queen Consolidated. The stocks would belong to Kord Enterprises and Queen Consolidated, most of the shares belonging to the latter and it would be QC's aim to make sure that Kord Enterprises' targets are met. QC would also receive cash and it will be perfect growth strategy for the other company too since QC happened to be amongst the top companies at the moment.

It would be perfect for QC too. It could be the rise that they need and it can push it forward to be the number one company. Now Felicity had her doubts which was why she was calling Ray who had worked under Ted Kord once.

She really needed to fix this up before Tuesday because that was the last day they could actually meet Ted Kord in Coast City.

Where was Oliver when you needed him?

Probably spending some time with Laurel.

She grumbled under her breath.

She wasn't going to get much sleep tonight.

She really hoped that Oliver won't get a good night sleep today either.

Work.

Ah.

…

Okay, so maybe Oliver wasn't really planning on sleeping tonight.

He pressed his eyes with the help of his thumb and middle finger and blinked as stared at the laptop.

_Courtney Palmer._

A lot of search links had popped up and he found himself clicking at one.

Getting comfortable on his bed, he waiting for the site to load.

He really had a long night ahead of him.

He would find the truth.

_There's hope._

….

Monday approached before Oliver and Felicity could even realise. The former had been busy with his recent _findings _and he also spent some time with his mom while the latter was busy setting up things for the acquisition.

Oliver exited the lift only to come to face to face with Diggle who just nodded at him. He had talked to John yesterday who had gritted his teeth the minute he mentioned what he thought of Ray and Felicity. John, his Grammy and his dad were the only ones who were carrying a baton for Felicity back in the day. Oliver was too much depressed and angry to listen to them and Felicity had literally been off the charts. Oliver knew where she was but he didn't tell them. He didn't even want to talk about her back then. He was hurt and didn't trust her. But they did.

He couldn't have been wrong.

They had been blinded by her.

Just like he was.

But, maybe...maybe it was him who had been blind all along.

(He still was)

Slowly and steadily, the realization was dawning on him but he still needed to hear it from her.

The bubble he had created for himself was yet to be broken, a small part of him still holding on to the belief that maybe they were indeed together before and he wasn't a fool.

Because the alternative was too painful.

Knowing that it was him-

He _couldn't._

"Oliver!" He heard a voice call out and he stopped in the middle of his walk and pivoted his head towards the right only to find the woman who had been occupying his mind for the past three days, glaring at him. "Come here!" She instructed and Oliver's right eyebrow rose up as he walked inside.

The cabin surely did look different from the last time he saw it. The black mahogany panelled walls paired well with the circular lights that illuminated the office with soft white light. Right in the middle of it, was a desk, its colour matching with that of the walls, two white computers placed on it and Felicity was sitting right behind them. Two white sofas were placed at one far end, a black table in the middle of it, a flower pot placed on it that he was pretty sure was Felicity's touch. Behind Felicity was a set of white wall shelves. Randomly attached to the wall at various places, Felicity had kept her coffee mug, a couple books on it. A frame was kept on it that had the words 'World's Best Mom'. He remembered him giving it to her Mother's day.

His fingers moved, turning the photo frame that was kept on Felicity's desk. It was a picture of Conner and Felicity that he once had snapped unbeknownst to Felicity. She was lifting Conner in the air, rubbing her nose against his, the two of them smiling brightly. They had a million photos of Conner, because when you have a little baby all you want to do is grab every moment of their waking life, but this one was definitely his favourite. His wallet used to have that photo a long time ago. Tucked in the corner of the frame was another photo, this one of his dad and her. Both of them were smiling at the camera.

"Do you know what happens to Queen Consolidated when …Queen goes missing?" She started talking, ignoring the way he was staring at the frame on her table, "Where the heck were you? I tried calling you but you were out with Moira and I don't-oh, I don't like that woman and then when I tried again there is that annoying automatic voice at the end saying that the phone was switched off! Switched off? You're a CEO! And then when I visited your house to meet dad and Conner-you weren't there!" She looked around, wanting to throw something at him but sighed when she didn't find anything. "You should really be more responsible, Oliver."

"Wait," Oliver raised his finger in the air and then sat on a chair opposite to her, "It was a _Sunday, _Felicity."

"Exactly," Felicity pointed out, "Sunday and I was working. _Working!"_

"Wait, what?" Oliver rolled his eyes sideways, "Why were you working?"

"You know," Felicity leaned her elbows on her table, the red pen she was holding in her hand moving in the air, "When your co-CEO does absolutely nothing you _have _to resort to that."

"Done?" Oliver tilted his sideways, "Or do you want to say something else too?" He smiled sweetly and Felicity narrowed her eyes behind her glasses. Before she could utter another word, he took the file that was kept right in front of her and leaned against the chair. Felicity chewed the back side of her pen as she waited for Oliver's reaction, "Ted Kord?" He looked at her, "His Company is facing downfall. We can't take that much of risk. The acquisition can fund us but the risk is too high." He shook his head, "Nope."

"Oliver!" Felicity said, exasperated, "You don't realise how good it can be for us. I've planned everything. We can achieve their targets and we have that capacity. We can buy company stock and the bidders. Oliver!"

"No. We had a merger with Merlyn Global once, let me tell you Felicity, it _sucked."_

"That was a merger! This is an acquisition!" She stated.

"And I've planned everything!" Felicity bit out, "Look I've made charts, I talked to Walter who has told Ted Kord that we will meet him. If we can buy his company's stock, do you realise how high can we reach, Oliver?" She moved her hand in the air, fingers dangling, "Come here. See this."

Oliver pushed his feet against the ground and got up before making his way around the table and scooting down to see what was on the computer screen. His head was dangerously close to Felicity's head, "I've planned this." Felicity moved her pen in the air, trying to explain him the chart. It showed that by the end of this year, QC would definitely be at the top, "And I talked to Ray too! He worked under him. The guy is awesome. He has skills."

"You talked to Ray?"

Felicity turned her head right instinctively, her eyes blinking as she realized the proximity between the two of them. She did feel his breath on her neck but she didn't have the courage to turn towards him. "Yeah, I did." She mumbled, her voice turning soft all of a sudden.

"Courtney too?"

And Felicity blinked before turning her head back towards the computer, "Yeah, I did."

Oliver breathed out a sigh, "Felicity, I need to-"

"Nope!" Felicity cut him off before getting off her chair, "You're not going to say no." She pressed the pen against his chest, "I did not work my ass off just for you to say no. I went to MIT, give me some credit."

"No, that's not-"Oliver shook his head. He was about to say something but stopped when he saw how Felicity was looking at him. Her bottom lip was tucked between her teeth, her blue eyes wide full of anticipation, "You trust this?" Oliver sighed. He wasn't really sure about this but if Felicity did then-it was okay.

"I do."

"We'll do it."

Felicity squealed all of a sudden clapping her hands, a joyous expression on her face and Oliver huffed a laugh. Her hands moved and she took a step towards Oliver, wanting to hug him but she realized her mistake, the last minute. Her expression turning from happy to the one that said awkward and Oliver took a step back seeing this, "We're supposed to leave tomorrow."

"Wait, what?"

"Yup. He is going to be available only tomorrow, " She huffed, "Considering how he needs us more, isn't that kinda snobbish?"

"And where do we have to go?"

"Coast City." Felicity murmured and Oliver's eyes widened, "Right."

"It's a four hour journey. Well, it _should _be of two hours but there is a stop at Gotham. So, the meeting is scheduled at eight pm tomorrow, so we can leave at twelve and reach there by four or something and talk about it."

"Or we could just take our private plane."

"Yeah, about that," Felicity started, "I don't think so. Walter took a flight for the Moscow subsidiary and the other one-" She paused, "I want to go to Gotham, Oliver. So no. So no private plane."

"Felicity, what is thi-"

"No."

It would be weird and awkward, just the two of them in a plane, alone. A plane that would have a surreal environment. Soft music, air conditioner, a bottle of wine-

_No._

Oliver's fingers twitched, fine let her have her way. Maybe he could talk to Felicity in Coast City. Talking beforehand was silly move anyway, it would affect the meeting. He still needed to clear some things out. Were the things he heard and saw, weren't true? He needed to know. Frankly, at this point all he could think about how he never talked to her about it. What if he was wrong?

What if their relationship got ruined over…nothing?

What if he ruined it?

He didn't know what to think of it.

Oliver picked up the file from the table and looked at Felicity, "I'll proofread this. Sorry for not …being there."

"Sorry?" Felicity mumbled in surprise. Ever since she had been back in Starling City this was probably the first time Oliver had said sorry to her. To be honest, they were a lot of things she deserved an apology for. For his harsh words and their behaviour but you know what was the worst part?

She didn't expect him too.

She didn't expect him to stand up against his family, against Thea, against anyone.

He never fought for her before.

What makes her think that he'll fight now?

She had lost her faith in him.

She really had, hadn't she?

It was painful to even think about it.

"It's okay."

But was it, really?

…

Monday passed away in a blink of an eye. Oliver had to read the reports and then he had to inform his family of how he would be leaving the next day. He might have earned some criticism from his mother who told him that how it was a huge risk but Walter had imposed his trust in Felicity and him and he had trusted Felicity too.

They were going to do this.

On other hand, he had to explain to Laurel of how it was a business trip, completely professional. She had ranted off about how she didn't like it was Felicity who he was going with him and he might have raised his voice telling her that Felicity was the CEO too and it was about time she accepted that.

She would always be a part of his life, no matter what.

She was his ex-wife after all.

And it was about time, she accepted that.

…

The two of them were sitting in the airplane. Felicity was sitting right in front of Oliver rather than beside much to his chagrin. Now, he knew he had to talk to her and this wasn't the right time but she could have bought tickets that were side by side rather than away from him, couldn't she?

There was a time when he didn't even want to see her face but now he wanted to sit beside her and maybe be talk to her.

Just be with her.

Because-why?

He just didn't know _why._

He still hadn't talked to her, he still didn't know whether he was right or wrong-so, why did he want to sit right beside her?

Oliver closed his eyes and leaned against the first class seat, getting comfortable on it, his hand curling around the glass of wine he had ordered.

He really needed to figure this out, didn't he?

…

The plane stopped at Gotham after a journey of one hour. It was one pm now and Felicity had to groan because she really didn't want to leave her movie in the middle. Some people would say, she should probably focus on the meeting but she had done most of the job and whatever bits of it were left will be covered in Coast City.

"So," She blinked when she saw Oliver hovering above her, "You wanted to see Gotham, right?"

"Yeah," Felicity turned over to fetch her bag, getting her clutch out of it. She placed the bag on her seat, the airline tag hanging on its strap, "Why are you-" She turned towards Oliver who standing beside her and blinked, "You want to come too?"

"Yeah," Oliver started, "It's a new place so it's better if we stick around and-"

"That's fine." Felicity did look flustered for a second before she shook her head lightly and walked past him.

Wasn't this the reason why she didn't want to go in a private plane instead?

They still would be stuck together.

Because, _of course _they would be.

…

Felicity tapped her fingers on the table impatiently as she waited for her food. Oliver was sitting right in front of her. The two of them had visited a market that happened to be quite close to the airport. They were having lunch right now (to be very frank Oliver wanted to have lunch back in the plane, because hello? First class but Felicity wanted this so here they were.)

"You really didn't need to be here, you know," Felicity started off, "If you wanted to go back-"

"No, it's fine." Oliver placed his hands on the table, interlocking his fingers, "Besides, I've already ordered so," His voice trailed off and Felicity hummed, her eyes ending up on the table finding it way too interesting.

"So, you live in Central City, right? How's life there?"

"Wait, how do you know I live in Central City?" Felicity leaned her elbow against the table as she stared at him and Oliver coughed, "There's just one Palmer Technologies and that is located in Central City."

Felicity tilted her head sideways and Oliver's eyebrow rose, a mix of amusement and trepidation across his face. She opened her mouth to say something when they were interrupted by the waiter who kept two glasses of wine in front of them. Felicity eyebrows quirked in question, "We didn't order-" She whacked Oliver's arm that was reaching for the glass kept in front of it, "It must be complementary!" He reasoned and Felicity ignored it, "This is not ours."

Lines appeared on the waiter's forehead and he turned around, looking towards the door that had the word staff written over it. People were peeking through the small glass circle in the middle of it, "But ma'am, I was told-"

"Oh my god!" A voice caught them by surprise and Felicity gaped, "What are you doing?" A guy approached them who looked like he was in his early twenties. His black hair was messed up and his grey eyes were full of confusion, his nose scrunching as line appeared on his forehead, "This is not my table! That is my table!" He almost shouted and Felicity shared a look with Oliver who was trying his very best to control his smile. "I swear you are going to mess up my proposal."

Felicity bit her lip, "Proposal?" The guy looked at her and nodded his head vigorously before picking up the wine glass that was kept in front of her, "This one has a ring in it and someone-"He glared at the waiter, "was close to messing this up." The person on the receiving side gulped nervously.

"You're proposing?" Felicity smiled at that, "The ring is in the glass-that is so romantic." She clapped her hands involuntarily and showed her pearly whites.

"Or she could choke and die." Oliver reasoned nonchalantly and Felicity glared at him harshly causing him to back track as he stared at the horrified face of the guy, "Which she would not. How could she?" He mumbled, "She won't."

"This is really sweet," Felicity smiled at the nervous lad, "I'm sure she would love it. It's amazing." She moved her arms in emphasis.

"It's not that good." Oliver stated, his eyebrow quirking, a small part of him feeling offended.

Felicity let out a sound that sounded like 'pfft' and Oliver gaped, "You're making that sound."

"What sound?"

"You don't agree with me."

Felicity laughed a little before she got up, "Don't even try and criticise his proposal. You proposed to me when I was _ill."_

"I wasn't prepared for it. It just came out. You know that! And you loved it."

Her voice turned soft, "Yeah."

"Besides, the second proposal was _amazing."_

Felicity chose to ignore him and got up before winking at the guy, "She'll definitely say yes." She was about to walk past him when he stopped, "Are you going to the restroom?"

"Yeah," Felicity mumbled, unsure about where he was leading the conversation, "Can you haul my girlfriend for a little while? She's a ginger." He described her and Felicity nodded instantly, "Of course."

"So, marriage huh?" Oliver started and the guy gulped, "Yeah."

"You're jumping in a well, buddy." He started before he decided to mess with the guy again, "And that is assuming that she won't choke and die."

"Oliver!"

Oliver tried to control his laughter when he heard his ex-wife sigh in exasperation.

"You guys have been together for how many years?"

"Oh, we're not." Oliver explained in a second, "We're divorced." He bit his lip, "Actually, I have a girlfriend." He nodded his head absentmindedly. The guy's eyes widened in disbelief, "Right. Sorry."

'It's okay." Oliver mumbled, "Now let's get that drink on the right table, shall we?"

…

**September 2009**

"_Here, drink this."_

_Felicity whimpered as Oliver lifted her head, as he placed the spoon in her mouth and Felicity's face scrunched up as the bitter taste hit her taste buds, "Yuck." She murmured, her voice hoarse. _

_Felicity placed her head back on the pillow as Oliver screwed the cap back on, "Feeling better?"_

"_No." Felicity groaned and closed her eyes._

_She was dying._

_Yup, dying._

_Her voice was hoarse, her nose was blocked, her cheeks were red which should be a good thing except it wasn't because she had fever._

_Luckily Oliver had come in earlier today when she didn't reply to his texts only to find her hogging her bed, tissues all around, covered with a blanket._

_He got her Raisa's special soup which was amazing, yup it tasted like heaven and then he had placed a wet cloth on her forehead just to get her temperature down._

_He was a sweetheart._

_But she was still cranky and still icky so she murmured a no._

_Being sick is pathetic._

"_Move that side." He mumbled and Felicity frowned, "No, I'll get you sick too."_

_Oliver ignored her and repeated his words as he took off his shoes and Felicity sighed before she felt his arms around her and Felicity wiggled a little before placing her head on chest, "I'm going to get you sick."_

"_I don't care," Oliver told her, kissing her forehead and she closed her eyes, "I like this though. Cuddling is fun." She murmured, "Getting sick is not fun though. But we get to cuddle, so I'm okay."_

"_Shh," Oliver whispered, shushing her, "You need rest. We have Diggle and Lyla's wedding to attend this weekend. You don't want to be sick when that happens, right?"_

_Felicity's eyes almost popped out of skull, "Wedding." She muttered, her voice cracking, "We have to go to a wedding. I haven't even gotten them a gift." She looked up at Oliver who smiled a little, "Yeah, for that you need to get well soon."_

_Felicity wiggled a little and placed her arm across Oliver's stomach, "We have to get them a gift."_

"_Get well soon, first." Oliver laughed, "Look at me," Felicity did so and Oliver smirked, "I'm getting fit day by day," And Felicity let out a hoarse chuckle and she patted her hand that was lying on his stomach, "I can see that."_

"_And you're getting fat day by day."_

_Felicity gasped at that and whacked him across his stomach while he chuckled, "I'm sick, okay?"_

"_That is why you know," Oliver grinned, "You're spreading like an omelette."_

_Felicity pushed him off the bed and he landed up on the floor with a thump, his chuckle ricocheting across her bedroom, "Get out." Felicity huffed and Oliver continued laughing but when he didn't get a chuckle from his girlfriend, he frowned._

"_Oh come on, "Oliver got on his knees, "I was joking."_

"_Pathetic." Felicity started, "I'm not fat!" She tried to hit him but he dodged it last minute. "You're such an asshole." She sniffed._

_Oh god, he really had pissed her off._

_She was pulling the asshole card._

"_You're not fat," Oliver crawled on his knees, "Come on, Felicity." _

_Felicity didn't look at him._

"_Fe-li-ci-ty."_

_She turned around._

_Oliver huffed, "I was joking. Come on, I love you, you know that! You're not fat. You're beautiful Heck, I even got you a wedding ring this afternoon. What else-" His voice trailed off and Felicity turned her body around, her eyes widening behind her glasses as she sniffed._

_What?_

_Wait, what?_

"_Ring?"_

_Oliver bit his lip and he closed his eyes tightly before opening them, "Marry me?"_

"_What?" Felicity almost shrieked, "You're proposing to me now!" She flung her pillow at him, "Oliver! I'm sick!"_

"_It just came out!" Oliver defended, "I had plans too, okay? You make me nervous."_

_Felicity huffed, "Yeah right." She whimpered, "I can't even cry happily! I'm ill God dammit!" She picked out a tissue from the box kept on the side table and sniffed._

_Oliver took out a blue velvet box and Felicity tilted her head sideways, "Felicity Smoak, will you marry me?"_

_God, he was so unprepared._

_Felicity looked at him as tears collected in her eyes, "Yes, you fool."_

_She loved him._

_Of course, she would marry him._

_It's been eight months since they have been dating._

_Almost two years since they have known each other._

_And she wasn't sure about anything more._

_Who do you see beside you in the next ten years?_

_It was him._

_He was her future._

_And she had no shred of doubt about that._

_Oliver grinned a little before taking out the ring and Felicity moved her hand forward. He placed it in her ring finger and Felicity coughed a little before speaking, "Is that a wedding ring?"_

"_Yeah," Oliver rubbed an imaginary kink behind his neck, "I was thinking that we can go shopping for an engagement ring, later on. Because they were a lot of choices and I got confused and Tommy was no help either-"_

_He was such a dork._

"_Wedding ring?"_

"_We'll go for an engagement ring shopping though! Buy whatever you find perfect."_

_Her adorable dork._

"_I wish I could kiss you right now," Felicity mumbled, a small smile on her face and she lied down on her bed, her back against the mattress. Oliver smiled at that, "Yeah?"_

_Oliver lied down beside her and Felicity squinted her eyes to read the text that was written on the ring._

_Forever Yours._

"_I really love you, you know?" She kissed his cheek before she hugged him tightly, her cheek landing on his chest._

"_I love you too," He grinned at her, "I can propose again you know?"_

"_No." Felicity said all of sudden surprising him, "It's perfect." She looked at her ring again before looking at Oliver, "It's perfect."_

"_You sure?"_

_She looked at him, "I'm sure." She said softly._

_She had everything she needed._

_It was a weird proposal but it was definitely precious._

"_It's perfect."_

"_Yeah?" He smiled at her._

"_Yeah," She smiled before closing her eyes and hugging him._

_It might not be the best proposal but it definitely was precious._

_A sick girlfriend and a wedding ring._

_And a really loving boyfriend._

_Fiancé._

_Oh, it was definitely precious._

…

Felicity sighed as she got comfortable on her seat after unbuckling the seatbelt. The guy who was sitting beside her had dropped down at Gotham apparently and she could finally enjoy her movie properly without any disturbance. She reclined the seat completely, reaching for the blanket that she had asked for at the beginning of this flight. The headphones were in place and her heels had been discarded. She leaned her head on the pillow, enjoying the film 'The Amazing Spider Man' that she had left in the middle.

Engrossed in the movie, she didn't realize that Oliver had gotten up from his seat until a soft press on her shoulder grabbed her attention. Removing one side of the headphone, she heard Oliver speak, "Is someone sitting there?" He pointed towards the seat right beside her and Felicity frowned and then she shook her head.

Why did he want to sit there?

Wasn't this one of the many reasons of why she didn't want a private plane, so they are not in each other's vicinity?

Oliver smiled a little at that and Felicity had to lift the headphones, causing him to bend a little to move under the wire connecting them to the small screen.

Felicity didn't realize how she had smiled involuntarily while watching him get comfortable on the seat.

She didn't realize when she succumbed to sleep while watching the film.

But she certainly did realize and recognize the hand that had brushed her cheek for a second, had taken off her glasses and then had pulled the blanket over her before the darkness hit her.

Yeah, she recognized that.

She recognized him.

…

Felicity watched Oliver nod his head as he talked to Gerry and heaved a sigh of relief. They had decided that they would not be travelling with their assistants because two CEOs were enough. They were two of them. They surely could handle this.

The clock had struck eight a few minutes ago and Felicity bit her lip as her gazed fixed itself at the entrance of the restaurant of the hotel they were staying in. She sighed, crossing her legs as she sat on the leather ottoman waiting for Ted Kord to pop up any minute. She honestly would have ordered a wine but she felt it would be kinda rude to do so before Ted arrived.

"Everything went well," Oliver started as he got comfortable on the leather seat too, "Except Isabel Rochev. She freaked out."

Felicity cringed a little, "I'm glad I wasn't there to witness it. You know the other day she was looking at me like-"Her words got caught in her throat when she saw guy who probably was in his early thirties. He was wearing a grey suit and holding a briefcase. And now that Felicity noticed, he was totally _rocking _the suit. His brown eyes were wide in anticipation, his brown hair combed neatly and he flashed his pearly whites as he shook hands with Oliver, "Ted Kord." He introduced himself and Oliver stood up to shake his hand, "Oliver Queen."

Ted turned towards Felicity who moved her hand towards him, "Felicity Smoak." He tilted his head sideways, "I know, Walter talked a lot about you both." He smiled, "I just didn't imagine..." His gaze trailed towards Felicity, "Imagine what?"

"Imagine you being so beautiful." Felicity was taken aback for a second before she pulled her hand away. Her cheeks turned red but she maintained her composure, "You're late."

"Yeah," Ted started, sharing a look with Oliver, "Sorry about that. Traffic is no one's friend." He tried to laugh a little and Oliver simply glared at him causing him to stop chuckling, "Right. Business?"

Felicity looked at Oliver before opening the laptop bag and taking out the files and laptop.

Business it was.

…

**November 2009**

_Frankly Felicity should have realized what it was._

_The two of them were in a park where Oliver had organized a dinner for just the two them. They were right underneath the stars, the yellow lights that were on the trees were illuminating the park. Two glasses of champagne were placed on the table and some pretty amazing food it. The dinner was amazing and Felicity had been grinning like a fool the entire time._

_It was perfect._

_Oliver moved his hand forward and captured hers and Felicity looked up. He looked really handsome in business suit. Usually on their dates, they are dressed pretty causally but today Oliver had told her to dress formally._

_See? So many hints._

_She should have figured it out._

"_Felicity Smoak," Oliver began, "I love you." The woman in question smiled, "You are my soul mate. I knew it from the moment we met that we were a perfect fit." Felicity blushed but didn't say anything._

_She did have an idea where this conversation was heading._

"_The best thing-"Oliver paused, his forehead wrinkling, "The best thing in this world is you and you're my best friend. We can-" He groaned, "We can-"_

_Felicity chuckled._

_He raised his finger in the air and took out a piece of paper from his pocket. Felicity giggled when he let go of her hand and instead placed it right under her chin, "Dammit, I mixed the first two lines." He frowned before looking at Felicity, "The best thing about me is you." He looked at her and gulped when Felicity nodded, "We can weather..?"_

_Great, he could not even understand his own handwriting._

_Felicity dissolved into peals of laughter and Oliver narrowed his eyes, throwing the piece of paper on the table, "Very funny, isn't it?"_

_Felicity didn't say a word and she began reading before frowning, "Oliver, you're writing is getting worse day by day." She mused and Oliver huffed, "You know how long did I search on internet?"_

_Felicity squinted her eyes as she read, "We can weather any storm. With you I am never..alone?" She frowned, "We are mea- this is too hard." She laughed._

"_Ha ha ha." Oliver glared at her before letting out his signature breathy laugh. "But this is really sweet, Oliver. Despite the end part," She chuckled and Oliver sighed before raising his finger in the air. "This is-"_

_Oliver walked towards her and got down on his knee before holding her left hand, "Felicity Smoak. The first time, I saw you I remember thinking that you were beautiful person and then you hit me with a pan. But what I didn't know that it was a start of something," Felicity bit her lip, "You have been with me through everything. You've seen my worst and you've seen my best and you accept me and love me. So, I never want to let go of this love. I want to wake up to hearing you sing in the shower. To you being all cranky until you get cup of coffee. You running around the entire house because you can't find your favourite pair of pyjamas, I want to wake up with you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. So, Felicity Meghan Smoak, will you marry me?"_

_Felicity laughed through her tears, "I am already wearing the ring." She raised her left hand, "Yes."_

_Oliver took a deep breath and Felicity launched herself at him. Hugging him tightly, she whispered in his ear, "I told you I don't need anything else."_

"_I just wanted it to be perfect." Oliver murmured, hugging her back and Felicity pulled away. The two of them were on their knees and the female grinned, "It was. It is." She grinned brightly, "It's perfect." She placed her hand on his cheek._

_She had him._

_That was all she needed._

"_This was better than internet, wasn't it?"_

"_Way better." Felicity laughed before kissing him._

_This was perfect._

…

Oliver and Felicity were walking side by side as they headed towards their respective rooms that happened to be opposite to each other. Awkward silence was reigning amongst them. While Felicity just wanted to reach her room, Oliver was contemplating whether he should talk to Felicity or not. This was his last chance. They had a twelve pm flight tomorrow, and this was the only alone time he would get with her.

Should he go for it?

Felicity bit her lip before speaking, "It went well, didn't it?"

"Yeah," Oliver nodded his head, "It did. I'm glad I agreed to this." Felicity shot him a smug smile and he laughed it off.

Two seconds later they approached their rooms and the two of them exchanged a look, mumbling a quiet 'good night' to each other, they headed towards their room.

Well, Felicity did.

Oliver stood right there, the card key of his room in his hand as he took a deep breathe. Sighing to himself, he closed his eyes.

This was the only chance he had.

He turned around, raising his fist to knock at Felicity's door and she opened the door a second later, her blonde head peeking out, her hair in a disarray because she had opened them mere seconds ago, "May I come in?" He murmured and Felicity almost contemplated shutting the door because why did he want to come in?

She had seen movies and she certainly wasn't hoping for anything.

But then again, what would happen?

She sighed as she opened the door allowing him in, "We need to talk."

His words were serious and a sudden realization dawned on Felicity and she crossed her arms, mentally telling herself to be strong and to face whatever was coming ahead of it.

It was about time, wasn't it?

**A/N**

**That is it.**

**Hope you guys liked it! **

**Please ignore the mistakes.**

**I love you all.**

**And please read the messages above regarding the time schedule.**

**It's a two way street :p **

**LUVYA ALL X**

**Next Update Timeline : Will be update before June 16 x **

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**Toodles x **

**Srishti :')**


	16. Chapter Fifteen : Revelations

**So, hey guys.**

**I'm so thrilled by the response that I'm receiving and the amount of support you guys showed for me regarding the whole time thing.**

**I love you all.**

**Now, I usually would thank people-every single one of you but I need to deliver this chapter ASAP and then maybe go to sleep.**

**So, I'll thank each one of you in the next chapter, alright?**

**Just to be clear, I love every single one of you.**

**Not betaed.**

**Not even read once.**

**Will be betaed later on by Kamaza and if I've made mistakes, ignore please? Or maybe you could tell them to me politely.**

**Now, I am not really proud of this chapter. So, I hope you guys like it and well, definitely way more than I do.**

**I'll thank everybody in the next chapter :D And response too, oh lord!**

**I have a question from Skye999 (don't worry babe, I will answer)**

**And I have to talk to all of you, too.**

**In the next chapter definitely x**

**Thank you x**

**I love you all **

**I hope you like this chapter more than I do. Haha :D**

**Word Count : 12456**

**Disclaimer : I don't own Arrow**

"**Where there is no trust, there is no love." – Unknown**

**Chapter Fifteen : Revelations**

To say that Felicity was nervous would be an understatement.

To say that she wasn't ready would be an understatement as well.

Ever since, she had come to back Starling, she had thought about confronting her fears and she had. She had seen Conner, had also managed to face her former family and she was steps away from her closure.

She needed closure.

Which is why she didn't say a word as he stepped beside. Because in all honesty, even she wanted answers.

Why did he have to leave her?

Why did he cheat?

She might have pushed him away and she had admitted it to herself that it was she who was at fault at that and she had made efforts to fix their relationship.

Except he had rebuked them.

Post breakup, a small part of her, agreed with him. The therapy sessions were done, she was making progress and she was absorbing reality but she still hadn't reached the end of it. And Oliver had made her see it.

Despite everything, she would always be Conner's _murderer._

It took a long while to get in touch with reality. When she had shifted to Central City, she had _lost _herself completely. When her baby died, she had lost herself but when Oliver left her she had lost herself _completely._

She wasn't Felicity _Queen._

She was Felicity _Smoak._

Divorced.

Childless.

The thought made her curl up in a ball and cry.

She had lost everything.

Oliver.

_Conner._

…

**March 2012**

_Felicity smiled at the cashier before picking up the bag full of groceries with her right hand. Her left arm was underneath Conner's bum, supporting the one year old who jiggling the small packet of skillets that she had gotten. He wiggled it right in front of Felicity's face which made her chuckle. _

"_Bye," The cashier, who was a girl in her early twenties waved her hand at Conner and Felicity left shoulder forward so that Conner could see her, "Say bye, Conner." She told him and he blinked at her before wiggling the brown skittles packet in the air which made a lot of noise. The cashier whose name was Katelyn, now that Felicity saw her name tag laughed, "You like skittles?"_

"_He loves skittles." Felicity stated before turning her gaze towards her son, "You love skittles, don't you?" She retorted softly and Conner cheered, "Skit!" He waved the packet again and Felicity bumped her forehead against his lightly, "Yeah."_

"_You have a really beautiful baby."_

"_Thank you," Felicity smiled, "Now say bye Conner." The guy in question didn't do anything for the next two seconds and Felicity had to murmur bye again so that he gets it. Oliver and she had taught him that. The baby looked at the cashier lady before moving his hand in the air and smiling. The cashier laughed before waving goodbye and Felicity mumbled a thank you before heading out of the store. It was good that there wasn't a line behind her. _

_She pressed the button on her car key before opening the door of her car. Opening the door of the back seat, she kept the grocery bag down and then closed it. She opened the front door before getting inside her car. She placed Conner on the car seat and then buckled him. He squealed a little and Felicity ran her fingers on his stomach causing him to burst into giggles, moving his skittles back and forth. She buckled a seat belt around him and then proceeded to close the door of her car._

_Looking at Conner once again before she started the car, she bit back a groan as she saw him chewing on his packet, a small end of it now torn open. He could swallow a candy for all she knew._

"_Conner," She chastised lightly before taking away the packet causing the baby to whine loudly. She took the packet away before reaching down and wiping the patch of drool on his mouth, "How many times have I told you not to chew on it?" She talked to him as if he could understand her and he squirmed in protest. He was still too little to eat skittles and Felicity usually just handed him the packet because he found it too fascinating. To top it all, Conner recognized the brand and cribbed until he got it. But Felicity had made sure he never ate it. _

_It was weird but he was a baby after all._

_Felicity turned her head around to fetch him another packet and Conner whined loudly, moving his open palm and hitting Felicity's golden hair, "Mama!"_

"_One second baby," Felicity murmured before taking out another pack of skittles and then handing it over to him, "No chewing alright?" She waved the packet and his blue eyes brightened as she handed it him._

_The car revved as she started driving making sure to turn on the radio. Conner really loved music. And as if on cue, the little guy had started clapping. He had been doing this since the very beginning. Nobody had to teach him that. He always had this reaction to music. Felicity laughed watching him babble incoherent things and clapping his hands._

_She frowned a little as she watched a bike zoom past her. The guy really seemed in a hurry, his speed way past the speed limit. She ignored it, focusing on the road instead. Her frown deepened when she realized that they were more guys behind her car, on their bikes, their speed way past the limit. A chorus of laughter reached her ears and she realized they were racing._

_Her hand curled around the steering wheel. She looked down at Conner who was giggling happily and Felicity breathed. _

_Maybe she was thinking too much._

_The next second, she felt something ram the back of her car and she lurched forward, her hand instinctively moving in front of Conner who squealed loudly. Thankfully, the seat belts prevented them from moving forward and she cursed under her breath. She was about to stop her car at one side, wanting to thrash some sense in those teenagers but the next second, another bike hit the end of her car causing her to skid._

_The car moved haphazardly and Felicity kept moving the steering wheel hastily. Her eyes widened when she saw her car heading towards a street light. She gasped before throwing herself over Conner and the front corner of the car hit the street light, the bumper coming off before the car flipped. Shards of glass were everywhere and the hood was crushed, smoke escaping through it._

_Dread._

_That was all Felicity could feel in that moment._

_Conner was in the car with her._

_The pain hit her in various places and the metallic taste in her mouth became prominent with every second and she realized her glasses were cracked. A shrill cry echoed and she whimpered, her hands moving so she could feel Conner._

_He needed to be alright._

_He had to be alright._

_She couldn't lose him._

_Except, she did._

….

Oliver closed his eyes for a second before opening them. The words died in his throat and he gave it a thought for a split second before talking.

Now or never.

"Did you cheat on me with Palmer?"

Okay, Felicity did _not _expect that.

"I'm sorry?"

"Did you or did you not cheat on me with Palmer?"

She frowned, the word 'No' dying on her lips when she saw his expression. "You…you thought I cheated on you with Ray?" Her voice wavered and suddenly Oliver felt his knees buckling, "You did not?"

"You thought… I _cheated?" _Felicity pointed towards herself and her mouth parted open in surprise, "I would have never cheated on you, Oliver! It was you who cheated on me!" She said vigorously, her teeth gritting and a second later, her voice softened, "How could even think that?"

It took her ten seconds to put two and two together and a strangled sob escaped her lips.

He thought she _cheated._

_Cheated._

"Is..is that why you cheated?" She muttered out as she sat on her couch, she was afraid her legs would give out any minute, "You thought that I had cheated."

Oliver had no response. Honestly, in that moment he didn't know how to say anything. He had been wrong about everything. This was something that he had been afraid of since the very beginning.

Realizing that it was _him _that ruined their relationship.

_Not her._

_Him._

_And he lost the love of his life…just like that._

"Care to tell me how the fuck did you reach that conclusion?!" Oliver cringed when he heard Felicity swore and he tried to blubber out a response.

And after the realization, anger hit.

He was angry at himself for jumping to conclusions. Angry at her for hiding things. Angry at his mom for getting the divorce papers. Angry at God because he lost Conner.

_He was furious._

"How could I not?" Oliver chuckled hoarsely, "How could I not? It was right in front of eyes!" He bellowed all of a sudden, standing up and Felicity glared at him through her tears. She wasn't going to cry. No she won't even shed a tear for _him. _"This makes no sense."

Oliver closed his eyes and pressed the palm of his hands against them.

Fuck.

How in the world could he be wrong?

It was right in front of his eyes.

He remembered.

But she was speaking the _truth._

And he knew it was the truth.

_The realization was painful._

Felicity saw red. This was too much. Yes, she wanted answers. But this confrontation was nothing like she had predicted and her hands fisted as a lone tear fell down her eye. Wiping it hastily, she reached for the marble turtle lying on the side table and flung it towards him, "I'm lying?! You're such a fucking asshole!"

Oliver ducked last minute, the turtle landing at the other end of the room. "Felicity!"

"You thought I cheated on you?!" She got up from the couch, her hands flaying before she looked around, trying to look for another thing to hit him with and growled in frustration when she couldn't find anything. She closed her eyes tightly, tears trying to fight the barriers she had created.

"It was right in front of my eyes, Goddamit!" Oliver raised his hands in the air, "You can't blame me! Every time something happened you turned to fucking Palmer! What was I supposed to believe?!"

"That's because my _husband _walked out on me! You were seeking comfort from your family, Oliver!" She shouted as she turned towards him. Her hands landed on her sides with a thump and she tilted her head sideways, her face coiling up in pain, "You were with them. You had Laurel who was your ex-girlfriend comforting you but I trusted you." She whimpered, "I trusted you. Why couldn't you?"

"Why didn't you?"

Why didn't he?

They were many a times in the past he had thought about talking to Felicity. He had tried talking to her in tits and bits but they never had a full-fledged conversation.

Why didn't they?

Why didn't he trust her?

"I-" Oliver started but he didn't know what to say. He sighed to himself, "I saw things, Felicity. And I put two and-" He paused, turning his gaze away, "two together. It just happened. I saw you with him discussing about going to Central City, you had his number on your phone by another name Felicity." The lady in question frowned, "You were hiding something, _what was I supposed to believe?"_

What was he supposed to believe really?

How could everything go so wrong?

"What?"

"Everything made sense." Oliver murmured before getting down on his knees and sitting on the floor. Leaning his back against the couch, he murmured, "How?"

"I don't know Oliver," Felicity mumbled who was mirroring Oliver's position, sitting at the other end, "How could you?"

_How could you?_

….

**April 2012**

_It had been five weeks since Conner's death and situation had somehow gotten better. Felicity still mourned and so did Oliver and the others but they were finding comfort in each other. _

_Felicity shot Oliver a grateful smile as he got her a cup of coffee. Taking a sip of the beverage, she sighed a little as she got comfortable on the bench. They were sitting on the terrace of the Queen Mansion because the weather was 'awesome' as Thea had eloquently quoted it and it was. Felicity was pretty sure that it would rain any minute. _

_She felt Oliver's arms around her waist from behind before he dropped a kiss on her shoulder, "The weather is good, isn't it?"_

_In normal situations, they would have sat in the Queen's Garden but ever since Conner's grave lay there, Felicity refused. She hadn't even seen him once since the day of his funeral._

_It was too painful._

"_Felicity?"_

_Huh?" She mumbled, not really aware of what he was talking out and Oliver huffed before pressing his cheek against hers, his scruff pinching her skin ever so slightly, "It's going to be alright, Felicity."_

"_Is it? Will it ever be?" _

"_We're trying, aren't we?" Oliver mumbled and Felicity smiled a little, "Yeah, we're trying."_

"_Come on," Oliver held her before pulling her towards him, "Let's go."_

"_Where?" _

"_Somewhere," Oliver grinned cheekily before dragging her down the stairs. _

_Thea watched the two of them coming down the stairs and frowned, "Where are you guys going?" She asked as she stood up from the settee she was sitting on, "Somewhere." Felicity echoed Oliver's response before placing her empty coffee mug on the table. _

"_I'll join you guys too!" Thea looked at Oliver for approval who nodded his head, his eyes moving towards Felicity and then towards his sister who realized he was up to something but didn't say a word._

_The three of them stepped outside the mansion and Felicity started to make her way towards the front gate when Oliver stopped her and instead started dragging her the way. Thea followed suit, although she did need to rack her brain in thinking about what her brother was up to._

_Oliver stopped all of a sudden and Felicity looked at him before turning towards the sight in front of them, "Let's go for a drive."_

_No._

_No._

_Felicity started shaking her head almost instantly. "No, no," She shook her head hastily, "Not a car."_

_No cars._

_The last time she was in a car, she lost Conner._

_This time, she could lose Oliver. _

_No._

_Absolutely not._

_The dreadful incident kept playing in her mind all over again and she whimpered, holding onto Oliver's Henley, "No, we won't drive. We can't drive." She mumbled, "Don't-" She looked at Oliver who placed his hands on her shoulders, "Shh." He mumbled and Felicity shook her head, "No, Oliver-you don't know! We lost Conner this way, we could-"_

"_Shhh." Oliver shushed her before cupping her face, "We're not going in a car, okay?" Felicity hugged him and Oliver's arms tightened around her, "We're not going in a car."_

_Felicity nodded against his chest and closed her eyes, "Not a car."_

_Thea stood right behind Felicity, her eyes meeting her brother's who smiled at her, "What?" He mouthed to her, trying not to show his weakness. Thea tilted her head sideways as she watched the two, her lower lip tucked between her teeth as she fought her tears._

_Just then the clouds thundered and the next second, torrential downpour began._

_Good._

_Maybe they could fool each other into believing that the water dripping down their face were raindrops rather than tears._

….

_It all went downhill from there._

_Felicity usually stayed cooped up in her room or in Conner's nursery and refused to talk to anyone. Oliver understood. She was dealing with the grief but even he had a saturation point. She had finally managed to get past some of it but now she was back to square one._

_And Oliver was frustrated._

"_Felicity!" Oliver's voice rose ever so slightly when Felicity didn't respond to him and she flinched for a second, "What?"_

"_Get out of your bed." He told her simply and Felicity frowned, "What?"_

"_Get out, okay?" He said before fixing his tie in front of the mirror, "I'll drop you off at QC while going to Verdant."_

_Felicity shrugged before hugging her knees, "I don't travel in cars."_

"_We'll go on my bike."_

"_With a business suit. Talk about fashion trends," She closed her eyes._

"_We're going on my bike."_

"_But I don't want to go."_

"_Dammit Felicity!" Oliver shouted all of a sudden and before she knew it, he was sitting right in front of her, "Conner died, alright? We can't get him back. Stop living in the past! We have to focus on the present. Don't ruin your present for something that cannot happen. He was my son too. I miss him so much," His voice softened, "But he is gone. And nothing can change it."_

_Felicity's eyes filled with tears and she shook her head hastily. "You don't get it. I don't deserve all of this. It's my fault he is dead. I don't deserve the sympathy. I don't deserve to live when he didn't-"_

_Oliver pulled her closer, his hands resting on her arms, "What if it was me in the car that day?"_

"_Wha..what?"_

"_What if I was the one who was driving that day? Would you still blame me for Conner's death?"_

"_Of course not." She shook her head hastily and she knew where Oliver was going with this. _

_She knew that she wouldn't blame Oliver._

_And she knew that no one was blaming her._

_But they should._

_It was her conscience that was eating her on the inside._

_If she hadn't gone to that store, her baby would still be alive giggling happily._

_But all that graced her ears was silence._

_Dreadful silence._

….

"What made you think that?" Felicity whispered softly, moving her head so that it laid on the couch, "What made you think that I was cheating on you with Ray? You knew he was like a brother to me. He has a wife for God sake,"

"I didn't know about the wife part." Oliver bit out and Felicity chuckled dryly, "Courtney came to our wedding Oliver."

"I knew that name was familiar,"

"Still doesn't change the fact that you didn't trust me, _asshole."_

"Felicity, I-" Oliver started but Felicity glared at him, her eyes glossy, "Just start speaking. I'm not in mood for a heart to heart, Oliver."

Oliver closed his eyes and started speaking.

…

**April 2012**

_Oliver had left._

_To be honest, Felicity had it coming. She had been pushing him away for quite a while and sooner or later, he had to crack. `_

_But it didn't mean it had to less._

_Why is that when you lose something you realize how important they were?_

_A small part of her knew, she didn't deserve him after what she did. But a large part of her wanted him by her side. _

_She sniffed before she dialled his number. She had been staying at their house for the past few days while Oliver stayed at the mansion. It was Felicity's decision because she felt like she was being a burden of all of them and didn't want to trouble them further. Robert and Moira had protested a lot but she didn't listen to him. _

_She just wanted to get away from the mansion where his grave lay._

_And most of Conner's memories were there._

_She thought Oliver would come along with her too._

_Except he didn't._

_He had dropped her off before heading towards Tommy's loft where he was staying._

_Apparently, no one wanted to stay at the mansion._

_It wasn't any different though. Thea had been staying here for the past few days and everyone visited her occasionally. Lyla had wanted to stay too but backed out last minute (Felicity had a nagging feeling it was because she didn't want her to feel sad with Sara being there) Carly and Sara had offered to stay too. Heck, her mom was on her way back to Starling for the second time since the funeral but she refused. Everyone offered to stay. _

_Except him._

_He didn't._

_He wasn't here._

_And it hurt._

_Pressing the phone against her ear, she waited anxiously for him to pick up his phone. Her breath hitched when someone did pick up but her hope deflated when it was Tommy on the other end telling her that Oliver was busy and he wasn't available at the moment._

"_He didn't answer?" Thea asked her._

"_He didn't."_

…

"I used to call you every day," She mumbled, her eyes turning towards the floor.

"I used to wait for your call every day," Oliver admitted, "I used to stare at the phone every day waiting for call and think that whether I should pick it up or not. I didn't want to see you like that Felicity," He murmured, turning towards her and he watched Felicity bite her lip, "I didn't. And I also wanted you to feel the same way I as feeling. I lost him too, Felicity."

Oliver waited for Felicity's response.

She didn't say anything.

…

**April 2012**

"_You shouldn't avoid her calls," Tommy spoke and Oliver looked up from his seat on his couch, "I know." He countered before keeping his phone back on the table._

"_You shouldn't have done that." Diggle joined in the conversation, "This is not the answer to your problem, Oliver. You're supposed to help her through this. We all are supposed to."_

"_She is being taken care of," Oliver muttered, "I call home to check on her every day. But I can't be there, Digg." He bit his lip, "You haven't seen the look in her eyes the way I have. I can't. Not now, at least."_

"_Oliver, you-"_

"_Dammit! Why can't people realize I lost my son too?! And at this point I feel, I've lost my wife too!" The aggravation kicked in last minute and he stood up, "This isn't easy on me but-but I need time. I'm allowed to grieve as well." He glared at them, "Don't teach me anything." He walked past the two of them, making a beeline towards his room._

_Sighing to himself, he leaned against the wall of his room and wiped away the moisture in his eyes with the palm of his hands. _

_How were they supposed to fix all of this?_

…

"Then Palmer showed up at your place and your calls stopped." Oliver's fingers twitched, "Your calls stopped."

"You never answered them anyway," Felicity chuckled dryly, "And Ray helped me, Oliver. He wanted us to get back together. Not calling you was something that we decided because that clearly wasn't the answer. I wanted to fix it," She fidgeted in her position, "I wanted to fix us."

"With Palmer."

He shouldn't have said it but he couldn't help it.

"Yes." Felicity declared, "He's my best friend, Oliver. I don't think I need to explain myself anyway." She turned her face away the last minute and Oliver sighed.

They were best friends. Period.

Yeah, Oliver got to that realization hours ago.

…

**April 2012**

_Oliver bit his lip as we waited anxiously for Felicity to pick up her phone._

_Is this how she felt when he didn't answer her?_

_It had been three days since Felicity hadn't called him. The fingers of his right hand twitched, his left foot moving up and down as he waited for something._

_Anything._

_Relief washed him over when someone did pick up the phone from the other end and his mouth parted open, words ready on his mouth when –_

"_Oliver! Hey."_

"_Ray?" He frowned, pressing his ear against his phone, "Where is Felicity?"_

"_Uh, she is a bit busy at the moment." Ray started, "I'll make sure she calls you in one hour?"_

"_Su..sure?" Oliver was flustered. _

"_Yeah, so how are y-"_

_Oliver hung up._

_What the hell was Felicity doing with Ray?_

_When did he come to Starling anyway?_

…

"I was with my psychiatrist, Oliver." Felicity mumbled, still not looking at him. "Ray had me take sessions."

"What?" He looked surprised and Felicity let out a breathy chuckle, "When he came to Starling. He saw me sulking and he slapped me." She looked at him, "Then he told me how I need to fix my relationship with you and needed to get my life back on track."

"I didn't know," Oliver started hastily, "I didn-I would have come."

"I came to tell you," She said, suddenly interested in the hem of the shirt she was wearing, "But I heard you talking to Laurel. You told her how you didn't want to see me that _way."_

"I didn't-"

"So, I decided it was better to not tell you about it. Not tell anyone about it. I didn't want to lose you. I didn't want to hurt you more than I already had." Her lips former a thin line, "I just wanted to make everything better."

Oliver bit his lip, "You should have told me."

"You should have trusted me."

"Felicity-"Oliver started, beginning to get up when Felicity raised her hand, "Just continue, Oliver."

Oliver bit his lip as he slumped against the couch. His thumb rubbed his first two fingers and he felt his heart burn.

He sighed before speaking again.

…

**April 2012**

_Things went well for the next few days at least._

_Felicity had finally talked to Oliver who had sighed in relief when that happened. _

_Yes, there was hope._

_Come to think of it, there's always hope._

_They just needed time to sort themselves out._

_Oliver knocked on Felicity's door, his hand holding the glass of red wine that he had bought on the way. His eyes flickered towards the words etched on the mahogany door._

_Oliver Queen and Felicity Queen._

_This was home._

_He grinned a little, waiting for her to open the door any minute. _

_Felicity opened the door, her eyes widening, "Oliver?" A ghost of a smile graced her face for second and she blinked, "What are you doing here?" She ran a hand through her hair, moving it aside._

"_I just-I just wanted to spend some time with you." He tilted his head sideways, "Is, is that okay..? I can come some other time." _

"_No, no!" Felicity shook her head almost instantly, "It's fine. Come on in." She moved aside, her eyes bright behind her glasses, "I mean, this is your home. Our home, so you can come here whenever you wish you like, not that I'm forcing you or anything." She rambled, "I mean, you're always welcome here. This is our home."_

_He entered the house, his grin widening ever so slightly. "You just missed Ray." She told him before settling down on her couch, "Ray?" Oliver situated himself right beside her, "He was here?"_

"_Yup." Felicity told him nonchalantly, "He hasn't left Starling yet?"_

_Felicity frowned, "No. You haven't even met him once, have you? He said he wanted to meet you."_

"_He did?" Oliver echoed and Felicity shoved him, "What's with the questions?" Her eyebrows rose in question before she caught the sight of the bottle in his hand. "Is that-" Felicity started and when Oliver nodded, she got up from her sofa, "I'll go get us two glasses."_

_Oliver hummed in reply before taking off his shoes. His thoughts were going wayward as he settled himself on his couch._

_Ray was here. _

_He wasn't living here. Oliver was pretty sure of that. When Thea had left this place-Felicity had made her leave because she had studies to focus on, she had made it a habit to visit this place daily. His dad also usually stopped by, so if he really was staying here, someone would have informed him. _

_It shouldn't be that big of an issue. He was good friends with Ray but then again, he didn't know what to think._

_Because for the first time he felt his heart burn at the thought of Ray and Felicity together._

_Was it just him or were they spending too much time with each other?_

_Just then Felicity's phone rang and Oliver looked towards the kitchen only to see her fidgeting with the glasses. He sighed before picking up her phone and frowned when he noticed an unfamiliar name on the screen._

_Courtney._

_Who was she? _

_Sliding his thumb across the screen, he placed the device near his ear, "Hello?"_

"_Felicity!" He heard Ray on the other end and frowned, "So, tomorrow is final, right? And we don't have to tell Oliver about this-"_

"_Oliver?"_

_Oliver looked up, his eyes meeting his wife's and she moved her hand forward, wanting to fetch her phone, "Who is it?"_

_His response died on his lips as he heard Ray mutter that they Oliver shouldn't know any of this. Felicity sat on the floor pressing her ear against the other side of her phone, wanting to listen before taking it from him and Oliver's mouth parted open, "I'll take that." She grinned a little, "Need to tell these people that I shouldn't be disturbed at the moment right?"_

_Oliver didn't say a word as he watched Felicity stand up and make a beeline towards the kitchen where she was picking out stuff that he was sure meant a movie night._

_Pressing the front of his hand against his jeans, he frowned._

_Why had Felicity saved Ray's name as Courtney on her phone?_

_Unless, she wanted to hide something_

_Hide what from Oliver?_

_His heart started beating faster as he stared at Felicity._

_What was she really hiding?_

….

"That is why I started linking Ray and you together. But that again was the therapy thing, wasn't it?"

"Yes."

"But I asked you if Ray had a girlfriend and you said no." Oliver put his point forward and Felicity who had her poker face on, trying not to show any emotion she muttered, "Because he didn't. They had broken up at that time. Courtney was there for me as a friend. I had told you about her multiple times, Oliver. You just never listened."

"No, I –"

"You just fucking assume."

….

**May 2012**

_Oliver sat with Carter Bowen much to his chagrin. It was a sheer coincidence-nasty twist of fate that he met him while he was here to buy Felicity's favourite milkshake and burger. He tapped his fingers on their table as he waited for someone to show up with his order and he hoped it was soon because he was about to bash his fucking face if he didn't stop talking about Conner. _

"_That baby could have been a model, you know. He was so pretty."_

_Oliver closed his eyes, "Bowen. Can you just stop talking about him? I know all I need to know about my son."_

_It was still painful._

_His son was an angel. He remembered the conversation he had with Felicity a few days ago. They were sitting in his nursery, Felicity's head on his shoulder and they had talked about him. His habits, his ramblings, everything about him._

_It also had dawned on Oliver how much Felicity had changed. She had blamed herself again but she had told him that she would get past it. She would try to get past this guilt and live because that was what Conner would want._

_Would have wanted._

_To top it all, he felt like some of the burden was off his shoulder when he cried in Felicity's arms and suddenly, in that moment the situation was reversed._

_It was good._

_And the conversation might have ended in tears but it was progress._

_Yeah, they were making progress._

"_I'm sorry," Carter apologized and started shaking his head, "I'm being insensitive."_

_You think?_

"_It's just that I've been quite stressed lately. My wife cheated on me."_

"_Yeah?" Oliver's eyebrows, his fingers entwining on the table top. Well, Oliver wasn't surprised. The leggy model he had married three months ago didn't really seem the commitment type._

"_Yeah, I found out recently."_

"_How did that happen?"_

"_Yeah, I caught her texting her lover," He air quoted the last word, "What about your wife?"_

"_I'm sorry?"_

"_Your wife? She just lost a child, Oliver," Carter started, "You sure..she is not," His voice turned a whisper, "Looking for comfort somewhere else?"_

_What the fuck._

_Oliver slammed his fist against the table as he stood up, "You know what, Carter? I've been really trying to hold myself back from punching you," He leaned forward, his teeth gnashing together, "And I'm this close." He brought the index finger of his right hand close to his thumb, "Mind your words about my wife."_

"_Hey," Carter raised his hands in surrender, "I love Felicity too but I'm just stating facts here, bud. Women going through grief try to look for another source of comfort. Well, since you..uh, left her."_

"_I didn't leave her."_

_Carter shrugged._

_Oliver rolled his eyes before taking off._

_Women going through grief may try to look for another source of comfort._

…

"Carter Bowen?!" Felicity shrieked before picking up another showpiece of marble kept on the side table right beside her, "What the fuck were you thinking?!"

"I know it was stupid!" Oliver let out, "And I stood up for you. Of course I trusted you Felicity." He muttered and Felicity scoffed, "I just..it had me thinking, alright?"

"What you should have done is talk to me."

"I know!" Oliver started, "Believe me, I know." He said softly, "It was stupid but-"

"You were stupid," Felicity mumbled, "Like that makes everything better." She sniffed a little getting comfortable in her position.

"Will you just hear me out?"

…

**May 2012**

_It was supposed to be a good day. _

_Oliver had somewhat of a realization in the past few weeks where he had deemed himself as a moronic fool who was thinking too much. _

_He was going to talk to Felicity._

_He trusted her and he was pretty sure nothing was fishy but he just needed to console himself. Diggle's words echoed in his head where he had told him that he should just have a chat with Felicity, of course he had asked him in a false pretext. Claiming that it was his friends that was having marital problems rather than one and John had given a pretty good answer. _

_To top it all, he would ask her if he could move in again. Yup, he still hadn't moved in. The conversation had always been left off, the words never escaping either of their lips. He usually spent some time with her before taking a leave. The first night he dropped by, Felicity had asked him to stay if he wanted to only to receive a kiss on her forehead before he left. They still had needed to fix things then._

_Now, the case was different._

_He got inside 'Frozen', a small smile on his lips as he asked for a tub of mint chip. Tonight, he was going to spend the night at her-their house and they will talk about everything. Plus, he would ask her if he could stay there again. _

_Tapping his foot anxiously, he waited for someone to hand him over a bag that would contain Felicity's favourite ice cream when-_

"_So, this is the place?" Oliver frowned when he heard a familiar voice. He caught Felicity walking towards him through his peripheral vision and he was about to turn when another set of footsteps echoed._

_Ray._

_Oliver reacted instantly, moving his feet sideways so that he was away from the 'two' yet could keep an eye on them._

"_Yup." He heard his wife mutter, "This place has the best ice creams ever." Felicity grinned before ordering. _

_Oliver frowned. Felicity had told him that she was going to meet Carly but here she was and the situation clearly was different. _

_What the fuck was going on?_

_A certain sense of dread filled the pit of his stomach and he almost growled when he watched Ray's hand land on Felicity's waist. _

_Did she lie again?_

_Women in grief try to look for another source of comfort. _

_He tried to coax himself again, he wanted to believe that whatever was happening was just a sheer coincidence. A mere twist of fate. He reached for his cell phone and called Felicity, making sure he was inconspicuous. _

"_Hello?"_

_His heart swelled when he saw a large grin form on her lips, "Hey." He answered back with a smile of his own, "Where are you?"_

"_Uh, Frozen." Felicity muttered, not sure where the conversation was heading._

_Oliver breathed a sigh of relief before closing his eyes._

_He was being stupid after all. Overthinking things again. He still would talk to her tonight, will clear some of the doubts that were still in his head. Asking about what she was 'hiding' but they had just won half of the battle without even realizing._

"_Alone?" He whispered._

"_With Ray." Felicity declared and Oliver smiled wider if that was even possible, "But I thought you were meeting Carly today?"_

_He could see Felicity's hesitation, "Yeah, I just met him on the way." _

_She was lying._

_A feeling that was a cross between betrayal and dread filled his heart and he fidgeted, "You sure? Is there…something you want to tell me?"_

"_No." He saw Felicity frown and then he realized that the first two fingers of her hand were crossed together, behind her back. She was lying._

"_Oh..okay." He could stutter out the very last minute and Felicity mumbled goodbye before the two of them hung up._

"_You still haven't told him?" He heard Ray ask._

"_No."_

_Oliver's heart broke in two._

_What in the world was going on with her? Since when did she become so secretive? He wanted answers but his heart told him, if he would actually discover the answers to them he would not be able to take them._

"_No, I want it to be a..." Oliver didn't hear anything further because he made a beeline towards the exit door, his anger reaching his boiling point. His teeth were gnashed together, his teeth clenched. Two more minutes here and if he was sure he would punch Palmer's fucking face._

_Meanwhile, Felicity tilted her head sideways as she watched a guy leave the parlour hastily, "Surprise." She told Ray, "Surprise. Candles, lights everything. Then I'm going to tell him about everything and besides, we aren't done with sessions yet. I just...i just wanted it to be perfect. I don't want to ruin us again, Ray. What if he leaves again?"_

_Unbeknownst to her, Oliver was really one step closer to leaving._

….

"You lied. I talked to Carly that day. You _lied."_

"I had a session, Oliver. You could have asked. _Asked. _Once. Once!" She shouted the last word on the top of her voice before bringing her hands towards her face, trying to hide it, "You never asked. Miscommunication leads to misunderstandings, Oliver." Her voice broke as she spoke the last sentence.

"You should have told me." He mumbled softly, his voice wavering, "You should have."

"I was afraid you'll leave again. Afraid you'll see the old Felicity and leave again," She closed her eyes, "But you left me anyway, didn't you?"

Somethings are just inevitable.

Just inevitable.

…

**May 2012**

_Oliver anxiously waited for the doctor to tell him anything. He remembered how scared he was when he found Felicity lying on the ground._

_It had only been two months since Conner's death and they were back in a hospital. _

_Hospital._

_Oliver could barely control his tears at bay. He never really realized how much he had come to hate this place. Coming to this place made him feel like he was one step closer to death._

_And he might lose Felicity the way he lost Conner._

_No._

_God won't be so cruel, would he? He wouldn't take Felicity away from him. Not after what he did to his baby._

_He wouldn't, would he? _

_He never really prayed. The first time he prayed or well, the first time after a long time he prayed was when he discovered that Felicity and Conner were in an accident. He could swore he had stopped breathing in that one second._

_He had lost half of his family._

_He wasn't about to lose the other half._

_He leaned against the chair, murmuring a prayer when he heard footsteps approaching him. He looked up only to see Ray staring at him and his fists clenched, "What are you doing here?" He sniped out, "I, uh, went to QC only to find out that she was here." He pointed towards the room and Oliver gritted his teeth. His family did not know of this and he did? _

"_What happe-"_

_The doctor decided to walk out the room Felicity was in before smiling at the two men, "She's fine. Just exhaustion."_

_Oliver heaved a sigh of relief at that, "Is she…is there anything we need to take care of?" His fingers twitched, he was really worried about her._

_The doctor nodded a little, "You're the husband, right?" Oliver nodded, "And you?"_

"_I'm her best friend." Ray spoke and the doctor nodded his head in acknowledgement. _

"_She seems to be really tired. How many hours does she sleep in a day?"_

"_Five to six maybe," Before Oliver could even open his mouth Ray had answered. He knew this because her psychiatrist had talked to him to and he was aware about these little things._

_So was Oliver._

_After all, he was her husband._

"_She needs more rest. Is she on any medications? Maybe it could be a side effect to one."_

"_No." Oliver started but Ray shook his head, "She was on antidepressants for a little while. Now she has stopped taking it."_

_Oliver gaped._

_He never knew any of it. She was on antidepressants? A small part of him was burning with jealousy, noticing the fact that how Palmer knew her more than him while the other part of him was filled up with concern for her._

_But how come Felicity didn't tell him? _

_How come…Palmer knew?_

_Like he wasn't already feeling afraid about the fact that Felicity might be cheating._

"_And body weaknesses?"_

"_She gets dehydrated easily."_

_Oliver didn't know that either._

_Is there anything about Felicity that Ray didn't know?_

_He was her husband and Ray? He was just her best friend. Wasn't he supposed to know more about this?_

_How did he not?_

_Or better yet, how come Ray did?_

_It was a random moment but in that particular moment Oliver Queen had never felt more inferior to Ray Palmer._

_How he should have been her husband and how Oliver should…never have been a part of it._

_The doctor nodded, "I'll write her a prescription accordingly. You both can meet her now."_

_Oliver huffed before taking a step back._

"_You should go first." Ray uttered and Oliver laughed a little, his chuckle was void of emotion before patting his shoulder and turning around, "You go. Seems like you know her better than me anyway."_

….

"I thought I lost you," Oliver muttered, "But I still needed answers so I thought I would not jump to conclusions."

Felicity snorted through her tears.

"But you did."

_He did._

….

**May 2012**

_Oliver smiled a little as he got out of Verdant. Felicity had asked him to meet her at their place tomorrow for a date. (Oliver never really had asked her about the moving in part) His heart had soared in his chest at the thought of it. The previous instances were still crisp in his mind but he was sure there was a plausible explanation to it._

_He trusted Felicity._

_Come to think of it, he had lost most of his trust and had it not been her proposal to him, nothing would have restored it. _

_There was hope._

_She was his hope._

_Stepping out of his club, he headed towards his bike when he fidgeted through the pocket of jeans looking for his keys ad groaned when he realized he had left them back at the club._

_Making an about turn, he climbed up the three stairs that led him to his club. Entering the club, he made a beeline towards the corner of the bar, where Felicity and he were talking minutes ago. Picking up his keys that were lying on it, he started to make his way back to his bike._

_Voices reached his ear and he turned his head right finding himself staring at Felicity and Ray. His feet backtracked almost all of a sudden, trying to hide himself in the best way possible, "So, you asked him?"_

"_Yes." Oliver word Felicity speak and his eyebrows furrowed, "So, tomorrow night then. You're going to tell him then?"_

"_I'll tell him everything," He heard her say._

_He breath hitched, tell him what?_

_That she was with Ray?_

"_And then what?"_

"_I was thinking about leaving Starling," His wife muttered, "This place is great but I think we need a new start. Just for a little while away from all of this." _

"_That sounds nice."_

_He almost tripped as he moved back, shock evident of on his event. The past events started reeling back in his mind and he found himself chuckling at his own stupidity._

_Of course she was cheating on him with Ray._

_That is why she asked her for a date today. _

_Because she wanted to reveal that she was with Ray. _

_His heart cracked and he understood the meaning of the quote, 'she broke my heart and stomped on it' in that moment._

_Tears threatened to fall down his cheeks._

_How she was hiding something._

_How Ray knew her better than anyone else._

_How she lied to him._

_How she was planning to tell him something and then Central City, of course she would leave him._

_Of course, she would leave him._

_He gritted his teeth in agitation, his fists clenching. He was about to turn and head towards the two of them._

_He was finally going to bash Palmer._

_Oh, he was going to beat him to pulp._

_His gaze flickered towards the area and he realize that the two had already left._

_He growled under his breath before making his way towards his bike. He was flustered, his hands shaking as he put the key in ignition. _

_And then he reacted._

_He pushed the bike causing it to land on the ground with a thump. His jaw locked tightly and he found himself crouching down, sitting near the bike._

_Why did she do this to him?_

_Did she not love him?_

_Was it because of Conner? The grief might have been too much but he was his son too. He didn't fall into someone else's arm, why did she?_

"_Oliver?" Thea sounded worried as she reached her brother._

_Oliver didn't say a word, his hands hiding his face as he finally let himself go. Tears dripped down his cheeks as the realization dawned on him._

_Felicity had lost Conner._

_Maybe that is why she turned to Ray for comfort._

_But Oliver had lost Conner too._

_And now…he lost Felicity as well._

….

"I didn't know what to do," Oliver started, his eyes moist, "I thought I lost you. I got drunk that night." He laughed a little, "I thought maybe it would help with the pain. When I went back to the mansion that day, I looked for the divorce papers that mom had gotten us when I left you… I-I signed them."

"You didn't even twice." She murmured, her nose red, "You just-you didn't trust me one bit, did you?" She tilted her head sideways, "Not one bit."

"I-"

"It was a surprise." Felicity didn't let him speak, "I wanted to tell you that I was done with the sessions. The psychiatrist told me that-I, I needed my _husband. _I was ready to talk about Conner, to _visit _him. I was ready to do anything to be with you," Her voice cracked, "I wanted to-wanted to leave Starling with _you_. I thought the two of us needed a fresh beginning… I just wanted us together."

She sniffed, "But look at fate, huh?" She tried to smile, "We both lost each other either way."

Oliver didn't know what to say. A lone tear dripped down his cheek too.

A surprise.

She wanted it to be special and what did he do?

"I waited for you to show up. For five hours, I waited and then I found the divorce papers," She bit her lip, "I found the papers. I thought we'll get back together, properly. Living under the same roof, back like before. But.." Her voice trailed off and Oliver knew what was coming next. He closed his eyes, "I found out the papers. And then, I _saw _you."

Oliver's face crumbled, "Do you even remember our last conversation, Oliver?"

Of course he did.

It made him crawl in a hole and die. He remembered (he didn't really remember the entire conversation to be honest) some of the words he spoke that day and he had felt regret piling inside of him later on but when learned how Felicity and Ray had left for Central City he had started telling himself that what he said was might be mean and meaningless-but she deserved it.

Except she didn't.

_She didn't._

….

**May 2012**

_Felicity made a dash towards the reception wanting to know where Oliver was. The divorce papers were folded to form a roll which she had been clutching in her hand rather tightly. _

_To say she was shocked would be an understatement. She had been waiting for Oliver to show up at their place but he didn't show up. To top it, she finally realized that there was a manila envelope right underneath her door and when she had opened, tears had welled up in her eyes before anger took over._

_She was going to kill Oliver._

_She had tried contacting him for the umpteenth time that day when she realized that situation was not to be taken lightly. She had to talk to him face to face. She had tried calling Tommy and Thea but no one picked up their phone. Heck, not even John. So, she tracked his GPS and was surprised to see that he was staying at a hotel._

_She felt her stomach drop._

_Hotel?_

_So, she was here. She had blown all the candles out, had gotten rid of the food she had cooked for him and had made her way towards the said hotel._

"_Oliver Queen?" She spoke the name out and the receptionist moved her fingers across the keyboard and hummed in reply, "He is staying here. May I know who are you?" _

"_I'm his wife." She tapped her fingers against the table, "Can you please tell me his room number?"_

"_I'm sorry, Mrs. Queen. We haven't received any information from Mr. Queen-"_

"_Listen, I'm in a hurry. I need to talk to my husband."_

"_Ma'am, I can-"_

"_Please." Felicity pleaded, her hand losing its grip on the divorce papers, "I need to talk to him. It's urgent."_

"_I can'-"_

"_Please." Felicity murmured again, biting her lip. Her eyes were wide and moist, God she really needed to meet him._

"_Room 203." She told her quietly, "Don't tell anyone about this." _

_Felicity smiled weakly, "Don't worry, I won't." She hastily made her way towards the elevator, "Thank you!"_

_She was going to talk to him._

…

_She stood in front the door. The number 203 were etched on it in golden. She took a deep breath before fisting her hand and knocking on it. Stepping back, she waited for the door to open, her mind trying to formulate words._

_What will she say?_

_Why did you divorce me, Oliver?_

_A small part of still believed that it must all be a misunderstanding. Things were going well. They were spending time together, they were talking about Conner-they loved each other. She pressed her hand against the corner of her eyes and wiped away the moisture there._

_How can things go so wrong?_

_She was angry._

_She was emotional._

_And she would sure as hell planning on beating Oliver with the same roll of paper he had signed god knows how many hours ago. _

_She was going to kill him._

_Slaughter him._

_The door opened the next second and she was greeted by a sight she wasn't prepared for._

_A girl stood on the threshold of room, wearing a shirt._

_A gorgeous girl in a shirt._

_Just a shirt._

_Oliver's shirt._

_Her face fell in a second and she opened her mouth, wanting to say something when Oliver popped in behind the said woman who was looking at her, probably judging her with those big beady eyes of hers. _

"_Oliver?" She gasped, her voice was quiet having lost the ability to speak out loudly. _

"_Felicity! Hey!" He greeted her with a smile and Felicity was suddenly aware of the fact that he was drunk, "Come on in!" He gestured towards his room, stepping aside ever so slightly to allow her in. _

"_What is going on here?" Felicity gritted out through her clenched teeth although eyes depicted some other story, tears were threatening to fall but she'll be damned if she let them._

"_What do you think-"The woman decided to speak and Felicity glared at her, "I wasn't talking to you. I'm here for my husband."_

"_Husband?" Her eyebrow quirked up as she looked at Oliver, "You told me you divorced her."_

"_I did." Oliver laughed, moving his hand in the air where his wedding ring was present once and Felicity felt her heart break in two. The nonchalant expression on his face made her want to puke her guts out. "How can you be this way? How can you do this?"_

"_How can I do this?" Oliver's eyes widened as he stared at her, "Just the way you did it." Felicity frowned, the tears finally went down her cheeks, "I did what?"_

"_Just the way you ruined my life." He uttered out, "Just the way you took away my son. The way it was so easy for you." _

_Felicity's face shattered at the name of late son, "Oliver, you can-can't do this to us. I won't let it you."_

"_I believe he just did." The woman grinned and Felicity's anger reached her peak. Her hand moved forward as she pushed her in, "I'm not talking to you bitch!" She yelled suddenly, the onslaught of emotions being too much, "What the fuck is wrong with you, Oliver?! I tried everything and-"_

"_Don't talk to her that way." Oliver pushed the young girl behind her back and Felicity's eyebrows furrowed, "You're going to support her?!"_

"_Well, she didn't exactly ruin my life did she?"_

"_But all I wanted was to fix this relationship!" She shouted before throwing the divorce paper on the ground, "I just wanted to fix it, Goddamit! And you cheat on me?!"_

"_Well, it was pretty easy." Oliver smirked, "I mean, getting over you. What is it that you've ever done for me, anyway? You took my son away, Felicity. You left me, you-you are just a bitch. Just like the others," He scoffed, "You were after my money, weren't you?" His words were slurry yet the meaning was crisp._

_Felicity was speechless for a few seconds, Oliver's words playing in her mind._

_You took my son away._

_You were after my money._

_She was crumbling on the inside._

_She wanted to fix her relationship with this man? He clearly didn't give a damn about her and she wanted to fix this?_

"_How could you even think that?"_

_Oliver laughed before glaring at her, "You were right, Felicity. You don't deserve either of us. You are just a fucking bitch." _

"_Fuck you, Oliver." Felicity spat at him, "You are such a bastard." God, she did not want to cry for him. Why was she crying for him?!_

"_Say whatever you want, Felicity. It's you who destroyed this relationship. Who destroyed me."_

_You don't deserve either of us._

_And suddenly, the old insecurities returned._

_All this while, she had been doing all of this so that they can be happy together. So that they can get past this._

_But in reality, they were past nothing._

_Old wounds still existed and nothing-no one could heal them._

_Not even her._

_Not even him._

_So, this as the end of their relationship. _

_Maybe she didn't deserve Oliver because she took away Conner._

_Maybe God was making her pay for taking away a precious angel._

_She deserved this, didn't she?_

"_I wish-I wish it was you that had died that night."_

_Felicity tripped back, losing her footing. His words seemed to have slap her right across her face and she bit her lip, her hands landing limp by her side. "Wh-"_

"_Whatever. You can do whatever you want." Oliver rolled his eyes, "You're not my concern anymore. You mean nothing to me." He spat his final words at her._

_The door closed and Felicity tumbled backward, tears pouring down her cheeks._

_I wish it was you that had died that night._

"_I wish that every day, Oliver, "Felicity murmured to herself as she finally collapsed, right in the middle of the hallway, "It's what I wish for every day."_

_And in that moment Felicity Queen had decided._

_She would divorce him._

_Because despite the pangs that she felt in her heart as the realization dawned on her, something else did too._

_All that she had done was for nothing._

_She had lost him either way. _

_And she didn't deserve him for killing Conner._

_And he didn't deserve her after what he just did to her._

_They were done._

….

_The next day Felicity left for Central City._

_And Oliver had felt his heart hurt as he realized that she had left with Ray and he was right all along._

…

"All this while I thought you left me because you blamed me for Conner's death," Felicity declared, rubbing her cheeks hastily, "I thought you left me because you thought I ruined us."

"Felicity," Oliver started and Felicity blinked, she hadn't realized that he had gotten up from his position and was now crouching front of her, "I never blamed you for Conner's death."

"Could have fooled me." She muttered, turning her gaze away.

"Hey look at me," Oliver mumbled, his hands reaching for her face and she looked at his eyes for one second, noticing the moisture present there too before swatting his hand away, "Don't touch me."

Now that the conversation had ended, reality was staring at their faces.

And it _pierced _Oliver's heart.

To realize how much of big mistake he had made.

_Blunder._

"I deserve that," He mumbled and Felicity didn't look at him, "I don't remember much of the conversation…we-we had that night, Felicity. I never blamed you for Conner's death. _I never did."_

"Well, you did manage to say a lot of things anyway." Felicity huffed before getting up, pushing Oliver away in the process, "You made me hate myself, Oliver. I hated myself but what I should have done was _hate _you."

Oliver didn't say anything. He didn't know what to.

Three years.

Almost three fucking years where he had hated this woman.

The love of his life.

Who he had let go, just on the basis of something that his mind had built up.

"Why didn't you talk to me? You could have asked once," She murmured, pressing her hands on the top of her hand, "Once and I would have told _everything. _Instead, you assumed. Ray, Oliver, really? You never trusted me." Her fingers twitched, "You should have fucking trusted me!"

"I know! I know, alright!" Oliver stood up from his position, "I was such an asshole, I know. I should have talked-I should have trusted you, I know." He spoke in one breath, "I made mistakes. I was messed up," His fingers twitched, his blue eyes looking anywhere but her.

He didn't know how to face her.

"You said those words."

"I never meant them," He pleaded, "I didn't even remember half of them, Felicity. I was drunk and I fucked up-"

"Drunk words are sober thoughts!"

"Not always. I was confused, I was _hurt."_ He uttered, "I just wanted-"

"You wished that it was I who had died that day." She stage whispered, her voice shaking, "I wish that every day, Oliver. Everyday. It should have been my funeral that day, not Conner's."

"Don't talk like that," Felicity snorted at that and a second later, Oliver was standing in front of her, his hands pressed against her arms, "Don't talk like that."

"Don't touch-" Felicity fidgeted.

"Listen to me, alright? I was a douche, a fucking moron, but I never meant it." His face was marred with tear tracks, "I never meant it. I was devastated at the mere thought of losing you. Don't-" He took a deep breath, "I don't want to lose you."

"Except you did." Felicity murmured, "You did."

"I know, I know." Oliver told her, desperation lacing his tone. "Did you try to commit suicide?"

"So what if I did?"

"So what if I did? It's not like you cared, did you?"

"Of course, I did!"

"You have a funny way of showing it."

"_Why?" _ Felicity might be going through grief but she always had been strong. What had crumbled her?

"He has the audacity to ask why," She laughed through her tears. Sometimes Oliver could be so obtuse, "I lost both of you. I just needed to-I just needed to see him once. He was my hope, Oliver. You were my hope but you crushed my heart." She paused, taking in a breath, "I just wanted to _feel. _I was _numb_. I overdosed on sleeping pills," She sniffed, "I thought you won't care anyw-"

"I care. I always cared." Oliver leaned in closer, "I was hurt because I cared dammit!" He cupped her wet cheeks, "I loved you!" He stated and Felicity sniffed, not meeting his eyes, "No, you didn't. Trust is the foundation of love, Oliver. You should have trusted me. You should have talked to me."

"I know," Oliver muttered and before Felicity could realize his forehead was pressed against hers, their hands joined in the middle. Their eyes were closed and Felicity was aware of the fact that Oliver was crying, "I-I made mistakes. But, but you don't have to pay for them. Conner's death," Felicity's breath hitched, "It wasn't your fault. Killing yourself was not the answer. Do you-do you realize…what would have happened to me if I would have found out?" He let out a small whimper, "I lost my son and then you-I would have lost myself."

"But you lost me either way, Oliver." Felicity murmured, her eyes opening and suddenly she moved away. Theirs hands separated ever so slowly and Oliver felt that he was losing her all over again, "I can't forgive you for that, I can't." Felicity murmured, shaking her head adamantly as she situated herself on the couch, "I won't."

"I don't deserve forgiveness." Oliver confessed.

He did not.

The realization was true and full of agony but he deserved it. Impulsiveness had led to his downfall. Would it be the same way if the tables were turned and it was Felicity who had her doubts?

No.

Felicity would have trusted him.

Maybe this was the same opinion that Felicity had about him.

Until he crumbled her _trust._

Come to think of it, Oliver had committed the same sin he thought Felicity had done.

If there was any place out there worse than hell, he deserved it.

He _deserved _it.

Oliver crouched down in front of Felicity. He was desperate, yes he was. Ever since she had come back to Starling City, Oliver had only seen her hatred but tonight, something else burned in her eyes.

It was disappointment.

And it was time he fixed it.

"These things are not easy to forgive." Oliver started, his hands moving towards his trying to wipe away the tears, "And I don't even deserve an ounce of it. But I'm going to ask for it anyway." He tried to laugh it off, "I deserve hell. I deserve everything but once, can we...fix this somehow?"

"No."

The response was sudden and Oliver felt his world crumbling. Is this how she felt when he had rebuked her?

"I can't." She shook her head, "Oliver," She looked down, "Do you know before leaving Starling, dad called me? I didn't reveal anything to him. Grammy doesn't know either. I don't know if you told them about our last encounter or not,"

His dad knew, hell he even knew that Ray was helping Felicity in dealing with Conner's death. He had tried telling her all those time but he had refused to listen to him. His Grammy however, wasn't aware of the last incident between them. All she was aware about was Oliver believed Felicity had cheated on with Ray.

Believed.

Why had Oliver never reached for conclusions?

"I didn't say anything. I didn't want to talk to anyone," She closed her eyes, a thing she did when she was in pain, "Because I didn't want to fix it. I was done. Even if you hadn't blamed me for Conner's death, I was done. I didn't want to see your face which is why I didn't talk to anyone."

"I deserved that."

"You deserve a lot more that." Felicity declared, "You had your family. Who did I have? I had Ray," She murmured, "And you thought…I cheated? What about all those time where I found you talking to Laurel, alone? When you were living at Tommy's, Laurel used to spend time there-I never even thought about you cheating on me. Because I thought I _knew _you."

"But you didn't know me." She stated and stood up, not wanting to look in his eyes. They were full of intense emotions and she was afraid she'll become weak, "Laurel had been your girlfriend was almost four years, Oliver. Sara was another case. I never judged. I never doubted, how could you? _How could you?"_

Oliver had found himself speechless for the umpteenth time that night.

How could he? He never really realize how all these years, she had imposed her trust in him. He had a reputation before but she was the first woman to look past that, isn't that one of reasons why he fell in love with her?

So, why couldn't it be two ways?

Why wasn't it two ways?

"I-I was stupid, I was irrational-but we can figure something out-"

He didn't want to lose Felicity. He didn't.

"You won't even give a rat's ass about me if we wouldn't be having this conversation," Felicity whispered, "Relationships don't change overnight, Oliver. They can't." She paused, "Besides, we don't even have a relationships. Relationships are based on trust. You didn't trust me then. I don't trust you now."

"No, something is there," Oliver sniped out all of a sudden, "I was hurt because I cared. I still do-I want us. I want this-" He gestured between the two of them, "Whatever it is I want it to be there."

There, he had had admitted it to himself.

Even if they hadn't had this conversation, he would want her to be there with him.

Because something had _changed._

It had.

Not love.

(Maybe they were far away from that at this point)

But something had.

He didn't want to let this go.

"The vulnerability," Felicity laughed a little sardonically, "I see it too. You tend to bring my walls down, I have to force myself to stay strong all the time," She sniffed, "Not anymore. We're done." She wiped her tears, "Get out."

She was done with him.

"Felicit-"

"Get out."

"Will you just listen to me once?! Can't we fix this somehow?"

"Fix how?" Felicity stood right in front of his face, "_Fix how?! _Did you forgive me? What if I had really screwed Ray, then what? Would you have forgiven me?" She looked straight in his eyes, "You didn't forgive me for the exact same mistake that you made, Oliver. How am I supposed to forgive you?"

Oliver flinched.

_How was she supposed to forgive him?_

"Your family called me words. They jumped to conclusions. You never stood up for me. You know what's worst, Oliver?" She sounded miserable, "I never expected you too." She moved back, moving her hand in the air, "This Oliver, he wasn't my Oliver. The one I had fallen madly in love with. He wasn't mine. You were someone else. I didn't trust you. I didn't know you. You know you used to be really good at reading me. You just _knew _me. But then you didn't," Her voice trailed off, "You didn't."

She tried to ignore Oliver's broken expression.

"You called me your leftover," Oliver shook his head adamantly, "But in reality, you're the coward. I tried. I fought-you betrayed. You didn't leave me, Oliver." She whispered, trying to keep her tears at bay.

"_You lost me."_

And in that one moment, Oliver Queen crumbled as he fell down on his knees. Felicity took a step back, her own heart breaking at the sight of it. She pressed a hand against her mouth before turning around and walking out of the suite and Oliver let out a broken roar.

_You lost me._

They say that the irony of life is, that you realize the value of the thing you love the most is when you lose them.

He had loved her.

And he had lost her.

And the worst part?

_He didn't realize her value._

_Not even then._

….

Felicity leaned against the railing of the bridge where she had come to clear her head. Staring at the waves ahead of her, she fidgeted with her hands, her lower lip tucked between her teeth as she tried to contain her sobs.

She gave into the urge moving her hand towards her mouth and pressing it as she cried her out.

She _hated _Oliver Queen.

She _hated _him so much.

…

**November 2012**

_Felicity sighed as she settled herself on the table, dropping her bag on it. A waiter suddenly appeared in front of her and she managed a small grin at him, "Two black coffees with extra su-" She stopped all of a sudden realizing that she was the only one here and her mouth parted open in surprise, her fingers curling ever so slightly._

_**("Two black coffees with extra sugar coming up for the couple," Oliver shoved the foam cup in her hand, a bright smile on his face.**_

"_**Thank you," Felicity grinned back.)**_

"_Uh, I'll have a cappuccino," She mumbled to the waiter, "Low sugar." She told him and the waiter nodded before heading back towards the counter._

_**( "How do people like cappuccino, I find it disgusting to be honest," Oliver wrinkled his nose and Felicity whacked his arm, "Coffee is coffee, Oliver." She laughed, "It tastes delicious, no matter what."**_

"_**You don't like cappuccino either, do you?"**_

"_**No, I don't." ) **_

_Felicity tried to smile her best when the waiter brought the cup of coffee for her. Her lips curled up ever so slightly on the outside._

_But on the inside, her heart was breaking._

….

**November 2012**

_Oliver waited for his dad to come home any moment. His fingers twitched, the anxiety kicking in. _

_He was finally doing this._

_**( "I think you should give it a try to," Felicity told him as the two of them laid in their bed, "Really?" Oliver blubbered out.**_

"_**Yeah, I mean. You are his son after all. And you handled Verdant really well, so I think you would be able to handle QC too." Felicity elaborated, "I think you'll do great."**_

"_**Yeah?" He smiled at her and Felicity smiled before nuzzling her face in his bare chest and dropping a kiss there, "Now let me sleep. I'm really tired."**_

"_**And sore."**_

"_**Shut up," She grinned before whacking him across his chest. His chest rumbled with laughter and he found himself thinking about it.**_

_**CEO.**_

_**Maybe he could actually be-**_

"_**Think over it tomorrow, Oliver. Not now."**_

_**Oliver smiled a little, "I'm not-"**_

"_**Oliver."**_

"_**Fine," He sighed, "I'm sleeping. I'm in a coma, happy?" He tried to grin and Felicity whacked her fist against his chest, "Ow!" He rubbed his chest.**_

_**Just then a shrill cry echoed across the baby monitor and Felicity groaned, "Oliver."**_

"_**I'm in a coma, remember?"**_

"_**Oliver."**_

"_**Fine," Oliver got up before wearing his sweat pants and heading towards Conner's room.**_

_**Father.**_

_**Husband.**_

_**CEO.**_

_**He didn't really mind that. **_

_**Especially since Felicity trusted him.**_

_**With her? **_

_**Anything.)**_

_Lost in his own thoughts, he didn't realize that his father was looking at him, his gaze questioning yet hard. He knew that it was because he was stressed because they weren't aware of Felicity's contacts and Oliver-_

_Well, he hated to think about her._

"_Dad, I want to be the CEO."_

_He would do this._

_Oliver Queen_

_CEO. _

_He didn't really mind that._

_Without her._

…

(When they were away from each other, they were miserable.

When they were with each other, they were miserable.

So, why did God bring them together anyway?

Maybe to give their love story a chance.

Or in this case, a _second _chance. )

...

**Done. **

**I really hoped you guys liked it x**

**It's a sucky chapter, I know. I had to redo it twice and I still don't like it.**

**Anyways,**

**Thank you for everything :')**

**I'm sorry for not saying thank you to each and everyone of you but will definitely do so in the next chapter.**

**I seriously love you all.**

**Come say hi to me on twitter : srishti369 **

**Srishti x**

**P.S Favourite moment in the story so far?**

**P.P.S How many of you watch Sense8 (Kalagang owns me)**


	17. Chapter Sixteen : Repercussions

**A/N : Many people were anxiously waiting for this update, so here it is.**

**P.S. I have received more than a hundred reviews and I'm so grateful. I love you all :')**

**Hope you like this chapter.**

**Disclaimer : I don't own anything that seems familiar.**

**(Haven't even given it a reading, ignore the mistakes pls )**

**Word Count : 130109**

**Chapter Sixteen : Repercussions **

Oliver groaned as a sharp pain hit his neck. Mumbling incoherent words, he moved his neck upwards, his blue eyes opening ever so slowly. He blinked his eyes repeatedly, the moisture content in there made him come to a realization that he had cried for hours the night before.

Suddenly, his eyes widened. He almost jerked out of his position before looking at his wrist. The watch told him the time was eight fifteen am and he stood up hastily, his hands moving to rub his eyes one last time before he made a beeline towards the Felicity's room.

Stopping momentarily in front of the door, he raised his fist to knock at it but stopped at the last second.

What was he really supposed to say to her?

I'm sorry?

Like a sorry would make everything right.

It was like a bucket of ice water had been dashed on him. Turns out, he was the villain in the entire scenario. He blamed her for something that he himself had done and had demeaned her.

The words he had told her to her face were etched across his brain and heart and he closed his eyes as he recalled them.

They were horrible to her.

_Horrible._

And it was all based on a misconception.

In all honesty, Oliver was aware of the fact that it was a two way street. Felicity had lied to him too and at that point things made sense but it didn't justify his acts later on. Screwing some other girl a day after signing the papers did not make sense and nothing could justify it.

He was impulsive.

He was a _fucking _moron and he was aware of that fact.

But he wanted to make it better. He knew it would be hard but he was willing to try.

He _needed _to make it better.

Because he didn't want to see the disappointment and the hurt lingering in her eyes. He didn't want her to suffer for something that _he _did.

Because he wanted to redeem himself in her eyes and in his own eyes. He should have trusted her. He should have at least _talked to _her.

And then, calling her those _words. _Shit, what was he thinking? Blaming her for everything wrong in his world when she was the one who held the power to make everything right.

God, he was such a fucking asshole.

"Felicity," He mumbled, his voice hoarse. He knocked once and then again when he didn't receive any response. Frowning to himself, he turned the knob of the door and took a deep breath, "Fe-"The word died on his lips when he found that the bed was completely made.

Almost as if someone hadn't slept in there.

He groaned before moving out of the room and instantly headed out of the suite, wondering if she had spent the night in his suite rather than her own because he was a douche. His first move was the open the door which wasn't very chivalrous come to think of it but he didn't care. He bit his lip when the door didn't open. Of course it won't, he didn't have the card key, did he?

He fisted his hand before knocking at the door and muttered curse words under his breath when she didn't open it, "Felicity," He started and groaned when he didn't receive a reply. "Felicity?"

Maybe she was still sleeping.

Oliver stepped back, his hands landing on his trousers and he wiped them. He stepped inside_ her _suite, his gaze flickering around as he took a deep breath.

Now what?

How was he supposed to fix this?

How were they supposed to get back from here?

_How?_

Oliver sighed to himself as he sat on the couch. His hands covered his eyes for a couple of second, trying to get rid of the stress.

"How?" He mumbled, his voice breaking. He didn't know what to do. The urge to fix everything right was so strong but he didn't know how. He could not even forgive himself, let alone ask for Felicity's forgiveness.

_You lost me._

They say eyes are the window to your soul. Her eyes showcased pain and disappointment.

_Betrayal._

She had been through so much all alone. And what had he done? He had made it worse for her. Why had he never sat down and talked to her face to face? Maybe situations would have been different.

They definitely would be.

The realization had dawned overnight and it hurt. He thought that losing Felicity right after losing his son was brutal but knowing that he had lost her over nothing was a something that he couldn't bear.

A lone tear trickled down his cheeks and he sniffed before wiping it away. Lowering his eyes towards the floor, he pressed his elbows against his knees, his head grasped behind his hands as he allowed himself to think.

Just think.

Just then his eyes caught sight of something and he bit back a groan. The key to his room was lying on the floor and his eyes widened momentarily before he made a mad dash towards Felicity's room where he didn't find her clothes, her bag, her _anything._

She had _left._

Oliver bit back a growl as he moved his arm which hit a bowl full of marbles kept on the shelf.

She had left without him.

…

Felicity mumbled the words written on the screen to herself as she stared at the computer screen ahead of her. Her hand held a red pen which moved as she read the article about their recent acquisition with Ted Kord. Sighing to herself, she moved the mouse and hit the cross on the screen, the window snapping shut in a second before she leaned back against her chair.

She looked at the clock on her table, the clock telling her it was nine in the morning before she took off her glasses and rubbed her eyes. The lack of sleep was getting to her. The computer chose to go into sleep mode in that particular moment and Felicity finally got the chance to her reflection in the black screen of her computer. Her eyes looked good. Definitely not the way they were looking a few hours ago on the plane back to Starling. They were puffy then. The lack of sleep and the late night crying session she had was clearly evident. But she had done a good job with the concealer. The only thing she wasn't able to hide was her fatigue that was clearly visible in her eyes.

And the pain.

Yeah, that was a bitch too.

Her eyes flickered towards the photo frame lying on her table and a wry smile crossed her lips while picking it up.

The decision to leave Coast City without him was impulsive and she didn't regret it. Honestly, she didn't even want to see his face at this point. Just looking at him would make the entire conversation rush back into her head. A small part of her wanted to forget her conversation with him because it so damn painful but the other part of her was adamant to remember it because it gave her the strength to move on. And definitely realize, how the most important relationship in her life was lie.

Before she could muse further a voice invaded her thought process, "You're not Ollie."

Felicity looked up only to find herself staring at Thea who had her arms crossed her across her chest, her right eyebrow risen up-a look that reminded her of his brother, "Where is my brother?"

Felicity blinked for a couple of seconds as she put the frame down before answering coolly, "I don't know."

Thea clearly wasn't satisfied with the answer as she huffed, "Where is he, Felicity? He went with you, didn't he? What? Did you leave him there?"

"Actually, I did." Felicity answered, pushing her hands against the table as she stood up.

Thea frowned, "What?"

"I don't know where he is Thea," Felicity bit out, "I left Coast City early this morning, before him." She stated while make her way towards the front of the table and leaning her back against it, Thea opened her mouth, "Why?"

"Just…" Felicity's voice trailed off, unsure if she should talk about this, "That's none of your business." She stared at her, her voice strong.

Thea didn't deserve to know anything. Not after the comments she passed about her.

Come to think of it, for the first time, Felicity didn't feel the need to tell herself to be strong.

She was strong.

She was _done._

"The hell it is not my business. Where is my brother?" She questioned her again, "I need to talk to him. What the heck did you do to him?" Her glare hardened.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me, Smoak."

Felicity crossed her arms as she gritted her teeth.

Damn right she did.

Her emotional barrier snapped as she finally answered, "And you heard me, Queen. I don't know where he is. I left Coast City early. " She raised her hands in the air, her expression clearly showcasing her dislike for Thea. "And if you can't talk to me politely, then I suggest you get out." She pointed towards the door behind Thea and her eyes widened, "Excuse me?"

She didn't regret talking to Thea this way. The way she was talking to her-or had been treating her was no better. She didn't deserve any of it and honestly, she should have told her this a long time ago but now wasn't a bad time either.

She was done with this God damn family.

Thea blanched, "You're asking _me _to get out?"

"Yes." The word trailed off, her head moving down ever so slightly as she crossed her arms, the end of her ponytail hitting her shoulder, "The door's right behind you." She elaborated and Thea narrowed her eyes at her, "I own the damn company, Felicity. I can come in anytime, I can get out anytime. And I sure as hell can talk in whatever way I want to."

Felicity turned around as she made her way towards her chair before looking up at her ex-sister in law, "Actually," She nodded her head, "I think you're forgetting something," Her posture stiffened a little as she answered her back, her voice crisp, "I own the damn company. You own _thirty _percent, I own _thirty five _percent which makes me, "She tilted her head sideways, "Me," She pointed her finger towards herself, "The owner of the damn company you're standing in."

Thea's eyes widened.

"So, I suggest you get an attitude check or _get out."_

"My brothers owns it as well."

"Well, I don't see your brother here," Felicity shrugged, "So, now do I need to call security, Thea?" Felicity narrowed her eyes, "Or the message wasn't clear."

"Whatever." Thea mumbled as she made an about turn, ready to get out of the cabin when Felicity called out for her again.

Thea whipped her head sharply as Felicity smiled, "Shut the door on the way, why don't you?"

"You're a bitch, Felicity."

"About time, don't you think?" She crossed her arms before leaning back against the chair watching as the youngest Queen exited her cabin.

She sighed to herself as she closed her eyes momentarily.

She was proud of herself.

She was really over all of this.

In reality, Felicity wouldn't have come here. But there was a plus, Oliver wasn't here and she needed to distract herself.

Distract herself from the reality.

A crumbling realization that the one relationship she had held so close to her heart was in fact a lie.

For a relationship, you need trust. Turns out, their relationship had none of it.

Come to think of it, yes, she knew that lying to him wasn't the answer to her problem. Maybe if she hadn't lied this situation wouldn't have happened. Maybe if she stepped in his shoes, she would have thought the same.

A doubt would have sprouted.

A doubt.

She wouldn't have reached a conclusion before she had confronted Oliver. Because despite the circumstances, she knew him inside out.

He didn't know her.

More than the fact that he thought so, it was the fact that he didn't approach her. Didn't talk to her once. Always dodged around the bush. Didn't see past the walls that she had created and had walked past, just for him to enter.

She just wanted him.

It was the fact that how it took him a second to jump into someone else's bed, how it took a few fleeting moments to demean her and to throw away his wedding ring.

"It was you that should have died that night."

Yes, the words were painful.

Yes, she believed in it.

You know they are moments of self-doubt? Moments that you feel a sense of fear, afraid you would go back to the way you were.

That was what was happening with her.

She had managed to bring herself together.

Only for Oliver to demolish her.

She had believed in his words and blamed herself. Because, of course she was the one to be blamed.

She killed him.

But then, she had moved past the guilt and started living. The life she led, might be the way it was because she usually ignored anything about Conner but it worked, didn't it?

In a twisted way, she moved on from it. The second time round, the situation was different. Oliver leaving her had left a hole in her heart which made her believe that yes, she was fault.

But she had _ignored _the feeling and had starting living.

(A pretty robotic and monotonous life to be honest)

But she did.

She moved past it.

_Literally._

(Is it weird that sometimes she believed she had just gotten used to the guilt rather than moving on from it? Because she found herself crumbling again.)

He demolished her again, didn't he?

(Because in reality, she hadn't moved on.

In reality, Oliver wasn't here with her.

In reality, nothing had really happened.)

But she was adamant to change that.

She would move on.

Past Conner's death?

She wasn't really sure about that. The hole would always be there.

Past Oliver?

She was definitely sure of that.

…

Felicity needed something.

But she couldn't find it.

Going through the shelves inside Oliver's cabin, her hands moved hastily as she tried to search for it. Today had been _hard. _ And she needed it to get over with this. Fiddling through the shelves, she groaned when she realized it was kept her. Her hand fixed the digital clock kept on it realizing that it was one pm and she had managed to get through half of the day without actually bursting into tears.

"It's been three years Felicity, don't you think a few things would have changed by now?" Felicity whipped her head only to glare at Oliver who sighed at the sight of her, "Bottom drawer." He uttered out as he stood at the threshold of his cabin.

Felicity gave him the stink eye before bending down and opening the last drawer only to find the bottle of liquor she was looking for. It was something that Robert kept in his cabin and its usual location was the top of shelf if it wasn't on the table right in front of the sofas in the room.

Needless to say, the location had changed.

"Can we-"Oliver didn't even get to finish his sentence when Felicity moved past him and his glare hardened. He groaned, "Can't we just talk once?" He was somewhat glad that their assistants weren't present here.

Felicity rolled her eyes as she entered her cabin and Oliver followed her much to chagrin, "If the message isn't clear, I don't want to talk, ." Oliver's eyes widened momentarily as the last word escaped her lips, "Now get out of my cabin before I do something I regret." She smiled sardonically, her lips stretched in a forced smile as she picked up the glass from the table kept in there for the guest and poured herself a glass of whiskey.

Hard Liquor. That is what she needed.

Oliver gritted his teeth as he made his way towards her. It had taken him four hours to get down here and in those four hours he had contemplated and had decided that he was going to talk to her about it.

He knew he was a fucking moron but he would try.

At this point, he was ready for Felicity's wrath because he knew he deserved it.

Knowing what he had done to her, he would gladly take all the anger because she deserved to let it out.

She deserved to move on.

And maybe this way, they could patch up.

It was a silly notion.

_Patching up._

"Listen, I know I don't deserve this-"

"Damn right, you don't. Now get out."

"Give me a chance, alright?" Desperation laced his tone as he sat in front of her and Felicity didn't reply as she gulped down another glass, "You had your chance, now _get out!"_

Oliver stopped Felicity before she could pour herself another glass, "You have low tolerance for alcohol." He reasoned, "I know you're angry-"

"I'm not angry, asshole. I bear homicidal tendencies." She gritted out before she pulled her hand away from him but didn't reach for another glass. "Just go, Oliver." She mumbled all of sudden. She was in no mood to deal with him. She was afraid she might just burst into tears. Looking at him, all she could do was think about their previous conversation and although a part of her was furious, another part of her just wanted to curl up in a ball and cry and vent out all her frustration, "I don't want to talk to you. I don't want to look at you." She told him, her eyes meeting his to show him that she actually meant it.

_I thought you cheated on me with Ray._

_You mean nothing to me._

_I wish it was you that had died that night._

"I despise you," She spoke, her words crisp, "And there is no force on this earth that can make me talk to you about," She moved her fingers in the air, "Fixing it." She air quoted with them, "There is _nothing _to fix. We are not in a relationship, "She leaned back against her chair, the tears at bay as she laughed dryly, "We never had a relationship."

"I know," Oliver mumbled and Felicity blinked. For the first time, she found herself staring at him properly. His eyes were puffy and he looked tired. His shirt was wrinkled and a small part of her felt for him but she shrugged it off. The expression on his face gave off everything though, for the first time she saw Oliver owning up to his mistakes, "I know," He mumbled quietly and Felicity was sure he was twitching his fingers underneath the table, "It was my fault." He declared quietly, his eyes downcast as if ashamed. "But you don't have to pay for it. We can talk. I know-" His voice broke, "Getting this right is practically impossible at this point. But we can try." He stage whispered, "We can at least acknowledge-"

"_Why?"_

Why now?

The question had been revolving in her mind ever since Oliver had expressed his desire to do so.

Was it because he realized it was his fault?

He sounded sincere, his eyes shined with it but she didn't listen to that part of her. Every now and then, her heart supplied her with comments about Oliver. How he usually reacted, how _she knew him so well._ It was automatic, things just coming to her head and she was grateful for the fact that they didn't come out of her mouth knowing her broken filter problems.

Because the reality of the situation was different.

She didn't know him at all.

She didn't trust him at all.

"We can't," She mumbled, standing up from her chair, wanting to escape his gaze. If she wasn't sure before, she was definitely sure now. She would definitely burst into tears, "There's no going past this."

"We can try," Oliver stated while getting off the chair and turning around, his eyes landing on Felicity's retreating figure, "I want to try because I hope we can get rid of this friction-" He moved his hand and his ex-wife turned around, "I want to try because you don't deserve to live in with this piled up-" His eyebrows furrowed, "Guilt. It was my fault, I know it. Now give me chance to make it right. I-You need to learn how to let things go, Felicity. We need to let go. Conner's death-" Felicity's glare hardened, the tears making their appearance, "Wasn't your fault. Messing us up, wasn't your fault and I know it. Now don't you think, since the truth is out there we can _talk?_ I'm not asking for a chance right now, let's just talk once-and then you can decide whatever you want-once, that's all."

"I wish it were that easy," Felicity mumbled, wiping away the tears that had fallen down her cheeks, "It isn't." She sniffed, "You don't get to decide about my life. It's mine." She nodded her head, "You're talking about letting go? My son happens to my concern, so don't talk about that. " Her voice wavered ever so slightly, "As for us. I've already let you go a long time ago, Oliver. " She spoke, "I've let this go, a long time ago. So, I don't need _you _in my life, anymore. Fixing things isn't as easy it sounds like. And I'm not ready for it. I will never be."

"So, why don't you-"She paused, "Stop talking about this because they are somethings that you just can't walk past. I can't forget it," She declared, "This conversation ends now."

"No, it doesn't." Oliver finally started talking, his fingers twitched as he uttered out the words, "You lied to me in the first place, Felicity. So don't act all high and mighty. I made a mistake but you are at fault as well!" His voice rose, the words escaping his lips and that was when Felicity finally snapped, "Don't you think I know that?!"

Oliver blinked, he did not expect that sort of a reaction from her. The words that had just spewed out his mouth expressed something that had been on his mind for quite a long time. He did realize that what he had committed was a blunder, but she was at fault too. He didn't blame her-at this point, all he could see was his own mistake flashing in front of his very eyes but he couldn't help it. A selfish part of him, small part of him full of _denial, _his brain had supplied, still thought that maybe if she hadn't lied things would have been different.

At this point he was just frustrated. He knew he had fucked things up and he just needed a moment to get himself together. To get this all together. How had they managed to reach here? How had they gone so wrong?

"I know that!" She exclaimed, her loud voice finally making its presence known, "I lied when what I should have done is talk to you. And I'm sorry for it!" She owned up to her mistake, her legs moving towards Oliver, "But what about you?" She tilted her head sideways, tears pouring from her eyes, "I would have been okay Oliver if you would have thought and confronted me about it but what you-" Her voice was laced with disgust, "_did _is beyond forgiveness."

"I lied and you thought I cheated, I would have-" She paused before sniffing a little, "We could have talked. Instead, you went and screwed someone else. And _that _is something I can't forgive you. I'm not angry at you for thinking-" She wiped her hand across her cheek, "I'm angry at you because you _fucked _someone else knowing you had a wife out there. That you made the same mistake that you didn't forgive me for."

"You know what?" She breathed out finally, her tear ducts becoming dry as the tears stopped, "I'm _not _sorry." She stated adamantly before looking right into his eyes, "Because it made me see what a blunder we were. Trust is the foundation of relationship, Oliver. Turns out we had none of it. I meant nothing to you," She whispered, her mind playing over the conversation they had three years ago.

_You were after my money, weren't you?_

_You're a bitch, Felicity._

_You mean nothing to me._

The words were etched across her heart as much as she tried to get rid of it.

_I wish it was you that had died that night._

The words were pretty clear and in all honesty, she believed in them but those words being thrown in her face were a different case altogether. At the point in time, she was ready to move on with him but those words were an ultimatum, it made her realize that she never could move on from his death no matter how much she tried.

He made her believe that.

It was right though, wasn't it?

"That's-that's not true." Oliver's voice shook and Felicity scoffed, "I'm not a fool, Oliver. So jus-"

"I made a mistake." He breathed out, "I never-"

"Yeah," She whispered, "Yeah, we did." She meant something else entirely and Oliver's heart dropped into his stomach. "The only good out of this was Conner and we lo-lost him too, didn't we? This was never meant to be." She stage whispered.

"Never." She stated the word again, this time her voice did not waver and she made sure she looked into his eyes, "I'm done with you and your Goddamn family." Her fingers twitched-a parody of his own habit as she let out the final words that marked the end of their conversation.

"I ha-hate you, Oliver."

Oliver took a step back, stumbling ever so slightly and Felicity exited her cabin, wanting to be away from him.

The situation was an exact replica of what had happened in Coast City a couple of hours ago. Except it was different in a lot many ways.

Well to be pretty obvious, the location was different.

But most of all, it was the fact that Felicity Smoak did not cry as she _left_ him _behind._

She did not.

…

Felicity slammed the top of the coffee machine and groaned when it didn't work. Glaring at the styrofoam cup she had managed to nag from the set of cups lying beside it. What was the point though? The stupid machine wasn't working anyway.

Everything was going wrong.

Just so _wrong._

She almost contemplated going back to her floor but Oliver was still up there and she didn't want to see his face.

At this point, whiskey was better than coffee.

But eh, life was a bitch.

It was, wasn't it?

She thought about it and decided she would make a run to Starbucks because well, she was on the ground floor and today's day demanded coffee.

She needed coffee.

"So, what is this I'm hearing about the shouting on the 'CEO' floor?" She turned her head only to find John staring at her, his eyes inquisitive and Felicity shrugged, "They must have heard us. It's their job to gossip." She tried to state and John nodded his head a little as if expecting her to say more.

She didn't.

"Coffee?" He tried to have a conversation and Felicity nodded, "I'm going to Starbucks."

"That bad?" Digg's eyebrow rose although his voice was soft as if aware that the situation needed to be treated properly.

Felicity hesitated for a second and then nodded, "Yeah. That bad." Her voice trailed off for a second, flashes of everything that had happened during the course of the day coming to her mind before she shook her head, "I'll be fine though."

"Mind if I join in?" He asked her and Felicity nodded her head, a small smile on her lips, "No, I don't." She did need some company at this point to get her mind off Oliver, "Good." Diggle smiled a little and Felicity walked out of the building with Diggle in tow.

This was something she liked about Digg. He did not _force _her to tell him. Wanting to join her for coffee was an invitation that said he was here for her but he didn't force her to talk about it. Just a silent message that he was here when she needed him.

Maybe she would talk to Diggle about it in a day or two after all.

…

Oliver moved his finger across the rim of the glass that was filed with whiskey. Turns out stopping Felicity from drinking liquor was actually a good thing to do after all because it in the end the so called liquid was helping him gulp his guilt down.

Not really.

It still fucking hurt like a bitch.

Is this how Felicity felt? Seeing her stand up for herself today, even if she wasn't crying Oliver was sure she was holding tears at bay. It pained him to know that he was the cause behind it. It was painful enough to see her cry as it is, knowing he was the cause behind it just made it worse and made his heart sink further into his chest.

It was like losing Conner all over again.

Like losing his dad all over again.

It was one of the reasons why he proposed to Laurel. He was afraid that he would keep on losing people in his life and the throat made his throat clog up. He blamed fate for it. Life was uncertain, that is clearly something he had learned the hard way. And he was afraid that it would lead to him losing someone else at the end, _again. _

But what he didn't realize that he lost the most important thing in his life not because of fate but because of his own stupidity.

Her words ricocheted in his head and it made sense. What he did was unforgivable. Maybe if he had talked to her about it, things would have been different. Sure they would have had friction for a little bit of time but at least they wouldn't have parted the way it did.

She suffered badly. So did he. She went through sessions, so did he. Frankly, he could not even remember the first couple of months after she left Starling. Half of the time he was drunk while the other half was usually spent unleashing the piled up anger and hurt inside of him. This was what made his family protective over him. His mother was on his side form the very beginning while his father, Grammy and Diggle had always been rooting for them.

Grammy didn't know the end of the scenario. And Oliver was glad that he had kept that from her mainly because he was ashamed of it. It was a moment he wasn't proud of, but had managed to convince himself over time after learning that Felicity had left the city with Palmer. Still he never talked to Grammy about it just told her that she left him for someone else-that being her old friend.

The three obviously didn't believe him. Well, initially neither did Tommy and Thea but when Oliver screamed at their faces. They were shocked seeing his reaction and he had thrown the papers he had signed without giving it much of a thought at their faces, screaming how much he hated her. He was drunk but not too much but then the gaze of his sister and friend became too much and he decided to go to a club. From there on, everything went hazy and he ended up screwing. He remembered kicking her out after Felicity visited him because all he could think about was her. There was a reason why he chose a brunette because she was _nothing _like Felicity. But then, he kept seeing her face and he remembered pushing her off the bed and then kicking her out. Later in the morning, he did manage to remember some parts of the conversation, his head hurting too much and although he felt ashamed for his moves, it all vanished when he heard that Felicity had left with Palmer.

Still, his father and Diggle tried to convince him otherwise. His father had threatened to throw him off the property if he quote enquote did not get his shit together but it was his mother who stopped him, telling him that their son happened to be in a vulnerable state. Now, he wished she hadn't. His mother had always been by his side, dropping the divorce papers at his door step the minute he stopped living with Felicity. He had scoffed in her face claiming he loved her but then that love became wary a couple of weeks later.

Diggle had punched the living daylights out of him. He had told him that he would regret doing this in the future and he did. Come to think of it, they had tried really hard but Felicity was literally off the planet, changing her phone number and not telling anyone where she was. Oliver knew but he didn't tell anyone so that they would stop bringing the topic up as it was useless and painful.

By the time they realized that Felicity was in Central City, it had already been too late. Oliver had started dating Laurel mainly because of the fact that she didn't put up questions, she just understood and stood by him. She didn't ask her to talk to Felicity and fix it like everyone did.

He had tried fixing it. He had made a small step. During his sessions, his psychiatrist had advised him to do so and he did. He had tried calling her twice but both times it was busy, he figured it was God's way of telling him it was never meant to me. At that point, he had also hoped he would hear from her when he was called to court for finalizing their divorce instead all he heard was that she wanted nothing from him.

He knew that would happen, but then again he didn't. He never expected her to cheat on him and he thought he didn't know her at all. And so he decided that she didn't deserve to be a part of his life and he wanted to move on and that is why he became the CEO. He wanted to move on without her.

And he did. It was painful and God, he loved her so much.

And he let her go without thinking so much.

It was a dick move.

And he regretted it so much.

His hand moved reaching for the frame that laid on Felicity's desk, his eyes becoming moist, a wry smile coming on his face as he stared at the two pictures kept in there.

They were once a happy family.

Until it got ruined.

Because of him.

All because of him.

…

When Thea found her brother cooped up in his house, she certainly didn't expect his expression to be so solemn and full of melancholy. His brother certainly didn't look the best and her heart started beating more fiercely if that was even possible, "Ollie, what's wrong?"

He didn't say anything for the first two seconds before breaking it to her, "Everything."

He made himself comfortable on the couch, his hands resting on the material gripping it tightly, his knuckles turning white and Thea bit her lip, her head tilting slightly, "Ollie?" She sounded hesitant.

"She never cheated." He whispered and Thea frowned, "She never cheated." Oliver looked at her, his eyes full of regret and that was when the realization began to dawn on Thea.

And her knees crippled.

…

_One Day Later_

To say that Tommy was shocked would be an understatement.

He was shaken to the core.

_Can't anyone just see or acknowledge that maybe it could have been the other way round? I can't believe you were my friend once, Tommy._

Was he really a friend though?

How come he didn't try to confront her? He was so blinded by his friend's pain that he didn't see his other best friend.

He basically chose him over her. Without even talking to her once.

She was right.

He should have known her better.

He frowned, the previous scenarios repeating in his mind and if he felt like an ass before, he felt like a bastard right now.

Tears dripped down Thea's cheeks as she told him what she had gotten to know the day before, her hands rushing to cocoon herself as he small body wracked with sobs, "I taunted her about Conner and Oliver, Tommy. I-I made it worse for her." She whispered, "I can't-I can't even look at the mirror. She was my best friend, Tommy. And I-" Tommy hugged her, his chin pressed over her brown mop of curls as she vented out, "I was horrible to her. I was a fucking bitch, Tommy."

"I know," He whispered, biting his lip.

He won't cry.

Thea needed him as this point. Oliver needed him. They had been blinded by anger and didn't see past it. His bottom lip quivered like a little child as recalled himself calling her a bitch and the hurt expression on her face.

How must had it feel for her? When he cheated on her and her so called _friends _sided with him instead of her.

"We just abandoned her, Tommy. She had…she had no one."

She didn't.

They went against her oh so easily and now Tommy felt disgusted with himself. All this while he had been vowing that he won't let her ruin Oliver's life while all the while they had been the ones who was ruining hers.

How do they come back from this?

Her hold on Thea tightened. She was like a sister to him and it hurt her to see her like this.

So was Felicity.

Who was there by her side?

It was ironic really. Here he was comforting Thea when she had done something _wrong _while no one was there for Felicity when all she wanted to do was right. He was "the brother she never wanted to have."

He stared at the floor, incoherent words blubbering out his mouth as his mind reeled back.

...

**December 2009**

_Tommy Merlyn was greeted by a weird sight when he entered Felicity's house. The recently engaged couple were lying on the floor instead of the couch, their faces towards each other. Felicity's palms were cupping his cheeks, her elbows against the floor while Oliver was sitting cross legged, a frown on his forehead. It took Tommy a second to realize that they were playing scrabble and it wasn't until Felicity cried out that Tommy realized it was a rather intense game, "You're cheating!"_

"_What?" Oliver glared at the board, "I'm not cheating!" _

"_Pivotable is no word, Oliver." She scoffed, sitting up and the person in question frowned, "It is." He reasoned, "It's-It is right there!" He pointed at the board, "You're just jealous because that word gave me 52 points." _

"_No, I'm not." Felicity crossed her arms, "It's pivotal. Not pivotable. That-" She pointed towards the table, "Is not a word."_

_Oliver's lip twitched, "It is."_

_Felicity tilted her head sideways, realization dawning on her, "You're doing this deliberately!" She narrowed her eyes at him, "Cheater." She whispered._

"_Well, it's a MIT grad versus a four time Ivy League dropout, what do you think?" He laughed a little and Felicity huffed, her shoulders going down, "But I was winning!"_

"_You always win." Oliver's eyebrow rose, "How about letting me win for once?"_

_Felicity contemplated for a second, "No." She crossed her arms, her smile full of amusement, "I always win."_

"_You do, Ms. Smoak, don't you?" He smiled at her, the game long forgotten._

"_Uhuh," Felicity nodded her head, "Always." She grinned brightly, a proud smile on her lips and Oliver leaned forward, Felicity meeting him half way as they kissed. _

_Tommy thought that was his cue and he finally cleared his throat causing the couple-who was close to making out- to stop. Oliver groaned, "Your timing sucks man!" _

"_You were the ones who invited me," Tommy raised his hand in surrender and Felicity's eyes widened with delight before she got up from the floor. Fixing her pyjamas for a second, she went inside her room and Tommy frowned while taking a seat on the couch. He took off his shoes, getting comfortable on it and Oliver glared at him, "You're planning on staying?"_

_Tommy laughed, "Damn right, I am." Oliver flung a letter at him. He whipped his head towards the kitchen, his eyes landing on the refrigerator, "Do you think she still has mint chip?" _

"_She always has mint chip." Oliver stated the obvious while beginning to put the letters in the box, "But you know the hard part is-"_

"_Getting her to share, I know." Tommy huffed._

"_I have Rocky Road for you guys," Felicity entered the room, her hands cupped together as she held something, "Mint chip is for special occasions. Like when you get your heart broken or your favourite couple break up-strictly special occasion. It's mine." She stated before moved her joined hands and Tommy realized they were little chits kept in there. They moved, mixing with each other and he sighed, "What now?"_

"_So, Oliver and I had a confusion," Felicity started as she sat in front of him, "Oliver was confused whether he wanted you as your best man or Digg," She looked at her fiancé and Tommy glared at him playfully, "We've been childhood friends, Queen. You're confused, really?"_

_Oliver flipped him off._

"_That is not the confusion!" Felicity started, "Okay maybe it is." She paused for a second as if thinking, "I am confused between Digg and you too." She mumbled before suddenly feeling a little shy, "I want one of you to give me away."_

_Tommy's face softened, a genuine smile coming on his lips, "Of course, I would."_

"_Merlyn, but Oliver wants you to be his best man as well!" She supplied, "And Digg too! Although this is kinda sweet," She smiled, showing her pearly whites, "Actually really sweet." _

"_The chits have our names, right?" He asked, looking at the four chits. Felicity nodded, "I would have asked Digg to do it but I think he might find it too childish."_

"_It is childish." Tommy's eyebrows, a laugh bubbling out of his lips._

"_All her," Oliver pointed towards Felicity who glared at him, "This was the only way!"_

"_Fine," Tommy huffed, "If my name comes out-" Felicity nodded, "You'll give me away." _

"_Fine." Tommy rubbed his hands in anticipation before blowing between them and picking one chit. Felicity watched him open it, her bottom lip tucking between her teeth, "What is it?"_

_He turned the chit but did not open it, "Drumroll, please?" He looked at Oliver who laughed before tapping his hands on the ground as if to create one. He opened the chit, "Tommy Merlyn!" He said with a delight and Felicity laughed._

"_So, John will be my best man."_

"_I guess so," Felicity grinned, discarding the rest of the chits on the couch._

"_I would still get to speak, right?"_

_Oliver's eyes widened, "No." And Felicity and Tommy shared a look, "Yes." They said in unison._

_Oliver groaned._

_He had a lot of things to talk about._

_An awful lot of things._

_Oliver huffed before picking up the game from the ground and making a beeline towards Felicity's room._

"_So, I'll walk you down the aisle." Tommy started and Felicity nodded, "Yeah."_

"_Like an honorary brother?" Hi eyebrows quirked._

"_An honorary unwanted brother."_

"_Geez Smoak, you love me so much."_

"_Always Merlyn," She smiled cheekily, "Although," She tapped her chin thoughtfully, "This does mean that whenever something happens, you'll choose my side, right? Since you gave me away." She laughed a little. "You're not his best man."_

"_Definitely your side."_

_Felicity winked at him. _

"_I'll remember that."_

_Yeah, she would._

…

The memory faded out from his mind and he felt worse than before if it was even possible. Thea just wouldn't stop crying, her body shaking and she ultimately uttered out the words that shocked him, "She..she tried committing suicide, you know? And-and-"

And that is when Tommy Merlyn finally crumbled.

…

_Two Days Later_

Oliver sighed to himself as he tried to read the text that was in the file. His eyelids drooped every now and then and he shook his head, trying to keep himself awake. His fingers rubbed his eyes, trying to snap his focus back. He ran a hand across his scruff before focusing his attention back towards the file.

He really hadn't been getting much sleep. During the nights, he usually stayed up awake, his mind reeling towards the past and the present day events.

Laurel had tried to talk to him but he instead had chosen to turn his face away from her mainly because he had a lot on his mind in that particular moment.

It had been two days since he had last talked to Felicity. The latter hadn't even batted an eyelash in his direction and that drove him towards frustration. Even when they despised each other, they was an emotion lingering in her eyes.

The situation wasn't any different from her side though. She still despised him.

Except she refused to acknowledge him.

And that is what hurt the most. Emotion is better than no emotion.

He honestly had lost hope. His mind tried to think of things just to make it better.

But how?

How can they come back from this?

He honestly had no fucking clue.

…

_Three Days Later_

John Diggle was pissed off.

He was really pissed off.

It had taken Felicity a couple of days to open up to him and he was glad that he did. He already had a nagging feeling that Oliver and Felicity finally had the talk that had been due for quite a long time considering how distracted the two of them usually looked. Still, he decided he would wait until Felicity told him what the entire situation was.

And she did.

Which was why he was standing right in front of Oliver's room. The latter opened the door, a frown adorning his face for a split second and he didn't even get the time to react as Diggle rammed his fist right into his face, "What the fuck, Digg?" Oliver screeched while pushing him away causing him to move back a little ever so slightly.

"That was for what you've done to Felicity. It's been long overdue, Queen." Diggle glared at him unabashedly, not regretting his move. Oliver blanched the minute realization dawned on him before biting back a groan and moving his hand towards his right eye, "I know that, alright?"

"Knowing is not enough, Oliver." He reasoned, "It clearly is not enough! All you've done is give that woman hell since she has arrived in this city." He crossed his arms, "I won't stand by and watch you do that anymore."

"Do you really think I would hurt her, Digg?" Oliver made his way towards the couch in his room, Diggle eyebrows furrowed, "That's all that you've doing from the beginning, isn't it?"

"I won't anymo-" His voice trailed off as his fiancé entered the room gasping the minute she saw his condition, "Ollie!"

Oliver moved away from her ever so slightly, flinching as she touched his eye, "What did you do, John?!"

"Ask your fiancé." He spat before turning his head towards Oliver, "You say that you won't hurt her Oliver while all you've been doing-still doing it." Oliver frowned at that, not understanding the meaning behind them, "You don't deserve her." He ended the conversation from his end, his eyes lingering on Laurel whose focus was on Oliver, "You really don't."

Oliver pushed Laurel away the minute he saw John leave, "I'm-I'm okay," He mumbled.

_You don't deserve her._

Did he think that he did not know that?

"Ollie, this-"

"I'm okay, Laurel."

He really wasn't okay.

…

Moira dabbed the cloth in hot water before pressing it over it over her son's eye who flinched a little, "Sorry, sweetheart." She whispered while doing so before sighing sadly, "I'm sorry, Oliver. This all is-it's my fault."

"Mom-"

"No, I brought those papers. I wanted you to divorce her…I should have seen," She mumbled, ashamed of herself, "I should have realized. I coaxed you to do it. I should have-"

"It was my fault, Mom." Oliver cut her off, his voice full of guilt, "I- I should have trusted her. I loved her, Mum. I married her. I should have talked to her instead of cheating on her-"

Cheating on her.

Moira had looked past that.

Yes, she was disappointed.

But she looked past Oliver's deed.

She considered Felicity like a daughter. And the minute they parted ways, she started thinking for her son. Sure, she cared for Felicity but Oliver was her _son _which was what forced her to come to a decision that they were better off without each other.

She saw how her son reacted to her. But then, slowly and steadily they found their way back to each other and Moira was happy. She was happy if her they were happy. But then, out of nowhere they broke up and when she got to know the reason, it took her by surprise and she had no believed it initially, but then her ex-daughter in law left the city and her son was in a vulnerable state which made her realize that he was indeed speaking the truth.

Except it wasn't the truth.

Post that, she was fuelled by anger. She had left her son for another man and seeing her son suffer broke her heart and all she wanted was to make her realize of her mistake. That she wasn't the woman people made her out to be – her _husband _made her out to be.

Except she was wrong.

Oh, so wrong.

And now she regretted every second of it. Maybe if she had reached the root of the cause, rather than assuming things would have been different.

Way different.

"Cheat on her?"

Oliver turned his head and his eyes widened as he came face to face with his grandmother who was standing near the stairs, "Did you cheat on her?"

Oliver didn't know how to answer her.

Yes, he did. He wanted to utter but how?

How would his Grammy react to this?

"Yes, I did."

His grandmother's eyes widened and Oliver looked away, feeling way to guilty.

Yes, he did.

…

_Four Days Later_

"Hey mom," Felicity mumbled as she laid on her bed, her head on her pillow, the iPad resting in front of her, "How are you?"

"Felicity! Sweetheart!" Donna cheered, a bright smile on her lips and Felicity smiled back, although it didn't reach her eyes. Her eyes lingered on her bed, not meeting her mother's eyes and the latter frowned, "What's wrong?"

Felicity tried to laugh it off, "What do you mean, what's wrong? I'm fine."

"Felicity."

"I'm fine mom," Felicity assured her, "So, how did your day go?"

Donna sighed as she stared at her daughter's solemn face.

Something was wrong.

She just hoped that it would get better soon.

…

_Five Days Later_

"So, you got the acquisition?"

"Yes," Felicity answered, her hands joining together on the table top. Oliver nodded his head at Walter who smiled widely, "That's good. When will Ted Kord be returning?"

"Twentieth March," Oliver supplied and Walter nodded, "And then we'll sort it out. I like this. I'll handle Isabel Rochev," He smiled at Felicity who sighed in relief. "Thank you."

"Robert was right. You two really make a great team."

Felicity turned her head towards Oliver instinctively only to find staring right back at him. His gaze was intense and Felicity involuntarily bit her lip.

Was he thinking about her too?

Sometimes she got frustrated with herself. Her mind always reeled back to him. It is often said that if you hate a person, they are on your mind and if you love them they are in your heart. _Either way you're thinking about them. _

Why can't she just stop thinking about him? She had decided to let go and now that she thought of it, she couldn't remember the last time she talked to Oliver.

But still he was on her mind either way, wasn't he?

Team.

Yeah, they were a great team, weren't they?

She turned her head away the next moment, her senses snapping back before smiling at Walter. The latter smiled back before the two started to head out.

"Felicity-"

She didn't hear him, heading towards the fire staircase instead of choosing to stand beside him and wait for the lift.

Entering the fire staircase area she sighed to herself, her fingers twitching. She closed her eyes momentarily before rubbing her hand across her face.

She really needed to get him off her mind.

…

_Six Days Later_

"Felicity?" The lady in question looked up only to find the person, she least expected to be there.

Well, two people to be very precise.

"What are you two doing here?"

"I really didn't-"Thea moved her hand in the air awkwardly, "We really didn't-" She pointed towards Tommy as well, "wanted to meet you here during work but.." Her voice trailed off as if unsure of what to say, "We didn't know where your house was, so."

"You wanted to meet me?" Surprise was evident in her tone, "Why?"

_Why?_

They had reached that stage of their so called relationship that even talking to her properly or just meeting her sounded weird to her ears.

They were too far gone.

"Felicity," Her eyes furrowed when she heard Tommy speak to her in a _polite _tone and a second later everything clicked, "He told you everything, didn't he?"

"Yeah-"

"And now you expect everything to go back normal,"

"No, I don't." Thea started hastily, "I mean, of course things will take time but I just-we just wanted to apologize. I mean I don't think we're worth it and-"She looked at Tommy helplessly, her eyes full of tears when Felicity didn't say anything.

"Felicity," Tommy started, his hands tucked in his pocket, "I-I don't know where to start."

"You sure as hell did know that before," Felicity finally gritted out and Thea stared at her realizing that she was close to crying.

Felicity had imagined this situation a thousand of times.

When she parted ways, she didn't exactly go off the planet in the very first go. Sure her dad had called her post the event and she did have the opportunity to tell him but at that point, she didn't because she didn't want him to stop her. She knew her dad would have convinced her to stay and she _didn't _want to stay. She did not. A couple of days later however, she had tried calling him again, wanting to explain and maybe even talk to Thea, Tommy or John – hell anyone, about her situation. She wasn't in the right mind but she felt like she owed them an explanation as to why she had to leave. She was afraid because of course she was, what if they thought the same things about her as Oliver?

Still, Ray had forced her and she had gathered the little amount of courage she had in her and called her dad only for to Thea to pick up the phone.

The conversation was still pretty clear in mind where she spat about how she had ruined their lives and how much she hated her.

And that is when Felicity realized that she was right. Her worst fear had come true, his family thought about her the same way.

She was a murderer.

A bitch.

A gold digger.

That is what she was, wasn't she?

And that is when she figured out that it was better to not talk to them and she didn't.

They hated her after all.

It was pretty clear to the media too.

And then after a year and a half or so, her dad contacted her. She started talking to John and finally started to get a few things back on track.

Sometimes, she wondered what if it wasn't Thea who had picked up her phone that night? What if it had been her dad?

Things would have been really different.

"I deserve that," His voice sounded small, "I know we don't deserve this. But Felicity we didn't know-"

"You didn't know me at all." Felicity added, "You didn't stand up for me before Tommy," She glared at the man, "Don't ruin it by standing up for me now." She declared firmly. This resulted in a reaction from the person in question, "I-it was a mistake-"

"Mistake." Felicity stood up and Thea realized she was crying as well, "It is so easy for you to say that, right?" She paused, "How convenient! When you want to insult me, you do. And when you want to talk to me, you do. "She stated, "What am I, huh? What does this family think of themselves?!" She finally burst out loud, reaching her saturation point.

Yes, she had.

What did this family think of themselves?

One minute they are taunting her about her late son and the next minute, they want to patch up and they expect her too?

Thea cried out, "That is not what we meant, Felicity. We don't deserve forgiveness and we know that."

"You don't. I'm not someone's punching bag, Thea. You can't fix this just because you find it convenient," She sniffed, rubbing her cheeks, "Aren't you afraid I would start ranting about how I lost my son and husband? Aren't you?"

Thea didn't know what to say. She bit her lip, tears streaming down her cheeks, her eyes downcast.

"And you?" She looked towards Tommy, "You were like a _brother_ to me," She spat the word out with disgust, "But you warned me," She pointed towards herself, "To stay away from him. Because I ruined _his _life?!"

"You were supposed to be my friends," She whispered, "I never expected you to side with anyone but I did expect you to not hate me," She turned her face away, her hand reaching to wipe away the moisture at the corner of her eyes, "I lost my son, I lost my husband," She looked at Thea while uttering the last words, "I lost my family."

Tommy shook his head, his own eyes moist, "Don't-we were stupid-"

"Damn right, you were." She agreed, "Get out."

"Felicity- "Thea started, "Please-"

"Get the fuck out!" She screamed at the top of her voice, "Just get out!" She pointed towards the door. Tommy and Thea didn't move.

"Please," She whispered, her voice wavering, "Just leave me alone." A set of twin tears rolled down her cheeks, "Just leave."

They did.

Casting her wary glances, the two left-tears marring their own face.

It wasn't enough.

It just wasn't enough.

…

_Eleven Days Later_

"I don't know!" Oliver yelled out for the umpteenth time as the psychiatrist asked her if he loved Felicity.

"She is-she is different." He mumbled, running a hand across his unshaven cheek. "I don't want to talk about it." He stated, firmly.

This topic was too painful.

"I just can't sleep. I need pills." He stated his problem, "Just get me some damn pills! I'm not here to talk about my life,"

He really wasn't. He just wasn't able to sleep for the past days. Eating, sleeping-he was deprived of everything. This situation was similar to the one he had three years ago, post Felicity leaving but it was different as well because the frustration piled up inside of him was too much.

Because it was he who was at fault.

Not Felicity.

" , you have to talk about your problem."

"I don't want to."

"I just need to sleep," He mumbled, all throughout the night, what he thought about was how he could make up to Felicity. How he could fix it.

When he did go to sleep, his mind was plagued with nightmares-_memories, _his brains supplied to him. They were memories. How he demeaned her, her broken expression-how-

_He just needed pills_

…_._

_Fifteen Days Later_

"We can chop his balls off," Grammy suggested as she distributed the playing cards between Felicity and her.

"Grams," Felicity laughed and her grandmother just shrugged, "The guy is a dick, Felicity. I should have slapped him a long time ago," They have been meeting each other for the past few day and Felicity was glad. Initially, yes their conversations were filled with tears but now that wasn't the case.

"These are not fifty two cards," Grammy stared at the collection and Felicity looked at it, "I have one more. I must have lost these ones back at home." She said, referring to her house in Central City.

Managing playing cards was a tough thing to do.

"I'll go get it." She muttered before getting up and heading towards her room. She made a beeline towards her shelf where she thought she might have kept it. Her eyes blinked behind her glasses as she tried searching for them, suddenly stopping when she found a little box kept on it.

Her heart thudded as she realized what was inside it.

She didn't know what compelled her to do this but she opened it anyway. Despite the fact that she knew what was inside it, she chose to open it.

It was a jewellery box. A couple of ornaments were kept inside it, something that she usually wore three years ago, a simple pendant, a set of earring and-

A ring.

Her wedding ring.

She held it between her fingers the next second, her thumb engraving the words written on it.

_Forever Yours._

She remembered teasing him about the text on it before gushing on it.

She had really loved this ring.

Which is why she guessed she never had the heart to throw it away. Oliver had thrown away his but she never had the heart to throw hers away.

She didn't know why.

….

**December 2009**

"_Do you want an engagement ring?" Oliver spoke, his warm breath tickling her ear as his arms tightened around her waist._

_Felicity didn't say anything for a second, a moan escaping her lips when Oliver's teeth grazed her ear, "Huh?"_

"_I don't know," Felicity answered, tilting her head sideways as Oliver trailed kisses down her neck. She closed her eyes, sighing softly before Oliver reached her cheek and dropped a kiss there, "I think you should."_

"_Yeah?" She turned her head towards him, "I think this ring is good. Where did you get this idea from though?" She laughed and Oliver thought about it for a second, "I read it on the internet. I wanted it to be special and I couldn't find the perfect engagement ring. The wedding bands are simple with texts on them, so I figured.." His voice trailed off. _

_She turned around in a second, "So, it was an easy way out?" She slapped his arm playfully, "Ow! No, it wasn't! The wedding ring was hard to find too!" He reasoned, "I wanted it to be perfect."_

_Felicity grinned, "It was." She said, moving her hand in the air, wanting to look at it. Ever since she had been wearing this ring, she could not stop looking at it. _

_It was perfect._

"_So, engagement ring?"_

_She looked at him, her eyes lighting up, "I don't think I need one," She whispered softly, "I'm happy with this one."_

"_You sure?" He twitched his fingers and Felicity moved her hands over his, aware of this habit of his, "I'm absolutely sure, Oliver." She grinned. "I mean, I'm pretty sure that if I do wear an engagement ring over my wedding ring and then move my hand, it will fall." She tilted her head sideways, "Actually, if I just wiggle my fingers, I think it will fall. If I do get a ring, I won't be happy if I lose it."_

"_We can get a new one."_

_Felicity sighed, moving her arms, wounding them around Oliver's neck, "The original one is special, isn't it? And my original one is this one," She smiled, "I don't need anything else."_

"_Nothing?"_

"_Nothing." She whispered, "Just you." She neared her face to his as their noses touched each other, "Just me." He echoed before kissing her._

"_But you do know that if you do lose this ring, I can buy you a new one?"_

"_I am never going to lose this ring, Oliver."_

_Never._

…

She sighed as she kept it back in the box, resuming her search for the cards.

Never had she told him.

Never.

…

It was fifteen days later did Oliver snap.

He was in his house, the television playing in the background, his attention focused somewhere else. And suddenly, the frustration kicked in.

He was broken.

He had lost the one thing that had kept him grounded and wasted three years over hating her for nothing.

He didn't sleep.

He didn't eat.

He didn't remember the last time he had a proper shower.

It's like he had lost the will…to live.

He didn't know what happened.

His eyes flickered towards his left hand, not finding his wedding band there. His mind reeled back to 2012 where he had thrown away his wedding ring in this very room and something happened.

He got up, his hands moving hastily around the couch, "My ring." He mumbled. His wedding ring was something that he had thrown away, the band reminding him of the bond that Felicity had apparently broken.

"My ring," He croaked out, "It was right here!" He threw the ring in this very room! It should be here! He lifted up the chair, turning it upside down. He moved around the room frantically trying to look for his wedding band but he couldn't find it.

Where the fuck was his ring?!

"Where's my-"He started hyperventilating in that particular moment. The room was a mess, his ring still missing and he needed it.

Where was it?

He had lost the ring, just like he lost her. He had thrown it away just like he had thrown their relationship away and now-he couldn't find it.

_Either of them. The ring and her._

_He couldn't have it._

His breath deepened as he landed on his knees. Black appeared before his eyes and his hands landed on the floor.

Tears streamed down in his face and in that moment Oliver Queen broke.

He had _nothing._

Nothing.

_Sixteen Days Later_

Oliver blinked, his hand running across his unshaven cheek as his fingers moved across the laptop, wanting to set this presentation straight.

Every now and then, his eyes flickered towards Felicity who was sitting at the other end of the conference room, sipping her coffee as she worked on a couple of files.

They were supposed to have a meeting day after tomorrow with different people from different divisions. Because of the acquisition and new CEOs, they wanted to set new targets for the company which they wanted to discuss with them.

Felicity bit her lip as her eyes flickered towards Oliver.

He looked _horrible._

He had dark circles under his eyes, his blue irises full of fatigue. It was clear that he wasn't getting any sleep or he wasn't eating for that matter. She wouldn't like to admit it to herself, but it did concern her.

It did

His phone rang breaking away the silence in the conference room, "Hey Laurel,"

Felicity tried to distract herself as much as she could.

"Yes, I had lunch." He answered to her and Felicity's eyebrows rose, her eyes zeroing on Oliver, "I just went to café downtown," He answered oh so causally and Felicity didn't really mean to eavesdrop but then again, she couldn't stop her ears from hearing, could she?

"Yeah, I'll go to John's house tonight. Sara is all alone," He responded and Felicity tuned out of the conversation, choosing to stick to her own work.

It was later did she open her mouth. Even though she shouldn't have said it, she ended up saying it anyway, "When you can't lie, then why do you lie?" He didn't have lunch, he hadn't been having lunch for quite a long time.

Oliver's eyes snapped towards her, "Huh?"

"When you can't lie, Oliver. Why do you even try?" She asked before getting up and Oliver stared at her figure as she got out of the conference room.

"Only you," He whispered under his breath and he was sure that Felicity hadn't heard him.

Except she had.

…

Later that night, Oliver had found himself at John's house. A.R.G.U.S had recruited both John and Lyla for a mission and hence the latter turned to Oliver for taking care of her daughter, the former had been pissed off for quite a long time though.

He didn't had to do much. There was a nanny at Sara's place who had to leave by nine thirty and Oliver had to stay there with his goddaughter. She was absolutely adorable and the best person to hang out with, so he was up for it.

He entered the house before placing the dinner he had got from his home followed by being greeted by Sara, "Uncle Ollie!" She shrieked before launching herself at him and it took him a second to pick her up, "How's my Sara Bear?"

"Awesome!" She echoed the word that her Aunty Felicity had taught her, "Awesome, huh?" Oliver laughed before dropping a kiss on her forehead.

"Will we have fun today?"

"Of course, we will." He winked at her, "But we'll sleep right at eleven, okay?"

Sara whined, "But-"

"Eleven, Sara."

"Fine." She sighed, "There is a girl in my room." She talked about her nanny, "She said she wanted to see you."

"Then let's go meet her,"

"She said you were handsome." She wrinkled her nose, "I don't like boys. They have cooties."

Oliver laughed, "That's right, Bear. You're not allowed to like boys."

"Not even you?"

"You don't like me, Sara. You _love _me."

"I do." She hugged him tightly and Oliver laughed.

After an awful long time.

He laughed.

….

The time was ten forty five and Oliver was sitting on the couch, his hands rubbing his cheeks. He was utterly exhausted.

Deciding that he would watch TV for a little while, he looked around for the remote when-

"Uncle Ollie?"

Oliver turned only to find the almost four year old on the door step of her bedroom, "Sara, I thought you were sleeping."

The little girl grinned a little, her brown eyes wide, "Did you eated the dinner?"

Oliver walked towards her, "_Ate,_" He ruffled her hair, "And no, Uncle Ollie is not hungry."

Sara gasped, "You should though!" She moved past him, her bare feet heading towards the kitchen and Oliver frowned, "Sara..?"

Sara stared at the microwave in wonder before she opened it and placed the food in there. She frowned before turning towards Oliver, "I can't work it. Mommy said no. And so did-"

"I am not hungry, Sara."

"No, we should eat our food. You should eat it!"

Oliver sighed as he heated the food up before he placed it on the kitchen counter. Grabbing a chair for himself, he made Sara sit on the slab, "Happy?"

"Very." She grinned, "You should eat food. I read it. It makes you strong." She mumble, moving her arm to show her bicep, "Very strong."

Oliver laughed, "You're John's daughter. I expect you to be strong."

Sara nodded her head.

And for the first time in a long while, Oliver Queen had a proper dinner.

…

Sara made her way towards her room. On the way, she managed to pick up the cordless phone. She glared at the black device for a second before pressing the button that her parents had taught her not long ago.

She waited for the other person to pick up and almost screamed when she did, "Aunty Fee!" She squealed.

"_Sara! How's my baby doing?"_

"I'm awesome," Sara answered and she heard her aunt laugh from the other end. "He ate the food."

"_He did?"_

"Yeah, just like you said." She echoed, "He did not eated it."

"_But Sara worked her magic, didn't she?"_

"Yeah, she did. And I did not touch the micowave. " Her dark hair moved as she nodded.

"_Good girl."_

"Will I get chocolates tomorrow?"

"_Lots of chocolates!" She laughed. "Now, come on it's late. How about I tell you a story?"_

"Yes!" She cheered before making herself comfortable on her princess bed.

"_Once upon time.."_

"Sara, come on let's go to-" Oliver's voice died down in his throat when he saw Sara sleeping in her bed, a phone placed against her ear, "Sleep?" His statement ended at a wrong note. He made his way towards Sara, slowly taking away the phone from her and then placed it against his ear.

"_And then the dragon ro-"_

"Felicity?"

He heard her breath hitch at the other end and before he could utter any other word out, she had hung up.

He stared at Sara who was sleeping soundly before leaning down and kissed her forehead.

He stared the phone in his hand, his fingers curling around it tightly.

He really did need to set things right, didn't he?

Especially when she cared so much.

A small smile came on his face, she cared.

But how could she?

Despite everything, _why _did she?

….

_Seventeen Days Later_

Felicity was meeting Conner after seventeen days. She had wanted to come here, but the circumstances were too complicated and even though she missed her baby, she didn't come in here.

Not anymore.

Placing the flowers she had gotten for her dad and Conner on their respective graves, she smiled wryly.

Her eyes turned moist as she got down on her knees, her hands moving to touch the gravestone of her son, "Hey guys."

"So, it's been a while since I've been here," Her voice broke but she didn't falter. She talked to them. It was something that she had started a while ago and it might break her heart to know that she would never receive a response from the other end, she did talk because it felt good.

"So, it's been a while since I've visited you two." She started, "But I wasn't able to. Sorry for that, I know." She spoke, "So, let's just say that I've had a pretty sucky time lately. I-I don't know what to do anymore." Her voice suddenly turned a whisper, "I really don't."

"I-I thought I had moved on but-but the pain," She looked at her father's grave, "It still feels raw dad, it still feels raw."

"This is not moving on..is it?" She almost cried, "But-But I did! He destroyed me again," She whispered, "He did it again, dad. He did it again." The tears were finally let lose at that point.

Unbeknownst to her, there was someone listening to her conversation.

Oliver hid behind the tree as he watched his ex-wife interact with his late son and father. He had just been here to see them but coincidently, Felicity had come in at the same time

Hearing her say those words made his heart sink and he himself had tears in his eyes.

She was right.

He had destroyed her.

He had uttered those words out and had demolished her belief. She was working on it-it was because of _him _she believed that she didn't deserve to live. That she was his killer. If he would have been right beside her, situations would have been different.

Come to think of it, he had been so frustrated about talking to her, somehow joining their pieces back together that he didn't think of this.

The answer had been staring right at his face all this while.

In that particular moment, Oliver Queen had decided.

He wanted to fix things because he wanted to make things right for her.

And the first step of it was to make her realize she was worth it. That she deserved this life. That she didn't kill Conner.

Yes, she might have tried to move on. She had started the journey towards the tunnel but darkness blocked her.

Oliver would make sure she would reach the end of it.

She needed those small steps towards closure. She needed that reality check and if it was because of Oliver Queen her belief had wavered and her spirit had taken a hit then it would be him who would piece it back together.

She was surviving with Conner's memories, she wasn't living. She felt these small pangs of fear, she still wished it was she who should have died.

She was _surviving._

And it was because of him.

But it was time to redeem himself.

If he was the one who destroyed her, then he would be the one to piece her back together.

He would make her realize that life was worth living and would fix the mess he made.

Yes, he would.

He would make her see that she was worth it.

He would make her realize that Conner was gone…_and it was time to let him go._

_Because in the end, all that mattered was her happiness._

_Just her happiness._

…

**That was it x**

**Hope you liked it **

**Do review :D**

**I love you all **

**Thank you x **

**Srishti **


	18. Author's Note

**Author's Note**

Okay, so this author's note is regarding the reviews that are complaining about my update schedule. I have quite a lot of reviews who are 'disappointed with me', from ConstantlyWaitin-who time again tries to remind of the fact that I didn't update and To top it all, I have reviews that tell me that I have no right _over _my fanfic, that I'm a bitch and that I should get an update schedule and get to writing.

I don't get it. I really don't. The reason why the last chapter took so much of time was because of the fact that I needed to line up the next arc of the story. The hate arc was over and now it was a different story that needed to progress. I needed to write and plan the story for _you _guys.

That is why I didn't give an update date because it would have taken time and I knew that.

I have always said that it was a two way street and yes, it was. And I am keeping the end of my bargain. I did _not _give an update day. I have a six hour test this week and I'm sorry, if I have my priorities lined up somewhere else.

The only reason why you love this fanfic is because I worked hard on it. And I didn't have to. I have review telling me that "there's no excuse for this". Let me tell you one thing, I don't get paid for writing this. The only reason I write is because I love to. You guys encourage me and make me want to write, but I am not going stand such behaviour. You're not the boss of me. If I respect you, I believe I deserve some respect too.

People complain about my twitter activity. It is mylife! I can go on twitter if I want to, I can write if I want to-my entire choice. Is it bad that I reply to you guys on twitter? I tweeted that I'll update on Thursday but somehow that people who kept a tab my twitter activities didn't see that I promised to update on Thursday and I did. This chapter is taking time as well, because I have my school and test lined up.

**I am not able to write a 13k chapter almost every week because of my schedule, I'm sorry. People ask me to update, doesn't that show my commitment? I owe you guys this fanfic, please be a little polite with me too. That is all I ask.**

A reviewer said that you don't listen to people. I wanted to message you all, but all of you are guest reviewers, I didn't know how to.

I was about to update later this week and then the week after that saying that I could finally get on track with this fanfic as my studies have subsided. But the reviews told me another story. Two chapters and you guys start this. I thought we were past it, I never hid from my mistake. I readily admitted I was late and apologized. I said it was a two way street.

When I give an update date, I meet with a problem. When I don't give an update date, I meet with a problem. I started writing because I loved writing…I didn't expect this and I don't like it. Did any of you think what must be going on with me?

It is easy to sit on the other side of the computer and read a fanfic, rather than realizing how much has the author worked on it. I write almost every day and google stuff and plan it because I want things to make sense. I stay up until late just to write. Please give me a little respect.

I've always said that WE reached this mark. WE did it. It is a two way street. This fanfic would be incomplete without either of us. So, if I am grateful to you guys for reading it, you should be grateful to me too.

Writing fanfic is something that I love doing. I do not get paid for this. I write fanfics for you. I respect you and I would like some respect for myself as well. I've always encouraged you guys to tell me about my mistakes, because it makes me better. And I've always accepted them heartily if they are said properly. Constructive criticism is appreciated, flames are not. Someone told me to make a schedule and I did incorporate the fanfic in my schedule. That is an advice. Telling me that I'm a bitch and I have no right to be late, well that is a flame and I'm sorry I won't tolerate it. Next time, a polite "update please" would suffice. And the next time you decide to comment on my life and my personal "Twitter" activity, let me tell you it is my life. If I want to go on twitter, I would.

**I'm not here to tell people what I've done. You have done so much as well. You patiently wait for it and that is something I am grateful to you for. I probably won't be writing so enthusiastically had it not been your support. But I want a little respect in return too.**

…

And to constantlywaitin, I'm sorry if you are not liking this. I encourage you to stop reading then. I'm sorry I wasn't able to meet your expectations. I'm a little flattered cause of the attention though.

…

If you guys can't keep up the update schedule than I suggest you stop reading the fanfic. And if you can't leave a proper review than I suggest you don't because it only shows what kind of a person you are and the review count of my fanfic goes up.

…

This is the last time this issue would be addressed because I have some awesome people who love this fanfic and they deserve my attention over you.

…

**HEY GUYS! How are you? Since the rant is over…(peeks over the laptop) Wait, you still with me, right?**

**How is everyone?**

**I hope you guys are fine and I'm so sorry if you thought this was an update :p **

**But guess what?**

**I'll be updating this Friday (and finally reply to a lot many people) and then hopefully next Friday too. (crosses fingers)**

**A fanfic's success is a two way street and you guys have stuck by me all along. Thank you so much!**

**I sinceriously love you guys x**

**See you guys on Friday **

**Srishti **


	19. Chapter Seventeen : Fixing It

**Hey guys, how are you all?**

**Hope everything is going well xD**

**So this chapter just happens to be like an important filler and I hope you like it :)**

**Thank you so much for the support during the author's note. The amount of reviews I received for overwhelming and thank you for supporting me.**

**My intent was not to be rude. I might have come a bit strong at a few points but my intent wasn't to be rude. My only point was, that I deserved some respect as well. That was it. **

**As for the two way street we decided on. I have admitted it in the past I didn't update on time, apologized and then, I told we'll set up a timeline that I can stick too. In the last two chapters I didn't give a timeline and that is why the reviews got to me. Anyways, let's put it past us. The last two months had been hectic and I didn't have the time. But I now I do. Hopefully I'll be able to update more.**

**This chapter is small as compared to others and it happens to be like a filler. I hope you guys like it. **

**Thanks to each and every one of you for their unconditional support **** Thank you so so much x**

**I love you all.**

**Not betaed at the moment. If you find any mistakes, they are all mine and you can either ignore them or tell them to me politely.**

**Word Count :6645**

**Disclaimer : I don't own anything that seems familiar.**

"**You can dwell on it for the rest of your life. **

**That is death.**

**Or you can let it go and move on.**

**That is life."**

**Chapter Seventeen : Fixing it**

Happiness.

All it mattered was her happiness.

The answer had been right in front of his face all along.

All this while, he wanted to _fix _it.

Why?

Because he didn't want to see her in pain. They were somethings that he hadn't admitted to himself that he had started admitting himself now. Like, how he didn't like to see her in pain. When he used to hurt her, a small part of him flinched-wanted to turn his face away because he couldn't see her that way.

He supressed that part because the situation demanded something else. His thoughts used to run only to stop at one thing.

She cheated on him with Ray.

And so, he coaxed himself into believing that what he was doing was right. That she deserved every bit of it.

Except she didn't.

She didn't. And that is what Oliver wanted to fix. He wanted to make things better between the two of them because he had caused her enough pain as it is. It took him literal seconds to take away the family that had she had held so dear all this time. He didn't understand her pain. He did not. Sure, he had lost his son too but at least he had people to take care of him.

She did not.

These were thoughts that had been invading his mind for so long. He wanted to make things better for her. He couldn't see her in pain. Especially when he deserved it. She didn't do anything wrong and yes, he was in pain at the moment but so was she. She had stood up for herself against his family but Oliver could see past those walls. She needed someone.

He needed to make it better.

It wasn't about him assuming the worst (which is a mistake in its own self) but also about _him _cheating on her.

How did he expect her to forgive him for same thing he assumed she did?

How?

And now he had realized that the answer did not lie in fixing their relationship.

Because, what was there to fix?

Did he deserve forgiveness?

_No, he did not._

Even he couldn't forgive himself. How did he expect Felicity to?

"_I don't know what you're going through," His psychiatrist had chimed when he didn't speak much, "But it's something that's eating you up on the inside. You're ashamed of something. I can't help you this way, Oliver." She smiled sadly, "Only you can help yourself. Only you can repair what is broken."_

"_I can't," He had whispered, "She won't listen."_

"_Well, then Oliver, does it really matter if she listens to you? Maybe you don't deserve her word of mouth at this point. Maybe talking isn't really the solution-"_

"_I don't what is."_

"_Well, I don't know what the problem is." She blinked, "But I do know, if she doesn't listen to you than maybe you should show her. Some things can't be forgiven that easily, you know? They just can't."_

This thing can't be fixed so easily.

Instead of talking, he needed to show her.

He needed to show it to himself.

And maybe in this way he would be able to redeem himself.

Or maybe he won't.

But at least she would be happy. At least, she would lead a good life, a kind of life she deserves.

Because in the end that is all what mattered.

He had broken her trust. He had made her believe that it was she killed their son. It was she who ruined him.

It was time he pieced it back together.

Did he care about the fact that she would hated him?

Yes, he did.

Was it the most important thing to at this point?

No, it wasn't.

And maybe it had taken him this long for the realization to dawn on him.

But it had.

It definitely had.

He peeked a little, his hand resting on the bark of the tree, his eyes landing on the back of Felicity's head. He saw it move a bit before she got up and Oliver moved, hiding his body behind the said tree. The last thing he needed was her catching him. He was sure that she wouldn't react well to that.

He relaxed visibly when Felicity started walking away, his head turning right only to see her retreating figure.

But a second later, she stopped, her body stiffening before she turned around. Oliver luckily, had changed his position, this time hiding on the other side and thankfully, still out of Felicity's vision.

"Felicity?" He heard his mother mutter and he realized that this was probably the first meeting that they were having since they had discovered how much had he screwed in life. "What are you doing here?" Unlike the previous scenarios, her tone didn't have any malice, instead it was full of curiosity.

"I thought I-" She mumbled, her weight falling on her right foot as she moved her head a little, trying to see clearly, "I thought Ol-" The word died down on her lips as she shook her head as if trying to shrug that thought off.

He couldn't be here, right?

She was being delusional.

Making an about turn, she fought the urge to roll her eyes when she saw Moira, who for once wasn't glaring at her, "Typical," She muttered under her breath before moving past the said lady, choosing not to even cast her a look.

Oliver sighed as he watched his ex-wife leave, his eyes meeting his mother's. The latter's were filled with an emotion he rarely got to see in her eyes-regret.

That was all they could feel these days, wasn't it?

Regret.

So much of regret.

His eyes shifted towards the ground, landing on the graves that belonged to his son and dad. He never really talked to them-like Felicity did. Sure, it did cross his mind once or twice but the idea of just sitting there and receiving no response just seemed painful. His psychiatrist had advised him to do this the first time round but he hesitated. She had said that it would make him better, make him get used to the pain and make him realize that they were around him no matter what.

It was bullshit to be frank.

They were _dead. _

_Period._

_Gone._

And Oliver had realized this truth at an early stage that Conner was dead. He had forced himself to get to that realization that his son was gone. He had to. His wife still wasn't in terms with it and so, he pushed aside his own grief so that he could comfort her. He couldn't afford to lose him wife as well and she needed him. But then, he reached his saturation point and he needed some time. Some time-to just be away from all of it. It was way too overwhelming. The grief, the cries-he just wanted to be away.

And then, things started to get better only for him to ruin it all. Assuming that she cheated could be forgiven, but cheating itself, could not be. And then, when she left he became depressed. Alcohol was his only friend and he found himself crying almost all the time. But then, he went through sessions and he did get better, but the void was still there. The sessions helped him realize what he really was angry at-

Himself. There was a time, where he thought that he didn't deserve her and the sessions had helped him overcome this insecurity but as he let go of it, all that was left behind was anger and grief. He would cry for hours and break things and just-just try not to think about her-about them.

To top it all, his family members were telling him to talk to her while some were telling him to forget about her. Tommy and Thea tried their best to comfort him. John, his dad and his grandmother were forcing him to talk to her. To just know where she was, but Oliver didn't tell them. Laurel was probably the only one who didn't say anything and that is how he became close to her. But dating? That had never been on his mind, Felicity was the one for it but when Laurel suggested it, Oliver couldn't deny because why not? Felicity was with someone else, he could be with someone else too. And so he started dating her.

His family thought he was getting better, but it still felt hollow on the inside. He wanted to move on without her and make her realize that she didn't govern his life.

(She did.)

But it still felt like she did. He used to think about her all the time. Despite dating Laurel, he imagined how she would react to this. And so he decided to carry on with his life, because that seemed to be the only way to _forget _her. And he thought about becoming the CEO-things that he had planned on doing with her, he started doing it on his own.

Because he was left all alone, wasn't he?

Staring at the graves, he frowned. How did Felicity do it? Did it actually help her? Didn't it hurt, just sitting there and talk? It was one thing to visit them, but it was another thing to talk to them. Because, let's face it-it was delusional and painful.

He won't be hearing the cackle of his son ever again or be on the receiving end of his father's wrath. They were gone. Period.

And they weren't coming back.

So, talking to them was pointless.

But Felicity did it. Was it actually worth it?

"I-" He started, his eyes shifting back and forth, "I don't do this-"

"Oliver?"

He pivoted his head in his mother's direction who wanted to talk to him. He sighed before tucking his hands in the pocket of his jeans and the rolled his eyes at the graves, "Bullshit." He muttered under his breath before heading towards his mother.

Talking to them would just be painful.

Fucking painful.

….

Oliver started trying.

Well, he tried to try. Honestly, at this point all he needed was help. He tried to talk to Diggle but the latter had been giving him a cold shoulder for quite a while. He thought about talking to Thea and Tommy but before talking to them, he wanted to figure this out. Just merely thinking about this wasn't the solution.

But how? He didn't how to start. Where to start. How was he supposed to do this?

Restoring her trust would be a difficult thing to do.

It wasn't easy.

But Oliver had to try.

For her.

For _her._

…

_Four Days Later_

Felicity knew Oliver was in a bad shape at the moment and although the situation had become better than before, it was far from good.

He looked tired and out of place. Felicity knew that he stared at her when she wasn't looking and she knew he regretted it. It was pretty clear to be honest and he wanted to make it better.

But it wasn't enough.

Come to think of it, a small part of her happy to see him suffer because she suffered too, to see him _affected. _She always thought she was the fool who had to coax herself every now and then to not feel and react while he was always indifferent about the things happening to her. In fact, he happened to be on the opposite. He never seemed affected by people calling her names before and there she was, trying to tell herself to be strong every now and then. It seemed quite easy for him and to see him crumble, it made her feel that he-he did care somehow.

She didn't allow herself to dwell over that realization for long though. She had just managed to gain that strength, so she wasn't going back to being that meek Felicity again.

It's funny how the tables had turned.

It really was.

"Oliver," Felicity moved the glass door, her head peeking in. She expected a response from his side but when she didn't get one, she frowned only to realize that he was sleeping. A small smile involuntarily made its way on her face. His head was tilted backwards, lying on the headrest of the chair. A file was kept on his table and it was clear that he didn't intend to sleep but Felicity was glad that he did. It was clear that he wasn't getting enough sleep these days, while a small part of her wanted him to suffer, a large part of her cared because he was-

He was Oliver.

She walked inside room, shivering as the cold air hit her. Her eyes flickered towards the air conditioner realizing that the temperature was way too low. Reaching for the file, she shut it before tucking it under her arm and then her eyes flickered around, trying to look for the remote of the appliance. She moved around the table, standing right next to Oliver as she looked for it. Her hand moved on the table, trying to look for it when it collided with Oliver's.

It moved a little and Felicity turned to look at Oliver's face, hoping he wasn't awake.

Only to stand still.

His moved a little, his head falling ever so slightly off the headrest and his eyeballs rolling underneath his closed eyelids. Felicity remembered reading it somewhere that it meant you were dreaming. And by the looks of it, it wasn't a good one since he kept fidgeting. She bit her lip before placing the file on the desk and moving her hands to place it on side of his face. She inclined it properly, making sure it had complete back support but she didn't pull away.

Her hands moved, her thumb landing on the scruff on his face as she moved it. She remembered when he had started keeping scruff. She also remembered how much it tickled when she kissed him and how much had she complained about it, but also secretly loved it because it was hot as hell. Her thumb shifted towards the corner of his eye as it travelled down his cheek. She stiffened the second Oliver's head moved. Leaning it towards the left, he muttered something incoherent and before she could move away, she felt something wet on his cheek.

A tear.

She stood still, her expression softening as Oliver's head landed in her hand, his cheek wet. "Felicity." She heard him mutter and heart started beating faster if it was possible. Her own eyes turned glossy as she looked at him, her thumb moving as she cupped his cheek.

What had they come to?

Both were miserable without the other.

Did he really regret it? Felicity's heart broke as she stared at her ex-husband. In a normal happy land, they would have been together but this was the real world. Despite everything, she didn't want to see him suffer.

Especially not this way.

Was someone taking care of him? Did anyone realize what he was going through? Or did everyone blame him? Come to think of it, Felicity shouldn't care but she did. What was he dreaming about? It was weird-dreams are supposed to be happy, now it was all filled with the remains of his broken relationship.

Just like they were.

She moved her palm on his cheek wiping it and before she knew it, another tear was travelled down the same cheek. She frowned, blinking her eyes rapidly. She was aware that if she should here any longer either she would break down or she would become soft.

Felicity couldn't afford either of them.

So, she stepped back and turned around. Because in reality, this was exactly how it was. She wasn't supposed to be with him because that was something that _he _chose to happen. That was something he _let _happen and there was nothing she could do about it.

She moved away from him, the middle finger of her right hand dabbing the corner of her left eye.

It wasn't fair.

When she was the one who was suffering, she suffered-and when he was the one who was suffering…why was she feeling this pain? She wasn't supposed to. She remembered thinking to herself how she would not let anyone see her heart-no heart, equal no feelings but somehow, she was still was affected. Deep down, she knew the meaning of all this but she refused to acknowledge it.

Because acknowledging it would only bring pain.

Because reality happened to be different.

"Felicity," It was soft, almost inaudible and she heard it but she didn't turn around. She just kept her head high and moved forward, ignoring him completely.

Because no matter how many times he called out for her, the truth didn't change.

That she wasn't a part of Oliver Queen's life.

And he wasn't a part of hers.

…

**January 2010**

"_You know it is bad luck to see the bride before the wedding," Felicity mumbled as her hands interlocked with Oliver's. They were lying on the bed in Felicity's hotel room, her eyes on the ceiling as Oliver laughed, "Since when do you believe in this stuff?"_

"_I don't know," She muttered, playing with the hem of her shirt-his shirt absentmindedly, "I mean, mom said it's not good. I should go." She got up. She usually wasn't the one to believe in all of this stuff but-_

_What if this marriage doesn't work?_

_Were they hurrying too much into this?_

_Oliver pulled her back and she gasped as she landed on him. "Oliver!" She exclaimed and the person in question just grinned. Felicity fidgeted a little in her position, her hands reaching at the back of his waist to move his hands away, "Oliver, it really is bad luck. I don't think we shoul-" _

"_What's wrong?" Oliver asked her, tucking a lock of her hair behind her ear, "Nothing." She shrugged him off, "I am just overthinking. It's not-It's not worth talking about. I'm being stupid."_

_She looked up and blue met blue, "What?" And Oliver didn't falter, "What's wrong?"_

"_What if this doesn't work out?" She uttered out at last, her hands landing on his chest. "What if we end up like those divorced couples who can't even stand the sight of each other?" She placed her head over hands that were rested on his chest, "What if we…what If I lose you?" She stage whispered, "I don't want to." _

_Oliver flipped her the next minute, her body landing over Felicity who was surprised for a second before she found her hands winding behind his neck, "What if we actually work out? What if this," He raised his hand in the air, Felicity's fingers interlocking with him, "Is the best thing in our lives? What if we make it?"_

"_We will, won't we?" She stage whispered, "We will." Oliver said affirmatively, "Of course, we will." He looked at her before bending down and kissing her forehead. _

_She was being stupid, wasn't she?_

_Of course they would make it._

_They loved each other._

"_No matter how much you try to run away, Smoak. You're a part of my life." He smiled and Felicity's lips curled up, "Stuck with you?"_

"_Stuck with me." Oliver grinned as she leaned forward, kissing him passionately and Oliver kissed her back, his hands snaking under her shirt and he almost growled realizing that she wasn't wearing a bra. His lips travelled down the column of her throat, his hand inching towards the hem of her shirt when she pulled away. Oliver frowned, "Nuhuh, mister. Not today." She shook her head and her fiancé didn't say anything. "What?"_

"_We're not having sex today. Especially not a day before our wedding and especially not when my mother is in the room right beside this one."_

_Oliver groaned, his head landing on her chest, "You're a real mood killer, you know that?"_

"_Hey!" Felicity whacked his arm, "I just don't want-don't want her to hear this and it's the night before our wedding-we're not supposed to see each other let alone-"_

_Oliver pecked her lips effectively making her babble stop._

_She should babble more._

_She really really should._

_Did she sound like the joker back there?_

"_Great," Oliver's voice echoed as he made a landing on the bed, his back against it, "Thinking about joker on the night before our wedding, good going, Felicity."_

_She blushed, "It's a good movie, alright?" _

"_Do I remind of the joker?"_

"_Maybe." She trailed the word and before placing her arm on the bed, her elbow against and leaned her hand on the palm of her hand so that she was facing him, "Actually, try and smile like Heath Ledger?"_

"_Hey, my smile is gorgeous, okay?" He raised his hands in the air, "Girls die for it."_

"_Even the strippers you went to see yesterday," Felicity's eyebrows rose. She was well aware of his wild bachelor party. Oliver was caught off guard before he turned his head towards her, "I love you." He stated, wanting to get out of the situation and Felicity smiled knowingly, a laugh bubbling out of her chest, "Of course you do."_

"_Wait, you okay with this?"_

"_Yes," She nodded her head, "As long as it is within limits." She declared._

"_Look at you," Oliver laughed, "Going all wife on me." And Felicity smirked before winking at him, "I have to, right?"_

"_You went to the strip club too, didn't you?"_

"_Of course we did."_

"_And you're grilling me about it."_

"_Of course I am." Felicity laughed, "It's like the first rule of marriage, the wife is always right."_

"_Uhuh,"Oliver nodded his head before turning and mimicking Felicity's position, "What were you saying about marriages not working out?"_

_Felicity giggled, her eyes lightening up behind her glasses._

_They didn't have to worry about that._

_They'll be fine._

_They will work it out because it's them…and it had to work out. _

"_So no sex tonight, huh?"_

"_Nope, after marriage." _

_Oliver let out of a whine, "It's just one day, Oliver and then we can consummate our marriage and have loads of sex. Wild unprotected sex and normal sex and all kinds of-"_

"_Felicity, please stop talking." Oliver groaned. She really wasn't helping his situation. Felicity laughed seeing his plight and Oliver turned his head towards her, his eyes narrowing, "What is so funny?"_

"_Nothing." Felicity gave him a tight lipped smile._

"_It's all your fault," He stated, "You kissed me first!"_

"_But-but you were being all sweet and adorable!"_

"_I'm always adorable!"_

_Felicity didn't say anything. She just gave him the stink eye before letting out a loose chuckle when she saw him twitch. Why was he wearing jeans to begin with? He was supposed to be wearing pyjamas at this point but nope, jeans it was._

"_It's not funny." Oliver groaned, trying to get comfortable and Felicity just shook her head, "It is." She offered him a pillow, "Do you wanna cover it-" Oliver snatched it before she could say anything causing her to laugh out loud, "You can always go to the strip club, you know?" She teased him._

"_Nope, after marriage." _

_A pillow hit him on his head._

"_Asshole."_

_Yeah, they'll be fine._

_They got each other, don't they?_

…

"Yeah, I get it, Ray." Felicity mumbled on the phone as she walked towards Big Belly Burger. Today's day had been really hectic and all she needed was her favourite mint chocolate chip milkshake and her big sized cheese burger with extra cheese. Well, that and a doctor who series 8 run because, who doesn't love Peter Capaldi?

It was as simple as that.

Except it wasn't.

Because Ray called and now here she was, in _Big Belly Burger _which is supposed to be a happy place fighting-_discussing-_with her best friend on the phone about how to deal with _her _ex-husband.

"_I think I'm going to come down there," Ray paused, "Probably going to punch him and this time, he won't even fight back."_

"No, you won't." Felicity stated right away as she opened the door, the bell above her jingling before grinning towards the person standing right behind the corner and nodding her head. It was a good thing that she was a regular customer here. "I'm dealing with him."

"_But dealing with him you mean completely ignoring him and using fire exits to travel through an eighteen floor building, right?"_

"No," She muttered instantly, her voice small. She really hated when Ray went all right guy on her.

"_I'm always right, Smoak. You know that."_

"Are you done now? I'm supposed to be thinking about my milkshake, not you and your stupid right ways."

"_Felicity, I mean it. Oliver has to be set straight. Ignoring him is not the solution. I want-I don't like him. How could he think of us being together? Of you cheating?! Don't you think he deserves to suffer?!" He paused a little, "And I'm not a sadist but I really hate him at this point. Heck, even Courtney is not liking him and she wanted you two together! I owe her the biggest I told you so ever!"_

"Ray."

_He sighed. "I'm just worried, alright? You doing alright there, right? Now that they know the truth, they would try to talk to you and you-you could falter, Felicity. I don't want that."_

"That won't happen, Ray." She breathed, fidgeting in her seat. "I'm okay and you don't have to worry about me. I'm a big girl."

_Ray scoffed, "Really?"_

"Really." Felicity let out a small laugh before her voice softened, "I'll be fine, Ray. You don't have to worry about me."

"_You sure?"_

"Yeah, besides, Oliver is suffering enough on his own." She muttered, her mind drifting

"_What is that supposed to mean?"_

"Nothing," She mumbled, "I'll talk to you later." She ended the conversation, hanging up after she heard him say goodbye.

As she waited for her milkshake, her mind starting drifting towards the incident that happened hours ago. How long had Oliver been this way? Since when was he having these 'nightmares'? She remembered the night when she had them, he was always there for her. Always.

Was someone there for him too?

Was it..was it Laurel?

But he called out for her. Why?

Did he think about her? Did he have to tell himself to be strong every now and then?

Did he eat properly? She had to ask Sara to make that happen the last time, did he ear properly now? Because, honestly he looked like he wasn't in a good place and …it bothered Felicity.

"I honestly expected you to be crying right now."

Felicity turned her head only to find herself staring at the senior-who carries handkerchief-reporter. "I don't always cry. Well I used to, not anymore." She explained. She remembered him.

"Really?" Ed quirked his eyebrow, "You don't? That's a good thing, I guess."

"Yes, it is." Felicity smiled a little, "What are you doing here?" She frowned and Ed took a seat right opposite to her, "Well, the last time I heard you complained about being alone." He stated, "And I thought-"

"Are you stalking me?" Felicity frowned before whipping her head towards the door, "You weren't following me, were you?" She frowned while turning towards him again, "Right?"

"No,"

"And you're not here to grab another story, are you?" Felicity narrowed her eyes. "Right?" She just had to double check. Back in the day, she had googled about him and had also managed to nag a lot of information about him which may I have included how good he was at his job but also a considerate person.

"Of course not. I just saw you and I thought-"He got up, all of a sudden. He might not admit but the real reason he came to sit here was because of her. He just saw her here and he went, why not? She piqued his interest the last time and she looked like she needed someone, plus the babbling was insanely cute, "Never mind."

"No!" Felicity shouted all of a sudden before her eyes widened, "I mean, you can sit here." She gestured towards the place, "I don't-I don't mind." She smiled. He seemed trust worthy somehow. And a small part of her nagged on the inside. If Oliver had Laurel, couldn't she also be friends with someone? "For real?"

Felicity smiled knowingly. He sounded like Barry, "For real."

"Good, because then I would have to look for a place to sit and they are no booths left." Felicity looked around before leaning over the table, "Is that why you came here?"

"Exactly." Ed grinned, leaning back against the sofa seat.

"So, you're reporter, right?" She mumbled, "BBC news?" She tilted her head sideways, trying to analyse him. Maybe she didn't notice it the last time, but he sure did look handsome.

"Thank you." Ed mumbled and Felicity blinked, "I said that out loud, didn't I?"

"Yes." He laughed and Felicity groaned burying her face in her arms, "Sorry, I tend to-" She waved her hand the very last minute, "Forget it."

"Already forgotten. So, what brings you here?"

"Mint chocolate shake." Felicity nodded her head, "It's amazing."

"Mint chip? Who likes mint chip?"

"You don't?"

'It's minty…Of course, I don't."

"It's minty, it's chocolaty! It's perfect and it's the cure for sour mood." Felicity told him, "Especially the mint chip they serve here. And if not, Rocky Road is good too. I mean it's not mint chip," She stressed, "But it is good. You know it is often said that mint chip lovers are made for each other? My husband and I-we loved mint chip but then we-" She paused all of a sudden, her hand in the air, realizing what she just said out loud.

_Got divorced. _

Biting her lip, she didn't meet his eyes for the next second, "Sorry, it's just that I was thinking about something that happened earlie-"She moved her hand and Ed smiled a little, "It happens."

Felicity didn't say anything. Maybe talking to Ed was a bad idea after all. "I think I should leave-this is-wasn-" She took a deep breath, the events playing in her mind. It was always him, wasn't it? "I'm sorry."

"It's alright," Ed mumbled before offering her a handkerchief and she smiled a little before standing up. "Who carries handkerchief these days?"

"Well, we have to. Considering how women like you just can't stop crying." He laughed a little and Felicity let out a breathy one too, "I'm sorry, this," She waved her hand, "Period itself. It's not good." She shook her head, "It's just not."

"It's alright," He smiled and Felicity looked at the lad, "What about the handkerchief?" She gestured to the piece of white cloth in her hand.

"Give it to me the next time we meet,"

"How do you know there will be a next time?" Felicity frowned.

"Well, there was a second time, wasn't it?"

And in that moment, Felicity really hoped that there was a third time.

She really did.

…

Judith peeked in the room, only to find her grandson sitting on his bed, wide awake. Her eyes turned towards the clock only to realize that it was three am at night.

She was well aware of the fact that he wasn't sleeping as per usual and it worried her to some extent, but it also made her happy. Happy that he cared about it and he might have made a mistake, but everyone deserves a second chance, don't they?

"Have I ever told you about Robert?" Judith entered Oliver's room grabbing the latter's attention who was surprised since his grandmother wasn't on speaking terms with him. "Grams," He started before getting up but his grandma instead made herself comfortable on the edge of his bed, "He was just like you."

Oliver frowned. He didn't understand where she was heading with this.

"He didn't want to be the shop, like his father wanted him to do. He wanted to be something different."

"Yeah?" Oliver laughed a little, he never knew about this story.

"Yup. And one day, they had this huge fight with your grandad telling him to do something before speaking," Oliver listened closely. He knew his grandmother better than anyone else. She sure had an underlying meaning behind all of this.

"He started dwelling on it. He didn't _do _things, he just thought about it. I didn't sleep at night," She admitted to him, "I was worried about _him."_ Oliver looked away when she said the last word, knowing she meant him too. "He was conflicted,"

She was relating that situation to Oliver's. The person in question was aware of this fact and so, he listened to her, "And then things changed. He understood. And the first night that I went back to sleep, he did not sleep."

Oliver's eyebrows furrowed, "I don't get it." He mumbled.

"He grew up." Judith muttered, "He realized that dwelling wasn't enough. It was _doing _it. He stayed awake to plan it-sometimes words are not enough, Oliver. It's the actions that count."

Words weren't enough to fix what was broken. It was the actions that will count but the irony of the situation was, Oliver knew this-yet he couldn't make anything happen.

"I know," He retorted, "I just don't know where to start with them even." He chuckled at himself.

He really was pathetic, wasn't he?

Judith got up, padding her way towards the door's exit, "Well, maybe it's right in front of you." She told him, "You have to open your eyes though." She said and began to move out when Oliver's voice stopped her.

"Did you mean it?" His voice cracked as he reached the end of the sentence.

"Mean what?"

"That there's hope?" He looked at her and it somehow reminded Judith of his younger self when he would ask her for candy. He reminded her of a child who just wanted his wildest of fantasies to come true.

"You know me, Oliver." Judith laughed a little, "Do I ever say things without meaning it?" She smirked a little before finally moving out of the room and Oliver stood up before taking a deep breath.

He smiled a little to himself as he recalled her words.

_There's hope._

_It's our actions that count._

And for the first time, Oliver Queen felt a new sense of hope. A small smile lit his face, "Whatever I do, I'll make you proud, Grams."

And he will.

It was about time he fixed the wrong.

It really was.

…

_One Day Later _

Come to think of it, the answer was staring right in his face.

He had been taking sessions hadn't he? According to his psychiatrist, he happened to a caged person. A person who didn't talk much. In reality, Oliver didn't really want to talk about it.

Talk about what?

How he screwed up his marital life?

Or the fact that his son died when he was mere a year old?

They say, the more you talk about it-the more it becomes better but it is the talking that is the hard part. How can you talk about it without bursting into tears? Or just simply acknowledge it, without breaking down? And maybe that is why Oliver didn't talk to psychiatrist. Each session simply ended up with him asking for pills because that happened to be the only reason he came to her.

Until now.

"So, you're ready to talk." The doctor smiled at him and Oliver didn't say a word. He was ready to talk, wasn't he?

It's about doing it.

Well, she could definitely help him, couldn't she?

And that is why, Oliver narrated to her the entire backstory of their break up and he had to admit, he expected the woman to look at him with disgust but all that came his way was an understanding nod.

"I just want… I just want to make things better. I made her believe that she killed Conner, she didn't." He shook his head, "I made her believe that. Made her feel that it was she that should have died that night. I-I ruined it." He mumbled, "I ruined it."

The female nodded before leaning back against the couch, "Tell me more about Conner."

"I'm sorry?" Oliver uttered out.

He was talking about Felicity, not Conner. How did he become a part of this conversation? "I thought we were talking about Felicity."

"We were," She nodded, "But I want to know more about Conner." She smiled a little, "Tell me more about him."

Oliver looked flustered. No one had ever made him talk about his son this way, "I don't talk about my son."

And he didn't.

Ever since he died, he never really talked about Conner. Ever since he died, all Oliver had done is will himself to live his every happy memory and not to dwell on it. Because that was what it actually was.

Conner was _dead._

He wasn't coming back and the sooner they had accepted that, the better. So, he thought about his happy memories because thinking about the alternative would be far more painful. He would think about his habits-how he used to hide underneath the crib and burst into the chortles the minute Oliver or Felicity discovered him or the times when he used claw his hands at anyone who hugged him pretending to say that he was his 'dad' rather than Conner's. He used to act ferociously. He recalled those moments time and again because that was the only thing that was left of him.

Memories.

That was it.

But did he talk about him?

No.

These moments were supposed to his. He was supposed to think about them in sad times, because it was all he had left.

"Why don't you?"

"I just...don't."

Because he would breakdown. And he couldn't afford that. He just couldn't.

He needed to be strong.

He had to be strong.

His son deserved it.

His family deserved it.

"The only person you talk to about Conner is Felicity. Am I right, Oliver?" The person in question contemplated this, "I'm not sure where we're heading with this."

"You talk to Felicity about Conner because you know she needs it. You have willed yourself to be strong because your family needed it. Your wife needed it. You willed yourself to accept your son's death because your family needed you."

"That's not true," Oliver shook his head, "I accepted my son's death. He died."

"Then why can't you talk about him?" The psychiatrist countered, "Why is Felicity the only person you talk to Conner about? Why do you smile on the outside, but are emotionally withdrawn on the inside?"

"You're wrong," Oliver stood up abruptly, "I have grieved my son. I have accepted his death. I know he died!" He fired back and the woman just smiled a little, "I know that you've accepted it, Oliver. But have you let go of it?"

_Have you?_

"Letting go is different than accepting, Oliver. Whenever you think about Conner, you think of the happy memories because you know that is all that is left of him but can you talk about it? Properly? Can you sit in front of son's grave and talk to him? Can you listen to anybody talk about him?"

Oliver stood silent.

He didn't really tell anyone about it. But he cried at night for his son. The reason why he visited the nursery was because he was afraid that if he didn't, he would forget about him. He would let him go and he wasn't ready to. He would smile in front of other while crumbling on the inside.

What was it, really?

Had he really not let go of Conner?

"You made yourself believe that Conner is dead because you needed to be there for your wife, Oliver. But what about you, Oliver? Have you ever cried over your son? Have you ever talked about him, openly?"

What was there supposed to talk, huh?

He was _dead._

Gone.

"Stop talking about him!" He shouted all of a sudden.

Conner was his son.

She had no right talking about this.

No right.

"I don't want to listen to this! I need help regarding Felicity, not this!"

The only person that Oliver had ever talked to about Conner was Felicity. It was always her. When she broke down, he had to be there for her. He couldn't just not be and it didn't take him much time to process that his son was dead. Yes, he had his fair share of moments with Felicity where he had cried brutally but had he ever done that after she left? Had he ever talked about openly? Even with the past psychiatrist, the talk was all about Conner and Felicity but he never really responded to them.

"The only person you ever talked to Conner about was Felicity, Oliver. You've been strong for your family."

"I've cried for my son." He stated, "I have. You're wrong."

The psychiatrist chuckled knowingly, "With Felicity, right? You made her believe that Conner was gone."

"Yes." He took a deep breath, closing his eyes, "Yes with her."

"But have you let go of it, Oliver? Have you?"

Had he?

Had he let go of son or had he not?

"You've accepted your son's death Oliver," Tears threatened to drip down his eyes, "Now it's time to let him go."

Time to let him go.

But he had, hadn't he?

But maybe…just maybe he hadn't.

_You know, Felicity. You told me you're stuck in the past. The truth is, we all are._

_We all are._

**That's it. **

**Hope you guys liked it. **

**Feel free to PM or post a review. About your thoughts and ideas. **

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**Next chapter we'll see Oliver's redemption. **

**And I'll try to update by next Friday. If not, definitely by next Sunday. **

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**Srishti x**


	20. Chapter Eighteen : Will To Live

**Hey guys, how are all you?**

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…

**They are so many more that I have to thank and I will in the next chapter. For now up until chapter sixteen! I'm so sorry about this, but thank you so much for your efforts!**

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…

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**Not betaed, all mistakes are mine. If you find one, you can point it out..thank you x**

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**Chapter Eighteen : Will to Live**

"**Don't fight to die, Fight to live." – Felicity Smoak, 3x23, Arrow**

Moving on.

It was easier said than done. One of the most ironic things about this move itself was the fact that you don't realize it was happening. In one particular moment, you can be like I am moving on but in reality you're stuck. Stuck in an ongoing cycle of you claiming to move on, stuck in your thought process, stuck in the past.

You're just stuck.

So was Oliver.

Come to think of it, he himself hadn't moved on. Yes, he was better at this than Felicity, but had he moved past his son's death?

Had he?

He hadn't.

"I don't know,"He uttered out, he truly was baffled. What was he supposed to say? Come to think of it, how was supposed to help Felicity when he himself wasn't at clear terms with it. But he didn't care-he was surviving right? Now it was the time to make sure that Felicity was living. Not him, _Felicity. _"And I don't care." He said it out the last minute after contemplating.

He really didn't.

This wasn't his priority at the moment.

Felicity was.

"I just want to help Felicity. I need help with her." This was the main reason why he came to her. He didn't want to be confronted by reality. He needed to help her. _Period. _

"Well, then you can start by helping yourself." The psychiatrist smiled, "How do _you _think you can get over this grief?" Before Oliver could respond, she stood up and Oliver's eyes followed her as she picked up a writing pad from her desk and then reached Oliver only to give it to him, "Here."

Oliver's eyebrows rose as he stared at it, "What?" He waved it a little and his doctor took her place right in front of him, "We have this exercise." She tried to explain, "You'll be writing letters."

"To whom?"

"Whoever you want to," She shrugged, "We usually post these letters to a place that is vacant. It is an exercise to get the patient to open up more. You write and your thoughts become crisp and clear."

"And you won't be reading them?"

"No."

"You're lying," Oliver challenged, "You would read them and I'm not going to write about my life in this," He waved the pad, "Just for you to enjoy reading about it. I was ready to talk about Felicity and I did. We can talk more about her if you want to but my son, he's off limits." And he was. Sure, she pointed out something that was important but this wasn't his priority at the moment.

Besides, he had accepted he had died, right?

What's more that you need?

"I won't be reading it," The psychiatrist assured him, "The aim is to get you to open up more. I want _you _to come to me talking about your son, I don't want to read your letters."

"No one will be reading them?"

"No one. And this way, maybe you can help Felicity too. How do you want to get over his grief? How do feel about everything, pen it down and maybe things will become clear." Oliver blinked as he heard her speak.

_Maybe this way you can help Felicity too._

Oliver leaned forward to pick up the pen that was lying on the table. Maybe it will work.

It had to work.

….

**January 2010**

"_So, it worked out well, don't you think?" Oliver asked Felicity as he leaned towards her ever so slightly. They were sitting on the table at their reception and were the centre of the attention._

_Because of course they were._

_It was their wedding right?_

"_Me marrying you?" Felicity turned towards him, "Of course it had to work out well. It is me you're getting married to."_

"_Wait, who was the one who was unsure about us, again?" Oliver double checked and Felicity turned towards him, "Don't talk like that." She whacked his arm inconspicuously, "This will work out,"_

_Oliver moved his hand on the table where it met hers, "It will, right?"_

"_It's us. What do you think?" Felicity grinned._

_And it will work out. It had to. It was them against the world right? _

_Oliver Queen and Felicity Smoak-_

_Felicity Queen._

_She liked the sound of it._

"_The only good thing that hasn't worked out is Ray's face," Oliver spoke softly, "He doesn't look happy being my groomsman."_

"_He was hoping I'll make him the best man," Felicity looked at him, "I would have but he told me he'll be out of town and then he surprised me. What was I supposed to do?" She pouted, "I feel like a bitch." She muttered._

"_Don't worry, he'll be fine. It is you-he won't be angry for long. Especially when you make those shiny eyes."_

"_I hope you're right."_

"_I'm always right, I'm Oliver Queen."_

"_That's cliché."_

"_That's true."_

_Felicity laughed a little before leaning towards Oliver. Her hand tightened around his hand and she smiled widely, her hold tightening, their wedding bands shining._

_It was them against the world, right?_

_As long as they were together._

_As long as he held on to her._

…

Thea held on to her shopping bags as she entered 'Toys R Us'. A small smile lit her face as she stared at the toys lined up in there. Her eyes flickered towards the counter before she walked towards it. Keeping the two bags on the counter, she smiled at the guy standing behind them. "I'm looking for a birthday gift for a four year old," She paused, "Girl."

The guy-whose name was Jake pointed towards an aisle and her gaze followed. Flashing him one last smile, she headed towards the said aisle.

"This seems good," She heard a familiar voice and it took her a second to realize that Felicity was standing in the same section. "Can you gift wrap this?" She saw her give the toy to a salesperson who nodded his head. She bit her lip trying to decide whether to talk to her or not.

She had tried calling her a couple of times before but she didn't pick up. She even went to Queen Consolidated pretending to see her brother but in reality wanted to meet her.

There was a time where they used to be best friends. A time where they used to team up against Oliver and make fun of him. She considered Felicity like an elder sister and then suddenly, things happened and she picked a side.

She picked the wrong side.

She was bitch to her. In all honesty, she should have talked to her about it rather than jump on conclusions. She vividly remembered talking to her on the phone and spatting in her face about how she hated her. The guilt clawed her on the inside. She was one of the reasons why she had never approached her family because she tried to once, but Thea didn't let her. Maybe if she had then, Oliver and Felicity would have been together. Something could have happened and they would not be a broken family.

Before she could think about it anymore, a guy standing beside her called out for her, "Ma'am?" And this grabbed Felicity's attention. She stared at Thea for a little while and Thea meanwhile didn't say anything. She turned her head the next minute and Thea's shoulders deflated as she let out a sigh, her hope crumbling. She really thought that this their chance to talk to each other.

"So, you're shopping for Sara?" She asked, her eyebrows rising ever so slightly.

She wasn't about to let go of this opportunity. Even if she didn't want to talk to her-which was justified, Thea could try, right?

Felicity didn't say anything before nodding her head ever so slightly, "Yeah."

"So, what did you buy for her?" She tried to make a conversation, "I'm thinking of getting her a doll house but do you think many people will get her that?" She paused, "But she would love a doll house, she has these dolls you know-"

"I don't know, Thea." Felicity stopped her abruptly and managed a small smile, "Why don't you ask Digg?" She ended the conversation before turning around and moving out from the aisle from the other side, "Felicity?" Thea stopped her and she turned around.

"Do you think we can hang out after this?" She raised her arms in emphasis before gesturing towards the bags she was carrying, "Or we could go shopping?"

"Thea," Felicity started, "Now is not a good time." She said and Thea's gaze faltered, "It never is, Felicity."

"And whose fault is that?" Felicity answered back, "I'm-this won't be happening." She declared, "Ever." She stated, "So just stop trying." She turned around and left the area.

Thea tried to keep her tears at bay as she watched her leave.

This was probably the first time that Felicity had left their conversation and it was Thea who was standing at the other end, her eyes wet.

_And whose fault was that Thea?_

_Her fault._

_Their fault. _

…

Laurel sighed as sipped her wine. Tommy was sitting right opposite of her doing the same. He came by earlier that day to her house only to find her sulking there and so he decided it was better if they just hung out for a little while.

"Okay, so what's up with you?" Tommy finally asked and Laurel blinked, "Nothing." She denied, "I'm fine."

"Yeah, absolutely fine." Tommy started sarcastically, "Considering how you're sighing every now and then and you're drinking red wine-"Laurel pulled the wine glass away, examining it, "Which you hate."

Laurel didn't say a word as she kept the glass back on the table, "So, I am a bit distracted. Sue me."

"Isn't that supposed to be your job?" Tommy asked, an amused smile on his lips and Laurel turned her face away, trying to hide hers. "What's wrong?"

"It's Ollie," She finally told him, her fingers entangling in her hair as she tucked a stray curl behind her ear, "He's been-he's not doing well these days and he's not letting me." Tommy eyebrows rose in question and Laurel chose to continue, "I know he is upset about Felicity and I understand. It's just that-" Her eyes met Tommy's, "I feel like I'm going to lose him all over again." She told him the truth.

And she should. Tommy was her friend, right? In fact he happened to be one of her best friends, so he had the right to know this. Maybe he could help her with Oliver?

"I don't think that will happen," He started, "He just stressed lately. That is it. Whatever happened with Felicity," His voice trailed off, "It was all our faults and Oliver-he is the one who is dealing with the most because despite everything she used to be his wife. The mother of his child," His tone turned soft before he placed his hands on the top of hers. Her eyes flickered towards the two set of hands for a second before it met Tommy's brown orbs, "I think, it is time you let go of this insecurity. No matter what happens," He paused, "Felicity would always remain a part of his life and you have to accept that. You need to accept that you are his present and she was his past." He waited with bated breath or her a reaction and she nodded her head vigorously, "You're right."

And he was. No matter how much she tried to ignore it, Felicity's life would always remain intertwined with Oliver's and she had to accept with it. Because even if she was-one fact didn't change.

That she was his present.

And Felicity was his past.

She would not lose him.

…

"Is it bad that I'm worried, Digg?" Felicity turned towards her friend who frowned, "About what?" He asked her before taking his place on the chair of the dining table. Felicity set the cutlery down and took a seat right opposite to him, "Oliver." She answered back, biting her lip as she waited for his reaction.

Diggle didn't say a word and Felicity began explaining herself further, "I-He is just tired these days, you know? He-he doesn't sleep much," A set of lines marred her forehead as she recalled all the past events, "I mean he has gotten better in the past few days. I mean he eats more and is definitely sleeping more than he did before but I'm still worried. Not like, worried like his ex-wife and ex-baby mama but worried like his co-CEO who needs all the help that she needs to run a multinational company." She took a deep breath, "Yeah. I'm just worried."

"No, Felicity it's not bad. " John bit back a smile, "As long as you are not the one that I have to worry about." He told her.

"I'm just-"She fiddled with the cutlery on the table, "You haven't seen him, Digg. He's losing himself and I don't want that to happen."

"As a co CEO?"

She laughed a little, "As a co-CEO."

"He's a big boy, Felicity." John started, "He can take care of himself. You don't have to worry about him."

"You're right," She nodded her head, "He can take care of himself." She moved back, leaning against her chair.

And he was right. But that still didn't stop Felicity from worrying about him. She was supposed to be strong and not let him faze her and she was doing the same. But despite that, a small part-okay, a large part of her was worried about him. Still, she didn't allow herself to talk to him because talking to him would bring her a step closer to him and she won't allow that to happen. The only thing she could do at the moment is hope that he was getting better and there was someone out there who was taking care of him.

Despite everything, she didn't want Oliver to suffer this way.

He was losing himself.

And she hoped he would get better soon.

She really did.

…

**January 2010**

"_Oliver, where the hell is your shaving kit?" Felicity asked as she fiddled through the Oliver's suitcase. Oliver groaned as he twisted and turned on their bed but didn't utter a word. _

"_Oliver!"_

"_What?" He groaned, "I don't know!" He slurred before picking up the pillow lying beside him and placing it on his face, "Leave it to me to have a wife who is more interested in sorting stuff rather than having sex on her honeymoon." He muttered and Felicity gasped before picking up some clothes that were lying beside her and threw it at him, "Well, leave it to me to have a husband who has to be treated like a child 24x7. Who was screaming for the kit yesterday?"_

"_That was yesterday." Oliver's voice was muffled and Felicity stood up. Walking towards him, she yanked the pillow away from him. "You started yelling yesterday because you couldn't find the kit." She placed her hands on her hips, "And you-"_

"_Oliver!" She exclaimed the second he pulled her, making her land on the top of him, "Enough talking about the shaving kit." He looked at her and blue met blue. "You're so boring."_

"_Yeah," Felicity nodded her head, "I'm the one who is boring. I think someone forgot our honeymoon night," _

"_Oh, I can't forget that." He smiled widely, "My wife can be really naughty, you know?"_

"_And my husband can be a real child, you know?" She countered and Oliver frowned, "It's like taking care of a kid, Oliver."_

"_I'm not a kid."_

"_Yes, you are."_

"_No, I'm not."_

_Felicity's eyebrows quirked and Oliver sighed, "It's good to be childish, you know? It keeps you healthy."_

"_Really?" Felicity tried to look surprised but a giggle escaped from her mouth._

"_Really." Oliver echoed her, "But do you know what is healthier?" His hand went underneath her shirt and he ever so slowly unclasped her bra, "Oliver, don't-not right now, I'm supposed to-"_

_Oliver cut her off with a kiss._

…

Laurel smiled a little as Oliver joined her. The two were sitting on the dining table in Laurel's house right opposite to each other. It had been a day since she had talked to Tommy and the conversation had been an eye opener.

She had to accept that no matter what Felicity would always remain a part of Oliver's life but also the fact, that she won't be taking her position in his life. She was Oliver's fiancé, Felicity was his ex-wife and the insecurities that were once bubbled up inside of her were slowly and steadily vanishing.

"So, how is everything at work?"

Oliver looked at her before nodding his head, "Its fine." He smiled a little. Laurel noticed that it was slightly forced but didn't question it. Oliver had been going through a lot for the past few days and everyone had noticed that recently he had started to get better. Maybe the sessions were helping him. But the guy really was going through a lot in the past few days and it scared Laurel.

It scared her because he was so much affected by the truth. Scared because of the amount of hold she still had on him despite the divorce. When she discovered the truth, she had felt like a bitch. Everyone did and most of all, Oliver. What happened was pure circumstantial and Felicity didn't deserve it but it happened.

Because they weren't meant to be.

There was a time when Laurel believed that Felicity and Oliver were made for each other. It took him eight months to propose to her while with her, it never even crossed his mind. She used to ask him to move in with her-but he always changed the topic. She even used to check his sock drawers hoping that someday she would come across a tiffany box but she never did.

She believed it was the lack of commitment. Oliver never wanted to commit to her, which is why she believed that despite the fact that Felicity liked Oliver, Oliver would never like Felicity in that way because she was that girl for him. It could have been a fling but his girlfriend that title belonged to her.

She was wrong. It was never about the commitment issue, it was about the fact that she wasn't the right one for him. Felicity had changed Oliver without even realizing it-that he became the guy she thought he would be –_a guy in love_ and she started to believe that she and Oliver were never meant to be. She had tried to move on from him and she did for a little while. She went out with a couple of guys. When Tommy asked her out, she had said no because she never saw him more than a friend. Despite everything, she had never settled for one guy.

Until they broke up again. Oliver was a mess during that time and all Laurel wanted to do was be with him as a friend. That is it. In fact, the entire family was. That was something that pinched Laurel a lot. Despite the fact that Oliver and she happened to childhood friends, she was never able to establish a bond with them, the Felicity could in such a short amount of time. But then, things started to take a turn for the better and he asked her out.

And since they had been together. She hated Felicity back when they initially started dating for the second time, but now the situation had changed and she knew that Felicity was a good person and she didn't deny it. So, she was willing to accept that she would always be a part of Oliver's life, especially now since it was discovered that she never did anything wrong.

"And how are things with the psychiatrist? You know I can join you for a session-or at least be there for you-"

"It's alright. They are working well." Oliver eyes turned towards the food lying on the table.

"I'm glad." Laurel placed her hand on his and gave it a light squeeze. This grabbed Oliver's attention and second later, he removed his hand swiftly. Laurel's face fell for a second before she regained her momentum, "Spaghetti?" She asked, referring to the bowl lying on the table and Oliver nodded his head.

The truth was that these days Felicity was the only one who was on his mind.

Ever since she had come back. She had always been on his mind.

And he had tried to deny it so much. But now that he knew the truth about their break up too, he found it hard to ignore her. Ignore his feelings for her.

Just like he did when she cried for Conner in QC.

Just like he did when she got wasted and told him I love you.

Deep down, he knew something was there. It was Felicity. Something would always be there. He remembered the first time he saw her in three years. It was what she did to him. No matter what happens-it was always her.

Now, Oliver would not call it love-was it? Was it love? The way he felt for. The way he hated when she was talking with that reporter? The way he hated to see her cry when Thea shouted in her face?

But didn't he do the same?

The truth was, Oliver didn't know and he didn't want to know because knowing it would make it _real_. Would make him realize how deep those feelings ran and he didn't want to know.

Because he didn't deserve her.

He never deserved her.

Felicity wasn't his.

Laurel was.

And so, he smiled at Laurel before taking her hand in his.

…

_One Day Later_

It was Sara Jane Diggle's birthday.

It was Sara Diggle's _fourth _birthday and she was on the top of the moon.

Sara was happy and ecstatic-a new word she had learned in her school. Her house was full of balloons and her Barbie cake was lying in the fridge which would be delicious because it was strawberry cake. Duh.

To top it all, her party was way better than Amy Adams party earlier that month.

She didn't like her.

She didn't invite Sara.

So Sara didn't invite her.

Everything was perfect.

Except one thing.

"Uncle Ollie that is not how we do it!" Sara stomped her right foot on the ground, her frock moving consequently. "This is a mission."

"Sara," Oliver pressed the bridge of his nose. "All you have to do is-"

"Make sure Aunty Fee is happy! I make her smile," She put the index fingers of her two hands in her mouth and stretched it, trying to make a smile, "And?" Oliver looked at her.

"Conner was a great baby and he would not want you," She frowned, trying to remember the words, "To be sad."

"Who told you all this, Sara?" Oliver was sure this was the question that Felicity would pose.

"Uncle Ollie did!" Sara knew the answer to this question, "He told me that he was good baby and so good that God wanted him so," She pressed her hands together, "He took him away!"

Oliver smiled a little. This idea was weird but he hoped it would work. The psychiatrist's words had paid off and Oliver realized that the first thing that she has to do is _talk _about it. Just simply talk like it wasn't a taboo subject and definitely without the tears in her eyes.

Oliver was well aware that back in Central City, Felicity had simply moved on by just ignoring the topic. She never confronted it up until she reached Starling City where Oliver made her confront it. And for a while, she started to open up again only for Oliver to crumble her again and it was about time he fixed that.

Felicity had to talk about Conner.

Who was that one person Felicity could never say no to?

Sara Diggle.

"Let me get my walkie talkies!" She screamed before making a dash towards her room and Oliver laughed a little before lifting himself off the ground.

"You really think this would work?" Digg asked him and Oliver pivoted his head in his direction, "It wouldn't hurt to try, right?"

Diggle gave him a nod, "You know she's worried about you."

Oliver's mind drifted towards the scenario a few days back, in this very house, "I know she is."

"That girl cares a lot, Oliver. Despite everything she does. If you mess with her one more time, I'll kill you."

John Diggle had always been a straight forward man. It was one of the qualities of his that Oliver appreciated the most about him, "There won't be a second time." He assured him and this was probably the first time in a long while he had shown this amount of confidence.

Not this time.

"I got it!" Sara entered the room in a flash before giving one of her walkie talkies to Oliver, "Here." Oliver looked at before turning towards his goddaughter, "Really?"

Sara nodded her head, "Yes. We can talk through this. Operation Make Aunty Fee Smile!" She cheered earning a chuckle from her father.

Oliver turned towards Diggle who just laughed, "You asked for this, Oliver."

Oliver smiled a little before sitting on his knees and looked at Sara, "Operation-"

"MAFS!" Sara cheered happily and Oliver laughed.

At least someone was making something good out of this situation.

…

The party was in full swing and Felicity smiled a little as she looked around. The house was full of balloons that were pink and white in colour-matching the colour of the dress of the birthday girl and it was good.

Except the part where Felicity realized that the entire Queen family was there.

Which included Thea and Tommy who were trying to talk to her.

A small part of her wanted to talk to them. Wanted to forget the past and just talk nonchalantly, without any care in the world but that was no how the world ran, did it?

It wasn't.

But above that there was one thing that was on Felicity's mind.

Conner.

He never got to have a birthday party like this, right?

"Red wine?" Tommy gestured towards the bottle he was carrying, "It's from my label." He elaborated and Felicity's eyes widened a little, "You have a label?"

"Yeah," Tommy nodded, "It's been a year since its launch. You know the first time, I tasted it-I thought of you because you love it so much and I thought you would have liked it. And then I thought, why not now? Since we have-"

"This is a child's birthday party, Tommy."

"I know." Tommy nodded his head, "But this might also be the first time we can talk properly. You know about everything-this, Conner, your-" Tommy smiled a little and Felicity got up.

"Felicity-"

"No, you don't get it." Felicity snapped all of a sudden, "It's easy for you to come to me and talk about it. But let me tell you, it isn't. You can't just forget about something so easily so if you think coming here and offering wine, is going to fix everything, then you're wrong." She raised her hands in the air, her nose red, "This is beyond gone. So why don't you offer that wine to someone else." She backed away, "It's easy to try but not that easy to fix. You lost my trust and I'm sorry!" She was slightly grateful for the fact that the music was loud, "These things won't fix it." She stared ahead, her eyes moist, towards Oliver who was standing beside Laurel, "Nothing can fix this."

She exited the living room, finding in solace in the guest room of the Diggle house instead. She had promised to herself she won't cry but with Tommy talking about her son.

It hurt.

Her mind drifted back to Conner's first birthday party. She remembered her conversation with Oliver where they had decided that for his next birthday, they'll celebrate in Disneyland-but that day never came.

She missed her baby.

She missed him so much.

"Aunty Fee?" Felicity turned towards the door and she smiled brightly despite the tears in her eyes, "Hey there, birthday girl." Sara grinned widely, exposing the two empty spaces in the centre of her mouth, "I am the birthday girl." She smiled before walking towards her and Felicity sniffed a little. "Do you like the party?"

"I do." Felicity nodded her head, her eyes staring at Sara's brown orbs. Since she was sitting on the bed, they were almost at the same height. She frowned a little as she noticed a walkie talkie in her hand, "Then why are you crying?"

"I'm not crying." Felicity blanched before Sara brought her fingers at the corner of her mouth and tried to stretch it, "You should not cry. Are you sad because of Conner?"

Felicity blinked as she stared at her.

How did she know about this?

"You shouldn't. Conner was a good baby," She started, "And he would not want you to be sad. He was so good that God took him away." She nodded her head, "But you should be happy. He would want you happy." She explained.

Felicity frowned, "Who told you all of this Sara?"

"Uncle Ollie did!" She shouted joyfully, like she had hit a jackpot, "He said you should smile more."

Unbeknownst to both, Oliver was listening to the two of them as he stood right outside the room, against the side wall. He smiled a little as he heard Sara speak. His hand tightened around the walkie talkie he was carrying.

Sara Diggle was a rock star.

"You should not be sad Aunty Fee," Sara smiled, "Conner was your baby. So am I, right?" She paused, "So be happy for me."

Oliver blinked. He never told Sara to say so. How did she-he didn't she realized how deep her words actually were. It was weird, how children's thinking differed from adults.

Felicity smiled, wiping her tears before hugging Sara tightly, "You know it is said that if someone is sad, you hug them." Sara giggled as Felicity hugged her tightly, "Thank you Sara." She smiled before kissing her cheek.

"I have to go!" Sara exclaimed, "It's my party!" She told Felicity and she smiled, "You go, I'm coming."

"Alright!" She cheered before moving out of the room and Felicity watched her go, sniffing ever so slightly. She took out her spectacles and brought it near the hem of her black skirt before cleaning it.

_He was a good baby and he would not want you to be sad. _

_He was so good that God took him away_

_Conner was your baby. So am I, right?_

She sniffed getting up. She would be happy for Sara. She didn't deserve this. That child was one of the best people she had ever come across and also one of the most adorable babies. She would be happy tonight and smile for Sara because even if one child of hers, didn't get to see this. The other one did, right?

She rubbed her palm against her skirt before taking a deep breath. She headed out the door the next second but stopped short at the sight in front of her.

…

Oliver smiled as she heard Sara say her final words. Clutching the walkie talkie tightly in his hand, he waited for Sara to appear who smiled the minute she saw him. Taking out her walkie talkie, she pressed the button on the top of it, "Red Panda mission successful."

"Pink panda, you rock." Oliver laughed and Sara stood in front of him before moving her hand and flexing her fingers, asking Oliver to crouch down. The latter did so and Sara wrapped her tiny arms around his neck and hugged him tightly.

"What is this for?" Oliver asked as her hands landed on her back and Sara pulled away, "Aunty Fee said, if someone is sad. You hug them." Oliver blinked, "I'm not-"

"Don't be sad, Uncle Ollie. Be happy." She told him before hugging him again and Oliver frowned. He wasn't sad-was he? Was it that obvious? The fact that whatever had happened between Felicity and him had affected them both in multiple ways. The fact that within such a short time, they had confronted the truth and had to face it.

Was it?

He hugged her back, the expression on his face wavering.

_Conner was your baby. So am I, right?_

Oliver hugged her tightly. Because she reminded him of his lost son. She reminded him of their baby who they had lost way too early in his life and even if he wasn't around. Sara was there.

There is always something that you're willing to live for.

The door opened with a creak and Oliver looked up, his eyes meeting Felicity'swhose mouth parted open at the sight of the two. Oliver tried to smile in her direction.

Yes, there was something that you're willing to live for.

_Always._

**So this is it! **

**I hoped you liked it.**

**Slowly and steadily they'll find their way back to each other. **

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**Luvya guys so much **


	21. Chapter Nineteen : Together?

**Hey guys, how long has it been?**

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**Now, this chapter is long because I wanted to make up for the long wait. I hope you guys like it xx**

**Thank you for reading :D**

…

**Not betaed. All mistakes are mine.**

…

**Can anyone teach me how to operate AO3?**

…

**Disclaimer : I don't own anything that seems familiar **

**Word Count : 12804**

"**Love is an invisible bond that combines two souls together."**

**Chapter Nineteen : Together?**

Felicity Smoak was really busy.

Like really _really _busy.

The co-generation product that had been lined for quite a long time was finally a get go. Now Felicity won't say that it was a hundred percent ready but it had finally gotten past the beginning stages and was finally ready. The idea was something that Ray and she had thought of a long time ago but it never really happened until now.

To top it all, the project was to be launched by the Applied Sciences Division which was renamed after Robert Queen while the project itself was also named after Robert Queen. Which means it would garner public attention and paparazzi too. And then, they had to make sure that the project itself would work.

She was _really _busy.

"Get on with this," She closed the file, handing in over to Gerry who nodded his head. She got up, making a move out of the cabin, "Ask Richard to club a file with everything related to this project. From finances to the power output, I want everything down in two files. One for me and one for Mr. Queen." She stated while walking, Gerry right beside her. "Alright?"

"Got it, Ma'am-" Gerry stopped when Felicity shot him a look, "Felicity."

"Good." She grinned a little, "Now I'm down at the site with Mr. Queen and Walter. If you need anything, you can come down there." She ended her side of the conversation and then made her way towards the lift.

Taking a deep breath, she pressed the button before waiting for the lift to approach.

She really had a long day ahead of her.

…

"I must say," Walter started, "You both have done a brilliant job." Oliver smiled a little before answering, "This was all Felicity." He declared.

The idea was something that she had put forward a while ago and it had managed to impress the board of directors who were willing to help if necessary. Although, Oliver did play a part in it, it had been Felicity who had worked hard on it, along with the people working in the Applied Sciences Division, "And Richard." He added as an afterthought, he happened to be the head of the said division.

"What about Richard?" They heard a voice and pivoted their head ever so slightly in Felicity's direction, "We were just talking about how hard you all have worked on this project." Walter answered her question, "I wish Robert was around to see this. He always wanted to-"

"Help people." Felicity completed his sentence as her eyes flickered towards the sign that said – _Robert Queen Co-generation Project._

"He would have been proud."

_Yeah, he would have._

She glanced around, wanting to check if everything was get going. They were people moving from here and there, their arms loaded with boxes that she was sure contained a few electronic components. She took a deep breath before turning towards the people standing right beside, "I should check on the material-"

"I've already done that." Oliver cut her off and Felicity blinked, "All of it?" Her lips parted a little in surprise and Oliver smiled a little before nodding, "All of it."

She was one of the reasons why he was so invested in this project. She had been working on it for quite a long time but for the past few days, it had taken a complete toll on her and Oliver was happy. Because it distracted her. She became too focused on her job that she had forgotten about the emotional rollercoaster they had been going through for the past few weeks.

It was good. It was better than anything to be honest. She talked to him. Not in general, _never _in general to be honest-but about work and Oliver was glad that at least something was happy. "I should still go check though before things become chaotic-"

"You worry too much. I've have this under control." Felicity frowned a little before nodding her head. Oliver was working well these days and as much as she tried to deny, a small part of her was happy – _because he was the co-CEO, duh.-_ that he getting back to his old self.

Now not the old self that he was during her initial days in Starling (okay, maybe that minus the whole being an asshole part) but the old self he was before. She could see _Oliver _and despite everything, the thought of that made her smile.

But that didn't change anything, right?

Of course it didn't.

She won't let it.

"So, you when do you want to have the press conference?" Walter asked the duo who were staring at each other, snapping them out of their reverie, "Huh?" Felicity mumbled, a bit flustered.

"There is no need for that, Walter." Felicity closed her eyes, recognizing the voice almost instantly, "Mom," She heard Oliver greet his motherand Felicity reluctantly turned towards her, nodding her head ever so slightly just to acknowledge her presence. "Felicity." Moira smiled at her and Felicity smiled back albeit reluctantly.

Felicity had always been aware of the fact that Moira always wanted the best for her son. Even back when they were dating, she always used to eye Felicity sceptically as if unsure whether she was good enough for him and then, the more time she started spending with his family-she started to warm up to her and Felicity was glad about it. Robert had become her dad so easily, but it took a while before Moira became the 'mom'. She figured it was because of their personality differences. Her dad always told that she was hard to handle and even if it had taken a long time for them to get along, they did eventually.

But then, they got divorced and Felicity wasn't surprised when she sided with Oliver because he was her son. She just didn't expect to be receiving such a hard time from them because honestly, they were her family too, weren't they?

And now they expected the situation to go back to normal but it can't and it _won't. _Somewhere in the near future, Felicity could see herself be civil with them but apart from that nothing. Besides, she was only here for a couple of months, right? Get this company on track and then it hand it over to Oliver before getting out of their lives forever.

Yeah, that was the plan.

"I was thinking about hosting a gala," Moira started and Felicity focused her attention towards her, "Since it is named after Robert, I want it to be grand. I want people to know how much this will help them and how hard you all have worked on it."

"That seems like a good idea." Walter supplied and Oliver hummed in agreement while Felicity didn't utter a word.

An industrial gala at the Queen Mansion?

No way.

"Actually I think it is better if we-"

"Felicity," Moira started, her voice soft and Felicity resisted the urge to run her index finger through her ear because even now, it didn't seem like reality when she talked to her politely, "I know we have our issues but this is for Robert. Do it for him."

Felicity sighed.

"Of course." She mumbled out and Moira smiled at her, "Thank you."

Felicity simply nodded her head before looking away.

Party at Queen Mansion.

Fate just keeps screwing with her, right?

…

"So, what do you think?" Felicity sighed as she finally told her mom everything that they had been planning to do for the past few weeks.

"Sweetheart, that is amazing." Donna smiled and Felicity nodded, "Our Company is the leading multinational company in Starling, you know? First the acquisition, now this project." She bit back a smile, "Things are going well." She clarified all of a sudden, shaking her head. "Not in my personal world." She blinked, "I mean my personal world is fine too but you know, how ex-family, ex-husband stuff, it's not fine. I mean it is fine but not _fine _fine."

Donna laughed, "I get it. I mean not everything-"She started, referring to the business stuff, "But something." She paused for a second, "About all of this going on-"

"Hey," Felicity looked up and Donna stopped talking midway, "Am I interrupting something?" Oliver asked, his voice dropping when he noticed the iPad in Felicity's hands, "As a matter of fact, yes." Felicity's voice was crisp.

Oh, things were so not well in her personal world.

"I'm sorry but-" Oliver stopped for a second, breathing a little, "Mom was planning on having the gala the day after tomorrow, is that-"

"Wait, Moira's planning it?" Donna's voice ricocheted across the small space, "She's…_nicer?" _

Oliver's lips twitched a little, "Is that…is that Donna?" He asked and Felicity sighed before nodding. The next second, she turned the iPad in his direction and Donna blinked a little at the sudden change of the surroundings, "Mom meet Oliver. Oliver meet mom." She ranted off as this was the first time they had seen each other.

"Oliver," Donna started and Oliver smiled a little, "I wish I could have said it was nice seeing you." His smile dimmed, "Donna-"

"But unfortunately, I can't. So why don't we skip this awkward exchange?" She didn't try to hide the fact that she had no interest in talking to him and Felicity almost opened her mouth to stop her but instead chose to bite her lip instead. "I-"Oliver paused, looking away for a second, not knowing what to say, "I wish you could have said that too." He uttered out and Felicity blinked, her mouth parting over ever so slightly.

Oliver let out a little sigh, "Felicity, I wanted to ask-are you…are you okay with the gala being day after tomorrow?" Felicity nodded her head, "Uh..yeah. We need a day to get all of this together."

"I know." Oliver spoke before pausing, "I wish things were different too, Donna." He looked at her ex-mother-in-law, "I really wish they were." His eyes flickered towards his ex-wife before he turned around and left the cabin. And Felicity took that as her cue as she turned the iPad around.

"He looks…" Donna started with a frown.

"Remorseful." Felicity supplied almost unconsciously, "Unfortunately, that doesn't help my case." She tried to laugh it off, her face coiling up ever so slightly as she contemplated, "He…" Her voice trailed off as she stared at the cabin door, the place where he had been standing moments ago, "He really does, doesn't he?" Her voice softened ever so slightly as she looked ahead, not looking at her mother.

And a small part of her wanted the same as him.

She wishes things were different too.

Alas, they weren't.

"Felicity," Donna's voice snapped her out of her trance and she focused back on her, "Huh?" Her eyebrows rose, "You were saying something?"

"Yup." She nodded her head, "I'm sitting here in my house, in my pyjamas-"

"Uhuh," Felicity nodded her head, her hand coming underneath her chin.

"You don't introduce me to billionaires when I'm wearing pyjamas." Donna spoke emphatically, "You don't."

"You look nice though."

"I always look nice." Her mother stated, "But not the best. The point is-you don't introduce me to billionaire when I'm in my pyjamas, especially when I'm trying to sound threatening."

"That didn't sound threatening though."

"Like I said, it's the pyjamas."

…

Donna sighed the minute she got off her laptop. She pushed it towards the side, her mind scrambling as she recalled her conversation with Felicity.

Donna knew.

Of course she did.

She knew her daughter still had feelings for him. Come to think of it, they never really go away-she knew how long did it take for her to start dating again-to forget her own past. When Felicity was young, this was probably the only fear she had stuck in her mind. That she'll end up alone too and she did. Before she had met Oliver in person, she knew her daughter had feelings for him. She used to light up like a Christmas tree when she talked about him.

She had been in love with him.

She was _still _in love with him.

However, the first time she had met him-she didn't notice her daughter. She noticed the wide smile on the face of her future son-in-law, his eyes bright as he greeted her. She noticed the way his hand lingered on the small of her back, the way he teased her just enough to irk her up but then also knew how to reassure her, the quiet exchanges between them that spoke volumes.

He had been it for her Felicity.

To be honest, she wasn't surprised when Oliver had popped the question. It was clear that the couple was in love. Although, she was surprised when Oliver came to her a few days later-asking for her permission, babbling about the proposal had been spontaneous and he didn't get the time to ask her permission. He had reassured her that he wasn't going to leave her and even if Donna didn't need that reassurance- _she knew_\- she was glad that her Felicity had ended up with him.

And then, they got married and Donna couldn't have been happier. She remembered how much did Felicity care for his family, how much did she seem to be a part of it. When she started calling Oliver's dad her dad, it made her feel happy because she had found her family. She had found someone to walk her down the aisle-she had found someone she called her 'dad'. It was like all the voids in her life were filling up. She wouldn't admit this but she has cried when she saw Felicity and Robert dance at the wedding. He had a great family-_she _had a great family, even Moira was good back in the day, his sister was a sweetheart, and his grandmother was probably one of the coolest people she had ever come across.

And that was saying something since she was pretty cool herself.

And then Conner came. She had been glad that she had made it in time just to see her grandson and he was beautiful. Because let's face it-blue eyes and blonde hair was a _deathly _combination-and she was elated. He reminded her of the time when her Felicity was a little girl and God, had she missed that.

Her Felicity had entered motherhood and she _glowed_. It's like life takes a turn for the better. Hey, they say a mother's life reside inside her child, right?

And then they lost him. Donna remembered the time when she had received the news that Felicity and him were in an accident. She had booked the next flight to Starling, all the while chewing her nails-and she _never _chews her nails because hello? They need to look beautiful-and praying to God that they were alright

He was gone before she had made it there.

She remembered falling on the hospital chairs that were lined up in the hallway, her heart dropping into her stomach. The cries of the Queen Family echoed across the hallway and she remembered a couple of reassurances that they had whispered but it was all in vain-

Because he was _gone._

Dead.

And in that one moment all that Donna had been able to think about his was first birthday party that had happened a month ago, he was just _one. _

As she allowed had herself to cry, another dreadful realization had hit her.

Felicity and Oliver.

And in that moment, Donna had stood up from her chair and had allowed herself to peek into the hospital room. The scene was still engraved in her mind.

Her daughter curled up around her husband, her hand clenching his shirt in her hand tightly. Lips wobbling, her eyes sewn shut as if afraid that if she opened them she would have to accept reality.

She remembered everything.

She remembered the look on her daughter's face.

It was the same look she had when Donna had talked to her and told her that her father had left. She had clung to her with the same look on her face, afraid that her mother would leave her too.

She had been afraid that she'll lose Oliver too.

She couldn't make out what they had been talking about but Felicity had kept on mumbling something repeatedly which had only made Oliver's arms tighten around her before he had leaned down to kiss her forehead which had a bandage covering it. She had then shifted her eyes towards Oliver who had been biting his lip all along and Donna had been sure that he had been trying to control his sobs.

But even then, a small tear had managed to escape his eye.

Donna had felt her heart break in two.

And then things became worse.

Felicity cried but she didn't talk to anyone. She usually just sat in one corner, staring at nothing and Donna didn't know how to help her.

No one did.

Oliver had tried talking to her but she didn't respond. Donna didn't know how to help them. She cried for her daughter, she cried for her son-in-law who was didn't know what to do-who felt like he had felt like the accident had taken away his son and his wife too.

But then she opened up to him. Just a tiny bit but she did and Donna had felt hopeful. Eventually, she had to go back to Vegas but she had been hopeful that they'll find their way back to each other.

They didn't.

A couple of months later, she got to know that they were in they were about to get divorced and she had shouted at Felicity, demanding answers but she didn't listen to her.

Instead, she had started crying brutally.

And that was when Donna got to know what had happened.

She didn't believe it at first.

Because they were in _love. _They loved each other so much-how was this possible?

But then, when she did-she was _furious._

She had tried calling Oliver but every time she did, he didn't pick up or worse he just cut it off. It made her realize how intense the situation really was.

She had asked Felicity to call them and just try to talk them – once.

_Once._

And she did.

She didn't know what did they say to her but it certainly wasn't good since she had started to break down again.

Felicity _Smoak._

That is what she used to mumble.

"_Not a Queen, Smoak." _She used to murmur.

And Donna had felt her heart break all over again.

She was lost.

Lost without her husband and her child. She used to blame herself for her child's death. Blame herself for something that was inevitable. She didn't sleep at nights because _she couldn't. _She just _couldn't. _ Donna remembered how long it took her to be herself again. She had tried to commit suicide and that was when Donna realized how far she was really gone and that was when she shifted to Central City.

She had almost lost her daughter.

And the thought itself made her want to cry.

Then things had started to change, she went to work-distracted herself completely from all the tragedies of her life and even if Donna knew that in the long run, this thing won't help her she let it happen.

Because she was selfish.

She didn't want to see her daughter suffer. Suffer because of a man who didn't even care about her.

It had taken a long time for her to be herself again. They were times that Donna had wanted to talk to the Queen family, demand explanations but Felicity stopped her, saying they weren't worth it.

And then, she told her the entire story. Turns out, Donna wasn't aware of the final exchange between them.

And that was when Donna had started hating them.

And when Felicity told her about the conversation they had in Coast City, Donna did feel a twinge of sympathy for the guy but she had shrugged it off, anger taking over her. She was angry at him for assuming things so easily, angry at him for not realizing how much had he lost-

She was angry at the world for doing this to her daughter.

Still, despite everything that had happened-she still could see something in her daughter's eyes. Whenever she talked about him, the way she _cared-_she cared so much-it was evident. Despite everything that had happened between the two, she still loved him.

And maybe it would take a long time for her to get over him but she was sure that she will.

Because Oliver didn't deserve her.

And today, she saw that spark again.

"_He really does, doesn't he?"_

And not only with Felicity.

"_I really wish they were."_

She saw it in Oliver too.

…

"Two files," Felicity mumbled as she placed the files at one end of her table, leaning down to tick on her check list, "Test run," She ticked again, "Manage-"

"You still here?" She turned around only to see Oliver, "You're still here?" She echoed his statement, a frown on her face.

"Yeah, actually I was checking everything that was-" He stopped midway, shaking his head, "What are you doing here?" He looked at his wrist, "It's almost two." He uttered out and Felicity had finally turned around, bending down as she checked her list, "I know that." She mumbled while doing so.

"So..why are you working?" He asked again, this time walking towards her. Felicity's hand moved on the piece of paper as she murmured, "You know I like to get things-" She started.

"Done a day before the last day," Oliver completed the sentence and Felicity turned her head towards the right only to find him staring at her.

She blinked a little at the proximity, the silent 'yeah' dying down in her throat. Her eyes met his, his eyes moving down as hers flickered towards his lips.

He was near her.

He was really really _near _her.

She could smell his cologne and-how can he smell so could at two o'clock at night?-and she wasn't sure when was the last time she had been this close to Oliver.

Wait, what were they talking about again?

"Felici-"He almost whispered and that was when she finally snapped. She hastily took a step back, wanting to be away from him.

"I-"

This was what she had been so afraid so.

Giving in.

Allowing herself to get reeled back into the same life that had ruined her.

She wasn't supposed to talk to him. Wasn't even supposed to acknowledge him let alone be this close to her.

"I should-" She mumbled, "Focus on this." She reached for her checklist, raising it in the air, placing the paper between Oliver and her.

"Yeah," Oliver smiled a little, stepping back as well. Hs eyes flickered towards the floor for a split second, "You should."

"Of course I should." She started, "It's not like you and I have anything to talk about, right? I don't even like you right now-no, mister. You're not in my top list." She shook her head hastily, "Nope. No."

Oliver sighed a little, "Felicity can we just talk about this?" He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Once?"

Felicity bit her lip.

To be very frank, it had been quite a long time since they had properly talked to each other. Had even acknowledged each other's existence. Well, she didn't. He however did. It wasn't easy for Felicity too. When they talked-_fought, _it was better than the situation they were going through right now. Now, it was just she ignoring him. To be honest, it did feel good to be on the giving end for once and not on the receiving end. But still, she couldn't help the fact that she did worry about him. As a CEO-of course but she did.

But does that mean she forgave him?

Was she really ready to forget everything that had happened between the two of them?

_You mean nothing to me._

_Just the way you ruined my life._

_Leftover._

Was she over it?

"No."

Oliver closed his eyes for a second. To be honest, he expected that. What had he really done to deserve it? Felicity had always been a strong woman and he was proud of the way, she had been standing up for herself. But he couldn't help but hope. Sure, things had changed but he…._hoped._

"Like I said, things don't change overnight, Oliver." She looked at him, "You can't change overnight or this case, a couple of nights. So let's just forget about it." She declared, leaning down to pick up her files. "Because I don't think there is any way in which we can get over the past."

She turned around, choosing this moment to walk away. And as much as the reality of the situation hurt her, it was the right thing to do.

Oliver stared at her retreating figure, not knowing what to say.

_Things don't change overnight, Oliver ._

What if he hadn't really changed?

What if the thought of her leaving just hurt him too much?

What if something was still there?

What if she still…meant something to him?

Oliver wondered a little before shrugging them off. Because no matter how many of these thoughts invaded his mind-the reality didn't change.

They were too far gone, weren't they?

…

Oliver groaned a little as the rays of the sun hit him. Instinctively, he moved his hand, covering his face, his eyes squinting before he finally blinked them open. His hand moved towards his neck, massaging the back of it as he looked around, realizing he was in his cabin, asleep on his chair.

He frowned a little, wondering how he ended up here in the first place before he recalled last night's events. After his conversation with Felicity, he had walked to his cabin, thinking maybe some work could distract him from his tragic marital, well-what you used to be his marital life.

A knock at his door that got his attention and he looked up only to find his assistant, standing there with what he assumed was a coffee cup in her hand. He looked at his watch, realizing it was ten am. He moved his right hand, gesturing her to come in while the fingers of his left hand massaged his eyes.

"Good morning Sir," Evelyn smiled a little and Oliver nodded his head, his hand curling around the cup of coffee she had just placed on his table, "Is Ms. Smoak awake yet?"

"I'm not sure," Evelyn frowned, "But I think she is. Gerry went to-" She turned her head little, pointing towards his cabin door where Gerry and she sit, "fetch her coffee."

Oliver got up, his hand still around the cup rather than the holder itself. "I'll check on her." He told her before picking up the files that were kept on his table.

He blinked a little, trying to get rid of the fatigue before opening the door to her cabin. He expected Gerry to be there to be honest but to his surprise all that he found out was his ex-wife sleeping on her chair, her hand underneath chin. Oliver tried to holdback a smile, his mind reeling back to the times where she used to stay up late at nights to get her work done. In the morning, he used to wake up only to find her sleeping in this position or with her head lying on the table. Oliver preferred the latter position than the former. Mainly because-

Felicity's arm loosened a little, her hand losing its grip as her head moved a little, falling downwards before she regained her momentum and placed her hand back in its original place.

Yeah, that usually leads to a stiff neck.

He turned his head, hoping that Gerry would be making an appearance anytime soon but when he didn't, he entered the cabin, closing the door behind him ever so slightly. Walking towards the table, he looked at her again.

There was slight drool on the corner of her mouth, her makeup had worn off overnight and Oliver didn't complain. In fact, it made her look more beautiful if that was even possible. Her glasses were still intact, her hair in a ponytail and he had a feeling that she was mid-work when she dosed off.

What probably had started as a twenty minute nap-because, twenty minute naps rejuvenate you-Felicity's words not his, must had ended in a good proper sleep.

Oliver didn't complain.

She needed a good sleep.

A _comfortable _one.

But he also was aware of her habits.

Which means he was pretty sure that she was going to crib on waking up.

Because a) stiff neck, b) her hair was in a ponytail which he knew for a fact that she would _definitely _crib about c) her glasses were still intact.

Come to think of it, Oliver did complain about this.

Just then, the cabin door cracked open and Oliver whipped his head to look at Gerry. He frowned when he saw him but Oliver was grateful that he didn't say anything. He held a cup of coffee, cappuccino if he remembered her favourite correctly.

Honestly, he didn't know how Felicity had started drinking cappuccino. There was a time, both of them didn't like that drink. God knows, he still did not like it.

She liked cappuccino. It was one of the things Oliver didn't know about her but he did know for a fact that she would wake up being all cranky and he was the last person that she would want to see in the morning.

So he smiled at Gerry and walked out of the cabin.

Yeah, Felicity was better off without him.

…

Oliver was sipping his coffee when his eyes flickered towards hi cabin through. He saw Evelyn and Gerry standing at the other end. He moved his chair a little, trying to look at them clearly, "Gerry?"

The young man turned towards him, "Yes sir?"

"Is Ms. Smoak available to talk?" He asked and Gerry shook his head hastily before realizing what he was doing, "I don't think she is ready to talk or to meet anyone." He supplied, "She is-"

"Cranky." Oliver completed the sentence. He bit his lip for a second, his face turning the other way ever so slightly as he contemplated, "Gerry."

The man hummed in reply.

"Get her some lemon tea," He told him, "Two cups water, one table spoon of lemon juice and instead of sugar add two drops of honey," He ranted off the recipe, "Alright?"

He looked flustered for a second before nodding his head, "On it."

He saw Gerry leave, his eyes turning towards the wall that separated him from Felicity. It was weird. They knew each other, of course they did. Time had changed and so did they.

But somehow they did.

He remembered the first time he gave her that drink. She had been working tirelessly for a continuous week and Oliver remembered how cranky she had become by the end of the week. It was then that he offered her Raisa's special lemon tea and she loved it. Although she did curse him later on for not telling him about it. Though in his defence, he thought she already knew.

Nevertheless Felicity loved the tea.

And then, she _appointed _him-yes, appointed him to greet her with that lemon tea every now and then. Especially when she was in a sucky mood. It helped her when she was pregnant with Conner- _helped him _when she was pregnant with Conner. To keep it simple, a pregnant Felicity was a scary Felicity. Which made him kinda familiar with these situations.

Situations he was sure about when she needed that drink. Whenever she worked late at night or was up because of Conner-they were up because of Conner. It was this drink that calmed her down. That and doctor who marathons. The time her favourite heel broke and she had to walk all the way home barefoot. It was there for _extreme _situations. Situations that ticked her nerves and made her want to scratch her eyes-her words not his.

It was a miracle really.

A second later he saw Gerry on the other side of his cabin who nodded his head at him.

He sighed.

At least he could do something right.

…

**February 2010**

"_This isn't right. This is too high. I can't do this."_

"_Yes, you can." Oliver reassured her, "I mean what's the worst that could happen?" _

"_We could fall and die." Felicity glared at him and Oliver smiled a little, "Exactly." And Felicity whacked his arm, "This isn't funny." Her eyes travelled down towards the cliff and her eyes widened. She could feel the bile rising in her throat, "I can-"_

"_We will do this." Oliver told her firmly, his hands moving around to grab her waist and Felicity moved closer to her, "I don't think I can." Her shoulder hit his and she leaned a little closer to him._

"_Nope, we will though. I spent a lot of money on this."_

"_So apparently money is more important than me?" Her eyebrows rose in question and Oliver blinked, "Is that a trick question?"_

_Felicity whacked his chest, "You're such an asshole." She made a face, a frown covering her forehead, "We're really going to do this."_

"_Yup." Oliver grinned. Felicity jerked a little in surprise when she felt the instructor speak, "We're here." Her stunned eyes met the instructors who looked at her confused and finally Oliver spoke, "She is just little scared."_

"_Whoa, Mister that is an understatement. I was a little scared when I had to climb monkey bars when I was a kid or when I had to hack into the government because Cooper the psycho ex-boyfriend wanted to be do it," She blinked rapidly, "Right now I am death scared."_

"_It's just skydiving, Felicity."_

"_Exactly, sky and diving-two words that should not be spoken together."_

"_Mrs. Queen, this it will be alright. It will be fun. Just tell me when you're ready."_

_She almost gulped out, "I never will be ready."_

"_She will be though," Oliver hugged her tightly and Felicity wrapped her arms around him, hiding her face in his chest, "No, I won't." She shivered a little imaging the worst case scenario in her mind and Oliver rubbed her back, "It'll be fine. This is supposed to fun, remember? We were supposed to do this together."_

"_That was before I realized that we had to dive off from a 10, 000 feet mountain." _

"_Really?" Surprise was evident in his tone, "You do know the definition of skydive, right?" _

"_Of course I do, you idiot." She muttered, "But I thought I could do it since we were doing it together but-"_

"_We are doing it together, Felicity." Oliver told her and Felicity's voice became hoarse, "But this is so deep-"Oliver stopped her short, placing his hands on her shoulder, "Hey." His voice was soft and Felicity looked up, "Jokes apart," His hand found her cheek, "Tell me the reason why we signed up for this sport in the first place,"_

"_You forced me too."_

_Oliver laughed, "Felicity."_

"_I thought I can get over my fear of heights and it will be fun and I will have something cool to say about my honeymoon." She paused, "We get to do something together." _

"_Exactly." Oliver raised his hand, linking it with hers, "You wanted to get over your fear. You wanted us to do something together," He tightened his hold on her, "So why are you backing out now? We'll be doing this together. And it'll be fun," He reassured her._

"_You won't let go of me, right?" She looked at him and he smiled a little, "Never."_

_Taking a deep breath, she managed to peek out of the helicopter, "Okay." Her voice became a little bit heavy and Oliver laughed, "It'll be alright. Come on!" He pulled her up. _

_Felicity closed her eyes tightly. She could feel Oliver's arms around her before a belt was put of the two of them. "You can open your eyes, Mrs. Queen," The instructor laughed a little and Felicity did just that before glaring at him._

_He turned towards Oliver, "You know what to do, right?" He nodded his head, taking a just a second to fix the glasses he was wearing. "Jump, glide and pull." He repeated and Oliver nodded. Felicity almost shrieked the second she was standing in front of the door. Oliver chuckled a little before dropping a kiss on her head from behind, "Okay, now we have to jump."_

_Felicity stopped short, "Oliver." _

"_Huh?"_

"_Push me." She told him, knowing she won't be able to do it, "This is super scary and look at the height-"_

_Oliver pushed her. _

_Her shriek must have echoed across the entire city of Paris. The wind hit her face and she finally gathered the courage to open her eyes. It was a good thing she was wearing goggles._

_And she might have admitted this later on._

_She had felt free during the dive. She had felt happy. The air hitting her face, the falling from the sky, Oliver's arms around her. _

_It felt surreal._

_And she certainly loved it._

…

"Felicity?"

On hearing no response, Oliver frowned. He pushed the door and entered her cabin, his eyes looking around, trying to find her. He made a beeline towards her table, the files that he was supposed to hand over clenched in his hand. Well, this was the second time this was happening, so Oliver figured it was better to just keep the files on the table and when she will come, she would automatically see it and approach him about it.

He placed the files on the table. His grin a lopsidedly when he saw the cup of tea lying on her table instead of cappuccino. He turned around, ready to leave the cabin when his eyes flickered towards the bathroom door that was slightly open allowing him to have a peek inside.

She was standing right in front of the mirror. Oliver paused mid-step, her attention shifted towards his ex-wife. He watched as she wiggled her hair in front of the mirror. He knew it was because of the fact that she had slept with her hair being tied and it could be _really _tight. He watched as she leaned down and splashed some water on her face before looking back into the mirror and fixing her hair again. The strands close to her face were wet and he watched as she tried to blow one of them off her face rather unsuccessfully. She blinked her eyes repeatedly in front of the mirror before she stretched her mouth, trying to check if her teeth looked alright. Her rosy cheeks pushed up, her eyes squinting as she looked at herself in the mirror. Rubbing a finger on of her teeth, he saw her scrunching her nose a little.

Oliver was fascinated.

She looked adorable.

He remembered all of this. Back when they were together and he came back from a long tiring day, he would lay on his bed waiting for her to join him while laughing at her antics. She used to glare at him playfully while he mocked her about her habits, her face pack, her dyed hair but secretly he loved it. He loved the fact that she didn't hide from him. Loved the fact that this is what he had to look forward to at the end of the day.

Because it used to feel like home.

It was his home.

Felicity blinked a little before turning around and exiting the bathroom. "Whoa," She mumbled, her eyes widening at the sight of Oliver. "This is an invasion of privacy." She declared while making her way towards her desk.

"I-I was-" Oliver stuttered for the right word. Felicity's eyebrows rose in question and Oliver shook his head a little before looking at the files in his hand, "I came to give this." He spoke, "I debriefed the entire test run and it's good to go."

"Well it should be, I would be really pissed off if it didn't." Felicity muttered, placing the files on the table at one end. Oliver saw her looking at her glasses which were lying on the table before she cringed a little and put them away. Rubbing the area above her right ear, she closed her eyes for a second, "I-"She paused for a minute as if trying to think straight. Oliver bit his lip, contemplating whether he should say something or not. "You should probably sit down and-"But Felicity cut him off. "Yeah, I can think for myself. I don't need you-"She pointed her finger in his direction, "telling me anything. You are not even supposed to talk to me-I am not supposed to talk to you," She huffed, "Don't get wrong ideas in your head if I talk to you. Because after last night Mister, I have decided." She looked at him, "I won't be talking to you and that whole close to close thing won't be happening." She glared, "Ever."

Well, come to think of it Oliver should have felt offended. Well if not offended than definitely hurt. Not that he didn't deserve it though but instead his lips quivered a little as he fought back a smile. "I get it."

"Good." She narrowed her eyes and Oliver simply raised his hands in the air in surrender. "I'm taking this," He gestured towards the file and Felicity nodded her head. "Yeah, Richard made that file. It has everything with the project on there." Oliver gave a slight nod and that before turning around.

Felicity sighed to herself as she saw him walk away. Last night, she might have gotten her work done but she had been distracted. She had thought about last night's events and it made her reach a conclusion that maybe this work related thing had made her ease up on Oliver.

Which shouldn't be the case to be very honest.

Plus, she had slept horrendously.

The back of her neck hurt, so did the area above her ears-she really hated her glasses at this point. To top it all, she knew her hair was full of sweat and it irked her so much.

"Today you're on a day off, right?" Oliver turned around the very last minute and Felicity nodded her head, "Yep." She mumbled, "A day off is all I need." She muttered to herself.

Oliver raised an eyebrow in question when he heard her mutter something.

He watched as she reached for the cup of tea that was lying on the table. Taking a sip, he saw her frown, her eyes looking down at the liquid in the cup before she looked at him. For a second, neither of the two said anything and Oliver almost felt like she wanted to say something. But the next second, Felicity turned her gaze away.

Oliver didn't say a word either. He just simply turned around and left her cabin.

Had he been there, he would have noticed Felicity's shoulder sagging down and her taking a sigh of relief. He also would have noticed the small smile that was beginning to form on her face.

And he certainly would have noticed her staring at him.

Because she definitely knew it was him.

…

Oliver looked at his psychiatrist-Lisa, they had finally come to first name basis.

It didn't make him feel anything less than a patient though.

"So," She started and Oliver almost bit back a groan, he didn't want to talk. His grip tightened on the pen he was holding, his hand stopping midway. He won't deny it, he liked writing. He liked writing about his past and present. For once, it felt like they was someone-this paper was something that would not judge him. That writing it would not make any difference. He can be cruel, he can crib and no one would question. He didn't have any responsibilities.

He could afford to grieve.

"How are things at the company?" She asked and Oliver shrugged, "They're alright."

"Do you think this project thing," She started, her hands moving, "Is bridging the gap between the two of you?"

Was it?

Was it really bridging the gap between them? Surely, things had become a bit more verbal in the last few days, but it still wasn't good enough and in all honesty, Oliver didn't blame her. What had he actually done to earn that forgiveness?

But had things changed?

To be very honest, things between them were changing on a daily basis. It was like, at one point they were close-_really close-_he recalled last night's events while the next minute they are miles away from the other.

"I don't know." He murmured and Lisa let out an exasperated sigh, "Oliver, we have to talk about this, you know? I need a little more than I don't know."

Oliver looked up, "I don't know." He repeated, his eyes turning towards the right ever so slightly as he contemplated, "I don't know what is happening between the two of us and I-" He paused, a frown appearing on his forehead, "I don't want to dwell on it." He sighed, "Yeah. I don't want to." He uttered out last minute.

"Because dwelling on it makes it real." The doctor finished, "You know," She started as she got up, "What your basic problem is Oliver?"

Oliver's eyebrow rose, "You run away from your problems." She paused, stopping behind the couch she had been sitting on moments ago, her arms landing on it for support, "From your feelings for Felicity because you think you're not good enough. You run from your family because you think you should be strong, you're running from your son's death because you're afraid to let him."

"No, I don't."

"Really?"

"I am engaged to Laurel." Being his psychiatrist, she had to be told everything.

Which included being told about an engagement which was still under wraps from the public.

"That is not the answer I'm looking for." She countered.

Oliver shrugged.

"Let's talk about your son?"

"I don't thi-"

"His death anniversary is in a week, Oliver."

Oliver closed his eyes before he opened them. Lisa passed him a wry smile knowing it must be painful for him, "I know." He murmured, his voice becoming soft.

Three years.

It's been almost three years.

Of course he remembered.

"Do you miss him?" The question wasn't supposed to be psychological. The doctor just wanted him to share his him. This was the maximum amount of emotion she had been able to garner out of him and she didn't want to ask him to talk about him.

In this moment, she just wanted him to feel.

Feel something.

"Everyday."

And he did.

In that moment, Oliver Queen felt grief. He felt remorse. The fingers of hand twitched. He never really understood where he had adopted this habit from. It was just an involuntary move. His fingers twitched, his thumb rubbing the inside of his index finger.

It was as if he was trying to hold on to something.

Hold on to something that was non-existing.

In that moment, Oliver Queen felt loss.

And she knew as much as he tried to deny it, Oliver went through that feeling every day.

He went through that feeling in the form of Felicity Smoak.

…

**March 2010**

_Okay, Felicity Smo-Queen (she really had to get used to that) was confused._

_She was really really confused._

_Meanwhile, all she could see was Oliver grinning like a kid as he drove her somewhere. _

_She never really liked surprises. _

_Because they were always a mystery until revealed. A mystery that needed solving and it bugged her._

_So she tried her luck again, "Oliver, where are we going?"_

"_Do you seriously expect me to just tell you about it?" Oliver looked at her for a second as Felicity shrugged her shoulder and bit her bottom lip, "Yeah?" Her eyes were wide and Oliver knew, the biting of the lip was a deliberate action, "No." He shook his head and Felicity groaned before letting go of his hand that she had been holding during the drive, "Fine then." She crossed her arms before turning her head towards the window._

"_It's a surprise, Felicity." He enunciated the word 'surprise' as if he was talking to a toddler._

"_I know that," She raised her arms, "But surprises bug me. I don't like surprises." She huffed, "It just makes me wonder about them and I can't stop thinking about them." She pointed towards her brain while saying the last sentence, "They bug me."_

"_Well, you might start liking them after you see this one," Oliver looked at her and Felicity groaned, "You're not helping my case, Oliver!" She stated, "Really not helping it." She sighed as she heard her husband's laugh, "You're mean."_

"_Thank you."_

"_That wasn't a compliment."_

"_I'll take it as one."_

"_You're really mean."_

"_You really wanna go through that again?"_

_Felicity narrowed her eyes at him._

…

_Now this was the last thing Felicity had expected. In hindsight, she should have put two and two together. The saving money campaign that he was on for the past few months, the late nights at Verdant –_

_But in a way, she was glad she didn't. _

_The first thing that caught her attention was the names written on the front the door. The words Oliver Queen was written in white in contrast with the black door. It wasn't that word that made her heart swell in her chest._

_It was the word written write beneath it._

_Felicity Queen._

_She looked at Oliver in surprise who smiled a little._

_Opening the door, she peeked in. The walls painted and the floors were furnished. A couch as placed in the living room itself, the one brick wall blending well with the other three cream walls. There was an LCD placed right in front of the couch, two shelves placed right beside it._

_It was pretty awesome. _

_And it was exactly what Felicity had dreamed off._

"_Remember what you once told me?" Oliver started and Felicity frowned, "That you always wanted a house."_

_Of course she did._

"_A house that had three rooms in it. One room for us and the rest for the kids that'll we have. You wanted an LCD set in the living room so that you could watch Harry Potter and Doctor who with them," Felicity felt tears pool in her eyes, "You wanted a bookshelf to keep all your books in there. A bal-"_

"_Balcony to check on the kids when they go out to play." She completed his sentence, "A room with the fluffiest of comforter and sliding doors because sliding doors are awesome," She smiled through her tears, "A home we can come to when we want to be away from everyone. A home that just belonged to the two of us."_

"_Remember what you called it?" Oliver spoke, his hands surrounding her waist from behind, "Our haven." She whispered and Oliver kissed her cheek, "This is our apartment, Felicity. Our home. Our haven." _

_She liked the Queen Mansion, of course she did. It was their home but she liked this too. This was Oliver and Felicity. Not the influential Queens, not Oliver Queen the son or Felicity Queen the daughter-in-law, this was just Oliver and Felicity._

_Husband and wife._

_And she loved the sound of it._

_She turned around almost instantly, looking at him. Tears dripped down her cheeks causing Oliver to frown. "What's wrong?" He muttered, "I swear just wanted to do this to make you happy." He wiped her tears with his thumb, "I never wanted to make you cry. I'm sorry-"_

_Felicity looked at her surroundings once again._

_Our home._

_Our haven._

_She cut Oliver's rant short by throwing herself at him. Her head landed on his shoulder as she whispered, "I love it. I love it so much." Oliver breathed a sigh of relief at that before he hugged her tightly, "I'm glad."_

"_I love you so much," She spoke. What had she done to deserve this man? "So so much." She tightened her arms around his neck and Oliver could feel his shoulder getting wet. _

"_Now, you want to see the rest of the house or you just want to cry?" Felicity's grip loosened a little but she didn't let go, "Because my shirt is getting wet and this is not cheap."_

_Felicity pulled away, her chuckles echoing across the room and Oliver smiled. "I love you too." He told her and Felicity nodded before kissing him. _

_Both of them smiled during the kiss and it took Oliver literally seconds to wrap both of his hands around her. Meanwhile, Felicity wrapped her arms around his neck, her lips forming a grin that only Oliver could bring on her face._

_This was it._

_This was their haven._

_This was their home._

_And they loved every bit of it._

…

Blue eyes wondered around as Felicity tried to locate a familiar face. As if coming to the Queen Mansion wasn't enough, she was now standing in one corner, clenching a glass of red wine in her hand _all alone. _

She was really bored.

The only people that had approached her so far were a couple of business people-because let's face it business_men_ sounds a bit sexist-who wanted to congratulate her.

She just wanted to talk to someone familiar.

She might even say that she missed Oliver a little.

Only a little though.

Her eyes flickered towards the hallway almost expecting someone familiar to pop out. As if on cue, she saw Oliver coming out of the said hallway, his hands fixing the coat he was wearing and Felicity's eyes involuntarily moved up and down as she unabashedly checked him out.

He was wearing suspenders.

He was wearing his _sexy _suspenders.

Blue met blue and Oliver's eyebrows rose ever so slightly and Felicity knew she was being delusional for she saw his eyes move up and down as if he was checking her out. She saw him smile in her direction and Felicity could feel the corner of her mouth curl up except it didn't.

For she saw Laurel appearing right beside him and she might not even admit this, but did she feel something drop in the pit of her stomach.

There was reason why she called her _gorgeous _Laurel because she indeed was gorgeous.

She was standing right beside him in black gown, her hair tumbling down in waves and she looked beautiful.

Felicity suddenly felt a little conscious in her blue gown. She just mentally hoped that she was looking presentable and the bun she had worked hours on didn't open up.

But she was no Laurel, was she?

Because Laurel and Oliver looked really great together. He was a handsome successful man and she was a badass lawyer.

A match made in heaven.

They looked like they were meant for each other.

Felicity suddenly felt a pang in her chest as she looked at the duo. How long did it take Oliver to move on from her? Well, she shouldn't really be surprised too considering how he cheated on her but Laurel was his ex-girlfriend. Surely, the ties that they had were deep rooted and it made her wonder how long did it take for him to establish that bond and it made her question herself. She never had the guts to start dating. Sure, she had went on a few dates but never had she properly dated someone since the divorce. And from what she knew, Oliver and Laurel had been dating for the past one year.

One year.

Sometimes, these things made her wonder whether he really cared or not.

Or whether she just cared too much.

Looking at the two, one realization did dawn on her.

That Oliver and she weren't meant to be.

Guess, somethings were just never meant to happen.

"Felicity," She snapped out of her reverie when she heard Moira's voice. Mentally groaning, she did manage to pass a small smile in her direction, "Moira."

She was a diabolical woman.

Sometimes, she reminded Felicity of the Evil Queen in Snow White.

It really was marvellous how three years can change someone's perception about someone they were once close to.

"Do you like the arrangement?" She asked, her voice soft and Felicity nodded, "It's pretty awesome."

"I-" Felicity deliberately turned her face away from her because she knew where this conversation was going to lead, "I just wanted to apologize for all that I've ever done to you."

"I wish an apology could fix things Moira but they can't so-" The older lady nodded her head knowingly, "I know. I'm just sorry for everything. I just wanted to protect my son, Felicity."

"From what? His wife?"

"I had my misconceptions and I'm sorry for that. But all I ever wanted was to protect my son. You would know how that feels, right?"

Felicity could swear she had stopped breathing for that one moment, "No," She said after a moment, "I don't."

Moira blanched, "I didn't mean-"

"I don't know how that feels, Moira. I don't know what it is like having a son and protecting him. I had mine and I didn't protect him, instead I-" She took a deep breath, "Can you excuse me for a minute?" She didn't want to have this conversation with anyone.

She knew she didn't have her son.

She certainly didn't need to be reminded about that.

"Sure." Moira smiled sadly, "I really am sorry for everything, Felicity."

"Yeah?" Felicity asked, "So am I."

She walked past her.

Like she said, somethings were just never meant to happen.

…

Oliver's fingers twitched, a clear sign that he was nervous as he managed to catch a glimpse of Felicity who was standing in Conner's nursery.

So far, so good.

He was well aware of the fact that Felicity would come to visit the nursery. Of course she would. Sure, she didn't like talking about it anyone else but privately, she did grieve and Oliver knew all of this because he was the same.

And so he came up with this plan.

To be honest, it was pretty ridiculous but this was the best he could come up with.

Felicity had this habit. She would think about Conner, she would visit his grave, she would visit his nursery for a little while. During that time, she would think of him but when the grief would begin to overwhelm her, she would leave.

Oliver knew that ever since she had visited his grave, she had garnered courage and she was willing to move on. But now, ever since the whole Coast City event-he also was aware that she had given up on moving on from Conner.

_Twice._

He had let her fall twice. The first time, when she had gotten over everything and he had cheated on and _crushed _her completely and the second time, when they talked. He had brought back all those memories and insecurities and now, she was back on square one.

Come to think of it, Felicity had never really moved on. Had she did, these setbacks won't have brought her down. Ignoring the situation for a long while isn't the solution and that is what Oliver wanted. He wanted her to face it and be at peace with it.

He wanted her to realize that wherever he was, he was happy and she deserves happiness too.

And maybe it had taken him this long to realize his faults but now that he had, he won't stop until he fixed them.

And which is why he came up with this plan.

Today, Felicity would have to face some of her grief. She would have to. He had this all planned out. He looked at the waiter who nodded in his direction. All he had to do was lock the door.

She would have to face some of her problems today.

And yes, Oliver was concerned as to how she would react so he will be outside the house, keeping an eye on her through the window.

It was simple.

Maybe this way, she could actually think about it, talk about it or _something. _Just feel something about him.

Oliver turned around, ready to walk away when he heard her, "Frack!"

In an instant, he had pushed the door open, his eyes landing on Felicity who was clutching her hand tightly. Her eyes were glossy and red, her cheeks marred with tear tracks and he was sure that she had been crying over Conner. The broken photo frame of Conner's picture lay on the side table, pieces of glass surrounding it and he was pretty sure that Felicity had cut her hand while picking them up.

"Are you insane?" He muttered to her and Felicity glared at him before trying to pull her hand away from him, "I'm fine." She told him or well, tried to but Oliver apparently didn't hear anything for his focus was on the huge on her index finger, "I'm fine, Oliver." She tried again but he didn't look at her. Instead, he took his handkerchief out and wiped the blood that was falling off her finger.

It was a deep cut.

"Who the hell told you to clean it up?" His eyes met hers, "I wanted to clean it up, what's the big deal?"

"Big deal? Look at what you've done?!" He gestured towards his hand and Felicity rolled her eyes, "It's just a cut, Oliver." He ignored her, wiping the blood that was on her finger when Felicity hissed, "Sorry." He mumbled and his ex-wife's voice suddenly became soft, "It's okay, Oliver."

Oliver lifted his head up and blue met blue. Felicity's voice was a mere whisper this time, "It's okay." And Felicity realize how close they were. She didn't know why she was talking so softly with him when he deserve it but she was and it did manage to calm him down. Her eyes shifted towards their joined hands, his left hand holding her right one. His grip wasn't strong instead

The former hastily shook his head, "This could lead to an infection." He declared, "Let me get the first aid-" He turned his attention towards the door only to find it close, "Oh no."

"What?" Felicity was bewildered.

"Oh no," Oliver muttered again, making a beeline towards the door. He tried to open it, twisting the knob again and again but nothing happen.

"Why isn't it opening?" Felicity asked, her eyes wide and Oliver was suddenly aware of the fact that she was standing right beside him, "Why isn't it opening?"

"I don't know!" Oliver groaned before he slammed his shoulder against the door, "This is not happening!"

"Oliver!" Felicity shouted in her loud voice and Oliver turned his attention towards her, "What is going on?"

"We're locked, Felicity." He told her, "We're fucking locked in here."

"Let me try." Felicity stood in front of the door before she began to twist the knob with her left hand. She let out a huff when it didn't open. Choosing to use her both hands this time, she placed them on the knob only to pull away when the index finger of her right hand throbbed with pain. "Careful," Oliver told her and she stared at him before resuming her efforts to open the door.

Using both of her hands, she twisted and turned the knob, ignoring the pain in her finger. "Stop it!" Oliver placed his hand on her wrist and Felicity glared at him, "I can't be stuck in here. Especially with you."

"I get it but doing what you're doing is not helping now, is it?"

Felicity shrugged him off, "Let me try!" She said, her voice loud before she started using her right hand to open the door. She twisted and turned the knob up until it broke.

The knob it came out.

"Now that is very helpful." Oliver said sarcastically and in anger, Felicity threw the knob on the floor, "Most influential family in Starling, can't even afford proper knobs!" She shrieked at the top of her voice. "I can't be stuck with you here! Here out of all places! And you!" She pointed towards him, "Out of all people!"

She expected Oliver to say something but when he didn't, she frowned. Instead he smiled a little, "You done?"

Felicity blinked.

Oliver reached forward to grasp her right hand, "Now can we fix this?" Felicity frowned but didn't say anything. She watched as Oliver cleaned what now was dry blood before wrapping the said handkerchief around her finger, "Better now?"

Felicity narrowed her eyes at him. Ignoring the fact that her hand was in his, she asked him, "You're awfully calm about it. You knew about this, didn't you?"

Oliver blinked, "Of course not."

Lying to her has always been futile to Felicity so he didn't even know why he tried.

"You knew about this!"

"I didn't know this was going to happen, trust me!" Oliver explained himself and Felicity scoffed, "Right, trust you." She rolled her eyes, "Says the man who didn't trust me once."

Oliver closed his eyes for a second before opening them, "We're stuck here, Felicity."

"Do you have your phone with you?" She asked and Oliver was glad that he had left his phone in his room because lying to Felicity could be really troublesome, "No."

Felicity almost growled, "Fuck."

Yeah, things were looking real good right now.

…

"Why are you not doing anything?!" Felicity looked at Oliver who was sitting on the settee that was in the room, "Felicity we are the CEOs," He started, "We're supposed to inaugurate the project. They'll come looking for us."

Felicity banged the door one last time in frustration before groaning, "I don't want to be here!"

"Why not?" Oliver asked her. To be honest, he didn't want to be here either.

This room was filled with memories. Just memories. A painful realization that these things won't be happening again. His eyes flickered towards the picture of Conner that Felicity had been holding before he entered the room. His son was smiling, showing his gum. He was lying on the floor and as far as Oliver remembered, this picture was snapped when he had just begun crawling.

He looked at the floor for a second, trying to gather some strength. The psychiatrist had been right. The only time he was actually willing to talk about Conner was with Felicity. Usually, this place was his haven. Every month he came here once-he wasn't sure if his family members knew about this.

And now here he was with Felicity.

To be honest, yes he was feeling a bit overwhelmed in here. But only a bit. On the other side, he was willing to talk about it. He was willing to come forward.

Because she needed it.

"Why not? It's you." She said his name in anger and Oliver closed his eyes, "It's this room. I don't want to be here, Oliver." She declared, "This is like the worst case scenario." She picked up her gown before making her way around what used to be Conner's crib, "Don't sit on the floor," Oliver told her and Felicity stopped, "Why not? I'm not sitting on that seat with you." She could have sat on the other end but pieces of glass were spread there.

"Felicity," Oliver started. "The reason why you don't want to be here is because it's Conner's room. The reason why you don't want to be here is because of me."

Felicity stopped in between her movement, pivoting her head towards Oliver, "If you know it than why are you asking about it?"

"Because I want to know one other thing. "

"Oliver, don't take this as any other opportunity to talk about our relationship. There is nothing to fix-"

"This is not about us. This is about Conner." It was the seriousness in his tone that got to Felicity. She frowned, although her heart did start to beat a little bit faster in her chest.

What about Conner?

"This is about the fact that despite everything you still let me hold the power to govern your life," He stood up and Felicity blinked. She watched him coming towards her and instinctively she took a step back, "Why is it that when I blamed you, you started blaming yourself. When we talked about the entire thing, you came back to square one. You hate me, don't you?"

Felicity's eyes burned with tears, "Yes." He was standing right in front of her.

And Oliver might not admit this, but it felt far worse than he thought it would, "Then why do you let me govern your life?"

"I-I-" Felicity took a deep breath, "I loved you then, Oliver. Whatever I did was to-was to fix us. I wanted to move on in my life with you. And then-" She sniffed, "Oliver, you-you were hurt because you thought I cheated on you with Ray," Oliver nodded his head. His gaze had softened as he stared at her, his hand fisting as he tried to control the urge to comfort her, "Now imagine that happening right in front of your eyes after I tell you that I hate you and you-you killed him."

Oliver felt his heart break in two.

All this while, he had been focused on this Conner thing. He knew he didn't deserve forgiveness but what about her? She had been suffering before and she was still suffering now.

He didn't deserve her.

He really didn't.

"These events…they leave a mark and I'm sorry that I let myself fall but-but I couldn't help it. I hated you but I believed your words."

"You didn't kill him, Felicity." Despite breaking down on the inside, Oliver was pretty damn firm about this.

It was about time, she stopped blaming herself for that.

"Yeah, out of people this is coming from you." She scoffed, turning her face away. "Hey," Oliver placed his finger underneath her chin and lifted it up, "You didn't do it." Felicity didn't say a word as she stared at him. He looked hesitant for a second but when she didn't push him away, he used his thumb to wipe the tear tracks on her cheeks, "You didn't kill him." He started whispering, "I was drunk and stupid. Conner died and it was because somethings are just meant to happen." He bit his lip, "So maybe it's time to just let it go. To stare at this room and not cry. To think of our son and remember him but not let it weaken us," A tear fell down his cheek, "It's time to let it go."

"It's funny you're saying that," She involuntarily leaned her head towards Oliver's hand, "When you yourself aren't able to let him go."

"I know," He whispered and Felicity was surprised that he readily admitted it, "But someday we have to get past it. Have to live our life and if you don't consider be good enough to be a part of it then don't let me govern it either. Don't falter." He told her.

"He'll always be around, Felicity. We can't ignore him. All we can do is make ourselves strong."

How?

How were they supposed to do that? A small part of Felicity supplied that the only way they could do this is if they do it together. But that wasn't possible.

Because there was no together for them.

All she had to do was make herself strong.

"Do you really think-"

A sharp knock on the door grabbed their attention. Felicity's eyes widened as she heard Tommy's yell from the other side, "Is someone in there?"

And Oliver instantly pulled away. "Yeah, I am stuck here with-"Felicity instantly placed a hand over his mouth, "Don't tell them I'm here too." She whispered, "The last thing we need is the reporters spreading rumours again." It took a second for him to actually realize what was happening. Felicity was really close to him. Her hand was on her mouth, her face right in front of hers. She smelled of strawberries. Because, of course she did. It would literally take him a second to wrap his arms around her and hug her.

He wanted to hug her.

But he didn't.

"I'm opening the door, Oliver." Tommy announced from the other end and he could hear people shuffling at the other end. Felicity looked around, searching for a place to hide. She immediately hid beside the closet that was filled with Conner's toys. She was squeezed between the wall and the closet but she was still very much in view. She groaned, "Now-"

The door opened the next second and Oliver immediately came to stand in front of Felicity who breathed a sigh of relief. His right hand was behind his back facing Felicity, his fingers moving-he was nervous.

Of course he was.

And before Felicity could help herself, she reached forward to grab his hand with her left one effectively stopping his movement.

"There you are, we have been looking for you since forever!" Tommy started and she heard Oliver reply back, "Yeah, the door, it was stuck."

"Well, come on then!" She heard Tommy say, "Felicity has vanished too. We have to look for her as well and is that…glass?" Oliver nodded his head and she felt his fingers squeeze her hand once before he let them go." Walking out of the door, he made sure the close the door of the room lightly.

She sighed the minute she was left alone, crouching down as she hugged her legs.

_He'll always be around, Felicity. We can't ignore him. All we can do is make ourselves strong._

_If you don't consider be good enough to be a part of it then don't let me govern it either._

Did she care for him?

Did she think he was good enough?

Did she hate him?

Felicity had started to question things that she had believing for so long.

Why did she let him govern her life when she hated him?

Her fingers moved- a parody of Oliver's habit, why is it that she wanted to hold his hand again?

That despite everything she still wanted him to be there?

Felicity groaned as she let her head fall against the fall. A set of twin tears rolled down her cheeks.

She didn't know what to do with her life.

She really didn't.

…

Felicity walked down the stairs that led her to the main hall. She wanted to be as quiet as possible knowing that people must have been searching for her but it was Thea who noticed her first, "There she is!" She breathed a sigh of relief.

All the heads whipped in her direction and Felicity suddenly felt a little conscious in her blue gown. Still managing to keep her head held high, she completed the rest of her trail towards the corner of the hall where Oliver and the others were gathered.

She saw Oliver smile a little and it caused her to think about the exchange they had moments ago. Her eyes drifted towards her hands and she was glad she had taken off the handkerchief that she had been wearing moments ago. It was too big.

She bit her lip as she stared at the people gathered around, her mind elsewhere. It was when her name was called that she was snapped out of her reverie, "Felicity?" She looked at Walter who was smiling at her, "Would you like to do the honours?" It was then she realized that there was a board behind him that had the name of the project written on it. A red ribbon covered it. A second later, Felicity was handed the scissors and she looked at Oliver who wasn't looking at her.

Wait, wasn't he cutting the ribbon too?

Walking towards the board, she placed the scissor on the ribbon when she felt Oliver's hand covering hers. She looked towards her right, right at him and he gave her a small smile before giving her hand a gentle squeeze, careful not to hurt it. "Together?" He asked her in a soft voice.

_But someday we have to get past it._

_He'll always be around, Felicity. We can't ignore him. All we can do is make ourselves strong._

_Because there was no together for them_.

And her voice might have been small.

And she might have hesitated.

But it didn't stop Oliver from smiling when she replied back, "Together."

**Like it? **

**Love it?**

**Hate it?**

**PM or review me your thoughts. **

**Now, stray thought time-**

**Can we just say Oliver and Felicity are perfect together? Man the head kiss scene-I have seen that scene more than a hundred times I suppose.**

**Sigh. **

**I don't have a life, right?**

**Who do you think the grave belonged to?**

**Personally I think Lance or Baby Mama…but I have a strong feeling it's Lance but I love Paul Blackthorne so **

**And it's not our OTA *crosses finger***

**I'll friggin murder the Arrow writers.**

…

**Thanks for reading x**

**Do Review and if you have other thoughts to convey to me, you're always welcome. Next chapter I'll be addressing everybody and replying to stuff x**

**Thank you so much for everything **

**Srishti x**


	22. Author's Note 2

Author's Note - Hiatus

Okay, so how are you guys? I really hope you guys have been having an amazing day so far. Okay, this particular Author's note is for the people out there who have been constantly supporting me throughout and have been following this fanfic.

This fanfic has been a success because of your and my efforts. It is team work at its best.

Now, I've written this particular Author's Note because I wanted to tell you guys something.

My exams, well the main one are in March followed by a couple of entrance exams for colleges which would mean that I would have to devote most of time to prepare for it. It's my career deciding time, my college depends on it and I have to devote my time to studying. I'll occasionally be on twitter (And FYI, writing a story is _completely_ different from spending some time on twitter)-if anyone wants to ask something.

And I don't believe it is fair to you guys if I write a chapter hastily and don't do justice to this story. It'll be hard to garner enough time to update timely and it won't be fair to you guys who would be waiting for this fic to get updated.

I want to enjoy writing and make it enjoyable for you too.

I'm sorry guys. But this story is on a temporary hiatus up until **June 2016**. I hope you guys understand.

Now, as for a couple of things-

Yes, the scene from the prologue will happen.

This story would probably have 35-40 chapters. Although this figure could vary.

Yes, I will complete this story.

If you have any questions, you can ask me on twitter. I might not be able to answer it instantly though.

Now, I'll be back in June. Thank you for understanding so much.

So, that's it. I really hope you guys understand x

Thank you for sticking around and making this all worth it. I hope to see you all in June and thank you so much for all the love and support.

**Love you all so so much x**

Sinceriously :D

See ya on the flip side!

Srishti x


	23. Chapter Twenty : Never Alone

**Hey, how long has it been guys?**

**I'm so glad to be back. **

**My exams are over, my school is over. I scored 94% in my final exams and now, College is coming. Admissions still haven't opened yet but there. **

**Thank you so much for understanding and sticking to this fanfic. A great fanfic is a product of an author and the readers, thank you for doing your part.**

**Now important, a really nice person on twitter (Dani) has advised me to post this on AO3 too. Unfortunately I've always felt that the site was too complicated but apparently it is not. **

**So I will cross post there but it will be behind for reasons until it catches up to this! So, when I do please follow that too!**

**This chapter has not been betaed. So either you can ignore the faults or point them out politely. Thank you!**

**So, what are we waiting for?**

**Word Count : 11673**

**Disclaimer : I don't own anything that seems familiar.**

"_**Love never leaves.**_

_**People do."**_

**Chapter Twenty : Never Alone**

"No. No way."

Felicity closed her eyes. God, she wanted to scream out loud. Her day had already been on the list of her worst days ever-and she has had a _lot _of worse days. First, she woke up with her head pounding, eyes all swollen as she had realized that _tomorrow _was her son's death anniversary.

_Tomorrow._

To make matters worse, she didn't even get to make a run to Starbucks to get a latte because she was late for work-she didn't even want to come to work today. She didn't need to see Oliver or have any work load on her.

She had been thinking about what he had said to her that day. His words ricocheted in her head.

_He'll always be around, Felicity. We can't ignore him. All we can do is make ourselves strong._

He was right. She knew that but the truth was, she had lost hope. She had tried this twice-two times had she tried to move on from him but it clearly didn't work. And she was content this way, maybe because remembering him might cause her pain but at least she remembers him.

Letting go of him-what if she forgets about him? Forgets about the fact that he didn't get to live a life? The fact that he was only _one _when he died.

She had already lost Oliver. There was no part of him to hold on to. So what if Oliver was right? So what if it would be less painful if she really does let him go?

The truth is that she won't be able to.

Conner was her only _link. _She didn't have anyone but her Conner. And she wasn't going to let go of him. Because if she did, she would forget about him. She had left her past life behind her, letting go of Conner would make her forget about him as letting go of him would mean forgetting him because then they will be _nothing _to hold on too.

And she was strong. Strong enough to go through all of this together. Strong enough to lead a life without Oliver-a life which Conner would always be a part of.

So, yes Oliver had been right about Conner and also the part-that he shouldn't govern her life (A thing she realized and would definitely work on) but she also knew that Conner would _always _be around. There was no letting go-letting go would mean forgetting and she wasn't ready for that.

See? How much stressed she had been for the past few days and then Walter announces out of nowhere that Isabel Rochev wants to meet them.

Isabel Rochev.

She despised that woman. She hated her judgey eyes, her cocky attitude and worst of all? The way she looked at Oliver. It was like she was looking at a piece of meat and she knew that Oliver was handsome but she looked at him like she wanted to sex him up and it's not like she had feelings for him or anything but she was an evil woman-

"Felicity?"

"Hmm?" She pursued her bottom lip as she looked at him, "I said Miss Rochev would see you both in the conference room."

Felicity resisted the urge to roll her eyes as she turned around. Exiting his cabin, she muttered under her breath, "Miss Rochev would see you in the conference room. Don't worry Felicity, I will handle Miss Rochev." She imitated him, trying to sound as much British as possible. "Handle my ass." She continued pushing the button for the elevator. She heard a laugh, her head pivoting towards the right. Oliver huffed a laugh, his right eyebrow rising ever so slightly and Felicity narrowed her eyes at him, "Do you think this is funny?"

Oliver stopped all of a sudden, his lips pressed in a thin line, "No. Of course not." Felicity's glare didn't falter as she stepped in the elevator, "Yes, you do."

"No, I don't."

"I can see your smug little face, Oliver Queen. You are laughing on the inside." Oliver bit his lip, trying not to smile, "I-I am not."

"Uhuh! You hesitated!"

"It happens, Felicity." Oliver reasoned, stepping out of the elevator.

"No, I know you, Oliver. You are happy at the fact that we will have to see Isabel, right? Because of course you are." She pushed the door to the conference room, "Why won't you want to talk to that leggy model? I mean it's not like she is an A grade bitch or the fact that she thinks she is superior to well, _everybody-" _She turned around the last minute, a small gasp escaping her lips when she realized how close she was to Oliver. "Whoa," She mumbled under her breath, her eyes skidding over his lips for a split second before she looked up, "What did I say about close to close thing?" Her voice wavered a little and immediately Oliver took a step back.

Maybe he was listening to her after all.

His gaze flickered towards the floor before he finally looked back at her, "How are you holding up?" He asked, his voice soft. Felicity frowned for a second, "Holdi-oh. _Oh."_ It took a second for her to realize what he was talking about.

_Tomorrow. Yeah._

"I-" Felicity hesitated for a second, "I'm okay." She said, "I think." She murmured. She wanted to be strong in front of him. She didn't need his pep talk every now and then. Each time she told herself that she won't talk to him-won't let him _get _to her but she just couldn't help it. Whenever he spoke, she found herself responding back. Because despite everything, he was the only who got her, didn't he?

"And how are you holding up?" She found herself asking him. She wasn't stupid. She knew that he had his own troubles regarding Conner's death. And every now and then she found herself thinking about that too.

His mouth opened as if he wanted to say something, but then he promptly closed it, no words escaping his mouth. Felicity shrugged a little. She knew he wasn't. Hell, they both weren't. Sometimes, she wished she could look past everything. To just give in. She almost had a lot of times before.

But she can't.

They can't.

She looked at him, he lips tilted up from one end. His stare was intense and she could see multiple emotions swirling through it. Guilt, understanding and love-she must be fooling herself to believe the last one. She knew he was trying to mend things but it wasn't enough.

"I'm okay."

And even if he wasn't really, Felicity allowed herself to smile a little. It was an involuntary reaction. Sometimes, she'd wonder why she still cared. Maybe it was the fact that she blamed herself too. That she was the reason why Conner was never in this life in the first place.

Yeah, it was guilt.

It was definitely guilt.

_That _is why she still cared.

Telling herself that it was because she was guilty was way better than the alternative.

She stared at Oliver whose gaze hadn't faltered one bit. She bit her lip, her hands tucking themselves in the pockets of her brown jeans. He was looking at her the way he looked at her when they were-

She immediately turned her head away.

Like she said.

Feeling guilty was way better than the alternative.

Because the alternative was too damn dangerous.

…

The two of them were sitting at the opposite ends of the conference table when Isabel entered the room. Felicity had been twitching in her seat repeatedly, wanting to leave the room to go and fetch herself a cup of coffee because clearly, Gerry had forgotten about it-not that she was angry about it or anything.

She just _really _wanted a cup of coffee.

Heck, this situations demanded the _special tea._ That is how extreme this situation was.It wasn't just about surviving the day, it was about surviving the day without ripping her own or someone else's hair out. She blamed Oliver for it, he made her taste that heavenly liquid again.

Why?

Sighing to herself, she pushed the chair away finally taking measures in her own hands. _Screw Isabel Rochev, _she thought to herself. But speak of the _devil. _

Isabel walked into the conference, her eyes flickering towards Oliver at first-_because of course it will, _before she looked at her. In an instant, her eyes narrowed, her lips curling up to form a malicious smile. "Miss Smoak," She addressed her, "Seems like you have some other important business to attend to." She said and Felicity blinked, her lips pouting, "Oh, I wa-"

"Whatever, I don't have time for this." She shot Felicity a nasty glare, well it was her natural one anyway. "You people made an acquisition with Ted Kord." She stated, "Despite knowing that I had been wanting to do the same. Choosing Kord Enterprises over Stelmoor International," She shook her head in disgust, "That was a really poor decision on your part." She still managed to maintain her poise, "A decision that your company might live to regret, Mr. Queen."

Oh, Felicity was _so _done with this _bitch._

"We made the deal thinking about what is right for the company, Ms. Rochev. We don't need your expertise regarding it."

"You knew I have been interested in investing in this company. I am thinking about this compa-"

"Oh, bullshit." Oliver snapped, suddenly getting up from his seat. "The reason why you wanted this company is you wanted to take it over. Don't think that I didn't notice how much your interest spiked in the company that was once your rival, once my father died."

Isabel huffed, "Well that was the plan." She didn't deny it, "It would have been better that way considering how the company is under your leadership. No wonder he didn't make you the CEO alone, Mr. Queen. "

Felicity frowned momentarily as she saw Oliver flinch. She knew that the fact that he wasn't chosen as the _lone CEO _pinched Oliver. She gritted her teeth, "Is that the reason why this company is flourishing, Ms. Rochev? For someone who is so interested in this company, maybe you didn't get the memo. Stelmoor needs QC, not the other way round."

Isabel had a snide smirk on her face, "We both know how this company flourishes, Ms. Smoak. Now I get the reason why Robert wanted you in here. You really are the one doing all the work," Her eyes met Oliver's, "Ain't I right, Mr. Queen?"

Felicity blanched. She didn't expect Isabel to respond this way. Suddenly, she found herself in the same position that she was in years ago. When she left Oliver. How the media had called her words and how _Oliver didn't defend her._ How people believed it was true.It was like that back again, when she had to establish herself over again in Central City. Standing up for herself, alone.

She did that once.

She can do that again.

Her fists curled together, "Listen, you-"

"She was chosen as the CEO of this company because she was capable enough to handle it. She has reached here because of her calibre, Ms. Rochev. She graduated from MIT at the age of nineteen and was also the VP of Palmer Tech. She is twice the woman that you could ever be." He spat, "There is a reason why you're _begging _to be a part of our company, Ms. Rochev. _She _made it that way."

Isabel opened her mouth to retort back when Oliver shut her up again, "The door's right there. I suggest you walk out of here or I won't hesitate to call the security."

"Ted Kord is a shrewd business man, Mr. Queen."

"Still better than you. Now, get the hell out of here!" Felicity's eyes widened when she saw Isabel leave but not before she cast her an unpleasant look. Not that Felicity cared, her eyes flickered towards Oliver, his words ricocheting in her mind.

Her fists uncurled as the realization dawned. All this while, she had stood for herself, alone. And he was taking a stand for _her. _Three years-he was taking a stand for her and it was _surreal. _"I..I-"She stuttered for a reply, "Thank you." She whispered.

"You don't have to thank me," Oliver replied and Felicity could see that he was rubbing his fingers together, "I'm sorry for everything. I am the reason why these things are happening to you."

And he was. When they broke up and Felicity left, the media had turned frenzy. Spewing out stuff that wasn't true. And Oliver never cleared those rumours away. He himself had accused her of that. A small part did expect him to come forward and clear the air. But it shattered when nothing happened, even when she didn't take anything from him. It made her ask whether he-

"Oliver?" Her voice was small as he looked at her expectantly, "Did you..did you ever believe that I-"

"Never." He said with such confidence, "I should have done this a long time ago, Felicity. I am sorry it took me this long."

Felicity was caught off guard. Her mouth parted open, words dying in her throat. Oliver shrugged a little, a small smile encasing his face. His eyes flickered towards the door, "I should probably," He stuttered for a second and Felicity was sure, he was caught off guard too, "Tell them to not allow Isabel..." His voice trailed off, "In here." He pointed at the room.

"Yeah," A mumbled escaped her lips.

_Never._

_She is twice the woman you ever be._

"Felicity!" She looked up, realizing that Gerry had entered the room, Oliver long gone. "I'm sorry. The traffic was a bitch and-" He shoved the cup of coffee in her hand, "I know how much you hate this! I'm so sorry."

She looked at the cup before smiling a little, "It's okay, Gerry."

"You sure?"

"Yeah," She nodded.

As soon as Gerry left her, something dawned on her. Her lips curled up automatically, a small huff escaping her lips, as if she couldn't believe it. She shook her head lightly, her eyes trailing towards the spot that Oliver was standing at moments ago. The smile still there.

_Never_

Maybe this day wasn't that bad after all.

…

**April 2010**

"_I always knew this was going to be a bad day," Felicity groaned, lying on the bed. Robert chuckled at this, "I was sure this was going to happen at the breakfast table today."_

_Moira and Oliver were arguing._

_Because of course they were._

_She had been pretty adamant of wanting him to follow his father's footsteps and become the next CEO to Queen Consolidated. _

_But Oliver didn't want that. _

_And Felicity didn't blame him. _

_While she still believed that he had the capability of becoming a great CEO, his business acumen was clearly visible the way he handled Verdant. And if he didn't want to be a CEO at the moment, she won't force him. He loved Verdant, loved his job and was happy. That was all she needed._

_And she was so proud of him for pursuing what he loved._

_Felicity picked out one of the chips kept in the bowl before dipping into the dip and stuffing it in her mouth, "We're awful for enjoying this."_

"_We are enjoying the movie," Robert gestured towards the television, "And no. You know sooner or later this will end, Felicity. Like always."_

_Felicity bit her lip, tempted to ask him a question. "Why not you?"_

"_Huh?"_

"_Why don't you ask him to be the CEO?" She leaned towards the right, closer to him trying to gauge his reaction, "Don't you trust him?"_

_Robert laughed and Felicity felt like he expected her to pop up that question. "I do, Felicity."_

"_Then why?"_

"_Because I wanted him to be the CEO because I wanted him to grow up," He paused dramatically, "And he has. Just not in that way but he has and that is all I need."_

"_So you're happy?"_

"_I am. He is has grown up so much, Felicity. He became a man. And whenever that man," Robert clarified, "Becomes the CEO, I know he will make me proud then you and you know why?"_

_Felicity's eyebrows rose, "Why?"_

"_Because he has you." He answered with a warm smile, "I don't only love you because you are like my daughter. I also love you because you have loved my son the way he was. You never questioned-you made him the man he is today, Felicity. And for that I don't know how to thank you."_

"_It was him," She retorted, "Dad, this all was him. I didn't do a thing." And Robert just shot her a knowing smile._

"_You think he will do it?" Felicity asked again after a pregnant pause, "Become the CEO?"_

"_Yes," Robert answered genuinely and Felicity wasn't surprised, "I think he will but when he does, I just hope that you're by his side." He told her._

"_He would make you proud," Felicity grinned widely, "With or without me," She clarified, "He definitely would."_

"_I am still proud of him," Robert told her, "And he has grown on his own so much that he can do this without you but I don't want him too."_

"_Why?"_

"_You're his light, Felicity. With you he always shines brighter."_

_Felicity pouted instantly, "You're making me emotional." She pretended to sniff and Robert laughed._

_Their attention focused on the movie, trying to ignore the sounds in the background._

"_How long do you think they will go on for?"_

"_I say twenty."_

"_Thirty."_

"_Winner gets the bowl of chips, dad?"_

"_Done."_

…

"That one," Felicity smiled at her iPad, Iris and Caitlin talking to her on the other end. "See? I told you she would like this one!" Iris gushed the minute Felicity pointed at the bouquet that displayed red and white roses. "They would look beautiful with the white wedding dress," Caitlin nodded her head in agreement as she shut the book.

"So, what brought this on?" Felicity asked the two knowingly.

"My wedding is going to happen soon, okay?" Iris responded, "I just wanted a little advice from one of my bridesmaids,"

Felicity hummed knowingly. She was well aware as to why they chose this day to approach her and she was grateful for that. "Where is Courtney?"

"Court case," Caitlin answered, sitting a little bit more comfortably. "Iris?" Felicity's eyebrows rose.

"I skipped. My wedding is about to happen okay?"

"Did you guys finalize the date?"

"Yeah," Iris moved her hands, "No," She shook her head, "Soon though. We are waiting for you to come back."

"..How are you holding up?" Caitlin asked her the question that Felicity was sure that they had wanted to ask since the beginning.

Felicity was silent for a moment, not sure what to say.

Was she sad? Of course she was. Tomorrow was the death anniversary of her son. The fact that this he was dead was still hard to digest years later.

Did she feel better? Post her conversation with Oliver, she felt a little better, she won't lie. Plus, their conversation also made her feel slightly better about her conversation with Oliver a few days prior, regarding Conner.

Things were changing, weren't they?

So should she.

"I'm okay," She mumbled softly, her hand reached towards the photo frame that was lying on her table, "Or at least I will be."

"You seem to be dealing with it better than I expected,"

"Yeah," Her voice was soft again, "I don't know how," She mumbled, laughing a little, "Call me tomorrow and then you see." She tried to joke about it.

"Hey, there is nothing wrong with moving on, okay?" Caitlin told her, "Nothing wrong with that."

Felicity smiled a little. "Yeah." She sighed a little, "I miss you guys."

Iris pouted, "Aww…we miss you too."

"So, about the bridesmaid and maid of honour dresses,"

"I still think pink is a good colour."

"Yeah, no pink. Very loud."

"It is a good colour."

"I'm the bride-"

Felicity laughed, this day definitely wasn't as bad as she had anticipated.

…

Felicity walked out of the door of QC, jiggling her head at the guard for a split second as a sign of acknowledgement, her footsteps leading her towards her car. She shoved her hand inside her purse, skimming through her stuff trying to locate her car keys when,

"Felicity?!"

She paused, her feet halting. She knew that voice. Whipping her head around, she was found herself face to face with Oliver who looked like he had been chasing someone for a while. Maybe he had been doing that with her.

Her eyebrows furrowed.

"I'm sorry for this." He spoke and Felicity didn't say a word, her eyebrows just rose in question, "I-"He hesitated and her curiosity increased, "Oliver?"

"I was wondering if you would want to...want to stop by at the mansion tomorrow? We have this thing-all of us get together tomorrow so that we can-"His words died in his throat but Felicity knew what he meant.

_Grieve together._

"You-"She bit her bottom lip for second, her look full of disbelief, "You want me there?"

His eyes softened and Felicity would have mistaken it for pity had it been someone else. It was full of understanding, because of course he did. "You shouldn't be alone tomorrow. No one should."

Felicity contemplated it for a second.

_She actually contemplated._

Did she want to spend time with them or want to wallow in her grief alone? She was well aware that if she went there, people would approach. People like Thea, Tommy, _Laurel-_

Did she need them?

Maybe.

Back in Central City, she remembered when all of them came to her house every March of 16th. It wasn't like she called them, but they did and Felicity was so grateful for them. The day usually started with something fun (trying to ignore the fact that he was indeed gone – and well for most of the past, Felicity's face too because let's face it, her eyes usually were puffy for crying the night before) but then it turned into something comforting. Throughout her stay at Central City, Felicity had only acknowledged Conner's death on _two _days.

His birthday and his death anniversary. When the reality seems too hard to ignore. Rest of the time, she usually dodged the sympathetic looks of her friends because she wasn't ready to face it.

But here she was.

Suddenly, a new found strength entered her.

Did she need Oliver to move on from Conner?

No, she didn't.

She would do this on her own. Anyone but him. He was right-he didn't govern her or her grief. So no, she wasn't going to rely on them too.

"No," She answered and she saw Oliver's face fall, "I mean, I don't need to. I'll-"Her eyes suddenly looked down which Oliver was sure was a clear sign of hesitation but she continued, "I'll be okay. On my own."

Oliver resisted the urge to sigh but understood, nevertheless. He just wanted her to be happy and if that made her so, then so be it. "Sure. As you wish."

For a second, there was silence between the two of them. "I would however visit him," Oliver frowned at that and Felicity shook her head, "I mean his grave. Since you he.."Her nose scrunched up in realization as she realized what she was babbling out, "I mean-I'm telling you this, not asking you because I will show up and I have right to too!" She nodded repeatedly, "So I will, yeah. Not the lunch but that I will because I need to and you can't stop me-"

It took her exactly three seconds to realize what was happening. He moved a little closer to her, his hand landing on her shoulder, "Felicity." He uttered out and suddenly, she stopped talking.

She always had told him that he said her name so differently than the others. And beyond that he never did really need to say anything. Sometimes he uttered it softly, sometimes full of exasperation, sometimes full of understanding and sometimes it was plain _love. _

She blinked and the nodded her head as if understanding what he meant.

Her eyes met his and she could see a small smile on his face too, maybe it was because she stopped talking.

When was the last time this thing had happened between the two of them?

_Why _was it happening between the two of them?

Reality kicked in the next second, her eyes shifting towards the ground and the suddenly the hand on her shoulder was gone taking the moment with it. She looked up once, casting Oliver one more glance before he turned around and left.

Sighing to herself, she turned around, moving towards her car.

She gotta deal with this one on her own.

…

**May 2010**

_Felicity blinked once._

_Twice._

_Thrice._

_Nope, the result did not change._

_The pink lines that appeared on the four of five pregnancy tests she took told her that she was pregnant._

_Pregnant._

_As in having a baby._

_She immediately started pacing rapidly, "Oh God, oh God, oh God-"She stopped midway and then looked at the tests again before mumbling again, "Oh God, oh God, oh God,"_

_A baby._

_They haven't even talked about getting pregnant and here she was pregnant._

_Will Oliver want it?_

_The thought that proceeded after that caused her stomach to drop and she found herself sitting on the toilet seat._

_She trusted Oliver. She knew that he would love this baby because she would. She placed her hand on the top of her stomach as if this simple touch could make her feel baby._

_Realize it was real._

_Right?_

_She knew it in her bones that Oliver would be a great dad. He would love their kid immensely. _

_But so did her dad._

_And it didn't take him long enough to leave her behind._

_Her lips wobbled, her mind full of crazy thoughts. _

_How was Oliver going to deal with this?_

…

He never really knew how to deal with this.

_Him _being gone, both of them being gone.

When Conner died, he accepted it readily because he had to. For Felicity. He had watched his wife wither away completely. He remembered talking to her about it. The only time he talked about Conner was with her. When he had left Felicity for a little while, it was because he was frustrated.

Frustrated by the plain simple fact that she won't listen. That she won't realize he was gone and was willing to ruin her life for it. The simple fact that she didn't realize that he lost him too. He knew she did. He remembered her mumbled apologies regarding it, but it didn't help. It still hurt.

Because she wasn't willing to try.

That was when he confided to his mother about it. Mourned for the death of his son along with his sister. The first time he opened up. He knew leaving was wrong but he just needed space. He also knew that was willing to try but he chose to ignore it.

Now he wonders what would have happened had he picked up any one of the calls she actually made to him.

Would they be in this mess?

When Felicity betrayed him, or at least he thought she didn't. He didn't sleep for _days. _The thought of Felicity and Ray together had made him want to throw everything away. He used to wonder a lot about the fact that what was wrong with him that she had left him?

All he ever wanted for her was to move on. To be happy.

Was he wrong in walking away?

That was the day he had decided that he wouldn't talk about it to anyone, so he didn't. The conversations regarding Conner were usually avoided. He would rather find himself alone thinking about it. He couldn't let others see him break down. He didn't want. He had to be strong for them.

And so he never did. And like every month, he found himself alone in his nursery.

He liked to be here. The silence somehow was peaceful. A moment where he can contemplate, think of the past, envision what the future could have been. It was funny how one small moment of silence could make you feel.

At first it didn't used to be this hard.

But now it was. The guilt that he had been the one to ruin everything clawed inside of him. That the reason why Felicity wasn't here and the two of them aren't fighting this together hurt.

All because of him.

He sighed, allowing his eyes to skim across the room. The room was full of brightness, something that both Conner and Felicity loved.

But now it wasn't.

They were the ones who made this room bright. Their laughter echoing across the room, Conner's babbles.

And now?

_Nothing._

"Hey," His head pivoted towards the sound only to find his mother standing at the doorstep, her voice soft, "You okay?"

He nodded his head instantly, "I just need a moment or two alone," Even though he knew that he would probably spend the night here.

Moira smiled, "If you need anything, I'm in my room, okay?"

Oliver smiled wryly.

His mom left him and he was back to feeling the way he was before, the momentary distraction long gone.

_Lonely. _

…

Felicity had literally never been alone on this day. Being alone meant thoughts entering her mind, thoughts that made her emotional. Not that it didn't happen usually but being alone means having no distractions and her mind just focuses on one thing.

Conner.

Oliver.

All three of them together.

She wasn't complaining though. Sooner or later, this would have happened and she was the one who was choosing Oliver not to define her. That finally, _finally _she was taking this decision.

It's not like she had an option though. She was alone in this city. It was funny indeed that this was the same city where she had spent most of her life. The same city that once was her _home, _the first place to ever make her feel that way and suddenly now, even when she is standing amongst a crowd, she feels alone.

And she is. It is her memories that come into play. Memories of her son, of the family she once had here and even if it hurts her on the inside, she has come to realize that it is inevitable and she will have to face this no matter what.

She hugged the stuff toy closer to her chest before placing it right underneath her head. Her eyes quickly felt shut, a lone tear escaping the left one.

Now that she was alone, the guilt was greater than ever. This feeling clawing on the inside of her, reminding her again and again that she was the one who took away the life of her one year old.

She cried because he died.

She cried because she didn't die.

Because they didn't last.

And as she sat there alone, a realization did hit her.

That no matter what this is how it is going to be. Her being alone. This is how it should have been and now, she would only have to get stronger and face it. Because there was no one else.

She was going to see Conner tomorrow because she was strong. She is going to miss him because she was weak. But she was fighting it no matter what.

Because she had to.

Because he wasn't coming back.

Because she was still alive.

And because she had no one else.

And maybe not now, but somehow she will be okay with it.

She has to be.

…

The silence in the mansion was deafening.

Oliver sat on the table for breakfast, his eyes flickering towards his mother who wasn't looking at him, but at the table. And Oliver was pretty sure that she was lost in her thoughts.

His dad usually was the one who handled her. Even Thea. When Oliver could not calm her down, it was his dad who used to step up and now he's…_gone _too.

He wonders how it was for his mom. How will she deal with his death anniversary?

His fists clenched. Why does this keep happening to them?

His mom didn't deserve this. Neither did his sister. Nor Felicity…no one did.

He tried to pass her a reassuring smile and he sure, Laurel who was sitting right beside him was doing the same.

This was how it usually began. Both days. His birthday or _today. _The stark realization of the fact that he is gone hits them, tears escaping their eyes. Envisioning a different future.

It was depressing.

It was natural.

But then the day continues and they allow themselves to get mixed up with people. To stand together even if it was to grieve someone. To just not be alone.

They try to make this day something which they can remember happily. Not be sad about.

The truth is, he can't.

He just doesn't say it.

"Thea," He heard Laurel whisper before he whipped his head only to find his sister standing on the threshold of their house, her eyes red and puffy.

"I-" Thea's voice was hoarse. In the next second, she shook her head, choosing to go upstairs rather than sitting on the breakfast table with her family.

"Thea!" Moira shouted. A second later, an exhausted huff escaped her lips as if she wasn't sure how to help her.

Oliver got up instantly, "I'll handle her."

"Thank you, sweetheart." Her son nodded before following his sister.

…

As Oliver stood in front of Thea's room, he could hear her sobbing at the other end. His heart clenched at the sound of it. If it was up to him, he would never let her sister go through anything like that. Anything that caused her pain.

"Hey," He said softly, the minute he opened the door. Thea looked at him and whispered one word, "How?"

Oliver's brows furrowed, his head shaking a little as his eyes narrowed, "What?"

"How do you do this?" Her eyes widening a little, her teeth gnashed together, "Pretend."

"Pretend what?" He sat on her bed and Thea scooted towards him, "That everything is okay."

"Everything will be okay."

"But it isn't!" Thea tried to make a point, her eyes moistening, "It isn't Ollie. Why don't you get it? Why, why-"She struggled for a second, "Do you let people in? How do you get to be my rock when it is you I should be holding?"

"Thea," Oliver started, "It doesn't matter. What matters is that we all need each other. _You _need me and I'm here, okay?" His tone was gentle, "We all here for each other as we should be."

"It's just that I know this affects you, Ollie." Thea told him, "You just don't choose it to share with us."

Oliver wrapped his left arm around her, "Come here."

Thea whimpered, "He's gone, Ollie. So is dad. It's just not fair, both of them. We lost both of them." She paused, allowing Oliver to speak, "But we have each other, right? We'll make it through."

"Felicity doesn't." She whispered and Oliver stiffened for a second, "It just makes me think whether we deserve this-we were so mean to her. Maybe this is God's way of making us pay back."

"Don't talk like that!"

"But it is, isn't it? God, I was so mean to her. And the worst part is I wanted to hurt her and I talked about him. God, how could I-"

"Hey!" Oliver stopped her, "Stop thinking like that! What has to happen has happened, Thea." He looked at her, "All can we do is be with one another and remember them happily. They wouldn't want this for you."

"For you too," Thea whispered, "You need let someone in, Ollie."

"_What? No one going to greet me today?"_

"Tommy's here," Oliver laughed and Thea closed her eyes, "He is going to come here, isn't he?"

"Oh yeah."

"Moron."

Oliver laughed, wiping the stray tears on her cheeks. Things weren't the best but at least they had each other, right?

…

Felicity found herself in the same place that she found herself in during these days. She was sat amidst Conner's stuff that she took out only during these days. Being surrounded by his toys, pictures might be painful but it made her feel closure to him somehow.

The house wasn't filled with pictures as it should be. She had a picture of Conner in her bedroom and one in the living room and once was in her office. That was it. She didn't really indulge in decorating her house with his pictures because it also served as a stark reminder that he was gone.

Pictures of Oliver and her also weren't in the house. Literally none. All wrapped up in a box because she was past that life. That would never happen again and she couldn't let herself hope. She deserved better and she was over it.

Or at least that is what she tries telling herself.

Her eyes were puffy, her cheeks wet but despite everything there was a small smile on her face. While the tears reflected sadness and grief, the smile on her face was because of recalling the memories that beautiful

The fact that these memories were the only thing left pained.

Her phone rang and she looked at the screen before wiping her cheeks and then picking it up, "Hey mom,"

She could hear her mom sniff on the other end, "How are you holding up, baby?"

How was she holding up?

Well, she wasn't doing a very good job at it to be honest. She was a crying mess and emotional mess - seriously though? Crying and laughing together. Her house was a mess and she missed Conner. But she was also fighting this alone, while the situation might not be good she was dealing with this on her own.

Because that is how it was supposed to be.

Maybe come in terms with reality.

"I'm okay, Mom." She told her, "How are you?"

They were okay.

Or at least they were going to be.

...

Felicity locked her house and then turned the knob once just to check. Satisfied when it didn't open, she put the keys in her purse. She was about to look for the keys of her car when her name was called out from the other end.

"Digg?"

John walked towards her and automatically the corner of Felicity's lips curled up, "What are you doing here?"

"I was nearby," He explained, "And I knew you would visit him today so I figured why not take you there myself?"

"Don't you-" She looked at her wrist watch realizing that it was almost two, "Have that lunch thing with the others?" She frowned.

"I do," John didn't lie, "But you are more important right now."

Felicity titled her head towards the side, "Thank you."

"You don't need to thank me for anything," He told her, "Ever."

Huh, she was wrong before. While her family might not be hers anymore, she certainly wasn't alone in this city.

...

Oliver groaned a little when Sara came running towards him with full force. Ignoring the momentary pain, he picked her up, a wide smile on his face, "Hey Sara."

"Uncle Ollie!" The toddler grinned and Oliver automatically felt better, "How are you?"

"I'm good but Mommy made me take a leave from school," She pouted.

"She did, huh?" He looked at Lyla who was making her way too them, shaking her head as if she had heard her daughter talk about this before, "You didn't want to?"

"No," She shook her head, "Now we have to make up for that now, how about some chocolates?" Oliver watched as Sara's eyes widened in joy, "Chocolates?" She immediately looked at her mother, "Mommy can we? Mommy please." She pouted her lips, eyes shining and Oliver had to stop himself from laughing.

"That thing works on daddy, Missy. Not on me," Lyla told her sternly and Sara sighed making Oliver laugh, "But you can have some today. Only two. Not one more."

Sara immediately moved forward and Oliver had to react almost instantly to balancing her, "Whoa,"

"Thank you mommy," She said cheerily dropping a kiss on her cheek.

"Where's John?" Oliver asked once Sara settled back into his arms.

"He is with Felicity," Lyla told him, "He'll be here soon."

"That's-" Oliver paused for a second, unsure about what to say, "Nice." He ended, "She needs someone too."

Lyla didn't say a word, just smiled in acknowledgement as if she got what Oliver was trying to say, "Yeah."

"Chocolates?" Sara mumbled breaking through the streak of thoughts going through Oliver's head.

"Yeah, let's get you some of that." Her uncle told her before they left, Sara's babbles never-ending.

...

Felicity held onto the flowers that she had bought along the way. She was glad that it was John who brought her here. On the way they had talked about a lot of things, one of them being how about Oliver was holding up. She didn't know that he had been going to a psychiatrist and while the thought of not knowing this did irk her, she was glad that there was someone he could talk too.

Holding the white and yellow flowers, she entered the Queen Mansion. Jewish didn't put flowers on theirs graves but she would because that was the only thing she _could _do about this.

Choosing to head straight for the Queen Gardens, her hold on the flowers tightened. Taking a deep breath, she approached it carefully.

Her son's grave.

Her eyes moistened the second she sat down, the pain hitting her like a brick.

"Hey baby," She whispered softly, placing the set of flowers along with the others wreaths that were placed there.

In her mind she imagined him turning his head, like he did when she called him. A grin appearing on his face almost instantly as he raised his arms for his mother to hold him.

"How are you?" A tear fell on the grave and she bit her lip. "I..I miss you." Her eyes flickered towards Robert's grave right beside him, "Grandpa must be taking care of you. I hope he is," She paused, almost whimpering, "I hope you both are together."

"I-"

She was silent for a second before getting a hold of herself. Despite the situation, she loved coming here. It made her feel close to her son.

So she continued talking

To her son.

Her son's _grave._

...

"Will she come inside?" Oliver shook his head as soon as Tommy put up the question, "She won't."

They watched Felicity talk to Conner's grave from inside the house. The glass window in the living room large enough to allow them to do so.

"How does she do that?" Oliver whispered and Tommy frowned, "Do what?"

"Talk to him." He retorted, "How could she? I mean he won't answer back...isn't that painful?"

"He is the only one she can talk to though," Tommy muttered, "Anyone here isn't worth of that right?"

Oliver sighed watching her talk to him. A second later, he watched her laugh although the tears were still there on a cheek. But yet the sight of her laughing was beautiful. It was a sign of hope that she was moving on for good. That she was comfortable. Yesterday he might not have said it, but her telling him that she wanted to visit him made him happy.

Back when they were married, he had tried. Tried so hard to make her come and see him. To make her realize that Conner was gone but she won't listen. She would stay quiet or try to indulge herself in other activities. Whenever Oliver used to try something she would burst out with anger and it just escalated from there.

Knowing that the same person was now slowly accepting things made his heart warm.

At least there was something he could fix.

…

Felicity had no plan of actually entering the Queen Mansion.

But somehow she had.

Because _of course _she had.

She was about to leave when she met Grammy on the doorstep who had sobbed at the sight of her, hugging her tightly before ushering her inside, saying how this was a day that she needed to spend with the others.

But with them?

It is not like Grammy didn't see through, but she reassured that she would be with her and she can also initiate a talk with others if she feels comfortable.

Well, the only person apart from John she feels comfortable with at the moment is Oliver.

And now _that _is saying something.

She stood at one end, choosing to stare outside rather than looking at others.

She felt a little awkward. Because of course she did. But there was also a certain something inside of her. Now that she was standing in front of them, it made her more determined to showcase that she is strong. That she doesn't need them.

Grammy was wrong on this one.

"Hey," Felicity whipped her head only to meet a certain someone's blue eyes. She didn't even remember the last time they had talked to each other, "Hey Sara."

The blonde grinned a little and Felicity smiled back. Some would say that Felicity should hold a grudge against her, but she didn't. She was never that close to Sara. They had always been 'friends' because Oliver was friends with her. But Felicity thinks they could have been. She had been the first one to catch her with her girlfriend. It was pretty random and Sara had been rattled about it but she had assured her that she won't say a word and she should come out to her parents.

And as she realized that the same lady had accompanied her here, she realized Sara had.

"So, you did it huh?"

Sara looked at her girlfriend before nodding, "Yeah." She put her hands in the back of her jeans pocket, "It was you, actually."

"Me?" She pointed at herself in disbelief.

"When you caught us," Sara bit her lip, "It got me thinking and-" She tilted her head a little, scratching her forehead a little with the index finger of her right hand, "When you left, Ollie was miserable. It just made me realize that I can't live without Nyssa," She concluded.

"Well," Felicity started, "At least our breaking up was good for someone," She tried to laugh it off, although it was a hollow one.

"I never believed it."

"What?"

"I never believed when they said you cheated," Sara clarified, "When you caught us, you were really supportive." She nodded, "You talked about love, remember? And how it doesn't matter who we are in love with it. It just...is."

Felicity nodded, unsure where this was going. "Well, I refused to believe that the person like that could cheat on the person they love the most."

"I-"Felicity was speechless for a second. The irony that someone who merely knew her could judge her by a few words when someone who knew her for most of her life couldn't, "Thank you." She blinked, "Really very much." The topic hit too close to home so she deviated the conversation, "However, today is about Conner so let's just keep it behind us, okay?"

She couldn't believe she was saying that.

"Won't be introduce me to her?"

"Sure!"

Felicity huffed out as soon as Sara escaped her sight, "Need wine." She mumbled to herself and as if God heard her, she spotted a waiter heading for her. Picking up the glass that was filled with wine, she took a sip.

Yeah, she needed alcohol to get through this.

Is she going to survive today?

A second later, she spotted Laurel heading inside the living room with her perfect smile and gorgeous hair, "Yeah nope." She mumbled to herself, turning her back almost instantly.

Well, this was going well.

…

"She's taking this well, isn't she?" Oliver muttered to Thea who bit her lip, "Felicity?"

Thea watched her standing in the corner with her grandma who had joined her moments ago, "Yeah." She mumbled, although the redness on her face was still obvious there was a soft smile on Felicity's face, "She should."

"Good," Oliver nodded and Thea who had been watching her brother since the morning noticed that he had been looking at her ever since she came here. "You okay, Ollie?"

"I am." He answered, his gaze never leaving Felicity who let out a little chuckle at something his grandmother just told her, "I really am." He looked at Thea, a genuine smile on his face for the first time that day.

"That is all I want for you."

But Thea did however manage to notice how his happiness was linked to someone else's.

…

Okay, two encounters in one day.

Felicity's day wasn't going well.

Well, it wouldn't go well either way because _duh, _but why does God keep screwing with her?

She just _had _to collide with Thea in the hallway, hadn't she?

And even then, she didn't say a word and just wanted to walk away but it was she who stopped her. "Felicity?"

Felicity closed her eyes tightly the minute she heard Thea speak before turning around, "Yeah?"

"Thank you." A mumble escaped her lips and Felicity's eyebrows rose, "For what?"

"For coming here. It made this entire," She bit her lip," 'façade' better." She nodded her head, "Yeah."

"I came here for Grams, Thea. For my son," Felicity answered back, "You don't have to thank me for anything."

"But I do!" Thea immediately protested, "We were so mean to you. _I _was a bitch-" Tears escaped her eyes, her arms rising in emphasis, "You didn't deserve it. Maybe dad not being here is my fault too. You know, to make us pay for everything we ever did to you. We deserve all of this don't we? I do. We all do but you didn't and I-"

"Hey," Felicity immediately stepped forward. She shouldn't be doing this but she was and she didn't even know why. Her hand reached out for Thea's, squeezing it, "Your dad's death didn't happen because of this alright? Get that thought out of your head." She paused for a second, "Blaming yourself for somebody's death, the guilt-it's the worst feeling you could ever go through. Don't put yourself through that. You don't deserve it."

"You do." And Felicity didn't meet her eyes for a second, "Don't you?" Thea continued.

Felicity chose to ignore that. She very well knew she deserved that but Thea didn't and even if, they weren't on talking basis, she wouldn't let her go through the same feeling, "Do you feel sorry for saying what you said to me because you discovered the truth or because it hurt more than it should?"

Thea didn't say a word, her head titling, "I felt bad at that point-"

"There you go then, you don't deserve this." She told her, "Don't guilt trip yourself because of a few words," She told her, somehow recalling what she told her once. Her eyes filled with tears, "Just," Her voice broke, "Don't."

It was not about herself at this point. Sure, she was not ready to befriend Thea again, but she could not let her go through this.

"Well, you should to-"

"Thea," Moira called out, pausing for a second when she saw Felicity standing right beside her. "Felicity," A solemn smile appeared on her face, "You should come join us. Both of you, we're starting."

Felicity exchanged one look with Thea before moving away from her.

Time to face something much worse.

…

The table was full of people. People in the presence of whom she felt home once. People who were her home once.

She remembered the dinners that they had. The time where they were a family. A happy one at that and now they were here together for what?

"When are we gonna get food?" Sara's brown eyes met Felicity's blue ones and the latter placed a hand on the top of her head. "Soon." She whispered and the child nodded, swinging her legs together.

Well, at least she got to sit beside Sara. And Tommy. And opposite to Oliver who was sitting right beside Laurel.

At least she got to sit beside Sara.

A moment later, she watched Moira get up. She was sitting at the smaller edge of the table, a place where usually the 'head' of the family sat. A pang hit her chest as she realized that her dad should have been sitting on the opposite end. But he wasn't here, was he?

"We are gathered here today to honour the memory of my grandchild, a life gone too soon."

Laurel looked at Oliver, wanting to gauge his reaction while Moira talks and help him. But he wasn't looking at his mother.

Felicity tried to ignore Moira for a second, trying to look down because she was pretty sure that the waterfalls would soon begin. Biting her lip, she looked up only to find her eyes meet Oliver's.

Who was staring right at her.

His gaze was intense, she could make out the moisture there too and her heart cried. Why did this have to happen to them?

Why?

"He was a happy baby. With parents who loved him so much.-"

The right side of Oliver's lip moved upwards and she knew he was doing his lopsided grin, like he was reminiscing.

She was pretty sure she was mirroring his expression.

They were really great parents, weren't they?

"A baby who was loved so much by his grandparents, by his Godparents, by his great grandma."

Conner was their _heart._ He had been the first child in the Queen Family after a long time and he was literally the attention of the entire house. From making him chase them around the house, to doing things just to irk him and get a reaction, to teaching him words.

Tommy had fought with John to be his Godparent which John had reluctantly given it to him because apparently he was already becoming a father, so Tommy at least deserved that. Thea had been his godmother who had spoiled him rotten.

Oh, he was so cherished.

The smiles on their faces conveyed the same story. Both of them staring at one another, recollecting the memories and trying to live in them.

"Who would have grown up to be someone that we would have been proud of. So much."

They were. His first word had been 'dada' which Oliver had taught him. Whenever she used to enter the room, he changed it to 'Mama' to make her believe that he was vouching for that like they talked about but she knew. He also was a quick learner. He had learnt how to clap his hands, blow a flying kiss oh so easily. They used to sit with him all the type. He also had learn to swing his hand when told to so she often used that against Oliver.

"Gone too soon."

And that was when it crashed.

On both of them, again.

She watched as Oliver's expression faltered in the second. They had been so lost that they-

The tears that she had been holding fell and Oliver broke eye contact with her.

And suddenly she felt out of place.

"Felicity," She could feel Tommy's hand on her arm but she didn't want it there. She didn't want anyone there.

She just wanted Conner.

She just wanted them back again.

The tears fell again and this time, she got up and ran away from the table. She ignored her name calls. Just like she wanted to ignore reality.

She just wanted to be away from it.

She didn't know where she was heading.

She climbed the stairs before passing through the hallway. Her breathing became heavy and she entered the first room she could get into. Leaning against the wall, she closed her eyes. Lines appeared on her forehead, tears escaping from the side.

She closed her eyes and focused on her breathing.

She needed to be strong. She couldn't allow herself to fall this way. No way.

Not now.

Not _here._

The door creaked open and a gasp escaped her mouth, her eyes opened, shifting towards the door. She saw Oliver entering the room and the words almost spilled out of her mouth, "How?"

"How what?"

"How do you this? Ignore everything?" Felicity asked him, "It hurts you doesn't it? Losing him?"

"Of course it does, Felicity." He answered back, "He was my son."

"Then why don't you ever talk about it? Why are you here helping _me _when you can't do that for yourself? Dammit Oliver!" She breathed deeply, "This happens almost every time. I'm so tired, "Her voice cracked, "Why?"

"Sit down," Oliver placed his arm around her, "Come here." Felicity didn't even realize what was happening but in the next split second, she was sitting on the bed, Oliver crouched in front of her. "What's wrong?"

"Everything?" Her voice was heavy, her eyes moist, "This was the life he was supposed to have, Oliver. And now it won't…it just won't," Her voice was a mere whisper at the end, "Just won't."

"We both need to stop pretending," She continued, "It's high time now. I can't with this pain-" She shook her head rapidly, "I can't."

"It hurts. Every time facing it hurts. We have to get used to it though, right? That's right. We both have to because nothing can happen now. Literally nothing-"

"Felicity!" Oliver stopped Felicity's rambling by placing his hand on the top of hers and the blonde quietened in the second, eyes looking up at him, "I know, okay?" He expected to move her hand away but when she didn't, he continued, "I know."

She shook her head, turning it towards the left, not wanting to look at him and cry, "We really need to." She whimpered.

"Let go."

"We can't do that," She shook her head, "I can't. I can't forget him." She babbled, "Get used to it. Get used to him being…gone."

"Hate to break it to you," Oliver tried to chuckle a little, his free hand landing on her cheek and Felicity leaned in almost instantly, "But that is moving on."

Her hand moved towards her face, landing right on the top of his, "Moving on." She muttered like the concept was foreign.

Here she was talking about this.

That is what she had been aiming for all along, right? Wanting to getting used to the pain and just remember him.

Get used to the pain.

Get used to the guilt.

Because he wasn't coming back. He was gone.

And she wasn't.

They weren't.

And she had to do this alone.

_Alone._

Without Oliver because the truth is he wasn't a part of life either. Not anymore. Whatever life they had was pas them and they was no way they were going to explore them again, right?

They both were gone.

Her two men.

And now she got to do this on her own. Face it head on and was she ready?

She had to be, right? There was no other option.

She was.

"You're right," She mumbled, moving their hands that were lying on her face in her lap. Her hand tightened on the top of his, "You're right." And Oliver grinned, his eyes however still glassy, "Thank you," She continued, "For making me realize that."

And he was the one.

Even back when they were married, he had always been the one to try and make her believe that.

"But I need to do this on my own," She whispered, "And you need to too."

Oliver didn't look at her, as if trying to hide something and Felicity squeezed their hands, "Oliver." She said firmly, "I saw you today out there. We both need this. We both are-"She sniffed, "Struggling."

"You have your family with you, Oliver. Let them in." She tilted her head, "Try. I can't see you-"She paused, catching her tongue, "You can't be this way."

"I-"Oliver started, "I'll try. But promise me, you will too." He looked at her sincerely and Felicity smiled softly, "I will. We have to, right?"

And they had to. But the weirdest thing was, here they were helping one another but they weren't supposed to. They were on different paths, had to deal with this individually, without the other.

But here they were.

Funny, they try to avoid each other as much as possible but it was always Conner that brought them together every time.

"Alone." She whispered to herself and she was sure Oliver didn't hear as he didn't give her any reaction. Her hold on her hands loosened before she let go and for a brief second she let herself believe that she had seen Oliver's face fall at that.

The moment was broken, Oliver's eyes shifting towards the floor as if he trying to kill the awkwardness. His eyes were still red but the expression however now resembled something different from misery this time.

Maybe it was hope.

He moved back and Felicity allowed herself to stand. She took her glasses out, wiping them a little. Placing them back on her face, her fingers moved underneath her glasses wiping the moisture around her right eye.

"I should-I should go." She told him and Oliver nodded rapidly, "Yeah," He stepped back.

She walked towards the door and Oliver didn't expect her to turn around but she did, "Oliver?"

He was biting his bottom lip, a small hum escaping his lips.

"It's not much," She scratched the top of her head, "But if you need help, you can talk to me, okay? I know I'm a mess myself but if you need someone about Conner, we can talk. You can say no it's nothing-"

"Thank you," Oliver sniffed a little, a grin appearing almost instantly, his teeth on display, "Thank you."

Felicity nodded, unsure why she offered to talk to him if he needed it. He knew he was taking sessions and he had his family. It was stupid of her to think he would approach her anyway.

But if he did, she would be here.

Not that he would.

But still.

Oliver sighed to himself the minute Felicity left. He collapsed on the top of the bed, his head down. He wiped his eyes using the outer edges of his palms. The tears had stopped, a grin left in its wake.

This was all he ever wanted.

And maybe they can work their way towards it.

Maybe all they ever needed was each other for this.

…

**May 2010**

_So, Felicity was going to tell him._

_She was going to tell him and that he was going to be a dad and pray and hope that she was right about him._

_That he won't leave her side._

_That he won't leave her alone._

"_Oliver?" She called out for her husband who was lying on their bed with his head on her lap. Her hand was going through his hair which she knew soothed him. The bedroom door was open. In normal scenarios, they would have closed it for some privacy in the mansion but now that they were living in their new apartment, there wasn't much need of it. Oliver had bought it. An apartment with two bedrooms._

_One for us, one for the baby. _

_The implication had been clear._

_And Felicity wanted it. _

_She wants this baby, she wants this baby with Oliver. They might not have planned it but she was pretty sure that she wanted it. No way in hell was this baby going anywhere. _

_She was afraid of Oliver's reaction._

_She knew he liked the idea of their babies but this soon? It had five months since they had married, would he reject it?_

_She hoped he didn't._

_Oliver let out a hum of acknowledgement, his eyes opening to meet Felicity's._

"_So, you remember how you told me you bought this apartment because it has two rooms?" She paused, "Because you wanted the other room to belong to..?" Her voice ended at a lower octave and she closed her eyes, groaning at her actions._

_Why did she have to be this way?_

"_Felicity?" Oliver questioned, "Are you going with this where I am think you're going?"_

_Felicity huffed, now or never right? _

"_I'm pregnant."_

"_Oh, you realized it." He was pretty nonchalant about it, his poker face on._

_Felicity's eyebrows furrowed together before it dawned what he was actually trying to say and she was sure that the surprise on her fact was pretty evident, "You knew?!"_

_Oliver frowned as if offended, "Of course I do. "_

_"How?" Felicity was dumbfounded._

_"Your boobs are big, you are very sensitive these days plus you fought with me for no reason-"_

_"Oliver, you don't know how to tie a tie!"_

_"I had a bad childhood, okay?"_

_"Oh shut up, next time I will choke you on it."_

_"Right. You love tying it though don't you?" _

_"No, I don't."_

_"Yes, yes you do."_

_"Oh please, I do not fight without a motive."_

_"Keep telling yourself-OW!"_

_"I'm pregnant, you moron!" She practically growled at him before making a whimpering noise, "How can you be so calm about it? How?"_

_"Felicity," Oliver's stance changed the minute he realized that she was crying, "What's wrong?" He got up. Their faces were close to one another and Oliver took this opportunity to wipe the tears on her face, "What's wrong?" He repeated again and Felicity sniffed._

_Felicity was stupid._

_She knew in her heart he would never ditch her._

_But she allowed that small doubt she had in her mind dominate._

_She didn't say a word for the first two minutes, instead chose to collapse into Oliver's arms. "I thought you might not want it."_

_"What, why?" Oliver asked, although they didn't leave their embrace. Oliver wanted her to talk to him first, "I've always wanted kids with you Felicity."_

_"I know," She groaned, her hold on the front of his shirt tightened, "But you never said when and thought this is way to early and we weren't even trying. I thought you would disapprove and then I started thinking of my father. For fuck sake's like why? The guy had never been there and now I start to think of him and -" _

_"Hey, hey, hey," Oliver's voice was soft, "Calm down."_

_Felicity hiccupped a little, the sobs finally dying down, "Look at me." She felt him move her face and then she was looking into his cerulean blues. _

"_I am not your father, okay? I never will be that. I'm not ditching you." He was so confident about this that she felt all gooey on the inside, "Ever. Don't let him invade your mind like that, Queen. You are stuck with me, forever."_

_Felicity tried to fought off the smile on her face, pretending to be disgusted by the idea, "Well-"_

"_It is what it is, Queen."_

"_It's not that bad." She answered back, "And thank you," Oliver raised an eyebrow, "For understanding." She elaborated._

"_Always," He winked and Felicity sighed, "I love you."_

"_I love you too." He looked at her intensely before leaning in and kissing her on the lips. "And I love the little one too," He added as an afterthought and Felicity placed her hand on her abdomen. Oliver joined her, keeping his hand on the top of hers._

"_We're really going to do this, huh?"_

"_We are." Oliver laughed, a big smile on his face, "We really are." He said again, the reality being a bit too much._

_God, he was so happy._

"_Parents. We will do this. Our chid is going to be amazing."_

"_Of course it will be," Oliver gleamed, "But promise me one thing?" He asked her, "Promise what?"_

"_Never doubt this, okay?" He told her, "Never. You are never alone, Queen. Stuck with me forever."_

_Felicity smiled back, "No place I'd rather be."_

….

Earlier this day, Felicity had been pretty sure about one fact.

That she was alone in this.

Alone in this city. Alone to deal with this grief together and she had accepted it. She was going to fight it alone, but never the less fight it. She was that strong.

Then she realized she had John Diggle.

So yeah, maybe not exactly alone in this city. While he wasn't experiencing the same level of pain that she was, he still was. He still was close to him and it felt good, that there was one person she could confide to regarding it.

And then, she came to the realization that her family wasn't hers anymore.

And she was _still _alone.

Because her family wasn't there with her anymore and no matter what, the grief still had to be dealt on her own.

She had to deal with this.

Because she was alone in this.

The guard opened the door that led her out of the mansion and as she exited, her peripheral vision caught something that made her head turn towards it.

Oliver was staring at her.

Oliver was practically staring through her.

And suddenly, she had to remind herself again that she couldn't let this happen.

Alone is how she had to deal with this.

She was alone in this.

Or was she?

Together it was for them, wasn't it?

**A/N :**

**And Done. It feels good to be back **

**Hope you liked it. Do PM or post a review regarding this chapter. Also, I will cross post this fanfic on AO3 (although it will be behind for obvious reasons so don't forget to catch it there!)**

**I would do weekly posts for now. Which means, one week, one chapter. Hope you guys follow! Xxx **

**Thank you for being so so patient and being with me all this time.**

**Seeya next time!**

**Srishti x**


	24. Chapter Twenty One : Leap of Faith

**Hi! **

**How are you guys? **

**Thank you so much for showing such a positive response! It feels great to be back! **

**Hope you like this chapter! It is small but important! Do give it a read.**

**Not betaed. All mistakes are mine.**

**Word Count : 6557 **

**Disclaimer : I don't own anything that seems familiar.**

"**A lot things can affect something broken and change it into something amazing. **

**All you need is faith."**

**Chapter Twenty One : Leap of Faith**

"Oliver," The guy in question immediately stopped writing, but did not meet her eyes, choosing to hear her rather than look at her.

The psychiatrist linked the fingers of her hands together as she finally approached the topic that had been in her mind for months.

Oliver had been one of her patients for a long while. She knew about his issues. This might have started as his way of just seeking help regarding his relationship with Felicity, but this man had far more issues than that. And a few days earlier, she witnessed a progress in him.

He had talked to her about Felicity had told her that she was moving on and that urged him to think about himself too. She wondered if someone apart from Felicity and her had ever talked to Oliver about moving on. But he had changed for the past few day, he talked and he _acknowledged _that maybe he needed helped to regarding Conner.

But Felicity was somewhat able to fix that. She would never understand how these two don't understand. She was well aware about who Felicity was, and so well aware about _who _she was to Oliver.

And they had established that connection. Because of course they had. Considering what she had heard about them, they had to sooner or later.

But while one issue had been resolved, or was being resolved regarding Conner. There was still one thing that was left.

Something that she hadn't addressed since the beginning but had wanted to. Oliver wanted to fix something, his relationship with Felicity by making her happy. By _Conner _because that was something, he could fix. This however,

"Remember how you told me that you still don't know where you stand with Felicity?" The man finally looked up at the mention of his ex-wife. "Why is that?" She asked, "I mean, why is that Felicity is still hesitant around you despite how you guys have been regarding Conner?"

Oliver was at loss of words.

He would not say that his relationship with Felicity had deteriorated. It was better than before. The sarcastic remarks to one another were gone, so was the animosity that once between them. Things had changed oh so much, but there was still something lingering between the two of them.

"I don't know."

"Let me reframe my question," Lisa started again, "Why do think Felicity hates you?"

It didn't even take Oliver a second, "Because I made her feel-I called her a gold digger, made her think that she was one who killed Conner when she wasn't-" Lisa's eyebrows rose, "What is the main reason Oliver?"

And Oliver paused, his eyes shifting towards the ground as if too ashamed to admit it, "Because I cheated."

"Correct," She said softly, "While you might have said those words and it must have hurt her. She believed in them too. She doesn't hold you responsible for that. For Conner. She holds you responsible for cheating on her. For making her feel that way."

_You didn't forgive me for the exact same mistake that you made, Oliver. How am I supposed to forgive you?_

"Can I ask a question?" Lisa said, because she knew it might be uncomfortable for Oliver to answer and she didn't expect him to, "_Why?"_

Oliver dropped the pen that he had been holding rather tightly on the writing pad, his head moving backwards landing on the head rest of the couch he was sitting on. He closed his eyes tightly, "I was hurt. I wasn't drunk before but then everybody started screaming at me how I was wrong and I couldn't take it. I got drunk and there was this girl at the bar who kept hitting on me," He finally changed his position, looking right at her, "And at first pushed her away. I told her that I had a wife and I loved her and she just did. And then, I don't even remember much. I shouldn't have, I know-"He sounded desperate, "I kicked her out after Felicity left. I shouldn't have-it was wrong and she is right. I can't ask for forgiveness for the same thing that I never chose to forgive her for."

The psychiatrist didn't know how to react for a second. The Oliver that had once entered her cabin would have never chosen to share this story but here he was doing it, "Do you regret it because you got caught or because it was wrong?"

Oliver frowned, his eyes red, "Because it was wrong." He said instantly, sure of it, "There are a lot of things," He paused, "That I regret because it was just wrong. Cheating, calling her things that I knew were lies," He uttered out, "Calling her a gold digger, a killer, bringing her father up-these things were wrong no matter what. And I did regret them then but now," 

"Knowing the truth makes it worse. Now, on the top of that you have more things to regret about."

"Do you think you would have ever apologized to her about those things had it been different?"

"Maybe."

"You know what," Lisa started to make a point, "The biggest mistake that you ever made in this relationship was not fighting for her. Was not _trusting _her."

Oliver rubbed his fingers together in nervousness, "I know." He huffed out, "I know."

"And the biggest mistake that she made was not telling you the truth. Not confiding in you. It's a two way street Oliver,

"You have always been about fixing this relationship," Lisa linked the fingers of her hands together and leaned down a little, "Well, Oliver. Cheating has no fixing. It just has a new start. A leap of faith that you take with your partner because you love them. Because you want to build that trust again. That love again," She sighed, "You were hell bent on fixing it, there is no fixing this. You just have to make her believe in you again,"

"I-"

"The question is Oliver, do you just want her forgiveness or you want her to take that leap of faith with you? What does it mean to you when you say that you want to 'fix' this relationship?"

Oliver's voice was quiet, "I don't deserve her."

"Maybe you don't Oliver," She didn't deviate from the truth, "At least not now. But maybe you could be, once you start realizing what you want."

"And what is that I want?"

"I can't answer that for you, Oliver." She smiled, "All I know, is that both of you made some mistakes. Some bigger than others. And maybe it is time that you start working towards it. In what way? That is up to you."

"…Why is love so complicated?"

Lisa refrained from making a comment.

Love.

That is what he was referring to between Felicity and him. And she agreed but she couldn't say it. She couldn't impose it over him, at least not now. She had tried that once, it didn't work out.

She would give Oliver time.

She just hoped he figured it out.

_Soon._

…

Felicity got out of her car before locking it. Pulling at the handle of the door one more time, just to check, she turned around heading towards Starbucks.

It had been a while since she has been here. Actually, the last time she had been here was with Diggle when her situation with Oliver was a bit weird.

It still was though.

Although, not bad as before. Being around him, didn't hurt as much as it did before. Maybe she was coming in terms with the fact that he would be around her for a while anyhow. Or maybe it was because they had been around each other for quite a while.

Because of Conner and work. Of course, it was because of that. These two were the only things that tied them together. Somehow, someway they always managed to end up at the same place or somehow end up talking.

Did it still hurt?

Yes, it did. Sometimes.

But did it matter?

No.

Because sooner or later, she would be out of his life.

"Felicity," She told the guy behind the counter her name and he nodded, writing it down on the cup. She smiled at him one last time before heading towards the table that was vacant. Pulling out her phone, she decided to catch up with the news when-

"What kind of a psychopath are you?" She blurted out almost instantly, her hand covering her mouth the next minute. She couldn't believe she blurted that out loud.

Just like that.

She didn't blame herself though. Okay maybe she did, but not _that _much. The guy was literally sitting on the table beside her, sipping his coffee.

Just sipping his coffee.

No phone, no laptop-_nothing._

This was _Starbucks._

How? Honestly, how? Her eyes widened behind her glasses when the guy looked up and Felicity didn't know whether to be happy or sad that she knew the guy.

"What?" Ed laughed out all of a sudden, "Did you just call me a psychopath?"

Felicity shook her head frantically as if that would erase what happened. Well, she couldn't be blamed though, really? Who just drinks coffee in Starbucks?

"You know, Starbucks is a coffee shop, right?" Ed reasoned and Felicity groaned when she realized she had said that out loud. Sometimes, she really hated herself. Okay, maybe all the time.

"Now, you're being harsh on yourself."

Why, honestly why?

"Felicity!" A girl who was standing behind the counter shouted her name and Felicity heaved a sigh of relief. Maybe if she would just take her drink and make a dash for the door, Ed would forget about this incident. Because he _should. _

So, she did exactly that. Taking her drink from the counter, she made a dash towards the door when, "Are you avoiding me?"

Felicity closed her eyes, her nose scrunching up, her head shaking a little at her failed attempt, "No."

"Because it seemed like you were."

Felicity muttered under her breath, "Because it was the only way to save myself from the embarrassment." And beside her, Ed laughed. "It is nothing." And Felicity raised her eyebrows at him, "You just called me a psychopath. Nothing."

Felicity didn't even fight it this time, "In my defence, you were just sitting there alone. With no laptop or phone or _anything. _Just drinking coffee."

"It is a coffee shop, Felicity."

"No, it is Starbucks where Wi-Fi is _free."_

"You love Wi-Fi more than coffee?"

"I love Wi-Fi more than _anything."_ Felicity declared as the two of them walked down the street, towards her car. In normal situations, she would have been little irked by how Ed hadn't left but then again, this was Ed she was talking about.

They had a history of weird encounters since the beginning.

"Right. You're into IT. Understandable," Ed nodded his head knowingly, "How do you know that?" Felicity frowned, "Why do you-"

"Reporter, remember?"

"Ah, the same one who wanted to write about my life story."

"The same one who did not do that." Ed explained himself and Felicity smiled shaking her head. A second later, they reached her car and Felicity was about to say goodbye when Ed tilted his head to one side, "Cute." He muttered as he eyed her Mini Cooper and Felicity frowned, "Really?"

Ed shrugged his shoulders and Felicity rolled her eyes before opening the door of her car.

"Hey Felicity," Her eyes met his and he bit his lip, his hesitance clear, "Would you-would you like to go out sometime?"

Felicity blinked once, twice. She didn't not expect this. She so did not expect this. She pouted almost involuntarily, "Why?" The word escaped her lips before she could stop it.

Ed expected a 'No' almost instantly, not a 'why'. But then again, when it came to Felicity she was always full of surprises.

It was her honesty that got to him. The fact that she literally carried her out on her sleeve and babbled. It was refreshing, something he hadn't encountered for a wrong while and it may sound creepy but he hadn't been able to stop thinking about her since the first time he met her.

He wasn't sure what happened with her. Well, he knew it because of the media but then again, the media tends to twists things. Showcase things that aren't actually true. Meeting this woman, he realized that she was not what they had once portrayed her to be. The woman in front of him wasn't selfish or greedy, she was humble and hardworking.

And he wanted to know her more.

So, he told her that.

Felicity had to stop herself from smiling when Ed talked about her. It was hard not to, because well he was talking good about her but her thoughts were running a mile per second.

Was she ready for this? It wasn't like she hadn't give relationships much of a chance once. She had gone on dates but it never turned out good for her. Even one night stands didn't turn out good for her. Not that she was considering Ed to be her one night stand. He was asking her out.

He was asking her out.

And she was actually thinking of saying yes.

Now, that was actually a first in a long time. The last time she went of a date must be last year. And that too, she went because she had too.

Now, she wanted too.

Not only that, Ed was a great guy. A guy who chose to respect her opinion and didn't tell anyone about her. A guy who carried a handkerchief for Christ's sake.

So, yes.

Because she was changing. She was moving on with her life. From Conner.

_From Oliver._

"And I know you don't date. The last person you dated was your ex-husband, and how your ex-husband scared away the guy before that and that government guy? Honestly, tell me he is in jail right now-"

Felicity laughed, "Yes."

Ed stopped mid-rant, "Really?"

"Yes." Felicity said again, this time with more confidence.

Yes, she was moving on.

…

**June 2010**

"_I don't even have the strength to move," Felicity groaned, her head lying against the toilet seat. Oliver was lying on his knees right behind her, one hand holding her hair while the other one massaged her back._

"_It's okay," Oliver spoke and Felicity closed her eyes, feeling him kiss the back of her head. It made her scream internally when she realized this was just the first month of her pregnancy._

_Morning sickness sucked._

_According to the doctor, it was a sign that the placenta was developing well._

_Oh, it better be._

_Because this was plain disgusting._

_What was even worse was the dry heaving that followed sometimes. To make it worse, it was just the first month. The fact that she had to endure this for the next few months scared her. Plus, according to google it would just get worse for her._

_She closed her eyes, trying to stop the dizziness from hitting her. She was grateful that Oliver wasn't questioning her. Rather he was sitting beside her, helping her._

_Biting back a groan, she made an effort to get up. Oliver's hand landed on the small of her back. She looked at herself in the mirror, the fatigue clear. Her husband kissed the side of her head one more time and Felicity sighed, "I'll be back in five." _

_Oliver nodded, knowing that she needed time to brush and floss. _

_She stared at herself in the mirror, a sigh escaping her lips as she realized she had eight more months to look forward to this. _

_Oh God, this really sucked._

_Her hand landed on her abdomen, but the baby was worth it._

_When she got out, Oliver greeted her with a lemon tea and a Sudoku which according to the internet was going to be used to distract her. And a little bit of food because he was making her follow a six meal plan, slowly but steadily eating._

_God, she loved her husband._

_Not having him beside her sucked too._

…

Oliver Queen was having a really sucky day at work. Let's rephrase that, Oliver was having a really sucky day in general.

The day began with his session with his psychiatrist who was right but it was also confusing. While he knew that Felicity hated him because he cheated and it was something that was really hard to come back from, he was unsure of what he wanted.

Did he want just Felicity's forgiveness?

Or did he want Felicity to forgive him and be with him again?

It was a battle of mind and heart again. While, his heart wanted the latter, his mind was fixed on the former because he didn't deserve her.

Felicity deserved someone who valued her. Someone who loved her for the amazing woman she was, and not hurt her. God knows, he had done enough of that already.

But then, he finds himself heading to Queen Consolidated when he spots Felicity and that _reporter _talking to one another, giddily if he may add. He knew him. He was the same reporter that Felicity had been talking to when they had press conference regarding the false rumours that the media had spread about them.

It had been so long since that incident. He'd wondered if they had been in contact with each other since then. She seemed rather happy talking to him and while on one hand, he was really glad to see her smiling, his heart felt heavy with the thought of her being with someone else.

His fists clenched almost instantly. He had tried to concentrate after that, had tried to ignore the image of the two of them, smiling, bidding each other goodbye but he couldn't.

He knew that Felicity deserved to be with someone like that. Someone who made her smile but-he didn't know how to react.

Felicity was _moving on._

Moving on with another guy.

And here he was thinking about how to get her to forgive him.

Like he said, why did love have to be so complicated?

…

The starting of the day looked good for Felicity. A smile was on her face, she just had a glass of her favourite frappe and she had been asked out by a guy who was amazing and she was looking forward to his text on her phone.

Yeah, a pretty good day.

However, she couldn't say the same for Oliver when she heard him screaming at Evelyn for the umpteenth time that day. It seemed like he woke up on the wrong side of the bed because he had been cribbing about the teeniest of things since this morning.

She remembered this habit of his. Oliver usually was a person who was very impulsive. When his anger took over him, he literally did not give a damn which Felicity hated so much. Although, reaching that stage took a bit of an effort. Something must have _seriously _pissed him off for him to act this way. Felicity and Thea often talked about it this anger of his was usually rooted with an issue regarding them or his family.

Nevertheless, he became an asshole.

"Gerry?" She called out and her assistant stood in front of the door of her cabin. She raised her eyebrows as a gesture to ask, now what and when Gerry shrugged his shoulders, she sighed. A second later, she watched Evelyn walk past him, not saying a word even when Felicity and Gerry both called out for her.

Felicity stood up almost instantly. She was done with him. Walking past Gerry, she entered Oliver's office without knocking or anything. She closed the door in the next second and Oliver, who was sitting in his chair, his head lying in his hands groaned the minute he saw her.

Geez, why such a warm welcome, Oliver.

"What is wrong with you today?" Her hands were crossed, her eyes narrowed and Oliver knew that stance meant that 'I am not here to take your bullshit'.

"Nothing," Oliver sighed, massaging his forehead, "It is nothing."

"Really?" Felicity's eyebrows rose, "Because you have literally been shouting at Evelyn without any reason. What is wrong with you?"

"I said it's nothing," His voice became snappy this time.

"Don't use that tone with me." Felicity glared, she let her arms lose. "Did something happen in your family, Oliver?"

Oliver scoffed, "Like you give a fuck."

"I'm sorry?" Felicity was appalled for a second, "What did you just say?"

"I said, like you give a damn about them." Oliver gritted his teeth together. In all honesty, he should have stopped right there and then but his anger took over.

"I don't." Felicity didn't hesitate, "What I do give a damn about is this company. You have been acting like an ass to everybody today."

"Right," Oliver nodded his head, "About this company. Is that why you're hanging out with that reporter?" He questioned her and Felicity was caught off guard for a second, "What?"

"That reporter? That same one who was at our press conference. You can trap you and lure you to know about this company?" Oliver reasoned, getting up from his seat. Walking around the table, he chose to stand in front of it, his back against the mahogany object for support.

"This is about Ed?" Felicity was surprised.

A small rational part of her told her that he was jealous.

She ignored it.

"So, we're on first name basis now?" Oliver chuckled sardonically, "Ed, is it?"

"I trust him, Oliver." Felicity didn't want this thing to get out of proportion, "He won't do anything of that sort."

"Well, I trusted you." Oliver couldn't stop himself, "Look how that turned out!" He raised his hands in emphasis and Felicity's face fell.

Why is that he couldn't keep his mouth shut?

"I'm sorry, you cheat and I am not the one to be trusted?" Her voice rose and that should have been an indication for Oliver. An indication to stop, it was her _loud _voice. A sign that she was pissed and she should be.

But so was Oliver.

The day's events were moving through his head like a reel. From his conversation with the psychiatrist to spotting Felicity and _Ed _together.

"Well, what you should have done is trusted me with the fact that you were seeking help for your depression! Not to fucking Ray!" He finally let out the thing that had been in his mind ever since he left the doctor's office. "Or Ed! Trust me!"

Something that clawed inside of him. The fact that she didn't trust him with it. And that was not the part that was hurting him.

The part that he proved her right was what was hurting him. That she didn't trust him and he cheated. Like he validated that reason.

Because, she had been right.

He was not supposed to be trusted.

But why?

Why Ray over him?

Why _Ed _over him?

He was just pissed at himself.

Because he knew, there was no going back from this. He didn't know how to fix this. _Cheating._

How did he make her forgive him for something that he never would have forgiven her for?

At his fucking psychiatrist who made him question all of this in the first place.

_What do you want, Oliver?_

Felicity's mouth parted open, her eyes wide. The silence that followed his words was deafening. It's like she didn't have a response and he stopped talking, not knowing why he said it.

Felicity sighed softly, her head tilting sideways, voice almost soft, "Where is this conversation going, Oliver?"

Letting out a groan of frustration, he turned around, palms landing on the office table. He leaned his head down, eyes closed. "Just get out of here, Felicity." He turned around, his voice cracking a little, "Get out."

And Felicity could have protested but she didn't.

Instead, she chose to turn around and leave his office.

What was going on with him today?

…

**July 2010**

"_What did you do?" Felicity stood in front of him, her arms crossed. Oliver closed his eyes in frustration, knowing very well what that posture meant._

"_Nothing." He raised his hands in mock surrender, "Why would I do anything?"_

"_Really?" Felicity's eyebrows rose, "So, you weren't the one who told dad that I won't be heading the IT department, anymore?"_

"_Hey, he agreed!" Oliver pointed that out but Felicity's glare only hardened, "This was supposed to my decision, Oliver. Not yours."_

"_This baby is also mine, Felicity." He reasoned again, "And I am just looking out for you. You don't need to take stress anymore, you are on maternity leave." _

"_I am on maternity leave?" She raised her eyebrows, "I don't want to be on one, Oliver! I like working in the company."_

"_But you're priorities are changing now. We are going to have a baby, Felicity. Which means you have to focus on your health aka no stress."_

"_I'm two months along, Oliver!" Felicity spoke in her loud voice, "Two months! I would have taken it when it was the right time. I can go to work right now."_

"_No." Oliver didn't want to hear any argument, "You're on leave which means you are on leave." _

"_What do you-"_

"_Felicity."_

_Quite often had she pointed it out that Oliver had the ability to say her name in different ways. Sometimes it was full of love, sometimes it was filled with agitation-_

_This however?_

_It meant that he was done with this conversation and did not want any arguments from her end._

"_You know what, Oliver?" Felicity smiled, which Oliver was well aware was a sardonic one. He bit back a groan as he realized what was about to happen._

"_Yes sweetheart?" He tried to sweet talk her and Felicity was sure that his way of trying to get out of trouble. _

"_Don't try and enter the bedroom tonight. It will be locked." A big smile on her face before it changed, her face morphing into one full of anger, "Sleep on the couch." _

...

Felicity sat on the couch, her eyes fixed on the television trying to watch re-runs of Doctor Who to distract herself.

"_Well, what you should have done is trusted me with the fact that you were seeking help for your depression! Not to fucking Ray!"_

They had talked about this, haven't they? She had apologized for that claiming how she felt it was right move to make since she had been afraid that he would leave her.

The most ironic part was that he left her either way.

She knew she made a mistake when she lied. She knew she shouldn't have but never did it occur to her to actually think about it.

It had always been about that he cheated.

That he didn't trust her.

And he didn't. She is not holding herself at fault for that. Cheating was Oliver's decision and it was wrong. Her hands tightened on the pillow she was holding. She remembers how much she had cried, thinking of those arms around her husband. _Ex-husband._ How much pain he had been when she saw him with that whore and those words that ripped through her.

She knew of Oliver's nature, his impulsive one. When he said those words to her, there was a very small part of her that refused to believe him. She wanted it so desperately to be something that he said out of anger but he _cheated. _Of course, he hated her. Plus, he never made an effort to stop those reporters.

Now that she thinks about it, he must have been suffering with the thoughts of Ray and her.

But for how long? She thought to herself. How long? He had been dating gorgeous Laurel for almost a year now.

How long did that take? She had never even questioned it. It hurt her when she saw them together for the first time, it was _Laurel. _The one who was with him before she came into his life. The one he was with when she was in love with him. The insecurities had creeped back in.

Did Oliver ever love her?

That was the question that came into her mind repeatedly.

Did Oliver think of the same thing? About how she didn't love him enough and was with Ray?

She never held Oliver account for assuming that something was fishy. It was always about cheating on her and treating her the way she was treated.

She remembered her time in Central City when everybody judged her. When everyone believed the media and she felt like she had to establish herself all over again. Not only her family was lost, so was her pride and for that she had _hated _Oliver more than anything.

She was deep within her thoughts when the doorbell rang. Her eyes flickered toward the clock, realizing it was almost eleven. She wondered who was at her door step. Frowning, she dropped the cushion on the couch and headed for the door.

She turned the knob and her eyes widened the minute she realized who it was. "Oliver?" She gasped, surprise evident in her tone.

The man in questioned grinned lopsidedly the minute he saw her. That should have been Felicity's first indication to be honest. "Felicity," He greeted her, his hand landing on the edge of the door beside him for support.

The blonde didn't say a word, her eyes moving up and down and if his staggering form and the slur that followed his words meant anything the, "Are you drunk?"

Oliver didn't say a word, instead making a move to reach her. Unfortunately for him, he stumbled, landing on the top of Felicity who let out an 'oof' the minute it happened. He pulled away a second later, muttering an apology and it was then when Felicity noticed the redness and the puffiness around his eyes, "Sorry. Sorry." He raised his hands in the air in surrender.

Felicity finally got a chance to scrutinize him. He was in his work clothes, his tie and his over coat God knows where. His shirt was crumbled, his feet staggering. She sighed softly, "What happened, Oliver?"

"What happened?" His eyes widened at that question, "What happened is I fucked up, today. Again. I shouldn't have shouted at you. No." He shook his head, "That was wrong."

And Felicity should have been pissed but she wasn't. While whatever he said, did hurt her but it got her mind reeling.

"I keep fucking this up," He let out a hoarse chuckle, "Every time." He laughed, "I'm sorry." He whispered again, his head tilting towards the right, "for today. For shouting at you, telling you-" He stuttered, "You to get out." He moved a little, standing behind her couch now, the back of the sofa proving him enough support.

"Is that why you're here?" She murmured, her hands landing on his shoulders. She didn't like seeing him this way, "Why did you get drunk, Oliver?"

"Because I don't know how to fix this one, Felicity. This one can't be fixed. She said it. My psyciatri-psychiatrist told me that you hated me because I cheated." He nodded his head, "I know you do. Because I hate myself to for that. How do we come past that?"

Felicity bit her lip, her heart breaking in two. His voice was cracking, his eyes filled with unshed tears. She knew he had been trying to mend things for so long but she didn't want that. The past still was a chapter that she just wasn't over with and now-

Now, she didn't know.

Did she want to give this a chance? No, it wasn't like a relationship but a chance of redemption for Oliver? Something? Forgiveness?

"But-but I'm trying!" His tone became hasty, his hands moving in emphasis, "I'm trying, you know? I know I was a jerk but I'm trying, Felicity." He pleaded, his hands reaching down for hers, "I really am. I tried with Conner and I don't-I don't know how to earn your forgiveness about this one but I will try. She said I have to figure it out and I will." He nodded his head rapidly, "I will."

She couldn't help the words that escaped her mouth, "I know."

"You know?" His eyes glowed with delight and Felicity licked her lips, her eyes filling up with tears, "What I said about Ray- I didn't mean to. She fucked with my mind and she said that both of us screwed up and I was just angry that I proved you right. That you pushed me away but by cheating I proved it right. And I _don't know _how to find a way with thi-this one. I don't deserve you-"He shook his head, "Someone like Ed does." He nodded, "I know that but…I _can't."_ His voice broke, "I can't, Felicity. I don't want to." His hold on her hands tightened, "I know I should but I don't want to let you go."

_I don't want to let you go._

Felicity didn't allow herself to believe those words. She remembered telling Oliver, how drunk words were sober thoughts. It took her a while, but she had accepted the words that he had spewed that night out to her as the truth.

So what he was telling her tonight, was that the truth today?

She stuttered for a reply, not sure what to say.

And suddenly, she was engulfed in a hug. It took her a minute to realize what was happening. Her hands were hovering about his back, afraid to hug him back.

_I don't want to let you go._

Why? Why now? Wasn't he still with Laurel? A small rational part of her made her think that maybe it was just the drinks that made him let his guard down. But the irrational part suggested that maybe this is what he has been thinking about since the beginning. Like he did when they were together. Maybe he had these feelings for her since the beginning and being with Laurel was just like-

_No._

She couldn't think like that, could she? But why-if she believed his words then, why can't she now? Because his actions spoke something else. She didn't know what to feel.

Why was love so complicated?

"I'm sorry," She heard him mumble against her neck, his hands tightening around her back. She missed this feeling, the feeling of being in his arms. He was drunk-he probably won't remember this but doesn't he realize what he was doing to her?

He made her envision the future of the two of them together again. As a _couple. _A future that wasn't going to happen. So, why was he doing this?

"For cheating. For calling you those things," And Felicity could feel the tears in her eyes fall. This was probably the first genuine apology that had been coming her way. Before that, he had been so on to 'fixing' this thing. His apologies were rushed, filled with regret but this was the first time, he was apologizing just for _that. _

"For calling you a leftover. For not taking a stand for you," He kept mumbling and Felicity still didn't hug him back. And then, she felt moisture. Moisture, there was moisture on her neck. Maybe if she hugged him once. Her hands touched his back for a second, before Oliver pulled away.

"She told me that I need to understand what I want," She somehow agreed with the psychiatrist. He was standing in front of her now and she couldn't help it, she allowed her thumb to graze his cheek lightly, "What else did she say?"

"She said that we both mistakes. That you pushed me away," He told her, "That we both made mistakes but some were bigger than others."

_That you pushed me away._

And then, her mind started flashing back to the time they were together.

"_I don't want your help!"_

"_Can't you just leave me alone?"_

"_No, you don't! I lost him-you...you don't understand."_

"_Go away, Oliver. I don't need you here."_

"_Maybe…maybe I should not tell him about this one."_

Looking at him, right now. She was sure of one thing that he had suffered too. And while she knew of the fact that he had suffered after he realized what the truth is. She had seen him deteriorate, had seen him crumble. The guy didn't get a proper sleep or food for _months._ Of course, she knew he was suffering.

But now, his words made her think of the past. Something that he hadn't held her responsible for since the beginning and she didn't know how he hadn't managed to do that.

She made some mistakes too. Mistakes that must have hurt him. He had left her because he was hurt. Because she didn't give a chance to grieve, suddenly it had become about she losing his son. Back when she made those comments, she apologized.

But did it matter? No, because she kept making the same mistake again and again and only, until she pushed him way too far for him to come back did she realized how much she had screwed up. She pushed him away and she was the one who kept lying.

"She asked whether we are just seeking forgiveness from one another or we want to take that leap of faith and be-"His eyes looked at her lips for a split second before meeting her eyes, "Believe in one another again." He ended it on a softer note.

_Believe in one another again._

And suddenly, reality came crashing back. She took a step backwards causing Oliver's face to fall but she didn't falter.

Leap of faith.

The truth was, that wasn't happening for them, _ever._ Because he was with Laurel and she? Well, she wasn't aware of what she was feeling. On one hand, she still wasn't ready to forget what has happened and on the other hand, she wanted to.

But could she?

"Maybe," She muttered out softly.

Maybe.

Because the truth was that they _both _made mistakes.

_They both made mistakes, some bigger than others. _

And maybe they can seek forgiveness from one another regarding it.

Someday.

**And it is done!**

**Side note regarding this chapter : (PLEASE READ)**

**This chapter is to make Felicity realize of the fact that she also committed mistakes in this relationship. Sure, Oliver did too but she had also been the one to push him away. This is not her forgiving him for cheating. He still was worse and she knows it. And she is not forgiving him for that. It doesn't come easily, but it is she realizing her place in this breakup. **

**Also, Oliver is still with Laurel. Her point of view would be explained soon. When you're drunk, it is your subconscious mind that plays through and that is exactly what it is. The part of him that wants to be with Felicity. He is still with Laurel because he doesn't believe he deserves Felicity and thus is suppressing those feelings for his. This is why Lisa said, he is still not deserving.**

**And Oliver and Felicity are heading towards one another. They haven't earned that forgiveness as of yet. It is a start. When they do, they would be in their right mind. And that will happen. **

**Okay?**

**Okay.**

**Hoped you like it!**

**A review or a PM would be appreciated!**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Srishti x **

**P.S According to the plan I have there should be a couple of happy chapters ahead, so let's see :D **

**P.P.S. Seeya next week! x**


	25. Chapter Twenty Two : What do they want?

**Hey, you all!**

**Thank you so much for the lovely reviews. I assure you that I read each and every review and your point of view just amazes me. You guys read this story so intently and I'm so glad you relate to these characters.**

**Thank you so much for this. I'm so grateful.**

**Important : **

**Also, I have seen a lot of reviews regarding Laurel and trust me, her point of view will be revealed. Also, they are a lot of reviews that I want to reply to. Lots of thank yous to be said and questions to be answered, which I assure you would be done in the next chapter.**

**Also, the shear amount of love that I've received regarding my board results and college, thank you! **

**Not betaed. If you spot an error, kindly point it out or you can ignore it. Thank you.**

**Meanwhile, you guys enjoy this chapter! **

**Thank you so much for the love and appreciation! Xx**

**Word Count : 8276**

**Without further ado, **

**Disclaimer : I don't own anything that seems familiar.**

"**It's easy to make up your mind,**

**But convincing your heart is the hard part." **

**Then to **

**Chapter Twenty Two : What do they want?**

Felicity focused her attention on cooking. Flipping the pancake one last time, she turned the stove off before putting it on the plate. Glancing at the kitchen slab, she sighed, moving back to the stand against the slab opposite to it. She had been cooking for past two hours which is why the slab was littered with all sorts of food ranging from bacon and eggs to pancakes.

She just needed a distraction to be honest. She had been up almost the entire night. At first she started watching television again but when that didn't work out she started to code. An after almost an entire night of coding, which was something that was supposed to distract her but it didn't she would like to add, she started to cook.

And here she was. Her hand reached for the cup of coffee lying on the slab. Taking a sip, she closed her eyes for a second, her shoulders sagging.

Last night's conversation kept playing in her mind.

The guilt kept addressing itself repeatedly. She wasn't ready for this. She knew he had suffered and she knew her faults, she had apologized for them but she had never really given a thought about how it had affected him.

How _much _had it really affected him.

She was angry that he cheated. So, angry. And when she realized this situation, she even addressed the fact that if she would have been in his place maybe a doubt would have hit her regarding his loyalty. But they would have talked. They should have talked.

But that never happened. And it made her believe, that he never loved her. That he believed in all those things that he spewed at her fact that day in the hotel.

Never had she given it a thought, that all those years even he believed that she didn't love her. That he believed that she had left him for another guy. That she _chose _Ray over him. And in hindsight, that was true. She chose Ray to help her out rather than Oliver.

But that was only because she had already caused Oliver so much pain. It was his ultimatum when he left their house that made her realize her wrongs and it was that move that made her realize that she wanted to be with Oliver. That she wanted to lead her life happily and not ruin it.

Until it all came crashing down.

For _both _of them.

She bit her lip, the thoughts in her mind still running a mile per second. She sighed before glancing at the clock. It told her that it was nine in the morning and she contemplated whether she should go and wake Oliver up. This probably was one of the perks of being the CEO, they didn't have anyone sitting on the top of their heads asking for them to show up on time. Which is why she ha decided that Oliver could wake up on his own.

But it was his phone ringing for the umpteenth time that day that stopped her. It was lying on the coffee table, on vibrate mode. Yesterday, late at night his phone had started to buzz. She didn't want to pick it up because it was her. She wasn't sure if Oliver wanted anyone to know that he showed up at her house or if she wanted anyone to know that.

So she had sent a text to Thea saying that 'I'm safe and would show up tomorrow' just to assure her of the fact that he was indeed okay. But his phone had started to buzz again in the morning and now, she figured it was better to wake him up.

She took off her apron, keeping the cup of coffee back on the slab. Rubbing the edges of her palms against her eyes one last time, she turned her head towards the staircase which lead to her room, the exact place where Oliver was lying.

It had been a hard task to get him upstairs. He kept stumbling, murmuring words but she had tried to ignore most of them. So, when he stumbled towards her room instead of the guest room, she had let it happen.

_I don't want to let you go._

_I can't_

_Maybe we can be together again._

There were a lot of things that were going on in her mind. She however didn't have the time to dwell on it. She made a beeline towards the bathroom, opening the cabinet and getting some aspirin out. She almost smiled when she realized that he had done the same for her once. That they were in the exact same scenario, but the roles had been reversed.

Taking a glass of water along, she climbed up the stairs to reach him. She pushed the door open lightly, peeking in ever so slightly only to find him snoring ever so softly. Placing the glass on the table beside him, she crouched down.

His head was turned towards the said table, his back against the bed, one hand lying on his stomach while the other one on the bed. Soft puffs of air escaped his mouth, his snoring prominent. She remembered the time he had started to snore. He never did initially during the time they dated or when she was pregnant. It had started Conner was born. Both of them were usually so tired and he had picked up this habit. It had taken so long for him to agree that yes he did snore and she had teased the hell out of him, post that.

And involuntary smile graced her lips. Her hand moved, fingers ghosting over his cheek. He looked solemn, it felt good to see him so peaceful. Especially after how he was last night. Suddenly, she was hit with how he had been once he had discovered the truth, what had actually happened.

Was he the same way then as he was now? It was funny, how despite knowing what had happened, he was still suffering. Both of them were.

Her hand brushed his cheek and that was all he needed. His eyeballs moved a little behind his closed eyelids, lines appearing on his forehead as he let out something akin to a moan.

She shouldn't have done that, right? _Why _did she do that?

Oliver groaned, his head moving. He opened his eyes slowly, at first it was all burry and he had to blink thrice to actually let his vision focus. His throbbing head wasn't helping much to be honest.

It was when his vision focused did he realize where he was. Felicity stood in front of him, standing right beside his bed and he almost wondered if he was dreaming again. Her name escaped his lips, his elbows moving back to support himself as he lifted his upper body.

"Hey," She whispered deliberately, "What-what am I doing here?" Oliver frowned, once he realized where he was.

Felicity's heart dropped a little.

Of course, he didn't remember. Why would he? It wasn't like it was an opening to a relationship anyway, she shouldn't be this sad.

She shook her head hastily, "You-"She paused for a second, "You were drunk. Came barging through the-"She turned her head ever so slightly, jerking her thumb towards the door, "Through the door." It felt awkward. Was it this awkward when she was drunk? It shouldn't be this awkward, right?

"I did-"Oliver held his head in his hands, "I did what?" He let out a hiss, it felt like something sharp was banging his head repeatedly. He massaged his temples with his hands, "I'm sorry. I don't know what-" He was cut off by Felicity who shook her head, "It's okay."

She crouched down opening the drawer, taking out a packet of Oreos that she usually kept for late nights in there. Oliver almost huffed out a laugh, huffed being the keyword. This headache hurt like hell.

"Eat two before you take the aspirin," Felicity instructed him and Oliver nodded his head, trying his best to smile, "Thank you."

"I'm-I'm downstairs." Felicity told him and he nodded, "Yeah, I'll be there." She nodded back, turning around the next second. She pouted her lips, a puff of air escaping it.

Well, that went better than she expected.

…

Ten minutes later, Oliver made his way downstairs, his hands still massaging his temple but he looked better than before. "Feel better?" Felicity asked, her hands against the kitchen slab. Oliver actually smiled this time, "Yeah."

"Good," She replied back and he sighed, his hand dropping from his forehead. "Listen, I'm sorry for all this-" He closed his eyes tightly, "I don't how this happened-"

"You really don't?" She asked him, almost cursing herself for it later on. "I mean you did before, when you usually got drunk, I mean-"She paused, finally finding _some _control on her broken brain to mouth filter, "sometimes."

"I-" Oliver didn't know what to say. It was becoming clearer by the minute as to why he showed up here. The memories were hazy though he remembered some of it. He remembered thinking of how stupid he had been to yell at Felicity, to be thinking about Ray and Felicity and then Ed and Felicity and also cursing his stupid psychiatrist. He remembered snippets of the incidences post that. He remembered some parts of what had happened here.

Some.

God, why had he come here of all places?

Somehow, he knew the answer to that question.

But, was he ready to accept it?"

"Not really." He spoke and Felicity bit her lip, her poker face on, "Right."

"Your phone has been buzzing," The pointed towards the device that was kept on the table, "This entire morning." She turned around, picking up the coffee cup she had prepared for him, "You should check that out."

"Right," Oliver nodded his head, his head turning around to locate his phone. Once he saw it, he walked towards it and picked it up. He let out a small sigh when he realized the number of messages on his phone. In the next he frowned when he saw a message from his side too, "You messaged them?"

"I did." Felicity started, "I mean I didn't want them to be worried so I messaged. However I didn't say you were-"She ended hastily, "I didn't tell them."

Oliver didn't say anything for a second, his fingers working hastily to probably text them something and Felicity waited for his response. "Thanks for this," He waved the phone, "And for not kicking me out." He almost laughed at that, "And for the aspirin and-"He frowned, finally noticing the amount of food that was there on the slab, "Did you cook all of this?"

Felicity groaned a little, "Yeah." She looked down at the food, "I was-"She stuttered for a reply, "awake. I mean I woke up early so." Her hand moved awkwardly. She shoved the coffee mug a little in his direction, "I made some coffee for you if you want." She moved the plate of food a little, "And can some have some breakfast too. If you want,"

Oliver nodded, walking towards her. He took the cup from her hand, shooting her a grateful smile. "Thank you, for all of this. I must have been ass last night and for you to do this-"

"You weren't an ass last night."

Oliver's eyebrow raised, "Yeah?"

"Yeah," Felicity echoed him, "You weren't."

He really wasn't.

Oliver apparently didn't hear her because his phone buzzed yet again. His focus was on it, a frown coming on his face in the next second.

"You need to leave?"

He eyed the message again. It was from his home.

Oliver turned his head towards Felicity, "It can wait."

He wanted to stay here. His eyes wondered around her house once again and then Felicity who was standing behind the kitchen slab, assembling plates for the two of them.

And he won't admit it to himself.

But the reason why he wanted to stay here because _this felt like home._

…

**August 2010**

"_Good morning," Felicity greeted Oliver with a bright smile as the latter entered the living room, blinking his eyes rapidly even though he just washed his face minutes ago. _

"_Morning," He mumbled back, making his way towards her like always. He hugged her from behind, his face nuzzling her neck making Felicity giggle. "You're like a furnace," She commented, her hands working on the pancake, "You love it." He mumbled, tightening his arms around her, his half naked body pressed against her._

_In the next moment, he loosened his arms before they encased around her stomach and Felicity almost laughed, knowing what he was doing. "He won't kick yet, Oliver."_

"_She," He corrected, pressing a kiss against her neck, "It's a she."_

"_It's a he and you'll see," She almost glowed the next minute, "Ooh…that rhymed!" Causing Oliver to chuckle. She placed the pancake on the plate, trying to move around to get the fork and knife. "Oliver! Let go!" She said and Oliver chuckled, "No." He declared against her neck and Felicity pretended to be angry even if she really wasn't. _

"_I'm hungry, Oliver!" She huffed, "Let go!" Oliver sighed, giving in the last minute, "Okay." He removed his hands, his shoulders sagging and Felicity turned towards him, grabbing his face and then kissing him, "Thank you."_

_Oliver rolled his eyes, walking towards the refrigerator. Taking out a carton of milk, his eyebrows rose when he found Felicity sitting on the other side of the room. Her hand holding the knife and fork, ready to devour four pancakes._

"_Uhuh," He let out almost instantly, making a beeline towards her before taking the plate from her. "Oliver!" Something akin to a growl escaped Felicity's lips and Oliver knew he was in trouble, but he didn't care._

"_You're dealing with morning sickness," Oliver started, "You need to eat something light every little while which means," He pointed at the plate, "You can't have this."_

"_But I want it!" She stated, "You know how long have I been craving for this? I woke up at five, Oliver! To cook this-" She pointed towards the plate in the same way he did, "And look what you're doing!" _

"_You can have two," He declared, walking towards the kitchen and then picking out another plate. Placing two pancakes on them, "MAPLE SYRUP!" He chuckled a little, pouring some of it on those pancakes._

"_I hate you," Felicity shot Oliver a full-fledged grin as she took the plate from him, "You love me." He stated, placing a kiss on the top of her head. _

"_You can have the other two in the next two hours," And Felicity scoffed, "And if this continues Felicity, we're shifting to the mansion."_

"_I want to shift to the mansion," She mumbled in a small voice, "I've been wanting to talk about that with you since forever. It's lonely here. You're out at Verdant and I've already coded a lot in these past few days," She shrugged, "Plus, Thea and I could hang out more and she has this awesome sense of style! That day she bought those tiny shoes which were so cute," She scrunched her nose while speaking and Oliver smiled, "Then we will,"_

"_Yeah?" She grinned almost toothily._

"_Yeah," He answered back before walking out of the living room, "Maybe they can also keep an eye on you and your food."_

"_I was craving!"_

"_It's for you and smol bean, Felicity! She needs it! " He said back, his voice at a higher octave so that his wife could hear him._

"_Smol bean is a he!"_

"_Then for you and champ, Felicity!"_

_Felicity stopped, not knowing what to say next. She smiled to herself, hearing the word 'champ' escape his lips. _

_Their princess or their champ._

_It sounded beautiful._

_And now, she was going home. _

_Yeah, despite everything._

_It was going be great._

_Her home._

…

The day in the office had been a slow one. She had arrived late because of obvious reasons and Oliver hadn't arrived as of yet which she understood too. Moving her pen between the first two fingers of her right hand, she kept on thinking about last night.

His words had been hogging her mind since then. She didn't even have a proper sleep for fuck sake and now here too. No kind of distraction was actually helping her.

_I don't want to let you go._

She particularly hated Oliver for that one, might she add.

_Well, I trusted you. Look how that turned out?_

She dropped the pen on the table, a sigh escaping her mouth as she leaned against her chair. Her hand landed on it and she closed her eyes promptly as if this will make it all escape.

He suffered too. He had suffered before and somehow, he was suffering again. Should she do something about it? She was well aware of the fact that he was trying and she had shunned him down so many times. But she hadn't given a thought about how he had been dealing with all those years.

It made her feel guilty. Because all those three years, he had believed that Ray was with her. And while, she also knew that it was his own perception but he made her realize that she played a part in it. A big part in it.

All those years, somehow both of them were being tormented by the same thing. While she caught him cheating, he believed that she cheated. They were dealing with the same sort of grief and Oliver was repenting for it. But was she? Should she?

She was moving her chair ever so slowly, swinging it. It had somehow managed to calm her down yet the thoughts were prevalent. "Felicity?" She bit back a groan when she heard her name, choosing to open only one eye to see who it was. She was sitting comfortably, she didn't want to be disturbed.

John grinned a little watching her and Felicity straightened almost instantly, "John," She greeted her friend with a smile, "What are you doing here?" She asked while he walked towards her.

The head of security sat on the chair that was right opposite to her. "You want some coffee?" She asked and when he nodded, she called out her assistant's name asking him to do so.

"So, what brings you here?" She asked, her eyes trailing towards the paperweight that Diggle was playing with.

"Actually I was here to check up on, Oliver." He answered, "Thea messaged me last night that he wasn't home last night and she thought that he might show up at the company." He paused, as if waiting for her reaction but Felicity didn't say a word, he continued, "Thea just texted me on my way here that he reached home."

"That's," Felicity's eyes on the red pen she had been playing with before resuming the same, her chair swinging lightly, "good." She finally met his eyes.

Diggle just smirked a little and considering, Felicity knew him very well, she would say that he was on to something.

And maybe she was also aware as to what he was onto.

But shrugging that thought away, she wondered if she should ask Diggle. If she should ask him how Oliver had been during those three years. She might as well do that, this was her best shot at knowing that. "Digg," She grabbed his attention, "How was Oliver after we broke up? I mean, he thought I cheated…right? How did- how did he deal with that?"'

She could see her question took John by surprise which was a rare sight to see, "What brought this on, Felicity?"

"Just wondering," She said almost too quickly.

"Well, how were you when you both broke up? He was the same, Felicity. He lost his wife and his son." Diggle continued, "He was insecure, Felicity. He needed therapies-his family put him in this bubble that was away from reality," He stopped for a second, "Both of you suffered for something that shouldn't have happened in the first place. Both of you were miserable."

She didn't want to make a comment but she did, "But then he got with Laurel." This was also something that had been stopping her from confronting Oliver, or hell from acting on her mistakes, "The misery must have went away, right?" She tried to laugh it off.

Diggle didn't answer.

…

**August 2010**

"_So what is it that you wanted to tell us about you and Lyla?" Oliver asked. Felicity, Diggle and he were sitting in the booth that they always did._

_It had started years ago after Felicity befriended Diggle. He had always been close to John, but then Felicity befriended him and once, had literally forced Digg to join them for lunch once. And then it started._

_They often got together. Just the three of them._

_Felicity hummed in agreement with Oliver, looking at him curiously._

"_Lyla is pregnant," Diggle said and it took Felicity almost three seconds to react, "Oh my god!" She sounded gleeful, reaching forward to hold Digg's hand, "I'm so happy for you both!"_

"_That's great, John." Oliver smiled brightly, "This is an amazing news."_

"_Wait, I'm pregnant too!" Felicity realized the next second, "What if our children end up together?" She pointed at Digg and then at Oliver and herself, "That would be-"_

"_Can we not talk about this?" Oliver almost groaned, stopping Felicity mid-rant._

"_Oh shush, I have to call Lyla." Felicity declared, getting out of the booth to talk to her friend._

_Diggle watched her leave, "Lyla had the same reaction." He admitted._

"_We're doomed." Oliver stated, "Be prepared for hormones and mood swings. Loads of them. From crying, to anger and let's not forget, the two am reminders about food."_

"_I am." Diggle nodded his head, "I think."_

"_Ooh, your wife also knows how to operate a gun, right?"_

"_Yep."_

"_Ouch."_

"_Like I said, I think."_

…

Oliver's hands rested on the steering wheel as he drove towards Queen Consolidated. He was well aware that it was past lunch time there, but he didn't really want Felicity to be working alone.

Felicity.

Somehow, yesterday he had managed to end up at her house. He remembered some of it and honestly, he knew the reason why he went there.

_What do you want, Oliver?_

Maybe he was really aware of what we wanted. His hand tightened on the steering wheel, did he want to accept this?

Was he ready to accept this?

He knew he wasn't deserving of Felicity. He never could be because he didn't really know how to make everything better. They weren't going to be able to find their way back to another, could they? He just didn't know what to think.

_What do you want, Oliver?_

His mind was joining the dots but he was refusing to admit that. Because it just wasn't right. A battle between his mind and heart again. Did-was this right? She didn't deserve to be with someone like him, did she?

He didn't not know.

He really didn't.

…

**September 2010**

_She really didn't know. _

_She was so confused._

_Narrowing her eyes, she tried to analyse the situation and then think about it. _

"_I think we should go with peach," Thea suggested and Felicity shook her head, "That would be very bland," She made a face._

"_Pink," Oliver said with confidence and Felicity rolled her eyes, "Blue." She countered him. "I am tired and we haven't even started painting yet," Tommy declared, while sitting on the floor against the wall. _

"_You're of no use," Felicity muttered, "None of you are."_

"_I still don't know why you haven't decide to know the gender of the baby yet," Thea rolled her eyes, her hair bouncing, "This is stupid." _

"_Surprise," Felicity corrected her, "We want it to be a surprise."_

"_I thought you knew it was a boy," Tommy declared, finally getting up. _

"_I do," She nodded her head and she could swear she saw Oliver shake his head in amusement._

"_Well, Ollie thinks it's a girl." They turned their heads only to find Laurel standing there, "Right?"_

"_Because it is." Oliver deliberately looked at Felicity nodding his head at her, "It is."_

_Felicity simply shook her head, her eyes focusing back on the wall which was white. Frowning a little, she finally reached the colour she desired, "How about yellow?"_

"_Yellow?" Thea tilted her head, "Why?"_

"_Well, it is a brighter version of peach in a way," She reasoned, "And it is neutral. Plus black and yellow go really well together. We can paint cartoons on it!" She cheered, "I saw this is a movie once. Pretty awesome and can have letters sprawled on the wall that say his name." Her eyes glowed with delight, "Oliver?" She waited for his response._

_Yellow._

_Somehow that colour reminded him of Felicity's blonde hair. _

_Bright was the word that came to his mind._

_Like mother, like daughter._

"_Yellow it is,"_

_Felicity smiled and then nodded. And even though, she wasn't really allowed to pick up and paint a lot she had a lot of fun. Plus, she looked really cute in her denim dungaree dress. _

_And hot. As Oliver had described it._

_Which might or might not have ended up in her being covered in yellow paint and screaming his name as they did it against the wall._

_She had a yellow butt print to prove it._

_Like she said, it was fun._

…

Felicity frowned when she opened the envelope that was lying on her table. It seemed fancy. Too fancy for her liking to be honest. Her eyes eyed the text on it before her eyes widened.

"You got this too?" Oliver stood near the door of her cabin, leaning against the edge of it. His legs were crossed, his hand holding the same envelope-an _invitation¸_ she would rather say. "Is this what I think this is?"

"Don't tell me you forgot 'picture day'," He tried to laugh, entering her cabin, "Events in this city never end, do they?" She mumbled under her breath, throwing the invitation on the table, "Apparently they don't."

"Who are hosting it this time?"

"The Bowens." He told her and instantly her face turned sour, "Why them?" She groaned, "Why us? Why me? I'm not even-"She paused and she must be dreaming because she definitely saw Oliver's face fall a little, "I'm not even your wife anymore, Oliver. So I don't why I'm being asked to come."

"You're also the CEO of this company," Oliver reasoned, "They are people there all across from Starling, Felicity. Those pictures go to magazines too, remember?"

She remembered. Of course she did. It was supposed to be an event to celebrate the rich and the elite of Starling. Almost all the CEOs show up to Starling, come to think of it, it could be a great party business wise. But it was also the same party that allowed them to snap pictures with their families and she didn't have one anymore of that, did she?

"Do I have to go?" She looked at Oliver, "Aren't you going?"

"I have to," He responded, "No one else is going from my family." And Felicity's eyebrows furrowed at that, "No one?"

"Dad's not here this year. Mom doesn't want to come and Thea, well she was never interested in the event. So I would have to go, anyway."

Felicity contemplated for a second. "You don't have to come if you don't want. I'll handle it." Oliver said softly and Felicity almost agreed with him.

But then Oliver was going to have to deal with those morons alone?

It was for the company after all? She would get to meet the best CEOs in town and maybe even talk about the future of their companies. The only part of the actual party did she like was the personal time they gave to the families to snap private pictures which they would be given. And then, it was usually pictures for professional purposes followed by a buffet.

It was going to suck, wasn't it?

But here she was, agreeing to it anyway and she honestly didn't know why.

"No, I'll be there."

She picked up the invitation again, eyeing it carefully. Reading it one more time, her eyes flickered towards the end of the invitation where it said that they were allowed to bring one date. For once, she was glad she didn't have to RSVP anyone back. The event was in two days, so they just had to show up the invite and let themselves and their date in.

Maybe she could take Ed.

Looking up, her eyes landed on Oliver's retreating figure.

_Trust me! Not Ed!_

She sighed.

On second thoughts, maybe not.

…

Two days later, things hadn't changed much. Although they had been working together, still the topic of him coming to her house at night was never touched again and Felicity would admit, her heart did fall to her stomach when she realized that Oliver indeed didn't remember any of it.

While, they was definitely no progress with her thought process because she was still stuck on Oliver's words that night and to top it all, she was also stuck with Diggle's.

_He was insecure._

_He suffered too._

Now, all these things made Felicity think. Because of course they did as she was thoughtful like that. She wondered if she should forgive him.

Forgive him. For everything that has happened? It went across her mind like a movie reel and she was caught in a conundrum whether to do it or not.

Did she want to forgive him for everything? She knew if she did, they would start afresh. And not as lovers. Because let's face it, that is never going to happen again. He was with Laurel so that thing won't be happening. Ever.

But forgiving him as a friend? As someone who has tried a lot trying to fix whatever this was. She didn't like to see him the way she saw him back then.

His eyes were puffy, his eyes held regret something that she knew since the beginning but now that she herself was realizing what she had done wrong, she had realized that he had never held her account for it. Never had he brought up the fact that she had been the one to push him away, he had always been there for her. Sure, he had moved away after a little while but that was her own fault.

And he had never asked for an apology for that.

So maybe, the least she could do is just _acknowledge _that he was trying. What had happened between the two of them, it wasn't easy to forget. She wouldn't lie. It wasn't. It still haunted her sometimes. The words, the cheating-It did.

Maybe it haunted him too.

And that hurt her. A lot.

So, she was going to try.

Try to do what though?

Forgive him?

Did she really want to forgive him?

_What did she want?_

….

Oliver brisk walked towards the mansion that belonged to the Bowens. Lifting his wrist, he looked at his watch realizing that he was almost half an hour late. He saw the carpet lined up and almost scoffed.

Honestly, Bowen why?

There was a podium right beside the gate where people were turning in the invitations they had received. While on the end directly opposite to it were reporters. Loads of them. He expected them to be here, after all it was a pretty big event.

Now all he needed to do was turn in his invite and he was-

Wait, where was his invite? He groaned to himself, his eyes closing, the realization dawning that he had left his invite in the car donning on him. Now, he had to walk all the way back to his car to retrieve it.

"Oliver?" He pivoted his head towards the source of the voice, his eyes widening a little at the sight of Felicity. She stood in front of him and he honestly didn't know how hadn't noticed her before. Her hair was in an intricate bun, her lips were red which went really well with the beautiful dress she owned. The red dress (which of perfect length may he add) she wore hugged her body perfectly and the zipper, _oh god there was a zipper. _

"Oliver?" She asked him and it was then he snapped back, "Yeah?" He asked before blinking his eyes rapidly, his bottom lip tucked between his teeth, "I mean, what?"

"What are you doing out here?" She asked, her head tilting ever so slightly, "Actually, I was about to go in." He told her and Felicity nodded, "Me too. I was just about to turn this in," She pointed at the golden invite.

"Me too-I," He stopped all of a sudden, "I actually need to get back and get mine. I sort of left it in the car." He shook his head a little. Felicity couldn't really stop the words from escaping her mouth, "No date?"

Oliver let out a breath past his lips, "No."

"Right." She almost smiled, "You should go get that invite." She started, "You know they won't let you enter without it which is stupid don't you think? I mean, since you _got _the invite, don't you think your name should be on the list? But you need it. So you have to go get it or you can get in with me," She closed her eyes tightly, biting her tongue, "I mean not get in get in. I mean, mine says plus one and I don't have one and I was just –" She shook her head, "Babbling which will stop in three, two, one." She took a deep breath towards the end of it.

"Really?" Oliver asked, "I can get in as your plus one?"

"Yeah?" It came out as a question.

Why is she talking like this?

Why is she acting this way towards him?

Why?

"No Ed?" He asked her too and Felicity shook her head, "Actually Ed's already in there." She pointed inside, "He's a senior reporter, you know?"

Yes, she asked Ed to accompany her to this event earlier today. She had been confused as to do it or not. Especially knowing how Oliver had reacted to him earlier. But then she had decided, she would ask him. Because if Laurel can be there, why can't Ed be there?

After all, there was no going back to being a couple was there? If something did happen, it won't end up with them being a couple anyway, right?

Right?

But now, she felt weird that he hadn't showed up here with her. And the two of them were stuck with one another and now she had _offered _him to be her date. Literally _offered. _

Where was Laurel anyway? Had they broken up? Maybe a fight?

She didn't have the chance to dwell further because Oliver offered his hand to her. Her eyes which were full of surprise met his. Her mouth parted open, not sure whether she should take it or not.

"Until Ed, right?"

_He is insecure, Felicity._

_Or Ed, trust me!_

She hastily placed her hand in his. His hands were rough and large like they always had been. She had honestly forgotten the last time she had held hands with him this way.

His hold was tight and there was a small smile on his face, his dimple visible.

That was until she replied back.

"Until Ed."

…

Oliver's hold on the wine glass tightened the minute he spotted Carter heading towards him. Like dealing with Ed today wasn't enough, that he to deal with this douche bag too.

Why did it have to his house of all places? He was a doctor for fuck sake, his mother had been the one who was handling the business but no it was him that was greeting people and organizing this thing.

"Oliver!" He greeted him so happily, his hand landing on his shoulder and Oliver moved a little, shrugging the hand off, "Carter." His voice was low and emotionless.

"Man, Felicity's looks really hot!" He said in a congratulatory tone, "It must be nice working with her every day, right?" He grinned widely, his teeth on display that Oliver wanted to punch so badly. "Although, she is hanging out with that reporter," He frowned and Oliver rolled his eyes, "Is he like her boyfriend or something?"

"Something," Oliver said, his teeth gnashed together as he patted his shoulder, walking past him.

He made a beeline towards the table that was assigned to the two of them. "I've come to a realization," Felicity started as he sat down, "I don't hate parties. I hate people," She raised her wine glass in the air with a mock smile on her face, her eyes trailing towards the woman of her nightmares, Isabel Rochev.

"What about Raymond?" Oliver chose to mutter the next few words under his breath, "His last name matches Ray's first name. Perfect."

"He's busy," She answered, "You know, this event literally has nothing good about it."

"Tell me about it," He mumbled, side eyeing Bowen who was a few tables away from him.

"There are the two of you!" The lady looked familiar and Felicity narrowed her eyes, trying to think that where had she seen her. It was Oliver who sprung up from his seat to greet her, the name 'Samantha' escaping her lips.

Ooh, ooh she was the douche's mother, wasn't she? Carter's mother?

"Felicity," She smiled warmly at her and Felicity almost felt bad for not recognizing. She smiled back, hugging her lightly.

"It's good to see you two together," And Felicity and Oliver shared a glance, unsure if she meant as CEOs or as a _couple_, because No. They were so not a couple. "QC has definitely ended up in good hands," She laughed and Felicity realized, she meant as CEOs.

Cuz _no._

"You both want to go ahead," She pointed at the booth behind her, "Magazine reporters are apparently dying for a glimpse at the CEOs of the top most company in Starling at the moment." Oliver grinned a little, acknowledging her, "We'll be there."

"Photos," Felicity mumbled under her breath.

Conner used to love this so much. The bright flash used to make him squeal so loudly, chuckles emancipating his tiny body the next second.

God, he loved it so much.

And now, she bit her lip.

He wasn't here.

"Shall we?" Oliver gestured towards the path in front of her and Felicity hastily replied back, "Sure."

And as she walking with him, she realized it was the two of them and photographs and interviews. With the reporters.

But she should get used to this right?

Because they were partners. Work partners and that is their job, so it shouldn't really be that bad. Especially if she was thinking of forgiving him.

Is that what she wanted?

To forgive him? Did that come so easily? Because it didn't seem easy to her. She didn't. Was she ready to forgive him?

Should she?

Ah, just when she thought she had forgotten about her problems.

She really didn't know what to do.

…

Ed wasn't really excited about this event initially. Back when he was doing his job in Gotham, he knew how boring these events could turn out to be. Business people were boring, it was rare that he spotted some young CEOs and if he they were usually engaged with someone else and he didn't really get the time to interview them.

Suffice it say, he wasn't really excited about this event.

But the Felicity called him and he will not admit it but he was close to freaking out then. He had fretted at first when she called him, wondering why she was doing it in the first place. Was it to tell him that she won't text him anymore? Or that their first date won't happen even if they hadn't really talked about it.

He hesitantly had picked it up and had heaved a sigh of relief when he heard her babbling at the other end.

Because it was Felicity and she _babbles._

She ranted about how she needed a date but then had also clarified that they were friends. It pinched Ed a little, not knowing where it was coming from but knowing her past, he wasn't questioning her.

Slowly and steadily.

He had almost said yes, but then it had dawned on him that he had to report to the said event early and couldn't accompany her inside.

On the plus side, at least the event looked interesting and provide him with good news.

So here he was. Most of the reporters had been lined up and he was glad that he finally had the opportunity to talk to them. He had been wanting to talk to them about their project since the beginning of time, which is exactly why he had showed up at the inauguration of the 'Robert Queen' project. But both the CEOs had vanished somehow.

But today, he had the opportunity to ask them questions and also, to be with Felicity. Never in his life had he ever been so hung on up on a woman. But she was just different. Her babbles, her honesty and most of all her drive to work with her ex-husband despite the things that had happened between the two of them.

Speaking of her ex-husband, Oliver Queen didn't really seem that harsh towards Felicity then he had assumed he was.

From what he saw, they were rather gentle with one another which pinched him a little. The subtle glances and when the photographer asked them to stand beside one another, his hand on her shoulder-he expected them to be awkward around one another which they were, before they just _gelled._

And he didn't like that.

Not only because he liked Felicity but from whatever he has heard from her about Oliver. The man didn't deserve her.

And here she was, probably giving him a chance.

A chance to do what?

The answer didn't really appease him.

He skimmed through the photos, wanting to check if he had missed someone. He beamed when he came across a pic of Felicity and him. Another picture overlapped it and he slid his pic towards the right, trying to see the entire picture. It was a photograph of the two of them, a candid shot to be very specific and it brought a smile on his face, until he saw the full picture.

Oliver stood at the other end and while Felicity's focus was on him, a beautiful grin on her face unaware of the fact that her ex-husband was staring at her.

His hold on the photo tightened but he didn't say a word.

He didn't have the right to.

At least not yet.

At least, Felicity wasn't looking at Oliver but him. _Him._

But from Oliver's point of view, it looked like he was standing between them.

He scoffed a little, dropping the picture back on the table. Turning around, his searched for Felicity. He might as well be with her now since his work was done. He looked here and there, only to find her standing at the edge of table where she once sat at.

She was looking at him.

He nodded in her direction in acknowledgement but when she didn't reply back, he frowned.

He followed her line of sight, only to found her looking at Oliver.

Who was staring back at her.

Turning around yet again, all he could observe was a smile forming on Felicity's face and Ed tried to ignore it but he wasn't able to.

Yeah, he was in between them

Literally?

He wasn't so sure about that anymore.

…

Oliver stood alone in one corner, his hand holding a glass of wine. He brought the rim of the glass to his lips, taking a sip of the golden liquid.

He was confused.

The psychiatrist's question ricocheted in his head. The day had gone by in a blink of an eye and somehow, it was okay. But what this day wasn't able to do was distract him from reality.

What do you want, Oliver?

The answer was clear. The answer probably was right in front of him but could he?

_He couldn't._

She didn't deserve to be with a man who cheated on her. A man who didn't betray her. A man who stood beside her.

His fingers twitched, the bitter realization finally hitting him.

Someone like Ed.

It was always a conflict between his heart and mind and somehow, his mind had won. She deserved better and he wasn't that person.

_You could be once you figure out what you want._

But the truth was, he didn't know to find his way out of here. So yes, what he wanted was just Felicity's forgiveness.

Nothing more.

His cobalt eyes met her shining blues and he was took by surprise when she shot him a wide smile.

And Oliver's heart warmed.

Earning her forgiveness it was.

Just that.

Nothing more.

_Nothing more._

…

Felicity stared at her feet, her lips pouted together. She was standing against her table, hands behind her using it as a support.

She was supposed to leave the place because there was a buffet and she didn't eat those, thanks to her allergy. She remembered after these events it was usually Oliver who took her out to dinner and they spent the entire day together.

Somehow, everything she thinks about leads her to Oliver. Always Oliver.

So, should she forgive him?

To give this a chance. To give him a chance, again?

_What did she want?_

The truth was, it didn't really matter. It wasn't like Oliver and she had any chance of ending up together. And it hurt. It shouldn't but it hurt her. Her mind told her it was the right thing to do while her heart didn't like to accept it.

If she did give him forgiveness, there would find their way back to each other as friends.

Did she want that?

To top it all, did she want to forgive him?

She was unsure of both of these questions.

Her eyes flickered towards him, only to find him musing in his own world.

_Not to fucking, Ray!_

_He is insecure._

_Go away, Oliver! I don't need you here._

_I lost my son! _

Maybe, she could start by acknowledging it. By acknowledging the fact that he was trying and this could be her redemption.

She wasn't ready to forgive him for somethings. That night still haunted, that image was still etched in her mind.

But maybe eventually, it would go away.

At least, the least she could do in this moment was acknowledge that he was trying to work on whatever this was. To make him see, that there was something left to rebuild.

By _both _of them.

And he won't suffer anymore.

Not because of her, anymore.

So, when she met his eyes, she did something unlikely. She smiled at him.

For the first time, in a long while did Felicity shot Oliver a smile that genuine and just _meant for him._

Because this was a start.

A start towards building this back.

_Their friendship._

Because there wasn't anything past that, right?

There couldn't be.

_Nothing more._

…

This was what they wanted right?

Wanting some sort of forgiveness from one another.

From themselves too.

So they'll try.

Try to work their way towards each other and build something back.

Their friendship.

Because there was nothing past that, was there?

Being friends was it for them.

So, when they realized what they wanted, the next question hit them.

_Is that what made them happy?_

_Being friends?_

And suddenly, they didn't have an answer anymore.

**And that is it.**

**A new beginning for them, right?**

**Hoped you like the chapter!**

**I would admit, I was kinda surprised when I saw people relating to Oliver too. Relationship is always a two way street, folks :') And I'm so glad you loved the last chapter and understood it.**

**Thank you for the love! I sure would reply in the next chapter! **

**Until next time, **

**Srishti x**

**P.S. Who is proud of me to have finally learnt how to align author's note?**


	26. Chapter Twenty Three : Changes

**Hey! **

**How are you all?**

**Thank you for the lovely reviews and the appreciation! It's overwhelming.**

**Important Note :**

**The reason why I haven' t answered most of your questions about the story as of yet is because they are still somethings I want to tell.**

**Which will be revealed in the next chapter. Then, I'll answer. The next chapter should make things clear. It is going to be a FLASHBACK chapter. Which means flashbacks of Olicity post their breakup. We're dwelling into their pasts again! **

**It's going to be a game changer so do read that one.**

**And now, you guys read this one! **

**Word Count : 7012 **

**Disclaimer : I don't own anything that seems familiar.**

"**Sometimes all you need to do is put one foot in front of the other and try,**

**Even if you don't know where you're going.**

**But someday, you will find your destination."**

**Chapter Twenty Three : Changes**

Gerry had always been professional when it came to his work.

It was probably the first thing you should be aware of when you are someone's assistant.

That their personal life is theirs and you are not to meddle with it.

But that doesn't mean Gerry doesn't notice.

Oh he _noticed._

He remembered the initial impression he had of the two of them. Noticing the tension between the two (which he totally got because of their history), he was surprised that the Robert Queen had vouched for the two of them to head this company together. He also remembered being glad of the fact that he had Evelyn who usually catered to Oliver. He couldn't have handled the two of them together.

But then, he saw how the two reacted to one another.

And suddenly, he realized how _complicated_ things really were.

And then, he had also observed how different they were after their trip back from Coast City.

Their relationship had always been dynamic. It's like the two of them weren't even aware of it.

But Gerry was.

Because he was good at noticing things.

Which is why it took seconds for him to realize that the relationship between Mr. Queen and Ms. Smoak had changed.

But they weren't aware of it, like the usual.

And he had the sudden urge to shake them vigorously and make them realize the feelings they had for one another.

But he was a professional.

_Dammit._

…

Felicity and Oliver sat opposite to one another on the same table. The two of them were in her cabin, Felicity in her chair, Oliver right across her as the duo skimmed through some files.

"I don't like most of these ideas," Felicity admitted, dropping the pen on the table with a small sigh before leaning against the back of her chair.

"I know," Oliver agreed, "The only one I liked so far is the power battery," He paused and Felicity nodded, "But it could only last for like a week more than a normal battery. In the market, it won't last much."

Felicity nodded, her elbow on the arm rest of her chair, her lips pouted together as she mused.

"What are you up to?" Oliver's eyebrow rose.

"I was thinking what if we get a power source that lasts forever?" She narrowed her eyes a little, "Like it could help a lot of issues. It could be used in hospital treatments, as a backup power source-" She hurriedly picked up the file that they had abandoned, her eyes narrowing at the details in there, "See? So much more use?" She patted at it.

"Hate to break it to you," Oliver sounded amused, "But the idea sounds practically impossible."

"It does," She nodded, "But it might not be," She immediately added, "I think I can think of something. You know secondary cells, well we can use that and-"

"I don't know chemistry, I flunked in it. And this idea won't work, Felicity."

"My pride that you know this is chemistry is slightly undercut by your lack of faith in me," She placed her elbows on the table, looking at him.

"I have nothing but faith." He shook his head, a small smile on his face, "Just do it." He got up instantly and Felicity turned her head towards the file again, "I think I will."

Oliver didn't say a word but nodded. Turning around, he began to walk away. He pivoted his head the last minute, "You want some coffee?"

"Sure," Felicity mumbled, highlighting something with the pen on the file.

Oh, she definitely needed some coffee.

…

Oliver tapped his right foot impatiently as he waited for the elevator to reach his floor. Looking at his wrist watch for a second, he realized that it was almost nine. He expected Felicity to have left the office premises by now.

He walked towards his cabin, frowning a little when he saw Gerry standing in front of it. "You haven't left-"He cut short his words when he turned his head towards the right. Felicity was inside her office, leaning completely over the table as she worked on something meticulously.

He sighed to himself.

"I thought I told you to leav-" He paused, his hand against the door that he had opened. A man stood near the table as well, clearly working on the same thing as Felicity. He frowned, he had seen him in the building once or twice but he wasn't aware of his name. The man in question grinned widely, nodding his head a little in acknowledgement. "Mr. Queen."

He opened his mouth a little to utter something back when he paused, realizing he didn't know what to say. "Felicity?"

"Oh yeah!" She finally decided to add to the conversation, "Oliver Queen, Curtis Holt." She pointed between the two of them, "Curtis, Oliver!"

"Nice to meet you." Oliver smiled a little, shaking hands with the man. Although he still looked a little confused. "Felicity?"

She looked at him again, "Curtis was the one with the idea about the battery, Oliver. He is under applied sciences." There was a pregnant pause, "He actually thinks the battery idea is achievable! Imagine if we do accomplish that?" Her tone was slightly giddy.

"Yes, Mr. Queen. We can actually accomplish. In fact, only a slight change in the current plan and-" He looked at his ex-wife, "Felicity and I were just talking about that."

Oliver gnashed his teeth together a little, managing to pass a tight smile Curtis' way, "I thought you were leaving?"

"Yeah. Nope." Felicity mumbled.

"Felicity." His tone was firm, as if holding some sort of ultimatum.

"I'll leave at ten," She assured him, "Curtis, do you think if we-"

"Felicity, you don't have to turn in the cell tomorrow, you know?" Oliver retorted, his hands landing in the pockets of his suit, "But tomorrow is the board meeting. We need to present the idea anyway."

"Well, we are the CEOs and we can-"

"No," Felicity stopped working, finally looking up, "This is fun. It's a long time since I've worked this way and Curtis is here. I'll be fine."

Of course, Curtis was here.

"I should stay too." He looked at the two of them working. He knew that he wouldn't get anything if the two of them started to talk and it irked him a little.

"You know nothing about this, Oliver. We'll be fine," She rolled her eyes, her eyes meeting Curtis' who nodded his head, "We'll be done in an hour, Mr. Queen."

"Fine." He declared, half-heartedly. Throwing a tight lipped smile towards Curtis, he turned around, walking out of the cabin. "You leave within the next hour, got it, Felicity?"

And the woman in question rolled her eyes yet again, "I will." She lifted her face a little yet again, allowing her eyes to meet Curtis', "Sorry, he can be a little…stubborn." She ended, after a small pause.

"But you clearly know how to dominate him," Curtis started with a smile but then frowning when saw Felicity's wide eyes, "I mean between the two of you, I can clearly see who has the upper hand." Her eyebrow rose and Curtis babbled yet again, "I mean, the dynamic between you two is good. Completely opposite to the rumours might I add. Shouldn't have trusted them to begin with." He nodded his head hastily.

"Rumours?" And Curtis almost groaned, of course that was the word she caught from his entire monologue.

"You know the ones that say that you don't get along," Curtis went ahead with it, hoping that the latter half of this sentence would save him from the trouble, "When you both clearly do." He expected her to shrug it off and go back to work.

But she didn't.

Felicity frowned, her eyes focused on the mahogany table. Her physical presence might be there inside her cabin, but suddenly her mind was drifted somewhere else.

When you both clearly do.

She knew how she gets when she works. This has happened in the past before and she also remembered reprimanding herself for the same. To not to fall for it and let him in again.

But recalling the past events, she realized this might not be work anymore.

Huh, she didn't even realize that. She remembered thinking to herself that she would allow the two of them to be friends.

Just acknowledge that he was trying.

And she did. For the next two days, she remembered coaxing herself that she would try and recreate something back. She had pushed the other thoughts away and had focused herself on that.

And then she forgot about it. Because things fell in place. Because she didn't need to remind herself to be nice to him because she just was.

It just fell in place.

Both ways.

Like it has happened a couple of times before.

Her eyes flickered towards the picture that she kept on her desk. Maybe they were really were getting along with one another.

And she had reprimanded herself for that in the past before.

But not anymore.

Because it didn't really hurt _that much_ anymore.

"Yeah."

…

"So, what did Felicity and you do yesterday?" Lisa asked Oliver, both of her hands holding onto the cup of coffee.

"Work mostly," He answered back.

"So, things still are good?" She raised an eyebrow, keeping the coffee mug on the table between them.

Lisa smiled. She had seen a certain sort of change in Oliver over the past few days. Usually when the man entered, he focused himself on writing the things he was feeling rather than expressing it himself. She had to coax a reply out of him. And now the same man had entered the room and had not even touched the pen, once.

She loved this part of her job.

"Yeah," He muttered after hesitating for a moment, "I think we are."

And it was a surprise to him. He had thought to himself that he would give them a chance as friends, because that is all he deserved from Felicity, nothing more and had pushed the other thoughts aside.

And they were making progress from both ends.

"And why this change?"

"Maybe it was because of the whole drunk thi-" Oliver stopped mid talk. He hadn't really revealed this to his doctor because he knew she would make a big deal out of this. Honestly, he sort of blame her for that entire thing somehow.

But maybe it had worked in his favour.

"What drunk thing?" And Oliver didn't want this. He had decided this. He remembered Lisa's words saying that they needed to believe in one another again.

Well, there wasn't much left for that belief to sustain.

And whatever was, they were trying their best.

And that honestly makes him happy.

"It's nothing. Things are better though," He smiled a little, "Better than before. She even visits the house more often to talk to his-" He paused a little, not wanting to say the word, "Conner and I, sometimes."

"Do you talk to Conner too?" The psychiatrist asked, well aware of the fact that he was trying to avoid the previous topic.

"No."

"Do you think you should?" Her voice was soft.

"I don't know," Oliver closed his eyes, "Maybe."

"Do you both talk about Conner as well?"

"Sometimes." He murmured. They hadn't much. Not since that day in the mansion.

"Tell me how you both celebrated his first birthday."

And it hurt. Because of course it did. His last birthday also happened to be his only one.

In the past few days, he had progress a little. It had started with him just talking about him and now had reached here. He wondered if someday she would ask him how he died.

He also wondered if he was strong enough to relive it again.

But at least he was ready to face reality this time.

He had hesitated to do so before.

But not anymore.

Because it didn't really hurt _that much_ anymore.

…

**October 2010**

"_This hurts," Felicity told Oliver as the two of them stood in front of the nursery. They had lots of time trying to paint it yellow. But that was the only thing done to the room as of yet. The gifs that they had received over the past few months were still in there room._

_They still needed to set up most of it._

_Oliver didn't say a word, his head moving up and down as he let out 'mm'. He watched as his mother-in-law roam around in the room carrying boxes of God knows what. She had been pretty excited about her grandchild and had brought a lot of stuff from him._

_Pink and blue coloured stuff._

_Shiny and bright stuff._

_And it made Felicity cringe. She loved her mother, she really did but she also knows that she was an over-enthusiast. The room was supposed to be subtle and neutral because they still weren't aware of the gender. _

_Now, it wasn't._

_And honestly, pink is for girls and blue is for boys can be a little sexist. Not that she told her mother that._

_Oh, but she had tried to. Only to get a response that went along the lines, "I'm excited for my baby's baby."_

_Yeah, she had given up._

"_I tried talking to her about it," Felicity started, "But she didn't listen."_

"_Of course she didn't." Oliver responded, "When does she ever listen to you?" He let out a little laugh._

_And Felicity frowned, "She does, okay? She's just-"Her head pivoted to see her mother, "overly enthusiastic about everything."_

"_Yeah, handling this could be difficult."_

"_You don't even know anything." Felicity declared, "I dealt with her for years."_

"_Yet you can't stop her."_

"_I tried, okay?" Felicity raised her hands a little in emphasis, "What did you do? All you do is smile widely when she talks to you. Come and talk when you could handle her."_

_Oliver looked down, his eyes narrowing a little at Felicity's petite figure, "You don't think I could handle her?" There forehead close to one another and Felicity huffed, "Of course you can't. If I can't, you can't either. It's not possible."_

"_Is that a challenge, Felicity?"_

"_No, it's me telling you, you can't."_

"_Fine." Oliver huffed out, straightening the collar of his maroon shirt in emphasis, "We both know she loves me more."_

"_Uh huh," Felicity nodded, her eyes telling Oliver that she didn't believe his words._

_Oliver just shot her a smirk before he entered the room, making his way towards his mother-in-law. Felicity laughed to herself, leaning against the edge of the door to the nursery._

_She knew what would happen. Her mom would recite the same words, probably show him some stuff and that would be it._

_Except that didn't happen. _

_She saw her mother smiling while talking to Oliver and in the next moment, she saw Oliver taking the box out of her hands and placing it at one of the corners of the room. She suddenly straightened up, watching her husband interact with her mother, her activities discarded._

_She blinked._

_When Oliver turned around, she expected this. The smug slash cheesy smile on his face._

_Ah._

_Oliver walked towards her, that big ass smug smile on his face before he leaned down, his mouth landing near her ear as he whispered, "Possible." Felicity didn't have the time to react when he dropped a kiss on her cheek. Flashing her another smug grin, he shrugged his shoulders, "She loves me more."_

_Felicity crossed her arms together before turning around and leaving the place._

_Stupid husband and his stupid mother-in-law._

…

Most of the board members had already been seated when Oliver entered the room. He saw Felicity sitting on one of the chairs, the one right beside her empty. He slightly nodded towards the people present in the room, a small smile on his face. Felicity however didn't notice him until he sat beside her.

"Sorry I'm late," And a small squeak escaped Felicity's lips and Oliver's right eyebrow rose, "You okay?"

Felicity nodded her head hastily and Oliver asked her another question, "Ready to show them?" He asked, reaching for the file kept in front of her. Opening it, he eyes dithered towards Felicity yet again, "Felicity?"

"No." She declared.

And Oliver raised his eyebrows, "No?"

"You need to convince her, Mr. Queen." Curtis appeared behind the two of them causing them both to look up, "She is not confident in the idea now."

"Didn't you both work last night?" He frowned. The information on the file told him something else, "There are a lot of things in there, Felicity. Talk to the board." He patted at the file with the knuckles of the first two fingers of his right hand.

"Well, if I talk to the board then they will want the idea. If the know the idea then they will ask how and we still aren't ready with that," Felicity looked at Curtis, "We need to work a lot on that." The latter guy added to the conversation.

"Then don't reveal the product but reveal the idea, Felicity." Oliver's voice was soft.

Felicity shot him a stink glare, "How is that possible? Are you aware how Mr. Dennis is-"

"I think everybody is here now," Mr. Dennis interrupted the conversation and the duo looked up. Felicity could hear footsteps behind her implying Curtis had gone back to her chair and she shared a look with Oliver wondering how she was going to reveal this.

She couldn't.

"Did you both approve of anything?" He asked the two of them and they shared a look. It was utter silence for a second.

"I agree the company is at the top at the moment but we need to sustain the position. The product itself would need time and we need to-"

Oliver looked at Felicity, his eyebrows raised, his head titling a little. Felicity shook her head, knowing very well what he was hinting.

And then Oliver gritted his teeth a little which Felicity knew implied that he was pissed with her. She pouted her lips together, shaking her head lightly.

"Am I interrupting something?" Mr. Dennis frowned and Oliver immediately looked away from the blonde, "Felicity has as idea."

And Felicity's eyes widened before she shot Oliver a glare, "We have been thinking of something. Curtis and I-" She pointed to Curtis who was sitting in the chairs behind the table.

"Thinking of what?"

And this was something that Felicity had been afraid of. Even Oliver was aware of Mr. Dennis' nature. The man was an asshole and if she blurted out the idea, he would definitely cross question her.

"That is proprietary, Mr. Dennis." Oliver came to her rescue, "But we are working on something. Felicity and Curtis are and I-"His eyes locked with Felicity's, "Trust them."

Felicity's lips curled up automatically, her eyes fixed on Oliver before she pivoted her to towards Mr. Dennis, "Yeah."

"I need to see results, Ms. Smoak."

"And you would see that," Curtis nodded as Felicity uttered out those words. Mr. Dennis had a sceptic look on his face but he didn't voice it out and Felicity was grateful for it.

The meeting was dismissed soon after. Felicity smiled to herself, glad that she now was given the time to work on this thing. It had been a long time since she had this much fun with work.

It could also be because she was a lot better these days.

"See?" Oliver shot her a grin, pushing the file in her direction, "Possible." He sounded cheeky, his face close to hers.

She huffed out a laugh at that, "Yeah okay." She will give him his moment.

Before anything else could happen between the two, they were interrupted. Walter came barging through the door, a frown on his forehead which Oliver believed deepened when he saw them. Oliver didn't know why until he turned back to face Felicity, her face close to his and he suddenly backed away. Felicity's eyes lowered the minute he did that and something akin to sadness crossed her face but before he could analyse anything further, she lifted her head with a smile on her face.

Maybe it was just him.

"Ted Kord wants to renegotiate the offer," Walter started, "Didn't you get the papers signed?"

"We did the first one agreeing to it." Oliver started and Felicity nodded, "And the second one was supposed to go on Monday which it did, right?" Felicity leaned her elbow on the table, "We did send it to him."

"What ratio did you decide on?"

"70-30," Felicity answered in an instant, "Well, he is demanding 60% now," Walter took a seat.

"What do you mean he is demanding 60% now?" Felicity's voice rose and she was glad no one but the three of them were there in this room, "It is our product. Our material. All he is providing in one part. He is demanding 60% now?!"

"What was the annual turnover of this project again?"

"6 million in the first year," Oliver pinched the bridge of his nose. "That's a loss of more than half a million dollars." His face morphed into one full of disgust, "How could he do this?"

"We should have had interim documents made," Felicity mumbled, "My fault. I thought Ted was a good guy-"

"It isn't your fault."

"Yes and it Ray's too. I'm going to kill him." Her voice still heavy and loud.

"His company is facing losses, Felicity. Ray is not at fault and neither are you."

"Well, I want you both going to Coast City again." Walter stated, "Fix this mess. We can't have this much of loss especially when we are the ones providing most of the materials." Pushing his chair back, he finally got up.

Coast City.

Felicity's eyes widened a little behind her glasses. Her peripheral vision caught Oliver looking at her and she didn't react for a second.

She recalled the events in that city again and bit her lip. The pain, the realization suddenly seemed raw for a second.

Before she finally turned to look towards Oliver, who was looking right at her as if expecting her to react any minute.

"O…okay." She mumbled out, because the minute she saw Oliver, she realized that they were supposed to be past this.

Not past this, past this.

But still, _past_ this.

Ah, it sounded the same but meant different things in her head.

"I'll get you both a private jet then," Walter told them and was about to leave when Oliver stopped him, "Actually Felicity wanted to fly commercial last time. So, I was thinking if we can fly the same-"

Felicity zoned out for a second. Yes, she wanted to fly commercial last time because the idea of Oliver and she alone on a plane didn't appeal to her.

But now?

She wasn't so sure anymore. The fingers of her hand twitched, would she be comfortable with him?

She had been recently. A soft smile came on her face, Oliver was trying. He could have let Walter leave but he wasn't.

Because he didn't want her to go through it.

And she was ready to acknowledge his efforts.

"Private is okay." She nodded her head.

Oliver raised his eyebrow in surprise, "You sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure."

…

It was night and Oliver found himself staring through the glass window yet again. He stood in the corner of the room, his eyes fixated on something outside. He liked this somehow. The silence.

The day at the office had been a hectic one. They had planned everything related to the acquisition yet again and he expected himself to fall asleep the minute he entered his room. Instead, he found himself standing in his living room, gazing outside.

He watched as Felicity placed the flowers on his grave. She usually arrived her at nine, sometimes she didn't when she was caught up with work. But she tried her best. The other family members had tried to invite her inside, but she never accepted.

She only came here to meet her son.

Their son.

He didn't know why he was standing here, observing her.

_Do you talk to him too?_

He frowned, turning around and walking towards the main entrance of the house. He was glad that no one was around, his mom upstairs in Thea's room.

His hands were in his pockets, his gaze fixed on the ground. A small part of him did not want to do it. But psychiatrist's words were ricocheting in his head.

_Do you talk to him too?_

_Do you both talk about him?_

"How do you do it?" He asked her and Felicity looked up. Standing up, she brushed her hands against her dress, "Do what?"

"Talk to him." He shrugged his shoulders, "To them. Knowing that they would never reply. It's one thing to visit him but talk to him-"He paused and then the words simply died in his throat.

He didn't know what to say.

"Isn't it weird, Oliver?" Felicity asked, "That it was you who made me come and see him in the first place yet you don't want to see him yourself."

"I do see him." Oliver tried to defend himself, "I just can't-"

"Can't bear the fact that he is gone and this makes you realize that," She mumbled, her eyes shining a little although no tears fell down her cheek.

In a way, they both were the same.

Dealing with something like that isn't easy. And it wasn't for them either. Both of them.

"It makes you feel closer to him," She started, "Sometimes, you can vent your entire heart out and they would no questions from the other end." She laughed a little, "It's progress, Oliver."

"Towards what?"

"Accepting reality," She shrugged her shoulders, "Have you?" Oliver asked, his eyes shifting towards the two stones on the ground.

"I don't know," She answered truthfully. Walking towards him, she continued, "Maybe you should try and see it too." And Oliver could see the tears in her eyes but she didn't allow him to say a word. She just simply walked past him.

Oliver stood there for a little while, unsure of his move. Sighing to himself, he walked towards the grave and then crouched down in front of it.

He had done this before. Had visited him before. But never had he tried to stay. It had always been a quick move, never had he sat here and acknowledged his presence, or lack to be honest.

Moving his hand over the stone, his face crumbled. The realization dawning on him again and it hurt.

"Hey Champ," His voice broke a little, "I'm sorry I never did-did this before."

And it hurt.

Hurt really badly. Like someone was ripping his heart out.

But maybe, if he continued trying.

It won't.

…

Felicity sniffed a little as she walked out of the garden. Bringing her thumb to the corner of her eye, she tried to stop the one tear that was trying to make its presence known. She didn't know whether it was a tear of sadness.

Or of happiness.

Her phone buzzed and she frowned, taking it out of the pocket of her jeans. It was a message from Ed. They had been texting a little and had tried to fix up a plan at the end of this week. She sniffled again, wanting to reply back to him. She wanted to tell him that she couldn't do it this week since she had to go.

Her fingers hovered over her phone and even if she could type without seeing, this seemed like a hard task. Her fingers were shaking.

And then, she heard it.

"_Hey Champ,"_

And the tears fell. She couldn't remember the last time he had called Conner that. His champion. She remembered how he responded to the word so vigorously. Only to Oliver.

"_Who is my champ?" He used to ask him and the child used to grin in delight, placing his tiny hands on his shoulder, "Con."_

She really didn't know whether the tears falling from her eyes were of sadness or happiness.

She placed the phone back in her pocket, turning around. She knew she wasn't going to send him a proper text anyway. Her thoughts kept drifting towards Oliver rather than Ed.

They both had suffered a lot, hadn't they?

She saw his figure crouched down. Biting her lower lip to control her sobs, she watched him interact with Conner. And she knew he wouldn't ask her, but it wouldn't hurt checking on him.

She knew it wasn't her place.

But, _once. _

He needed her.

Ed could wait for a while.

Oliver couldn't.

…

**November 2010**

"_You know when I first found out I was pregnant, for a brief moment I thought we couldn't do it." The two of them were standing in the nursery that they had decorated together. Oliver, Diggle and Tommy had works on the crib and it was finally looking good. _

_There was a toy that was hanging above it and they had placed all the gifts that they had gotten over the past few days in there. _

_And suddenly, it felt real._

_This was indeed happening._

_Parents. The two of them._

_Together._

"_I know," Oliver didn't deny, "It was because of your father, right?" He placed his hands on the crib for support. The two of them were standing opposite to one another, surrounding it._

"_Yeah," She mumbled, "Not anymore." She moved her arm wanting to hold his and he happily followed suit. She walked around the crib, she found herself in his arms, only the baby bump between them separating them. "This is real, isn't?" She moved her right hand in the air and Oliver interlocked his fingers with hers._

"_It is."_

"_We're going to have intelligent blue eyed babies," He stated and Felicity laughed, "Either a champion or a princess,"_

"_Champion?" She pulled away. Calling girls 'princess' was common, this wasn't?_

"_Oh yes," He said, "He'll be a ladies guy. My champ," Felicity tilted her head upwards, eyes narrowing a little as if she was repeating the word in her head over and over again, wanting to see how it sounds._

"_Sounds good." She nodded her head, "Your champ or your princess."_

"_Yeah. Our kids."_

_The two of them stood there together, no further words exchanged. The silence was deafening. Somehow soothing. No words were exchanged further, somehow they both knew what the other one wanted. _

_That they were ready._

_That they were going to stand beside each other through this._

_It was like they understood one another, could talk without words._

_Like always._

…

Initially, the silence in the plane was deafening. Both of them didn't know what to say. Felicity wanted to know about last night but she was afraid that her asking him about that, would make him back off.

She had left after a little while. She had watched him talk to Conner for a little while, words full of affection for their son. But in the end, she had left. Moira had somehow made her way down searching for her son and Felicity had to leave the place quickly.

She didn't want to deal with Moira and she knew that his mother could handle him.

He needed somebody, right?

And he had his family for that.

"Do you think we should have given Isabel that deal?" Felicity tried to initiate a conversation, looking at Oliver who sitting right opposite to her on a plus leather chair. There was a table between them, a large sofa lying on the other side of the room.

"Are you kidding me?" Oliver laughed a little, "She would have chewed us out alive."

He seemed normal which made her happy.

"Isn't that what Ted is doing now though?" She tilted her end towards the right.

"Isabel is a bitch," Oliver stated in an obvious tone, "Negotiating anything with her would have resulted in a mess. She wanted QC since the beginning, Felicity." And she nodded her head, her eyes focused on the ground as if in deep thought, "I hated her so much. " Felicity's face showcased the disgust she felt for that woman, "Ain't I right, Mr. Queen?" She repeated her words, trying to make her voice sound as much nasally as possible.

Oliver laughed a little, a genuine smile on his face.

Normalcy did feel good.

Maybe they were really getting used to it.

"You hungry?" He asked a minute later and Felicity eyebrows rose at the question before she answered, "Depends. What is there to eat?"

Oliver called out for someone and a man appeared in front of the two. Both of them told what they wanted to have and he wrote it down.

"Just no peanuts," Felicity nodded, "Or peanut oil!" She added as an afterthought to clarify further, "I'm allergic. No peanuts."

"Mr. Queen had already told us about that, Ms. Smoak." He smiled at her and Felicity mumbled out a small 'oh', her eyes landing on Oliver who didn't know what to say.

Right.

Of course he did.

"Don't worry about it." He went away with a final nod and Felicity shared eye contact with Oliver and the latter turned his head away to look outside, a grin on his face, that one dimple of his clearly visible.

And Felicity found herself doing the same. But she didn't know what to say, so she kept mum.

And thus, silence surrounded the two of them once again. Both of them didn't know what to talk about. Felicity chose to look outside the window, her hand holding onto the wine glass. And suddenly, Felicity acted a bit courageous.

He seemed happy. A small part of her expected him to share something with her.

He didn't.

It doesn't matter, does it?

If it wasn't him, it was her.

Somehow, bridging the gap between the two.

She placed the wine glass on the table before her. The index finger of her right hand moving over its rim as she contemplated.

Should she?

"You talked to him last night, huh?" Her voice was soft as she knew it was a sensitive subject. She hope that her talking about it wouldn't make him back off from it.

"I - "Oliver didn't know how to respond for a second, he was caught off guard, "I did." Felicity could see him rubbing his fingers together, a nervous tick of his.

"It feels nice, doesn't it?"

"It certainly didn't feel as bad as I thought it would," Oliver offered with a light chuckle, "It does. Takes something off your chest. It feels good."

"Yeah, it does."

And it really did.

Actually, lately a lot of things were making them feel better.

They continued talking. The conversations drifted from to her achievements back in Central City, to his family, to everything. Felicity didn't allow herself to dwell on the thought that told her it was just like old times.

They had been friends before they became something else.

She pushed that part down because that wasn't going to happen. Ever.

This was good though.

(Just not enough.)

But it was.

….

Felicity dragged her luggage inside the lobby of the hotel. She glanced at the interior of the hotel. It seemed nice. That was good, she was really tired from that trip and all she needed was a bubble bath, some red wine and sleep. Also, this hotel was different from the last one and she was glad about it.

She didn't need to be reminded of those memories.

Oliver had already reached the reception, asking for the two rooms that he apparently had asked Evelyn to book.

"What do you mean there is only one room?"

And Felicity's eyes widened the minute she heard those words. Dropping the luggage against the reception table, she finally spoke, "Oh not one room. Rooms. A one," She jabbed her finger at Oliver, "And a one." She ended, pointing at herself.

"I'm sorry but there is one room booked under the name Oliver Queen,"

"Well, Oliver Queen wants two rooms." Felicity declared and she heard her ex-husband huff out a laugh. Turning her head towards him, she smiled tightly, "What is so funny?"

"Nothing," He shook his head almost instantly, lips forming a straight line.

"Oliver, we need two rooms."

"Right," He told her, "We're willing to pay for one now. Make that two, why don't you?" He reached his back pocket, ready to take out his wallet when the receptionist told him there was no room left.

"What?"

"I'm sorry Sir," She apologized, "But the rooms are full. We don't have any more rooms available at the moment."

"What do you mean you have no more rooms available at the moment?" Felicity slammed her hand against the desk albeit lightly, "We need rooms. Plural."

"I'm sorry Ma'am, we're out of rooms."

Felicity bit her lip. Oliver and she, in the same room? She had read novels and had seen movies. She knew where this could end potentially.

Not that it would end that way with them because _no._

But it could be uncomfortable. The two of them, together.

"Evelyn booked it," Oliver told her and she didn't even realize that he had called her. "She said they must have heard it wrong."

"Well," Felicity started, trying to find an alternative, "The room is going to be big, right? Like the one we had in our previous hotel? The 'suite' thing, right?" She looked at the receptionist who shook her head sheepishly, "The booking is of a regular room, Ma'am."

Felicity gritted her teeth, "See? This is what happens when I let you do the job," She poked Oliver in the chest with her index fingers, "You've always been this careless when it comes things like these."

"What did I do?" Oliver's mouth parted open, "Did I call them and specifically said, Guys book us one room because Felicity hates the idea of it," He shot her a sardonic grin.

"Oh, screw it." She sighed in exasperation, "Can I get the keys please?" The receptionist nodded hastily, giving it to her.

Oliver watched his ex-wife retreat and sighed. Smiling a little at the receptionist he pointed towards the luggage, "Make sure this reaches our room,"

Walking away from the table and towards the elevator, he placed his hands in the pockets of his trousers. Sighing a little, he thought about the idea of the two of them in the same room. He hadn't reacted much because Felicity was freaking out about it.

He might not admit it but he was too.

But it was only two nights, right?

Two _long _nights.

**This is it! **

**Hope you all liked it!**

**A review or a PM about this story is always appreciated.**

**Important Note :**

**This chapter is about moving on. These things have been happening slow and steadily, over a span of a lot of days. It's to depict the changes. What they were and what they are now. Hope you liked that.**

**The next chapter in the story is very important. It is going to be a FLASHBACK chapter. Yes, we're dwelling into the past again.**

**Yep, post O/F breakup flashbacks.**

**Which is why I didn't answer the questions that you people have as of yet. A lot of things will be cleared in the next chapter xD**

**I'm super excited for that one. It's going to be long and I'll try to update it ASAP.**

**Thank you for reading,**

**Srishti x **

**P.S you can also come and say hi to me on Twitter : Srishti369 :D**

.


	27. Snippet - SOTY!

**Hi.**

**To the people who expected this to be an update, I'm so sorry but this is just a snippet from the next chapter that I used as a motivation for people to vote for Ship of The Year for Olicity. **

**We have to defend our title, right?**

**So here it is. **

**Like I said before, the upcoming chapter is a flashback chapter. Which means random flashbacks and most of them being O/F post break up flashbacks.**

**And keep voting!**

**(Bold italics is him recalling the past)**

"**How many people would Oliver Queen lose, before there is no more Oliver Queen?" – Slade Wilson, 3x15, Arrow. **

**May 2012**

**Post Breakup (Divorce)**

_There was a small part of him that hadn't believed this was true._

_That all the things that he had encountered in the past few days weren't true. _

_His Felicity loved him, right? She wouldn't cheat on him? She can't. But he remembered everything. He knew everything._

_How could he deny the reality?_

_It was true. _

_She had left with him. Left with him to make a life in Central City._

_Had left him behind. _

_His right hand shoved the gear stick of his car, his foot pressing the accelerator causing the car to roar out loudly. His hands tightened on the steering wheel, his vision blurry but he didn't care._

_He didn't care._

_His eyes kept flickering towards his hand which had no wedding ring on it. The same wedding ring that Felicity had chosen for him, the wedding ring that he never took off._

_It was gone. _

_He had thrown it away somewhere in their house and he didn't want to go back there. He bought that place for her._

_For his entire family._

_And suddenly, this realization dawned on him that his entire family was gone. He remembered his grandma's words to him that how this world was a big place and it takes time but someday, you'll make a world for yourself in it._

_He made that world for himself._

_And that world of his was destroyed now. _

_It was like a reel. Like a film which was on repeat. He had been trying to ignore it ever since he woke up but he couldn't. _

_He just couldn't._

_Felicity didn't deserve this. She left with her new lover and he was all alone. _

_He knew sleeping with someone else was wrong but he couldn't help but think about all the past events where she caused him pain._

_She deserved to embrace the same sort of pain, didn't she?_

_Then why did he feel guilty about it?_

_She left him and here he was, thinking of her. He bets that at this very moment she must be with Ray. Maybe they were whispering I love you to one another, or planning to build a world of their own. Kissing each other, holding each other –_

_**We can try, can't we?**_

_**So tomorrow is final, right? We don't have to tell Oliver about this.**_

_**You sure...she is not, looking for comfort somewhere else?**_

_**I just met him on the way. **_

_**I'm her best friend.**_

_**This place is great but I think we need a new start. Just for a little while away from all of this.**_

_Away from what? Him? Conner?_

_**I'm sorry for your loss, Mr. Queen.**_

_And suddenly, he moved his steering to the right, hitting the brakes the next moment. He parked near the very edge of the footpath. He didn't even realize that he had done that. He had just hit the brakes impulsively in the middle of the traffic. _

_Would it matter if he hadn't done this?_

_Did he care if he died?_

_No, in that moment. He didn't._

"_Just a little while away from all of this."_

"_I'm sorry. We weren't able to save your son, Mr. Queen."_

_His hands on the steering wheel shivered. The tears that he had been controlling for so long fell down his cheeks, his head leaned down. _

_He didn't know what to do._

_He really didn't._

_His breath became heavy, deep breaths escaping his lips but the tears didn't stop. They just didn't stop. _

_His hands landed in his hair to cradle his head as if that will make all these thoughts vanish._

_As if it could change the reality._

_That his son wasn't dead._

_That his wife hadn't left him for someone else._

_And a growl full of agony escaped his lips, his right hand slamming the steering wheel in frustration._

_The pain was too much. He didn't know if he could bear it. He couldn't bear this. It felt like someone had ripped his heart out and someone had._

_He hated her._

_He hated her for walking into his life and then walking away just like that._

_He hated her for cheating on him and abandoning him and their child just like that. _

_And he hated himself for letting that happen._

_For giving her reasons to choose Ray over him._

_For sleeping with someone else._

_He would try and change it all if he could._

_But he couldn't, could he?_

_So he sobbed. His hands covered his eyes, his body shook and he didn't stop. Because that was the only way to let this pain out. And it didn't help him. It couldn't help him. Because he already had lost the people that meant the most to him._

_And there was no coming back from this. The stark realization that how his life is going to be from here on made him sob harder. A growl escaped his lips yet again, his voice hoarse and broken. _

_He didn't know how he was going to go on from here._

_Without his son._

_Without his wife._

_His world that he had once made had crumbled brutally and he didn't know what to do._

_What once was a beautiful family is now a broken one._

_And that reality made Oliver want to cry all over again._

_But it won't change the reality, would it?_

_Because that is what they were now._

_Broken._

_At least, he was. _

**Hope this made you look forward to the update! **

**P.S. If you want to you can read chapter 15 again to understand things better.**

**AND KEEP VOTING! **

**Srishti x **


	28. Chap Twenty Four: Revelations Reloaded

**Hey you guys!**

**Finally the next chapter! I have very excited for this one. And I hope you guys like it.**

**Thank you to all the people (in no particular order) : lotus2016, guest(1), malafle, guest(2), irishfirechick,sofiabyn, belairdesi, missfsmoak, guest(3),lupis93, Kamaza,dreaminngofolicitrealized, guest(4),acknnnedy7,sin. Bella. 9, guest(5) samantha761, clcmjd, pinkranger85, dotty92, roseandbears, -Queen, KELLS B, Deleva4eva, Terry1979, Lily. pads. ROX, lupis93, onetreefan, guest(6), remirezalba96, Annaci, NJ, guest(7),vero diaz, Elizabeth. Harrison. 5283, Tanzina1, guest(8), val09, lucy1997, Kathryn, guest(9), leanaplumz,lupis93, guest(10), flying-green-monkey, she doesn't mind, jen, sacarstic1515, sylviacake231, guest(11), Nobodies Perfect-not even you, ImAOlicitySuperFan, Filmsu, guest(12), heidi.**

**Dreamingofolicityrealized – Your reviews regarding this fic are beautiful. Thank you. And yes, all they needed to do was talk.**

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**LILY. pads. ROX : Oliver and Felicity going to a therapy sounds like a GREAT idea. I'll see what I can do with it! Thank you x**

**Terry1979- Thank you! **

**I'm thrilled with all the reviews! Thank you so much! X **

**Now, without further ado, here is the next chapter. **

**Word Count : 13813**

**Not Betaed.**

**Also, this chapter has Laurel's POV. It was needed. PLEASE read it to understand the story better. At least the end, thank you. **

**Don't hold me account for the chapter name. I suck at it.**

**TRIGGER WARNING : SUICIDE AND SUBSTANCE ABUSE MENTION.**

"**Isn't that the entire point of marriage? To get through the hard times **

**Because we are together. Not inspite of it." – Felicity Smoak, 4x09, Arrow**

**Chapter Twenty Four : Revelations Reloaded **

Felicity wasn't really fond of the idea of the two of them in the same room.

It was supposed to be _rooms. _Not room.

She sighed to herself, her hands landing on the bed she was lying on. Her eyes landed on her ex-husband who was lying on the couch opposite to her. When she had entered the room, she thought to herself that maybe it would be like those movies where the girl and the guy ended up in the same bed.

Fortunately, the couch was big enough for Oliver to sleep on and she had insisted to be the one to do that but he had said no.

And now that the matter was sorted out, she couldn't fall asleep. Even though she was really tired. Along with Oliver, they had planned a little about how to confront Ted. They had had dinner in the room itself and had also watched a movie on the television.

She was tired but she just wasn't falling asleep. Her hand moved landing on the space beside her.

The _empty _space.

Closing her eyes, she tried to fall asleep yet again. She had a meeting tomorrow, she couldn't screw that up.

…

_Felicity bit her lip as she walked out of their bedroom. She hadn't been able to sleep for the past few hours and had kept tossing and turning in her bed. _

_Her ego stopped her for admitting the reason why but ultimately, she had to give up. She glanced at her husband who was sleeping on the couch, a blanket covering him. She walked towards the couch, standing behind it, her hands holding the furniture._

_She hated him sometimes._

"_Now you're just going to stand there or come here," She looked down only to see her husband grinning at her. _

"_Get the smug smile off your face," Felicity mumbled, a pout appearing on her face, walking around the couch to reach him. _

_Oliver didn't say a word, his grin unwavering. He moved a little, trying to make space for her. Felicity huffed out of puff of air but eventually gave in, landing beside him. Oliver's smile widened and the blonde mumbled out yet again, "Stop it!"_

"_I won't," He said, deliberately flashing her a smile this time and Felicity just groaned a little, burying her face in the crook of his neck, "You know the two of us can't sleep without one another. But you try anyway and," He looked down at her, their eyes meeting, "You fail." Felicity moved her right hand, shoving it against the left side of his face trying to slap him away, "I'm still angry at you." _

"_No, you're not." Oliver chuckled._

_And Felicity knew she wasn't but she tried to defend herself anyway, "I am. Stop smiling now." She poked that one dimple of his and then added a little force causing him to move his face away, "Ow!"_

"_Go to sleep, Mister."_

"_That is what I was doing, Felicity." Oliver smiled, "But you weren't able to sleep."_

_And Felicity slammed her hand on his chest, "Geez, woman! Why so violent!"_

"_You weren't sleeping either," She narrowed her eyes, "But I wasn't the one who was trying to be angry." Oliver's eyebrow rose._

"_Someday I will be angry enough at you to sleep without you, you see." Felicity buried her face back in the crook of his neck and she felt Oliver drop a kiss on the top of her head, "I won't let that happen, sweetheart."_

_Felicity just hummed in reply, her eyes already falling shut. _

_Yeah, she could sleep now._

…

Her eyes opened after a few seconds, a puff of air escaping her lips. Turning her head, she stared at the empty space.

It felt like a constant reminder. It had taken her a long time to get used to the fact that she was alone now.

She was used to sleeping alone.

But suddenly tonight, she found it difficult.

_Someday I will be angry enough at you to sleep without you, you see._

She sighed a little, her arm landing on the top of her eyes as she tried to get comfortable. But this didn't work. Well, she had been trying to sleep for _hours _now and nothing was happening.

She removed her arm of her eyes, opening them the next second. She tilted her head to the left, her eyes landing on Oliver. The couch was right next to the wall, parallel to the bed. She huffed out, not knowing what to do. Usually when she wasn't able to sleep, she coded or cooked or watched movies. Something just to kill time. Oliver and she used to do it. Watch movies at night because apparently that was the only thing amongst the 'things I do to kill my time' list that he could help her with. Most of the time, it ended up with Oliver falling asleep before her but it was fun.

Her eyes landed on the television in front of her and she moved a little to the left of the bed, to fetch the remote that was lying on the top of the mini fridge that was right next to the bed. The room wasn't really bad to be honest, it was big but it was just the idea of Oliver and her in one room that irked her.

While fetching the remote, she also managed to open the fridge and look for something. She wasn't about to have a movie night without snack. If it wasn't one am at the moment, she probably would have ordered something but eh. At least she got chocolates and soda. She then moved back, adjusting the pillow so that she could lie against it.

Pressing the red button on the remote, she skimmed through the list of movies.

"Please tell me they have Die Hard," Felicity jumped a little, her head turning towards Oliver in the next second, "You're awake?"

"Yeah," He turned, his eyes meeting Felicity's, "Couldn't sleep."

Felicity smiled lopsidedly, "Neither can I." She paused, "We are really going to screw up that meeting tomorrow, aren't we?"

Oliver shook his head, "No, we'll not. We'll be fine." He moved his hand, "Pass me a chocolate too?"

"I'm comfortable, "Felicity pouted, "Take one on your own." She continued to look through the movie list, "It's too far, Felicity." He groaned, "Come on, I'm hungry and if we're going to stay up for the entire night, we will need this."

"We are _not _going to stay up the entire night," Felicity countered, "We have a meeting tomorrow, Oliver."

"We'll be fine," Oliver replied, "Now pass me something to eat."

"Take it on your own." Felicity said and Oliver raised his eyes, "Why can't you move? Laziness and chocolates isn't the best combo, Smoak."

"It's Qu-" Felicity stopped short, her eyes widening a little before gaining her composure back, "I mean did you just call me fat?"

"Well, I'm not the one eating chocolates, am I?" Oliver grinned back and Felicity frowned before throwing the chocolate bar that she was munching on at him, "You're such an asshole."

Oliver just laughed at her reaction. And Felicity rolled her eyes before moving to the left yet again, this time to fetch both of them something.

Her lips curled up ever so slightly, this certainly was better than the awkward silence between them.

Them _talking. _

"We are watching Die Hard, aren't we?"

Idiot.

…

It was a surprise that she didn't really feel tired the next morning. She expected herself to. Considering how they had spent most of their night watching a movie and munching on snacks. She should be tired but she wasn't.

In fact, she was in a good mood. She collected the files that they needed for the meeting. Ted Kord was a douche and Felicity wouldn't let him get away this. She walked towards the dressing table on the top of which a black bag was kept. Placing the files inside it, she zipped it up. She then turned to look at herself in the mirror.

Oliver's words ricocheted in her head and she frowned a little, lines appearing on her forehead. She turned towards the right, patting her stomach. The white top she was wearing was a little fluffy but she loved it. Especially when it was accompanied by the sky blue coat she was wearing over it.

Had she gained weight?

Her eyes narrowed at her stomach, hand pressed against it. She then stood straight in front of the mirror, this time her hands landing on her sides.

She hadn't, had she?

She was busy scrutinising herself when the bathroom door opened. She didn't see it at first, focused on herself but then she realized someone was standing behind her. She could see his reflection in the mirror. Her eyes widened, her cheeks turning red as she blurted out, "Oh!"

He was standing right in front of the bathroom door, a towel wrapped around his waist. His eyebrows rose, it seemed a little bit suggestive to Felicity but she kept mum instead choosing to turn around.

And then she faced him. Because of course, she did. She was seeing his _reflection _and Oh god, now she facing him.

_Staring _at him.

Because those abs.

"Felicity?" Oliver asked and she immediately pursued her lips together, humming back as a reply. "I thought you left for breakfast?"

"I was," Felicity stated with haste, "I mean I am," She titled her head a little, the index finger of her right hand scratching her forehead, "I was just—just keeping the files." She ended, her eyes closing for a split second. She then looked at Oliver, who was smiling in amusement, "Right."

"I should go!" She declared pointing at the door. Oliver nodded his head, the smile never leaving his face. She watched him walk towards his suitcase and then immediately turned around to fetch the bag so she could leave.

She picked it up and made a beeline towards the door, not even batting an eye in Oliver's direction. She was about to open the door when she heard him call out for her and she almost groaned. She pivoted her head in his direction, "Yeah?"

He was buttoning up the blue shirt that he had adorned, "You look fine."

She frowned, "Wh-"

"I said you look fine." He enunciated the last word and Felicity's eyebrows rose before realization dawned on her.

Right. He had seen her staring at herself in the mirror, hadn't he?

"You look fine too." She replied back and then she realized what state he was in, "I mean not fine _fine. _Not that you aren't but you know," She trailed off the last word and Oliver's right eyebrow rose, "I'm going to meet you downstairs," She said in the next second after seeing his reaction.

She could hear him chuckling as she stepped out of the room.

Ah, sometimes she missed the times when she was harsh to him.

…

The meeting didn't have a specific time, until the last minute at least. Because Ted Kord happened to be a 'douchiest douche bags of all' at least that is what Felicity called him. And yes, she knew douchiest was not a word.

Ted Kord deserved it though.

He had tried to renegotiate the deal with them on the phone. But they had refused and wanted it to happen in person. Because, they didn't trust him at all.

"Mr. Queen," The douchebag greeted them, offering Oliver his hand who gave him a tight lipped smile.

"Ms. Smoak," His voice softened a little and Felicity shook his hand back, not saying a word.

Oliver and Felicity shared a look the minute they sat down on their chairs. Ted shot them a smile, "So, I take it you guys didn't agree with my decision?" He tried to laugh it off but the duo didn't react at all.

"Right," Ted sighed, "Listen, my company is facing a loss. Investors aren't willing to invest," He looked at Felicity, "It's not the company it once was before. I need this. Our company deserves it too. We are helping you-"

"What we didn't deserve Mr. Kord, was you trying to change the negotiation _behind _our backs," Felicity started, "We can't afford half a million loss either."

"We are providing you with the parts you require, Ms. Smoak. We deserve this share."

"No, you don't," Felicity took out a file, encircling something with her pen on it, "You're providing us with _one _part Mr. Kord. The ratio 70-30 is apt for it."

"One important part, Ms. Smoak. I've been in this long enough to know what is apt for what. Your product won't function without my part. If my company takes it away, there is nothing left."

"Do you think you're the only company in the market that is willing to do a deal with us?" Oliver asked, "We are one of the leading companies in the market at the moment, Mr. Kord. We are not the ones who need you. You _need _us."

"I'm the one with the part, Mr. Queen."

"Not the only one though," Felicity supplied, "I was keen to do business with you, however. After knowing about you, I did manage to look for some other companies for the same acquisition. But I trusted you because you were the employer of my friend Ray Palmer, once."

"I find that flattering Ms. Smoak," Ted didn't bat an eye, "But I am just asking for what I deserve. You're making an acquisition with me, not them."

"A 30% share means more than two million gross next year, Mr. Kord. I don't see how you don't want that. You can't afford to lose us either. Making a deal with you was a risk that I was willing to take," She pointed at herself, "I certainly won't sign a deal that lands up my company in jeopardy."

"I've made my decision, Ms. Smoak." The guy smiled in her direction.

"80-20," Oliver said, leaning his back against his chair.

"I'm sorry?"

"80-20," Oliver spoke, "That's the deal we are willing to make, Mr. Kord."

Felicity gaped. Initially it was seventy to thirty ratio, but Ted had demanded for a sixty to forty one.

Now, Oliver was offering an eighty –twenty that was less than their initial deal.

"I don't want that Mr. Queen," Ted was pretty adamant.

"That is the only deal we are willing to offer, Mr. Kord." Oliver didn't even blink. Felicity looked between the two. What if they really do lose this deal? Sure, they had other companies out there but it would take them way too much long. She wasn't ready to make a deal that would land her company in trouble but she wasn't ready to lose this deal stupidly either.

She opened her mouth to speak when she felt Oliver grab her hand under the table. She turned to face him and Oliver slowly blinked in her direction. He was telling her to trust him.

Did she?

She shot him a small grin before turning away, not saying a word.

Yeah she did.

"80-20," Oliver repeated himself, "That's the deal we are willing to make."

"That's even less than the initial deal we made, Mr. Queen."

"I know," He stated, "You should have thought that before you tried to change it on your own, Mr. Kord."

"I-" Ted paused, he knew he had choose his words wisely, "I am asking what we deserve, Mr. Queen. I know it wasn't the wisest move but I'm just asking for the apt share. My company needs help. I don't want to be the one losing it. I know what I did."

"I—"

"I've been in this business way longer than you two. Making a deal with me would work in your favour too. I have helped people make companies. I just need a helping hand this one time."

"75-25," Oliver said, after listening to him, "And endorsements for your company products from our end."

Felicity's eyebrows raised. That was a pretty smart deal actually. But knowing how stubborn Ted was, he will reject it.

It was silent for a little while and she knew he would reject the deal.

"…Can't we negotiate any further?"

"That's the final deal, Mr. Kord."

Oliver moved his thumb over Felicity's hand as they waited for him to answer. She knew he was nervous but she was also proud of him. She had been sceptic about this entire thing but he wasn't and she hoped it pays off. For his sake rather than the company this time.

"Deal." Ted smiled, offering his hand for him to shake.

Felicity heaved a sigh of relief when that happened. She looked at Oliver who had a wide smile on his face.

She wanted to ask him how and why.

But for now, she would let him have his moment.

It was his accomplishment after all.

…

"How did you know he was going to give in?" Felicity asked, taking a sip from her milkshake. Oliver shook his head, taking a bite from his burger, "Instinct."

"Instinct?" Felicity echoed, eyes widening a little, "Really?"

"Yeah," Oliver told her, pretty nonchalant. "Didn't you always say I made a good businessman, Smoak?" Felicity smiled, "Well, this is your accomplishment."

"Ours." Oliver stopped her and she frowned, "You were the one who brought this deal to us, Felicity."

"It was your instinct though."

"My instinct actually told me he would agree to 80-20 too," He told her and Felicity leaned her elbows on their table, "Then why didn't you stick to it?"

"Because he is a good man, Felicity. A good businessman. Circumstances change you." Felicity paused, lines marring her forehead as if she was in deep thought. "He wasn't always this way. He was desperate. He is a good man though."

"Right." Felicity nodded, "You were good out there."

"So were you."

Felicity smiled in response.

Yeah, they made a pretty good team.

Oliver look at his wrist watch, realizing that it was just five in the evening. They had ample of time. Their scheduled flight was of tomorrow morning. The plane had dropped them here before leaving to Moscow. It was supposed to come back tomorrow.

So yeah, they had ample of time.

"Fe—" He paused when he saw her frowning. Her elbows were still kept on the table for support, her head tilted towards the right and he knew she was deep in thought.

She was thinking about what?

"Felicity?" She nodded her head in an instant, "You want to go somewhere?" Oliver offered and she repeated, "Somewhere?"

"Yeah, it's a place Thea suggested to me. I figured we have a lot of time—" He paused, seeing her reaction. Maybe he was taking it too far. Felicity had been pretty casual with him in the past few days and he wasn't sure why but he was glad it happened.

Maybe someday she would forgive him for everything that has happened.

But maybe he was taking it too far. They were friends. And his gesture was friendly, but maybe Felicity wasn't that comfortable at the thought of it and he was okay with it—

"Okay," She nodded her head.

"Really?"

"Yeah," Felicity declared, "So what is this place you're speaking of?"

Oliver winked, "You'll see."

…

And Felicity did see.

It took them almost three hours but they had made it here. Thankfully.

Initially when they had gotten out of the diner, they didn't find any cab. Felicity made sure to remind Oliver of the shitty cab service they had in Starling as well. Heck, even Uber didn't work. Well it did, but only Share and Prime were available and Oliver refused the first one and Felicity the second one.

So, Oliver had discovered an alternative. Which was pretty clever to be honest. And way better than a cab.

They had rented a car.

Yes, Oliver had contacted the hotel and they had rented a car. Only for a few hours but it was fun. Oliver had told her having their own car at the spot where he was taking her was better than a cab.

It was.

There were at a _cliff._

Yep, they were at a cliff.

Actually, it was a hangout spot called 'The Cliffhanger' which made Felicity laugh. But it seemed like a cool place. There was a banister at the edge of the said cliff. Felicity didn't exactly realize what was so special about this place until she stepped outside.

They were people there. Loads of people. There were benches there for people to sit. Stalls were lined up at one end of it. It was like a small market.

And then Felicity realized why.

The view was simply _beautiful. _

She could practically see the entire city from there. It was night and the city was simply lit. She could see the huge towers and the small houses. Everything. It _glowed. _

"Beautiful, isn't it?" She turned her head towards Oliver who was holding two cups of coffee. He offered her one and she took it, "It really is."

"Thea suggested me this place," Oliver started, "Told me we were stupid if we visited Coast City but didn't visit this."

"We would have been," Felicity jiggled her head in agreement, "This is simply beautiful." She declared before moving back a little and sitting on the top of the hood of the car, "This is just like old times," She laughed a little, shifting a little so that she got comfortable.

And then she realized what she had said. Her eyes widened and she looked up in a second, trying to gauge Oliver's reaction and maybe even tell him, she didn't mean to say it.

Because she did _not _just say that.

Why was she this way?

Oliver however hadn't reacted. Instead, he chose to sit right beside her on the top of the car hood.

Yeah, it was just like old times.

…

**December 2011**

_Felicity sat on the top of the car hood, holding onto the cup of mint chocolate ice cream they had bought on the way here. "This is good," She mused, her eyes never leaving Oliver's, "You're a good husband, Mr. Queen."_

"_That I always have been Mrs. Queen," Oliver told her._

"_But just so you know, this is not the only way I'm celebrating my anniversary," Felicity declared, "But I like it."_

"_Geez, so much for a romantic drive away," Oliver huffed out. "No, this is pretty good." She told him, putting now the empty cup down. She then moved back, nearing herself to Oliver before placing her head on his chest, "I missed this," _

"_Me too," He pulled her closer._

"_I mean I love Conner but-"She buried her head in his chest with a groan, "It's hard." Oliver laughed. _

"_Exactly. He whines like you," Felicity looked up, "He is your son too." Oliver replied, "Just when he whines he is mine."_

"_Yes," Felicity said, separating from him and then completing laying on it, her eyes looking up at the stars. _

"_It's beautiful, isn't it?" Oliver said and she nodded, "It would be more if we weren't so tired." Felicity supplied with a laugh. _

"_We should do this more often." Felicity nodded, "This definitely beats our last anniversary. We should definitely do this more often," She stared at the stars. It was surreal. The stars shining, the night was quiet. _

_So surreal._

_They should definitely do this more often. _

"_What drive and then sex in the backseat?" Oliver smirked in her direction and Felicity moved closer to him, "Yeah. And if you're lucky enough, maybe on the hood."_

…

Oliver huffed out a puff of air as the memory hit him. She was right. He didn't even realize it. It was just like old times.

Maybe he should have thought about it before.

He looked at Felicity who had a wide smile on her face. She seemed to enjoy it.

Or maybe not.

The two of them were sitting on the top of the car hood. The night was cold, the stars looked bright, and the city looked absolutely beautiful. On the top of it, the coffee in Felicity's hands tasted real good.

"Do you believe in it?" Felicity asked him, "Believe in what?" He frowned.

"That when people die," She turned towards him, "They become stars?"

Oliver didn't say anything at first. He had never thought about it. His Grandma did tell him about it once but that was it. "I don't know," He answered honestly, "But it feels good knowing that they are somewhere out there, you know?" His voice softened as he echoed the last statement, "Somewhere."

"Yeah," Felicity whispered back, eyes never leaving the night sky, "I hope they are together." She looked at Oliver, "Dad and Conner," She elaborated.

"I hope Conner is with somebody," Oliver cracked a smile, "We both know how he can be."

"He was only whiny sometimes, okay? He was a great kid," She shook her head, "He was." Oliver ended the conversation.

And then, silence surrounded them.

Felicity finally got a chance to muse about something she had been thinking of before. It wasn't serious. But when Oliver told her that Ted Kord had changed because of circumstances, it struck a nerve.

Circumstances change people.

It just made her wonder. She knew she was overthinking like she always did. But she couldn't get this thought out of her head.

Had she changed?

Had they changed?

Were they the same people that they were before? Three years ago?

"Oliver," She started, "Today at the diner, you told me that circumstances change people. Do you believe in that?" She asked him.

"I don't know," Oliver answered honestly, "I just know that I remember what it was like being sad and angry and I'm not that anymore," He shrugged his shoulders, "I don't want to be that anymore."

She remembered being sad and angry too. She remembered the pain. Remembered the bitterness that she had inside of her for Oliver and his family.

Three years. She had bottled it inside of her. She had gotten used to it. And then, she came back to her city and suddenly, things were different.

Suddenly _she _was different.

…Was she the same person anymore?

Did she really herself going back to that anytime soon?

No.

"I guess I have changed," She murmured softly and Oliver smiled softly, "Yeah."

Had Oliver changed?

She remembered his words. Three years ago, he had let his anger take over him. Three years ago he had had turned into this man who she didn't even know. Three years later, he had been the same.

But she started to know him.

And she realized he was a lot sadder than he was angry.

_And I'm not that anymore._

And maybe, he wasn't the same person that he was before.

She shared a look with Oliver.

They both weren't.

…

After a little while Felicity had chosen to explore the small market. It had various stalls in. Like tents. It was simple and beautiful. Ranging from junk jewellery to eatables and she was actually thinking about buying something. She saw a dreamcatcher in one of the shops and a smile came on her face. Yeah, she was so buying it.

She started heading towards the said shop when she collided with someone. The momentum caused her to stumble backwards but she balanced herself in the last second. "I'm sorry," The words came out of her mouth almost instantly as she stared at the person. She had collided with a man—a big man. A buffy one. He was wearing a wife beater—seriously, who wears a wife beater in public? But it did manage to enhance his muscle. He was a _big _man with tattoos. No wonder she almost fell.

"I'm sorry," She mumbled out again and the man chose to ignore her instead, "Bitch."

Felicity eyes widened a little behind her glasses, "I'm sorry?" This time she wasn't apologizing rather questioning him.

"Stay the fuck out of my way," He grumbled out and Felicity's voice rose, "Excuse me?!"

"Do you not understand English or something?" He bit out, "I don't want to deal with this." He brushed past her, "Bitch."

Felicity opened her mouth to say something when, "What did you call her?" She whipped her head around only to find Oliver standing behind her.

"I called her a bitch," The man cocked an eyebrow in her direction, "A blind one at that. No wonder you need glasses," He spat out deliberately, this time to piss Oliver off.

"Apologize," Oliver pressed his lips together in a straight line and Felicity knew he was gnashing his teeth.

"I won't," The buffy man declared while crossing his arms and he had _tattoos. _Felicity did _not _like this guy.

"Oh, you would." Oliver laughed a little and Felicity shook her head hastily, "There's no need to!" She said, her voice high pitched.

Oliver scratched the left side of his neck with his index finger, her head leaning towards the right, "What?" He whispered in Felicity's ear..

"Have you seen his size?" Her lips forming a tight lipped smile, "You think I can't take him?" Oliver wasn't subtle this time and he was facing her properly.

"No-" Felicity started, "I mean—" She tried to look for words, "Yeah, no." She shook her head.

"Yeah, the bitch makes sense."

Felicity gritted her teeth together. She knew that the man was trying to irk the two of them and it was _working. _"Listen, you—Oliver!" She shrieked the last second when she saw Oliver punch him. The man's face moved towards the side and when he finally looked up, his eyes were full of anger, the corner of his mouth bleeding.

"Don't call her a bitch!" Oliver growled and Felicity's mouth parted open just a little. "You—" The man started and Oliver didn't give him a chance to say anything further, slamming him once again.

"Wow. I'm impressed," Felicity muttered to him and Oliver scoffed a little. _Buffy guy_, because yes Felicity was calling him that then grabbed Oliver by the collar of his shirt with one of his hands, the other one landing in his stomach. Oliver groaned a little but never the less moved his legs so that he hits him and he did. However, before it could progress further the man backtracked and Oliver was released. He loosened his tie and realized it was Felicity who had hit the guy on the head.

The man stumbled a little, holding onto his head. The blow wasn't that hard and Felicity shot him a tight smile, "That was for calling me a bitch." The man stumbled and Felicity kept the lamp she had picked up from one of the shops back on the table, "Thank you." She told the shopkeeper who nodded his head hastily.

"Felicity," She finally met Oliver's eyes before she followed his line of sight, the buffy man was holding his head but his focus now back on Oliver and Felicity.

Felicity bit her lip, looking at Oliver. The buffy guy headed towards them and Felicity shrieked a little before grabbing Oliver's hand.

They were running.

Because of course they were.

That could compete with Jason Momoa.

Yeah, no way.

Felicity held onto his hand tightly as they made their way past all the people. It sort of made Felicity angry that they were willing to watch what was happening but not help them. She turned her head a little, to see if he was following them and he was.

"He is following us, Oliver!" She huffed out and she could _feel _Oliver rolling his eyes, "You think? Why are we running then?"

"Because you couldn't take him down," Felicity shook her head, moving past two people. "I couldn't take him down?" Oliver asked her and Felicity realized they had come outside. "I wasn't the one who collided with him,"

"I didn't _see _him!" Felicity panted.

"What are those glasses for?" He asked, the two of them now heading towards their car. "What are those abs for?" Felicity countered and she saw Oliver's eyebrows rose as if he didn't expect it but she didn't take it back, "You couldn't even take him down!"

"I did! You were the one who hit him. I would have—"

"Can we just get inside the car?" Felicity cut him off, knowing they wouldn't stop and she knew the buffy man was coming after the. "Shit, I can't find them." Oliver patted his coat pocket, "Great. We are _so _dead." She smiled sarcastically, her eyes travelling around.

"Found them!" She cheered when she spotted them on the ground lying not so far away from the car. She picked them up before running back towards the car, this time shoving Oliver aside to get into the driver's seat, "Hey!" Oliver protested.

Felicity rolled her eyes, turning the key once but the car didn't pick up. "Oliver!" She shouted when it didn't happen for the second time as well, "This is a shitty car!" She told him and Oliver rolled his eyes, "This is what happens when you drive a Mini Cooper for years!"

"I have an SUV!" Felicity glared at him, "You always have to be –" She applied extra force this time and the car finally picked up.

She immediately put the car in reverse gear and pressed the accelerator, ready to get out of here. She could only catch the glimpse of the Buffy Man who had finally made it out of the market. He looked angry. "You think he is going to follow us?"

"No," Oliver answered, his eyes landing on the guy's deflated form. "Let's just drive though." And Felicity nodded.

….

She kept an eye on the rear-view mirror expecting someone to pop out any minute. "I think we lost him," Oliver answered since it had almost been half an hour and _no _one had showed up. His ex-wife heaved a sigh a relief, stopping the car at the edge of the road.

She needed a moment or two to calm down. "You okay?" Oliver asked her and Felicity faced him, "I am." She answered honestly, "It's just that it was—"

"Embarrassing?" Oliver offered, "Funny?"

And suddenly Felicity burst into laughter, "We both took him down." Her mind reeled back to the incident.

It was really funny.

She hadn't laughed this way in so long. Her laughter caused Oliver to laugh out loud too. This incident was weird but it surely was funny. "I can't believe you hit him on the head."

"I can't believe you actually punched him. _Twice."_

"Really?" Oliver questioned, "You saw my abs. You really questioned me?"

"I didn't—"Felicity shook her head, her laughter all gone, "See them." She mumbled, her eyes looking anywhere but him, her cheeks flushed.

Her lips formed a pout a she casually turned to face Oliver who was _smirking._

_Asshole. _

"Let's just go!" She chanted and ignored Oliver's laughter.

She set the car in the first gear before turning the wheel. Oliver chose to stare outside. This entire situation suddenly reminded him of the time when Felicity was wasted and he had to be the one to drive her around. A huffed laugh escaped his lips as he recalled that.

"What are you laughing about?" Felicity asked him, "Nothing. It's just that, this reminds me of the time you were drunk." He laughed.

"I thought you said nothing happened that day!"

"Oh, you already know what happened," Oliver told her, "You made me _sing." _

"I did what now?"

"Yeah," Oliver's left cheek dimple was visible, "I told you what happened, didn't I? It was a fun night."

"Speak for yourself," Felicity muttered, "I don't even remember much of it. I am just glad nothing major happened."

"Yeah, nothing major—happened." He uttered the last word softly, realizing that a _lot _of major things happened that night. The aftermath that happened at their house.

Yeah, maybe not so much fun.

_I just wanted to see him._

_I love you._

Should he ask her? They were as close as they could get. They have talked about this before but she had never told him the reason behind it. He never got a chance to fully confront her about it. Or he had, but she had never opened up completely about it.

He looked at Felicity who turned on the radio, sharing one look with Oliver as if expecting him to pass a comment any moment.

He didn't want to ruin this. It had been so long since they had been this way. So long.

He didn't get a chance to dwell on it further because Felicity pressed brake, causing the car to stop with a jerk. He moved forward, his eyes widening, "Felicity?!"

"I—" She was stuttering, her eyes didn't as big as they could. She was looking at the wheel in disbelief and then looked at him. She was pale, a layer of sweat forming on her forehead.

"Felicity?" Oliver's voice softened immediately. He didn't know what happened but she didn't look fine. What made her stop in the middle of the road? "What happened?" His left hand landed on her cheek and she was cold. Oliver swore under his breath when she didn't mumble a thing, unbuckling the belt. He looked around for a second, thankfully they weren't in the middle of the road but they were on the left side of it. Not that Oliver gave a fuck, he just hoped nobody honked at them to move.

"Felicity?" He completely turned himself towards her, "What's wrong?"

She was hesitant and Oliver nodded ever so slowly, trying to encourage her to speak. "Bike…car…accident," She mumbled, closing her eyes.

And that is when it dawned on Oliver what this was about.

…

Felicity hadn't realized what had happened. It happened almost all of a sudden. She was driving normally when two bikes scraped right past them.

Just like _that _night.

This was how it started, right? This has never happened to her before. But when those bikes zoomed past them, suddenly that night flashed in front of her eyes.

_The car moving haphazardly, she desperately trying to get it back in control. Conner bursting into tears as Felicity threw herself over him to prevent him from getting hurt. She desperately trying to reach for him but not finding him. _

_Panic changing into stark terror the next second._

She could still feel it. The terror. Her stomach dropped immediately and she knew she couldn't let it happen again. The feeling was back. The feeling of dread, full of fear—it was back. She felt sick. She kept her eyes closed, away from reality.

No, not again.

"You're okay," She heard Oliver murmur and she closed her eyes, trying to focus on that. "You're okay." He repeated and she felt his hand caress her cheek but she didn't open her eyes.

Not until this reality went away. Not until this feeling went away.

"We're okay," He kept repeating and Felicity felt herself calming down, "Yeah, that's right. Take deep breaths, okay? Slowly."

And Felicity followed suit. After a couple of minutes, she finally calmed down and opened her eyes. She saw Oliver sighing in relief when she did so.

"You're okay," He mumbled one last time. "Here, have a sip." He shoved the bottle of water they had bought from the diner in her direction. Felicity coughed a little, taking the bottle from him and drinking from it. When she was finished, she gave the bottle back to him and Oliver capped it before throwing it in the back.

"I'm sorry," She mumbled, finally gaining some momentum back, "I didn't mean to." Her eyes lowered, "This has never happened before. Not since, I started driving again."

"It's okay," Oliver caressed her face one last time and Felicity smiled slowly. "Yeah," She mumbled.

She stared at the steering wheel. The feeling of dread was there but not that prominent. She felt calmer. She remembered how she had been before when she even hated the thought of cars. When she had started driving, there always had been this nagging fear that someday she would end up crashing the car just like she did that day.

It had always been in the back of her mind.

And that fear did take over her today. But she wasn't about to let this happen again.

She had admitted it to herself that she couldn't keep living with Conner's memories because it was _painful. _

So was this.

And she didn't want to live this guilt anymore.

It hurt.

Because yes this guilt would remain forever, but she wouldn't let it affect her.

And she didn't want to deal with this.

She took a deep breath. Yeah, she was ready for this too.

Because, the reality was that they were okay. That she wasn't going to let anything happen to Oliver or to her.

Because whatever happened with Conner was just an accident and it won't happen again.

Because if she can get over Conner's death, she can get over this.

"Come on," Oliver started, "I'll drive. You come and sit here—"

"No!" Felicity protested and Oliver stopped, "What?"

"I'll drive." She mumbled and his eyebrow rose, "You sure?"

Was she?

She got over Conner, didn't she? She can get over this too. Yes, she can.

"I'm sure."

Yeah, she wasn't going to falter.

Not this time.

…

The two of them had headed straight to the hotel, choosing to handover the car the next morning. They didn't talk much while having dinner either. It wasn't until night did Oliver finally have the courage to talk about it.

The two of them were lying rather than sleeping. Knowing how the previous night went, it wasn't much of a shocker that they weren't able to fall asleep despite the hectic day the two of them. Only one lamp was lit, it was pretty dim and Felicity shifted her head towards the left, her eyes landing on Oliver.

He was staring at the ceiling, in his own thoughts and Felicity was about to close her eyes again, her umpteenth try to fall asleep again when Oliver stopped her, "Felicity?"

"Yeah?" She asked and Oliver moved his head sideways. "Do you think about that night a lot?"

Felicity was quiet at first, "Sometimes." She murmured, "Don't you?"

Oliver turned completely towards her, "Sometimes." He repeated her answer, "I don't like to." His laugh was hollow.

"You never really," Felicity started, "talk about it. I mean that night. What happened?" She placed her hand underneath her cheek, "I mean—"

"It was probably one of the worst days of my life."

…

**March 2012**

_Oliver rushed inside the hospital, heading straight for the reception table, "Felicity Queen and Conner Queen?" He panted, looking at the receptionist who was entertaining some other person. She nodded in his direction but didn't answer him which aggravated Oliver, "Felicity Queen and Conner Queen?!" He asked again, this time louder._

"_Sir, will you just calm down—" She said, looking through the computer records._

"_No, I will not calm down! Just tell me where my family is!" The receptionist finally spoke two rooms where Conner and Felicity were and he made a mad rush towards it. _

_He didn't know what to do. He was panicking, he knew. He was panting, a layer of sweat of on his forehead—God dammit, what was happening?!_

_He reached the room just in time to see the doctor entering the it, "That's—" He was stuttering, his eyes wide, "That's my family in there. My—my wife," He told the doctor who shot him a wry smile, "Don't worry, we're trying our best."_

"_And my son?" He stopped him again, "What about him?"_

"_He's going to be alright too." In all honesty, the grimace on his face should have warned him about the impending doom._

"_They are going to make it, right?" He mumbled, his eyes shifting towards the door but he couldn't see Felicity, "Right?"_

"_We are trying our best, Mr. Queen."_

_The response didn't make him happy. His stomach dropped, "Just do whatever it takes. I'm willing to give you whatever amount you want. Just save...them, please." _

_The doctor nodded, leaving him alone and he finally looked through the door only to find Felicity on the hospital bed, her head covered with blood. He moved a little back, trying to gain his composure before he caught a glimpse of his son who was in the room right adjacent to Felicity. Doctors were towering over him, all he could see was his tiny feet._

_He was so small. _

_He didn't deserve this._

_He was just one._

_Something akin to a whimper escaped his lips as he stumbled backwards, not knowing what to do. He felt sick. He kept breathing deeply, his back landed against the wall and he found himself sitting down._

_He pressed the palm of his hands against his eyes, this was all unbelievable. He really didn't know what he would if anything happened to any of them._

_He won't be able to survive._

_Not without them._

…

Felicity eyes filled with tears but she didn't let them drop, she sniffed a little, "Why don't you ever talk about it?"

"Same reason why you never talk about it."

It was painful, wasn't it? Recalling those harsh memories.

"It doesn't hurt you know," She whispered, "Not as much as it did before." Oliver smiled genuinely. He didn't really realize how they had reached this stage, but he agreed with her.

It didn't hurt. Not as much as it did before.

The pain was still there and he figured it always will be. But it wasn't as prominent as before. It just didn't rip his heart out like it did before.

Guess, they have come to accept a lot of things.

Both of them.

"Is that the reason why you suddenly are nice to me?" He asked her, his eyebrow raised and Felicity shook her head, she already knew the answer to this question and she wasn't really afraid to admit it.

"I guess I realized I wasn't the only one who got hurt in this relationship," Felicity stage whispered, "How come you never hated me for it?"

Oliver didn't answer her instantly.

Had there been a time that he hated her?

_Yes._

"I did," Oliver answered, "There as a time I hated you so much. I was angry. I think that might be the first time I ever hated you."

…

**May 2012**

_There was a small part of him that hadn't believed this was true._

_That all the things that he had encountered in the past few days weren't true. _

_His Felicity loved him, right? She wouldn't cheat on him? She can't. But he remembered everything. He knew everything._

_How could he deny the reality?_

_It was true. _

_She had left with him. Left with him to make a life in Central City._

_Had left him behind. _

_His right hand shoved the gear stick of his car, his foot pressing the accelerator causing the car to roar out loudly. His hands tightened on the steering wheel, his vision blurry but he didn't care._

_He didn't care._

_His eyes kept flickering towards his hand which had no wedding ring on it. The same wedding ring that Felicity had chosen for him, the wedding ring that he never took off._

_It was gone. _

_He had thrown it away somewhere in their house and he didn't want to go back there. He bought that place for her._

_For his entire family._

_And suddenly, this realization dawned on him that his entire family was gone. He remembered his grandma's words to him that how this world was a big place and it takes time but someday, you'll make a world for yourself in it._

_He made that world for himself._

_And that world of his was destroyed now. _

_It was like a reel. Like a film which was on repeat. He had been trying to ignore it ever since he woke up but he couldn't. _

_He just couldn't._

_Felicity didn't deserve this. She left with her new lover and he was all alone. _

_He knew sleeping with someone else was wrong but he couldn't help but think about all the past events where she caused him pain._

_She deserved to embrace the same sort of pain, didn't she?_

_Then why did he feel guilty about it?_

_She left him and here he was, thinking of her. He bets that at this very moment she must be with Ray. Maybe they were whispering I love you to one another, or planning to build a world of their own. Kissing each other, holding each other –_

_We can try, can't we?_

_So tomorrow is final, right? We don't have to tell Oliver about this._

_You sure...she is not, looking for comfort somewhere else?_

_I just met him on the way. _

_I'm her best friend._

_This place is great but I think we need a new start. Just for a little while away from all of this._

_Away from what? Him? Conner?_

_I'm sorry for your loss, Mr. Queen._

_And suddenly, he moved his steering to the right, hitting the brakes the next moment. He parked near the very edge of the footpath. He didn't even realize that he had done that. He had just hit the brakes impulsively in the middle of the traffic. _

_Would it matter if he hadn't done this?_

_Did he care if he died?_

_No, in that moment. He didn't._

"_Just a little while away from all of this."_

"_I'm sorry. We weren't able to save your son, Mr. Queen."_

_His hands on the steering wheel shivered. The tears that he had been controlling for so long fell down his cheeks, his head leaned down. _

_He didn't know what to do._

_He really didn't._

_His breath became heavy, deep breaths escaping his lips but the tears didn't stop. They just didn't stop. _

_His hands landed in his hair to cradle his head as if that will make all these thoughts vanish._

_As if it could change the reality._

_That his son wasn't dead._

_That his wife hadn't left him for someone else._

_And a growl full of agony escaped his lips, his right hand slamming the steering wheel in frustration._

_The pain was too much. He didn't know if he could bear it. He couldn't bear this. It felt like someone had ripped his heart out and someone had._

_He hated her._

_He hated her for walking into his life and then walking away just like that._

_He hated her for cheating on him and abandoning him and their child just like that. _

_And he hated himself for letting that happen._

_For giving her reasons to choose Ray over him._

_For sleeping with someone else._

_He would try and change it all if he could._

_But he couldn't, could he?_

_So he sobbed. His hands covered his eyes, his body shook and he didn't stop. Because that was the only way to let this pain out. And it didn't help him. It couldn't help him. Because he already had lost the people that meant the most to him._

_And there was no coming back from this. The stark realization that how his life is going to be from here on made him sob harder. A growl escaped his lips yet again, his voice hoarse and broken. _

_He didn't know how he was going to go on from here._

_Without his son._

_Without his wife._

_His world that he had once made had crumbled brutally and he didn't know what to do._

_What once was a beautiful family is now a broken one._

_And that reality made Oliver want to cry all over again._

_But it won't change anything, would it?_

_Because that is what they were now._

_Broken._

_At least, he was._

…

"I know," Felicity whispered, running a hand through her hair. It hurt but she knew he hated for it, it was clear when she came back here, "How come you never hated me for pushing you away? For making you question this relationship in the first place?"

"I never hated you for it, Felicity." Oliver was clear about this, "We were both grieving. You weren't doing this deliberately. It was the pain, the anger. My actions—"

"Were rooted cause of the same emotions."

Oliver pursued his lips together.

"We both mistakes though. Both of us."

_You both have made mistakes. Some bigger than others. But you both have._

…

**October 2012**

_Felicity swiped the imaginary dust of her dress as she waited for the elevator door to open. This was the start of her new life, a new beginning without Oliver._

_She was ready for it, wasn't she?_

_The door opened and she stepped out, a grin on her face. She was holding the files in her hand, she was applying for the job of the head of the Science department in this company. She knew she was capable enough for it and she figured this could be the first step towards moving on. _

_She opened the door, ready to greet the people in there when she heard a whisper echo and she realized it was the CEO's secretary, "Wasn't she the one who married Oliver Queen for money and then left him?"_

_Felicity stiffened all of a sudden. She closed her eyes momentarily as she tried to gain her composure back. Tears welled up in her eyes but she refused to let them fall._

_It took her years to build her reputation. _

_But she did it before and she could do it again._

_Isn't this why she was doing this?_

_To build a life without Oliver Queen._

_From the scratch._

_Like he never existed in her life._

_And he never will._

…

Felicity closed her eyes, the tears finally falling. She remembered those harsh times. When she had to build her reputation from the scratch, when she had no friends in this city, when she had to hear left and right about how _she _was the one who screwed up.

She hadn't forgotten about it.

But she knew it was time to.

_I don't want to be that anymore._

The truth was, that they weren't the people that they were before. That they both were angry, they both were sad.

She also remembered Oliver trying. Him trying to fix all the mistakes he ever made. Trying to establish something back between the two of them. Trying to find a way out.

They both were different people now.

They had _changed._

Which is probably why it was easy to do this.

"I forgive you," She murmured, "I do."

Oliver felt tears well up in his eyes. He took a deep breath, leaning his head against the arm rest of the couch.

He felt relief. He knew they were a lot of things that he needed to make up for. There always had been this burden inside of him. Something that he had wanted to get rid of for so long.

He got up and Felicity expected him to get up but all he did was sit on the couch, his elbows on his knees, his hands holding his head.

"You need to realize," Felicity started when she didn't receive any response, "That whatever happened is in the past. We are not the same people anymore are we, Oliver?"

Oliver looked up, his eyes glassy but there was something akin to a smile on his face, "Well,"

Felicity got up too, holding on tightly to the pillow that was kept beside her, "I really hope you can forgive me too," Her voice was small, "I made a lot of mistakes too, Oliver."

And they had. She had always known that she had made mistakes too. But it took her a long while to realise the impact they must have left on Oliver. She played with her fingers, a sheer parody of Oliver's nervous habit.

She didn't wipe the tears on her face, she knew the new ones would replace them anyway. She took a deep breath.

…

**April 2012**

"_Just stop it, okay!" Felicity raised her hands in the air, "I'm sick and tired of everyone—" She looked for the words, "looking after me like I'm a child!" _

"_They are just trying to help you, okay?" Oliver's voice was soft. He moved his hands, trying to reach for her but she backed away, "They can't." She murmured, affirmatively. _

"_You won't know until you let us try! Let me help you!" _

"_Nobody can help me," She shook her head rapidly, "Nobody." She was shivering, "I just need to be alone."_

"_Dammit, Felicity!" Oliver roared and Felicity cowered a little in fear, "Let me help you, sweetheart. We are in this together, okay? Together." He nodded at her, trying to get closer to her._

"_No!" Felicity didn't listen, "I'm sorry, Oliver." She was crying, "But I'm alone in this one." She told him, "I was the one there that night, not you."_

"_He was my son too!"_

"_No, you don't get it." She shook her head repeatedly, "You don't get it. I don't deserve the love. You don't get it." She was mumbling and before Oliver could do anything, she pushed him away and rushed out of the room._

_Oliver groaned, watching her leave. His knees buckled and he sat on his bed, holding his head in his hands. He let out a helpless whimper. _

_He didn't know how to deal with this. _

_He couldn't even be there for her. Isn't that the entire point of marriage? To be with one another through the good and the bad times._

_For better or worse._

_So, what were they doing?_

_He bit his lip which was wobbling. God, he felt like a little kid again._

_He had already lost his child and he knew he was close to losing his wife too._

_His marriage was falling apart._

_And he didn't know what to do._

…

Oliver used the thumb of his right hand to wipe a tear escaping, "I did leave for a little, didn't I? I got the time I needed."

"No, you didn't," Felicity knew it. She could read him like a book. It wasn't until the conversation that they had did she realize that she was the one behind it, "You don't share your feelings with anyone because you know what happened with me. I'm the reason behind it." She shrugged her shoulders when Oliver looked up, who looked away with a smile, "You were also the one who made me talk about it though."

"Yeah," Felicity turned her head towards the left, a knowing grin on her face, "I'll like to take some credit for that."

Her laughter died down and she bit her lip, looking down at her bed. She stretched her cheeks with her hands. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes and leaned against the headboard of her bed.

Is this what it felt like?

Closure?

She didn't know what it was, but somehow she felt lighter. Getting this off her chest. She had been thinking about this for so long.

The guilt had clawed inside of her. The fact that he was suffering because of her. The guilt, the bitterness it was gone or at least it will be. This was a start.

And she was ready for this.

Because, whatever experiences they had, had changed them. For the better that is.

They were different people now.

So, this was them _talking._

"I really am sorry, Oliver."

"I know."

Did it mean that she was ready for this? To take this to another level?

Was there another level?

Did she want it to happen?

"Can I—"Felicity was brought back to reality by Oliver who had positioned himself right opposite to her, "Can I ask you something?" His voice wavered, he was afraid to know the answer to this question but he wanted to know.

He really did.

He wanted to know why. He knew that the situation they were left in was tough. He knew what their separation had done to both of them. What losing their child had done to both of them. Their will to live was gone. However, he never had the courage to do it. And he never would have.

She did.

Why?

"What made you," He started, "try to commit suicide?" He ended and he could feel Felicity stiffen. "Do we have to talk about this?" She looked anywhere but at him.

It wasn't that it was uncomfortable. Not right now. She was ashamed. It was a moment of weakness where she let that feeling takeover her. She would never forget the worried faces of her friends and family, it was after this incident did she finally decide that it was time to move on. Her mom had to come and put some sense into her though but after this point, she had focused all her attention at her work. Because that was the only way she could stop thinking about them.

"Remember how you said miscommunication leads to misunderstandings?" Felicity's mouth parted open a little, he remembered their conversation, "Right." She said slowly.

"Well, this is me," He slowly placed his hand over hers and tightened his hold on it, a part of him afraid that she will push him away but she didn't, "trying to communicate."

Guess they really had their guards down tonight.

She shot him a wry smile.

….

**September 2012**

_Felicity sat on her bed, her knees pulled up against her chest. Her face had tear tracks, her eyes were puffy. It had been a couple of days since she had been back and her mind kept drifting towards Oliver and Conner._

_Her family._

_She didn't even realize how it happened. How everything had changed oh so suddenly. One moment they were this happy family and the next moment everything was ripped away from her._

_Her son had died._

_Her baby._

_He was only one. He didn't even get to see the world. His last word was her name. He called out for her and she wasn't able to do anything. Nothing to save him. _

_She had been the one to survive not her one year old. Parents weren't supposed to outlive their children. She did._

_Oliver did._

_She had been aware of it. Every time she had pushed him away, she had been aware of the fact that their marriage was falling apart._

_But she had let the guilt consume her. She had this void inside of her. This hollowness that made itself known daily. She missed her son so much. He was supposed to be a mommy's boy who would whine when she would embarrass him in front of his first girlfriend. Was supposed to go to school. Was supposed to see the world._

_He was just one._

_But then she had tried to fight it. Because she had realized that she didn't want to be without Oliver. She couldn't survive without him._

_Things became better. The pain was still there but she knew that Oliver and she would get through it together._

_Until he destroyed it all._

_She whimpered, her hands clenching the bedsheet tightly._

_What did she ever do to deserve this?_

_Every time she closed her eyes, rapid flashes occurred in front of her eyes. From the night of the accident to the night where he left her._

_He left her._

_He cheated on her._

_She didn't know how to get rid of it. The memories that haunted her. _

_She envisioned him with her and it made her sick. How could he do this to her? She stared at the wedding ring, she didn't have the guts to remove it yet._

_Pathetic, wasn't it?_

_That is what she was pathetic._

_There were mornings that she didn't want to wake up._

_It was like a well. A dark well from where there was no escape. Every day she found herself deeper inside of it. There was just no escape from it._

_Tears started falling from her eyes on her own. She didn't know what to do. _

"_You were after my money, weren't you?"_

"_You took my son away."_

"_I wished it was you who had died that night."_

_A sob escaped her lips, the memory was still fresh in her head. She clutched her hair, not knowing how to get rid of this._

_How was she supposed to survive this?_

_There was no Felicity Smoak without her family. What did she have left? _

_Nothing._

_She couldn't be with Oliver._

_She couldn't be with Conner._

_Her head hurt, she didn't know what to do or to think. _

_She just knew she had lost her family._

_And she was the one who did it._

_She just wanted to be with them. She just wanted to be happy again. To get rid of this hollowness. She just wanted to live her life again._

_Did she deserve to live this life though?_

_Her eyes landed on the sleeping pill that her doctor had prescribed back in Starling City. She let go of her head before reaching for the bottle. Her hand was trembling, her mind felt blank for that one second._

_She didn't think about her mom or her friends in that moment. She couldn't. Her thoughts were filled with Conner and Oliver._

_This was the way to get rid of the pain, right?_

_The only way to see him again._

_She can be with him again. _

_She can finally be a peace. _

_The only way to get rid of the guilt._

_The only way to be with him again._

_She frantically reached for the bottle of water lying on the side table._

_This was it, right?_

_Oliver and Conner were her life._

_What was the point of living it without them?_

…

"It just happened," Felicity closed her eyes, remembering it. Her voice became heavy, "Ray saved me. I knew I needed to get my life together after that." She waited for a response but when she didn't get one, she finally lifted her face, looking at him, "Oliver?"

Oliver sighed. He knew he wouldn't like the answer. He placed his right hand on her cheek, lines appearing on his forehead. He was close to crying and Felicity leaned her head against his hand, "I'm okay," She whispered through her tears, a small smile on her face.

"I want you to know that I never meant anything. That I never wanted you to feel that way. I never would have cheated—"

"I know," She nodded knowingly.

And she did. Whatever that had happened, it was in the past. They both had changed. Losing each other had made them the worst versions of themselves.

And now, they weren't those people anymore.

"God, Felicity," He huffed out and before Felicity could react, he had arms around her. "Whoa," Felicity mumbled in surprise, her hands landing on Oliver's back.

"I'm just really sorry for everything." He muttered and Felicity closed her eyes, "So am I."

Oliver hugged her tightly. He didn't know how he would have survived had something happened to her. He couldn't even fathom the thought of it. He would have lost himself.

There is no Oliver Queen without them.

But she was here, in his arms.

She was safe.

"Tell me, you would never—"

"_Never."_ She buried her face in his neck.

"It makes you wonder doesn't it," He echoed a thought that had been plaguing his mind since forever. Felicity frowned, pulling away, "What?"

"What kind of a couple we really were if we couldn't really get through these odds together." He told her, his voice hoarse.

"Well, we weren't together then," She sniffed, wiping away the tear marks, "I mean isn't that the entire point of marriage. That we get through the hard times because we're together. Not in spite of it."

They didn't try and deal with this together.

First it was Felicity, then it was Oliver.

But were they the same people anymore?

_No._

They had grown.

They had learnt.

And somehow, it gave Oliver hope.

For the first time in a long while, he let his heart talk. It had always been a battle between his heart and his mind for him.

And today, he let the former talk.

"Do you think," He paused, "There's hope for us?" He waited with bated breath for her response, "Do you believe in us?" A small part of him reprimanding himself for asking this question.

_Believe in each other again._

Felicity didn't think much before speaking, "I do." Her mouth parted open, eyes closing for a split second.

She believed they had changed.

She believed in _them._

How come had they let their guards down tonight?

"Felicity," Oliver let out his signature huffed chuckle, "I—" He cupped her cheek. His expression wasn't full of guilt or melancholy this time.

It was hopeful.

And it did something to Felicity. She had been trying to deny this feeling for so long. To just shrug it off but should she?

He thumb caressed her cheek and she just looked at him. Her eyes were moist from the tears she had previously shed, his were too but they weren't reflecting their pain anymore. The glimmer in his eyes depicted hope.

Hope for them.

He leaned forward unconsciously, his eyes flickering over to her lips for a second. He was staring at her intensely, expecting her to pull away, expecting her to make a move. Felicity's breath hitched for a second, a silent 'oh' dying down her throat, her lips parted a little. She lifted her head slowly, eyes never leaving his, wanting to meet him halfway—

Oliver's phone rang.

And just like that the moment was broken. The two of the pulled away, Felicity's eyes widening as she realized what was about to happen. Oliver closed his eyes in despair before getting up and Felicity turned away, "Frack," She whispered under her breath.

What was about to happen?

Oliver reached for his suit jacket, taking the phone out of it. The ringing died before he could pick it up. He slid his thumb over the screen wanting to see who it had been.

Laurel.

_Fuck._

He had completely forgotten about her.

"I really need to take this one," He told Felicity who nodded, "It's alright!" Her voice was high pitched, "I'm going to go to sleep."

Oliver wanted to say something, but nodded the last minute, "Yeah okay."

He moved past the bed and headed towards the balcony.

He really needed to sort this out.

…

He had _forgotten _about Laurel.

These past two days with Felicity had been so quick and so beautiful. He had been pretty sceptic about the whole room sharing thing but it had actually worked in his favour.

He can't believe that talked. That they had finally cleared things out.

That—his huffed out a laugh, turning his towards the glass door so that he could see Felicity. Her eyes were closed and she was hugging a pillow while sleeping. She was wearing her 'creepy dolls' pyjamas and he just kept staring at her.

He had admitted it to himself.

All this while, he had tried to supress these feelings he had for Felicity because he thought that she deserved better. He had tried to ignore these feelings for so long.

The truth was they never went away.

He had always been in love with her.

And today, he admitted it to himself because _she _believed in him. She believed in them.

That was all he needed to know.

His psychiatrist's words ricocheted in his head.

_To believe in each other again._

And she did.

God dammit, he just couldn't stop smiling.

If she was by his side, he was willing to do anything.

He loved her _so _much.

He looked at his phone as he finally made up his mind. He couldn't keep doing this. He just can't. He nodded his head, pursuing his lips together.

He called her back, mentally preparing himself to start explaining but when she didn't pick up and it went to the voicemail instead.

He figured it was better this way.

"Laurel, I—" He paused, struggling for words, "We need to talk." He pinched the bridge of his nose, "About us. I think we—" He placed his hand on the banister, "both know what this is about. I'll drop by at your house tomorrow," He said, "Good night."

He ended the call followed by sliding the glass door so that he can enter the room again.

He let out a sigh.

This was it, wasn't it?

_She _was it.

He sat on the bed, a little away from Felicity. He knew he wasn't going to get much sleep tonight. He couldn't stop staring at her.

She looked so peaceful. There was a small smile on her face and he remembered thinking about how dreams were far more beautiful and peaceful than this reality.

Reality didn't seem that bad anymore either.

He hesitatingly reached for hand. He knew he shouldn't do this considering she was asleep but he wanted to.

Tonight he wanted to feel that she was beside him.

He couldn't believe how close he had been to losing her. He really didn't know what he would have done if anything had happened to her.

He wouldn't have been able to bear another loss.

He locked their fingers together, this touch somehow reassured him that she wasn't going anywhere. That she was safe.

That tonight was real.

He recalled their last moment as he leaned his head against the headboard. He was somehow glad they didn't kiss. He needed to break up with Laurel first.

And they needed to start afresh.

Because she believed in them.

And he loved her.

He raised their joined hands and slowly dropped a kiss on the top of hers. He wasn't letting go of this.

Not anytime soon.

_Believe in each other again._

He grinned to himself.

_They did._

…

Laurel Lance had been friends with Oliver Queen since forever.

She had been in love with Oliver Queen since forever.

She had created this world for herself. Where it was Ollie and her. She knew he cheated on her, but she hoped he would change.

She hoped he would change for her.

But he didn't.

Instead, _Felicity _happened.

She was just a mere IT girl. She never considered her a threat to begin with. She knew she wasn't Oliver's type but then things started to change.

_He _started to change.

And Laurel realized maybe this perfect world of theirs wasn't so perfect after all.

He broke up with her and it took her a long time to get over it. Actually, she never really got over him. She just tried to.

Because she figured Felicity was it for Oliver.

She had watched the two of them. They belonged together. Nobody had ever been able to make Ollie smile the way she did. He had never loved her this way.

She already knew.

Felicity's Oliver was way different than her Ollie.

And she had accepted the truth and had stepped aside.

It was painful. Watching the two of them from the side lines. Her heart broke every time she realized how different he was with Felicity then he was with her.

It made her wonder if he ever loved her.

Years went by, they had Conner. She had already moved on with someone and it was good. Everything was good. He was happy with his family and she had moved on.

Until it happened.

It was all so sudden. She had never seen Oliver this way. He was _devastated. _So was Felicity and she had tried her best to be there for the both of them.

But then they found out Felicity cheated and she had a hard time believing it but she did and she hated it.

How could Felicity not see this man's worth? It made her question everything but she chose to remain quiet about it in front of Oliver. The mere mention of her name made his sad rather than angry.

She hated how Felicity still affected him despite what she had done to him.

And then, almost two years later she decided to give it a try. She had multiple boyfriends ever since him but no one lasted long enough.

Even Tommy tried to ask her out once but she said no. She loved him, like a friend. He had always been really supportive of her and she was aware of his feelings for her, she just didn't reciprocate them.

And then she asked Oliver out.

She didn't expect him to say yes but he did. And they went out.

Their relationship was rocky. Oliver still hated the mere mention of Felicity's name, she never really got to see the place that Oliver had bought for Felicity, her father didn't dislike him anymore but he wasn't fond of their relationship.

They were getting there.

They got engaged.

Everything seemed good.

Until _she _came back.

It made her angry. How easily she had destroyed her perfect world once and now that she was trying to live once again, she was back.

That was the night she had told herself that she wouldn't let Oliver slip through her fingers. Not again.

He was hers. He proposed to her. He was about to marry her.

But she saw it. She knew she was losing him and she didn't want to accept it. Every time she looked at her engagement ring to reassure herself.

When he didn't show at her house on Valentine's Day that was the first time she downed an entire bottle of alcohol.

Alcohol and antidepressants made her forget about it. Relieved her from the pain. She didn't want to think about Oliver with Felicity.

No, he was hers.

She had told Tommy of this and he had tried to stop her but he couldn't.

And then, the truth came out and she felt sorry for Felicity, she really did but she couldn't help it. A small part of her was sad that it was different then what they thought it was.

She had seen the effect Felicity had on Oliver before and now, that he knew it was his fault?

She lost count of how many drinks she had that night.

Oliver didn't even care. He spent the nights at his house. She didn't even know where it was.

It broke her heart. She knew she didn't deserve this but she couldn't let him go.

He was her _fiancé. _She loved him.

And so, she continued to find some sort of bliss. The booze helped a lot. Things had started to become bearable.

Oliver had reassured her once or twice but it didn't work. She knew they were falling apart. He didn't smile much. He didn't pay attention to her. She doesn't even remember the last time they had slept together.

They were falling apart.

All because of _Felicity._

"She stole my life," She told the bartender, her eyes red. "He was mine," She pointed at herself, "And then she took him away." She raised her hand in the air, "Took him away."

"Laurel!"

She pivoted her direction towards the source of the voice, "Tommy!" She grinned goofily, trying to get up and reach him. She stumbled and Tommy had to catch hold of her, "Tommy." She repeated his name, titling her head to look at him.

"Laurel, this is the fifth time this is happening. You need help," He told her, his hands tightening around her, "I can't do this every time."

Laurel frowned, "You didn't listen to him, Tommy!" She tried to explain herself, "Here!" She raised her finger in the air, telling him to wait, "Listen to this voicemail."

Tommy didn't say a word while hearing it. His face morphed into one of pain afterwards. He knew this was happening sooner or later.

_Moth to a flame._

It made him happy. Both of their happiness lied with one another, but his heart broke for Laurel.

"Laurel."

"Come join me!" She cheered happily, raising a glass in the air which he took away from her. "We should go." He placed a couple of bucks on the bar, nodding at the bartender, "Thanks Dave,"

"Just take care of her." He said and Tommy nodded.

"Come on, Laurel," He wrapped an arm around her shoulder, "We need to go."

"But—but I wanna have—"

"No."

The guy who was sitting beside Laurel snorted and it made her angry, "What is wrong with you?!"

The man was caught off guard and raised his hands in surrender, "I don't—"

"Laurel!" Tommy snapped, moving her away from the man, "I'm sorry. She's just—"

"It's okay, man. Relationships can be hard." He didn't hear the entire conversation but the snippets from the same told him it was a relationship problem.

This made Laurel furious. He didn't know anything, "Who are you to say anything about my relationship?!" She almost yelled, "We are okay."

"Laurel, calm down okay—"

"No! He doesn't get it." She pushed Tommy away and the latter sighed, "Wait," She paused, taking out something from her bag, "You see this?" She waved the ring in his direction, "I'm marrying Oliver Queen. We are engaged. We are _okay_!"

"Laurel!" Tommy snapped one last time, this time holding her by her waist and pulling her away. "Stop it!" He yelled this time and Laurel stopped talking and turned her face towards him. On receiving no response from her Tommy breathed a sigh of relief, "I'm sorry man, she is just a little—"

"No worries." The man smiled and Tommy nodded before helping Laurel out of the club.

The man watched them leave before taking out a cell phone. He dialled a number and waited for the person on the other side to pick up.

At first, he thought it was just some normal feud between the couple. A news, which didn't have much potential to be honest. He was a little disappointed in himself but then again, hitting this news was pure luck.

But then, Laurel Lance, was it?

She provided him with a _big _news.

"Hey," He greeted the person on the other end, "Guess who finally got a big scoop?"

Oh, this was going be all over the news. Their channel will be the first one to release it.

Laurel Lance and Oliver Queen were engaged.

And no one knew about it.

_Until now._

**I just want to remind people that Felicity does NOT know that Laurel and Oliver are engaged.**

**Hope you guys liked the chapter! They finally found each other! **

**IMPORTANT :**

**I've altered the prologue slightly. Previous it was a week away from their marriage but I've altered it a little so that it fits the story better. I hope you guys understand. Sometimes, you don't know what direction a story might take. It will happen, just the timeline is a little different.**

**I have tried to create a parallel with S2 final episodes so if you spot it, kudos to you! **

**Also, my college is about to start so sticking to the weekly thing can be a little hard. But don't you worry! I will update as much as I can. I'll give my best because you all deserve it.**

**Thank you for reading! Drop me a review or a PM if you want to!**

**Or say hi to me on Twitter : Srishti369**

**Seeya next time! X**

**Srishti.**


	29. Chapter Twenty Five : Setback

**Hi guys! How are you? **

**Thank you for the overwhelming response to the last chapter and for so much of love. I'm glad you liked the chapter.**

**Thank you so much. **

**Not beated. If you spot the errors, tell it to me or just ignore, thank you. **

**Without further ado, here is the next chapter.**

**Word Count : 11220**

**Disclaimer : I don't anything that seems familiar. **

"_**Two Steps Forward."**_

_** "One Step Back." **_

_**(Is still one step forward)**_

** Chapter Twenty Five : Setback **

The sun was shining brightly, the sky was crisp blue accompanied with some shades of red. Sunlight poured inside the room, illuminating it in every sense.

It also managed to hit Felicity's eyes causing her to groan. She closed her eyes tightly, lines marring her forehead and then turned towards the right wanting to bury her head in a pillow.

Her lips curled up a little involuntarily when she realized that the pillow smelled like Oliver. She buried her head deeper inside of it, wrapping her left arm around it. She sighed in content.

But then the pillow _moved. _She stiffened for a second, pulling away ever so slightly, wanting to see whether the pillow really moved or if it was just a figment of her imagination.

It moved again and Felicity's eyes opened instantly, moving her head away wanting to see what it was. It wasn't the wisest move since it hurt her head a little but not that she cared.

_Oliver._

She was hugging _Oliver. _

She was in the same bed as Oliver.

Her mouth parted open in disbelief and then she turned her head around, eyes landing on the couch where Oliver was supposed to be sleeping. "Oh," She mumbled when she saw it was empty before turning around and facing Oliver, "Kay." The word trailed off and then, she finally recalled what had happened last night.

_Do you believe in us?_

_I do._

A huffed laugh escaped her lips, she lifted the arm she had around him and moved a little, wanting to look at him properly. His head was lying against the headboard which Felicity knew was very uncomfortable but his expression told her something else. There was something akin to a smile on his face and she couldn't help but do the same.

Seeing him smile in his sleep filled her heart with warmth. Her mind automatically took her back to the times where she had actually seen him _crying _in his sleep and now, the solemn expression on his face gave her joy.

She leaned her entire weight on her elbows, wanting to get up when she realized she couldn't. Oliver's left hand was enclosed around her right one.

She looked at Oliver.

Did he do this?

Did this mean something?

_Do you believe in us?_

_I do._

She recalled everything that had happened last night. They had let their guards down last night. She believed that it might have been the first time that Oliver has ever talked about Conner's death and it brought her some peace that while she had been the one to push that side of his away, she had been able to bring it back.

_Belief. _

They had talked about their belief in them, in each other. She had told him that she believed in them. He had looked at her with what she assumed was hope and she had allowed her heart to talk and say that she did.

Hope for them.

She had believed that there could be something more between them.

For that split second, she had.

It all happened so fast. She agreed with him and then they almost kissed.

_Almost kissed._

It made her giddy, filled her stomach with butterflies. Yesterday, for a brief second she had allowed herself to envision a new life with him. Hoping that the two of them could start afresh.

She raised their joined hands together, her left hand landing on their adjoined ones. Yesterday, she had allowed herself to _see _it. She had been hopeful about them.

She still was.

She had started to envision a new life with him.

Now, she wanted to build it.

_Slowly. _

She removed his hand from hers and placed it on his stomach. Moving back a little, she placed her right hand underneath his head wanting to give it a little support as she placed it on the pillow.

His expression wavered for second before going back to the way it was.

She chuckled to herself, placing her the elbow of her right arm on the pillow and her head in the palm of her hand. She positioned her left hand on his face, caressing his cheek. His beard pricked her fingers and she laughed. She had always been fond of it. 'It made him look like man' is what she used to tell him. Plus, every time that she used to kiss him, his facial hair would brush against her skin and make her laugh.

She then used the index finger of her hand to poke his dimple that forming on the left side of his cheek. That little dimple of his made her know whether he was smiling or not, she absolutely adored it.

Conner had a one sided dimple as well.

_Conner. _

Yeah, she wanted to build a life with him again.

Last night made her realize that.

She believed that he wanted this too.

_Do you believe in us?_

She saw it in his eyes. She could always read him like a book but along the way, she had convinced herself of the fact that Oliver had changed and how she didn't know him at all.

But last night, she had allowed herself to hope and she could see it in his eyes. She just prayed that her heart hadn't deceived her.

She had neglected so many things in the past. She had shrugged most of them off and slowly, she was starting to accept them.

_I do._

…

Oliver didn't exactly expect himself to wake up in Felicity's bed. He frowned, his hand landing beside him only to find that space empty. He could hear the shower running and then it dawned. He hadn't moved from his position last night and had fallen asleep here.

He closed his eyes and let out a huff. It's not like he didn't want to. But yesterday, after realizing Laurel was back in Starling and he still was very much in a relationship with her, he figured it was not the best move to sleep in her bed, beside her.

He never had any intention to do that anyway. Not without asking her.

He didn't want to screw this up. Last night had given him so much hope. He had been trying to deny the fact that he hadn't been in love with her for so long.

He had let his mind do the talking. He had never let his heart dominate it. But yesterday it had. She had always been the one for him.

The love of his life. The one he wants to build a family with _again. _The one he wants to spend the rest of his life with.

All this while, he had thought how he wasn't good enough for Felicity. How she deserved better and perhaps, she did then. But now, she believed in him. She believed in them. She trusted him enough to with him and he wasn't going to let that faith of hers falter.

He wanted to be with her.

Last night, he had envisioned it. A future for the two of them. He wanted to rebuild that life with her by her side. He couldn't see anybody else. He didn't _want _to see anybody else. She was the one who brought a smile on his face, made his heart flutter, filled it warmth. Her smile brightened his day. Her happiness was the only thing that mattered to her.

Her happiness now laid with him.

A huffed chuckle escaped his lips. He couldn't fathom this. All along, he had tried to deny it because he knew he didn't deserve her.

But he did. She believed he did.

God, she made him feel like he a teenage kid all over again. He couldn't wait to explore more of it.

This will be better than the first time. He'll make sure of that. They'll get to live everything all over again.

They'll get to be in love with each other all over.

(Not that he ever stopped.)

Now, all he needed to do was talk to Laurel and then tell Felicity everything. He wasn't going to keep anything from her. He wasn't going to fuck this up even though he knew she would be angry. But he will convince her.

If she believed that he was good enough for her, he won't let her down.

It had taken them so long to find each other again.

For her to _believe _in them.

He wasn't going to let her down.

They'll get through this.

Together.

…

**February 2011**

_Felicity entered the nursery passing Oliver the bottle of water she had just filled, "Mom and Dad are asleep. So is my mom." She told him and Oliver nodded, taking a sip from his bottle. "Thea is asleep too. I think she went to sleep when Tommy left," Felicity frowned, trying to recall it._

_"But Conner is still awake," Oliver noted, keeping the bottle on the table and then leaning down, looking at his son._

_He was so tiny. He was just a two day baby after all. Oliver couldn't believe that they had created this tiny human. Even a wave of his hand did something to him. _

_Felicity leaned down as well, her hand hovering over her son's belly. His eyes were big and blue, just like his father's. They were full of wonder. His mouth kept opening and closing like a fish. Even the slightest of movement grabbed his attention. _

_She loved this tiny human being so much. It was a product of love. He was a part of Oliver and her. He had been a part of her for the past nine months. She'll be damned if she let anything happen to him._

_He was so loved. The entire family had been awake up until now just to assist the two of them in taking care of him. This was his first day in this house and their family had tried to help them in the best way possible._

_However, he was unaware of it and still wide awake. Not that Felicity complained much. She knows she had to get used to it and she happily would. Anything for her son._

_"I think he should go to sleep in an hour or so," Felicity told him and Oliver nodded, swinging the toy they had latched on the top of the crib. This perked Conner up, he made grabby hand motions making Felicity pout, "He is so adorable." She looked at her husband and Oliver didn't turn his eyes away, "He is going to be. He is my child after all. Aren't you, champ?" He grinned, "Aren't you?" Conner blinked at Oliver._

_"I thought being called adorable was against your manliness or something."_

_"Yeah well," Oliver looked for a reply but couldn't find one. "I am adorable."_

_"Right," Felicity noted, focusing her attention back on Conner. She rubbed his belly a little and he kicked his legs, smiling a little._

_"He smiled!" Felicity shoved Oliver's arm, "Aww, Oliver. He has a dimple like you." She grinned at him, poking his dimple with the index finger of her right hand, "How many times have I told you to stop doing that?" He pushed it away._

_"Countless," She murmured, doing it again._

_Doing it once again, this time applying much force, "Felicity!" He whined and it made his wife chuckle._

_"He smiled Oliver," Felicity grinned for a second then frowned, realizing something, "Didn't the books say this means he has gas?"_

_"Gas." Oliver nodded, "I think I remember something like this." He told her, "Should I wake up mom?"_

_"No." Felicity told him, "At least not now. Wait, I'll google it."_

_"You'll google it?" Oliver chuckled._

_"Our son needs it, Oliver. Shut up," Felicity raised a finger, "You take care of him."_

_Oliver just grinned, leaning down to pick his son up. He didn't seem sleepy at all, his eyes blinking rapidly trying to analyze who he was._

_"I really don't think he is going to go to sleep any time soon, Felicity."_

_His wife bit back a groan realizing she might have been wrong, "This parenting thing is going to be hard, isn't it?" She looked up._

_"No, we got this." He winked in her direction, bobbing his son up and down. _

_Yeah, they got this._

_They'll get through this._

_Together._

…

Felicity sat on their bed, her eyes narrowing at her phone, "Oliver, he messaged! Flight is at two!" She told him.

"So we can have brunch," Oliver declared as he got out of the bathroom and Felicity turned towards him, mentally thanking God for making sure he was wearing his clothes this time.

"I want to have pizza," She nodded her head, "Yeah. I am in a good mood. Pizza and mint chocolate chip ice cream shake,"

"Good mood," Oliver grinned in her direction, both of his eyebrows rising and Felicity felt her cheeks turning crimson, "I mean, it is a nice day." Felicity nodded, "Nice weather day."

Oliver didn't say a word, just laughed. It was clear that both of them were in a good mood. While they had been this way with each other before hand too, the atmosphere seemed lighter. He walked towards the dressing table, pulling open the drawer and then almost groaned.

"What now?" Felicity asked him and Oliver picked out the tie that he had thrown in there yesterday without giving it much of a thought. Yesterday, he had been way too focused on other things to realize that he had accidently opened his tie. He never opened them. Most of his ties were pre-tied because he couldn't tie a tie to save his life.

Which was really ironic considering he wore ties almost every day.

"You opened the knot, didn't you?" Felicity almost sighed and Oliver glared at the stupid material, "Do you mind?" He asked her and she got up from the bed, "I can't believe you still haven't learned how to do this."

"It is tough!" Oliver protested and Felicity rolled her eyes. "Now can you just do it?" He continued, "I mean you can just pre-tie it or you know, put it around my neck. Neither of the two is bad," He explained himself, "Just the pre-tying thing should be good you know? So that the knot comes in the centre—" Felicity raised her eyebrows but didn't say a word, but his expression was enough to make Oliver stop babbling, "Only I get to talk in sentence fragments." She explained it to him and Oliver nodded, pursing his lips together, "Right."

He really needed to stop overthinking somethings.

"Tie please," Felicity moved her hand and Oliver placed it in the palm of her hand, "Seven years Oliver, you still don't know this." The guy in question just shrugged and Felicity moved her arms, Oliver automatically moving his neck down a little so that she can wrap it around his neck.

She concentrated on it, holding the wide end and the narrow end parallel to one another. She kept the narrow end below the wide one before crossing them. Oliver's eyes fixated itself on her, his lips curling up as he watched her pout in concentration.

She looked adorable.

In the past too, he had never really known how to tie a tie. It had always been her who did this for him. That or his ties were pre-tied, most of them were. Felicity had refused to do it repeatedly, so he had to make sure that he didn't open his tie every time he came from work.

The smile on his face widened when he saw the lines on her forehead fade away, when she had finally made the proper knot, "What are you smiling about?"

"Nothing," Oliver told her, the smile unwavering. He wasn't going to lie. Back in those days, he often used to open his ties deliberately just to have this moment. To put his arms around her and try to flirt a little and she would just try to shrug it off.

"Nothing," Felicity echoed her response, her tone slightly sardonic before she pulled the wider end, making the loop go all the way to Oliver's neck making him gasp for air, "Felicity." He choked out and Felicity let out a giggle before loosening it.

"God, I can't believe I forgot you used to do that." Oliver shook his head, moving his tie a little and Felicity whacked his head away, "Don't mess it up." She frowned, fixing it again so that it was lying in the centre and then proceeded to fix his collar, "Now, you want to tell me what was it that made you smile?"

"Nothing, I just—"His voice trailed off a little, "missed this." He ended at a softer note.

_Missed us._

"Yeah," She whispered softly, her hand moving from his collar and landed on his cheek, "So did I." She didn't even feel hesitant about this anymore. Somehow that feeling that made her overthink every moment with Oliver had vanished.

"Whatever you said last night," The conversation suddenly took a turn, "You meant it, right?" They say eyes are the windows of one's soul, his showcased anticipation, hope and _love. _For the first time, Felicity hoped that she hadn't been fooled by it. That what she was seeing was indeed love.

She wanted it to be love.

"I did," She bit her lip, "Did you?" She looked up and the smile the Oliver shot her was beautiful, "Yeah."

"But," Felicity bit her lip, her hands on either side of face and the gesture made Oliver grin, "There are somethings, we need to talk about before we go forward," She licked her lips, "I want us to go slow if we give this a chance. I need stability."

_Stability._

"_I understand," Oliver whispered to her and Felicity looked up, her smile full of gratitude. He was willing to wait for her if he had too._

_His heart swelled up at a possibility of a stable relationship. _

_She had waited for him for long._

_He was willing to do the same._

Oliver snapped out of his thoughts almost instantly. He couldn't believe this entire thing was reminding him of the time when he told her that he liked her. The very first time that is.

This felt like that too.

They were going to do this all over again.

"We just need to talk about somethings before."

She wanted to talk.

Maybe it was about Laurel.

They had not even talked about her during this entire trip. Not one word. He had forgotten all about her.

Was Felicity talking about her? That they needed to talk about her before they take this relationship forward?

He had been wondering about this. Was telling her after all of this happened the wisest of move? She already knew they were in a relationship, what about the engagement thing? Now or should he tell her that afterwards?

But Felicity wanted to talk.

So, it must be about her.

She clearly was the unresolved issue between them.

Yeah, they'll talk when they reach Starling.

"So, we good then?" She asked, her hands travelled from his face to the collar of his shirt yet again, "We're good." Oliver told her, his hands hovering over her waist before he put them down.

It somehow had begun to claw him on the inside how he they hadn't talked about Laurel.

That is what was stopping him from doing anything.

He just didn't want to mess this up.

"I should go and tell the hotel staff that we need to reach the airport by two," Felicity pulled away and Oliver sighed, his eyes landing on the floor, "Okay."

Should he tell her about Laurel now?

She needed to know they were engaged. She already knew they were together, didn't she?

"Felicity," He called out, his hand reaching for hers. Felicity turned around, her eyes landing on their adjoined hands for a split second before she looked up, "Yeah?" Her lips were curled up to form a smile, her eyes full of expectation.

Expectation.

_He never realized how they had stopped looking at each other with expectation_.

A sigh escaped his lips, "Nothing." He whispered, eyes turning glossy. He hadn't realized how much had wanted this.

He couldn't afford to ruin this.

At least not right now.

They'll talk when they reach Starling. After all, what mattered was it was _he _who would tell her about it. No one else.

God, he really didn't want to fuck this up.

…

The flight wasn't as tiring at they thought it would be. Somehow, Felicity believed it was because both of them were in a good mood. She walked out of the plane, Oliver in tow. A phone was pressed against her ear, she was talking to drivers about picking them up.

She ended the call and then looked at Oliver, "Drivers are here."

"Drivers?" Oliver frowned, "Plural." He tilted his head a little.

"Yeah, I figured we should go in different cars. You need to go home fast. You haven't even contacted your family yet."

"I messaged Thea before my phone died," Oliver told her, shaking his head a little, "I bet those bajilion messages on my phone were all asking about my whereabouts."

"You sure of that, Oliver," She stopped, crossing her arms, "I mean you just assumed it was about your whereabouts. What if it was something else?"

"Like what?" Oliver laughed, "There is nothing to worry about, Felicity. You're just overthinking." Felicity didn't really seem convinced but she didn't argue with him.

"So about that talk," Oliver started, his fingers fidgeting, "When do you want us to have it?" Felicity's focus seemed to have shifted the minute he mentioned it, "Whenever you like it. I'm here for it."

"Perfect," Oliver looked at the ground, this cheeks red, "I'll text you when." She really did make him feel like a little kid.

He didn't want to get rid of this feeling. He just wanted to talk to her about it soon. He didn't want her to have any reason to doubt him again.

She believed in him for a reason and he wanted to show her that.

"Sounds good," She flashed him a big smile, her heart fluttering inside her chest.

She couldn't believe she was willing to give this a chance. Last night had did something to her, to both of them. She had seen that ray of hope and for the first time, in a long while had she allowed her heart to talk rather than her mind.

She wanted this to work.

"I should go," She gestured at the cars in front of them and Oliver hadn't even realized they had reached them. "Right," Oliver stepped a little to the side, giving her way to walk away. Felicity walked right past him towards the vehicle and Oliver watched her leave.

They were going to have that talk.

Whatever things that had been left unsaid, they were going to talk about it and move on because that is all what the two of them wanted. They wanted to be with one another, wanted to rebuild a life again.

He wanted to give their love a chance.

Felicity turned around the last minute, waving him goodbye and he winked back.

A second chance.

…

Felicity entered her house, humming under her breath. Keeping the bag that she had been holding on the couch, she walked towards the kitchen and opened the refrigerator to fetch herself some soda.

She was in a really good mood. She was _humming _and wasn't even tired at all which was surprising considering how much sleep she has had in the past two days.

She couldn't believe all of it had actually happened. They had finally talked and had forgiven one another. They had finally decided to put it past one another and give this a chance.

It made her realize a lot of things. She had been stupid enough to try and ignore it before. It had always been in front of her, yet she had tried to deny it.

She love—

Her phone rang, snapping her out of her thoughts and she reached for the back pocket of her jeans and frowned when she saw the name 'Thea' flash on its screen. Sliding her thumb across it, she picked it up, "Thea?"

"_Oh thank god, Felicity. Is Ollie around?" _

Felicity placed the soda can on the table, focusing her entire attention on the brunette, "No." She told her, "Is something wrong?"

"_No, actually—" _

There was some shuffling on the other end which increased her worries, "Is everything okay Thea?" She pressed the phone closer to her wanting to hear what it was all about.

All she heard were snippets from a conversation that was probably happening far away from Thea or she had been keeping a hand over the speaker so that she wouldn't be able to hear it. Felicity couldn't really hear much.

"_It's on the news…how did...Ollie…dad,"_

Those were the only words that Felicity heard and it didn't take a genius to figure out that it was something related to the news.

She turned on the television almost instantly. She expected the news to be about their new acquisition but the news channels didn't show anything of that sort. She kept shuffling the channels until she finally found the news that Thea was talking about.

She swore her heart dropped into her stomach.

…

Oliver wanted to visit the mansion only to drop of his stuff and greet Thea and his mom once. He was fairly sure that the messages that had been dropped on his cell were all asking for his whereabouts, he just wanted to reassure them that he was indeed safe and was back in Starling.

Then, he was going to make his way over to Laurel's. He needed to end this as soon as possible. Neither of the two deserved to be in this kind of a relationship.

"Ollie!" He heard his sister screech the minute he entered his home. He made a beeline towards her, "Speedy, I'm fine. You don't always have to be—"

"Why weren't you picking up my phone, you idiot?" She whacked his right shoulder causing Oliver to let out a groan, "I was sleeping and then the phone died. What was the big deal anyway?" He looked around expecting something to pop out any minute, "Who died?" He asked again, the humour in his tone evident.

"You're on the news, buddy." Thea gave him a sarcastic smile.

"The acquisition, right?" Oliver didn't pay much heed to it, "I know we would be. I already had talked to Reece—"

"No, your _engagement,"_ Thea practically enunciated the last word so that it could get through his thick head.

"What?" Oliver swore his heart stopped beating for a second.

"Yeah," Thea didn't realize how important this was for her brother, "Laurel apparently told it to someone and he turned out to be a reporter. Tommy is actually looking for him. I just thought you should know—"

Oliver didn't even hear the rest of it, "I need to go." He mumbled.

He didn't even want to see what was on the news. This was his worst fear. He was going to tell Felicity now if he had to. He wasn't going to screw this up in anyway.

"What?"

"I need to go," He repeated, "Laurel is at her home, Ollie. Sara is with her. She couldn't really be alone—"

"Felicity." He told her, shaking his head, "I need to go find Felicity." He didn't even give her the chance to respond to it. He turned around, practically running outside.

_Felicity._

Thea frowned, she hadn't expected this. She had called her previously just wanting to know about Oliver's whereabouts. While she had been trying for quite a while for things to mend between the two, she was completely unaware of the dynamic between Oliver and her.

She really was.

…

Felicity stared at the news in disbelief, her heart beating million miles an hour.

Laurel.

God dammit, how could she forget about Laurel?

His girlfriend.

_"Yes, you heard it right. Oliver Queen is completely off the market. The former playboy has decided to the tie the knot with his long term girlfriend, Laurel Lance. The engagement had happened secretly until Miss. Lance finally spilled the beans."_

Fiancé.

She was his fiancé.

To be married.

She didn't know how to react. Her knees buckled and she found herself clutching the arm rest of her couch. Her eyes never left the television screen as she sat on it. She didn't even blink. Her eyes filled with tears, her vision blurring but she didn't care.

It's like she had tuned everything out.

_He was engaged to Laurel._

_Not girlfriend._

_Engaged. _

_To be married._

She was naive enough to think about a future with him when he had already planned it with someone else.

With Laurel.

A hollow chuckle escaped her lips, her eyes filling with tears. She felt like she was back to square one. The pain seemed raw, it was clawing her on the inside. She had just gotten rid of it. How can it be back?

How can this feeling be back?

She didn't want it to be back. She finally thought that they had reached somewhere. That they had finally had found a common ground.

They had finally decided to be with one another.

But what for?

God, she was such an idiot.

Her heart hurt. Suddenly, she found it harder to breathe. Her hands almost turned white as she tightened her hold on the couch. She needed to get herself together.

But how?

It hurt. She wasn't supposed to be feeling this day. This day was supposed to mark a new beginning for them, instead all she could feel was being sucked back into what she rose from.

_Anything _was better than this. The awful pain, deep inside her chest. It felt like her heart was being squeezed like a vice, like a weight rested on her chest, refusing to accept precious oxygen.

This was why she had hid her heart away. She had never really given Oliver a chance before because she was scared. She didn't want to get her heart broken again but look where it led her.

She was back in the same position again and this seemed worse somehow. She had seen all of it so closely. She had allowed herself to dream, to envision a future with Oliver. She had figured this could be a new start.

It was a new start indeed.

Not for her, but for him.

Now, Laurel gets to live the life that she envisioned. Laurel gets to be his wife, gets to have his children.

She remembered thinking how perfect Oliver and Laurel were for one another. How somehow, she seemed liked the outsider.

It somehow transported her back to those days. When she had recently met Oliver. She had always believed that Laurel had been more important to him than her and she was. She was his girlfriend back then and she was just his friend, nothing more. She knew Laurel had always meant more to him. She just knew.

His ex-wife versus his fiancé.

She was just stupid. She remembered thinking that Oliver's and Laurel's ties must be deeply rooted. She never had the guts to start dating but Oliver did. He wanted to move on.

He had.

With _Laurel._

Not with her.

_Laurel._

She placed her hands on the top of her face, trying to control her breathing. The sobs didn't stop. New tears kept replacing the old ones, her entire face marred with tear tracks. She looked around as if trying to find an escape. She wasn't ready for this pain.

"_I love you, Laurel."_

She had heard him say it. She had heard him say it in _her _house, what used to be her house. Should she really be surprised?

Laurel gets to live the life that she had imagined for herself. A life that she had lived once. A life that she wanted to live again but she couldn't. He was never really hers to begin with. She had been foolish enough to think like that.

He had always been Laurel's. Ever since she stepped back in Starling.

Laurel gets to be his wife.

"_Mrs. Felicity Queen," Oliver smiled, wrapping his arms around her waist and Felicity grinned back, "It has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?"_

"_It sounds perfect." Oliver told her genuinely before leaning down to kiss her._

Laurel gets to have his children.

"_He's so small," Felicity whispered, placing her finger beside her, his small hand grabbing it almost instantly, "My baby." She grinned at him and Conner released a light chortle, kicking his legs in the air. _

"_He is," Oliver agreed, leaning down and dropping a feather like kiss on his forehead, "I can't wait for him to grow up," He told her, his eyes showcasing his excitement, "I'm going to teach him everything."_

"_No," Felicity shook her head, her eyes never leaving Conner, "He is never going to grow up." She told him, "I don't want him to grow up."_

"_I can't wait for him to grow up," Oliver teased her and Felicity picked up the pillow lying beside her and then threw it at him, "Ow, Felicity!"_

To be with him.

"_I love you," Felicity whispered to him and Oliver leaned down dropping a soft kiss on her lips which made her toes curl up. "I love you too,"_

This suddenly made her angry. She was angry at Oliver for making her believe in all of this all over again.

_Do you believe in us?_

_I do._

_Did you mean it?_

_I did._

Why had he given her hope only to take it away?

Her knees buckled for the second time that day. This time, she found herself falling against her couch, her back lying against. She suddenly felt like a vulnerable child. She brought her knees towards her chest, wrapping an arm around then and then buried her face inside of it as if trying to block reality.

But she couldn't really do that, could she?

"_Laurel Lance and Oliver Queen have finally decided to tie the knot."_

She couldn't.

…

Oliver had rushed straight towards Felicity's home. He couldn't believe this has happened. All this while he had been thinking of telling her the truth and the only thing that was comforting him was the fact that it would be he who would tell her that.

He would be the one to explain it to her.

Instead, this happened.

He didn't even want to think about the repercussions of this. They had talking about building a future a few hours ago and now, he wasn't even sure if there ever was going to be one.

He stopped the car right in front of her townhouse, plugged out his phone from the charger and then got out of it. He pressed the lock button on his car key and shoved them inside his jacket. Hastily, he made his way towards the door, his fingers twitching nervously.

A small part of him hoped that she hadn't heard about it.

He rang the doorbell of her house and chose to wait for her to open the door.

She didn't.

He fidgeted in his position, ringing the bell once again, "Felicity?" He called out, his heart thudding in his chest.

They had finally decided to give each other a chance. Had finally put the past behind, Oliver wasn't going to let them go back to the way they were.

He wasn't going to lose her.

"Felicity?!" He called out again, choosing to knock this time.

She didn't open the door.

…

Felicity didn't know how long she had been sitting in this position. Her legs felt numb. The tears had finally stopped, but the agony was still there.

The channel hadn't been changed and it kept showing the same news. At one point they even showed a picture of Felicity and Oliver, telling its audience of how his previous marriage hadn't worked and he was deciding to give this a chance again.

Yep, it hadn't worked out.

She sniffed a little, taking off her glasses and keeping them on the couch. She leaned her head against it, choosing to stare at the ceiling in silence. Her face felt wet but she honestly didn't care.

_Do you believe in us?_

_I do._

She closed her eyes wanting to get rid of this memory, causing a tear to leak from her left eye.

She just wanted a little peace and quiet for a while.

But of course she wouldn't get that. The doorbell rung and lines appeared on her forehead as she let out a groan full of frustration. Her eyes became wet, was it so hard for people to leave her alone.

She whimpered a little, holding onto the furniture for support as she got up. She took a deep breath, rubbing her hands on her cheeks.

"Felicity?!"

Her breath hitched within her throat.

Oliver was here.

A huff escaped her lips as she tried to control her tears. Somehow, he calling out for her reminded her of this morning and it made things all the more painful for her.

She didn't want to see him.

At least not now.

Her heart was hurting, she knew she wasn't in the state of talking. She blamed him, he had someone and he didn't stop what was happening in Coast City.

"Go away!" She shouted, her fists curling up together, wanting him to go away.

Looking at him right now made her think of the future. A future that she wasn't a part of anymore, but Laurel was. It was funny how in a brief period everything had changed.

Will he say that he meant it?

Or will he tell her how it all had been a mistake?

She desperately wanted to believe in the former but the truth was she couldn't trust him anymore. Words were just words.

The only thing revolving in her head was the fact that he was _engaged. _He jumped onto the next level of a relationship with her, surely it didn't matter now. Not anymore.

"Just listen to me once, okay? I wanted to tell you!" He said from the other end and Felicity's voice broke a little, "I don't want to. Please just leave, Oliver!"

"I'm not leaving you alone!" She heard him say and she turned her face towards the left and pursued her lips together.

She had to close her heart yet again, just like she had the first time. Everything that made her think that maybe he might have feelings for her, she blocked it because it couldn't have been true. She was right about all of it, wasn't she?

"Just go, Oliver!" She told him, "Just go." She stage whispered, "I don't want to look at you. I don't want to talk to you. Anything."

"Just hear me out once, please." His voice was full of desperation and Felicity wanted to give in.

But should she?

She didn't want to do anything with him.

She couldn't believe that they had come this far for nothing.

"Just once, please."

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She had made the decision.

She knew he wasn't going to leave anytime soon so it was better to just hear him out. They had their closure last night but maybe this situation required one too. Because she wanted to hear what he wanted to say and she wanted to tell him a few things too.

How could he do this to her?

How could he talk to her about their relationship when he was planning to do all of it with someone else?

It had taken them a long time to talk the last time. She wasn't going to waste her time now. She didn't want to be hopeful in anyway. She would talk to him right now.

She licked her lips together, wiping her hands against her jeans before making her way towards the door.

Yeah, she was going to let him talk.

…

Oliver leaned against the door, waiting for her to say something. He wanted to see her, wanted to comfort her. He didn't want her to know about it this way.

He should have talked to her in Coast City.

He didn't even how it happened. Laurel and he had decided they would keep it a secret and would decide it when to reveal it to the public. Honestly speaking, Oliver hadn't even thought about it. Laurel had asked him about it but he always changed the topic.

He didn't want it to come out.

He didn't want Felicity to know. He had admitted it to himself. He didn't want her to know about it which was really funny considering how desperately had he wanted to show her that he had moved on as well.

But had he really?

He waited with bated breath for her response but instead of answering him back, she opened the door.

Oliver moved back a little, the thumb of his right hand was fidgeting, "Felicity," He sighed, tilting his head to the side and Felicity didn't say a word. In normal situations she would have actually smiled because she had always told him how he had the power to convey his emotions by just using her name.

Her eyes were puffy and Oliver knew she had been crying, "Felicity," He moved forward, raising his hand to touch her but she stepped back causing his face to fall, "What do you want? Haven't you done enough?"

"This isn't what it looks like," Oliver tried to explain himself.

"Really?" Felicity crossed her arms, her tone was a little harsh, reflecting her pain, "You accidently got engaged to her?" He sighed, "No." He shook his head, "It isn't like that. I—"

"What is it like, Oliver?"

He took a deep breath and chose to speak the truth, "I was engaged to her." He told her and Felicity's eyes filled with moisture but she refused to let it fall, "You are engaged to her."

"I called her back when we were in Coast City. I wanted to break up with her, Felicity. You need to understand—"

"Your engagement just went public, Oliver!"

Oliver went from one relationship to the other one. He went from a relationship to an _engagement. _That relationship meant that much to him, how can she believe all of this?

"Felicity," Oliver told her, "I realized it back then that I wanted to be with you. You have to understand—"

"I did understand, Oliver!" She was close to her loud voice, "What you made me understand was that you wanted to give us a chance!" Her voice cracked, "And it wasn't like that at all!"

Oliver shook his head, "You gave me hope," Felicity continued, the tears finally breaking those barriers that she had set, "And then you took it away." She said slowly.

"I didn't take anything away! I want to be with you!" He told her and Felicity sniffed, "I can't trust us anymore. I can't trust you, anymore."

"Don't act like you didn't know that I had a girlfriend." Oliver spoke, his frustration reaching its peak.

Felicity sighed, her face coiling in pain and she didn't even know what to say. Oliver realized what he had just said, "I didn—" Felicity wasn't interested in what he wanted to say next so she turned around, wanting to get away from here.

This seemed like an ultimatum, yes she had been aware of it. For a brief second, she blamed herself thinking about how she should have been wary of it. But then it vanished, because she couldn't handle this.

He went from one relationship to another, no this didn't make it any better. This made it _worse. _He should have told her, should have stopped her heart from getting broken _again._

He gave her hope, only to take it away.

A set of arms stopped her from going and she let out a small cry, "Let me go."

"I didn't mean it." Oliver's voice wavered, "This doesn't justify anything." He buried his head in her hair and Felicity let out a sob, trying to claw his hands away, "I'm sorry."

"Sorry can't fix this. You're about to get married to someone, Oliver." She whispered, "I want to be with you." He told her and she felt him drop a kiss above her ear, "I can't," She told him, "Not this time."

The thing was, she didn't know if she could trust him. His relationship was that powerful, that he took it to another level. She had been stupid enough to envision all of it with an _engaged _man. A man who had already chosen his life partner, and it wasn't her.

It was someone else. He loved someone else. When they were married, she never doubted it. His love for her, a thought of that had never entered her mine. Never.

But they weren't married now, there was no future in sight either.

How was she supposed to trust him again?

How was she supposed to let go of it now? How was she supposed to trust him now?

She couldn't.

How was she supposed to believe in them when there was no them left?

He was _engaged. _It was now did she realize how serious must have that relationship been, that he went from dating to an engagement. One year is what kept ricocheting in her head.

Oliver and she just weren't in the cards anymore, were they?

When Oliver didn't move and Felicity sighed, "Let go, Oliver." She told him, "Laurel doesn't deserve this. Go be with her." At the mention of her name, he finally removed his arms and Felicity turned around, "Just go." She had accepted this.

"I want you to know that I meant every single word, okay?" He told her and she didn't look at him, a futile attempt at hiding the tears, "Look at me." He turned his head towards her and Felicity did reluctantly, "I meant every single word of it." He told her with so much of sincerity, "Believe me."

Felicity muttered back, "That's the thing Oliver, I don't. Not anymore." The realization was painful but it was true. All she could think about was that relationship, _his _relationship.

"Don't say that." He almost pleaded, his face coiling in pain but Felicity ignore it.

"Just tell me how long?" She whispered and Oliver was silent. He knew what she was trying to ask and he honestly didn't know how to explain it to her.

Felicity's heart broke in two, "It was before I entered Starling, wasn't it? You both got engaged before that, didn't you?"

Oliver closed his eyes, he was speechless.

"You really haven't changed, have you?" She told him, "I can't believe I actually thought of getting back together with you." She said, anger taking over her.

Her heart burned with pain, the tears not stopping. She had read about this, when anger makes you want to cry. She was experiencing the same. Her fists curled up, the future she had envisioned with him falling to pieces.

Oliver didn't really have the time to counter as F elicity had turned around and left. She closed the door to her house and Oliver stared at the closed door, his eyes filled with tears. He gritted his teeth together, his fingers twitching on their own accord and he realized he really had fucked this up.

_Do you believe in us?_

_I do._

She didn't believe in them anymore. It was she who gave him the hope and now—

It was all gone.

He leaned his against the door of her house, "Don't do this." He whispered, the tears in his eyes finally fell.

She was _gone._

Unbeknownst to him, Felicity was leaning against the door too, not wanting to face this reality either. A soft, "No," had escaped her lips which had failed to reach his ears.

God, why was this happening to them?

Hadn't they suffered enough?

His phone started ringing the next second and he cursed under his breath. Stepping a little to the side, he finally reached for it. He saw the name, 'Sara' flash on the screen and pressed his thumb against the red button.

He really didn't want to talk to anyone right now.

He just wanted to be alone.

Putting it back in his pocket, he found himself sitting on the threshold of Felicity's house. He placed his elbows on his knees for support, running a hand through his hair.

He sighed, her words were ricocheting in his head.

_Do you believe in us?_

_I don't. _

He loved her so much. It had taken him so long to realize this fact. It took them months to finally talk about it and now that they had, why was his world crashing yet again?

God, he hadn't never even planned proposing to Laurel. His dad had died, he had already lost his son and his wife, he just didn't want to—

The phone rang again and Oliver massaged his head a little and then, got his phone out.

_Sara._

Why can't people just leave him alone today?!

He sniffed a little, running him thumb under his left eye, trying to stop the tears from falling, "What?" He cleared his throat a little, scrunching his nose a little, "Sara?"

"_Oliver! Where are you?"_

"I'm actually at—" He turned to look at Felicity's house, "Nothing. What do you need?" He asked, rubbing his right eye, trying to remove the moisture.

"_It's Laurel. She needs you. You should come and see her, Oliver."_

"Uhh," Oliver hesitated for a second.

_Laurel._

Yeah, he had to deal with her too. He didn't how all of this had reached this point. They had not planned on revealing this information to the public.

He sent her that voicemail, dammit!

What had happened?

"I'll be there," He nodded, "Soon." He could hear her talking on the phone but he honestly didn't care. Felicity's words were the ones running through his head. It was she who finally cut the phone and Oliver closed his eyes, pressing his phone against the bridge of his nose.

A deep breath escaped his lips as he finally decided that he was going to visit Laurel.

Keeping his phone back in his pocket, he got up and then cast Felicity's home a final glimpse.

She was there on the other side.

_So close, yet so far._

He turned around and walked away.

He had tried to fix one mess and now he had to fix the other one.

…

Oliver hesitatingly made his way towards Laurel's home. He stood in front of the door but didn't press the doorbell.

He was contemplating what to say. While driving, all he had been thinking about was Felicity's words and as soon as the sadness left, he was hit by anger. Laurel had no right revealing this information just like that. It concerned him as well. Not when, he sent her that message.

This information affected him and his family. How could she just tell it to a reporter? Whatever it had been, this entire thing concerned him too.

She had absolutely no right. It was her entire fault that he was in this position.

It was Sara who opened the door. She looked at him, passing him a tight grin as if trying to comfort him while he was dealing with this mess, "Hey,"

Oliver hummed in reply, choosing not to say anything. He stepped inside, looking around for Laurel, "Where is she?"

"You don't know, do you?" Sara frowned, "Know what?"

Sara shook her head, to Oliver it seemed like she was in disappointed in something. He figured it was him—them, but didn't say a word, "About her addiction."

"Addiction?" Oliver's eyes widened.

"She's been taking anti-depressants," Sara told him, opening the door to her room and Oliver finally gazed inside only to find Laurel lying on the bed, "Alcohol. Pills. She's been destroying herself." Oliver's eye skimmed over her petite figure. She looked weak and pale. He couldn't believe he had not seen this happening.

Oliver opened his mouth to say something, but the words that he died in the back of his throat, "...Why?"

Instead of walking to her, he chose to walk towards the table where the bottles lay. He picked them up, reading the contents of it.

He had absolutely no idea.

It didn't surprise him to be honest. No, not the fact that Laurel had been drinking but the fact that he didn't know about it. They had been falling apart for a long time, they were just trying to make it work but it wasn't going to.

It was never going to.

He had given this a chance. At one point in his life, he had wanted it to work. He had given Laurel a chance and he wanted them to work, what for?

Suddenly, this relationship had lost all direction.

"She was actually wanting to meet you which is why I called you. She'll wake up in a few hours." Sara told him, "She needs you in her life, Oliver."

"I-"Oliver's thoughts were jumbled, "I need some air." He told the blonde, walking past her and heading straight for the balcony.

He really needed to sort himself out.

…

**March 2011**

_Oliver heard some fidgeting happen on the other end but he didn't open his eyes. Instead, he chose to ignore it and moved his arm forward trying to look for a pillow. It was a little hard considering his eyes were closed but he did end up finding one and then proceeded to place it on the back of his head, trying to tune the noise out._

_"Oliver," He heard his wife call out for him and he groaned, "Go away."_

_"I am going away you asshole! I just wanted you to know it," She huffed out._

_"Going away?" Oliver's ear perked up and he immediately lifted his head only to wife standing near their bed. _

_He let his eyes roam, realizing that his wife was wearing a track suit._

_Sleep all gone now, he grinned and then turned around. He wanted to hear this one._

_"What?" Felicity asked, even though she knew exactly what he was grinning about. _

_"Nothing," He placed his hands on the back of his head, "Continue."_

_Felicity rolled her eyes, "I am going out for a jog."_

_Oliver's smile widened before he dissolved into peals of laughter._

_Felicity pouted, her eyes narrowing, "What is so funny about this?"_

_"Absolutely nothing." Oliver shook his head and Felicity hummed in reply, "I'll see you later." He was incorrigible sometimes. She turned around wanting to leave when she felt him pull her hand. She wasn't prepared for this and consequently instead of finding herself sitting beside him, she found herself on the top of him. "Oliver!" She screeched and her husband didn't even shrug. _

_"Why are you doing this?" Oliver frowned, completely nonchalant about the fact that Felicity was atop him._

_She didn't think much about it, "I have gained weight Oliver. I need to get back in shape." She reasoned while Oliver wrapped his arms around her._

_"You know you don't need to do this, right?" He told her._

_Felicity didn't meet his eyes for a second, "I want to do this."_

_"But you don't have to, you know that right?" Oliver wanted to be sure of this. He had read about it, how women felt insecure post their pregnancy and he wasn't going let his wife feel the same way. _

_"I want to." Felicity told him, "And yeah, I know I don't need to." She laughed, "I will rip your eyes out before I even let you look at another woman, Queen."_

_"Homicidal tendencies," Oliver noted and Felicity smiled, not denying it._

_"Well you should know that even I'm not interested in other women. I love my wife," Felicity's eyebrows rose, "Even though she is fat."_

_Felicity gasped, "You-" Oliver swallowed the rest of her words with a kiss and it took Felicity mere seconds to give in, a low chuckle escaping her lips as she kissed him back._

_"Now I need to go," Felicity patted his shoulder, finally getting up. _

_"Yeah," Oliver nodded and then lifted the quilt off of him, "What are you doing?" Felicity asked, confused._

_"What?" Oliver raised an eyebrow, "Now, I can't even join my wife for a jog?" _

_Felicity's head moved a little to the side, "Ah," She let out, licking her lips, "Of course you can."_

_Gah, he made her feel so giddy at times. _

_"Good," Oliver nodded, "I mean somebody has got to keep the guys at bay." He made a beeline towards her._

_"Guys?"_

_"I will rip your eyes out before I even let you look at another man, Queen." He whispered in her ear before walking past her._

_Felicity burst into chuckles, "Homicidal tendencies, Oliver!"_

….

Felicity dried her hair as she got out of the bathroom. Dropping the towel on the chair in her room, she wiped her eyes one last time before making her way towards her bed. She needed to get rid of these thoughts.

She just needed to get rid of him.

She laid on the bed, reaching for the Scooby Doo toy that was lying on it. A soft smile came on her face when she pressed her face against it. Her eyes filled with moisture, she whimpered, bringing her hand on the spot right above her ear, where he had dropped a kiss.

She couldn't believe today had been real.

It had started so beautifully. She had hope. She had believed in them.

But now, she had nothing left to believe in.

He was starting a new life with someone else and she wasn't a part of it.

She was never going to be a part of it.

Her phone buzzed and she moved her arm across the bed, wanting to fetch it. A sigh escaped her lips when she realized it was 'Ed' who was calling her.

"Hey," She whispered softly and she could practically hear him smiling, "_Hey, Felicity."_

"How did you remember me today?" She tried to laugh, but it sounded hollow to her ears. Now that she thought about it, these past two days had made her forget about almost everything. It was just Oliver and her.

"_Can't I call just like that? I mean you're my friend, right?_" Felicity nodded her head absently. She knew what he wanted and Felicity had wanted to give this a chance. He was such a nice person and she had wanted to get to know him.

But she didn't think she'll ever be ready for it.

"Listen Ed, I can't," She murmured, "I don't think I can do this whole date thing. I'm just not in the right place," She pressed the middle finger of her right hand at the corner of her left eye, "I know I keep repeating the same statement. But I don't think I can."

There was silence at the other end and Felicity feared that he had hung up, _"I understand."_

Oh, thank God.

He understood. Of course he did. He was amazing and she wished she could give this a chance, "Thank you for this."

"_Take care, Felicity_." He told her and Felicity hummed in reply, "I will. Thank you." The call ended the next second and she felt those thoughts creeping back in.

Laurel and Oliver.

A new world for them. A world that Felicity wasn't a part of.

_I can't do this._

Why can't she do this? If Oliver had been able to move on, why couldn't she do it?

It was hard. At first it was because she just couldn't and now, things had become much worse.

She had allowed herself to dream about it, had allowed that belief to dwell.

Only for it to crash.

But she didn't want to feel this way.

She really didn't.

She hesitatingly reached for the phone again, unsure of what Ed might of it but to be honest, she didn't really care. Tonight, she wanted to take a step forward and make herself realize that Oliver indeed didn't govern her.

She could move on.

Ed was willing to understand her once, she hoped he could do it again. If she wanted to take this step, she wanted it to be with someone like him.

"_Hello?_" She heard on the other end and Felicity took a deep breath. Yes, she redialled his number. Tonight, she wanted to realize that she can move on too. She wanted too, now she just had to prove it to herself.

She can try her hand at this.

"Ed." She said his name, "I was thinking about this and I—I want this to work. I just don't think I can,"

"_But you want this?" His voice full of anticipation_.

"I think yeah," Felicity nodded, "I want this."

"_You sure? I mean previously you sounded a little—"_

"I was a little," Felicity didn't deny it, "I'm not anymore. I don't want to be that anymore."

She didn't want to be left behind anymore.

"_So, does that mean the date is still on?"_ He asked her and Felicity nodded her head, "I hope it is." She laughed.

Yeah, she wanted to move on.

She wasn't going to let this set her back yet again. She had believed in something and it had crashed badly.

She had believed in them.

She had envisioned a world for them.

But if that wasn't going to happen, she wasn't going to stop living was she?

If Oliver can build a life for himself, so could she.

She'll live it with someone.

At least, she could try to.

…

**May 2011**

_Oliver raised Conner in the air before blowing air bubbles on his stomach causing him to laugh out loud._

_Felicity grinned widely watching the two of them. She placed the book she was reading on her stomach, focusing her entire attention on the two of them._

_Was it possible to feel this content? Moments like these made her want to pinch herself if they were actually real. These two people were her entire world and their happiness was the only thing that mattered to them._

_Nothing else._

_"What?" Oliver asked, noticing her staring and Felicity just blinked. Her attention was grabbed by her child who was lying on his bare chest, his thumb inside his mouth, his eyes focused on his mother. "Nothing." She just smiled, "I just love watching the two of you together."_

_"You hear that, champ?" Oliver lifted Conner up, "Mommy loves us." He kissed his nose and the little boy something akin to a whimper at that, raising his tiny hands and rubbing them against his nose. _

_When Oliver reached to grab them as well, Conner swatted his hand at him trying to push him away and Felicity finally chose to speak, "He's getting cranky."_

_"Yeah," Oliver noticed this too, "Give him to me." Felicity raised her arms and Oliver narrowed his eyes at her, "Oliver, you have had him for the past few hours. He is getting sleepy. It is almost his bedtime. Give him to me."_

_Oliver sighed, passing Conner to her and Felicity didn't even need to do anything. Conner laid his head on her shoulder, his face turned towards Oliver, arms lying beside him._

_Felicity hit Oliver on the arm and her husband frowned. She moved her eyebrows, gesturing towards Conner who Oliver realized wasn't being his playful self but instead was clinging to his mother oh so tightly._

_"My baby is sleepy, isn't he?" Felicity whispered softly, rubbing his back gently and Oliver turned towards them. Conner noticed this, his eyes shifting to meet him and Oliver blinked slowly in his direction._

_His mouth opened, a yawn escaping it and before Oliver realize his eyes had fallen shut._

_Felicity continued to whisper in his ear, her hand spanning across his entire back and when she realized he had fallen asleep, she moved her head towards him, swinging him lightly. _

_It filled his heart with warmth. The site of the two of them together._

_"Now what are you all so smiley about?"_

_"Nothing." Oliver echoed her reply but they both knew. _

_Everything._

_They meant everything to one another._

…

Oliver held onto the banister, trying to process everything in.

It was too much. He was finding it hard to breathe. He loosened his tie, his mind now drifting back to the start of the day. They had been so _happy. _A ray of hope had made itself visible amongst the darkness and now, it was back to it.

He felt like they had just taken a million steps behind.

Last night, he had allowed himself to believe in them because _she _believed in them. All along he had made himself think that she deserved better.

She deserved more.

But when she told him, how she believed in him, in them it made him realize that maybe he was worth it. She wanted it.

He loved her and he just wanted her to be happy and her happiness lay with him. She wanted to be with him.

Until he screwed it up, again.

Now, she didn't believe in them and he felt like someone was squeezing his heart. He looked up, his eyes filling up with unshed tears.

He couldn't believe that he had witnessed happiness so closely and now, it was all gone.

A small part of him hoped they hadn't had that conversation in the first place. It would have hurt less. He wouldn't have gotten to expect something out of it.

But he wouldn't change it for the world. It made him realize that he loved her.

But she deserved better.

_That's the thing Oliver. I don't. Not anymore._

A cry escaped his lips, he felt like he was losing everything all over again.

He wasn't good enough for her. He never would be and he had to get in terms with it.

Amidst that he had somehow, managed to screw up one more thing as well.

Laurel.

_She needs you._

How had this happened to her? How had he not seen it? Did all of this happen because of him?

He had tried to make it work. Both of them had but truth to be told, it never had and it probably never will. Oliver had felt what love was like. He had only felt it with Felicity and no one else.

He knew he would never be able to love Laurel that way?

But will leaving Laurel especially when needed him the most the wisest of moves?

It wasn't.

He had already fucked one thing up, he couldn't let her destroy her life. He wasn't going to let it happen.

There was no hope for Felicity and him. She deserved better than someone like him.

He had already ruined one life, he couldn't do this to the other one.

He wasn't going to.

Laurel needed him.

He rubbed his hand across his face, wiping away the tears that had fallen. He gasped a little, he couldn't believe he was about to do this. He took out his phone from his pocket, dialling her number hastily.

He just wanted to talk to her once, wanted to hear her voice.

This was it.

She deserved someone better than him.

He was giving up.

An automated voice on the other end told him that it was busy and he growled in frustration before throwing his phone against the wall.

He just wanted to hear her once. Just wanted to talk to her once. He knew he didn't deserve it but he wanted it as a good bye. He was wrapping this chapter up. He wasn't going back it.

She deserved better than him. All he had ever done was cause her pain. He took that belief away. He ruined it.

Everything had started so perfectly, they had finally taken a few steps towards one another.

So, why did it feel like they just took a million back?

He was finally letting her go.

_Do you believe in us?_

_I do._

But now she didn't, not anymore.

He had finally made his decision. He was giving up on her. It was clear that she deserved someone better. She was the reason why he believed in them in the first place and now that she was gone, there was nothing left.

_Nothing._

Now Laurel needed him. He didn't want to destroy another life. He wasn't going to. He will not abandon her, at least not right now.

He let out a sob, his eyes burned. He couldn't fathom this reality, he didn't want to face it.

_He was giving up on her._

But he had too.

In a few hours he will.

_She'll wake up in a few hours. She needs you._

But for now, he chose to cry.

Because reality had become painful again.

_I don't believe in you. Not anymore. _

**That is it!**

**Hope you all liked it! I'm not exactly proud of this chapter but I hope you guys liked it. **

**(Please Read) **

**A/N : What I want to address this time round, is Felicity's insecurity with Laurel and the fact how Oliver believes he isn't good enough for Felicity. Oliver believed because she believed in it. Now, he needs to take a chance. Hopefully, you all will be happy with what happens next! Thank you x **

**I want you all to remember that they did have the talk, okay? They talked. Keep hope! **

**Reviews and PMs are always appreciated.**

**Come say hi to me on Twitter : Srishti369**

**Seeya next time! **

**Srishti x**

**P.S The beginning of this chapter mirrors the beginning of this story. It is a new beginning for them! Kudos to you if you realized it :D **


	30. Chapter Twenty Six : Friends

**Hey you all. How are you?**

**Okay, so the response to the last chapter was kind of mixed. Which was expected, since we did go from being hopeful...to being not. However, things will go uphill from here. A lot of people said that the story just went full circle.**

**A friend of mine said, that at first they hated one another and now, they hated the thought of not being with one another. Also, they had the talk, didn't they? Don't lose hope yet! You've come this far with me, just a little more **

**Now, you have guys have been committed to it since the beginning of time, through the hiatus and everything and I'm sorry, if you feel like I am not committed to it, I'm sorry. I am committed to it. I am trying my best. I plan and write it. You guys deserve it. At the moment, all I could do is update twice or thrice a month and I'm doing it and will continue to do so. This fanfic is mine and yours. WE made it and I appreciate you all so much. I'll give my best. If you still see a problem, PM me or come on twitter. We can talk! If I can get better, I will.**

**So let us continue, shall we?**

**Thank you for reviews.**

**Word Count : 10520**

**Not betaed. All mistakes are mine.**

**Disclaimer : I don't own anything that seems familiar.**

"**If two past lovers remain friends, **

**Either they were never in love or still are."**

**Chapter Twenty Six : Friends**

Felicity stared at the laptop screen, her fingers moving rapidly against the keyboard. She had been up almost the entire night, trying to distract herself. She hated this. It wasn't the first time this was happening to her. She has had so many nights like these and she knew how much it affected her mentally and physically but she couldn't help it.

Alas, insomnia it was.

So, she had tried to distract herself. Usually it was coding or cooking that distracted her from all of it. But she felt exhausted (yes, she felt exhausted but wasn't able to go to sleep), so cooking was out of question. Thus, she had been coding for the past few hours. But so far that had been futile too.

He was in her head. No matter how much she tried to distract herself, it just wasn't working out. To top it all, it wasn't just last night she had been recalling. Somehow, her mind had gone all the way back. She had started to cherish the moments they had once all over again, knowing that now they were never going to happen.

_I want to be with you._

She wanted to trust him, she really did but she found herself in the same position that she was in before, when she came back to this city.

There had always been a nagging feeling in the back of her mind, that he felt something for her. When they somehow had ended up together in their home, she remembered almost telling him that she needed him. When they were in Conner's nursery, each and every time an interaction left her with a little hope. She didn't even realize this. There was always something stopping her from doing that. Something that stopped her from _acknowledging _those moments.

_Laurel._

He had moved on with Laurel, right? It was a reminder that hit her every now and then. There was no way in hell he felt something for her because he had already moved on. So she guarded her heart yet again and refused to believe in it.

But then she had, allowed herself to believe in it. She became hopeful that yes, there could be something between the two of them.

But she had _forgotten._

She had allowed herself to get lost and had completely forgotten about Laurel. She had always been there. Ever since she stepped in this city. She should have realized that.

_Don't act like you didn't know I had a girlfriend._

She knew. She had always known he had a girlfriend. Her fingers moved rapidly before she pressed Enter forcefully, hoping it would work but instead her screen started to show an error and she swore under her breath. Moving her finger over the mouse, she closed the window and instead found herself facing another one.

_Oliver Queen and Laurel Lance._

Yes, she googled about them. This was probably one of the cons of actually choosing to code over sleeping. Curiosity got the best of her and she searched about them. They had been together for a year and had been engaged for a while. She clicked on the images tab and found herself looking at the images of the two of them.

It was filled with the pictures of the two of them. Standing beside one another, walking down the street—it didn't contain anything major but it brought tears to Felicity's eyes. She had seen the two of them before, they seemed like the perfect couple. She skimmed down the photos, somehow coming across the one of Oliver and her with Conner. She sighed to herself, pursuing her lips together before clicking on it.

It was a picture of that Thea had taken of the two of them. She remembered it vividly.

…

**August 2011**

"_I'm here, I'm here!" Oliver ranted, the minute he opened the door to the restaurant as he made his way over to their table. Felicity shared a knowing look with Thea who just shook her head. "Sorry, I'm late," He apologized, pulling the vacant chair beside Felicity. _

"_You're always late, sweetheart." Moira told him causing Oliver to shot her a tight lipped smile, "Thanks mum," He told her, shooting her a tight lipped smile which caused Felicity to chuckle. Conner let out a high pitched giggle seeing her and Oliver narrowed his eyes at him, "Something funny, Champ?" He said, poking his finger in his son's stomach causing him to laugh even harder. _

_Felicity moved him in Oliver's direction and he grabbed him. "Dada," Conner mumbled out and it brought a wide smile on Oliver's face. "That's right," He rubbed his nose against his' Conner's, "Dada." He turned to look at Felicity, "Say that once again for you mom," _

"_Oh please," Felicity huffed out, the grin on her face was still prominent. They had a bet as to what will be Conner's first word and he had been smug about it ever since it happened. Oliver laughed, pressing the child against his torso before leaning towards Felicity and dropping a kiss on her cheek, "You look gorgeous," _

"_Thank you," Felicity's cheeks turned red and before she could say anything further, Thea interrupted them. She took her phone out, "I want a photograph," She told them, turning on the camera._

"_What?" Oliver was dumbfounded. _

"_For what?" Felicity frowned and Thea placed her elbow on the table, turning on the camera in her phone, "Twitter."_

"_Twitter," Oliver echoed her._

"_Really?" Felicity's eyes widened, "You are on twitter? I want to see!" _

"_Teenagers and their obsessions," Robert shook his head but Thea ignored him, "Oh come on, ask questions later. Smile for the camera!" _

_Oliver placed his arm around Felicity's waist, the latter leaning her head towards him while smiling. Thea clicked their photo, smiling widely, "Yes!"_

_Felicity pulled away and then turned towards Oliver, placing her hand on his cheek. She was saying something but Thea tuned her out, instead choosing to focus on sharing the photo she had just snapped._

_She began typing mumbling under her breath, "Mr and Mrs. Queen," _

_She turned to look at the two of them. Felicity whispered something in Oliver's ear before grabbing Conner's hand and moving it lightly. Oliver dropped a kiss on the top of his head and the one year old was enjoying all the attention he was receiving, "With their little one."_

…

Felicity snapped out of her thoughts when the screen in front of her turned black. She shook her head, pressing a random key on the keyboard trying to bring the screen back to live. She then found herself staring at the headline right underneath the picture.

"_Oliver Queen finally decides to move on."_

Move on.

She closed the lid of the laptop and then placed it on the side. Lying down on the bed, she stared at the ceiling. The tears that had gathered at the corner of her eyes refused to fall.

_Move on._

He had moved on. He had been with her for the past one year and she had been aware of it.

So had she overreacted?

She turned around and buried her face in her pillow. She just wanted to tune everything out.

She just wanted to tune out the fact that he had _moved on._

…

"You're quiet today," Lisa observed while sitting right opposite to Oliver. He had been holding the pen for the past few minutes, his hand hovering over the writing pad.

"I—" He huffed the word out, looking at his doctor and then dropped the pen on the pad. He opened his mouth again to say something but nothing escaped his lips.

There was a lot going on inside his mind.

He still couldn't fathom that two days ago he actually had hope. They say, there is light at the end of tunnel and he felt like he had found it. After everything they had been through, things were finally looking good.

Hadn't they suffered enough?

That was the question he kept asking himself. He couldn't believe that somehow they were in the same situation again. One mistake and everything had shattered. He wished he could go back in time, if he had told her about it right there in Coast City, maybe things would have been different.

Then again, he wished a lot of things to be different.

"Did something happen in Coast City?" Lisa asked tentatively, afraid that he might not answer her back. She had seen Oliver grow in these past few months. At first, he wasn't willing to talk about any of the things he had been through, all he kept demanding was sleeping pills. She was afraid of the fact that he might have recoiled into himself yet again and would refuse to answer her.

"A lot," Oliver let out a hoarse chuckle, "happened in Coast City." He looked down at his hands, his fingers twitching.

_Do you believe in us?_

_I do._

"What all?"

He sniffed, finally looking up, his eyes a little glossy, "We talked, she—she apologized," He started and Lisa's eyes widened a little, a small smile forming on her face, "She forgave me too." He licked his lips, "We almost—"

_Almost kissed._

He stopped right there and then, not completing his sentence. He wasn't sure if his psychiatrist understood it but if she had, he was glad she didn't bring it up.

"And then, the news came out," The psychiatrist spoke and Oliver nodded, "Yeah, it did."

"How do you feel about it?" She asked, leaning against the back of her black leather chair, "Felicity finding out about it. How does it feel?"

"She was always meant to find out about it." Oliver responded, "She did."

"That is not the answer to my question, Oliver," Lisa shot back, "How do you _feel _about it?"

_That's the thing, Oliver. I don't. Not anymore._

"I guess," Oliver sighed, "I guess I feel okay—" He paused, changing his statement the next second, "I will be okay." Lisa raised an eyebrow at that answer, jotting something down in her notebook.

"Why do you think you are not okay about it?" She shot another question his way and Oliver closed his eyes. He knew why he was not okay about it.

He loved her.

He was supposed to be the one to tell her about his relationship with Laurel. He already had pictured everything, she will need time but she would understand that he loved her and wanted to be with her.

But now, he had lost his chance. He had lost the belief she had in him. She would never believe he was in love with her. He wasn't good enough for her because she didn't see the man she wanted to be with in him anymore.

He wasn't.

When he didn't reply back, despite knowing the answer to her question, "Because it affects Felicity's and your relationship." Lisa answered it for him.

"But your relationship with Laurel had been there since the beginning Oliver," She supplied, "After Felicity left, right? Then, why did you care so much about her finding out that you were engaged?" She raised her hands in the air, "I mean, she was your girlfriend, right? You had every right too." She tilted her head a little, "Then why didn't you want Felicity—infact," She paused, "anyone to know that you were engaged."

Oliver shook his head, "People knew. They knew that I had moved on—"

"There," She pointed her index finger at him, "You just wanted people to know that you had _moved on_. You wanted yourself to not be stuck in the past," She reasoned, "I mean, you thought Felicity moved on with Ray, right? You wanted to move on and you wanted Felicity to know."

Oliver pinched the bridge of his nose. When Laurel had asked him out all those years ago, he had agreed to it because he wanted to move on. A year later, he had decided to move on. He had hated being haunted by the thought of Ray and Felicity together.

Then, Laurel asked him out and he found himself saying yes, because why not? He was divorced, he had every right to move on. He had wanted to show Felicity that he had moved on.

Now, the irony was that she did know that he had moved on but he wasn't happy about it.

"Is that what you base a relationship on, Oliver?" She questioned him, "Just moving on but no commitment—"

"I know my relationship with her is not right," Oliver cut her off, "I'll call it quits when she gets better. She just has a lot on her plate right now."

She did.

Yesterday had been really hectic. After he broke his phone, he had collapsed right there in the balcony, his thoughts had shifted back to Felicity and he had vented out all his frustrations. He had cried. She had wanted to be with him and he had lost that opportunity, just like that. He had envisioned a dream but it had shattered before he could even start living it.

Then, Laurel happened. She woke up and suddenly, he had shove his grief away for her. He never knew she had been through so much. Why? Because of lack of love.

_It was still lacking though._

She had told him that she needed him and he was at loss of words. Her eyes were bloodshot, full of tears and she pleaded. She had asked him to be with her.

How was he supposed to say that he didn't love her? Any doubt that he had about not being with her before that was scraped off. It was clear, he couldn't leave her like this.

So, he had decided that he would break up with her once things cool down and she gets better. He was doing all of this to make her get better. Continuing to being in a relationship with her, despite not loving her did not come under that.

Maintaining that façade until she gets better did. He didn't want the situation to get worse. If she needed him right now, he'll be there for her.

It wasn't like he had anybody waiting for him anyway. Felicity and him had parted ways, there was no one waiting for him at the end of the line, right?

At least he could do something right.

At least he won't be responsible for destroying another life.

"Better?" It came out as a question.

"She is having some issues at the moment," He replied, "Alcoholism." He told her, she was his psychiatrist after all.

"Right," She nodded her head in contemplation, "And you think that is a reason for justifying a relationship?"

"No," Oliver sighed, "But that is the reason for not leaving her." Oliver fidgeted with his tie for a second.

_You still haven't learnt how to do this?_

He let it go in a second, sighing the next one. God, he really needed to get her out of his head.

"See, Oliver that's not how this works." His psychiatrist said firmly, "How can you not see it?"

"See what?"

"When was the last time you were happy, Oliver?" She asked him, writing something down in her notebook yet again.

"_Nothing I just missed this."_

"_Yeah, so did I."_

"With—" His eyes burned while he gritted his teeth together, refusing to admit it for his own sake because this didn't seem like a possibility anymore.

Oliver didn't say a word and his doctor knew they were several things going through his head so she chose to say it simply, "Then be with her."

"You think it's that easy?" Oliver chuckled, "She doesn't deserve me."

"Let her decide that." She told him, "It's her choice. How do you know of it if you haven't even tried once, Oliver?" She smiled wryly.

"She already has," He said, "She doesn't."

Lisa was caught off guard for a second, "Then make her. Show it to her. Help Laurel, but don't do it at the cause of your happiness. False hopes won't do her good. What if knowing the truth makes her spiral yet again? Make this truth her strength rather than her weakness."

"My happiness does not exist." He declared and his psychiatrist sighed. She didn't know what would make him realize his wrongs.

"Oliver," Lisa placed her pen on the table, a sign that the session was about to end. "You know what Laurel needs?"

"What?" He asked.

"A reality check," She started, "She needs to get herself together and move on."

This is exactly what Oliver wanted for her. He wanted her to move on and get her life together. He wanted her to start living again.

"_I need you."_

His doctor hadn't seen Laurel. Telling her the truth right now might not be the right decision. He will wait until she gets better. Today morning, she actually agreed to going to ADA because everyone convinced her to. This will progress and he just had to maintain this façade a little longer.

_Façade._

"And for you to do that, you need a reality check too," She supplied, "You have not realized what you've lost yet, which is why you keep making the same mistake again. By the time that happens," She smiled sadly, "I hope it isn't too late."

He was making the same mistake again.

Because he hadn't changed.

_You haven't really changed, have you?_

Maybe Felicity had been right after all.

…

Felicity entered elevator, pressing the button to Walter's floor. She tapped her feet against the elevator floor, watching the numbers that were appearing on the top of elevator door carefully. Walter had messaged her that he wanted to meet Oliver and her. She figured it was about the acquisition.

_Oliver and her._

She didn't know if she could face him. He was in her head, she kept recalling everything they had been through ever since she came back to Starling and somehow, all of them ended at one point, Laurel.

He had moved on with someone else and she had to accept that. She was trying to move ahead in her life to, with someone else. Ed was a nice guy and he was aware about her past, so she had nothing to hide.

Now, all she needed to was move on.

She took a deep breath when the elevator door opened and then, stepped outside of it. Turning right, she walked towards Walter's cabin. She nodded at Walter's secretary in acknowledgement before pushing open the door to his cabin. "Sorry, I might not be—"

She expected both of them to be there, but instead all she saw was Oliver. Her breath got caught in her throat when Oliver turned his chair around. Her hold on the door tightened, nothing escaping her lips. She stared at him, not knowing what to say.

It wasn't supposed to be this awkward between them, is it? They were supposed to start afresh, then why was she feeling this way?

What were they?

"Hey," He started and Felicity sighed, leaning her head against the glass door, "Hi." She said softly.

"Walter's running a little late," Oliver informed her and she hummed in response. Hesitatingly, she pulled the chair right beside him and then sat on it. A puff of air escaped her lips, her hands holding on to the glass table.

_I want to be with you._

God, she needed to just stop. She couldn't let it conquer her, at least not now. She was stronger than this. Her eyes flickered towards his phone that was lying on the table, in a futile attempt to distract herself she murmured out, "New phone?"

Oliver let out a huff as he didn't expect it. At least she was talking to him that was a good sign. Even though, they weren't going to be together the way he wanted it to be, he was glad they hadn't gone back to the way things were before.

But in what way?

What were they now?

"Yeah," He picked it up and raised it in the air, "I sorta—"He tried to shrug it off.

"Broke it," Felicity mumbled under her breath without even realizing it. Oliver stopped his movement, looking at her and the blonde's eyes widened in disbelief, "I mean, you do that, you know. I didn't mean for it to—"

"No, you're right." Oliver nodded his head, "I mean, not much has changed, has it?" He let out a hollow chuckle and Felicity's eyes lowered to the table.

_You really haven't changed at all, have you?_

"Oliver, I—"

"Sorry for the delay," Walter entered his cabin and Felicity straightened, focusing her gaze right in front of her rather than Oliver.

Through her peripheral vision she could see Oliver's fingers twitching and linked her hands together in an attempt to stop doing the same.

_You really haven't changed at all, have you?_

Or had he?

…

**March 2012**

"_Everything is going to change now," Oliver eyed the picture he kept inside his wallet, it was a picture of the two of them—Felicity and Conner._

_She was holding him in the air, a habit she had wanted him to adopt since he threw him in the air. God, she hated him. Conner was smiling, their noses pressed against one another. _

_It was a beautiful picture._

_His beautiful family._

_What was his beautiful family. _

"_I'm so sorry, sweetheart," Moira placed her hand on the top of his head, "I really am." Oliver bit his wobbling lip, "He's gone, mom. He's gone." He mumbled and his mother nodded, trying to understand him but Oliver kept repeating it because he wanted himself to understand it._

_He was gone. _

_His son._

_He was one._

_One._

"_Gone," He kept mumbling, the photo becoming blurry by the second. It didn't matter, did it? This reality was a blur too now. It felt like a part of him had died. He wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. _

_Conner didn't get to live his life. He never got to realize that he was so loved, never even got to see the world properly. He had never gotten to live._

_He was gone before he got to experience any of it._

_He didn't even realize when the tears had started to fall. His hands were shivering. This reality was harsh and cold, he didn't know how to deal with it._

_He felt empty of the inside. _

_His Champ, was gone. _

_He never everything was going to change from now on. A small part of him feared, he would lose Felicity too but he wasn't going to let that happen._

_He'll break if he lost her too._

_A tear drop fell right above the photograph and before he knew it, he was sobbing. It hurt, it hurt so badly and he didn't know how to make it stop. He felt his mom pull him towards her and he collapsed against her, "He just had his birthday, mom. He was just one." _

_Moira hugged him tightly, tears falling from her eyes as well. She tried to shush him but it was all futile. He was sobbing whole heartedly, the pain being too much._

_He had lost his son._

_His Champ._

_And suddenly, everything had changed._

…

Felicity was sitting in her office, the pen in her hand moving to and fro.

_You really haven't changed at all, have you?_

Her thoughts were running a mile per hour. She had been thinking of this before.

Had she overreacted?

The pain had seemed familiar. It was like before, when a little thing used to give Felicity hope but she used to supress it because she wasn't ready to forgive him back then and he had Laurel.

Now, she had forgiven him…and he still had Laurel. It was never hidden from her. He had a girlfriend and now, he had decided to take it to another level and that was his decision.

Solely, his decision. She had no right to call him out for it because it was his life. He had every right to.

It was _his _life.

She wasn't a part of it, not anymore.

So had he given her false hope back then? Was he the one who gave her hope only to take it away?

She took a deep breath, dropping the pen on the table. She raised her hands and cupped her mouth, letting out a deep breath. She closed her eyes and then, started to think about it. Everything they had been through together. From the time, she had entered Starling until now. Heck, she even thought about their life before all of this happened.

They had changed, things had changed. When they had that conversation back in Coast City, somehow Felicity had lost track of everything else.

That momentary happiness had given each of them so much of hope that they had forgotten about everything else. It was just them.

Three years.

It had taken them three years to find each other again. Three years to seek forgiveness from one another, to finally accept things. She had done it too. She had accepted that she had made mistakes. She had accepted that her son was no more. She had accepted they both were different than they were before.

She had accepted that he wasn't the same Oliver that she had met when she entered Starling again. All the anger, the anguish and the sadness inside of him was gone.

So no, he didn't take anything away. He had just gotten carried away just like she had.

Only the reality was far harsher for her than it was for him.

She had said a lot of things to him which she didn't mean. Both had done the same thing. They had just gotten carried away.

She couldn't deny everything because of it. Maybe they should have stopped at being friends, because they had gotten their closure. They had talked, had sorted everything out and now were something.

Friends, the back of her mind supplied.

He was with someone else and she?

She'll figure her life out too.

She chuckled a little to herself. This is what she had always been afraid of. When she had come back here, she had told herself to be careful with her heart. To keep it hidden so that it didn't end up broken.

Now, her heart was on the line again. She had let herself feel and now, here she was.

So, she'll hide her heart again because it wasn't going to happen anyway. He had moved on and he had every right to.

_I want to be with you._

Her eyes burned.

One year.

They had been together for the past one year.

She coughed a little, before pressing the middle finger of her right hand at the corner of her eye to stop the tears from falling.

Yeah, they had just gotten carried away. Both of them.

He was still with her and she was figuring her life out, with or without Ed.

He had moved on and she had accepted it.

She was in love with him.

She had also accepted it.

…

Oliver stared at his computer. The news channel had finally stopped showing that news and Oliver was slightly relieved.

He had been avoiding the reveal for so long because he didn't want Felicity to know of it.

He massaged his forehead, he had always been in love with her, hadn't he? But it took him so long to realize of this.

Now, he had lost that opportunity.

He wasn't worthy of her love now, was he?

_I don't. Not anymore. _

If only he had told her about Laurel back in Coast City, if only he had stopped all of this long ago. Come to think of it, there were a lot of things he wanted to fix but he can't.

He didn't have her by her side. There was hope. At first, he kept telling himself how he was unworthy of Felicity's love and now that she had forgiven him and he had seen the light, he still was unworthy of it.

_Let her decide that. _

But, she had decided. Hadn't she? She told him that she didn't believe in them anymore, her verdict was clear. There was no going back from there.

_Stop hiding one thing behind the other._

What was he really hiding? His mind told him that she meant, his love for Felicity behind his engagement with Laurel but he was going to leave Laurel, wasn't he? He was going to tell her the truth.

When though?

Was he doing this the wisest of decisions? He wanted to hold this off. His doctor told him, that he was sacrificing his own happiness but she didn't realize that Oliver didn't have a shot at happiness at all.

He couldn't go back to her, so it all came down to this. Should he reveal it Laurel now or later? There was already guilt inside of him, he blamed himself for Felicity being hurt. Did he really want to blame himself for Laurel's downfall?

He groaned, he didn't know what to do.

"Oliver," He moved his chair, eyes turning towards the source of the voice and he straightened up almost instantly, "Felicity," He said her name softly and she didn't focus on the way it made her feel.

"I actually wanted to talk to you," She was fidgeting with her hands and Oliver nodded his head, standing up.

"It's about yesterday," She started and Oliver figured that much out. He stopped himself from anticipating anything.

"Yeah?" Oliver breathed out, his fingers twitching. He made his way towards her and Felicity stared at the ground, fidgeting in her position. Her ex-husband stopped in front of her and she looked up, letting out a breath, "Right."

"Right," Oliver echoed her statement, staring in her eyes and Felicity didn't speak for a second, caught off guard. She started to speak but then, her shoulders sagged, a sigh escaping her lips as she tilted her head a little, "I'm sorry,"

Oliver frowned, "What?"

"For yesterday," Felicity started, "I mean, you had moved on—" She pointed her right hand at him, "and I knew of it. Laurel had been your girlfriend since," She laughed a little, "forever! I was aware of it and you had every right to move on in your life," She paused, "with her. Whatever happened in Coast City was just," She nodded, "Nothing. We just got carried away and I overreacted, I'm sorry. Laurel didn't deserve it either."

She shook her head when Oliver didn't say a word. He was looking at her so intensely that she almost forgot how to breathe for a second. She wasn't supposed to feel this way, dammit!

Now that she had seen everything so closely, had realized everything, it somehow had become harder for her to ignore things.

"I mean, we can't forget everything that happened you know? I mean, we have finally found closure now. I can't ignore everything. Whatever this was," She gestured to the space between the two of them, "Has gotten better. I mean, we have come so far. I didn't mean what I said to you," She waved her hands in exaggeration and Oliver caught hold of it, "You didn't mean it?"

His eyes held something similar to last night. That is what her heart told her. Hope, is what her heart said.

_Laurel_ is what her mind reminded.

The battle between them was still ongoing. But, she knew what to choose. Her heart was closed off. She knew it wasn't going to happen.

_One year._

So, she told herself that she had just imagined it. Just like she did it previously. Just like she did all those years ago when Oliver made her feel gooey on the inside but he was with Laurel.

Seemed like they were back there.

"Yeah. I mean, we have changed." She told him, "We did talk back in Coast City. We –" She paused, looking for the right word.

What were they now?

"-can be friends?" It came out like a question. They had to work together and now, they got along. "I mean, we are friends now, right?" She looked at him for confirmation, "We couldn't deny everything. Sure, the part that happened after the whole I believe in us is just ignored because of course," She shrugged, "I mean, you have Laurel. It wasn't fair to her or us because there was nothing—"

He stopped her in between, his hand grabbing the one she had in air. He was close to her and suddenly, she had lost her ability to speak, "Felicity," He said her name softly and she didn't blink her eyes once, "I'm sorry."

She stopped breathing for a second and he shot her a sad smile. It made her feel those things yet again but she didn't listen to her heart. A small whimper came out of his lips, "For not telling you about it. I should have," He looked down at their joined hands, "For everything."

She looked at their joined hands and nodded her head.

Oliver's heart ha shattered into pieces when she let out the word, 'Friends'. For a split second, it felt like she understood that he wanted to be with her but it was all futile. She wanted to be 'friends'

It was better than hate, wasn't it? She was still in his life.

Friends.

It should have made him feel better. The guilt that was inside of him, should have gotten better. But nothing happened.

"Friends," He echoed the word as if uttering it would make him accept it. It was better than what he thought at least, "Yeah." Felicity's expression wavered a little. She knew she had to be strong but it was getting harder to do that. She sniffed, pulling her hand away from him and Oliver was stunned for a second, his hand staying right where it was. His fingers curled a little at the loss of contact.

"So, Sara is with Laurel and thanks to you, she finally agreed for ADA—"Tommy stopped at the threshold of Oliver's cabin, his eyes landing on Felicity and Oliver.

Felicity stared at the ground and scrunched a nose a little, wiping the tear at the corner of her eye. She looked up, finally meeting Tommy's eyes and shot him a smile. "Tommy," She greeted him. They hadn't really talked properly ever since she came to back to the city, so talking now was out of question.

"I should—I should go," She pointed at the door and Oliver nodded, "Yeah," He fisted his hands and made his way back to his table. He turned his back deliberately, trying to get himself together. He placed his hands on it and leaned against it. Letting out a puff of air, he finally turned around having gained his composure successfully.

"Tommy," He shot him a smile and his best friend nodded although he looked a little lost.

Just when he was trying to forget about it, he heard Gerry's voice. Through the glass wall, he could see he had moved his chair a little and then he heard it, "Mr. Raymond is on the line for you."

"Ed?" Felicity murmured, reaching for her phone that was kept in the back pocket of her jeans. "He's calling my office?" Opening her phone she realized they were two missed calls from Ed and frowned, "Okay."

"Mr. Raymond as in Ed?" She heard Oliver behind her and pivoted her head a little for replying back, "Yeah."

She turned back and jumped a little when she heard something falling to the ground. She didn't turn around because she knew what had happened. Through her peripheral vision she could make it that Oliver had thrown something yet again.

Her eyes _burned._

She really hated this habit of his. It always happened during extreme situations.

Was this one?

There it was again. Something that gave her a little hope that he felt the same for her.

She shot Tommy a wry smile before walking out.

But, she was ignoring it, yet again.

…

Tommy watched Felicity leaved and then, shut the door, his head turning towards Oliver, "What was that?"

Oliver closed his eyes, cursing under his breath, "Nothing." His eyes landed on the pen stand that was now on the ground, "Dammit."

"That didn't look like nothing," Tommy's voice rose a little and suddenly, everything came back. He had been so invested in Laurel that he had forgotten about Oliver.

_The voicemail._

He had wanted to break up with Laurel but then he didn't because, his face coiled as it finally hit him, "Don't do this for Laurel, Oliver."

He loved Laurel, he really did and he was aware of that fact that Oliver _didn't. _He had always been adamant that Oliver had only loved Felicity but then, when they started to date again his belief shattered.

But now, she was back and it was clear as crystal, he was in love with Felicity.

(A small part of him, a rather insecure one still believed maybe they'll be together forever though.)

But he refused to leave Laurel because he thought leaving her would make her condition worse. Tommy had been so invested in Laurel that he had completely forgotten about the fact that Oliver wanted to break up with her, "She needs to know the truth."

Come to think of it, she did. He knew what Oliver was thinking but it was a short term solution, not a long term one, "Don't do it at the price of your own happiness."

"Mine doesn't exist," He said, finally standing away from the table. His hands were right by his side, his fingers rubbing against one another.

"Losing the love of your life is hard, Oliver," He said this from experience, "Don't do this while you still have a chance to be with her."

Oliver frowned, "I thought you were over her," which caused Tommy to shake his head and retaliate, "I thought you were over _her."_

"I'm sorry Tommy," Oliver didn't know how he had done it for all these years, "Now, is just not the right time." He shot him a wry smile, "I'm just—I'm really sorry."

Tommy murmured, "I know." He understood, "But now has to be the right time, Oliver. Or else you would lose her forever."

Oliver looked down at the ground, his voice soft, "I already have."

…

Tommy made his way to Laurel's home, his mind still in a conflict. He wasn't sure if he should tell her the truth. Today, all of them had sat together and had convinced her to go to ADA because she needed help. She had agreed to it. So was telling her about this the wisest of move?

At least right now?

He knew it would be hard for her but what was he supposed to do? He couldn't let Oliver lose Felicity. He didn't want it to happen too late and for him to lose her.

God knows, losing the love of her life was hard.

So, he went to Laurel's house. He was supposed to go there anyway, just like he did for the past two months wanting to check on her. He had seen Laurel spiral badly, had tried his best to help her. Even Lance knew of it but all efforts were futile.

He had watched her destroy herself and it hurt. It hurt because despite everything, his efforts were futile. She didn't see how much he cared for her. How much he loved her.

And the man that she loved? He was in love with someone else.

He was caught in between two of his best friends but he had made his choice. He had to do right by Oliver. It was going to be hard for Laurel, but he was going to be there for her. She needed this new start. He will be by her side.

He sighed to himself, just like he always was. He didn't know why he never moved on. Why he still had that hope inside of him that there will be a time when she will _see _him. God dammit, she was engaged to someone else but he still had hope.

_I thought you were over her. _

No, no he wasn't because he was a goddamn fool.

He shook his head, ignoring the tears that were forming in his eyes. He knocked the door and waited for someone to open but when no one did, he reached for the key that was kept in his back pocket and opened it, "Laurel?" He called out, "Sara?" But neither of the Lance sisters answered him back.

He opened the door to her room and cursed under his breath, "You've got to be fucking kidding me."

Laurel threw away the bottle she had just opened on the bed in frustration, "Not now, Tommy." He had reached here just in time before she could swallow those pills.

Laurel ran a hand through her hair, thinking of whatever had happened. Oliver had decided to be with her, so why didn't it feel good? Why did she still feel hollow on the inside?

All this while, all that she wanted was him so why didn't it feel good? Why was this happening to her? She closed her eyes in frustration.

Tommy suddenly had forgotten about everything. The only thing that was going through his head was that the love of his life was destroying herself.

_Even _with Oliver around.

He had watched her fall for the last two months. It suddenly became too overwhelming for him. She had agreed to take care of herself but she wasn't.

_She was never going to._

Just like, she never realized that he loved her.

The worst part was there was no remorse from her side.

"Why are you doing this to yourself, Laurel?" His voice broke and the woman in question scoffed, "You think I can control this." She shrugged her shoulders, "I can't."

"You talked to your dad this morning, didn't you?" Tommy retorted, "You promised him, Oliver, _I _that you would try your best. At least show a little remorse,"

This was what hitting the hardest. It wasn't like he held her responsible for going back to it. They had talked within themselves. They were never going to leave her alone. She could spiral anytime.

The thing, she wasn't even_ sorry. _She had been too deep into her problems that she wasn't able to see how this was affecting her, _him_ and all the others.

"What remorse? It's my life that is getting ruined."

"Exactly. For ruining your life," Tommy started, "For ruining other people's belief. At least be sorry about it."

"I am sorry about it! This is me feeling," She raised her hands in the air, "sorry for my life!"

Tommy shook his head, "Sorry for what? Because Oliver doesn't love you?" He paused, "What about the people who do?"

"I don't want to have this conversation with you," Laurel got off her bed, "Where is Sara? She went to get groc—"

"No, answer me!" Tommy had finally had it.

He had loved her for so long. She had never seen it. Instead, she had always seen Oliver, the one man who wasn't even in love with her.

"Oliver is with me, Tommy!" She said it to his face, "with me! He loves me!" She closed her eyes, tears falling from them, "I know it!"

"Then why are you doing all of this?" He gestured towards her bed before picking up the bottle, "We got rid of it, didn't we? How'd you get this back? Did you buy it?" He nodded his head, "If Oliver loves you so much and why are you destroying your life?"

Laurel didn't meet his eyes, choosing to walk right past him but he stopped her by grabbing her hand. His shoulders sagged, his eyes glossy, "You're never going to see it, are you?"

"See what?" Laurel asked.

"That I love you," He said it clearly and Laurel's face fell, "That you deserve better than this. All of this." He sniffed, "You're so blind. You just want this idea of yours to get true. You are not thinking of _anyone._"

"That's not true." She reached forward, "I care for you, Tommy—"

"No," He pulled away, avoiding her touch, "You don't. Otherwise you would have listened. You would have seen how much it is destroying me on the inside, seeing you like this."

"I—"

"But you never will," It had dawned on him, "Just like you will never see that Oliver loves someone else. That man is sacrificing his own happiness for you." He pointed at her, "But you will never see it, will you?" He took a deep breath, it was getting harder to breathe, "I'm done."

"What?" Laurel sounded flustered.

"I'm done feeling this way," He raised his hands in the air, "I'm done being in love with you." He pressed his palms against his eyes, "I'm done."

"Tomm—" She hesitated.

"No," Tommy had finally realized this and there was _no _going back, "Just remember Laurel that you are an alcoholic." He stared in her eyes, "And they are people out there who love you and who don't. Start seeing the reality, Laurel. This will become easier."

Just like he had seen the reality.

It might be harsh at first, but it well get better. It had to get better.

"..And what about you?"

Tommy smiled through his pain, "I'm done." He paused, "I've loved you since forever, Laurel." His shoulders sagged, "I'm done."

Laurel's mouth parted open in disbelief and Tommy shook his head, "I just—" His shoulders sagged, "I need to be away from you for a little while."

"Don't—" Tommy moved away, choosing to head through the door. He didn't see Laurel collapse on the bed and he honestly didn't care at the moment. Wiping the tears from his eyes, he made a beeline towards the door of the house.

_All she needs is a reality check._

He would probably wait for Sara or Oliver to show up because he couldn't leave her alone. He still cared for her.

But the realization had dawned on him, she didn't love him. She could never love him and he was okay with it.

At least, he will be.

…

_Tommy stared at Oliver, refusing to believe any of the words that was coming out from his mouth. He had been ranting about Felicity had cheated on him and he wasn't ready to believe in it._

_It was Felicity. She loved Oliver more than anything. Sure, she wouldn't do anything like that._

_She loved Oliver so much. He knew of it, they had talked multiple times about it._

_So, why was his best friend talking like this?_

"_She cheated," Oliver looked broken, his eyes bloodshot, cheeks marred with tears, "She cheated!" His voice became louder and he threw the file he was holding on the floor. Tommy and Thea watched the pages fly before it landed on the ground. Looking at those sheets, Thea realized it was divorce papers._

_Divorce papers which he had already signed._

"_What is this?" She yelled, all of this being too much for her. She knew that the two of them weren't working out, but divorce? When had this happened?_

_For all she knew, they were trying their hand at this relationship. They were trying to get better. When had this happened?_

"_Oliver, I'm sure she didn't—"Tommy tried to reach for him but Oliver pushed him away, "I don't need anybody's help!" He screamed, "I'm on my own." He mumbled, "On my own."_

"_Ollie, snap out of it!" Thea glared at him, "This is divorce you are talking about. Divorce," She gritted her teeth, "This is not a child's play, dammit!"_

"_I have thought about it," He said to her, "Mom was right. This was never going to work out. She cheated," He whimpered, "Cheated."_

"_No, she wouldn't!" Thea protested, "She loves you, Ollie." Her voice softened, "Think about this calmly, okay? She didn't do—"_

"_No!" Oliver staggered backwards, "She is going to leave with Palmer for Central City. She has been lying to me," He cried, "She had been with him all this time."_

"_He's her best friend!"_

_Oliver shook his head, "You don't get it." He repeated, this time laughing, "You don't get it." But all Tommy could make out was the pain behind it. He was mocking them, "She is going to leave you all and then you will see! You all!" With that, he turned around in anger._

_Tommy collapsed on the couch, a frown on his face. He could hear Thea calling out for Oliver but had to get himself together first._

_She'll leave you all._

_He shook his head, Felicity would never do that to Oliver or any of them. She loved him way too much for it. He was the one she always talked about this with, surely he couldn't be wrong._

_Except he was._

_Because the next day, she did leave._

_She left Oliver behind._

_She left all of them behind._

…

Felicity sat on her sofa, her eyes fixed on the television screen. She was watching Doctor Who again, because Doctor Who never gets old and she needed something to calm herself down after this long day.

The day had been pretty draining, both emotionally and physically. She hadn't slept last night and she knew she was going to collapse soon. Hopefully, she'll get a good sleep, after all everything has been settled now.

_Friends._

She swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat, choosing to focus on the show instead. Digging her spoon in the tub full of mint, she let herself forget about everything.

Honestly, she needed to forget about everything.

She was about to go for another bite when the doorbell rang. She frowned and looked at the door before looking at the wall clock. It was almost eleven pm and she placed the spoon into the tub and kept it on the table in front of her followed by wiping her hands on her pyjamas. She paused the show and then got up, heading towards the door.

She stood on her tippy toes, peeping through the eye piece to see who it was on the other end and her eyes widened.

She moved back, what was he doing here?

She took a deep breath and then opened the door, not knowing how to greet him. The man on the other end chuckled, his eyes bloodshot and Felicity's heart broke, "Tommy."

"I didn't know," He leaned his head against the edge of the door, "where else to go." He sniffed a little and Felicity felt her stomach drop. She knew what this was about.

It was just like old times.

The smile on her face didn't help her, it didn't stop the tears from forming, "Let me guess, Laurel?"

"Let me guess," Tommy played the game too, "Oliver?" He closed his eyes in realization. A small part of him hoped that Oliver had come to his senses and had finally listened to him.

But, nothing of that sort had happened.

He didn't even think before coming here. There was always one person who heard him about Laurel. The one person who encouraged him to move on from and the one person, who helped with him with it.

It was funny how they were back in the same position again. Years later, it was still the same. The two of them bonding over their unrequited love for two people who were together.

"Come on in, Merlyn." Tommy shook his head and got inside as Felicity shut the door behind him, "This is," He turned around, trying to examine her entire house, "Nice."

"Thank you," Felicity nodded her head, "Now, red wine?" She already knew the answer to it, so she made a beeline towards the kitchen.

"You know it," He murmured, sitting on the sofa. He pressed himself against it and placed his elbows on his knees, holding his head in his hands.

He took a deep breath. He needed to get himself together. The reason why he came here was because he knew, Felicity understood him. She had always understood him.

But, he had been a douche to her. He had never done anything by her. Infact, he had believed that she indeed cheated on Oliver.

It's like he forgot what she was like.

_You didn't stand up for me then, don't ruin it by standing up for me now_

God, he had been a jerk to her_._

He felt her sit on the other end of the couch and turned his head towards the right, "How come you're so nice to me?"

"Well," Felicity hadn't really thought about it, but it didn't hurt anymore, "The past is the past." She handed him his drink, "And an apology would be just fine."

Tommy huffed out a chuckle, his face turning serious the next second, "I'm sorry, Felicity." She closed her eyes and acknowledged him, "For everything."

_For not believing you._

_For not trusting you._

_Suicide._

Tommy's hold on the wine glass tightened, "I really am."

It didn't hurt. She was over the past now. She needed a fresh start. From everything. "It's okay," She whispered, somehow happy that she was letting all of this out, "I really am."

She forgave Oliver because she was over it. There was a time when their words hurt but now, she was past it.

Now, old things didn't hurt. _New ones _did.

"Mint chip is right there," She pointed behind him, to the tub of ice cream and Tommy laughed, "No rocky road?"

"Well, I didn't know you were going to show up," Felicity shrugged her shoulders and then narrowed her eyes, "Or else I would have stocked my fridge."

Tommy smiled at her, having a sip from his wine glass. He looked forward, his eyes landing on the tv set, "Doctor Who?" He looked at the ground, "Things still haven't changed much, have they?"

"You tell me," Felicity tilted her heard towards the left, landing on the sofa, "Have they?"

"Seven years," He said through his tears, a sigh escaping his lips, "You'd think I would have learnt a thing or two," He brought his thumb to his nose, trying to wipe away the moisture, "But she will never see me, Felicity." He looked at his friend, "Never has. Never will."

Felicity eyed the wine glass, the finger of her right hand encircling the rim of it.

_Because she loved Oliver. _

She didn't voice it out though, instead looked at Tommy, "I'm sorry," She shot him a sad smile, "Guess somethings are just never meant to happen," She was referring to both of them.

Tommy continued to look at her, "He loves you, Felicity." He told her and Felicity laughed a little, "No, he doesn't." She replied, "But thanks for that." She finally sipped her wine.

"He does," Tommy didn't waver, leaning completely against the sofa, "He is just stupid enough to not fight for it,"

"Right," Felicity just nodded her head, not contradicting it. "How'd you know?" She asked next and Tommy frowned, "Know what?"

She stretched her legs a little, "That I love him? From what you know, Oliver and I still hate one another." She stated, "Or does he like, talk about me?" She asked in an amused tone and Tommy knew she expected to be a joke.

"You love him." Tommy declared and it was then when Felicity realized what she had said, "I mean," She closed her eyes, trying to change the subject, "You know what I mean. I just—"

"You know, you admitted it before too. When I asked about Oliver," He raised an eyebrow in her direction, "You don't have to hide from me, Smoak."

Felicity laughed, using the fingers of her right hand to wipe away the tears, "Right." She smiled and then came to a realization, "I guess talking about it makes it real, you know?"

"And you're not ready for that?"

"I was," Felicity started, "But then, it didn't happen." Her voice softened, "I guess it just hurts you know? Seeing it this close and then it is..." She lowered her eyes, "Gone."

_Gone._

She guessed this is what hurt the most. She had envisioned it, had dreamed of it and it was all just gone now. It made it all the more painful. A small part of her wishing that it had never happened in the first place.

"You see it so closely. Something that gives you hope and then, it is ripped apart from you. That is what hurts the most," He nodded, "Maybe they shouldn't have come that close if nothing had to happen."

"Yeah," Felicity nodded before she shook her head, trying to get rid of this thought, "Anyways," She decided to change the topic, "Tell me what happened with Laurel?"

"She has just lost herself, you know?" He told her, "She isn't aware of what she is doing to herself." He stopped, frowning a little. Should he tell Felicity about this?

"You know, Felicity the real reason—" He was stopped short by Felicity's phone going on off. She raised her index finger, telling him to stop and opened it, a smile coming on her face when she realized it was good night text from Ed.

"Who is it?" Tommy asked and Felicity replied back in a second, putting the phone down in the next one, "Ed."

"Wait," Tommy frowned, "The one who called at the office, today?"

"Yeah," Felicity placed the phone in her lap.

"Is he a nice guy?" Tommy asked her and she nodded, "Yeah. He knows about Oliver," She reasoned, "We might go on a date next week."

"Date," Tommy echoed, tilting his head a little, "Here we are still struggling and you might—" Felicity hit him with her foot, stopping him from talking. Tommy dodged tried to dodge her but failed, laughter erupting from his lips.

"I think you should move on too," Felicity told him, "It's like you said, Tommy. Seven years." She said, "You deserve better."

"I mean, we both know they are together." She raised her hands, in a manner that said 'of course', "They always are together. Oliver and Laurel," She looked down at her hands, "Gorgeous Laurel." She played with the fingers of her right hand, "It doesn't even matter. I should have seen it." She shook her head.

One year, he had been dating her for one year. She had stupid enough to think it would ever work out.

A year's relationship couldn't be forgotten like that. He had decided to move on a long time ago and she was okay with it. He had found someone else to be with and she was fine with it.

She was _fine._

"You should have seen it?" Tommy frowned, "I mean, he moved on! Not that I'm blaming him," She clarified, "He had every right to! It just sucks…for me," She laughed, "I mean, I never had the guts to date, you know? This," She raised her phone in the air, "is the first one who I am actually thinking of dating _properly. _Not casually. So maybe it doesn't really suck," She frowned, "I am happy."

"Happy?" Tommy questioned her and she nodded, "Or at least I will be. I'll figure my life out, Tommy. With or without him,"

_Happy._

"Oliver chose wrong, Felicity," He turned towards her properly, "He chose wrong."

He did. What he should have done is fight for this woman, but what is doing is with someone who he doesn't even love.

Or, well he was still with her. So maybe, he did love her after all.

He just knew that amongst this entire mess, Felicity had been the one to suffer the most and he won't damage her happiness. All he could hope and try for was for Oliver to get it together.

But he won't damage her happiness. Not when he was still with her, not when they were the ones who did all of this to her.

_Suicide._

Sometimes, it still haunted him. They were the reason to push her over to that edge and maybe someday he'll earn her forgiveness for that but right now, he realized he couldn't jeopardize her happiness.

Not when, he wasn't sure Oliver would be with her or not.

Oliver was _still _with Laurel.

Oliver was _still _in love with her.

Oliver was _still _not trying to be with her.

In a twisted way, Tommy felt like history was repeating itself and Oliver continued to make the wrong choices. After everything they had been through, he chose the easy way out.

Maybe her moving on would be the final push for him. He just hoped he wasn't wrong.

He just hoped, Oliver gets it together.

His best friend had to be the one to the fighting. It wasn't about Laurel anymore. There is a part of him that felt like maybe they will somehow stick together but that was his insecurity talking. This was the reason why he wasn't telling Felicity anything. What if Oliver still doesn't get it together and Felicity is left being hopeful, yet again?

_Don't lose faith in him. _

That is what he wanted to tell her, but what if it ended up nowhere?

Tommy can only try but it was _his _final call and he hadn't made the right decision yet. He'll try and knock some sense into him again because that is the least he could do.

He'll do it for her, but it was his call.

He hoped by the time Oliver made it, it wasn't too late.

_Mine doesn't exist._

It does.

"No, he didn't," Felicity retaliated and Tommy scoffed, eyes snapping shut, "He was a dream, Tommy. _My _dream." Her eyes lowered, a tear falling from the right one, "It shattered."

**That's it. **

**Hope you all liked it!**

**IMPORTANT A/N : **

**Now, a lot of people said they can in full circle. But if you see it, this is just a bump in the road. Somehow, history is repeating itself. The question is, will they repeat the same mistakes as before? **

**Back then, Oliver doubted Felicity's love for him and Felicity doubted herself. Now, Oliver doubts himself and Felicity doubts their love for one another. **

**History is repeating itself, will the outcome be same?**

…

**Thank you for reading! Reviews are always appreciated. You can PM or reach me on twitter! Thank you to everyone who made this story what it is today!**

**Also I thought people knew it via twitter which is why I didn't say it here. My bad. My college has started which means, two or three updates a month? I'll try my best. I'm sorry for not mentioning this here. **

**Thank you for showing your commitment to the story, I am here because of you all.**

**Seeya next time**

**Srishti x **


	31. Chapter Twenty Seven : Future

**Hola! Thank you for the reviews. I understand all of your point of view and hopefully this chapter will clear a lot of things xD **

**Also, I can talk to a few reviewers via PM but unfortunately, guest reviews don't allow us to talk. So if somebody wants to talk about something with me…approach me on twitter or AO3? I hope this works out fine xD**

**I'm excited for this chapter. Hopefully you all will like it too x **

**Word Count : 15375**

**Disclaimer : I don't own anything that seems familiar.**

"**I wanted you to fight for me. Something worth fighting for."**

**Chapter Twenty Seven : Future**

Oliver stared at himself in the mirror, fixing his tie a little. He knew he wasn't in the best shape. His days weren't going well. His eyes had dark circles underneath them, he hadn't shaved for days. He wasn't sleeping much lately, his mind preoccupied by things.

It was the thought of Felicity. He dreamt of her at times. Sometimes, it was painful reminding him of the things that he couldn't have and sometimes, it was filled with joy but reality pinched him instead.

Both sets of dreams did not leave a good after effect. It was almost like he had been transferred back to the past, when he tortured himself by imagining Ray and Felicity together.

This time it was Ed.

But this time, it was her choice and maybe he deserved her.

He really missed his old life. A life where he was happy. He was a husband, a father, a son—everything might not have been perfect but it was _his _world. His family and somehow, he had lost all of them. Slowly and steadily, everything had slipped through his fingers like sand and he hadn't even realized it.

Until he was standing alone and it hurt. The pain inside of his chest became worse every day. He saw her daily, they talked but it was almost as if he couldn't reach her.

So close yet so far. The distance between felt like miles even when she was right next to him.

"Ollie," Thea entered his room and he pivoted his head in her direction, pinching the bridge of his nose, a small sniff escaping him, "Yeah?"

"You're getting ready," Thea frowned, leaning against the edge of the door, "It's Sunday?" She said in more a 'duh' tone and Oliver shook his head, "I just have work today." He nodded his head.

He didn't. But as much painful as it was, going to work made him feel a little better than staying at the mansion. It distracted him from all of this every once a while and as painful as it was.

He _liked_ seeing Felicity daily. Somehow, this entire CEO thing had become a blessing for him. It had brought her back to him, caused them to confront the reality, to put them past each other.

Ironically, it still hurt though.

"On a Sunday," Thea declared, shaking her head the next minute, "I don't get this business, honestly." Oliver let out a small chuckle, picking up his watch from the table, "You wanted to talk about something?" He asked, putting it on his wrist.

Thea opened her mouth to say something but stopped short, shaking her head. She didn't know how he would react to it. "Laurel is up," is what she finally chose to tell him and he nodded, "When's the ADA at?" His eyes didn't leave his watch, "Afternoon," She answered back and Oliver nodded, finally done. He walked towards her and then dropped a kiss on the top of her head, "You know what to do then,"

"Actually I was wondering if you could pick her up." Thea's eyes widened a little, Oliver's eyebrows rose. He didn't have much of a problem, but he usually tried to avoid—never mind, "Why?"

"We have this plan," She sounded a little excited, "Tommy convinced Felicity to meet with us. So, I thought—" She stopped, a light bulb moment happening, "In fact, you know what? You should join us too. I'll invite Digg too,"

"Digg's back from Corto Maltese?" Thea hummed in response but didn't stop, "Come on, it'll be fun. I would have invited Laurel but—" She wasn't going to make this worse, she thought there was something between Oliver and Felicity, because he had gone to her and not Laurel, but he was still with her so maybe it was just as friends because he was engaged to someone else.

Come to think, they can never be Oliver and Felicity. When he started dating again she had been thrilled because Oliver deserved to move on. It had taken her some time to get used to the fact that Felicity had done what they thought she did. It was hard to believe but her brother was so broken, she was sure that it must be true then. He had been a mess for two years, they kept him away from everything. Then, he moved on and she was happy. Although she was aware of that it couldn't be the way it was before.

Laurel and Oliver had never really been one of her favourite couples. They were messy. It made her cringe but he was mature now, so she thought it might be the right fit. It still bothered a little, but it was his choice.

They were _still _messy but she ignored it. Oliver was her brother, Laurel was a friend but she ignored it.

His happiness mattered. But it seemed like it had vanished away, her heart told her it might be because he still cared for Felicity, she had not forgotten the encounter they had after he came from Coast City but he was still with Laurel, so she didn't say a word.

Maybe it lied with her.

"Ollie," She started again, this time wanting to ask it, "Is everything okay between Laurel and you?" Oliver frowned, his eyes turning towards the floor and Thea continued, wanting to seek an explanation, "I mean, you haven't shaved in days. You stay in your room most of the time. It doesn't—" She didn't want to say it, "It doesn't seem like two people who are about to get married, you know? I know Laurel is a mess right now and you're helping so much but it," She paused, "just doesn't."

Like Thea said, they had always been messy but something seemed off lately but they were still together so she didn't question anything.

"I'll see what I can do about Laurel," Oliver chose to ignore her and Thea sighed, shaking her head. Did she expect anything less? "You don't worry your tiny head about anything," He hit the top of her head lightly and she rolled her eyes, "Stop treating me like I'm little."

"You are little, speedy." Oliver shook his head, an amused smile on his face as he got out of the room. Thea followed suit, dissatisfied with the answer she got but she let it go.

"Hey you both," Oliver stopped in between, only to find Laurel in front of him. Thea frowned and turned her head forward, wanting to see who it was and smiled, "Hey Laurel,"

She stood in front of them, her hands in the back pockets on her jeans, "How are you feeling?" Oliver cut to the chase. Come to think of it, she had been better lately. She hadn't been reaching for alcohols the way she did before.

Maybe something had changed.

Sometimes, it made Oliver want to tell her the truth. She was getting better. He had tried that last week but he backed out the last minute. Maybe he should do it. It had only be a couple of days but he was aware this was wrong.

_Stop hiding one thing behind the other._

This is what his psychiatrist was talking about, right? This is what was Tommy talking about. He wanted to keep this façade on to make her feel better, but she was. He would tell her the truth soon. Delaying it way too much would ruin it too.

"Ollie, I—" She wanted to say something and Oliver's eyebrows furrowed but before Laurel could complete her sentence, there was a shout from downstairs calling them from breakfast. The brunette stopped talking, the words dying in her mouth and Oliver didn't notice. He just smiled at her, mumbling, "Later."

_Later._

He didn't know what they will talk about later. They had nothing to talk about but her health. It was funny to be honest. How long had it taken him to realize what kind of a relationship he had been in.

Felicity had been governing this without even knowing. He had been so blind about moving on. She had moved on, that is what he had kept telling himself but it was totally different.

"I should go," He looked at Thea who frowned, "Breakfast?"

"I'm not hungry," He smiled wryly, "I'll have something on my way." Thea started to protest but Oliver cut her off, "I'll see if I can make it okay?" His voice was soft and then he started to walk straight ahead, moving right past Laurel who he shot a smile.

He hated pretending to be fine. Like he said, it was like he was back where he had been before. When Conner had died and he had to hide himself from everybody.

Yeah, Oliver Queen's life was a mess.

…

Felicity stared at the iPad, her head lying on the palm of her hand, "So, you are over Oliver?" Courtney echoed her statement and Felicity nodded her, her eyes closing as if trying to show her conviction. She was lying on her bed and face timing with her friend. It was a Sunday, which meant a free day for Felicity so she was finally able to make out some time for this.

It had been a hectic few days. Every day she had to remind herself of the fact that Oliver is a friend of hers. Somehow, they were back in the same position again. When she had moved back to Starling.

Perhaps it was because, she had _seen _it. Looking it so close, a life that she had envisioned and hoped for and then, it was taken away.

Come to think of it, this was handling it really well. Sometimes, she had flashes of the time when she had first shifted to Central City. At least, that didn't hurt anymore. She was past that point. She had forgiven Oliver, he had forgiven her. They were past that.

Some other wounds were still open though.

It will get better.

It had to.

"Yeah, I mean," Felicity started to ramble, "You said that it was about time I get used to reality. So, this is me being used to it. It just isn't," Her voice softened, she started speaking slowly, "what I had in," Her eyes landing on her bed spread, "mind."

Courtney sighed, her eyes snapping shut as if she could feel the pain Felicity was trying to hide. She tried to change the topic, "So Ed, right?"

"Ed is a senior reporter," Felicity pouted her lips, her head nodding, "He's a nice guy. He likes me," She pointed at herself and her friend smiled, "He knows about Oliver too. I want to give us a chance. The two of us," She sighed, a grin appearing on her face, "I want to move on! I just hate being stuck in the past you know, the only one who is," She pressed her lips together, "stuck in the past."

"You're not stuck in the past," Courtney contradicted and Felicity frowned, "Not anymore." Her friend smiled. She had heard everything that had happened. They were so many things she had been unware of before but Felicity had filled her in. There was a time she had been rooting for the two of them to be together, then she discovered the truth and she faltered. She didn't want her friend to be with a man like that.

Except, he wasn't that anymore and that gave her hope. Because she knew, Felicity loved him but maybe it wasn't in the cards.

She didn't know how he was still with Laurel. From what she knew, the relationship wasn't the best but who was she to judge.

She just wanted Felicity to be happy and now she can be, Felicity had found her closure. Courtney had seen her change. She had accepted Conner's death, had forgiven Oliver and now, finally she was trying to move on.

Without Oliver. It broke her on the inside that despite everything she had been through, she still couldn't be with the person she wanted to be. She still couldn't be happy.

But she was still smiling, albeit it was a little off but she was. She was still trying to keep her head held high and move on.

It made her feel like a proud mother. She wasn't the same person she had left behind in Starling. This woman was different and it calmed her down a little, "As long as it makes you happy, Felicity."

"It does," She gave her a toothed smiled, "Or at least it should, theoretically." She said as an afterthought, "Moving on."

Courtney smiled, if she would have been in Felicity's place she would have left the place. But it was Felicity, of course this woman won't falter.

"Leaving Starling?" Felicity echoed and Courtney realized she had said it out loud. Her eyes widened, her mouth parting open in disbelief, "I've never thought about it." She mumbled, biting her lip.

She never had. Now that she thought about it should have been the first thought that should have hit her head. Her job here was done. The company was rising, she finally had some sort of closure.

So, why didn't it hit her head?

"Felicity," Courtney tried to change the topic, "Tell me about this date with Ed,"

"Huh," She didn't mumble anything, "We are going out tonight and I have lunch with Thea and the others in the afternoon,"

_Thea._

_Tommy._

_Diggle._

_Conner._

She had reasons to stay now.

_Oliver._

She didn't expect this. When she entered this place, she had wanted to leave almost instantly. It hurt being here.

It still did. Oliver was with someone else. It still hurt her. A small part of her still wished she hadn't come here, because it would have stopped her from facing all of this.

But she didn't want.

_Oliver._

She removed her hand from underneath her chin and placed them on the bed. Why didn't she want to leave, anymore?

"Thea and all?" Courtney grinned at this, "That's progress, Felicity! I didn't know you were talking to them. Tell me they apologized,"

"They did," Felicity nodded her head, "Most of them did. I didn't expect them to," She shook her head, "Thea has been trying for so long, you know? And it doesn't hurt," She stretched her hands, "I mean it does, but not the same things and not as much," She raised her hands in surrender.

"It still hurts though," Courtney murmured, her eyes filling with tears.

It was unfair, so unfair.

"I'll be fine," She blew her a kiss, "Everything will be alright." She tried to mask her pain.

Courtney hoped so too.

Oliver and Felicity both had suffered a lot. From losing a child, to losing each other, to losing themselves—they had been through a lot.

She wasn't really sure where Oliver's happiness lied anymore. She was aware of Felicity's.

She hope she found hers.

She really did.

...

**June 2012**

"_Everything will be alright," Ray assured Felicity who was sitting on her bed, holding on to the cordless phone like her life depended on it._

_She left._

_She didn't have any one left there. Conner and Oliver had been her life and she had lost both of them._

_She hadn't even realized how. One minute, everything was so perfect and the next minute, it was all gone._

_She killed him. Took her son away from and he? Flashes of what happened that night filled her mind, and even though a small part of her thought she deserved it, it made her feel disgusting._

_He slept with someone else._

_Every time she closed her eyes, she imagined her arms around her husband. Her ex-husband now. Everything about that place was tainted now._

_Everything. _

"_You should call them, let them know." Her best friend told her and Felicity bit her lip. The way she had left was abrupt. She just didn't want anyone stopping her. This was the reason why she didn't reveal the truth to anyone. As much as she wanted to, they would have dragged her back to the city, to him._

_She was done._

_She wanted to move from Starling, as a new beginning. For a little while, something that made her forget about the tragedy that happened in her life with Oliver. Unfortunately for her, this beginning had to be without Oliver._

_It had been a couple of days since that and she had started to wonder whether if she should, tells others about where she was. She had blocked her number. There was no way left to contact her. _

_Her family must be worried._

…_Or did they think about her the same way as Oliver?_

_She killed Conner._

_All the progress she had made so far was gone. The thought of Conner made her want to curl up in a ball and cry. It was clawing her on the inside. His absence. She was the one who took his life away._

_Ironically, Oliver had made it worse. _

_She breathed deeply, closing her eyes. She had think with a clear mind right now. Maybe her family was still worried about her. Maybe if she called to tell them once that she was safe, that was it, it'll be a relief for them._

_She wasn't going back to that city. Oliver didn't deserve her and she didn't deserve him either. She had done something that was unforgivable and so had he._

_Tears fell for her eyes, all the things that she had thought for the two of them. She had been fighting for him because she loved him so much._

_She didn't know he had given up long ago._

_Maybe she wasn't worth the fight._

_She did take away their child._

_Shaking her head, she gathered the small amount of courage she had and then dialled the number to the Queen Mansion. Her heart was beating so fast. She could hear herself breathing heavily. She closed her eyes in a futile attempt to calm herself down._

_She wanted to talk to Robert._

_It stopped ringing the second someone picked it up on the other end and Felicity could swear she stopped breathing for a second. She could feel Ray's eyes on her and it made her all the more conscious, "Dad?" She mumbled out, softly._

_Her left hand had tightened around the V of her t-shirt, her knuckles white. Her voice was clear which she was proud of, despite the unshed tears in her eyes. _

"_Haven't you done enough?" The voice at the other end made her frown, "Thea?" She murmured, flustered but her sister-in-law didn't stop, "Haven't you done enough already, Felicity? My brother is a mess and it's all because of you."_

"_I didn't," Felicity shook her head hastily, trying to explain it to her, "I just want to talk to dad once. He'll understand. I didn't mean to—"_

"_Don't call here anymore." Thea's voice was firm, "You have ruined enough things already." Before the blonde could utter another word, the brunette hung up. Felicity's mouth parted open, the phone she had been clutching on to for so long fell from her hand, her grip slackening. _

"_Felicity?" Ray approached her bed and she looked up, her lower lip wobbling. Her vision blurred as the tears finally made themselves known, "They hate me. All of them."_

"_Felicity—"_

"_I ruined their family, Ray." Felicity shook her head, "I took away Conner. Maybe I deserved him cheating—"He pulled her towards himself and Felicity closed her eyes tightly, wanting to tune out the world._

_The ache in her heart was too much right now._

"_They hate me," She kept on mumbling, "All of them." Ray didn't let go of her and she kept staring ahead. She could make out Courtney making her way towards her, but she didn't care._

_They hated her._

_All of them._

…

The bell chimed the minute Felicity entered the diner. She didn't pay much heed to the faces that turned around to see who it was, rather than focused on searching for the ones that she was going to meet here.

It felt surreal almost. All of them, together.

When she first entered this city again, she never really thought this all will be happening again. All that mattered was the company, nothing more. She knew she didn't have anyone to look forward to here except maybe John. Nobody besides that.

That wasn't the case anymore, was it?

Her heart was beating rapidly in her chest. It sort of reminded her of the time she met Thea for the first time, when she was Oliver's sister to her. A sister she wanted to leave an impression on.

The giddiness was probably the same, except she figured it was the other way round.

_Haven't you ruined enough?_

_Now, she is going to start whining about how she lost her child and husband._

Those words had pierced through her heart. From what she had gotten to know later on, Thea regretted it. The words were harsh. It crossed a lot of limits that perhaps Thea thought of too, later one.

However, she was also sure of the fact that maybe she might not have regretted the entire statement until she discovered the truth.

_The truth._

They knew the truth now. She hoped this was an eye opener. She never called herself a saint, she knew she had made mistakes too but she didn't deserve what they threw at her. She did not.

Sooner or later, they had realized that too.

It hadn't been easy to forgive them. But the pain was gone. At least, the pain that was associated to all of this gone. It didn't pierce her heart anymore, it didn't bring tears to her eyes anymore.

Maybe, along the way she had discovered a lot of truths too.

Coming to Starling had been eye opening for so many people.

"Felicity!" She heard and the blonde turned her head towards the source of the voice. She found Thea standing near one of the booths and Tommy sitting inside it. Her shoulders sagged a little before she made her way towards them. There was a genuine smile on her face this time. The thought of being with all of them made her happy.

"Hey you guys," She smiled and before she could say anything further, Thea had flung herself at her. She was caught completely off guard, her eyes meeting Tommy's whose head had tilted as he watched the exchange.

"She was excited," He mumbled out, a bright smile on his face and Felicity's eyes filled with tears as she hugged her back. "I was too," She mumbled and Thea pulled away, a wide smile on her face. "I just," Her voice turned hoarse with emotion, "I just missed this, a lot." And Felicity nodded her head in agreement, "I mean I know it was all my fault but," Thea tried not to cry, "I missed you guys too." Felicity sniffed a little, wiping away the tear at the corner of her eye. A slight cough got her attention from the other end and she rolled her eyes. She moved a little to the side, her eyes meeting Tommy's, "Both of you."

Tommy grinned, satisfied with that answer. "Now, do I have to watch this chick flick for?"

"Your tears are showing, Merlyn," Felicity pointed out and Tommy sniffed, "I was just—" He tried to defend himself, wiping his eyes, "Stupid," He mumbled under his breath and Thea laughed. Felicity sat opposite to the two of them and her ex-sister-in-law finally got the time to say what she wanted to, "I'm sorry, Felicity. For everything," She started, "I was a bitch." She looked at Tommy for a split second, "And I should have trusted you."

Felicity's eyes snapped shut for a second, "It's okay." She sighed, "Both of you," She clarified.

"I mean, I know it isn't easy. Especially considering the suicide—" Thea stopped short, realizing what she had just said but Felicity didn't think much of it. She wasn't that person anymore, "That was just a moment. It's over now," She told her, "All of it is." She explained it to the two of them but Thea let out a visible sigh of relief.

Things were looking up.

Felicity let the small 'for now' die in the back of her throat.

"So, I heard Thea got a new boyfriend?"

"Uh, don't even get me started—"

"Shut up, Tommy! His name is Roy—"

Oh, things were definitely looking up.

…

Oliver walked down the street, his hands in the pockets of his trousers. He had just kept his phone there. He had told Sara to pick Laurel up and instead, found himself making his way towards Big Belly Burger. He had thought to himself and had wanted to say no, because maybe being away from her was less painful but he couldn't help himself.

He liked it. As much as painful as it was, he liked seeing her. Also, his friends were hanging out together after so long. It was better than sulking in a corner. She wasn't there anyway. Maybe this will distract him.

Make him accept the fact that Felicity indeed is just a friend, now.

He opened the door to the diner and stopped short when someone collided into him. Looking to his left, his eyes almost widened. He should have figured it out from the familiar strawberry fragrance, "Felicity,"

"Oliver," Her eyes widened behind her glasses, her mouth parting open, "You made it. That's," She struggled for the right word, "Nice."

Oliver shot her an amused smile, his dimple on display and it did something to Felicity but she turned her eyes away the last minute, "Yeah, I thought it's a good thing. All of us hanging out together,"

"No Laurel?" She couldn't believe she asked it. Her hold on her phone tightened as she mentally slapped herself for questioning it.

Oliver smiled softly, his hands going back in his pocket. It was silence for a moment and Felicity didn't know what to say. She stared at her phone, waving it in the air for a second before placing it back in her pocket. She must have looked stupid holding it. Gerry had just called her to tell her how Oliver had come to the office and just left.

Rather than asking about that, she instead asked about this.

Oliver shrugged his shoulders, "No Laurel."

Felicity looked up finally, her mouth parting open. Blue met blue and Oliver didn't look away not even once. He missed this sometimes, missed her.

_No Laurel._

Felicity hated herself sometimes. For letting herself believe in it, for letting herself over think. Why was he this way? Why was she this way?

But it didn't matter, did it?

She was always around.

Felicity smiled at him once before turning her head away. Oliver didn't say anything whilst he watched all this happen, he had no right to stop her, did he?

Shaking his head, he opened the gate of the diner yet again, this time finally entering it. A small smile came on his face when he saw who Felicity was making her way too. Diggle was standing near the table as well and Oliver figured he had just arrived as well.

"Oliver's here too," Felicity pointed behind herself and Thea let out something to akin to a squeal, "Ollie, you made it!"

He tilted his head to the side, making his way towards them, "Well, I didn't have that much of work."

"Why'd you go the office anyway? It's Sunday," Felicity's forehead was marred with lines and Oliver was caught off guard, his hand that he had just taken out of his pocket, fidgeting. "I thought we had work today," He reasoned and Felicity raised her eyebrows, "You thought we had work today?"

"Yeah, like Ted. Share market," Oliver nodded, "Lots of things." He shook his head, trying to sound serious.

"Gerry didn't call me," Felicity shrugged her shoulders and Oliver agreed, "Well, there wasn't much. I made it here, didn't I?" Oliver looked at Diggle.

Felicity bit her lip. She knew Oliver had been stressing himself out lately and she had tried to ignore the reason why. Maybe it was something else. Her mind runs at a miles per hour anyway. She really needed to stop giving herself hope when there was nothing to look forward too.

She'll get better with time. Being here, she had allowed herself to dive in that world again. Some parts she would like to remember of it, Oliver as a friend included, some however could gladly go away.

"I'm glad you did!" Thea got up from her seat to hug him and Felicity let herself forget about everything. She shared a smile with Diggle, who was shaking his head at something and Felicity narrowed her eyes. Raising her eyebrows in his direction, she tried to ask him what was the matter but he just shook his head knowingly.

"Are we finally going to order or what?" Tommy called out, "Come on, I'm dying of hunger over here man!" He called out when Oliver and Felicity looked at him. They didn't say another word, instead found themselves sitting opposite to Diggle, Thea and Tommy.

Felicity moved a little inside, allowing Oliver to sit beside her. "Okay, you three and us," She mumbled under her breath, so that nobody notices. "Okay," She nodded her head again, eyes landing on the milkshake she had ordered an hour ago.

"Can we call Carly now, please? I'm hungry."

"She's the manager here now," Thea reasoned, "She won't come to take your orders."

"But what about the discount?" Tommy frowned, "Diggle's her family and we need discount."

"You're a billionaire!" Thea practically screamed, "I don't think—"

"Yeah, I missed this." Felicity muttered with a smile and Oliver turned his head towards her, "Yeah?" His teeth were all display, a genuine smile on his face.

"Yeah, all of them." Felicity moved her head, trying to point towards people sitting there, "Well, they missed you too." He corrected his statement the last minute, "All of us missed you a lot."

_Nothing, I just missed this._

_Yeah, so did I._

It seemed like Felicity's mind had transported itself back there. Back in Coast City where everything was perfect, until it wasn't.

They had missed each other, didn't they? Maybe that is why they had allowed themselves to get carried away. They missed each other so much.

It seemed difficult now. Now, that she had realized she was in love with him, pulling away seemed harder. She didn't want it to happen, to move away from him. But, she had no choice. She had a life to look forward too.

She had told herself this once.

_Alone._

_Alone is how she had to deal with this._

Well, things have changed a lot. She certainly wasn't alone anymore but she didn't have Oliver. Maybe all she ever did was associate the idea of being not alone was with him and that wasn't right. But she couldn't help herself.

She was indeed alone. He was here but yet he wasn't. He was there for her as a friend, something that made her happy yet she felt alone.

She didn't know why.

"Seems like I missed a lot of things too," Diggle finally allowed himself to be a part of the conversation and Felicity shifted her focus there, "You two friends now?"

"Yeah," Oliver answered for the two of them, "Friends." He looked at Felicity who nodded her head, pursuing her bottom lip together, "Not that we weren't before." She tried to clarify, "But we were colleagues. Now, we're friends."

"And the past?" Diggle didn't deviate from the topic, "It's all behind you?"

"Yeah," Felicity said slowly, nodding her head, "No longer," She looked at Oliver, "stuck in the past."

_The truth is we all are stuck in the past, both of us._

Oliver's fingers twitched, his eyes narrowing at the table in front of him, a frown encasing his face.

Come to think of it, they had come past a lot of things. Maybe it Conner, or accepting one another for who they are now. But somehow, he still was stuck in the past.

He loved her.

He didn't mind. Was loving her really the past though? From what he had realized, he had always loved her. It had been his past, his present, his—he turned his head towards her only to find her smiling at something Diggle had just said.

His future?

But she wasn't a part of that, was she?

This future was different from the he had envisioned. It was funny how in that one brief moment he had envisioned everything and then all of it was ripped away from him.

He really wasn't stuck in the past anymore, was he?

He didn't know what made him say it, "We are finally letting go of the past. To forget about one relationship to start the other," He frowned, his mind lost.

Why was letting go of it so hard when he kept reminding himself of that every now and then?

It shouldn't be.

Felicity faced him the next second. A cross between a frown and surprise on her face. Blue met blue and they didn't look away. A sad smile came on Felicity's face and Oliver believed himself to be mirroring it. Her hand that was laying on the table, fisted itself and he had stop himself from reaching for it.

Then, how come it is?

…

Diggle was driving Felicity home when she finally started to speak. Tommy and Thea had to leave for a work at Verdant and he had taken it on himself to drop her home.

He couldn't believe the amount of things that had happened while he was away. Felicity knew that Oliver was engaged. He never told her about it, he always figured Oliver would get his head out his ass by the time it is indeed revealed.

But he wasn't. He still couldn't believe Oliver was repeating the same mistake that he had made the last time. He wanted to shake him and correct him but it would be of no use. If he hasn't realized this on his own, maybe he never deserved Felicity after all.

He knew both of them had suffered a lot. He had witnessed it first-hand. Both of his friends falling apart. But now, they had managed to fix some part of themselves.

Why aren't they able to fix this?

"I have a date tonight," Felicity breathed in and Diggle frowned, turning his head towards his friend, "Yeah?"

"Yeah." Felicity echoed, her eyes never leaving her hand, "Is it bad Diggle that despite that all I'm thinking about is Oliver? I should be thinking about Ed, you know? About our date—"

"But Oliver," John knew the answer to it. In fact, he even knew the answers to Oliver's questions.

It was them.

The two of them together.

But he didn't deserve her.

Not right now.

"How you're holding up with the engagement and all?" John knew it would pinch her, of course it would. It was this pain that made him think that Oliver didn't deserve her. Why he was still with Laurel was beyond him.

Deep down, he understood.

But deep down, he also knew Oliver had changed. So why not?

"Dealing with it," Felicity laughed hoarsely, she knew better than to hide all of this from him, "It'll get better right, Digg?"

"It will," John reassured her, "You know all I ever want is for you to be happy right, Felicity?" He responded back and Felicity nodded her head, her eyes shining.

"Is being with Ed what makes you happy?"

"It should," Felicity pouted her lips together, "But I have been happy lately. So maybe this should help too," She blinked her eyes in retaliation.

"If moving on makes you happy, Felicity. Move on."

"...and Oliver?"

"His happiness is on him," Diggle focused his attention back on the road, pressing his foot harder against the accelerator, "He chose wrong." He mumbled under his breath.

It had been so long since he had seen Felicity happy. She was giggling with them today. Her happiness was back. So was Oliver's until they both realized the truth. Until them both realized how he had moved on.

He never really imagined Oliver would get this far. He had always thought that Oliver would get himself together and realized he loves Felicity. He wasn't very keen of the relationship. Despite knowing how they both had suffered, he didn't like this post break up Oliver version but somehow, amidst everything the old Oliver was back. This Oliver wasn't blind because of his pain, he was rational.

But then, he kept making the same mistakes again.

So maybe he didn't deserve her after all.

From what he could make out, Oliver knew he loved her but was denying himself of it yet again. A small part of his acknowledged that but a large part of him still believed he didn't deserve of her because of this.

_I had no choice, Digg._

He could imagine Oliver looking up to him. But the thing was, this time he had to realize all of it on his own.

_But he already had chosen._

Maybe this Oliver still didn't deserve Felicity.

He looked at his friend who was staring outside the window, deep in thought.

And Felicity wasn't going to wait around forever.

…

**May 2012**

_Diggle threw the phone on his bed in frustration. He could feel the tears at the corner of his eyes but he couldn't cry. No, he couldn't be that weak. He had to be strong enough for others._

_He still couldn't fathom all of this had happened._

_Oliver and Felicity._

_He collapsed on his bed, his head held between his hands. He felt so helpless, he didn't know what to do. His two best friends were broken, they were a mess and he didn't even realize the extent of it, let alone help them._

_He knew they were breaking apart but they were finding their way back to one another. He had seen Oliver happy after so long happy. He was finally talking, his smile was back but then what happened?_

"_John," He felt his wife place his hand on his back and he sniffed a little, using the thumb of his right hand to wipe a stray tear away, "It'll be okay."_

"_I can't reach her. She must have," He looked down, his voice breaking a little, "She must have turned her cell off. It says the number doesn't exist," His eyes met his wife's, "There's no way to reach her, Lyla."_

"_She must be out there, alone. I don't know how this happened," He interlinked his hands behind his head, "Oliver's a mess. He says she cheated on him."_

"_And you believe in him?"_

"_Hell no," He didn't even want to think about it, "But how can I make him not believe in it too? She's gone."_

"_She'll be back," Lyla rubbed her hand on his arm, "You'll see. Remember how Carly needed a little time off after Andy died? It's the same."_

"_You don't divorce your spouse during time off, Lyla. I wasn't able to save them," He murmured, "I don't know how to."_

"_They'll find their way back to one another," Lyla smiled sadly, "It's Oliver and Felicity. They have to."_

_Lyla wanted to believe in the two of them because it was the two of them. She couldn't fathom this happening to them. They were so in love with one another, the amount of trust they had for one another and suddenly, it all crashed._

_Everything crumbled._

_Her eyes landed on the crib that was kept right across them. Her hold on her husband tightened, maybe losing a child did this to you. She couldn't imagine her life without her Sara. God, Conner and she were supposed to grow up together and now he was gone._

_She wasn't there for Felicity either. She didn't know how to be. While Conner was dead, Sara was alive. She didn't know how she would react to her and so, she never really visited. Until she did, and she seemed well._

_She seemed happy. _

_Then how come, everything collapsed?_

_She leaned her head on her husband's arm. She just hoped they will find their way back to another. _

_It was Oliver and Felicity._

_They had to._

…

Oliver stood in the balcony of his home, nursing the drink he had just made. Today had been harder than he had thought.

Maybe because he had to confront reality yet again.

Right now, she was here right in front of his eyes and soon, she won't be.

_She'll be gone._

She'll live her own life and he would have to live his own, without her.

She wasn't a part of his future anymore, was she? He took a deep breath, taking a sip from the glass. He didn't know how to deal with it.

It was harsh. He remembered telling himself how dreams were better because they weren't as brutal as reality.

But then, his dream did become the reality.

Then, it all vanished again.

It had been inside him since the beginning. It had taken him years to get used to the fact that she indeed had moved on with someone else, had chosen someone else over him but that was all on him. He was stupid enough to think that.

He was stupid enough to think that they'll find their way back to each other just like that as well. He had lost the hope she had in him. She didn't believe in him anymore.

For a split second, she had. Both of them had. He still couldn't believe she apologized. That night had made him feel a lot of things, relief being one of them. He didn't even realize he had that pain present inside of him. A small part of him was still sad because she pushed him away.

He understood, of course he did but it hurt. But then, she had managed to bring them together. She had tried to bring them together and both of them had started to heal.

Until, it all came crashing on them.

He lost her.

Those papers were still etched in his mind. The biggest he ever made was giving up on her. He never really sat to think what if it all wasn't true?

His wife had pushed him away. She was seeking someone else's help while dealing with this grief and it pierced through him that he wasn't good enough for her.

But he was. He had been good enough for her.

He had been so flustered about this fact that he never realized, he was indeed shaping himself to be that person. A person who wasn't worthy of her.

It still surprised him that she was willing to befriend him after everything.

He made her believe in that and it sort of made him happy.

It just didn't turn out the way he planned.

Yes, she had been a part of his past and had been a part of his present. Maybe even future too because she's Felicity.

And Felicity never went away.

But she won't be there around him. This time round, it was harder because he was aware of the fact that he was in love with her.

So close yet so far. A small part of him wanted to go back to the time where he hated her, maybe that would make this pain less.

But he wouldn't trade whatever he had been through. Not for the entire world.

Even though, this future isn't what he imagined. Even though he had to repeatedly remind himself of that despite everything.

She wasn't—he took a deep breath, somehow trying to erase that thought from his mind. He turned around, entering his home yet again. His eyes skimmed around the living room, it was exactly the way she wanted to be.

Felicity will always be around, right?

He stared at the golden liquid in his glass, one more thought occurring to him and he didn't push it down.

Laurel wasn't a part of it.

He knew of it. He just didn't know how to tell her but he should, sooner or later. Because if anything, today made him realize how Laurel had no place in his future either.

He needed to get himself together and tell her the truth. Because, this reality was a little hard to digest. Every day he had to remind himself of the fact that Felicity wasn't a part of it and it _still _didn't get better.

That being happy while she was moving on was just a _façade._

He wasn't sure he could handle one more on the top of it.

Laurel had no place in this future either, did she?

_Stop hiding one thing behind the other._

He wasn't going to.

Not anymore.

….

Felicity grinned to herself as she entered the restaurant. She was feeling slightly nervous and the smile on her face was to mask that away.

Actually, it was to mask Oliver away. Maybe it was because she was finally moving on that she couldn't stop thinking about him.

Moving on means letting go of Oliver, forever.

In time, she had come to a realization of how Oliver wasn't a part of her future. He had moved on with someone else and she didn't hold him account for that.

Yes, she didn't want to be stuck in the past anymore. She wanted a future. She wanted someone to be with her, maybe this is why she wanted to move on. She wanted to show herself that she can. Ed was an amazing person, someone who had waited for her and wants to be with her. She liked him, probably more than a friend.

She wanted to give this a chance, wanted it to become something new.

She had tried to move on in the past before. A couple of dates here and there. It had been hard, but it wasn't this hard. Back then, she hated him and now, she hated the thought of not being with him. It was weird, how within a couple of months everything had change.

It had changed so much.

She dusted away the imaginary dust off her dress. Her eyes flickered around, trying to find a familiar face.

Ed stood up the minute he spotted her and Felicity's smile widened.

He was nice. He knew about her past but did not judge her. He understood but he wasn't—Felicity's eyes lowered a little, he wasn't Oliver.

"Hey you," He smiled when she approached him. She didn't know how to react so she leaned forward and dropped a kiss on his cheek.

Why was she so nervous? It's not like she hadn't been dates before. So, what was so different now?

"You look beautiful," He acknowledged and Felicity's eyebrows rose, "Blue seems like your colour."

"_It was red."_

"_What?"_

"_Your colour. Definitely red."_

"Yeah, blue," Felicity nodded her head, finally setting on the chair, "Definitely my colour." She tried to laugh it off.

"So, you like it?" Ed's shoulders were raised as he sucked in some air before sighing. Seemed like the nervousness was getting to him too.

"I love it," Felicity didn't hesitate. She looked around. The restaurant was posh, dimly lit. The music was soft and it seemed like the perfect environment for a first date.

"Oh thank god," Ed said, relieved, "I wasn't sure if you were a casual date girl or a fancy one,"

Felicity hummed, eyes narrowing in speculation, "Actually I like both, but casual dates sound better later on."

"Right," Ed replied, "Formal dates for now?" He titled his head a little, his eyes shining cause of the light.

…

**April 2012**

"_I still can't believe you picked me up from the house just like that," Felicity shrugged her shoulders, taking a bite from the ice cream she had just bought._

"_Well, you said we should give each other another try," Oliver wasn't dressed well either, he was in pyjamas for fuck sake, "So I thought what's better than bonding on late night ice cream?" He shoved a little with the help of his shoulders and she narrowed her eyes at him, "You're lucky I've stopped giving a damn about how I look around you."_

"_Lucky," Oliver let out a sound akin to 'pfft' and Felicity gasped, whacking his arm. "I'm pretty, alright?" _

"_When did I say you weren't?"_

"_You better not, mister," Felicity hummed as the two of them walked down the road, "So is this how it is going to be from now on?"_

"_Going to be what?"_

"_Casual dates?" Felicity didn't remove her eyes from the ice cream cup, "Like I'm comfortable around you and I want to continue dates?" Oliver mumbled what she said, a huffed laugh escaping his lips._

"_No, like getting to know each other again dates?"_

"_Moving on without Conner dates?" Felicity let out a sad sigh, her eyes turning glossy as she bit her lip. _

"_No," Oliver grabbed her hand and Felicity stared at it for a second, her eyes meeting Oliver's. She still can't believe all of this was happening. _

_When she had poured her heart out to him in the nursery she didn't expect this. Slowly and steadily, they'll find their way back to one other._

_They still didn't talk about Conner much. They still were living apart, they still haven't kissed ever since he left, he still didn't know about Ray, they still had lost Conner._

_But it was getting better. _

_They were getting better._

_He pulled her towards him, her head landing on his shoulder, "It's moving on with each other dates," He mumbled, dropping a soft kiss on her nose._

"Formals dates it is," Felicity agreed with him.

_Moving on without Oliver dates._

Yeah, this date was going to go so well.

Moving on without him was turning well right now.

…

Oliver was skimming through their old photographs when it happened. He was sure it was going to happen, him ending up looking through the old photos that is.

The three of them smiling for the camera. His wife shying away from the camera. Conner's first smile was captured behind the lens.

The past was beautiful. It gave Oliver memories he would never forget. It was painful that these memories are the only thing that was lasting now, but it gave him joy. His heart soared when he sees those pics because his family had been beautiful. The small world that he had created for himself had been close to perfect and he liked knowing that.

The reality was brutal. His son was gone, he had lost his ex-wife all over again. Just when he had received a little bit of hope, it had slipped through her fingers like the sand. A lost opportunity. Something he had not even been through before it had been taken away from him.

The future?

His door bell rung before he could contemplate further. An exasperated sigh escaped his lips. He didn't want anyone to disturb him, this was his small bubble. He didn't want anyone to burst it.

Not when he lived inside of it.

He opened the door and his mouth opened, aghast. Of all people, she wasn't the one he was expecting here, "Laurel?"

The brunette grinned, "I just thought we could have a fun date today," She stepped inside and Oliver didn't know how to react, "Just the two of us."

Laurel was here.

_Laurel._

He had never allowed Laurel here because this was his safe haven. She wasn't a part of it. Nobody was. But he never let her inside because having her inside of his house made moving on real.

She was taking Felicity's place and nobody could take Felicity's place.

His mouth parted open in disbelief, "You can't be here." He mumbled out, she wasn't meant to be here.

This was Felicity's apartment. It was Felicity and his apartment, Laurel was no one to come here. She had no right to be here.

"Ollie, come on it's your house. I can be here." She closed the door behind her and Oliver didn't do a thing, "I just thought, maybe we should bond, you know? Get better at this."

It suddenly became very overwhelming for him.

_Moving on._

He had been moving on from Felicity. The babbling blonde who had been—who still was the love of his life, Felicity.

This home was the same one she chose to stay in when they parted ways. The same one he had been so nervous about moving in because it meant, that they were trying again _for real_, the same one where his child learned his first words, the same one that they he had worked so hard to get for her.

Laurel was here.

It came all crashing upon him like a bucket full of ice water.

He had been trying to move on. It was never love. Because this isn't love. Love is what he feels for Felicity that after all this time, he still didn't want anyone invading her space because it was _her space._

_Her home._

_Their home._

It was like a bubble, his bubble that somebody just destroyed. A home that he had made for his family and someone else wanted to be a part of it.

Is this what moving on is all about? How hard it is for him to just allow someone else in her home because it is destroying her memories? It is taking away from the precious moments he has of her.

This wasn't love.

This was a _façade._

A façade he had continued for so long that he can't. Not anymore. Because Laurel had never been the one for him.

It was _her._

It always had been _her._

His dreams were filled with Felicity in this home. It never comprised of Laurel. She was never really a part of his world to begin with. Maybe that is why it had been so hard for him to let her even enter this space and so easy for him, to bring Felicity here when she had needed him.

Because Laurel never belonged here.

This is why it had pinched him so hard when Ray had visited this place. It might have been in his head but Ray didn't belong here.

He never did.

Neither did Laurel, he never really had realized this.

Now he had. Laurel was just something his heart had accepted momentarily because he couldn't be with Felicity. She was just there and he didn't mind it.

He had just wanted to move on and he had. Just moved on. Nothing more than that then why was he doing this?

Why was this façade still on?

_She needed him._

That was his brain supplied. He was transported back to the time when he first found out about Laurel, he had told himself she needed him.

_He needed Felicity._

That is what his heart supplied. In the battle of heart and mind, he had let his mind win yet again because that is what he believed in.

No, that is what he had to believe in.

Did he make the biggest mistakes of his life? Because Laurel was here and she didn't belong here. Not that she ever did. But continuing this façade, was it wrong?

Laurel didn't belong in his life, she didn't belong here.

What if Felicity had said she believed in him? Would he have broken Laurel's heart? Because, he wanted to be with her?

_Stop hiding one thing behind the other._

And suddenly, everything made sense.

…

**June 2012**

_The doorbell of her house rung and Felicity frowned, dropping her phone on the bed. She put on her slippers and then made her way downstairs, her eyes narrowing on the door. She wasn't really expecting anyone at the moment. _

_She walked towards the door and the stood close to it. Rising on her tippy toes, she peeked through the eye piece and she could swear her heart stopped beating for a second._

_He was here._

_What was he doing here?_

_A sigh escaped her lips, accompanied by a smile. It was involuntary. She nodded to herself, her hands brushing against her pyjamas. The door bell rung yet again and this time, her eyes shone with excitement and love. _

_He was here._

_She opened the door in the next second, her smile never faltering. Her heart started beating so fast in her chest, her expectations rising._

"_Felicity," He said her name like he always did. Only Oliver could make her feel this way by just saying her mere name. He had the ability to say it in different ways and the ability to make her feel for it differently._

"_Oliver," She replied back, somehow still not aware what it was about but there was hope inside of her._

_There's always hope for the two of them._

_She chose to believe it and now, all she wanted was for him to do it too._

"_I'm sorry," Oliver whispered to her with so much sincerity and Felicity nodded her head, still wanting to hear all of it, "I—I want us to work again, Felicity. I want to be together again. I want to fight for us." He said it, "Fight for my happiness," He lowered his eyes to the ground, "You."_

"_You mean..?"_

"_I want to be with you, Felicity. It's you,"_

_Her eyes filled with tears, this is what she had wanted to hear all this time. They had started this journey together and everything had been amazing. Then, they hit a bump on the road and she realized her mistake. She tried to get better and he was helping her through it, until it stopped._

_All of it, just stopped._

_She had been grasping on to that hand oh so tightly because she didn't want to lose him, she didn't know he had been letting go of for so long._

_Her eyes widened, reality hitting her and before she could realize, Oliver had vanished. She shifted her head a little, wanting to look for him but she came across nothing. She was staring at thin air._

"_Oliver?"_

_He wasn't here, was he? She was in Central City now, building a new life for herself._

_A life without him._

_The truth was that he didn't fight for her, he didn't chose her. Instead, he chose a life without her._

_Her expression coiled with pain, the tears dripping down her cheek. She didn't blink her eyes afraid he will pop up any time but he didn't._

_He didn't._

..

Felicity snapped into reality, pressing her hand against her head. She knew why she was thinking about that dream yet again. When she had moved to Central City, she had this recurring dream. All she ever wanted was for Oliver to hear her out, to fight for her.

Her fingers twitched together, the metal ring clasped between them, it was one of the things she had always wondered about, how come he hadn't fought for her? But coming back to Starling had given her a little perspective, they both were hurt.

The hole in her heart was getting repaired though. Eventually, it will all go away.

This was supposed to be serious. She supposed to be moving on, but then what was holding her back?

_I waited long for this, you know, our date._

Ed wasn't Oliver then how come, he reminded her of him?

She had fallen in love with Oliver Queen. This stupid guy who was once a wonderful husband, an even wonderful father, was a little stupid but he grew up…but she wasn't in his cards.

So, they were two things she could do.

She didn't have the strength to control who she loved but she certainly had the strength to walk away. She knew, she gave herself this pep talk every now and then, but she was done.

Oliver Queen was not a part of her future. Not in the way, she wanted it to be. He had moved on and was happy with someone else. She will figure her life out too.

_Friends._

Nothing more, nothing less.

Which is why, she had to do this. She had to make sense of everything and had to really convince herself that she was indeed done. She wanted to be done, so why she holding onto this wedding ring?

It had this one thing that she never lost. His words always echoed in her mind, how he didn't want for her to lose it and she never did.

What was the point of it again? When they can't go back to that relationship? This ring signified the love they had for one another.

…But what happens after that love was lost?

It wasn't just Oliver Queen, husband anymore, was it?

It was Oliver Queen, her ex-husband.

She eyed the ring, her vision turning blurry, a puff of air escaped her lips.

The same guy who had managed to move on with someone else and was terminally unavailable.

He was with someone else.

She was aware of all it yet it had been so hard to get him out of her head. He had been present there like always, invading her thoughts like always except it was much harder to shove him away this time. She couldn't deny it anymore, right? She aware of whatever was happening was because she was in love with him.

But Oliver wasn't hers.

So maybe, you couldn't control who you fall for but you can walk away from it.

Which is exactly what she has decided to do. It had been a tough decision on her part. When she reached her home after her date with Ed, she collapsed.

She collapsed because it was so hard. Moving on with the intention of moving on. No looking back this time because there is nothing. All that is left is a grey slate. He hadn't waited for her and she? She had no one to wait for.

So here she was, holding onto the love of her life. A simple wedding ring that she had promised. Oliver once she would never let go off and she never did. Come to think of it, the signs had always been there. She had always been head over heels for this guy but it was just denial taking over her. Maybe because he didn't deserve back then and she didn't deserve him either.

Look at the joke destiny played on them though. Now that they are, he doesn't want to be with her.

So, she had to walk away.

She had fumbled through her home, tears dripping down her cheeks as she did so but she had to. She didn't know why the first thing that she thought of the minute she entered her house was this ring. Throughout the entire night, everything was reminding her of Oliver.

This has happened before but she couldn't deal with it. Not anymore. The tears in her eyes became prominent by the second.

_If moving on makes you happy Felicity, move on._

It did. Moving on did make her happy however, she couldn't. Every little thing reminded her of him. She had been kidding herself all morning into thinking that she had or she will. The truth was every single thing of hers was connected to Oliver but he wasn't connected to her.

She had realized of it. Her hold on her wedding ring tightened. She wondered how it felt like. Ever since she took it off three years ago, she never put it back on. She didn't have the strength to put it on now.

_It was a dream. It shattered._

A shattered dream it was, and somehow this was one of its broken pieces. It pinched Felicity. Why was she holding on to it? The wedding band still held the meaning it did before but it didn't matter anymore.

So, she was giving it back.

Because she was tired. She wanted to move on. She was tired of taking two steps only to take one back. Something that held her back since the beginning was Oliver and here she was letting go of him.

His ex-wife.

_Ex._

Felicity bit her lip, her feet moving across the shiny floor producing small thuds. Her heart was thumping in her chest as she clutched the ring tightly between her index finger and thumb. She almost felt like she was about to hyperventilate as tears collected in her eyes.

For the past three years it had been thing ring. She had involuntarily put all of her hopes into it. But those hopes had no life.

_Don't lose this one._

_Don't worry, I won't._

She stopped momentarily midway-the hallway leading to the eruption of so many memories in her mind. It was the hallway to his house-their house. She shook her head-now that was in the past, she had just decided to move on, no, she couldn't think of it. She couldn't let herself feel vulnerable again, she mused to herself as she resumed walking.

These memories would stay with her forever anyway. She wasn't sure if that was a good or a bad thing. A small part of her didn't want them. The pain being too much but a large part of her did because it was still _him. _This home was still him, this ring was still him.

But she had to walk away for her sake.

Each minute that passed, seemed like an hour while her pace seemed slow. She wanted to get away from this-to be away from him because then only she can forget about him and carve a new life for herself.

Years ago, the idea didn't appeal much to her but then, she didn't have a choice-she had to leave him and she hoped that separation might have made her hate him, might have eradicated those strong feelings for him. The pain he made her go through might have erased that flame of love for him inside of her. But he had fixed it. All of it. He had made her realize, that the love never went away.

It was suppressed.

She always has been in love with him and coming back, she wanted to chuckle to herself-it had changed her life in so many different ways Now, a lot of things had settled but her heart still hurt. She still wished it never happened, that selfish part of her. But the rational one realized how much everything had changed, didn't regret it. The one that was in love with what once was her family realized it was all good.

It's just the heartbroken one that hated it.

The tears peeked through the corner of her eyes as they finally dropped in twin sets.

_I love you, Felicity. I'm in love with you._

_This is our apartment, our home._

She just wanted to get rid of them, of him. She wanted to let go because no matter what, he would never be hers. Because no matter even if she hated him-

She couldn't stop loving him.

She couldn't help with that but what she could do is walk away. Because, she wasn't willing to go through this pain daily.

Moving on did make her happy but she couldn't. Not when she was holding onto these things like the naïve fool that she was.

Her panda flats, she had changed after the date, moved against the floor as she stopped in front of the door. Removing her spectacles from her left hand, she rubbed her eyes, trying to remove the moisture. The ring for a moment fixated itself in her thumb as she blinked-hoping her eyes weren't red. Giving her cheeks one final rub, she took a deep breath.

She could do this.

She had to let go.

She needed to let go.

Letting go of Conner had not been easy but she had. It was less painful now, certainly better because her son wasn't coming back.

Oliver wasn't either.

The only difference was one was right across the door while the other one was far away, yet the distance between them was of miles.

Wearing her specs-she knocked on the door. The words Oliver Queen were protruding in white, in contrast with the black door. She remembered when her name was etched their as well-and she wondered how long did it take Oliver to remove it?

She hadn't even seen it the first time she had visited this place. The signs had always been there. They had let go of each other way before they actually did. Yet, here she was like a fool, her heart still not listening to her, still madly in love with a guy who was with someone else.

Her thoughts had always gone tangentially and now, they were heading off in the wrong direction because at this point all she could think about was their memories-which was very wrong since all it was doing was causing her pain and she was indeed marking the end of it. She hoped this ring would be the end of it-returning it back meant that she was finally moving on with her life, alone-without him.

"Felicity?" His voice snapped her out of her thoughts and she couldn't help but wonder if he would call her with the same intensity when he finally marries her.

"Oliver," She spoke, hoping her voice came out strong. A small grin took its place across her pale face-"I came here to-"

"_Ollie! Is that the pizza guy? I ordered some for us!" _Oliver turned around, still trying to stutter something out but Felicity wanted to cut him off before he could.

Felicity's heart thudded. Of course she would be here. They were engaged, did she expect anything less? Her eyes were beginning to burn and she took a deep breath, "I just came here to return this." She moved her right hand forward and his eyebrows hiked up. "Felicity-" Before he could continue further, she shoved the ring in his hand. "I just came here to return it. Give it to Laurel," She breathed-"She-she deserves it more."

Oliver's held tilted towards one side momentarily, his mouth parting open but Felicity cut him short-"Actually don't. I mean, why would Laurel want my wedding ring? She would want a new one-"She spoke, "But you can give it to her if you want, I mean-it is yours now. I just came her to return it." She knew she was about to enter he babble zone and this was the worst timing ever because any minute-she might burst and start crying. She just clutched her hands together and stared down on the ground.

"Felicity," His voice was soft and she finally looked up. Her cobalt eyes meeting his blues. "This was yours. I can't keep this. This is _yours._" He was about to move his hand but Felicity stopped him, "No. Like you said we're friends now, and I need to get rid of this-of our past." She finally said the truth, "In order to begin a new relationship-we need to get rid of the old one." She said with eventuality and Oliver felt his heart break as he stared at her.

Needing to get rid of it?

He shook his head hastily, this was not happening. This just couldn't happen.

"Be happy Oliver," She spoke softly, her voice breaking, "Don't let her go." She turned around-not giving him a chance to speak, afraid that his words might hold the power to convince her, "Felicity, just listen to me—"

There it was again, something that gave her a little hope that Oliver felt something for her.

But he was with Laurel.

So, she closed off her heart and instead wiped the tears on her cheek away.

Her heart was closed off for him.

Because he wasn't a part of her future.

"_Ollie, who is it?"_

Laurel was.

His future wife.

Not her.

The ex-wife.

…

Oliver held on to the ring like his life depended on it. He watched her retreating figure but there was something stopping him. Someone stopping him.

Was it his own thoughts anymore?

He leaned his head against the wooden door. The ring was still held between his thumb and fore finger. He moved his thumb across it, feeling the inscribed words.

_Forever Yours._

Now, she had walked away from him. She had officially given up on him. He knew exactly how he felt about that. The pain in his chest was too much. He closed his eyes tightly, as if trying to hide that pain only for the tears to leak through his eyes.

He had just figured it out, all of it and he had just lost her. This situation seemed familiar somehow.

"_She left, Oliver. I don't know where. But she did."_

"Ollie," He heard Laurel whisper behind her and he groaned to himself, finally turning around to face her, "Is everything okay?" She asked when he didn't reply, his eyes fixed on the ornament instead, "I know I should not have come here randomly, but we are getting married soon—"

"You know how I got this ring for her, Laurel," Oliver started mumbling, his orbs still looking down, "I was confused. I was so sure that I wanted to marry this woman," He chuckled a little, "But I didn't know what she would like. Princess cut, diamond cut I didn't know anything and I wanted it to be perfect you know," He finally looked at her, his eyes filled with moisture, "Just like her. Something she—" He paused as if looking for the right word, "Deserves."

But did it really matter?

The ring, did it really matter? When he wasn't able to be the man she deserves?

A man who had the guts to fight for her and make her see that he was in love with her. Was he that man?

"She used to say that she only wanted me," He smiled, "Only me. That is all she wanted but I-I—" He stuttered, "I didn't deserve her then. I still think I don't," He mumbled.

"_You never fought for me."_

The realization had finally dawned on him, losing her was his reality check.

"You know, I was this way when we first broke up. I—I was afraid because I thought she had chosen Ray. I didn't even think, you know," He sniffed, "I always thought those signs were right. How can she be with me after our marriage was falling apart? I never even tried," He blinked.

"Ollie—"

"_it's true that you did leave me but it makes you a coward for not fighting for us."_

How come he gave up on her again? Oh so easily?

….

**May 2012**

"_Oliver don't," Diggle took away the glass of whiskey from his hand and Oliver glared at him, trying to reach for it. His eyes were bloodshot, the glass seemed blurry to him but he honestly didn't give a fuck._

_His wife had left._

_His wife had cheated on him and had left with someone else._

_For fuck sake, he was allowed to get drunk tonight._

_This agony was too much. He had lost the love of his life. _

_Fucking Palmer._

"_Where is she, Oliver?" Diggle asked, moving the glass away from his reach and Oliver narrowed his eyes at him, "How would I know? Go ask her boyfriend," He let out a huffed laugh, tears producing in the corner of his eyes at the end of it, "Her boyfriend." He mumbled whilst gnashing his teeth._

"_If you know where she is," John was serious, "Tell me about it, Oliver. You need to look for her and talk to her."_

"_Talk to her?" Oliver pretended to be surprised, "About what?" He frowned, "How much she loves Ray?" He tilted his head, his hand on the table top as he counted, "How much Ray knows her? Better than her own husband?" _

"_You can't believe she cheated on you," His friend tried to reason and Oliver got up from his chair, holding on to the table for support. Diggle tried to reach for him but he pushed him away, "I don't need more backstabbing friends in my life." He said in anger, shoving him aside, choosing to walk away from. _

"_Oliver!" Digg sounded exasperated and Oliver stopped dead in his tracks, not turning around to face him though. _

"_Don't let her go, man. Fight for her. You don't even know what happened. Don't let her go."_

_There was no reaction from Oliver for a few seconds but then, he slowly turned around. He was fumbling, his chest heaving, "I just did."_

…

"It was so hard. Moving on, it was so hard. I wanted her to know I had moved on," It seemed like Oliver had forgotten Laurel was even there. Years of pent up frustration was finally being unleashed.

All because he saw the love of his life walk away from him.

There were so many thoughts in his mind that he had suppressed. He had kept telling himself that she deserved better than him, what did ever do to make him worthy of her? Did he fight for her?

No, instead he chose the easy way out.

_Stop hiding one thing behind the other._

This wasn't in context with Laurel. They was about Felicity. He was hiding what he felt for Felicity by being with Laurel. Trying to suppress whatever he had been feeling.

He had changed, hadn't he?

That is what Felicity had told him. Over the years, he had changed.

His nervous tick was back, lines marring his forehead as he contemplated. He did. For a little while, he did fight for her, didn't he?

He didn't even realize.

…

"_Together?" He asked her in a soft voice._

_Her voice might have been small and she might have hesitated but it didn't stop Oliver from smiling when she replied back, "Together."_

…

How come had he fought for her then? How come he had fought for her before?

Because all that mattered was her. He didn't see anything else. It was her happiness that mattered to him. No other issues were bothering him.

She was his strength.

But then, he lost his way.

…

"_I thought you guys were trying," Moira frowned, moving her hand through his hair and Oliver just ignored her, instead focusing his attention on the ceiling of his room, "Oliver."_

"_Yeah, it might not be working out anymore," He grumbled under his breath, biting his lip._

"_Why not? You both were getting better," Moira said softly, "What changed, Oliver?"_

_He changed. Both of them did._

…

Was he really going to lose his way now? After everything? He chuckled to himself, in a twisted way history was repeating itself. Somehow, he was back in the same position that he was in years ago.

And he was making the same mistake, again.

How could he?

"I-I—can't," Oliver shook his head hastily. At first it was Ray, then it became Ed, he was letting himself believe that he wasn't good enough for her. What had ever done to prove her that he was worthy for her?

He had changed. She had been right, both of them had.

"_The biggest mistake you ever made was not fighting for her and what she made, was not trusting you enough."_

She did trust him, didn't she?

She had believed in him. Coming to Star City, had changed her too. From a woman who hated his guts, she had started to believe in them. She had decided to give him a chance.

_He _did that.

They both did.

…

"_I want you to know that I never meant anything. That I never wanted you to feel that way. I never would have cheated—"_

"_I know," She nodded knowingly._

_And she did. Whatever that had happened, it was in the past. They both had changed. Losing each other had made them the worst versions of themselves. _

_And now, they weren't those people anymore. _

"_God, Felicity," He huffed out and before Felicity could react, he had arms around her. "Whoa," Felicity mumbled in surprise, her hands landing on Oliver's back._

"_I'm just really sorry for everything." He muttered and Felicity closed her eyes, "So am I." _

_Oliver hugged her tightly. He didn't know how he would have survived had something happened to her. He couldn't even fathom the thought of it. He would have lost himself._

_There is no Oliver Queen without them._

_But she was here, in his arms._

…

Oliver collapsed on the top of the sofa. He moved his head back, leaning it against it, a sigh escaping his lips.

There was no Oliver Queen without them.

How come he had not realized this sooner? He was being stupid enough to repeat the same mistake again.

_And he lost the love of his life, just like that._

Not this time.

He wasn't going to let her go this time. If she didn't believe in them anymore, he did. He had to, for both of their sake.

It had always been a matter of heart and mind for him. He kept jumbling, choosing between the two. But now, he had realized and had finally chosen.

His eyes flickered towards Laurel who was standing at one end. He rubbed his eyes a little, trying to remove the stray moisture and then finally stood up. The brunette was in her thoughts and Oliver felt bad.

He really did. Now that he has finally come to senses, he had realized what all he had babbled about and how wrong this relationship had been since the beginning.

Laurel deserved better. She was bound to know about it sooner or later. He wasn't as much apologetic as he imagined himself to be. It still pained him, but his happiness was slipping through his fingers.

Felicity had just walked away from him.

If he didn't be with her now, there was no going back from there.

_There was no choice to make._

"Laurel," He started softly, raising his hand in her direction, wanting to touch her but the brunette moved away. He curled his hand in a fist slowly, not knowing what to say before he placed it back where it was.

"You said a lot of things," Laurel smiled sadly, "Now it's my turn." She placed her hands in the back of her jeans pocket, "I—" She breathed out, "for one always knew how Felicity affected you. I still chose to ignore it, you know? I always thought, it's you and I, us against the world." She whimpered, "When you broke up, I thought maybe you guys were not meant to be. But I was wrong," She stuck her tongue out and licked her lips, "I was wrong, Ollie."

"Oliver." He corrected her without even thinking. Laurel looked up, her eyes widening and Oliver shook his head, "I mean—"

"Oliver." Laurel echoed him, "I was wrong." She looked at the ground, "I probably would have created a scene," She laughed, "But Tommy—he left me," She breathed, "He told me about the two of you, you know? But I just ignored it. I showed up here," She raised her arm in exaggeration, "of all places."

"Laurel, I didn't mean for it hurt you but—"

"It's your home," Laurel nodded, eyes filling up with tears, "She's your home." It was the bitter truth and she had finally downed the poison.

Oliver didn't deny it, "I'm sorry for everything."

"It's okay," She told him, "I'm sorry for the whole—" She moved the index finger of her right hand around as if to tell him about everything, "I need to leave."

"You'll be alright?" Oliver frowned, "I mean I can—"

"I'll be alright," Laurel nodded, "Tommy left me, Oliver. The one person who had been with me since forever. It's about time I get myself together," The guy in question nodded, "You can stay here until anybody comes. I'll arrange—"

"No," She shook her head, "I think that's all for today. I'll go to Sara's. I think I need a break from everything." Her voice broke, sniffing a little after that.

"I'll be there for you as a friend, Laurel. That's all I can offer. She's—" He pointed at the door, "She's my happiness."

_Mine doesn't exist._

"She's right there, I can't. I've lost her once, not this time," He wasn't going to waver, "I need to try. I need to believe."

Laurel hummed in reply but didn't say a word. She silently made her way towards the door, "I'll be at Sara's. Don't worry about me," She assured him, "My sister's got me."

"We got you too," Oliver felt bad, he won't lie but he wasn't really guilty, "As friends."

"Right." The brunette passed him one last smile before making her way out of his home. Oliver reached for the cell in the back of his pocket, scrunching his nose a little when he realized the mess he had just gotten out of. He dialled his driver's number, telling him to make sure Laurel makes it to Sara's home safely.

Then, he sighed in relief.

It wasn't much to be honest. Maybe it was because he had finally let go of Laurel. He had made sure she knew the truth or was it because, he had finally realized what he wanted.

He closed his eyes, Felicity's face coming before her eyes. When she had handed him over that ring.

Her face showcased her pain, she gave up on him. He didn't know if she loved him but this time, he had chosen to listen to his heart and he wasn't backing down.

He has to believe in himself and his relationship if he wanted it to last.

Make her fall in love again, make her realize she wanted to be with him again.

…

**April 2012**

"_Hey," Felicity whispered, her hand against the door of the nursery. Oliver looked up and then wiped the tears away from his eyes. He didn't want her to see him this way._

"_Felicity," He mumbled, running a hand over his mouth, "I didn't know you'll show up here."_

"_Well, I—" She sighed a little, trying to get herself together. It wasn't easy, being here wasn't easy but she'll do it. Her son was still dead, her baby. _

_Their baby. She was getting used to it. The sessions were helping her. The pain didn't fade away, she didn't think it will. But she was certainly getting used to it._

"_I just wanted to meet you," She knew she had been wrong in pushing him away. When he had tried so hard to be with her and she didn't listen. Things were looking up now, they certainly were better than before._

_Maybe they'll reach there eventually._

_She wanted them to reach there. She didn't want to lose Oliver. God knows, she loved this man so much. She wouldn't be able to handle another loss._

"_Yeah," Oliver nodded, "We'll meet outside. I'll just finish this up—" He pointed at the nursery and Felicity shook her head, "No, it's alright. This is alright." _

"_You sure?" Oliver asked again, surprised. "I'm sure," Felicity reassured him, her chest heaving a little as she took a deep breath, "This nursery is nice." She tried to joke about it, "It's Conner."_

"_Yeah," Oliver's eyes were blood red, "It's Conner." His eyes landed on the photo frame that was kept on the floor, the three of them smiling at the camera, "It's us." _

"_I want us," Felicity whispered, finally sitting beside him. Oliver turned his head towards the left, surprise on his face, "What?"_

"_Us," Felicity closed her eyes, pursuing her lips together, "I want us, Oliver. I don't think we talked about this. I mean not directly at least," She started to babble, "I mean, we want to move on. I'll get there. I want you there with me too," She nodded her head, eyes full of expectations behind her glasses._

_Oliver narrowed his eyes playfully, the old him was showing a little, "You want to be there with me?" He nodded his head slowly and Felicity shoved him to the side, "I want you there with me." She said so confidently that Oliver paused. His eyes brightened if that was possible, his dimple showing, "Yeah."_

"_Yeah." She reached for his hand and interlocked their fingers together, "So much of confidence, Mrs. Queen?" He acted all surprised. _

_His heart was filling up with warmth. His Felicity was smiling. It might not be her best one yet, but it still caused butterflies to form in the pit of his stomach._

"_It's love," Felicity laughed, enunciating the word and Oliver laughed. Then, it died down and he finally asked the question he had been wanting too, "For real, right?"_

_Felicity knew in the past she had pushed him away but she was trying. She will continue to do so. It was him, all of it came down to him._

"_I love you, okay?" She held his hand tightly before bringing it to her lips, "I don't want to lose you. I don't want to lose us." Oliver's mouth parted open in disbelief and then slowly, his lips curled up. He leaned forward and Felicity closed her eyes almost instinctively. He dropped a kiss on her forehead, "You know, I love you too, right?"_

_The moment had suddenly changed. When Oliver entered the nursery, he had been all full of grief. Now however, there was something similar to hope bubbling in his chest. _

_It changed almost instantly. _

_He squeezed Felicity's hand and she leaned her head against his shoulder, moving her head in the crook of his neck. _

_They'll be okay._

_He opened his mouth, letting out a puff of air. He looked at their adjoined hands, eyes filling up with tears._

_His Felicity was happy. She was smiling and it might not be the brightest of all, but she was. He placed his head on the top of hers. He looked up, trying to control the tears from falling._

"_It's okay to cry," Felicity whispered, "It's okay to let it out."_

_Oliver laughed, one tear drop falling down his cheek, "I love you, you know that right?" He muttered._

"_I know," She kissed his neck, "Wouldn't have it any other way, Queen."_

…

"I don't want to lose you," Oliver echoed, remembering the incident, "I don't want to lose us." He raised the ring in the air, kissing the ring.

_Forever yours._

The past had been painful but it left Oliver with memories. Beautiful memories with his beautiful family.

The present was brutal or had been, brutal. They were so close to one another, yet so far. They finally saw some light amidst the darkness, but they didn't reach for it.

He was going to reach for it now.

The future?

He wasn't sure what might happen in the future. Wil it be with or without Felicity, he wasn't aware of it. What he did know, is that he will try. This time, he won't disappoint her. He'll try to build a future that Felicity and he had envisioned.

He'll fight for that future.

He won't let her cry for him again, not anymore.

_Show her. Let her decide that._

He will.

If her happiness lied with Ed at the end, he'll happily accept it but right now, he wanted her to see that he loved her. He wasn't losing the love of his life again just like that.

He wasn't going to.

Did she love him?

He wasn't sure of it but he would give her reason to. It was about time, he fought for her. He didn't know where her happiness lied, what he did know that he wasn't about to let his go.

His heart told him it lied with him, so he was trusting it. His mind had been shoved aside. The heart had finally won the battle and he wasn't backing down now.

"_All I ever wanted, was for you to fight for me."_

This time, he will.

**A/N : Hope you all liked it xD**

**Feedbacks are always appreciated! **

**Thank you x**

**Srishti. **


	32. Chapter Twenty Eight : Reaching For Her

**Hey, you all! Finally here is the update for the next chapter. I'm a little curious about your reactions to it. **

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**Word Count : 8514 **

"**I want to be with you." – Oliver Queen, 3x23, Arrow.**

**Chapter Twenty Eight : Reaching for Her**

Oliver was sitting on the couch, right opposite to his psychiatrist. He hadn't started talking about anything and she hadn't even asked him to, he wondered why.

He had been bottling up a lot of things inside of him since the very beginning. His feelings for Felicity that he had supressed long ago because he believed she didn't deserve him, the grief of losing his son that he had buried inside of him because he was afraid, if he talked about it, it would push people away—it was all coming out.

Sooner or later, most of that heaviness had dissolved. At one point, he even forgot about it. It didn't seem to hurt that much anymore but then it was back. He witnessed pure bliss at first after they had talked to one another, the calm before the storm they say. He was happy, a lot of things were left behind him.

Felicity and he had reached that reached that stage long ago, where they were letting go of the past. At that point, they wanted to embrace the future. It made him feel better, made him cherish all of this because he never thought he would get to experience it. Then, he realized he had finally accepted that he was in love with her.

He wanted to be with her again. He missed her. After a long while, he finally named that feeling that he had supressed for so long.

He loved her. He had always been in love with her. He wanted to be with her. He missed her. Suddenly, everything had started to make sense.

He wanted to spend the rest of life with him. Wanted to wake up next to her, wanted to build a family with her. The most ironic part was that with Laurel, this thought had never really occurred to him. To build a family.

But with Felicity, it was different. And now, he wasn't kidding himself to believe that maybe it was because he already had created one with her before, now he was face to face with reality.

The truth was, Oliver Queen had never really known what love was until he met her.

He had realized that. The only thing that had been stopping him from believing that was his own guilt and belief that he didn't deserve her. He had supressed those feelings of his, trying to name it something else. But, it was her trust in him that made him realize what they really were.

It had been _her _before.

But now, it was _him._

"Oliver?" His doctor finally called out for him and the man in question blinked, shifting his focus to her, "Yeah?" He straightened up. To be honest, he was ready to talk. He wanted to be done with this. Now that this feeling had finally hit him, he didn't want to let go of it.

_Hope _for them.

_Belief _in them.

He was hit with this brief feeling back in Coast City too, when he realized that she was the one. But it was short lived when he finally realized his reality.

This time, he was willing to fight that reality too.

She backed away because she believed he had moved on. Oliver didn't blame her for that. But now, he had to get that belief of hers back. He needed to make her see that he was a man worth fighting for.

Will she see it?

Oliver didn't know. Time and again previously, he had kept telling himself how he didn't deserve her. But the truth was he hadn't even shown her anything. The truth was, his mind had kept telling him that he wasn't good enough for her.

But, it was his heart telling him that he needs to earn it back. It was his heart telling him that she did care for him. Those moments in Coast City is what he wanted to remember rather than that talk at her house.

He had chosen his heart and he wasn't looking back this time.

He had to believe in them if he wanted to win this fight.

"How are you feeling?" There was a small smile on her face and Oliver was sure she had noticed his demeanour, "Good." Oliver gave a genuine answer, "Better than before?"

"Better than ever."

She raised her eyebrows, "That's nice." She grinned, "So, what are you going to do next?"

Oliver took a deep breath, "We fight. I—" He bit his lip, "I don't want this feeling to go away. I've felt this way after a long time. I have hope for us." Lisa did not say a word and Oliver continued, "I gave up before because I thought I wasn't worth—we weren't worth it." He informed her, "And then she did."

He looked down at the ground, "I want to show her that we are." He lifted his head and his psychiatrist nodded, "I want her to see that we are worth it."

"You did that once before."

"Yeah, but I backed down."

"It's your auto-sabotage," For the first time, she was upfront about it, she believed he had grown past it and can see through his faults, "But you're past that now,"

It had been, right? Two times had he tried to reach out for her but then he blocked all of it away. He had been trying to meet her halfway but he collapsed, they collapsed.

But he was past that.

He wanted her to see that. He hoped she did. She was the one to tell him that he had changed. He wasn't the same man that he was before. He wanted to prove it to her.

He never wanted this feeling to escape. This relief accompanied by warmth. He might not even have her at the moment, but his inner turmoil was over. He was in _love _and she was in reach.

Ed was something that did bother him but if he can move on, so can she. All he could do was have faith. If he could see past his relationship with Laurel, he hoped she could too.

And if at the end of the day, it is Ed who makes her happy, he will let her go. But not without him showing how much she means to him.

"Do you think she will come around?"

"She did the first time, didn't she," Lisa smiled, referring to the time after he discovered the truth, "You came halfway, she should too."

"Yeah," Oliver smiled softly.

_She should too._

He had to believe she will, he had to fight for her.

Losing her like this wasn't an option.

_Just wasn't an option._

…

**April 2012**

"_He left," She murmured, pressing her hands over her mouth. Soft sobs escaped her lips and she didn't know what to do. Deep down, she knew this was her fault._

_Post Conner's death, she had tried to push Oliver away in every way possible. She had broken down in front of him a few times when the grief became too much but she never let herself open up to him._

_It was because she believed she didn't deserve. It was supposed to her funeral people should go too, she should be the one they should be mourning—not her son, not her baby._

_She was also aware that Oliver knew she was apologetic. Sometimes, she whispered it to him at nights, not knowing how to let him in. Because as much as she loved him, she felt cheated by life. She wanted to bask in his love and comfort but also wanted to push him away because she didn't deserve it. Sometimes, she told him through her eyes. Every time she pushed him away, she could see his heart breaking. _

_She could see him falling apart but how was she supposed to help him when she was broken herself? How was she supposed to let him in when she didn't deserve his love?_

_Sometimes, she wanted to comfort him. She wanted to hold him in her arms and ask him to cry. To let it all out, to unleash all the grief that had been piled up inside of him but she couldn't—because she felt guilty. She didn't know if that made her selfish. But Oliver didn't deserve her. Oliver deserved better. She feared if she saw Oliver break, she wouldn't be able to stop herself—she will give up._

_Throughout all of this, she never realized that she was actually losing Oliver. The one man, who had stood by her through everything—she had been slowly and steadily losing him._

_It was all her fault and she was aware of it. But she didn't how to stop this feeling. How to stop feeling the guilt, the hollowness inside of her increased daily. She didn't know how to. _

_But now, she wanted to._

_Thea shot her a wry smile, encircling them around her petite frame, "He'll come around." She whispered softly. Her brother had made sure someone was by her side every time, she wanted to be there for her too. Oliver just needed a little time and space. _

"_Will he?" She whispered, "I don't deserve him. I let him go. I pushed—" Her blue eyes met Thea's, "I pushed him away." _

_That was the moment, Felicity realized._

_She realized that she loved Oliver Queen more than anything in this world._

_She realized that pushing him away wasn't the wisest of choice because she couldn't lose him. Not after she lost her son._

_She realized she needed to try._

_She realized she needed to get better for him._

_She didn't know how to, she just knew—she needed to try. _

_Losing him wasn't an option._

_Just wasn't an option._

…

Felicity hummed to herself while standing in front of the mirror. She blinked twice, scrutinising her look once again. She was wearing a black dress with polka dots on it, a belt right below her breast from where it flowed. She ran a hand through her open hair one last and then took a deep breath.

Last night was hard. She was glad she had taken most of the day, trying to get herself together. A quick glance at the clock told her it was almost three which means it was already past time lunch time.

Honestly, she didn't want to go but then after a little when she got herself together, she realized she had to. She cannot do this to herself every day. Last night had been it.

She was turning away from the idea of being with Oliver. It just wasn't possible. He had moved on with someone else and it was his life. She wasn't a part—well, she was now that she thought of it. She just wasn't in the way she would have like to be.

Well, life isn't always what you want it to be so.

Now that she was aware of the entire situation, she realized that both of them were at fault. His mistake might have been not trusting her enough and not fighting for their love. She chuckled a little. It was something she had always said to him, asking him to fight to be with her. She remembered dreaming about it during those years because all she thought was that Oliver had left her because of Conner, while she was trying to get her life together for him, Oliver had other plans.

It didn't hurt anymore. Now that she had seen the wider picture and realized, how both of them were at fault and Oliver was a different person now. She was a different person now. They had reached their closure about that.

It was something that she couldn't deny. She had _seen _him change. While guarding her heart meant guarding those feelings which she was sure were not mutual (even though her heart did betray her a lot times) again, because she seen something different.

How can you deny something you've seen? He was _with _Laurel. He was about to get married to Laurel. Her heart could say a lot of things to fool her, but reality didn't change. Likewise, she had seen Oliver change. Which is why she chose to believe how they both had gotten carried away that night.

She had _seen _Oliver. She had _felt _Oliver. It reminded her of _her _Oliver. The man she had met when she entered Starling again was different. They were both hurt, both thinking they had been betrayed by the other.

Now, they were healed. Or at least, were in the process of being healed. Maybe all they needed was one another.

They had faltered, they had risen—they were together in this though. At least, when it came to Conner they were.

She didn't even realize when she had gotten used to her baby being gone. It still hurt, she believed it would never fade away. The hole will always be there but it didn't pinch her—not as much as it did before and even if she doesn't admit it enough, somewhere it was because of Oliver. Both of them had helped one another.

Maybe because they were the only two who knew this pain and how to get through the other.

She had seen a lot of things ever since she had come to Starling and she had also reached a lot of conclusions. Oliver had been there with her when it came Conner.

Both of them had been with the other, holding each other hands through it. This, she had finally admitted to herself.

It was he who started it.

"_Say it!"_

"_No-"_

"_Don't test my patience, Felicity!"_

"_Ol-"_

"_Dammit, you need to move on!"_

"_..Conner is dead."_

It was she who ended it.

"_How do you do it?"_

"_Do what?"_

"_Talk to him. Knowing, they would never reply. It's one thing to visit him but talk—"_

"_It's progress, Oliver."_

"_Towards what?"_

"_Accepting reality."_

"_..Hey Champ."_

They had been intertwined, she had realized it. They had been so because they were _parents. _Their son was that one thing that connected them and lo—

She refused to think about that. Like she said, actions speak louder than words. They were connected as parents and now as friends.

This is why she chose to believe, even though initially she been angry at Oliver for leading her on. The truth was they _both _had forgotten Laurel existed. Both had gotten carried away. Now that thought itself, made her question a lot of things but he was with Laurel. She believed she was past that stage where she thought she wasn't like Laurel, it had been the past. Way behind.

But, somehow she felt like she was back in this position in a different way. She did believe now, he valued Laurel more because how can he not? He was her fiancé. Her _fiancé. _She wasn't holding him account, just stating facts. To top it all, they did look good together and it pinched her. CEO and the lawyer, she had thought about this before.

That night, she had been angry. She had furious because she found out they were _engaged. _And then he told her, he wanted to be with her.

She hadn't trusted him. Mainly because, at that point her heart was broken. She went from high to low and then, it hit her.

_One year._

_Laurel Lance._

They had been in a relationship for a year. How can you forget about that so easily? Oliver had already planned on moving on. She didn't have any right over it. Both were aware of it but just got carried it. Which is why she apologized and when he said it back, she didn't expect it but it made her feel better.

Mainly because they were both at fault. She had been on a real high before that, right? And then, all of it went away. It was just something that happened in the moment, how can he want to be with her when he was already with someone else?

Thinking about it rationally had made her reach this conclusion. Actions talk. He was with someone else for almost a _year. _She had been right at the end of the day. He was with Laurel, he had apologized, so had she. It was all in the moment.She had remembered thinking how Oliver and she were not meant to be together, perhaps. Which is why the box in her heart was full of feelings and it was locked away. She opened it briefly for him, but it was futile.

The pain was still there—she wanted to laugh, the old one being replaced by the new one. But it was here to stay. At least for a little while.

Not Oliver. She had just assumed that the hand holding could go past Conner. But, it didn't.

She took a deep breath and nodded to herself. Last night had been harsh. After her date with Ed, she came to a lot of conclusions. There was still a part of her that wanted it all to be over but she wasn't going to let it conquer this time.

She had let go of her _wedding ring._

She had let go of _him. _

Last night, she had shed a lot of tears. She had broken down because she finally letting go of him. The idea of being with him. It had painful. Traitorous parts of her wished she had never visited this city again.

But, today was a new day. A new start. She won't cry again (also because she was pretty sure her eyes were dry now). She knew how she had kept telling herself that for ages. Every single time, she had told herself she would move on but she had never been able to.

Because she had refused to acknowledge that she loved him.

Now, that she had maybe letting go would be easier.

It should be.

Oliver was still in her life though. As Conner's father and as a friend. The hand was still there though, by her side and she can hold onto it when she wanted to—as Conner's mother and as his friend.

Other than that, the hand never existed. She was all alone and she will be okay with it. Sooner or later, she will be.

It was funny how coming to Starling had taught her how to live life again.

And it was a damn shame that it wasn't with Oliver.

…

**April 2012**

_She didn't want to lose him. _

_It was something Felicity had been thinking about for the past few days, how she had drove him over the edge. Thea had reassured her that it was just him wanting some time but again, it all came down to her—didn't it? She was the one to push him away._

_She had always wanted to be there for him but how can she, when she couldn't even handle herself together? How can she try to fix him if she herself was broken?_

_The only thing that had been holding her together was him._

_Now, he was gone too. _

_It felt like that hole inside her heart was still there, it was becoming wider if that was even possible. The hollowness had been increasing daily, but amidst all that she had encountered something else today._

_Determination. _

_She was well aware of how hard it had been for Oliver to see her this way, it had been hard for her too. But he had been trying to meet her half way._

_Now, it was her turn to reach for him. She had been trying to run away from this reality so badly that she managed to leave a few people behind, it was time to reach back for them._

_For him._

_Because, she was in love with Oliver Queen._

_And, a life without him was absolutely unimaginable._

…

Felicity closed the door to her house, turning the knob once just to double check. Nodding to herself, when she realized it was indeed locked she turned around only to find the car that she had called waiting for her.

Unfortunately, her Mini Cooper had failed her this morning. She had called up a mechanic who was supposed to come later today but meanwhile, she did need to go to the office since it was already four and well she _hadn't._

She looked at the black car and before she could make her way towards it, she saw the driver's side door open and Oliver stepping out of it. A frown encased her forehead, her grip on her phone tightening.

Last night, she had promised herself she won't be shedding anymore tears. Today was supposed to mark a new beginning for her, she wasn't letting anything spoil it. "What are you doing here?" Her tone wasn't harsh, rather it was friendly (just like their relationship might she add)

"Well, I heard you needed a ride," Oliver shrugged his shoulders, pointing towards the car, "I am here?"

"I told Gerry to send a driver," Felicity elaborated, trying to reason her surprise.

"Are you not happy that I'm here, Smoak?" Oliver's eyebrow rose and in turn, this caused Felicity's to rise. A huffed laugh escaped her lips. To think the last time they had talked this way, without the tension was back in Coast City.

The days after that had been pretty hectic. While, they both had been adamant about how they were friends, they hadn't exactly gone back to the fun conversations or the level of comfort they had achieved before all of it happened.

Maybe they were embracing this friends thing after all.

"Well, if I remember correctly," Felicity decided to play along, despite being a little hesitant, "You once told me you don't want me there." She pointed at the seat right beside the driver's—the shotgun, a smile on her face. No matter what, this wasn't what she had expected and it certainly did fill her heart with warmth.

"Yeah, well," Oliver tried to reason, "You can sit there. I won't crash, I promise." He walked towards the other side and then opened the door, gesturing for her to get in. Felicity shook her head in amusement, a wry smile on her face as she made her way towards the car.

She stopped right in front of Oliver as if trying to analyse him. "What?" Oliver murmured, his right arm over the door and Felicity shook her head, a little perplexed. Was it just her or was Oliver behaving weirdly?

It should be just her. They were this way before Coast City, right? Of course, they would go back to it. They should. Now that the other relationship is a possible no, maybe they can develop this into a good one.

They were always friends, partners before they started a relationship, right?

Maybe this will be a step towards that.

She got inside the car and Oliver closed the door, walking towards the other door in the next second. Felicity turned around and placed her bag in the backseat followed by putting on the seat belt. Oliver entered inside, shooting Felicity a soft smile. The lady blinked, trying not to get distracted by his cologne. Instead, she turned her eyes around trying to see if anything had changed.

Nothing had. It was surprising that Oliver had kept the same car for years. While they did have drivers, Oliver and Felicity both were fond of driving themselves. It was quite often did they find themselves going on long drives or just around the corner. Sometimes they even raced, remembering this made her chuckle.

This happened to be Oliver's car. He had one previously and she had her Mini Cooper. Sometimes the drivers drove, sometimes it was them. But then, Oliver got himself this car (with his own money, she should add) and she took his old one. He had forced her to saying how her car was small. He actually wanted her to get a new one but she then suggested, taking his old one. He had reluctantly agreed, he wanted to get rid of that Mini Cooper so desperately.

It really used to bother him that he couldn't fit in there properly.

She had her car, he had his. He still had his car—hers _crashed. _She shook her head, trying to get that thought out of her head.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing," She shook her head, "Just about this car. I mean, it hasn't changed. You never got a new one?"

"I never really felt the need to," He replied back and Felicity nodded, "It was mostly used for going to office or the club anyway." She could see him shrug his shoulders and she nodded her head, "You never changed your car either. I see you still got that small car," Oliver laughed and she tilted her head a little, raising her eyebrows, "and it is _still _reliable."

Silence surrounded them and she took that moment, to take her phone out. She hadn't really seen it this morning which was highly unlikely when it came to Felicity Smoak, but to be honest she had loads on her plate. She wanted to spend her entire day in bed, if she wanted to but then she figured she should come here since she was done denying this reality.

Felicity had multiple ways to distract herself unlike Oliver. She looked to her left, as far as she remembered Oliver's one good way of distraction was his work.

But then, Felicity had realized she couldn't distract herself anymore. It was going to get better, sooner or later. Acceptance was the first step towards it.

She skimmed through her messages, coming across the one from this morning. It was sent by Ed and she smiled a little, opening it.

_Good Morning : )_

After last night, for a brief moment she had forgotten about Ed. All her emotions had been so messed up. Oliver had been roaming in her mind.

_Oliver._

Everything came down to him. Now, that she had realized she was in love with him it made all of this harder and better. It didn't matter anyway. If anything last night made her accept that closure. It made her realize a lot of things.

Ed was a good guy. She had been pretty clear to him about her past and he still was willing to give her and them a chance, she admired that. She had said yes to him before all of this had happened. She had wanted to give him a chance because he deserved it and so did she.

She deserved the chance to explore something new with someone else. Oliver had and it was ready to go on another level, she can too. She should too. Edmond was that escape of hers. When she had said yes, she never really thought about moving on.

But can she do it? With him? She didn't know about it. Maybe she will get there too.

She wouldn't mind though.

But for now, she was giving this a chance because she wanted to explore this. Because she deserved this. Because Ed was pretty amazing and she would be a fool to let go of a man like that. She wanted to take a step forward in the other direction, the one away from Oliver and she couldn't be happier if it was with him.

She liked Ed because let's face it, how can she not? The man was gorgeous _and _he was trying to understand her. She had told him how she didn't think she could—but now, she wanted to. It was a rare combination, she admired that. His company had always brought a smile to her face, since the very beginning.

Yeah, she wanted to see where all of this leads for her.

She remembered the conversation they had on the phone when she had called him back. She had told him about she wasn't sure if she could do this but she wanted to.

Holding onto the past wasn't fair to him either. She had told him she wanted to move on, which means letting go of this. Slowly and steadily.

She typed back a response and sent it back, apologizing for not replying sooner. She continued skimming through the rest of the messages, leaning her head against the window of the door. She skimmed through most of the messages and it was all her friends. Messaging a few of them back, she placed the phone back in her lap. She then, whipped her head to face Oliver.

Then, she froze for a second, caught off guard. He didn't even look away—had she _caught _him staring? This was one of things that made her _believe _that maybe he felt something for her.

Just like before. When she used to shrug things off, calling them _maybe. _She used to call them a figment of her imagination because it was. It had to be. He was with someone else for almost a year, now. He went from a relationship to an engagement.

So, she didn't open that box inside of her heart and shrugged this off, because it couldn't be. Now, more than ever.

She turned away, choosing to look down and then her eyes flickered towards the stereo. She bent her body a little, turning on the radio.

"You are not going to make me sing, are you?" She looked up, her head still close to the stereo, "I might." She joked back, settling on one of the stations.

She moved back just as Oliver let out a chuckle. Just as she was about to get comfortable, the song on the radio grabbed her attention.

_What day is it? And in what month?_

_This clock never seemed so alive_

_I can't keep up and I can't back down_

_I've been losing so much time_

_'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do, nothing to lose_

_And it's you and me and all of the people_

_And I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you_

Her eyes snapped open and then they met Oliver's. She hadn't even heard this song in such a long while because of the memories attached to it. Her ex-husband didn't say a word, his lopsided smile was telling her that he was reminiscing too. She didn't look away either, her didn't even blink once behind those glasses. She felt like she was transported back to that time.

Was it worth it? Reminiscing though? Thinking about her _wedding _day where her husband danced with her for the first time on this song. Was it really? She remembered that day so vividly, and now—she didn't know what to think of it. Oliver had been pretty adamant about their first song to be something he got to choose, she didn't even know about it until the moment it started to play at the wedding.

He did it all for her. Their vows and their dance were what their wedding day for her, _he _had made it all happen for her.

Wasn't she supposed to put all this past her?

The next second, she blinked breaking the eye contact and suddenly, the moment was over. She moved away and Oliver sighed to himself.

She leaned down and begin changing the station, "Let it—"Oliver's voice broke at the end and Felicity stared at him, her hand hovering over it.

He wished it wasn't this way. He wished she was comfortable with all of it, maybe a couple of days ago he would have not liked this reminder too. But he did. He wanted to reminisce it and move forward too. But she was thinking differently at the moment. He paused for a second, a huff of air escaping his lips. His hand tightened on the steering wheel, "Yeah, change it."

Maybe someday they'll get used to their old memories.

Maybe someday they can get to relive them again.

Someday.

…

**May 2012**

_Somedays, Oliver had to pinch himself to see if all of true._

_It felt different. Ever since they had lost their son, things have been different and he had expected them to be. However, this emotional trauma had been too much for all of them. His family had been on the edge for the past few months._

_They had lost a one year old. He was a baby who didn't even get to see the world. He had just uttered his first words, had just learned how to walk and had just started to realize the love people had for him._

_Just began to._

_All of them had tried to deal with it separately. Felicity had been full of guilt and it had broken Oliver._

_Every time when he woke up, her silence was what greeted him rather than her beautiful smile. They often said that eyes were a window of one's souls._

_Hers seemed to be empty. He hadn't known how to invoke all those feelings into her back again._

_Her eyes had begun to haunt him because it didn't resemble the Felicity he loved. The one that he was in love with was a beacon of hope, was his light at the end of the table. It was always she who had held him together, she was his rock. _

_But the tables had turned for a little while. He hadn't backed down though, he had wanted to be by her side through everything. He had told him that he wasn't going to until she started to believe in herself again._

_It was hard though. _

_He had felt like he was standing at one end, waiting for her to walk down a path and reach him but she hadn't had the strength too. Slowly, he had begun losing himself too. _

_It was then when he had walked away. He hadn't walked away from her. Just from this feeling. He had hated it. The feeling of dread, thinking about what if they never get out of this. The fear of losing her too. _

_It had felt like he was losing his old life, losing her._

_But then, things begin to change._

_She met him halfway. He didn't know how it was happening. His days were brighter now. There was still pain and it was going to take a long while for them to get used to it. _

_But they were beside one another now, he was reaching out to her now. They had been days where he would do just anything to see her smile, now she did—for him. They had been days, where he wanted to break down in her arms and cry. Just cry. Now he had._

_They still weren't perfect, they still were finding they ground but it was something._

_Oliver had started to see his old life again._

_And maybe, a new one too._

…

Oliver was in his cabin, unsure how to approach this topic. He still wasn't sure when she was aware that he in fact had broken up with Laurel. It had went viral this morning, the news. Her reaction to him this morning did not show that she was aware of it—or she just didn't care enough and he _refused _to believe that for the sake of his own sanity.

He should talk to her about it, make her know of it. He had been running away from this for so long that he wanted her to know where he was right now.

_Miscommunications lead to misunderstandings, Oliver._

He knew he had too. He wanted to talk to her and _tell _her. That had always been his initial plan too right? To _tell _her. He had always known she would be hesitant but he had in his in mind then that he would convince her. He had strength in him then. He had hope, _her _hope in him.

But then, it went away. She had told him she didn't believe in him. It was yesterday did he realize, she did. She believed in him which is why she came back. She wanted to be his friend because she did.

He did a lot of thinking, she came back to him. She gave him a chance as a _friend. _

She believed in _him. _

She didn't believe in _them. _

He _did _however.

He believed in them.

He had to.

Telling her how he wanted to be with her was a step in that direction. He had chosen to believe his heart and his heart told him she cared. She _cared _a lot. He didn't care what his mind told him, he had put that past him.

She cared and he wanted to tell her, how much he cared too. He cared more than she could fathom, more than a friend.

So, he had to tell her. He wasn't hiding away from the truth. He wasn't with Laurel anymore because he loved her. Because he wanted to be with her. Before all of this, his life had been full of maybes.

Now, it wasn't. This was it.

_She was it._

….

**May 2012**

_He still didn't know how to ask her. But really, did it matter anyway? She was gone. _

_For the first time, in a long while did he finally have hope. She had asked him out and he had thought to himself to himself that maybe he was overthinking, how he should talk to her about it before reaching a conclusion. _

_Except she had, hadn't she?_

_She was going to go to Central City and leave him behind. He slammed the door behind him the minute he entered his room. He still didn't know how he was able to make it here. His eyes were full of tears, his face accompanying a frown—he still wasn't sure how all of it had happened._

_How had they reached this point? _

_His knees buckled, much like it had did a couple of hours ago. He wasn't sure how he had been himself together. His lips wobbled and he bit it tightly, trying to stop it. He wanted to stop feeling this way. It wasn't worth it, was it?_

_They weren't worth it._

_They weren't there anymore._

_He collapsed, holding on to the mahogany table, right against the couch. How can they reach this point? _

_After everything that they had endured together, everything they were willing to face together, it felt like he was standing there all alone. _

_Scratch that, he was all alone. All this while he had been trying to deny the reality, every step they took towards one another filled his heart with hope, killing that seed of doubt inside of him._

_But in the end, it didn't matter. _

_Talking to her about all of this would be futile. He couldn't even handle the news now, how would he be able to do it if she tells her that? He pulled his knees together and fisted his hands in a vain attempt to hold himself together._

_He had tried to run away from Conner's death a lot of times, sometimes for her sake and sometimes for his own. He had also broken down about it a few times, not being able to be that strong enough. _

_But, he didn't have that strength right now. This all seemed like a nightmare, not only had he lost his child, he lost his wife too. _

_These tears weren't stopping and he couldn't handle all of this. His hands were shaking because deep down he still had some hope left for them. Even though, a lot of things were going awry for them, there was something he had been holding on to._

_But, it was nothing. _

_There had been nothing to hold on to._

_There was not left to believe in, his wife was gone too. _

_He thought they had been it, she had been it for him. _

_Guess, she wasn't._

…

Felicity tapped her hands on the table as she waited for Curtis. She had been wanting to know about their product that the two of them had been working on. She had handed over the source codes to him a couple of days ago and since then she hadn't gotten a chance to talk to him or ask for status update.

Well, she was a little busy herself caught up in her personal life. God dammit, it had been a mess. She literally went from envisioning a life with someone to now contemplating leading it alone or with someone else.

She did feel a little better today, so that was good. She never expected these feelings to go away. Actually she expected them to last forever. But she also thought she would never get over Conner. But she did.

This should come around too.

She picked up the photo frame lying on her office table. Initially, when she came here it bothered a little. Actually she found it a little weird how there was no Oliver picture on her table. She never really thought about it before, when she was back in Central City. Maybe because it was a constant reminder of how much had things changed.

And they had changed yet _again. _

"Hey," She heard and she dropped the frame right where it was, her eyes landing on Oliver who was standing at the threshold of her cabin. To say she was surprised would be an understatement.

"Oliver?" She frowned, tilting her head a little and the man grinned, entering her cabin. He was holding two cups of coffee.

Was he taking this friendship thing way too seriously or she wasn't thinking much about it? Maybe it was just her. They relationship had been a rocky road since the beginning, they had finally found a common ground. It was just seeming weird because it was _them._

There was a smile on her face, "Come on in." He made a beeline towards her and took the cup of coffee from him, "You are bringing me coffee." She pouted her lips together, pretending to be in deep thought, "Do you do this with all your friends?" She mused and Oliver sat on the chair right opposite to her.

"Well, for the special ones," He joked, shooting a smile her way and Felicity faltered for a second, "…Right," She didn't let go of the smile though.

Yeah, it's going to take a little time before she gets used to this. It felt a little different than before, because she was actively aware that she wanted something else or _had _wanted something else.

She didn't mind though. If Oliver and she are able to achieve the relationship they had before everything happened, it was a good thing.

They were always partners first.

"Who were you waiting for?" Oliver asked.

"Curtis," Felicity nodded her head, "Remember the battery we were making?" She took a sip of her cappuccino, "The one you got us more time for. "

"Right, of course," He nodded, "That was a good idea. I—I'm glad you are on the team, Felicity."

Felicity paused for a second, a little surprised before gaining her momentum back and winking at him—or at least she tried to, "We make a good team."

There was a pregnant pause for a second and then, Oliver finally started to talk, "Do you remember," This peaked Felicity's interest, "when you told me that we—" He started, "Both of us don't want to be stuck in the past anymore." His fingers rubbed against one another.

Felicity straightened up the minute he said those words. Her eyes widened a little, she licked her lips, "Yeah?"

Was he going to talk about last night? She had been so caught up about herself that she didn't even think about his reaction. Was this about that?

"You were right," He smiled a little and Felicity let out a sigh she didn't even know she was holding, "To let go of the past and embrace the future." Oliver continued and she pursued her lips together and looked downwards. She closed her eyes and nodded her head, trying to grasp everything he just said, "You're—you're right." Her eyes opened, meeting his.

She expected him to stop right there, the sentenced seemed to be over.

This was it.

Her closure.

Surprisingly, she was dealing with all of this better than she had expected herself to.

"But," She was caught off guard, "What if I say—"

"Felicity?" She immediately snapped out of the moment, the minute Oliver turned his head to see who had interrupted them. She leaned towards the left, to see past him only to find Curtis peeking his head inside the cabin, "Are you two talking about something? I can come back later."

"Actually, we were but I—"Felicity looked at Oliver for a response and he shook his head followed by letting out a sigh, "Go. We'll talk properly after this."

She nodded her head, getting up from her chair. She wiped the imaginary dust off her dress, letting out a puff of air from her lips before making a beeline towards Curtis.

What was Oliver going to say further? Is there anything left to talk about? How come there was a 'but' at the end of the sentence?

"Did I interrupt something?" Curtis started talking the moment she came out of the cabin, "I didn't mean to. I was here with this." He waved the file in the air and Felicity shook her head. She tried to get herself together, pressing her hand against her forehead for a second, "It's fine."

Yeah, it must be something about moving on and their friendship. But 'I want you in life like a friend or something'.

She shook her head, focusing on the file instead, "The codes are working just fine?"

"For now, yeah," Curtis nodded, "I think I might a few more resources though." He told her and Felicity hummed in response, "Did you ask Colin?" He happened to be the head of Applied Sciences and the former Olympian nodded, "I just got an approval this morning actually. I would have asked Mr. Queen but we all know about the breakup so I figured he might be in a bad spot and asking you was better. Not to mention you are also the one heading this—"

Felicity looked up, "Break-breakup?" She hesitated.

Curtis stopped mid rant, "You didn't know? It's all over the news. He broke up with Ms. Lance," He shrugged his shoulders. He wasn't really aware of their relationship although he had heard rumours of how the two of the them didn't get along before because of their past, but he had also heard and _seen _that they got along well now, so he figured she knew about it. He didn't think much about it but her reaction told him a different story.

Felicity pushed the file towards his chest, making a beeline back towards her cabin. She didn't know how she was feeling at the moment. The minute she opened the door, she found him standing right there.

Her breath hitched and he seemed _calm. _They were standing close to one another and this vicinity wasn't affecting her as much as this was.

It seemed like she was stuck. She was experiencing something akin to a shock. A surprise, something she never anticipated.

He licked his lips together as if expecting this reaction and Felicity didn't waste a second, "Did you break up with Laurel?" She looked into his eyes, waiting for a response.

Oliver was caught off guard for a second before coming himself. He licked his lips, "Felicity," He chose to say instead and her eyes widened, "I did." He sounded confident.

Her eyes started to become moist, the next word coming out on its own, "Why?"

Oliver let out a deep breath. His hands were placed in his pockets, his eyes not looking away from hers. He wanted her to know he was being sincere, that there was nothing to hide to anymore, "You know why." It was so soft and yet so powerful.

Felicity let out the sigh she was holding. Her fingers twitched, a sheer parody of Oliver's nervous tick.

_I want to be with you._

Those were the words he told her once, didn't he?

That he wanted to be with her.

He envisioned a future with her.

She didn't know what to think of it. She looked at him and then away from him in disbelief, millions of thought running through her head but yet nothing was hitting her. No words were escaping her lips. She did the only thing she could think off.

"Felici—" Oliver started but she didn't listen to him, instead choosing to turn around and walk away.

This all seemed too overwhelming for her. She had just started to accept reality, had just started to let him go.

But, here he was holding her back.

She shook her head repeatedly, not even realizing that she made her way past Curtis. She _ran._

She didn't know what to think of it, she didn't know how to deal with it. She unconsciously made her way towards the terrace, wanting to get some air to escape all of this. She walked towards the railing and clutched it tightly, finally trying to grasp everything that had happened.

It was then it finally hit her.

Her mouth parted open in disbelief, her knuckles turning white as she held on to the railing. Her eyes _burned_. Her vision turned blurry as a cross between a gasp and a sob escaped her lips.

_I want to be with you._

She had never anticipated this to happen, this wasn't reality was it?

Because, Oliver Queen had just offered her his hand.

Because, he wanted this.

He wanted to be with _her. _

_Both of us need to let go of the past and embrace the future, but what if I say I want to do it all with you?_

**A/N : Done and Done :D I hope you all liked it! **

**Last time, Oliver didn't trust their love enough. Did not believe in their love enough, now he does. He's halfway there now. **

**I hope you all liked it! Drop me a PM or a review or you can always approach me on twitter.**

**Luvya all, **

**Srishti x**


	33. Chapter Twenty Nine : Final Steps

**Hey you all! How are you?**

**Thank you so much for the wonderful reviews and the response, I am so grateful for everything. I am glad you all are enjoying the story.**

**The flashbacks are a little mixed up. Because now that we know the entire story, these flashbacks are just the missing pieces and it's more to create parallel now. Thank you for reading! x**

**Here is the much awaited next chapter :D Hope you all like it x**

**Word Count : 8931**

"**A relationship is a two way street." **

**Chapter Twenty Nine : Final Steps**

_I want to be with you._

Felicity had often dreamt about this. When the two of them had parted ways initially, she had started to have nightmares. Amidst them, sometimes she had dreams. She used to dream about Oliver showing up at her doorstep, telling her how he wanted to be with her, she used to dream about a future that had slipped right through her fingers.

It was then she had realized. Dreams were far more painful than nightmares. For a brief second, dreams make you hope. They make you _expect. _It was weird really. They say, it is hope what runs the world but it also hope that demolishes it.

Isn't that what exactly happened to her? _Twice._

Initially, when she had started to get better and Oliver and she had started to find that normalcy again, she had _hoped._ Her days had stopped being miserable back then, every day she used to tell herself that she needed to fight her demons to be with him. Sometimes, Oliver used to pull back and she had always assumed it was because he had been grieving too. She had made sure she was by his side through every time and so had he. He had told her, how he was beside her through everything too.

_Moving on without Conner. _

She still remembered his words. They had been finding their way back to one another.

But then, everything collapsed.

Post that, she had started to guard her heart.

She had started to believe that love led to pain, loving _him _had led to pain, right? No matter what, the hollowness inside of her didn't go away. She had started to feel whole, but that feeling had been taken away. She had felt like she was back where she had started from. The feeling of loneliness and guilt had seeped into her yet again. Soon, it turned into hate for him.

All because of _hoping._

All because of _loving._

It was later on when she came back to this city did she realize, how different all of it had been. How it all had been a misunderstanding. She had gone from a woman who couldn't stand the sight of her ex-husband, to realizing she loved him.

He had opened her heart again, in ways she didn't know was possible.

She had started to hope again.

She had started believe in them again.

But what had happened?

It had shattered into pieces yet again. The future that she had allowed herself to envision, never even existed to begin with.

It hurt. The pain ripped her heart to shreds, the realization that there is nothing for the two of them beyond this ripped her to shreds.

_Seeing it this close and it is gone. _

Those are the words she told Tommy.

This is why it hurt more than it should. While she knew, realizing that she loved him was probably better for her since now letting go might be easier, but _envisioning _that future and then it slips through your fingers again—that was harsh.

...what if she gets to live it?

That night, both of them had gotten carried away, what if this was that too? What if all of it shatters and she is left to pick up the pieces.

A deep breath escaped her lips, her eyes snapping shut. A tear leaked down from the corner of her eye. Now that she was alone, she could finally address the emotions she was feeling.

She felt surprised, anticipation bubbling inside of her. Something akin to hope had started to simmer yet again, before she realized something.

She was faltering yet again.

Isn't that what she had promised herself last night? She had finally gathered the courage to walk away from him. Last night, she had opened her heart completely. She had cried for everything, every single emotion she had ever felt.

She had cradled her knees and had cried over her lost son. She had cried over her family that she had lost—a family that she had back, she cried over Oliver.

She cried that their relationships could never go back the way they were. Not anytime soon.

They say, relationships were like a thread. If you break them and try to fix it, there is always knot. She knew it was the beginning, she knew she had been overthinking—but she couldn't help it.

Last night was the _last _time had she let her heart out in the open.

Today, it was shut close and he was trying to open it yet again.

But how?

_One year._

He had been in a relationship with Laurel for a year. He had trusted her enough to be with her, to _propose _to her. He was in a relationship. So what if, this was just him being carried away again?

Isn't that what she had told herself once? _Actions talk._ He had moved on long before she knew. He had always been stuck in the past because of Conner, not because of her.

Never because of her.

Oh god, she was thinking about this _again. _Wasn't the previous night enough? Wasn't everything that she had told herself last night, enough?

You can't just give up on somebody you were with for a year, and especially someone like Laurel, _gorgeous _Laurel.

Isn't this what she had told herself. Laurel was the perfect partner. Probably a better partner than her. Because he went to her, after their relationship broke.

Their relationship couldn't survive whatever this was thrown at them but he had found solace with Laurel, so how can she believe that he was leaving her? How can he leave her behind?

She was right there in her home—hadn't he told her that she had never visited the place? She was there.

This wasn't possible, was it?

And what if-there it was again, a little spark of hope-it did happen but how can they survive this, they had never been able to before.

What if—Her eyes opened, her grip on the railing losing—this was all an illusion yet again?

She'll _break._

She knew she will. Because if she listened to her heart, she might get to live this dream.

A man she had envisioned all of this with, but her dream shattered every time.

Was she really falling in that abyss again?

Was she really listening going to trust her heart again?

The hope vanished, leaving reality in its wake. Last night, she had told herself that this reality might be brutal but she was strong enough to get through it.

She will.

A wry smile came on her face. For one brief second, she allowed herself to smile. A puff of air escaped her lips which tasted salty because of her tears. She wasn't smiling at the fact that for a brief moment, she had anticipated. She had witnessed hope.

She was smiling at the irony.

She was smiling at the joke that was her life. The universe was playing her yet again, he was standing in front of her—and all of this would backfire yet again.

She loved Oliver a lot. She had realized this long ago, she had started to believe in him, in _them._

But there was no them.

Sooner or later, he would realize that all of this was a mistake because it always has turned out bad for them or worse that he was still in love with Laurel.

She wasn't his consolation prize, she refused to be that.

They had forgotten about Laurel once. It was then she had told herself that she would always be around. He had with her for a long time, he can go back to her. And she would have to endure that heartbreak, all over again.

She can't.

They say, let the matters of the heart be the matters of the heart. But what happens, when you always end up being heartbroken?

_I want to be with you._

You start ignoring it.

…

**June 2012**

_Felicity sat on her bed, her knees pulled up towards her chest. She was staring right ahead of her, at nothing in particular. Her vision was blurry and she was well aware of it, but she made no move to wipe those tears away. Sooner or later, new ones will replace them. _

_I wish it was you that had died that night. _

_You ruined my life. _

_Her fingers gripped the bedsheet as if it was her lifeline, every now and then the words popped into her head. His face flashing before her eyes, his eyes full of sorrow and fury, she shuddered a little recalling that moment again. _

_How was she supposed to get past this? _

_He had been her motivation. She had been willing to go through all of this because he happened to be at the end of it. Her psychiatrist had called him, 'the light at the end of the tunnel'. That was exactly what it was, right? _

_She had told her that eventually she would find her way back to him. _

_She had. _

_What she hadn't warned her about, was that this time he might leave her behind. He had waited for her at the end of tunnel, and she had almost made it—until he vanished._

_It had taken her a while to realize that maybe he wasn't there to begin with. Maybe he himself was surrounded by his own issues, the grief and the anger—against her had been piling up inside him._

_She had also realized that maybe that was piling up inside of her too. Again._

_The feeling was back, it seemed prominent yet again. The feeling that she was the one who killed her child. _

_The anger was there too. She was angry at herself, for ruining their lives, she was angry at him—for leaving her the way he did._

_The feeling was back._

_She was faltering yet again and she was aware of it._

_And she didn't know how to go back from it._

_Because her rock, was gone too._

_And now, she was the only one left to pick up the pieces. _

…

Oliver stepped inside the terrace, his heart racing. He had been downstairs for quite a while, expecting her to make an appearance. He knew she won't accept it like this. When he had thought of telling her about all of this before, he had thought about all of this.

He knew it would be hard but he had to try. He stepped inside and his eyes focused on her back. He realized, she had stiffened the minute he had done so.

She didn't even turn around, he realized. He wondered if it happened with her to. She shrugging off her feelings, calling them 'maybe'. She trying to ignore the reality, pretending it never happened because pretending was easier.

Now that he gained clarity, he had stopped all of it.

He wasn't going to dangle maybes anymore.

He wasn't going to turn away from his happiness. There was hope inside of him. Hope for their relationship. If whatever happened in Coast City was true, then she felt the same way too. And he chose to believe in that.

He chose to believe in their relationship.

"You never came back," He whispered, a little hesitant. He placed his hands inside his pockets, taking a deep breath, his shoulders sagging and made his way towards her.

"So you came looking for me," Felicity's voice was hoarse and Oliver closed his eyes for a second, it seemed like she had been crying and it broke his heart. He moved his feet, choosing to stand right beside her. "I did," He breathed out.

"But what if I had already left?" Felicity whispered, turning her head right, looking at him and Oliver blinked, finally looking at her, "What?" He frowned.

Felicity didn't turn away, "What if I am already gone?" Her gaze was intense and for a second, Oliver was caught off guard. The lines on his forehead disappeared, his mouth parting open unconsciously as he gave it a thought, "Then I would have looked for you. I would have found you." He breathed out, "Always."

Neither of the two turned away from the other, their eyes locked on like magnets. She was startled momentarily by the fierce look in his eyes, her watery ones trying to look through him. He didn't turn away once, trying to understand her. Something akin to determination and love flashed between those eyes and Felicity could have given in.

She really could have.

Instead she turned away.

She sniffed, side stepping a little and looked down at the ground, afraid to meet his eyes for a second. She took a deep breath, gaining some momentum and finally looked up, staring at him.

"You okay?" He asked her softly and she nodded, "Yeah." She said, "Just wanted some air." She looked up in the sky, at the stars.

"Did it work?" Oliver tried to make a small talk and Felicity's shoulders sagged, "A little." She felt like their dynamic was shifting back to normal.

And what was normal for them?

_Friends._

"Do you—do you that stars don't actually twinkle, Oliver? It's an optical illusion," She murmured, "Somethings are just not real but people want them to be real," She looked at him, "They really want it to be real because it seems beautiful but—but it isn't," She sighed, "It isn't." She repeated the last part to herself.

"What are you talking about?" Lines marred his forehead as he tried to understand what she meant.

"I'm saying," She turned to face him, wanting him to know what she meant, "is that I have figured out my life, Oliver," She paused for a second, "Now it's time you figure out yours. This isn't—" She breathed out softly, "Real."

It wasn't.

Just like it wasn't in the past.

"Felicity—" He started a little confused, a frown encasing his forehead. He shook his head a little, his hand reaching forward wanting to reach for hers but she took a step back, moving away. His face crumbled, his hand stopping mid-air grabbing onto nothing.

He had expected some of this. Back when he had imagined, telling her the truth, he had anticipated a reaction that was somewhat similar to this but yet it wasn't.

It was the _eyes. _There had been a time, where Oliver had missed the emotion behind them. He remembered realizing how they had _stopped _looking at one another with expectation, but they had gained that back. Isn't that why they ended up being _friends?_

But right now, they seemed _blank._ There had been a lot of times, Oliver had tried to decipher emotion in them. A lot of times where he fought within himself, trying to convince himself that it might be different from what he perceived them to be.

It sort of reminded him of the time, she—he didn't want to think about that.

The funny thing was, now that he had gained clarity, she seemed _lost._

She wasn't expecting anything from him.

It was the words.

_This isn't real. _

Did she not believe his words were real? That these emotions weren't real? His face twisted in pain, realizing that maybe somethings were much worse than he thought. He opened his mouth, trying to form some words out. It was easy, he realized.

Now that he knew what he wanted, it was easy to talk about it—to say the words that he had never been able to before. But would she believe him?

Will she try to believe him?

Before he could utter a word however, Felicity took another step back, her eyes landing on the ground for one brief second before she met his eyes again and he frowned. It would have destroyed him further, had he not realized that it was because somebody was calling out for the two of them.

"What?" He gritted through his teeth, frustrated because why can't anybody just leave the two of them alone for once?

"Mr. Steele is Miss Smoak's cabin," He mumbled, stuttering as he was well aware that he had interrupted a moment between the two, "He wanted to talk about the battery project and—" He breathed, "the finances."

"Yeah, I'm handling that," Felicity spoke, "I'll be right behind you." It was surprising how she had gained her composure back in a minute, maybe she really had left that old feeling behind.

The employee nodded, leaving the two of them together alone once again and Felicity flashed Oliver a small smile, as if marking this as the end of the conversation and tried to walk past him. _Tried, _being the keyword.

"Don't—" Oliver started, this time finally grabbing her hand. His hold was firm but soft and Felicity's breath hitched, her eyes landing on their joined hands. "I am not done yet," He whispered, and she finally looked up, at him.

It was so easy to give in, so easy to be with him again. Here he was, doing everything that Felicity had ever dreamed off but the thing was, and she did feel it, all of it. But she was guarding her heart this time, and she wasn't going to expose it again like she did the last time.

That didn't turn out well, did it?

"Oliver," She let out a deep breath, using her free hand to break the hold he had over hers, "I am," She breathed out, "It's not real, we've tried—" She paused, sniffing a little, "It never worked out," She mumbled under her breath, "Whatever this is," She was referring to the situation, "It's not real and sooner or later, you'll see the reality and it will all—" Her eyes turned moist, "Break."

She closed her eyes for a second and then, looked at him one last time. She turned and walked away from him. Her shoulders sagged, her eyes welling away with tears but she refused to give up again.

She really meant it when she had said she had let go.

…

It had taken a while for Oliver to react. The words she had told him ricocheted in his head and for a while, he was stunned.

Because of it was so intense.

In that one moment, he had realized how much damage had been done. He pulled his hand back slowly, his fingers twitching. In that moment, he had realized how much had he pushed her to the edge, and how much—he let out a sigh, staring at the sky—would he need to do to win her _trust _back.

_It's not real._

_You'll see reality and it'll break._

He placed his hand on the back of his neck, and close his eyes, letting out a deep breath. She walking him had reminded him of last night and if there was anything, he wasn't going to let that happen again.

He had really pushed her away, hadn't he? While last had made him realize that he wanted to hold on, she _let go._ The wedding ring she had left behind was a sign of it. She was leaving _that _relationship behind to embrace a new one.

_Friends._

Wasn't he the one to tell her that?

She didn't believe it was all real, that any of it was real. The reason why he had told her what he felt was because he was done hiding away from this relationship or what he felt about her. It was _real_. All of it was and he was going to tell her that.

He was going to _show _her that.

This entire situation, reminded of him of last night. It played in the form of flashes right before his eyes, she handing him then ring and then _walking away._ And soon, that memory faded away and was left staring at the empty space in front of him.

_No, _it won't happen again.

It had taken him this long to reach her, this _clarity. _No, he wasn't going to let it go this soon.

It'll be a lot harder than he had imagined.

But he had meant it when he said that he wasn't letting go.

…

Oliver stepped out of the elevator, his eyes wondering around looking for the person he wanted to talk to. He knew accepting this might be difficult for her, _especially _after he saw that reaction but he wasn't going to let her believe that it wasn't _real_ when all of it was.

There had been a lot of things that he had wanted to say, a lot of things he had been afraid to say before but now that he had gained the strength, he wasn't backing out.

It might not be the entire journey, but it was a step. The first step towards all of it, rebuilding each other back.

_Miscommunication leads to misunderstandings, Oliver._

Not this time.

He entered her cabin, expecting her to be there but was surprised when he didn't find her there. Something dropped in the pit of his stomach, something akin to dread taking over him because he _knew _what this meant.

The cabin door cracked open yet again and he found Gerry standing on the opposite end, "Where is Felicity?" He asked, hoping it wasn't what he think it was.

"She left," Gerry mumbled out the response and Oliver closed his eyes in frustration, "When—" He opened his eyes, "When did she say she'll come back?"

"She actually told us she might on a leave for a little while and do everything from home instead-we thought she might have told you about it."

"No, she didn't," Oliver let out a sigh, closing his eyes, "I mean, we-" He paused, pressing the bridge of his nose, "Nothing." He said at last, looking for the appropriate words. "You should go."

She _left._

Of course, she did.

And Oliver felt like he had lost yet again. He hated himself for it. For making this happen yet again. He had expected her to push him away but—but she had left, and he hadn't said what he wanted to say.

The words were _still _inside of him and that is what hurt the most.

Had he really pushed her over the edge? Was coming back from last night, really going to be that difficult? The only good thing that had happened in the past few hours was that not even once, did he think of backing out.

Was this how it was for Felicity as well? Back when, she was trying to get over Conner—did this happen with her too? The guilt sweeping inside of her every now and then, but she conquered it, because she wanted to be with him.

So, why can't he?

He clenched his fists together, gritting his teeth as he tried to understand all of it. He had pushed her over the edge and she—didn't believe it was real.

He took his phone out, scrolling through his contact list and then came across the number he was looking for. His thumb hovered over her name for a second, pressing it the next moment. He placed the cell against his ear and let out a groan when he found out it was switched off.

Her phone was actually switched off.

His hold on his phone tightened, his frustration reaching its peak. His hand dropped, his anger unleashing. He was angry with himself for letting all of this happen—he raised his hand in the air, ready to throw it away.

His hand stopped mid-air, the anger in his eyes faded away, the lines on his forehead disappearing when his gaze landed on the frame that was kept on her office table. He had seen her staring at this frame quite a lot of times. It was his family—the one he lost.

The one he wanted back.

He hesitated for a second, staring at the phone in his hand and shook his head. The smile on his face was small, his eyes depicting his remorse as he recalled-_One more phone. Seriously, Oliver?_

He dropped his phone back in his pocket, his hands reaching for the frame. Maybe for once, maybe this frame won't withhold what he lost but what he could have _again._

He remembered this picture-he remembered all their moments and he also, remembered-it suddenly dawned on him.

A sigh escaped his lips, his shoulders sagging the minute he realized it.

She wasn't just pushing him away, she was refusing to believe it was _real._

Just like she had done before.

"Of course," He mumbled under his breath, his eyes never leaving the frame. He knew Felicity, he knew how she deals with things.

The blank eyes—it reminded him of the time she had lost Conner and she _refused _to accept any of it. Because accepting it would be painful.

Was this the same? Had all of this become this painful that she had to resort to this? Is this why he wasn't surprised when he found out she was gone?

When things become too painful—she _runs._

He kept the frame back down, his thumb caressing the side of the picture which had his ex-wife. He hadn't realized this.

His doctor had been right, It indeed was a two way street.

It wasn't just about him, it was about her too. He had made it so painful for her—she ran.

He is going to have to make her believe and she is going to have to stop running.

"It was real, Felicity," He mumbled, a new realization dawning on him, "It was. And you can't run away from this one."

He won't let her.

…

Felicity Smoak had a plan. A plan that was supposed to begin two days ago where she was supposed to move on with her life (happily, may she add). But things didn't go according to her plan-because of course, it didn't.

But turns out, things can still go smoothly. Maybe going back to Queen Consolidated wasn't the best of plan. Maybe she did need a few days of rest at home, so that she can get herself together.

She had been pretty sure that she _wanted _to move on, she hated being the only one being stuck in the past that didn't exist anymore. She had told herself that she is going to lead her life normally. Oliver was a friend, nothing more.

Except things changed.

So, she realized she needed to put behind Oliver too. He somehow instead of trying to make her move forward, was now holding her back-and she didn't want that to happen.

She had already suffered a lot because of it. She refused to go back and fall into that abyss again.

So, here she was. Working from her home.

It wasn't bad, honestly. She should have done this before. Going back out there suddenly, might have been a bad idea.

She entered her kitchen and poured herself a cup of coffee. Heading towards the living room then, she sat on her couch, turning on the television.

'_Oliver Queen and Laurel Lance breaking—'_

She changed the channel in an instant. The funniest part was, that as much as she tried to escape the reality, it won't let her leave.

She turned off her television, throwing away the remote on the other end of the couch. Placing the cup of coffee on the table, she laid her head against the couch and closed her eyes.

There were times, his words played in her head and she often wondered if they really were true. Her heart told her they were, but she had heard her heart before—so, really should she go down that road again?

The _pain_—she knew she couldn't handle it. She knew she wouldn't be able to handle it. It wasn't real, is what she had told him. Sooner or later, he would see the reality and she will _break. _

She couldn't go through that pain again. She refused to but then why—

A tear tricked down the corner of her eye and she wiped it away.

Why was it hurting now too?

…

**Feb 2013**

_Felicity was walking down the road when it happened. It was supposed to be a good day. She had a Starbucks cup in hands, yeah it seemed like a good day._

_But as it turns out, it wasn't. _

_It was supposed to be a normal day but then she found herself walking down the path, right across the park. Her eyes had fixated themselves on the children playing in the park and she knew she shouldn't. She had work to get to. _

_She had more important things to do._

_But here she was. Her eyes followed those kids, their parents standing on the side-lines watching them play._

_If Conner had been alive, would he be like this too? He would have played in the park and they would have stood on the side lines, watching him play. He would have been two now-would have been. _

_Except he wasn't around._

_And neither was Oliver._

_She didn't realize, until she felt the moisture on her cheek. Sometimes, living like this hurt. Putting everything behind herself was one thing but sometimes, these barriers broke and she couldn't stop them from breaking._

_Sometimes, she wondered if one day she will break. She didn't know when that will happen or if one day, she would actually get used to all of this._

_Maybe this was her punishment for taking him away._

_She let out a breath, wiping that tear away and cracked a smile. It was hard at first, but now it was a habit. _

_She made her way towards her work, focusing on her projects instead._

…

"She's not answering any of my calls," Oliver told his doctor and Lisa nodded, trying to understand the severity of the situation, "She's closed herself off."

"Yeah," He told her, playing with his fingers. He had tried calling her but she won't answer any of his calls. He had expected her to show up at work within a few days but two days in, there was no sign of her.

"Why did you never talk about Conner before, Oliver?" Lisa asked him, leaning against her chair. The pen in her hand was pressed against the writing pad.

"What?" Oliver frowned, caught off guard. The psychiatrist didn't say a word, allowing him to grasp it, "I just never did." He mumbled.

"Because," Lisa started, trying to explain it to him, "You had opened up about it to Felicity once and it didn't turn out well." She shot him a small smile, "So, you closed yourself off because you thought maybe it's better off this way."

"Why are we talking about this?" Oliver frowned.

"Because that's exactly what Felicity is going through," She offered, "She's running away—"

"Because she is tired of getting hurt." The blonde ended it on a softer note, finally making the connection.

Over the past few days, while Felicity had been away he had given this situation a lot of thinking. Everybody was well aware of _why _he had done it, and were supporting him however, the one person who he did this for, didn't. Because he had pushed her too far.

She didn't trust their love anymore. She was afraid of ending up heartbroken again and it hurt him, thinking of this. Realizing he is the reason behind all of this.

Why she was running _yet again._

He had realized all of this a while ago, but it was his efforts that hadn't really been fruitful yet.

"I think—" He finally shared what had been on his mind for these past two days, "I shouldn't have gone back to Laurel. Maybe then, it wouldn't be what it is today."

He shouldn't have. He might have realized what was right later on, but if he hadn't gone back to Laurel—maybe things would have been different.

Maybe she would have believed him instead.

_It's not real._

_It'll all break._

"Everything happens for a reason, Oliver," Lisa sighed, trying to sound sympathetic, "Maybe if that would not have happened, you would have not believed in your relationship."

"And that's a good thing." It wasn't a question.

"That's the good thing," Lisa agreed, "Now, you can make her believe in it too,"

"Yeah." Oliver smiled, looking down in his lap, as if thinking of something.

He could. He _had _to.

"Yes," She said affirmatively, "You know how she runs away, Oliver and you know why she runs away. If anything, you are the only person who can stop her. Then do it." The lady told him, "Don't hold back."

"..Can I write something?" His request surprised her, but she smiled and nodded her head. Oliver had stopped writing recently, because he had started talking. The reason why they made their patients write is because they wanted the patient's thoughts to be crisp. They wanted them to vent out, Oliver talked now. He didn't exactly need the paper anymore.

But he wanted to write again. Because, this time he wasn't venting himself out to her. He didn't want to talk to her—but to someone else.

She watched him pick up the pen, and start writing and she smiled, maybe she had an idea who that might be.

…

**Feb 2013**

"_Have you ever tried looking for her?" His Grams asked him one day and he placed the phone back in his pocket hastily, "N-no." He mumbled, shaking his head, "I never tried."_

"_Don't you think you should?"_

"_She changed her number, Grams. There is no way of contacting her." Oliver informed, "We don't know where she is." He looked down at the ground, he knew she was in Central City but it wasn't worth it._

"_You never felt the need to look for her, Oliver?" She asked softly, "Never? You never felt the need to talk to her?"_

_Oliver's eyes clouded. There had been a lot of times, where he had wanted to go to Central City, a lot of times when he had wanted to talk to her—just her._

_He wanted her to know how he was, he wanted to know how she was. _

_But he couldn't._

_Because he had left that part of himself behind. She didn't deserve it either. It wasn't worth it-what if he actually comes across the two of them together?_

_What would he say? Congratulate them on the new life the two of them had started together? Tell her about the pain she had inflicted on his life?_

_Tell her that she had made him a broken shell of man?_

_No, he didn't have anything to say. _

_Nothing._

…

Felicity let out a sigh as she stood at the threshold of the restaurant. She was living her life exactly the way she had imagined too. She had never turned back ever since that day. So, really—why was she thinking so much about him today? She brushed the imaginary dust off her green dress, trying to get rid of the feeling.

"You ready?" Ed stood right beside her, "Yeah." Felicity gave him a smile and nodded her head, trying to reassure herself more than him.

The two of them stepped inside and made a beeline towards their table. Felicity removed her beige coat and hung it behind her chair. "Right." Ed said, pulling the chair for her and she nodded her head with a smile.

Ed was a nice guy. Then why—why was she feeling this way?

"So," Ed asked and Felicity raised her eyebrows, echoing the same statement, "So,"

They reached a halt, not sure what to talk about. In the past it had been easy, but now—she didn't know. Her mind was clouded by different thought yet again, and she was trying to push past them. Why today of all days?

If it had been with Oliver, she knew he would probably begin with a joke and then it would just _flow. _They never needed a topic to talk about, it was just them and things just fell into place.

With them, it was always like that.

Life had been going well. Surely, every now and then she thought of what had happened but she had the _power _to push it away. However today, it was roaming in her mind and she hated it.

But this was the second time this was happening, Oliver dominating her thoughts. She had _let go _of him so what was stopping her this time?

It wasn't fair to him, she thinking about someone else. It wasn't fair to her either, nosediving into a relationship where she won't be able to give her hundred percent. So really, what was it? Is it too early to move on? Was it that?

Should she give herself time?

Because maybe letting go of him, wasn't as easy as she thought it will be.

…

"How is everything at QC?" He asked her and Felicity bit back a groan, of course he would ask that question, "I haven't been actually going to it for the past few days. Handling things from home."

"Really?" Ed frowned, "Why is that?"

_You know why._

_It isn't real._

"Well, it's mainly because of—"

"Oliver?" Ed supplied and Felicity sighed, nodding her head, "Yeah." She mumbled, "It's kind of complicated, we are not exactly—" Her mind drifted off for a second, "I mean we—"

"Felicity," Ed stopped her short, "Remember when you told me you wanted to give us a try," He mumbled, "You said were not sure if you could do it."

Felicity knew where this conversation was heading and she hated herself for it, but she felt slightly relieved. She would have approached the subject sooner or later, tonight.

Because this wasn't a relationship _now, _how can it be one later on? How is she supposed to commit herself fully when even the slightest of his actions reminded her of Oliver?

This has never happened when she was in Central City, but ever since she had entered Starling a lot of things have changed. Here she was, fantasizing about him. Ed was perfect but she wasn't ready. Not when she found their conversations boring and found herself drifting off in her own world where she remembered Oliver and she.

She wasn't ready to move on, yet.

"So, you have nothing to feel guilty for." He told her and Felicity shot him a sad smile, "Ed—"

"So, it's really going to be that?"

"You're really nice, Ed," Felicity started, "You're a really great guy—I just am not ready yet." She shook her head, trying to explain it to him, "I'm just really sorry. It's not going to happen."

"So does that mean we can go back to normal?" He asked and she frowned, "What?"

"Don't tell me I am the only one who noticed,"

"Noticed what?"

"That the two of stopped interacting properly ever since we tried the dating thing. I mean, I miss the old dynamic more." He told her.

Turns out, as much as Ed would have wanted to explore this dynamic, it wasn't exactly suited for dating. They were better off as friends and he was aware of it too.

Maybe because he was aware her heart lied with someone else.

"Wait, you thought so too?" Felicity laughed a little, maybe it was because the entire time this was happening, her mind was somewhere else, "Guess our actual normal is where I cry about my life and you listen to me."

"Speaking of," Ed started and Felicity felt normal now, better than before, "You don't feel lonely in this city anymore, do you?"

Did she?

She had gained a lot of people back ever since she had come back to this city, the loneliness had surely drifted away but there was still something hollow inside of her. But that is something that can't change so she won't dwell on it.

"I don't," She answered genuinely, "A lot of things have changed since then," She paused, "I've gained a lot—I've lost a lot," She frowned, "Things have changed."

"And you're accepting those changes?"

Felicity was caught off guard but she managed to regain her composure, "Yeah." She mumbled, "I am."

"Then why do you still seem lonely?" He asked and Felicity blinked, surprised.

She didn't answer him.

…

Felicity stepped out of the restaurant while putting on her coat. She brushed the imaginary dust off of it before fixing her hair a little, setting it properly as she waited for Ed to come out.

"So, that was nice," He joined her and Felicity nodded. It indeed was. Ever since they had talked to one another properly, Felicity realized how much she had liked the previous dynamic and wasn't a fan of the new one, "I'm glad that happened."

She was too. If anything, two dates in a row where you are thinking about someone else is an indication that you are not ready to move on.

"So, come on, I'll drop you home—"

"No," She shook her head, "Actually I wanted to go somewhere." She moved her head, she had been thinking about it ever since Ed had told her those words. She didn't know-but that had made her feel _lonely. _

"Where?"

"Someplace where I don't feel lonely." She said cryptically and laughed a little.

"That's nice," He told her, "I really glad we did this, Felicity," He told her genuinely and the blonde smiled, "Me too."

"I'll see you later," She said that as a final goodbye and Ed nodded his head. There was a certain sense of normalcy in the air now. Previously, it had been full of hope, expectation—she didn't know.

This felt well however, friendship.

She turned around, beginning to walk away from him when he called her back. She stopped right in the middle of her path, turning around to catch a glimpse of him, "What?" She asked.

"Remember how you said that you want to move on but don't want to?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, maybe you don't want to either." She frowned, trying to decipher the meaning of it and stopped dead in her tracks.

"Just think about it," He mumbled, moving the other way.

…

**April 2012**

"_Felicity." The woman in question turned her head towards the source of the voice and nodded her head, "Queen, right?" Her psychiatrist as she sat opposite to her and Felicity replied, "Yeah." She let out a deep breath, her fingers twitching—a parody of Oliver's nervous twitch._

"_So, tell me about yourself, Felicity?" She started talking and Felicity smiled a little, "I am Felicity Queen. I just lost my kid," She mumbled, her eyes burning, "I am not sure—I am not sure about my marriage either." She felt like she was going to have a nervous breakdown right here. _

"_I need help," She mumbled through her tears. She had realized that she did need help, it wasn't going to work out otherwise. She wasn't ready to lose Oliver, she refused to let that happen. _

"_It'll be okay." The psychiatrist whispered, placing her hand on the top of hers to show support, "Everything is going to be fine." She nodded her head, trying to make her patient understand._

"_It's going to seem hard at first, accepting reality. But you need to know that you will make through. And eventually, all of it will work out well."_

"_And, my marriage?" She mumbled, her voice breaking. She played with her wedding ring unconsciously._

"_All of it." The psychiatrist reassured, "Eventually, you'll find your way back to him."_

_Eventually, she will._

…

Felicity entered the one place where she didn't feel lonely. Ironically, it was the one place where nobody was there. Well, there were two people but that was it.

She stepped inside the Queen's Garden, holding onto the flowers. Somehow, she had started venting out to her son and her father. It had become a routine, she didn't lonely rather she felt like she was _with _them instead.

She hadn't really visited this place, or the people in the mansion for quite a while because she was hell bent on ignoring Oliver and achieving the normalcy she wanted to achieve.

Had she achieved it?

Had she actually been able to move on? Now that Ed was off the board too, she didn't know what to think. She couldn't put her life on hold for Oliver but she couldn't go back to the office either. Not when, he was there—someone who was now stopping her from moving on. She didn't a need a man to move on. But she did need to move on.

She needed to leave Oliver behind. Back then, Oliver himself was a reminder of this fact but now—she didn't know.

_I want to be with you._

_You know why._

It's funny how overtime, the memories she had of him had been replaced so easily. There was a time, when she thought of him and all that popped up in her head was the brutal words he had thrown her way—but now, it was these memories that came across her mind instead.

But he shouldn't be on her mind either way.

He was a friend—nothing more.

She shook her head, wanting to snap out of her world and instead made a beeline towards the graves.

"Hey," She whispered softly, placing the two sets of flowers she was carrying on their graves, "How are you?" She asked, rubbing her hand over Conner's grave.

Her eyes welled up with tears but the smile didn't fade away. Yeah, maybe she had found some sort normalcy in her damaged world too. At least, she could talk to them, right?

"Of course, I'll find you here," She heard _him _mumble and she froze for a second. She closed her eyes, shaking her head in an obvious way-she should have known. "What are you doing here?" Her voice cracked and she could hear him fidgeting. She bet either his hands were in his pocket or he was doing his nervous twitch—she _hated _this. How her first instinct was knowing this no matter how much she tried to push it away.

The heart wants what the heart wants, eh?

It_ can't. _

"I went to your house." He told her instead, "Didn't find you there so I went looking and of course, I'll find you here."

No matter how much Felicity tried to run away, she had established a constant, now. It was their son and she can't run away from that anymore.

"Wait, what?" She frowned, turning around to face him and Oliver's eyes widened a little when he took in her outfit—had she been on a date? Did it…did it end well?

"You look nice," He tried to go for this instead and Felicity retorted, "Why did you go to my house, Oliver?"

"Because I wanted to talk,"

"We already talked," Felicity shot back, "There is nothing else left to talk about."

There was a brief pause and Felicity wanted to go away, mostly because she wasn't ready for any of this.

"Why do you always try to run away?" He asked her, making a beeline towards her and Felicity blinked, surprised, "What?"

"Why do you always try to run away?" Oliver repeated himself, "Don't you get tired, Felicity. Do you think the pain—it becomes better when you walk away from it?" He tilted his head a little, his eyes flickering towards Conner, "Do you think you running away from Conner made all of it better?" His eyes locked with hers, "Running away from us would make it all better?"

"There is no us." She said, her voice thick and her eyes filled with unshed tears.

"Felicity," She had always told him how he had the ability to express all his emotions with just the way he says her name, this one held remorse and heartbreak and she didn't _want _to think about it.

"You say," She started, "I run away, right? I accepted things, Oliver," A tear trickled down her cheek and she wiped it away in an instant, "I accepted all of it. I accepted that we were not the same people anymore, that we could be friends, that I wanted to—" Her voice cracked, her face inches away from Oliver before she turned away. "All of it resulted in pain, Oliver. Everything."

"Was accepting Conner's death painful?" He asked instead, "You had to no matter what. Things don't change Felicity—they won't change."

"They are different!" Felicity reasoned back, "Our son remains dead no matter what, Oliver. You—relationships don't change overnight. This didn't either—it couldn't change." She mumbled.

"Our relationship didn't change, Felicity," Oliver told her and Felicity took a deep breath, "It never changed. It has always been the same—" He whispered, reaching for her face and she tried to move away but couldn't. She didn't protest again though, finding herself staring at him. "Do you do that too?" He mumbled, his hands cupping the side of her cheeks and she looked at him, through her thick lashes.

He wanted her to look at him and see that this was real. All of it was. He had come this far, all of it had always been real.

They had just been stupid enough not to see it before.

"Dangling maybes," He whispered, "Maybe it wasn't that. Maybe it was just a figment of our imagination, it couldn't be that—maybe it was concern or it was love," He muttered the last word softly and Felicity closed her eyes.

Isn't this what exactly what they were? Figment of imaginations, is what she called them. Her heart told her things but she _refused _to believe them.

_Love._

It had taken her so long to accept it, but now getting to live it? She wasn't sure of it. Because she _had. _In the past, she had—what if, what if it all breaks again?

_It was a dream, my dream. It shattered._

This can't _shatter._ She won't be able to endure it.

"I'm done dangling maybes."

It is what she had always wanted to hear and her heart soared, the hope had started to reignite again and she _wasn't _prepared for it.

But what about this reality?

Her eyes opened, a sigh escaping her lips. "Why now?" She mumbled.

It might have been the first time they were this _close. _It wasn't just an accident, it wasn't them trying to fix the pasts—no this was them, thinking of the future. After a long while, thinking of being with one another and now, no one was between them.

But _them._

"Because I don't want to lose you," He said, "I don't want to lose us." His forehead collided with hers for a second and let out a laugh through her tears, an involuntary smile appearing on her face as she realized those were the exact words she told him once.

There it was. _Something. _Her eyes weren't blank anymore and Oliver could breathe, they were finally stepping towards one another.

They were going to make it through.

The smile went away, as she said the words, "What about Lau—"

"Shh," He whispered, "I know." He nodded his head. He knew she was afraid of being with him again and he knew, it was going to take time. All of it will, but this was a start.

The first step.

He wiped the tears of her cheeks with the help of his thumbs as he mumbled, "I know that they are a lot of things still left. And you're still not there."

"But I have figured my life out, Felicity and I am here," He said it with conviction, "And I am not going anywhere, Felicity. All of this is real and it won't break. I won't let it…break." He told her and Felicity closed her eyes, taking it all in.

"Know that this is real, Felicity and you can't run away from this." He whispered. She felt his breathe near her mouth and she stiffened but before she could do anything, she felt him remove his hands and stepped away. She still didn't open her eyes, perhaps she expected him to do something or was just afraid that if she opened her eyes, all of this will _shatter. _

By the time, she did open her eyes—she found out he was gone.

He didn't do anything, why?

_And you are still not there but I am here._

A gasp escaped her lips as she looked down at her hands, they were shaking and she moved them a little, unsure of what to do before bringing them near her face, trying to wipe the tear tracks away.

It had been a long journey for the two of them, but they had reached this point. And it wasn't so close yet so far this time.

They were _close. _

And Oliver had just taken the first step.

And maybe, just maybe Felicity was ready to take the second.

…

**Done, Done! **

**Hope you all liked it.**

**Also, do watch out for the next chapter.**

**Because really, that one is happy :D **

**Seeya next time, **

**Srishti x **


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